#anyways bc no idea if it was clear felix is once again insecure about whether or not he's allowed to love roman

[mythvoiced]

@enchcntd | sc. ちるちる - reol

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Millions of dimensions apart or merely a few feet, and yet there will always be moments in which Felix can’t see Roman in a way not quite akin to how he can’t ever see Felix. He sees his silhouette, the colour of his eyes reflected on the surroundings, and he sees distance, sees miles upon miles stretching on between the few centimetres that actually separate them.

Even now, and especially now, as they're outside for once, walking side by side and hardly keeping pace with the seemingly thousands of cars rushing by at this hour of the night, all drenched by the golden light of the streetlamps, and what little water continues to pitter-patter down from the sky and onto their chrome roofs, Felix can’t connect the scent of unmade sheets and the touch of expert hands, to the man next to him.

Nevermind his distant unseeing gaze he can stare at as much as he wants before Roman will inevitably notice. It’s the surrealism of having someone like him in his meaningless existence, familiarity in the taste of his lips and the sensation of his skin against his, being held gently as if worthy of such treatment, that makes each minute he spends simply staring at the reality of the man Roman is beyond that feel like another step he’s taking away from him.

And it shows, in the painful crease of his brows, the teeth gnawing at the inside of his bottom lip, worried gaze scanning the other’s figure as if desperately trying to discover any method at all that would allow him to reach out once more, underline what love he’s so ready to portray each and every single night to drive the point of its existence home. But there’s nothing that his mind can conjure, nothing a creature as dried of love as he’d been before meeting Roman, could think of.

So instead of taking the other’s hand, he moves away at the first brush of knuckles against knuckles and looks up. “Do you want to go somewhere else tonight? I’m feeling a pub, to be honest. If we have the money for it. If not, I think a bit of flirting would get us enough free drinks to make due.”