#anyways i feel ill ohhhhh they make me so…�� yeah. i need them both.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

omg!! tbh i was shy in sending you this because i wasn't sure if you'd like it, hence the anon ask. but yes... I have thoughts and ideas and feelings. hurt/comfort angsty shit is my thing. i think how he'd feel bittersweet of noticing changes in knight reader's behavior as time goes on, mostly in the beginning. and they get more used to it. violence has always been there, so why would they change? there's a difference when you're part of it as a victim and when you're the one responsible for it, he understands. he notices a certain darkness growing in them. stiff shoulders, scars and rougher hands from restless training. how their eyes are heavier, way darker than before, filled with a promise of harm. a silent warning. he'd take these little observations to himself quietly. like tragic events you can only watch and do nothing about because it isn't in your control. Prince Gojo knows the weight of the responsibility they've chosen. Knight reader has become so efficiently good at it, it's strange to him. the day he realizes what they're capable of unforgivable acts. red filling his sight, he could almost believe that the sky had changed colors as well. a warm atmosphere of thick blood that's difficult to breath in, uncomfortable, unnatural. for a second he saw no light in knight's eyes, which he's so fond of. duty. the promise of protection much louder in knight's ear than the scream of the men ahead that'll soon fall to the ground. those changes certainly make his heart ache. specially when knight reader, who's covered in dirt, sweat and blood denies touching him as to not stain his perfectly clean skin and clothes. or when knight reader says that it's too disgusting to touch and smell, so he should stay far from them. but we know Gojo would not care and indulge in his heart desires, in the hunger to comfort and clean them from such events. as if he could steal knight reader from everything and everyone. offer them all of his truly undying love. away from sharp edges. a place where there's nothing but softness and the brightness of gojo's smile.

@softgirlgonehaywire MICKEYYY COME LOOK COME LOOK WE ARE BEING FED

GOSH your brain!!!!!! your beautiful clever brain!!!!!! yes. just yes. u get them so well!!! i agree w literally everything u said……. U WROTE THIS SO BEAUTIFULLY TOO HHH THAT JUST MAKES IT HURT MORE….;;;;;;; T_T

first of all; im sorry to bring satosugu into literally everything (it will happen again) but like. i think what will always break me is the fact that suguru is canonically compared to a setting sun because all gojo could do was helplessly watch him fade away AND THATS JUST…… yeah. the idea of him failing to protect the One person he loves no matter the universe is so soulcrushing to me.

and the idea of him being forced to watch as his knight grows more cynical, as they start to become more and more infected by duty, duty, duty (if i ever finish the knight!sugu fic im cooking up ill definitely dissect this concept more but to me duty is like. almost a Disease in this world. something that corrupts.)… it’d break his heart a bit. he would definitely pull some strings to try and ease their duties and burdens but there’s only so much he can do :( (more motivation for him to become king so he can protect u properly!! tbh i think king!gojo would be twice as protective maybe a little manic… or maybe it would get him to relax a bit more… who knows who knows (<- thinking many thoughts))

but. gosh. the way u phrased this im literally going rabid……… ”violence has always been there, so why would they change?” / ”(…) filled with a promise of harm. a silent warning.” / ”the promise of protection much louder in knight's ear than the scream of the men ahead (…)” <- THIS ONE ESPECIALLY OHHH U GET IT U DO!!! placing satoru’s safety above everything else…. ruining themselves bc of that devotion…….. ur writing is so pretty btw im in awe

AND GODDDDD u know the way to my heart!! the guilt knight!reader feels, not wanting satoru to stain his own hands w the blood on theirs… they just see him as being so far above, like the sun in the sky, and thats also why i think they would feel some sort of urge to keep their distance… they’d rather die than dirty him, literally or figuratively. (but in reality i think prince!gojo is already a bit twisted and dirtied on his own and thats what knight!reader might not completely realize…) its literally just this:

if u listen closely u can hear the sound of me falling to my knees. both of them are a little sick in the head but they love each other so dearly, not even romantically, just as individuals…. they’re just in love w each other’s existence i think. it’s a very pure kind of love!!!

as if he could steal knight reader from everything and everyone. offer them all of his truly undying love. away from sharp edges. a place where there's nothing but softness and the brightness of gojo's smile.

^ AND FINALLY THISSSSS ohhh u r killing me…. this is exactly it too!!! that desire to just steal them away and make sure theyre safe. he wouldnt do it bc he knows they wouldnt want that, but he rlly does just want them to be happy and safe all the time…. i think gojo is kind and mature enough to realize that hes being selfish and he wouldnt act on those desires but theyre very much there. all he can do is keep smiling for them, trying to get them to realize that its okay to depend on him too 🥺🥺

its so funny bc they rlly do both have a severe hero/savior complex LMAO its like two people-pleasers trying to decide what to have for dinner… nono you choose, you choose, im fine with anything!! you want whatever i want? but i want whatever you want…. silly little geese. i love them!!

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HI. MACKERELMORE. nhw trickster. killington. amity. the chaos zone. deadwood. new and funny and interesting ways to slaughter people. tide clone shit. bonesaw boiling the failed clones alive. muse. trickster using muse to do shit like u just saw in killington. the wards seeing the trickster using muse to execute people in ways Like That. holds up mic!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD. THERES SO MUCH GOOD FUCKING FOOD FOR NHW IN THE CHAPTERS I READ EARLIER. fuck. god. shit. okay.

starting with the trickster bc i feel like when i get into tides stuff ill talk for 10 years. ohhhhh my god dude as soon as they walked into a town called fucking KILLINGTON ????? i was like. god thats a joke trickster would make huh!!!!! hed think thats so fucking funny. (and it is. but only to me who has the advantage of seeing this as a narrative and not a real event i am experiencing. fucking hilarious shit. killington??!?!?!?!? killington. ) i have a lot of thoughts about the shit he did to Amity before he escaped and like. yeah. fuckin yeah. i dont think he wouldve killed Everyone in the city (gotta have. puppets to play with and also like. people who hes not controlling to chase around and hunt for sport) (this is fucking terrifying and awful! this is so bad! like catastrophically so!) but i definitely think when the wards go to amity (because i want them to do that so bad at some point) i think it will be in sort of a similar state to this with like. bodies strung up like decorations. graffiti made from fuckign. ash and blood and paint all mixed together. really obviously placed traps. etc etc etc. jsut like. evidence that this place is like his fucking playground! horrifying!

anyway yeah also muse holy shit. muse has to singlehandedly raze at least one fuckign town. for sure. dude dude like that fucking video jack had where they had everyone gathered together before they started killing them? that but with trickster and muse? and its . more fucking scary because instead of 200+ slaughterhouse 9 clones its literally JUST trickster and muse. and whatever random handful of puppets trickster is controlling around the edge of the crowd for extra sets of hands.. aauogaouguguhhghhhgh. i need them to do horrific shit.

OKAY. CLONE TIME. CLONE TIM.E . OUGHGHHGHGH TIIIIDE. TIIIIIIIIDE. how many failed clones do you htink there were. how many failed clones to make tide and magma. do you think they know about the failed clones. they got fucking BOILED ALIVE. do u think tide and magma ever see any of the other clones before theyre ready and they have to look at their own fucking faces (face?) and think about that. i still have that post abt the lambert family in my drafts god i need 2 finish that but. in my mind tide and magma are the oldest (technically magma is the oldest but tide was like. a year or less after him so theyre closer in age) and then it was. seismic and whirlwind at the same time so theyre twins. and then shockwave. and then elle. so i think tide and magma have that Eldest Sibling bond where they have. Issues that are parallel to each other. and a LOT of that comes from being endbringer juniors and a lot of that comes from being clones. but where magma got closed off and aloof about it tide like. desperately clung to kindness bc he doesnt like when people are scared of him. anyway im getting distracted. FUCKING CLOOOOOONE SHIT. CLONE LORE. WORM CLONE LORE. THE WHOLE LIKE. either implanting false memories from other people or needing to raise them from scratch????? thats fucking insane. oh my god. what the fuck kind of memories do u think they got. obviously a lot from dr lambert but like. man. do u think the endbringer thing is like baked into their fucking memories. its in their dna. i didnt quite understand the bit about bonesaw trying to give them their powers but if altering memories can alter what sorts of powers they get...... do the endbringers have dna. do u think tide and magma got endbringer dna in them. that would be sick (both in the sick meaning cool way and in the im gonna make myself sick way). actually that brings up the point. are the endbringers even organic??????????? or are they constructs?????????? since they were confirmed created by someone/something....... man. MANY THOUHGST HEAD FULL. HAVING A LOT OF EMOTIONS ABOUT NHW TIDE. bonesaw boiled the failed clones alive. i dont . i dont think tide and magma were ever *kids* (which is like. ow.) but like. god im just imagining the part in trigun where vash and knives find whats left of tesla. holy shit dude. do you see my vision here

[leejungchans]

— juliet on kingdom (episode 7).

juliet’s masterlist

from may 13’s episode

note: read the tweets from the bottom up 💕 keep in mind that this contains spoilers in case you want to watch the episode first :3 more under the cut bc this gets LONG ahjdhwjd 😔

— juliet’s outfit;

disclaimer: the blurring of faces in my outfit collages is in no way meant as a form of disrespect, the sole purpose is to put the focus on the hairstyle and there is absolutely no ill intent. thank you for understanding!!

so everyone really kinda freaked out last episode

bc they didn’t see juliet in the previews for the unit stages

she wasn’t with jongho, eunkwang and seungmin

nor was she with 3racha and joong

so that would leave the performance unit right??

atinys were desperately zooming into screenshots of the performance unit stage for any sign of our girl

and found nothing :(

even in the preview that came after the first one, she was nowhere to be seen 😔

eventually some people started theorising if it was bc mnet didn’t let her participate for whatever reason

and the truth is...drumroll please 🥁

SURPRISE

the boys sent her to be in the rap unit with joong 😋😋

mnet just didn’t show her scenes in the first two previews (like they did with minhyuk)

but she was in the previews where they went to jyp 🥺🥺

she was paired up with jisung for the 120-second interview :3

just two shy besties uwu

“why? why are you laughing?” jisung whines, “and right after you looked at my face too!”

juliet continues to laugh, hiding the lower half of her face behind her hands. “sorry, sorry, i’m not laughing at you, i promise!” she says between giggles, “i just didn’t expect us to be so nervous.”

