#anyways none of my hypothesis ended up being true but that's ok

[uraandri]

my thesis should have been: why GII sucks ass as a form of measurement of gender inequality

[backyardfun]

Recent thoughts on Jikook...

Opposites do not always attract, and I don’t think of jikook as straight opposites either. There’s a lot to unpack when you look at BTS and coming to any quick conclusion is a little presumptuous, because we only know so much. The fact that we know that jikook are close is because they don’t mind doing things out of group activities together out in the public. It comes with a risk and also is maybe a big factor in their relationship(platonic or not). they just can’t help but be together all the time. which in of itself, spawns romantic thoughts right? Because hell, if any of us commoners were doing any of that, well people would also think that maybe something was going on. Except that BTS is like...still rising and they get busier and tour and don’t really have time for anyone but each other, respectively. Which is also interesting, because when you think about it, nobody wants to be constantly surrounded by their s/o. Absence makes the heart grow fonder right? Like it’s nice for some time, but it can become a real burden really easily. At least we know that they don’t always share rooms now so that gives them some sort of respite (i’m in no way saying that any members don’t like each other, as an introvert however i have a deep understanding of people’s need for alone time).

So how does jikook find balance through all that? Hypothetically, if they are indeed in a relationship, how do they make it work with all the attention they get from the outside world and what exactly, hypothetically, to be out and public? there are three very simple answers: they’re not a couple (bear with me), homosexual relationships are making strides but are still frowned upon and the third comes in correlation with the second one; they might lose some of their fanbase. Also, it’s none of anybody’s business. That might be it. That might just be one of the biggest issues they have, however when you think about it, it’s not really an issue. Because Jungkook is getting bolder with his actions and Jimin is not stupid, he chooses to respond to it. I don’t think anyone in BTS wakes up trying to find ways to discredit anyone else, actually they are so supportive of each other’s personal projects. So the fact that jikook promotes their relationship so much and that nobody says anything, but acts like it’s a problem, is also something that makes my ears tingle.

Namjoon is always, always, coming in between them publicly. If he isn’t, something is likely to happen. Jungkook gets on his knees, Jimin steps on Jungkook’s foot. There’s always something going on. Then again Namjoon can’t be everywhere and he’s not anyone’s mom. But if you look at it objectively, a concert or interview is not always the best way to gage anyone’s relationship. It’s not so much what jikook does to me, it’s how the other members react to it. Because you know Jimin touches everyone. It’s how he shows love and support. I don’t go apeshit watching jikook touch each other on stage like yes that’s lovely, it’s all lovely to me all of BTS is beautiful and I enjoy every single moment between any member. I live for bros supporting each other. This is hard on them. What makes me believe this is different is how other members react to it. You know what I’m talking about so I’m not going to delve into that for too long, but this is one of the reasons why I think jikook is special. If I’d base my thoughts of jikook on physical touching, hell, Jimin would be dating all of BTS, but I digress…

There’s also the fact, that we can always look back on GCF Tokyo…. And the fact that Jimin and Jungkook(but mostly Jimin) never shut up about it. Yes, taking someone on a trip for the first time is nice, yes taking them to all those beautiful places and even Disneyland is…. Lovely. But filming it? Posting it? Putting a particular song with suggestive(romantic) connotations? BTS isn’t stupid. BigHit let it happen… so what does that tell us? That whatever their relationship is, it’s monitored. If Namjoon’s constant presence (interfering is a bit harsh but I’ll put it out there anyway) is another tell as well. There is something there, something that’s a little more than a common friendship, which I will elaborate on now.