“ah, i get shy around new people, more than what people would expect. so that’s kinda why i’m a bit awkward right now.”

“i’m like that too, but i thought we became closer friends during the sports day filming! i’m hurt!” she says, placing a hand over her heart.

“no, no, no!” jisung defends, waving his hands frantically, “we did! i’m still shy, i guess.”

“not shy, not me!” juliet sings in response, doing the hand movement in the choreography of itzy’s song.

stunned into silence by the sudden reference of his label-mates, jisung blinks at her owlishly before a loud ‘pft’ sound emits from both of them, and they dissolve into giggles once more.

“okay, okay,” she says, sobering up a little after a few seconds. “we need to do this seriously. no more being awkward! awkward is just a mindset.”

jisung’s eyes widen. “woah, you’re right. we won’t feel awkward if we just tell ourselves that we’re being cool.”

she nods approvingly. “exactly. we are cool.”

“okay then, let’s go!” he shouts enthusiastically, earning muffled snickers from the other members who are sitting off-screen.

juliet and jisung go quiet again from his outburst. she even tried to bite the inside of her cheek to stifle any laughter, but her efforts are futile as they both promptly collapse to the ground in a fit of giggles.

“i-i don’t think we can do this,” juliet wheezes to the cameras, clutching her stomach as tears gather in the corners of her eyes. beside her, jisung isn’t faring any better as he attempts to catch his breath.

off-screen, changbin playfully complains, “yah! what are you two doing? you’re supposed to be doing an interview!”

when she entered the jyp café with joong and minhyuk 3racha was like omg hiiiiiii

no one was happier than chan to see her 🥺

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI

3racha made her, joong and minhyuk sing their orders 💀💀

minhyuk: juliet your ears are so red lmao

juliet: [quickly untucks her hair so it covers her ears] do i really have to do this? 😭😭

chan: yes you do bestie 🤩

“[sighs] americanoooo~ joha joha~”

hongjoong: [cringes but also uwu bc she’s his baby]

3racha: kqjejwjdnsj awwww

minhyuk: ohhhhh~ cuteeee

smh juliet stop (unintentionally) collecting men 😔

okay but changbin treated them all with his jyp artist points 🥺🥺🥺 changbin best boy

juliet, to chan: i’ll come next time to use up your points 😼

minhyuk: me too!! juliet let’s go together!!!

yeah she malfunctioned for a second bc The™️ lee minhyuk just said that and he was her celebrity crush for the longest time pls

she is the most successful melody 😔

she was so excited when they all went to chan’s studio

“ohhhHhh so this is the famous chan’s room 😼 honoured to be here mate”

pls they named themselves 6racha and were literally just having a blast in the studio 😭😭😭

minhyuk: your voice sounds so different when you rap!!

juliet: really? 😅😅 i didn’t really notice

minhyuk: yeah it’s cool :]

okay but when they went to jypbob for lunch

she was so amazed by all the food

“😮😮😮 THIS ALL LOOKS SO GOOD WTF”

the Jeekies™️ making their debut on national tv

yes both jisung’s and juliet’s 🥰🥰

she was so shy when the others in mayfly came to watch rap unit’s rehearsal 😭😭😭

also everyone in the mayfly vocal and dance units went ❓❓❓ where is juliet????? shouldn’t she be here??????

felix: where’s my bestie :(

no lixliet for the unit stages 💔

wooyoung/jongho: oh she’s in the rap unit :D

“WDYM SHE’S IN THE RAP UNIT??????”

okay but as much of a power move this is, she was also so so so nervous

like, the most nervous she’s ever been on kingdom

bc she’s going to be performing with so many incredible rappers, juliet knows that she really has to give it her all to keep up with them

so she was Big Stressed™️ and not in a fun way

it was more of a “oh god what if i’m way too far behind and the difference in skill is so obvious that i cost our groups points????” way

but in true queen fashion, she definitely killed it during rehearsals and everyone in the unit reassured her that she had nothing to worry about 🥺🥺

move over round 2 juliet bc if you thought that was the last we’d see of rapper juliet, you have a big storm coming 😼😼

she rapped with hongjoong before he joined changbin, then rejoined the performance to rap with chan!!

aussie line stans are well fed ✨✨

girlie was collecting everyone in the audience 😼

pls but ateez was so proud of her bc they knew how stressed she was about this performance 😭😭😭

she was so relieved when mayfly won that she teared up before being pulled into the group hug :(((

“i’m so relieved by the results,” juliet says to the cameras during their backstage interview, the other members in the rap unit nodding in agreement. “we all had a lot of fun preparing for this performance, and i’m just really proud of us.”

“wait,” minhyuk says, tone laced with concern, “are you tearing up? why? we did well!”

hongjoong, sitting in the back row, reaches forward to pat juliet on the shoulder comfortingly as she goes silent to suppress the tears. “she was really stressed preparing for this performance, so she’s a bit overwhelmed right now,” he explains for her.

juliet inhales deeply before saying, “because our unit has so many great rappers, i felt burdened because i was scared that my rapping wouldn’t be up to par with everyone else’s. but everyone was so encouraging and kind, and it really helped me push through the pressure, so i’m very thankful.”

“ey, you did so well,” jisung says enthusiastically. “we never worried about your performance!”

now that their rap unit finished performing she could sit back and enjoy the other performances!!

she was mesmerised by it’s one’s dance unit bc their performance was so beautiful

she said :OOOOOO

then came mayfly’s dance unit!!!!

“MAYFLY LET’S GOOOOOOOO”

pls she was their biggest hypewoman 😭😭😭😭

literally screamed during san and felix’s part

then when wooyoung and felix did the stunt????

she lost her SHIT

the way mnet cut from chan’s worried “felix?” to juliet’s “FELIXXXXXX :D” 😭

“YEAHHHHHHHHH MAYFLYYYYY!!!!”

pls she was so so proud 😭😭😭😭😭😭

in conclusion mayfly are besties now ❤️❤️

— fan reactions;

a/n: hello is everyone okay because I AM NOT 💔💔 all the stages from today were so so good and i’m so proud of all the units 🤧🤧💗 i NEED the studio versions of all the songs from today <//3 (and from round 2 too 😭) also lemme know if you’d like to see the full version of jisung and juliet’s 120 sec interview!! 😋 (though i’m prolly gonna write it anyways whdjwhs) your feedback and support means a lot to me so tysm!! 🥺❤️

[danowsawawrites]

'The Scales That Bind’ - A Breath of the Wild Fanfiction

Chapter 2: Give & Take

As the wagon wheeled along the magnificent bridge that crossed atop the mighty waterfalls of Zorana, Lall made sure to keep his head down and his eyes up, still skeptical of this place and its people. He turned to his cousin, whose body was shivering worriedly as he pushed himself tight against the back of his seat, eyes wide open, clutching the one invoice they had left to his chest as though he were deathly afraid. Lall's lips curled up humorously as he peered over the edge of the bridge, shaking his head with bemusement.

"You're never supposed to look down!" Lall grinned.

Jarrol turned his head toward him slowly, one wrong move sure to send him to his demise, "E-Easy for you to say, c-cousin! You kn-know I'm not one for adven-ture!"

"What adventure?" Lall shook his head dismissively, "We're just going from point A to B, on business no less. Rather boring if you ask me."

Having never left his small village along the plains of Hyrule, nor his job as a apothecary, Jarrol was nonetheless shaken by the foreign feeling of being high above seemingly bottomless pits of roaring waters, his cousins assurances doing little to calm him. He'd always been far more comfortable at a desk than out in the wilderness, where there were troubles that elixirs could not mend.

"Still," Lall grimly muttered, "I'd keep an eye out."

He checked his bodyguard, making sure he wasn't about to be subjected to some malice, though Link merely continued walking, almost as if not hearing the two of them at all. Lall's lips curled downward as he leaned back into place, shaking his head as he started understanding, perhaps, this bodyguard's intentions in coming along.

"Ohhhhh…" Jarrol moaned sickly, wavering queezily as his squinted eyes peered up toward the heavens, noticing the dull sky above, "They're even content with living beneath all these mountains- they hope to steal the sun away from me as well…"

He shivered as he returned his attention to the bridge ahead of them, his eyes shooting open as a small, blue-bodied creature scampered their way, Jarrol's body instinctively falling against the back of his seat as though having been confronted with a wild boar. The Zora child's feet sent a rhythmic pitter-patter into the air as he slowed his run, his eyes widening as well at the sight of strangers. He slowed to a walk, with only his head raising to follow the eyes of the human watching him, the Zora's mouth gaping open in awe of the sight, despite the Hylian's perceived fright.

In a split second, the Zora child grinned before raising his arms and ejecting a childishly loud, "Rawr!"

"AH!" Jarrol shouted, jumping back against his cousin, who only burst into laughter at the sight.

The child snickered before breaking into a run once again, skittering along the bridge back toward the mainland where the wagon had previously come from, Jarrol sliding back into his seat as he clutched his chest, breathing deeply, "Was it your sister's intention to have me killed?!"

Lall chuckled heartily, "One can't know such things, dear cousin. Please, though; if you might embarrass us once we arrive, cover yourself with a shawl or something- we're more or less representing Hylia itself with how little these people interact outside their borders. If they think we all scare as easily as you, who knows what might come of it."

"Oh, yeah," Jarrol nodded sarcastically, wrapping himself in the shawl beside him anyway, "The creatures who live hidden from the sun most certainly want our lands. You know how much of my business comes from shipping out that jelly Zora's use to cover themselves with? I have no financial reason to want people ill, that's for sure."

Lall threw his head over his shoulder, examining their wagon-load of supplies, "You didn't happen to bring any with us, did you?"

"One or two cartons," Jarrol explained, "I figured I might could sell some while we were here. Why?"

Lall chuckled, "Just on the off chance we're bartering for our lives, it'd be nice to have stock of something they'd want."

Jarrol buried his face beneath the shawl so as to hide his expression, though Lall smirked at what he could still see of his cousin's shaking head, "You're the worst, cousin…"

Turning to his bodyguard, Lall spoke up, "It's all in fun, good sir, I assure you."

Link did little more than nod.

"Well, we're coming up on the main landing of Zora's Domain," Lall explained, reaching down for the invoice that remained desperately clutched within his cousin's hand, "You said you'd done this before?"

"Yes," Link answered, distantly, "They know me well here."

Lall nodded, "Alright, I'll hold you to that, then. I apologize if I'm unfamiliar with their customs."