The box syndrome. It’s when you find yourself surrounded constantly so much by the same person/people that you start building an attraction for them physically or mentally that you would not otherwise, in any other context. I try to think of it objectively of course, at the end of the day no one knows anything 100%  which is why it’s good to remind yourself that BTS isn’t going to last forever. I know it’s the saddest thing to think about, but the truth of it is as such; BTS will not go for eternity. There’s also military time that comes into perspective and omfg the next five years might get bittersweet, but hey, their legacy is what matters, ok? My point is (don’t cry) is that nobody that does anything the way jikook are doing now, comes out unscathed. Ok? I read this in a fanfic lately and it had possibly one of the best descriptions of love I’ve stumbled across so far but love is when the other person fills out the empty space. It’s when you talk and open yourself. In those spaces, the other person creeps in. In the silent pauses you fall deeper. In the unspoken and human gestures--in the unintentional actions, when they’re unconscious you’re in awe-- that you fall deeper and deeper. (I screenshotted it so I don’t remember the name of the fic but I will hunt it down and give proper credit).I worry about what is going to happen to them afterwards. The closeness someone brings can also leave behind a huge gap. If the hypothesis that they’re in fact living together right now is true, then does that mean that they’ll keep doing it once they don’t professionally have an excuse to? Would friendship be enough?

Finally, I mean I could go on but this is getting stupid long, you might say they’re seeing other people. But again, think about it. Even if some of their stares and touches are fanservices, there are still some gestures that are born out of instincts. For example the last vlive. Now, I’m not going to go into some deep, deep observation of the jikook moments that happen but rather, the entirety of it. Again, I have to point out that there was a LOT to unpack. There is also the in between tweet Jimin took of Jungkook right? So really we had a solid hour and half glimpse into what happened last night in New York. I won’t bother you with details… but I wanna talk about how Jimin acted in those first five minutes, versus how he acted afterwards. Again, without going into detail, Jimin’s action were intimate, his voice was softer and jikook just has that general glow when they’re together. Like yes Jimin touched other people, but it didn’t have that same vibe and the same context. All ship aside, it was a very sweet and precious moment… shared with no one but each other so….

Jikook is loud and that’s why people worry when they’re quiet, but honestly I don’t ever worry because of the whole absence makes the heart grow stronger and they’re not exclusive. Like, they get along with other members and do other stuff with them, they don’t have to constantly be at each other’s mercy and side. Isn’t it enough that they’re already almost inseparable and keep colliding into each other? Satellites, forreal.

Again, I would like to say that these are just thoughts and that as human beings we should respect the privacy of everyone, including our favorite artists. Go stream Boy With Luv and I hope that you have a nice day. Borahae.

[spiderfan22]

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY-ONE - 6/11/17

“FLIP-FLOPPER (ABANDONED)” by DJS

Hello. So here’s a little story all about how I totally gave up on a short play I was writing. The proof is what follows. In short, I started with a very small idea: the fact that I, personally, hate flip-flips. (Sorry to any flip-flop lovers or even just wearers out there, but it’s true, I do.) I decided to take that idea and run with it. But over the course of the few days I’ve been working on this play, I’ve grown increasingly bored with the outcome. So I made the executive decision (the executive board consisting of me, myself, and eye-yi-yi) to put this sucker out of its misery. But I didn’t want to leave the story unresolved either, so enjoy the tacked on ending wherein the main character tries to kill himself, fails, and then there is a dance party.

I know.

A hotel room in a tropical locale. Probably Hawaii.

In shambles. Leftover room service, overflowing suitcase, soiled towels, etc.

But most peculiarly, hundreds of pairs of flipflops--different colors and sizes, but the same basic Old Navy model—hundreds of flip flops, ALL MUTILATED in some fashion. Cut up or ripped apart. Obviously the work of a psychotic.

Late afternoon. Sound of ocean and beach-goers not far off, below.

At first glance the room appears empty. But the door to the balcony is open, and a second later a young man backs into the room--shirtless, deeply tanned, in faded cutoff jeans—slowly lowering a pair of binoculars from his eyes.

Meet TONY.

He stops, clutching the binoculars, lost in a trance for a moment.

Then Tony goes quickly into the bathroom. We can hear him peeing loudly into the toilet. He reemerges (not washing his hands), grabs a stray chicken strip from a plate, and proceeds suck on it like a lolly pop.

He sits at the foot of the bed. He takes up a pair of pinking shears and an “unmolested” flipflop. Then with a delicate, studied precision, he snips off the toe-end of the shoe.

Followed by the heel.

Then the bands that keep the flipflop on your foot.

Snip, snip, snip. Quite happily. Relishing every cut.

Then he savagely goes to town, taking apart the rest of the shoe in a matter of seconds, Tasmanian Devil-style.

By the end he’s breathing heavy. On the verge of delirium. Likely aroused.

The phone in the room rings.

Tony freezes. He listens to the phone ring seven times. Then it stops.

He looks at the remains of the flipflop he’s holding, fixated. Then he nonchalantly tosses it over his shoulder.

Tony is about to start on another flipflop when his mobile phone (plugged into the wall by the TV) sounds an alarm. He inhales sharply, exasperated. The alarm continues to chime, until he gets up and swipes it off.

He brings up his contacts and presses a number. Spits out the chicken strip (if he hasn’t already). Waits.

The line picks up.

TONY “Mom”?

           Yeah, I’m just checking in.

Because I said I would – no reason. Because you made me promise – same time, every day.

Of course it’s inconvenient. I’m working. But it was your rule you forced down my throat. I agreed to it just so I might have some semblance of control, or to even the playing field just a little in this relationship – if you can call it that. It’s so one sided – lopsided.

No, that’s not up for debate, “Mom”.

Because it’s the way it is. It’s true, that’s why. Ask anyone.

No, not Jim. Not one of your cohorts, your little cronies – but an outside, unaffiliated, like objective hopefully, so they can see their way to view the situation with the necessary distance and not for an opinion just based on what you can do for them or what you did do for them, but unbiased. Non-biased.

Well I don’t think that’s too much to ask and I don’t think I’m going overboard or it’s “making a mountain out of a mole hill.” That’s a stupid expression anyway, I just want to tell you so maybe you stop using it in the future.

What?

Yeah, the project’s going well. A lot of movement – we’re making a lot of headway. I mean, it was slow going at first but now things are really starting to pick up stream.

Steam. Steam.

Stop it, you know I meant steam.

No.

No, and stop asking.

Because you know I can’t tell you my location.

Because it’s an experiment and that’s called an outside variable and you could ruin – you could spoil the whole outcome.

My hypothesis, “Mom” – which so far, if you must know, has been right on track, thank you very much. I’ve been right on the money. I mean if you saw the results I was getting…

Well, you’d be impressed. This is revolutionary, this could change the whole field.

No I’m not seeing anyone. What kind of question is that?

No I haven’t met a “nice girl” – that’s not my purpose. That’s not my purpose here.

Because – at this point? At this point in proceedings – it would just be a distraction. And my focus must be laser – like a laser, laser-focused. Laser………….

Sharp, yes. Now I must go. I must be getting off the phone. Lots of intensive – real work to do. Yet to go.

OK, love you too.

No I love you more.

No I love you more.

Love you more.

No I love you more.

I love you more.

Love you more.

Love you more.

Love you more.

No I love you more.

LoveyoumoreGoodnight”Mom”.

Tony ends the call. Tosses the phone on the bed.

He takes up the pinking shears again. He snips at the air in small, quick, delicate movements.

He looks for the TV remote. But after a good deal of searching around the room, under the detritus, can’t find it.

He sniffs his armpit. Recoils from the smell. He thinks about taking a shower and goes looking for a clean towel. There are none, so he chooses the cleanest towel he can find.

He is about to step out of his shorts when there is a knock at the door.

Tony stops, quickly pulls up his shorts.

More knocking.

CONCIERGE, off     Excuse me, Mr. Reynolds, sir? This is the hotel concierge. I don’t mean to trouble you. If I could just have a minute of your time, please, then I’ll be out of your hair. Hate to disturb you, sir, just be a minute.

Tony stays quiet. More knocking.

                                   Mr. Reynolds? Uhhhh, anybody home? Again, I hate to trouble you, just have a small matter to discuss. Then, like I said, I’ll leave you be. However, it is quite urgent and, well, I’d hate to bring in hotel security on a thing like this. Really prefer to solve the problem just between ourselves. Simpler that way. I’m sure you feel the same, keep things easy, light.

TONY                         ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

CONCIERGE, off     Mr. Reynolds??

TONY                         ummmmmm Just a minute! Uno momento!

Tony frantically moves about the room trying to hide all the flipflops and pieces of flipflop that he can. He shoves pieces under the bed, into the suitcase, in the closet, in the bathroom, anywhere, so not a vestige of flipflop remains in sight. At the same time, he keeps calling out “Uno momento! Just a minute!” over and over again.