Link turned a blank face up toward him, "Just don't stare too long and you'll do just fine. They aren't able to wear much clothing because of their skin, so they're wary of outsiders doing such things."

"I didn't- Ah, that explains earlier," Lall confirmed, stroking his light beard.

Link's face remained unchanged, "They'd do much worse than me."

As he finished, Link's gait increased as he approached the guards who'd already been alerted to their guest's appearance. Lall smoothed out the invoice before yanking at his horse's reins, slowing them to a stop as Link and the guard approached him, Lall catching only the latter part of their conversation.

"-and I can leave them in your care?" Link finished.

The Zoran guard nodded, though Lall spoke up, "H-Hey! I thought I hired you to-"

"You didn't hire me," Link muttered, interrupting him, before turning to leave further into the Domain, "Tovar here will ensure your safety."

Lall went slightly pale at the mention of the tall Zoran guard who nodded at being mentioned, "Okay, well- Here's the invoice. The King wanted to make sure you were all well considered when it came to this last harvest- such a major surplus that hadn't been seen in years, apparently."

Tovar nodded as he ran his eyes down the list, "Alright. and what's that contraption beside you?"

Lall turned to find his cousin, still hidden, shaking up a storm as he sat there.

"It looks like it's about to explode or something…" Tovar muttered suspiciously, leaving Lall to frown unhappily.

He reached an arm around his cousin's shoulders and pulled him against him, "Not at all- this is Jarrol, my cousin! He's just, uh… Well, he's considerately placed himself beneath this fabric here, it seems."

"Uh huh," Tovar nodded slowly, "You won't take offence if I should keep an eye on you, correct?"

"Not at all!" Lall exclaimed, "Your home, your rules."

Tovar gave a final nod before turning back, waving the wagon along as Lall slapped at his horses, signaling them to move along, hearing Tovar's voice above the clopping of hooves atop the pristine platform they trailed upon, "Good to see you've arrived in due time. My liege has prepared a return shipment of the finest sea life for you to return with- I'd hate for it to go bad on your way back."

"O-Oh," Lall replied, unsurely, "Not- Not at all; I'd hate for that as well…"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Atop one of the Domain's sleekly ascendant pathways, two crimson legs dangled above the rest of this place, gently rocking back and forth, both pairs of toes daintily pulling in and out in a rhythmic sort of pattern, in time with the gently high humming from above where Lady Mipha's head swayed, side to side, her eyes listlessly staring down at the book in her hands. She had a pencil cupped between the book and her hand, mulling around words in her mind as she hummed musically to herself, recalling a tune her mother would often sing when she'd been taken to the peaks of Zorana to bathe in the sun, an activity that would often render her sleepily lazy as she curled up atop one of the rocks she'd decided to warm herself in. Her mother would stay by her side, keeping watch, and lulling her child through endless dreams.

Mipha would often hum this tune at times of distress or depression, often using it as a means to calm herself, quelling much anything that found her heart in need of comfort or assurance. In this case, her birthday was barely days away, yet there were two people absent from the festivities that would soon take hold of the Domain. It might not have been her first birthday without her mother, yet it still tugged on her heart whenever any big event would take place- her mother was often the fairest and most grand of all the Zora, and her absence was sorely noticed by all, particularly her family.

She pulled her pencil to the page, her lips pulling to one side in bitterness as she finished her thought, "…at least my dearest brother hasn't known this sorrow."

Sighing gently, she closed her diary, putting it off to one side as she reached her arms behind her, reclining slightly as she stared up toward Polymus Mountain, thinking of her younger days that seemed so far away now. Inevitably, those memories would nearly always include the other person whose absence she greatly missed- that of the warrior boy, Link, she'd first admired as a child and had grown to love as he'd grown older.

Her lips curled upward in a gently mischievous grin as she recalled the days before that first arrival of his where she'd fallen in love with him. She was presumed to be wedded to a rather prestigious Zora, and although she hadn't many qualms about this arrangement, she recalled the rationale that tortured her in those days before she saw that Hylian again.

"If he's taller than me this time…" she mused to herself, laughing as light as a Princess might be expected to sound in politeness, "…only then will I allow my heart to be his."

Of course, as soon as she'd found out about this particular development, she hastily, yet delicately, removed herself from her original suitor; though, to be in love with a Hylian, while not principle frowned upon, it was all but unheard of when it came to Zoran royalty. The two would go on to be perceived as good, strong friends, yet behind the scenes, the two had grown far closer.

It was due to this that Mipha's heart fell this day, nearing her birthday without her dear knight. That grin from earlier dissolved, following her eyes' lead as her brow furrowed in sadness, thinking of Link with a wistful heart.

She turned to reach for her diary, her heart nearly pouring sadly from within her, though her hand was met with nothing but the metallic sheen of the Domain's staging, her head slightly turning to allow her eyes a chance to find her book, though in a split second, they jumped up toward the man standing nearby, leaning against one of the platform's spires with his hands in his pockets, a knowing smile shown beneath his golden hair.

"I wouldn't let your height dictate my love for you," Link spoke, shrugging boyishly, referring to the gentle words that had managed to leave Mipha's lips just moments earlier.

Her eyes broke open with a blinding speed as she hopped onto her feet, leaping across the platform to eliminate their distance, the two of them embracing the other tightly, with Mipha's adoration breaking free of her throat, "Link! You made it!"

"Of course I did," he smiled, running his arm up and down her sleek back, "I just needed a reason to get away from my King's direction- he's been pretty strict about getting everybody ready and willing after that Akkalan thing. I caught wind of a shipment coming this way, so I made myself its bodyguard, and here I am, right on time."

Mipha's head pulled away, though their arms remained wrapped around one another, "A shipment? Will you be here for three days?"

Shrugging, Link answered, "I'll come up with something to stall for time. They don't seem like two guys who'll shy away from a festival, so maybe they'll just hang around. I'll give your father my word of their trustworthiness."

Content with his explanation, Mipha rushed to bury her face into the crick of his shoulder once again, too hasty to catch her head brushing against Link's neck, causing his body to shiver as his knees dipped, his head falling against her as he spoke up through a ticklish gasp of chuckles, "Ah, cold as always."

Shocked, Mipha pulled away, though Link's arms prevented her from doing so, her face quickly opening in fright, "S-Sorry! I didn't mean to-!"

"It's fine, it's fine," Link assured, pulling her closer, "I was just surprised, is all. It hasn't stopped us from holding one another before, has it?"

Mipha frowned, "Someone might think you'd get smart and find somebody who conflicts less with your biology."

Link's head fell closer to her's, their eyes meeting as he spoke, "You have a heart, just like me. That's all I need to know. That, and I know you can handle polearms better than anybody in this world; I know you can protect yourself. What makes you think I would have continued coming here if not for-"

As he spoke, Mipha's face had slowly turned and pressed itself against his chest, her grip around him tightening at his attempts at flattery. Link paused and merely held her, silently, continuing to rub her back with his arm, his thumb zig-zagging along her side as it went. A gently hum escaped Mipha as she remained that way, Link's warmth fully encompassing her in this way, her body readily accepting his offer.

"I love your warmth…" she murmured almost sleepily, "I missed it so much."

Link could only smile, "I kind of missed sharing it, to be honest."

Her eyes opened into narrow slits, peering off into the distance as she now pressed her cheek into his chest, "It's not as warm as the sun, but…it's different. Something you can't get from any Zora."

With nothing in the way of a reply to such a statement, all Link could offer was a quick kiss atop her sleek head, simply allowing her to take from him the warmth he was all too ready to share with her. It was something in the way of the physical that the two could partake in, and as such, it was something they both, especially Mipha, enjoyed.

[tenacious-scripturient]

a run-down of / my thoughts on the novel ‘trade secrets’

so! i’ve recently finished this beautifully written novel by @bettsican​, and am anxiously anticipating for the second book in the trilogy! (seriously, give it a read. it’s a great lgbtq+ thriller and mystery story, i promise you’ll love it!! you can find trade secrets in many places, including amazon, where it’s only $6)

as i was reading it, i noted down all the thoughts i had. it was fun, interesting, and kept me on the edge of my seat!

oh, and spoiler warning, of course.

Chapter One

okay. this is interesting. why are they in paris? or rather, why are they NOT in paris?

2080. damn.

who is cooper hall and why is he important i want to knowwwwwwww

Chapter Two

HOLY FUCK

CHAPTER ONE WAS A PROLOGUE

OKAY IF I DIDNT NEED TO BEFORE I HAVE TO READ IT NOW

-ahem- anyway

nate literally everything you think of has to relate to smoking, doesnt it?

clyde you absolutely bitch raccoon

im sort of piecing together what’s happening here? either way this is a SUPER interesting concept.

i love the idea of every word being important

nate look at you being a nice guy. testing the CAPS before giving them to ur clients

or maybe it’s just good business

but whatever

okay, so credits are money in this world. but how do people get them? obviously there’s what nate’s doing but what’s the legal way to get them? ill probably find out soon

if it wasnt explicitly said by betty that nate ends up with another guy (i forget his name. cooper?) i would have thought audry was the romantic interest

audry you loving caring hypocrite

i feel like she’s gonna be one of my favourite characters

who is this young man that dares disturb nate’s slumber

cooper? cooper.

Chapter Three

nate get up

u turtle get up and hurry down the stairs

or—okay you can fall into that drywall that works too

ohhhhh so nate is a detective. that’s interesting

i also love this idea of keeping secrets (haha trade secrets)

dude are you sure that your embarrassing entrance wasn’t the ONLY reason you blushed? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIG—

nate ur spending an awful lot of time looking at his features you funky little bisexual

oh damn ur smarter than u seem, just watching him take a single breath and you’re already making connections. i guess that’s why he’s a detective

im gonna assume this is cooper, even tho it never explicitly says so

i feel like we aren’t gonna get his name for a while, bc clients and whatnot and not getting attached

Chapter Four

NATE WEARS GLASSES???????

that’s kind of cute

im lowkey gay rn

anyway

NATE CALLED HIM SWEET-FACED AND PRETTY-FACED O K A Y

oh he has curly brown hair

and oh the glasses aren’t real glasses. oh. the use is actually pretty cool!

so from what im gathering civilians are people who don’t live in sanctuaries, and lemnis are people who do?

cooper sweetie why do u need so much money what have u done

nate’s pretty clever

HAH I WAS RIGHT WE AREN’T GONNA GET HIS NAME FOR A WHILE

well that’s that i guess

Chapter Five

he’s so timid awh

hehe he’s on nate’s bed

sorry

goddammit man calm down or else you’re gonna get everyone in a 5-mile radius around you arrested

wait…. zero-credit balance?? didn’t he just have a few hundred thousand credits???