The concierge continues knocking and he raises his voice.

CONCIERGE, off     Mr. Reynolds, I’m not sure what’s going on here, though I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this and if you would just open the door we’ll clear up any misunderstandings. But I must insist, you see, as much as I would like to let us both go about our business and call it a day, that this is my job – well, I’m sure you understand being a working man yourself – and while we may not enjoy every aspect of our jobs to the same degree, what’s expected of us, of how we conduct ourselves, doesn’t change. It can’t change, otherwise there’d be chaos. Or not full-fledged chaos, not looting in the streets, but just general disorder – and so I guess if we could avoid that, I’d greatly appreciate, like I said, you opening the door, so we can sort this all out. Now how does that sound? Sound good?

At that moment, immediately after the concierge has finished this speech, Tony opens the door.

The concierge stands on the threshold, surprise dissolving to an awkward smile.

CONCIERGE Thank you, sir. Mr. Reynolds, sir.

TONY Oh, yeah, no problem –

CONCIERGE Thank you for opening the door, sir.

TONY You’re uhhhhhh, welcome, yeah.

CONCIERGE Straighten this up right away –

TONY What?

CONCIERGE Pardon, sir?

TONY                         Straighten – I’m sorry – you said “straighten this up,” “straighten this up right away,” but what like – I mean, I mean, what would need straightening? Because I’ve just been in my room. I mean I went down to the beach for a little bit, I’m not gonna lie – but the sun, I don’t – I don’t think it’s agreeing with me so much. Kind of disappointing if you must know. I booked this trip –

CONCIERGE            Yes, thank you, sir, we can talk about all that, but first would you mind if I stepped in the room.

TONY                         Inside? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

CONCIERGE            No reason to be alarmed, sir.

TONY                         Yeah. No, of course not, it’s just – I’m in the middle of something kinda here, and –

CONCIERGE            Two minutes, sir.

TONY                         Two minutes? Two minutes what and you’re outta here? You’ll leave? Not that, you know, not that that’s uhhhhh –

CONCIERGE            Two minutes is all I need.

TONY                         For?

CONCIERGE            For?

TONY                         Yeah, what for? Two minutes for what?

CONCIERGE            Well, to clear up a matter.

TONY                         Clear up?

CONCIERGE            I promise, a few questions and I’m out of your hair.

TONY                         You said that already.

CONCIERGE            Well, I meant it. Sir.

TONY                         Uhhh, uhhhhhh. Yeah. OK. Come on. Come on in, I guess.

He steps back, allowing the concierge to enter the room.

                                   Sorry about the, you know, the state of things –

CONCIERGE            No problem, sir.

TONY                         - as they are. Or aren’t. I’m usually much better if you can believe it.

CONCIERGE            No doubt, Mr. Reynolds.

TONY                         Tony. It’s Tony. You can call me Tony – if you want. If you don’t want, it’s fine too. Ummmmmmmmmm

The concierge takes a position as close to the center of the room as possible. During the following, he does a slow 180, scanning half the room top to bottom. Then turns and scans the other half. All as inconspicuously as possible.

                                   So what can I – what I can help you fellas with? You said you had a few questions for me? Though I can’t imagine the subject matter.

CONCIERGE            Yes, sir.

TONY                         Now please, I’ve told you, please call me Tony. It’s what I would prefer and, well, you know what they say –

CONCIERGE            No, what do they say, sir?

TONY                         I was getting to that. About the customer –

CONCIERGE            The customer, sir?

TONY                         Tony, please, for the last time. Jesus…

CONCIERGE            Apologies, sir.

TONY                         So is this – uhhh. Was there a problem with my credit card or something? I mean is that it, is that all? Because I can give you another one, no problem. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure of the limit on the Visa I had you put down. That’s my fault. If you need a new card, just ask. Because you know I should have gone with the American Express now that I think about it. Crazy limit – way too much, more than I would ever, could ever charge. I don’t even know why they approved me for such an amount. Not that my credit’s not bad or anything, it’s actually on the high end of – of the scale.

Tony watches the concierge, waiting for him to respond. Nothing.

                                   So is that it, is that what?

CONCIERGE            Is what what, sir?

TONY                         Why you’re – why you needed to talk to me.

CONCIERGE            I’m afraid not, sir.

TONY                         (small) Boy I wish you’d call me Tony.

CONCIERGE            No, the matter I came here to discuss was a complaint.

TONY                         But I didn’t lodge any.

CONCIERGE            I know that. Not you, sir. Another guest.

TONY                         What? Who?

CONCIERGE            Well, you understand we like to keep these things anonymous, sort out one end, then the other – to avoid any contention.

TONY                         Oh. So is uhhhh – so is this complaint – it’s not – I mean, it’s not like it’s against muh-muh – me, is it? Because I don’t see where it could be. Because I’ve pretty much stuck to my room, as I’ve told you, since checking in. Had very few encounters, if any, with other guests. I guess I just don’t see how. And if anyone was complaining about me, they would very well, most likely be a liar. Because I’ve mostly stayed to my room. I don’t like the sun, you see. A little sun goes a long way with me. I burn – I burn so easily, doesn’t matter the SPF, I can lather myself and it – the rays still get through somehow. So best to avoid altogether is, uhhh, is my general policy.

CONCIERGE            So you weren’t down by the pool yesterday afternoon?

TONY                         yesterday? What time yesterday? Uhhh, no. No. I think I was taking a nap.

CONCIERGE            Around 2pm.

TONY                         No, no. I was up here – in my room, uhhh, umm – resting. Yes.

CONCIERGE            At 2pm.

TONY                         Or thereabouts, yeah. Yeahh, uhhhhhh

CONCIERGE            Because we have a report –

TONY                         A what?

CONCIERGE            A report, sir.

TONY                         But I thought you said you had a complaint.

CONCIERGE            They’re one and the same, sir, the report was a complaint.

TONY                         The report was the complaint?

CONCIERGE            Yes, sir.

TONY                         And this report was about me?

CONCIERGE            That’s what I’m trying to get to the bottom of, sir. Of course, we’d like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt –

TONY                         Why don’t you just do that then? Why don’t you just go with that and we can – we can put the matter behind us? Because I really don’t think we’re gonna get anywhere with this line of questions.

CONCIERGE            You didn’t go down to the pool yesterday afternoon?

TONY                         Uhhhh, not at 2pm.

CONCIERGE            So, are you saying you went down to the pool at a different time?

TONY                         Uhhhhh. Well, I mean – yes. Yes. I was there a bit earlier, closer to one forty-five.

CONCIERGE            1:45?

TONY                         Yes. So you see it couldn’t have been me, whoever this complaint was about, because while I might have been down at the pool –

CONCIERGE            You just said you were.

TONY                         - I was, but – as I pointed out, at an earlier time.

CONCIERGE            Fifteen minutes.

TONY                         So the timeline – your timeline – it doesn’t – I mean it doesn’t work out anymore. Does it? It’s just off now. It couldn’t be me.  The person you – the person the complaint’s, the report’s – which I’m still confused over because those things seem like they should be different, be separate – the person it’s – whatever it is – is about.

CONCIERGE            A guest of the resort is claiming he saw you take his –

TONY                         PLEASE! NO MORE! I CAN’T TAKE IT!  I GIVE UP! IT WAS ME, I STOLE THOSE SHOES! BECAUSE I HATE, I HATE, I HATE FLIP-FLOPS!!!!!! AND THIS IS WHAT I DO TO THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Tony throws open the closet – the bathroom – pulls flipflops out from under the bed, everywhere he’s stashed them – until the room is brimming with flipflops once more.

The concierge’s reaction is huge!

Then, before a word can be said, Tony rushes to the balcony and flings himself off the side. Concierge rushes after him. Looks down.

A couple seconds. Then we hear a small splash below.

The concierge walks downstage and addresses the audience directly, in a dopey Southerner Gomer Pyle voice:

CONCIERGE He landed in the pool.

Pause.

Music kicks in. Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” featuring Pharrell Williams.

The concierge starts to dance in a really cool, idiosyncratic fashion.

Soon, he is joined by Tony, who comes back through the hotel room door, soaking wet.

They dance to the music. The audience is encouraged to get up and join them.

THE END