OH THIS IS A FAKE PROFILE HE MADE

so cooper isn’t his real name either

oh

Chapter Six

oh we’re back to 2080

oh they’re back in the apartment??

it was obvious before but at this point it’s confirmed that they’re going to be doing some travelling together or something

Chapter Seven

this is getting really interesting i dont wanna stop reading and type everything that comes to mind

these are gonna be shorter now hehe

“i’d been a petri dish of mixed emotions and wild chemical changes for half the day” I LOVE THAT METAPHOR LMFAO

what happened with nate’s mom

i want to know

my prediction: she wanted him to either change up or completely remove the chip bc she did something horrible? or maybe she just wanted to leave idk im bad at predictions

either way it said she was crazy

o h

that’s why he’s terrified of cutting the chip

poor nate

Chapter Eight

oh this is strangely intimate

very intimate

i feel that, because cooper has such high pain tolerance (or doesn’t show pain), he has some backstory for it

Chapter Nine

lmao nate just went off didnt he

THEIR FLIRTING IS CUTE FHJKJDLSKAJDKLSJAK

also is being lgbtq+ widely accepted as the norm in this setting? bc nate considered cooper to be flirting with him

ughhhh it’s so good so far, from the character interactions to the suspense, especially in this chapter

Chapter Ten

rude cooper is rude, rude nate is even more rude

F E D O R A

“coop”

Chapter Eleven

aw i love jimmy already—

WHAT THE FUCK COOPER

EXCUSE ME

JIMMY

WHAT

HOW COULD YOU

goddammit

what the fuck is cooper hiding

cooper oh my god

you

you’re playing a dangerous game, mate

are you really that heartless

“deceptively innocent eyes” you got that right

this chapter hurted

thanks a lot jess

Chapter Twelve

“like a weeping wound on the canvas of my home” this has got to be one of my favourite similes ever omg

the way nate’s describing cooper makes my heart hurt awh

i feel like butterflies have some sort of symbolism

maybe being ugly on the outside and beautiful on the inside, or vice versa? the vice versa was basically cooper lol

aye we finally get to meet audry!!

PEANUT BUTTER AND TRICYCLE I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THAT

i love audry omg

IT’S NATE’S BIRTHDAY?? HAPPY BIRTHDAY YA SMOKEY CONMAN

“bright eyes” is the cutest nickname ever

Chapter Thirteen

oh we’re back to 2080

wait what they’re trapped together

is this story gonna have a sad ending

please no

Chapter Fourteen

OH IT’S THE LINE ON THE COVER

i like that

nate’s back to where he left cooper

also if it wasn’t obvious before, it’s definitely obvious now that nate and cooper or gonna find each other again. hm. not sure how i feel about that

kind of pissed at cooper but also we need him for the story to progress

O H

COOPER IM ONLY KIND OF PISSED AT YOU NOW

IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

NATE IVE SAID IT BEFORE BUT YOU’RE PRETTY CLEVER

also who is ‘her’?

COOPER WANTS TO BECOME A?? LEMNIS?? GODDAMMIT MAN

I CAN FEEL THE PRESSURE RISING

nate’s in danger

wow this chapter is

a lot

i need a break

-cue a break-

Chapter Fifteen

i’m back

eisley is a cool last name

oh wait so even people outside of sanctuaries can become a lemniscate

i’m still not 100% sure what a lemniscate is

it’s so ironic elijah’s last name is king, but i assume you did that on purpose. i also like the slight nod to royalty by his first name

OH

COOPER’S BACK

why hello there

Chapter Sixteen

they’re

competing

to become a lemniscate

and one of them dies

do they fight back?? is that why they end up in prison??? so many thoughts are going through my head right now

nate, your fantasy about becoming a lemniscate is surprisingly dark. i’m totally down for it

Chapter Seventeen

oh wait so joshua is cooper’s blackmailer?? Interesting that it’s a lemniscate

i keep forgetting nate is wearing glasses

cooper, my dude, calm the fuck down. you’re gonna get yourself and nate killed

it’s the return of soft™ nate

Chapter Eighteen

oh there’s another one

oh this is very ominous i don’t like

Chapter Nineteen – Twenty-One

okay i was eating while i read so i couldn’t type here but just know that these chapters were really really good

Chapter Twenty-Two

wait fuck what’s happening this is all happening so fast

cooper brought out his gun,,,, it’s aimed at ivonne,,,,,,, they’re walking,,,

OH IT WAS A FAKE KIDNAPPING

nice

i like ivonne a lot

Chapter Twenty-Three

the entire story just changed course

this isn’t just about cooper and nate anymore, it’s about a corrupt government

NATE AND COOPER ARE HOLDING HANDS AS THEY RUN THROUGH THE BARRIER THAT’S SO ROMANTIC

also the line “only the dead are ever truly free” is beautiful

THAT’S WHERE PARIS COMES IN

THEY ALL GO TO FRANCE DON’T THEY

I’m so curious to find out where this story is going

Chapter Twenty-Four

this is doin me a confusion

but tbh these hints/ visions of the future, if you could call them that, are giving just enough information to keep me super interested. props to you

Chapter Twenty-Five

AUDRY STOP TEASING NATE

just joking keep doing it, this might actually get their relationship somewhere

ivonne is definitely my favourite character so far. she reminds a little of melia from xenoblade chronicles, in that they’re both ‘royalty’ that rebel. also they’re badass and smart

oh fuck the brother is here

okay thank god he’s not an asshole

oh god things are happening again

Chapter Twenty-Six

nate stop ogling at cooper when you’re in a life-or-death situation

holy shit the lemniscate are messed up

this crew is pretty great, it sucks that it’s almost the end of the book

WAIT I FORGOT THERE’S A SECOND COMING SOON HECK YEAH

anyway

YES COOPER PULL THROUGH

awwww yiss

Chapter Twenty-Seven

oh

oh

O H

oh my god i ship them so hard

THEY KISSED

THIS IS SO STEAMY

this chapter was art thank you so much for this

Chapter Twenty-Eight

AHAHAH AUDRY

once again, i’d like to state how much i love her

oh the tension just grew twentyfold

this is… great

oh god nate what are you planning, you just got together with cooper and now you want to leave him?

Chapter Twenty-Nine

what’s with all the dancing?

Chapter Thirty

oh god the description

so he’s going around and giving people credits, all the while confessing things that would help the lemniscate track him down. i assume this means he’s going to die, but why?

just what are you planning?

oh we’re back to clyde, the guy who started it all. it feels full circle

Chapter Thirty-One

OH

HE’S MAKING HIS CHIP SHOW THAT HE’S DEAD

that’s much smarter

FUCK

NATE YOU IDIOT—COOPER’S REAL NAME

SHIT NOW KING IS HERE

everything’s going downhill now isn’t it

Chapter Thirty-Two

wait that took an even darker turn

there’s so much happening right now i can’thandlethis

cooper and nate are couple goals

Chapter Thirty-Three

king isn’t as horrible as i thought

still horrible, but not a monster

NEVER MIND YOU’RE A FUCKING MONSTER WHAT IS THIS BS

cooper

actually

shot

nate

Chapter Thirty-Four

OH MY GOD

WHAT

THIS IS HOW YOU END IT

I CAN’T

HOW DARE YOU

NO

NO

NO

NO

i need the next book

like right now

what the hell

Final Thoughts

okay so this book was SO good, and so well written. like damn

aside from that horrible ending how could you do this to me

i’m joking, it was an incredible and emotional ending, i loved it and hated it at the same time

it very rarely felt static, and especially in the first half, there was a good mix of action and backstory/description. it was never boring

the story is just,,, so unique. i seriously haven’t read anything like it, EVER

the world-building?? Is?? so vast?? and insane??

the increasing tension and speed as the story progressed is perfect, i felt my heart beating faster the more i read

anyway that’s all from me

this book was amazing i cannot wait for the next

[nutslovesdolts]

Greek Freckles (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATE!!!!)

*context... wait... i never follow this anyways hahaha, basically just a fluffy date ((and maybe some... other stuff?)) so yeah enjoy*

Pyrrah: That movie was Wonderful!

Ilia: Yeah... *she stared at the absolutely stunning and muscular red haired woman standing before her, it was 2 years ago she had (with Blake’s help) gathered the courage to finally to go talk to her, after a while she had really built up the courage to ask her out, you can’t imagine how surprised she was when Pyrrah actually said YES! these last years had been magic... it was almost too good, Ilia found herself continuously asking herself if she was even worth it, if she was good enough...*

Pyrrah: ... Ilia? are you ok?

Ilia: hmm? *she blushed pink for a moment realizing she had spent a literal minute just staring at Pyrrah without saying anything* Oh yeah! sorry I was just... uh... admiring the, view? *she said rather sheepishly*

Pyrrah: *she let out a long laugh at the shorter girls sheer adorableness, she fell HARD the first time she had met Ilia, and her love for her never had faltered. she was so cute, but also so troubled, Ilia definitely needed someone in her life and she was more then happy to be that someone* *she pulled Ilia into a bug hug swaying side to side* You know you are so adorable when you change colors, it makes me want to hug you forever!

Ilia: hehe, I wouldn’t be too upset if that were to happen *she said turning red from being so close to the taller woman's chest* wanna go back to the hotel?

Pyrrah: *moving back* yes, lets

.............................

Clerk: Sorry Mrs. Nikos rules are rules, no Faunus in the hotel, we didn’t know your... friend there was one of those things, or we never would have let her in here

Pyrrah: ILIA, is my Girlfriend thank you very much, also WHAT is wrong with you! YOU- *the arguing continued with Pyrrah getting extremely heated, not noticing Ilia cowering behind her*

Ilia: *were this 2 and a half years ago, she would have beat up the clerk and burnt this whole place to the ground... but not any more... not with Pyrrah... this wasin’t the first time something like this had happened... nor would it be the last, **her skin tone gradually got darker with her thoughts** p..pyrrah?

Pyrrah: I JUST WANTED A NICE AFTERNOON FOR ONCE TO NOT BE RUINED BY SOME RACIST LITTLE-

Ilia: ... *that was all she needed to hear... she ruined the afternoon... just by exsisting... she really was just a burden to Pyrrah, she couldn’t think straight, she just started running...

Pyrrah: ILIA WAIT.... *she started running after her* AND ILL BE BACK FOR YOU! *she said gesturing to the now petrified clerk* 

..........................

Ilia: *she was hiding in the park... so childish... but there wasin’t much else around... she missed home, she missed being around people who accepted her even if she didn’t deserve it...* *she just began to cry...*

Pyrrah: ILIA!, ILIA?... IIIIIILLLLLIIIIIAAAAA! *she stopped for a second after hearing a faint noise, she had gone to the nearby park first, knowing full well that would be the most likely for her girlfriend to run to first, but not before making a phone call to someone very special. she followed the sound before finding the girl, huddled next to a tree* *she immediately ran over and wrapped herself around the smaller girl, cradling her and whispering softly to her*

Ilia: IM...i...I’m sorry Pyr.... I.... I make everything worse

Pyrrah, Ilia... *she started kissing her cheek* you have never done anything but make things better for me

Ilia: b.. but... I... ruined the day...I-

Pyrrah: Ruined the day? HAHAHAHA *she hugged the girl tighter* Ilia, without you there wouldn’t have BEEN a day, you are the reason I am so happy all the time, you are my light

Ilia: B...but I

Pyrrah: shhhh, It’s ok, lets go back to the hotel, ok?

Ilia *tearing up again* I can’t... they don’t want me there

Pyrrah; Oh I think they may have had a change of heart

Ilia: ??

..............................

Hotel owner: What do you mean The Schnee’s BOUGHT my hotel? and they wont let me run it!? THIS IS MY HOTEL AND... 

Worker: sorry sir, Orders are orders, you have ten minutes to vacate the premises with any and all anti Faunus propaganda and biased workers 

former Owner: *seeing Pyrrah and Ilia walking back in* Ohhhhh no, NOT YOU TWO *he lunged at them*

Pyrrah and Ilia: *punch him square in the face simultaneously knocking out some teeth* F%$K OFF *they both look at eachother and giggle before heading over to the counter

clerk: hello again and welcome, it seems you both have the penthouse reserved for whenever you visit

Pyrrah: your not leaving with the rest of the ant Faunus?

clerk: my wife is a spider faunus, I just couldn’t tell my boss, you two saved my butt, have a great night!

*they enter the elevator*

Ilia: Pyrrah... thank you

Pyrrah: I know this may not be the best time... *elevator starts going up* but there was something I had planned to do today before all this happened... and seeing as the events that have passed I only think it right to go through with my plans

Ilia: hmm? what else did you have planned?

Pyrrah: Ilia, you are my light, the only thing that keeps me going, you are as beautiful as the sun and moon and as dear to me as my own soul *goes down on one knee* Ilia... Will you make me the happie-

Ilia: *faints*

Pyrrah: ... ... ... oh

........................

Ilia: uuuggh my head... where *she looked up to see Pyrrah smiling down at her on the couch* Pyr? where

Pyrrah: you passed out

Ilia: haha I had one crazy dream haha, we beat up some old racist dude and you got Weiss to buy a hotel, Oh and you proposed to me in an elevator hahahaha... ha...h.. wait

Pyrrah: so what do you say?... will you Marry me?

Ilia: *cycling through colors faster then either had ever seen* Pyr *stops ad stairs directly into Pyrrahs eyes* YES *she jump tacked PYrrah into a hug and began making out with her intensly, wrapping her legs around her waste*

Pyrrah: what now?

Ilia: *with stars in her eyes* bedroom, now, please?

Pyrrah: you got it

........................ *7 hours later*

Ilia: ugh.... uh.... Pyr... ... 

Pyrrah: yes Ilia?

Ilia: ugh... we shouldn’t have gone so hard on both our first times... I cant feel my ANYTHING heh...

Pyrrah: Think of it as... a more exciting training?

Ilia:... god I love you Pyr

Pyrrah: and I you Ilia

...........................................

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @technicallyblakebelladonna I’m dead tired and its been a LOOOOOONNNGGG day so sorry if it’s not long (I don’t read my own stuff hehe) ... wait... time zones IT MAY NOT BE YOUR BIRTHDAY ANYMORE I GOTTA POST IT NOW!!!!!!!, but yeah hope you like it, this is honestly adorable

Yeah as always have a great day/Night all

[hazzamylouworld-blog]

Care For You

When he eats too much.. "Louis...I really don't think this is a good idea.." "Relax Haz. I'll be fine. I've got to show Liam who's boss around here." Harry rolls his eyes. "And eating your weight in food is going to prove that?" Louis nods, popping his knuckles "That's really mature."  Harry mumbles, shaking his head as the waitress brings out two hamburgers nearly the size of Harry's head. The Burger Challenge, its called. The name isn't even good, Harry's brain supplies. The whole point of the challenge is dumb but the least they could do is put a cool name on it. Louis and Liam are always competing in someway or another ever since the X-Factor. Even now, as the boys embark on their first world tour, the two still find something to compete over. Harry has known Louis for quite some time and loved him for nearly the same amount of time so he really should be quite used to Louis' antics. Still, he has to at least TRY to be the voice of reason. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn't? "Alright you two. You know the rules. You have one hour to finish the burger, the fries, and the drink. If you finish, you get a t shirt and your name on the wall of Burger Masters." Harry rolls his eyes at the cheesy name. Louis wins the competition. Liam gives up halfway through. And Louis is taunting him and bragging about his win until the van pulls back up to their hotel. Harry notices his drop in conversation far before the other boys and he gently nudges the boy. "Are you alright?" Louis bites his lip, placing a hand to his tummy. "I don't feel so hot, Haz." Harry frowns. "Lets get you inside. Maybe it's just from being in the cramped van." Louis nods and steps out of the car, keeping a steady hand on his bloated stomach. It gurgles and rolls beneath his hand and he bites his lip. He's never been ill away from home before. He wants his mum. She knows to give him peppermint tea and rub his tummy until he feels good again. Harry places a warm hand to his back and pushes him towards the elevator. "You're not looking too hot, Louis." Zayn says in his usual silly voice used to make Louis laugh. Louis shakes his head and swallows thickly, rubbing a hand into his stomach. "I don't feel very good..." "That's what you GET, Tommo. Don't feel much like taunting now, huh?" Liam asks, but his voice holds no malice. Louis shakes his head and closes his eyes, pushing up his tight top and placing his hands to his aching middle. The elevator feels like it takes ages to get to the boys rooms but it eventually makes it and Harry leads an uncomfortable Louis into their shared room. Louis falls to the bed closest to the door and groans, curling in on himself. "My stomach is killing me...." He moans, wrapping both arms around his belly. "Want some peppermint tea?" Harry hums. Louis' heart swells. Peppermint tea. "Y-yeah...that'd be great, actually." "Peppermint always settles my stomach." Harry says with a nod. Harry passes him a mug and settles in behind him, being the big spoon for once. Louis hums into the cup. "This tastes perfect, Hazza." Harry smiles. "I'm sorry your tummy hurts so bad." "I suppose you want to tell me 'I told you so' don't you?" Harry shakes his head. "I don't. Because I wish I wasn't right." "Ohhhhh I wish I would've listened to you. Ugh my stomach..." He moans, placing the mug on the table and pressing a fist to his poorly tummy. "Do you want me to rub your tummy?" "I love you.." Louis breathes out before he can catch himself. Silence falls onto the hotel room as Harry stares wide eyed at Louis, who's face is turning redder by the minute. "I mean..I...I um...I just...I just mean.." "I love you too." "You do?" Harry giggles, dimples popping from his cheeks. "I do." And Harry rubs his belly. He still ends up throwing up the entire burger from dinner but.. Harry still loves him anyway. And loads him up with more peppermint tea and tummy rubs. - When he has a migraine.. The Take Me Home tour is set to debut its first show tomorrow so therefore things are quite hectic for five teenage boys. They've had dress rehearsals, six interviews, two radio interviews, a soundcheck, and a photo shoot. All in one day. All in a matter of hours actually. Harry is shocked when he looks down at his phone and the time is only 1:30 in the afternoon. They've done so much in such little time. He's tired, exhausted really but the excitement for the show tomorrow keeps him smiling and entering into banter with the other three boys who feel the same. Which is probably why he doesn't notice that Louis isn't beside him or talking to the other boys until they reach the van. Harry looks beside him and crinkles his brow in confusion, turning to his other side. "Where's Louis?" He asks the group. They shrugs. "You're the one who always keeps up with him." Liam shrugs with a smile. "He's probably stolen another golf cart." Niall says with a laugh. Harry looks behind him and sees his boyfriend's quiff headed towards him at a rather slow pace. He finally does make it over and the other boys poke fun at him for being so slow. Louis only gives them a small smile and a short laugh. Harry knows something is wrong immediately but he also knows that Louis will come to him when he's ready. When he really needs him. The banter continues in the car, three rowdy boys making the volume nearly as loud as their concert should be tonight. Louis shutters slightly and closes his eyes, taking a deep shaky breath. Zayn's brow furrows at the sight of his best mate and he places a hand to his knee. "You alright, Louis?" He says with a small frown. Louis takes a shuddering breath and rubs at his thighs anxiously. "I've got a headache..." He breathes softly that the boys barely hear him at all. Harry frowns hard. "Oh love...come here.." He tugs on Louis' arm but Louis doesn't move, only lies his head back on the seat and presses a hand to Harry's thigh. Harry gives his shoulder a comforting rub and the rest of the boys make sure to keep their voices down. "Do you want an Advil? I've got some in my pocket. Figured I'd be the one with a headache.." Harry whispers softly in Louis' ear. Even the soft voice makes Louis' cringe in pain as his head pounds viscously inside of his skull. He furrows his brow and swallows hard, nodding ever so slightly. Harry fishes it out of his pocket and slips it into Louis' shaky hand. "I've got some water." Niall offers in his usual cheery voice. Louis cringes and presses his fingers into his head. "Sorry.." Niall apologizes, voice softer this time. He passes Harry the bottle of water and Harry helps Louis take a small sip. "You don't want anymore?" Harry asks him, massaging his shoulder. Louis slightly shakes his head and places a hand to his stomach. "Oh love, it's messing with your stomach?" Louis gives a short nod. The van stops in front of their hotel room and the  other three boys step out quickly, rushing into the doors. Harry helps Louis out of the van and keeps a steady hand on his back as the boy walks slowly towards the door. The sun beams down on his face and when he steps into the lobby of the hotel, the lights are equally as bright. Harry curses under his breath and fishes out his sunglasses from his pocket, putting them over Louis' eyes. Louis shoots him a small smile and Harry puts both hands up to Louis' eyes, shielding the sides of them where light might jump through. It's an awkward and slow walk to the elevator but  they make it and Harry helps Louis inside. Louis' face crumples, once out of sight of other hotel patrons, and Harry frowns. "Oh Boo...it's really bad, huh?" Louis takes in a shaky breath and nods. "Come here, love.." Harry hums and pulls him to his chest. The elevator dings, making Louis cringe again, and Harry helps him out onto their floor. He holds onto him with one arm as the other finds his room key. He slides it into the door and it pops the lock open. Harry helps Louis slowly inside. Louis immediately falls to the bed and curls up with a gasp of pain. His hands go straight to the sides of his head as he massages his temples. "C-can you turn the lights off?" Louis rasps out quietly from the bed. "Of course, love." Harry quickly turns the lights off and sits down on the bed beside Louis. "Come on, Lou. Lets get you out of these clothes so you'll be a bit more comfortable." He takes off his shoes and Louis curls his legs up to himself. "Ok boo, we need to get that stuffy jacket off, ok?" Louis grunts quietly and Harry frowns. "I'm sorry, love. But you'll feel so much better with it off." Louis sits up with a painful gasp and Harry makes quick work of slipping his jacket off. Louis quickly lies back down and turns over on his belly, burying his head in his arms. "Do you need anything?" Louis doesn't answer. "Do you need some water?" Louis shakes his head slightly. "The fan on?" Another shake of his head. "A-" "Harry, please.." Louis whimpers slightly. Harry shuts his mouth and nods, even though Louis can't see him. He sits back on the bed and snuggles beneath the covers with a sigh. Louis slowly unfolds himself and wiggles until his head is on Harry's chest. Harry smiles and massages Louis' temple slightly. Louis sighs in relief and Harry smiles. Louis is asleep in mere minutes. - When he has food poisoning.. "Chinese?" "No, ew." Zayn calls, throwing a piece of wadded up paper at Liam's head. Liam rolls his eyes. They've just done their seventh show on the Where We Are Tour and every single one of them are starving but no one can seem to make a decision on what to eat. "How about Mexican?" Niall offers. "Absolutely not. Not with you on the bus." Louis says with a laugh. "Italian?" "We had that last week!" Harry whines. "Alright that's it. All of you can just starve. I don't know what you want to eat." Liam growls, crossing his arms. Harry laughs. "Bit of a baby, Payno." Louis taunts. "How about wings? I'm dying for some peri peri wings." "We're in the US, Niall. There's no Nandos here." Niall whimpers. "There's a wing place coming up on the right, though. Want me to stop?" Their bus driver asks. There are four shouts of yes and Liam rolls his eyes. "I name every type of food in the world and he gets it on his first try." All the boys order what they want, Louis' being the ever defiant one ordering a burger instead of wings like everyone else, and the driver picks up the food for them, bringing it back to the bus. The boys stay quiet for all of thirty minutes as they scarf their food down, leaving not one bite left. "That was perfect. Who wants to watch a movie?" Liam asks, standing up. Four lazy shouts of yeah hit his ears and he smiles, finally getting something right. He turns on a movie and all five boys get comfortable on the couch, limbs tangled and cuddled up all tight. Louis begins to feel a bit queasy and overheated halfway through the first film. He squirms and turns on his side but the queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach remains. He squirms again and pulls himself out of the pile of limbs he's under. "Where are you going, Tommo?" "The bathroom, is that alright with you, Liam?" Louis sasses, hand presses into his now aching middle. He's hoping the bathroom trip will have him feeling a bit better. He heads inside and tries going with no success. He groans as the sick feeling in his stomach grows and the ache spreads throughout his whole belly. He turns off the light after washing his hands and presses a hand to his stomach, rubbing it back and forth. "Babe?" Harry asks, seeing how pale the boy's face is, "Are you doing ok?" Louis sits on the chair beside the couch and rubs at his stomach again. "I feel sick to my stomach all of a sudden.." He takes a deep breath and grimaces. "Did you throw up?" Niall asks, watching him in concern. Louis shakes his head slightly, groaning when it only makes him feel more nauseous. "No....feels like I might though..." "Are you sick?" Harry asks, walking over to him and pressing a hand to his forehead, "You feel clammy..but not warm or anything.." Louis shakes his head. "I think...I think maybe my burger wasn't cooked right..I didn't feel sick before..." "Oh mate...that's the worst.." Niall says, remembering all his battles with food poisoning. Louis' in for a long night if he does have it, Niall knows that for certain. "Ugh...I don't want to throw up..." He moans, burying his face in his hands. "It feels better to have it out than in, Tommo. Take it from me." Niall says with a shake of his head. "Ugh..please don't say stuff like that right now...." Louis mumbles, taking another deep breath, "Fuck I feel so sick..." "Maybe your food just isn't settling. Just try and relax a bit, ok? I'll get you a ginger ail." Harry offers, walking into the kitchen area. "Mmmgh..." Louis moans, pressing both of his hands to the seat he's on. "Lou?" Louis breathes in through his nose and out of his mouth slowly, blocking the noises from around him. His stomach rolls and rumbles within him, grumbling out sickly. He burps sickly and presses a fist to his mouth. "Tommo..." Liam says, standing up. Louis dry heaves again and Harry rushes from the kitchen. Louis hops up from his seat and stumbles to the bathroom, crashing to his knees and vomiting up the food he's just consumed. Harry follows quickly behind him, rubbing his back and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Once he's finished (for the moment), Harry helps him get his toothbrush ready to brush his teeth, and steps out giving him some space. He makes quick work of pushing all three boys off the couch and prepares it for when Louis comes out again. "Did he get sick?" Zayn asks. Harry bites his lip hard and nods. "Oh yeah...it's food poisoning for sure." Niall wrinkles his nose. "Poor Tommo.." Louis stumbles out of the bathroom, arm wrapped around his stomach. "Come lie down, love." Harry coo's, standing up and helping him to the couch. Louis groans and lies down, curling up on himself. "You ok, Louis?" Niall asks him. Louis groans and shakes his head. "Feel shit.." Harry frowns. "You need to drink a bit, babe. Try this ginger-ale, it should settle your stomach a bit." Louis groans. "I don't think my stomach can handle anything right now, Haz.." "You need to drink something, Louis or you're going to get dehydrated." Louis groans again and holds out his hand miserably. Harry smiles and hands him the glass. "Small sips." Louis slowly sips on the soda and Harry sits down beside him, rubbing his back. Harry thinks he's asleep moments later until he groans miserably. "Louis?" "That ginger-ale isn't sitting well in my stomach..." He moans. Seconds later, he's stumbling to the loo again. Harry's there to rub his back and hum to him until he's finished. Once he's done, Harry helps him brush his teeth again and pulls a bucket out from beneath the sink, taking it with them to Louis' bunk. "Just in case." Harry hums, "Get some sleep, Boo." "Harry?" "Yeah love?" "Thanks." Harry shrugs. "I love you. No need to thank me, I just want you to feel better." "You make everything better." - When he has the flu.. Niall cackles as he sees Louis laid out miserably on the tour bus couch, coughing into his arm and groaning. "I told you to get your flu shot.." It's the middle of OTRA and Louis has been feeling a bit under the weather for a few days now, headache, a sore tummy, just overall tiredness and soreness, and today it hit its peak. He was sent hurling over the toilet just as the sun rose. Harry checked his fever and it was at 102.5. The doctor was called and Louis was given the diagnosis of the flu. And Niall has been taunting him for hours about being healthy because HE got the flu shot. It's not Louis' fault he's afraid of needles that don't print beautiful art on his body. "Shut up, Niall. I hate you." "Somebody's grumpy." Liam says with a smile, walking onto the bus. "I feel awful...Harry, make them stop being mean to me." Harry smiles and sits on the couch beside Louis. "Stop being mean to my baby. Can't you see he's sick?" Niall cackles and Louis throws a pillow at his head. "Ugh my stomach hurts. Harry, make my stomach quit hurting..." Louis pouts, pulling Harry's hand to his tummy. "I wish I could, love. Want some more medicine?" "And throw up again? No thanks. Your hand should do the trick." "Ok. I don't think I need to hear this." Niall says, pressing his hands to his ears. "To rub my stomach you bloody idiot." Louis growls before coughing into his arm again and groaning. "I'm dying, Harry. Please say good things about me at my funeral." Harry laughs. "Louis, you aren't DYING, love. You've just caught the flu." "But I can't BREATHE, Harry. My nose is blocked and my lungs HURT. What if I just stop breathing?" "Then we won't have to hear you talk so much." Liam says with a laugh. "HARRY.." "Liam, stop being mean to him. He's ILL." "Oh please Harry, you KNOW he's getting on your nerves too." Louis gasps and frowns. "Yes you are, love. But I still love you anyway." "Hmph. Well I hate all of you." Louis grumbles, turning towards the couch. "Oh come on, babe." "Hush, I have a headache." "Still want that tummy rub?" Louis hmphs again but turns over. "You can rub my tummy but you can't talk to me." Harry laughs. "I love you too, babe."

[fionatlux]

So maybe you’ve heard about this new pseudo-period drama, Still Star-Crossed, that’s a takeoff on Romeo and Juliet, and you’re wondering what it’s all about! It looks great: incredibly good-looking multiracial cast, stunning locations, just all-around gorgeousness. But the episodes are an hour long, and you’re not sure you want to invest. You wish someone would do a parody-dialogue recap? (I realize this is unlikely, since I feel like the long-form parody-dialogue recap died with LJ, but oh well.) You are in luck! I have decided to recap at least the first few episodes. The first one is a bit slow-going--it’s heavy on exposition and setup--but the show is highly entertaining, and by episode 3, it’s even funny on purpose. Check it out, and if you enjoy, watch the show! It airs on ABC on Saturday nights, and is available on Hulu the day after, I believe. Episode 4 airs this week!

I’ve also reviewed the book it’s based on here. Episode 2 recap is here.

EPISODE 1

In fair Verona where we lay our scene… Two houses, both alike in blah blah blah we know.

Some Gorgeous Cathedrally Interior

[We open with a clandestine, ill-advised wedding. Romeo and Juliet are delighted! Benvolio and Rosaline, accompanying their respective cousins, are… not.]

FRIAR LAURENCE: Look, I also have a bad feeling about this, but orders are orders.

[Wait, what?]

FRIAR LAURENCE: I mean, too many funerals, a wedding is a nice change, yay true love!

ROSALINE & BENVOLIO: *look concerned*

  A Deathbed, The Palace

[The elderly prince of Verona is dying. He has wonderful gravitas.]

THE PRINCE: Isabella, make sure that my law eliminating due process for accused murderers is instated. And keep your brother from doing anything stupid. Where is he, anyway?

ESCALUS: I’m here! I’m here! I raced the CGI zoom shot on horseback all the way from Venice!

THE PRINCE: Son, you must keep Montague and Capulet in line. Seriously, if you don’t, you’ll be next.

ESCALUS: It is painfully obvious that I am a sweet boy and in no way equipped to rule a city.

ISABELLA: It is also obvious that, in addition to having great fashion sense and magnificent eyebrows, I am politically savvy and ominously ambitious.

  Maison Montague

[CGI zoom! Here we see three BFFs returned home after, presumably, a night of bro times and possibly a secret wedding. They are met by their paterfamilias, who looks like the lovechild of Charles Boyle from Brooklyn Nine Nine and Lucius Malfoy. I immediately christen him Luciles Malfoyle.]

LUCILES MALFOYLE: Welcome back, Romeo, my beloved son! Hi, Mercutio! I made breakfast! BUT NOT FOR YOU, BENVOLIO. Delinquents who break off perfectly good engagements because “oh noes I don’t love her” DON’T DESERVE BREAKFAST.

BENVOLIO: O-okay. I’ll just be over here chewing on a large chunk of irony, then.

A MESSENGER: The Prince is dead! Escalus is in charge!

LUCILES MALFOYLE: I SMELL OPPORTUNITY!

LUCILES MALFOYLE: No, wait, that’s just the stink of bars and prostitutes. Go shower, B.

  Casa Capulet

[It’s Giles! Hi, Giles! He is having an Argument of Exposition with Lady Capulet, who looks like a Disney Evil Queen. This is about right, because Rosaline’s sister Livia looks like someone who gets ready in the morning with the help of bluebirds and a trio of singing mice.]

LIVIA: They’re totally going to let us go to the ball!

[Keep dreaming, Livia! A dream is a wish your heart makes!] 

GILES: They are our orphaned, impoverished nieces! I feel bad about making them be servants!

LADY CAPULET: They are YOUR nieces and I hate them.

LIVIA: Anyway, I need to go to the ball to meet a rich husband so that I can be happy and you can… join a nunnery? Seriously? I think you are overestimating the amount of free time a nun gets.

ROSALINE: Well, we’re about 200 years too early for Mary Wollstonecraft, so this is the best I can do.

LADY CAPULET: Although it pains me in my soul to say this… you can go to the ball.

LIVIA: YES!!!! No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true!

ROSALINE: I am not excited about going to the ball, and even less excited about meeting the prince, but I really love my baby sister.

 JULIET: Oh good, you’re all here. I have big news! I… can’t go to the ball because… uh… because…

ROSALINE: Perhaps you’re… really tired?

JULIET: Yes! That’s totally it! I am tired! Sick, even! KTHXBAI!

ROSALINE: Well, at least she has a nice view of the fireworks from her balcony.

[The fireworks are a metaphor. For orgasm. In case you missed it.]

  A Fancy Ball, The Palace

[I’m going to start interspersing this with more commentary, because parody dialogue takes a really long time to craft. The Capulets arrive at the ball! What are you two wearing? What are any of you wearing? What century even is it? Livia has puffed sleeves straight out of Anne of Green Gables’s wildest dreams, while Rosaline is rocking a cold shoulder. I know it’s trendy, but it kind of looks like she gave her sleeves to Livia. I don’t even know. Isabella's tiara is nice, though.]

[Montague is also here! The two families snipe at each other! Ooh, a zinger from Giles. Giles: 1, Luciles Malfoyle: 0.]

ISABELLA: Let me catch you up on the Capulet-Montague sitch. It’s bad. And Daddy said--

ESCALUS: Yeah, I know, no trials for murderers, summary execution, blah blah blah.

[Listen to your sister, Escalus, because if this goes anything like the book, pretty soon she's gonna be married off to Hot 1990s Denzel Washington from a different play entirely and then you won't have anybody to advise you on your incredibly stupid plans.] [Spoiler: It does not go anything like the book.]

 ISABELLA: I am so happy to see you, Rosaline!

ROSALINE: I am markedly less happy to see you.

ESCALUS: *heart eyes*

ROSALINE: You I will favor with a look of repressed longing.

[Hmmm. I smell backstory! I mean, I know the backstory, I’ve read the book, but still.]

 LIVIA: Somewhere in this crowd is my one true love. Ooh, and fire dancers!

ROSALINE: Is my sweet precious grown-up baby sister not the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen?

  Elsewhere at the Fancy Ball

BENVOLIO: OK, so I came up with an itinerary for tonight’s pub-and-brothel crawl—

[aw snotblossoms, it’s Tybalt!]

TYBALT: FIGHT ME, MONTAGUE SCUM!

[Romeo would rather not, but then Mercutio shows up and it is ON. Tybalt stabs Mercutio. Romeo stabs Tybalt. Benvolio is busy dueling some other guy, I don’t know.]

MERCUTIO: A plague on both your houses! Ask for me tomorrow; you shall find me a grave man. *dies*

[Romeo is devastated. Benvolio is extremely concerned. Me, I am just glad Mercutio was allowed to keep the pun.]

  The Courtyard, Casa Capulet

[The Capulet courtyard has much better shrubbery than the Montague courtyard. We’re talking topiary, hedge mazes, fishpond. It is GLORIOUS. Giles: 2, Luciles Malfoyle: 0.]

GILES: Yeah I kind of feel bad about how many people the feud has killed. It all started when my ancestor let one of his serfs save up money to buy his own flock, or something.

A VERY FANCY YOUNG MAN: I like money and power and I have a lot of both.

GILES: Count Paris, I have to tell you that I am unimpressed by your doublet-and-cape ensemble, magnificently upholstered though it is.

PARIS: Also my father is the prince of Mantua. Juliet will be well cared for there.

[They sound like they are discussing retirement arrangements for, like, a sick racehorse. It is not romantic, and Paris looks vaguely greasy to boot. Nevertheless—]

GILES: Sold!

  The Breakfast Room, Casa Capulet

[Juliet is not having a good morning.]

LADY CAPULET: Well, well, thou hast a careful father, child. Congratulations, you’re marrying Paris. He is handsome, rich, and exceptionally well dressed! Seriously, I am going to reupholster all our furniture in his doublet material.

ROSALINE: *drops dishes*

GILES: And Romeo has killed your cousin Tybalt, which means his life is forfeit.

JULIET & ROSALINE: Oh, crap.

  The Streets of Verona

ROMEO: *is on the lam*

  The Palace

ESCALUS: Romeo was just avenging Mercutio! That seems legit to me!

[He seems oblivious to the fact that this kind of thinking is what keeps feuds going in the first place.]

ISABELLA: Yeah, but he got blood all over our floor. The law says he dies! And the law means nothing if you don’t enforce it.

ESCALUS: I can’t afford to piss off Montague!

ISABELLA: This is the kind of thinking that leads to revolution! To heads on spikes, brother! OUR HEADS. ON SPIKES. Is that what you want? IS IT?

[Actually Isabella’s kind of thinking also leads to revolution, though she’s not wrong about the need to actually enforce laws. I’m a little concerned for the monarchy, here.]

  The Sewers of Verona

ROMEO: *is still on the lam*

  Juliet’s Room, Casa Capulet

JULIET: We can’t just let him die!

ROSALINE: …We could, though? It would solve a lot of problems, I’m just saying.

  Friar Laurence’s Workshop of Creepy Potions

FRIAR LAURENCE: Here is a fake-death potion. Don’t take more than one drop or it will be real-death potion.

JULIET: And you have fake-real-death potion lying around because…?

FRIAR LAURENCE: Don’t ask.

  Juliet’s Room, Casa Capulet

ROSALINE: Are you sure about this?

JULIET: Yep.

ROSALINE: Okay then. HELP! MY LADY JULIET IS DEAD!

[Ladies, this is a terrible plan. You don’t actually have a plan! You don’t even have a pla! The show didn’t give you one!]

  Some Tavern

BENVOLIO: *drinks*

FRIAR LAURENCE: B., where’s Romeo?

[Maybe he has a plan? Unfortunately, Benvolio doesn’t know where Romeo is.]

  The Capulet Tomb

[Sad Paris is sad. His doublet-and-cape ensemble, however, is still magnificent. Enter Romeo, fight fight fight, stabz, drinks, dies, Juliet awakens, drinks, dies. In this version, Romeo, not a churl, has left a friendly drop to help her after. They lie facing each other on the bier, their hands entwined, their heads close together on the pillows like sleeping children. It is actually really sad.]

ROSALINE [arriving juuuuust too late]: Ohhhhh, this is bad. *flees*

[Dramatic zoom on Paris! He suddenly awakens and, with the last of his strength, Googles something.]

PARIS: “How… to get… blood… out of upholstery…”

  Obligatory Period Drama Corset-Lacing Scene, Casa Capulet

[Evil Queen Lady Capulet and Rosaline are having a hostile heart-to-heart. It is abundantly clear that while Livia is living in a Disney Cinderella, Rosaline is stuck in the unhappy parts of Ever After.]

LADY CAPULET: Admire my generosity in letting you attend Juliet’s funeral! Are you not grateful? Don’t say I never did anything for you.

ROSALINE: No, really, what have you ever done for us? We wait on you hand and foot, and you hate us because you were in love with our father but you wanted a title so you married Giles instead, and our presence is a constant reminder of what you gave up!

LADY CAPULET: *backhands* Too much exposition!

 ROSALINE: I miss my parents. And Juliet.

ROSALINE: Conceal don’t feel, don’t let them know! Well, now Lady Capulet knows.

  Friar Laurence’s Cell of Dropped Bombshells

LUCILES MALFOYLE: I secretly encouraged my son to fall in love with Capulet’s daughter, and I paid you to marry them—

[WHAT?!]

LUCILES MALFOYLE:—and am I gonna get to lord it over Giles at state dinners now? Well, AM I?!?!

FRIAR LAURENCE: …no?

LUCILES MALFOYLE: And whose fault is that?

FRIAR LAURENCE: …mine?

LUCILES MALFOYLE: DAMN RIGHT IT IS.

[I give Luciles Malfoyle a point for sneakiness, but take it away again because it got people killed and he clearly did not plan for this contingency. Giles: 2, Luciles Malfoyle: 0.]

  The Double Funeral

ESCALUS: And so, I realize that Capulet and Montague are basically the two mafia families that run this city, but I really need you all to give it a rest.

ROSALINE & BENVOLIO: *look concerned*

ESCALUS: Look, Montague commissioned this solid gold statue of Juliet as a peace offering!

[Giles: 2, Luciles Malfoyle: 1]

GILES [sotto voce]: And as a gauche display of wealth! Montagues, so lacking in class, amirite?

[Giles: 3, Luciles Malfoyle: 1]

[Escalus dramatically unveils the statue. It has been scrawled with the word “HARLOT” in red letters—]

ME: Wrong show!

[—and the funeral dissolves into chaos.]

ESCALUS: Rosaline! I’ll save you! Here, hide with me in this incredibly beautiful candlelit room.

ROSALINE: You do the heart eyes extremely well, but I’ve got to find my sister. Rosaline out!

  Sibling Argument, The Palace

ISABELLA: Escalus, do something about all this civil brawling! 

ESCALUS: But Mantua! Padua! The Medici! The Papal states! You don’t understand because you’re a GIRL!

ISABELLA: They can't conquer Verona if there isn't any of Verona left! YOUR DAMN CITY IS ON FIRE. LITERALLY.

 Sibling Argument, Casa Capulet

LIVIA: You let Juliet marry a Montague and didn’t think that MAYBE THIS IS SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT???

ROSALINE: No time to argue! We’re getting out while we still can!

LIVIA: Out? Are you out of your goddamn mind?

[The sisterly argument is interrupted by a summons from the palace!]

  The Brawling Streets of Verona

ROSALINE: Oh great, brigands. Like this day couldn’t get any worse.

[It’s about to get worse.]

A HELPFUL BYSTANDER: This way!

ROSALINE: Oh great, a dead-end alley… that is strewn with bodies…

THE HELPFUL BYSTANDER: Actually I am a villain!

ROSALINE: Time to conk a dude on the head with a billet of wood.  

BENVOLIO [heroically backlit]: I’ll save you!

ROSALINE: I had it under control! You realize this is all your fault?

[They bicker, loudly, casting blame on each other and running through the entire list of ways in which Romeo and Juliet could have somehow not turned out badly.]

BENVOLIO: I am starting to seriously question why I jumped in to save a lady’s life.

ROSALINE: Your saving me is the worst thing ever. I’m going to storm off now.

BENVOLIO [calling after her]: YOU’RE WELCOME.

[The Rock called, he wants his Moana tagline back. He’ll probably get it: Benvolio doesn’t have enough tattoos or sass to carry it off very far. At least, I’m assuming he doesn’t. It’s kind of hard to tell under all the leather. His mustache is trying, though.]

  The Castle of Capulet

[Meanwhile, Livia has been transported into a Gothic novel. She discovers a secret passage with a secret staircase leading to The Secret Sickroom, where The Nurse and Evil Queen Lady Capulet are tending to a sweaty, disheveled Paris. He is posing attractively and gasping as he continues to bleed on the upholstery. Clearly this requires someone with doctor skills and discretion.] 

LIVIA: I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!

  Some Throne Room, The Palace

[Rosaline arrives, disheveled, at what is obviously an intervention. Giles and the Montagues are already there.] 

GILES: Niece, I hope you are feeling extra patriotic today! For the Greater Good!

ROSALINE: This cannot possibly bode well.

[It doesn’t.]

ESCALUS: The marriage of Benvolio Montague and Rosaline Capulet is now mandated by the state. Which is me. Congratulations.

ROSALINE & BENVOLIO: …

BENVOLIO: Will your grace command me any service to the world’s end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes that you can devise to send me on; I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furthest inch of Asia, bring you the length of Prester John’s foot, fetch you a hair off the great Cham’s beard, do you any embassage to the Pigmies, rather than hold three words’ conference with this harpy!

ROSALINE: I take it back; this is the worst thing ever. ROSALINE OUT.

  A Fabulous Candlelit-and-Frescoed Interior, The Palace

ROSALINE: Given our adorable and romantic past that was tragically interrupted by my father being murdered in the street by Montagues, I think I have the right to ask: How could you?

ESCALUS: I’m actually doing this for totally valid political reasons, but I’m going to try to justify it by making it seem like I’m doing you a favor!

ROSALINE: Un. be. lieve. able.

ESCALUS: What do you want?

ROSALINE: Economic and political agency for women and a sovereign who isn't a complete bonehead?

ESCALUS: Try again.

ROSALINE: I will settle for tearful, clandestine makeouts.

ESCALUS: Done!

 BENVOLIO: Well, that escalated quickly.

[Someone had to say it.]

Next Episode

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

THE ASK ABT JOBS SUGURU WOULD HAVE ,,,,,, i love thinking abt it thats my favorite subject EVA !!!! [thats a lie suguru as a whole is my favorite subject teehee :3]

ur SOOO right abt him being in law 2 help ppl ,,,,,, SO right w the idea of him walking around w a briefcase + slicked back ponytail + coffee GOHDDDD ok . okay . jobs I THINK suguru would have LETS GO !!

CERAMICIST - hed make these insane pots + sculptures n have showcases that r BOOKED like ,,, hes just so ,,,, pottery person 2 me,,,, n i feel like hed have a focus on using old pottery methods n keeping them alive in the modern day ,, like hes got some crazy intricate jomon pots, porcelain bowls + other kitchenware, n probs some bizen pots that he made dotted around his garden ,,,,, WAUGHHH I LOEV ART HISTORY

TATTOO ARTIST - ok . popular hc BUT STILL . hes worked his way up from being an apprentice in a huge shop -> owning his own lil studio pretty fast n hes GOOD . like hes got a rlly nice set of flashes that r colorful n playful but on himself hes probably got these super serious grayscale marbles and mythology plastered all over him [except for a family portrait mimiko + nanako made when they were like . 6 that he thought was so cute he got it tattooed on him] also i dont think hed b SUUPER in2 tattooing ppls names on other ppl or on himself, but maybe once u two have been dating for a LONGG while or r even almost a solid decade into marriage hed consider getting your name tatted somewhere hidden-but-not-really-hidden [womb tattoo, around the back of his ear, inner thigh]

MARINE BIOLOGIST - oHH MY GOHD OH MY GOHD OHHHHH MY GOHD i get super excited abt this cuz i wanna b a marine biologist SO BADDDDDD . its coming . TRUST !!!! anyway, he probably does some type of conservation bcuz . cmon . look at him . so he dives pretty often, like a weekly typa thing, BUT IMAGINE HIM IN THE SCUBA OUTFIT . he comes out sopping wet n hes probably rlly hot 4 a solid minute b4 the Stench hits u since ur both in an enclosed space and he smells like the underside of a dock.

CLASSICAL MUSICIAN - u know how i was talking abt how suguru would b a cellist ? yeah hed b a DAMN GOOD cellist like that man is principal cellist and hes so nice abt it 2 ,,, like he doesn't flaunt it and whenever someone in his section needs help w bowings or smthn else he gladly helps them !! he probably solos a ton on the tuba 2 ,,, like hes just SO GOOD at everything he picks up its insane

CONDUCTOR - same vein as the classical musician thing, he would b such a fine ass conductor ,,,,, like his facial expressions when the music gets intense and then it softens and hes swaying with the orchestra, hands gliding through the air ,,, also hed just b rlly good at keeping ppl in time and figuring out what each section was doing wrong.

oki thats my 2 cents on the whole thing ill get off my soapbox now dhhdhd :3

ASHLEY i’m finally getting to this…… these are all so bigbrained it’s crazy . AND I’M SO GLAD YOU SEE THE LAWYER!SUGU VISION <3333 he means the world 2 me….. silly little guy……

BUT WAHHH. CERAMIST SUGU THE LOML????? there’s this one stsg fic i rlly like where he’s a ceramics instructor and it …. changed me. as a person. AND I AGREE COMPLETELY the part abt him wanting to keep old art alive….. showcases constantly booked bc he’s just so skilled….. 😵‍💫 yeah. sugu as any kind of artist makes me insane. and him being good at pottery is just so…. weirdly attractive to me???? LIKE . him just having the most steady gentle hands…… teaching you how to mold the clay properly……… your back against his chest as he guides your hands . i need him so bad

AND . TATTOO ARTIST. yes it’s popular but it’s popular for a REASON (reason being: he is hot). HIM OWNING HIS OWN STUDIO and being so skilled….. the mythological tattoos + family portrait 🥺🥺 wahhh . he’s so sweet ashley…. i need him so bad…….. AND THE NAME THING …… i agree btw i feel like he would see tattoos as very . very very special. so getting your name inked into his skin so permanently might feel just as serious as a proposal to him 😭😭 i could see him doing it eventually tho ….. i agree w all the placements bUT. a part of me feels like . he’d get it tattooed somewhere on his chest … close to his heart….. :’3 sniffle. i could also see him getting a tiny heart you doodled onto his palm tattooed w/o you knowing and you’re just like ???? SUGURU??????? and he’s just. “i thought it was cute :)”…… sick sick man (affectionate) 😔😔

AND MARINE BIOLOGIST!SUGU ??? YOUR BRAINNNNN i remember you mentioning that in the sashisu college au too :33 him scuba diving!!!!! being constantly drenched and smelling of seasalt….. i’m of the firm belief that he was obsessed w marine biology as a kid so it just makes sense. I TRUST YOU BTWWW you’ll become a marine biologist for sure 🫡🫡🫡 pls let me pet the sharks once it happens . i would like to see them.

and finally ….. classical musician and conductor. CONDUCTOR!SUGU HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD BTW?? he would look so graceful and commanding and and and 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 just . him. swaying w the orchestra!!!!! he’s like a beautiful swan….. and ofc i love the idea of him being a musician too :3 it just makes sense. AND . HIM BEING A CELLIST. WHAT IF I CRYYYY he’d look so good playing it……

ashley your brain is actually so insanely big did you know that …… tysm for the food as always 🙏🙏 i am nomming him 2 death