#anyway. not like i needed another wip/au added to the list LOL but the broken arm idea worked its way into my brain a few weeks ago

[johnslittlespoon]

accidentally just created my own buckbucky college au oops (i love college aus tho, this was far overdue tbh) so here's like ~2k words of (semi–nsfw) drabble that i wanna turn into a oneshot/series :-)

thinking about modern au pre–established relationship buckbucky who meet in their first year of college because they apply to an ad to rent a two bedroom apartment near campus, complete strangers save for a few texts back and forth until move in day.

they become fast friends despite how opposite they are, john being a cliche frat boy type (but subverting expectations by majoring in something english–related? waxing secret poetry about his 'obvious as the sun to everyone but gale' crush on his roommate lol) and gale being a studious math/science major, no interest in parties or campus culture. pining aside, everything's just fine until:

john does something stupid a few months into the school year and ends up spraining/breaking his dominant arm– probably wipes out trying to ride his bike home to his and gale's apartment while drunk after a party. gale gets a call at midnight from a sheepish john asking if he can come drive him to the hospital, and of course he does, though after his initial concern when he picks john up at the side of some random street, he's fuming at john's idiocy.

"you could've rode into traffic, john. jesus, you're gonna give me a stroke one of these days, you gotta start using your brain more." and john's drenched in cold–sweat from pain as he cradles his arm to his chest, head tilted back against the headrest and trying not to curse out every red light as his head spins, but he still cracks a weak smile and says "c'mon buck, you'd be bored if i started using my brain." gale glances over and the stern look is enough to shut john up.

this injury leads to gale having to help him with certain tasks for a bit, like shaving his face, brushing his teeth, doing his hair, tying shoes, etc. john's stubborn the day after, independent to a fault, refusing to ask for help, and gale watches with mild amusement/hidden winces, not wanting to push because he knows by now it'll only make john dig his heels in. gale only decides that enough is enough when he's walking past the half–open bathroom door the next afternoon and suddenly hears a sharp inhale and a stream of profanities and pokes his head in to find john's cut his jaw trying to shave with his left hand.

the intimacy and domesticity of it all– john pretends he's inconvenienced, but once he realizes this means he gets to stare at gale's focussed face up close as he sits on the bathroom counter and gale stands between his legs carefully shaving away his stubble, he's a lot less reluctant to accept help. but being that close to gale's face and being able to unabashedly study his long lashes and the curve of his lips is dangerous for john's lack of impulse control, barely keeping his pining under wraps from the moment they'd met, let alone with this newfound proximity they have to fall into the routine of.

so john has fun being a shithead on purpose during these moments, both to distract his yearning brain and for his own entertainment, just yapping away while gale's frustratedly trying to grab him by his jaw and hold him still for five seconds. biting down on the toothbrush when gale's trying to do a proper job of brushing his teeth so gale has to wrestle it away like he's playing tug of war with a dog, being an asshole and jerking his shoe to the side while gale's doing up his laces for him, heart leaping at the thrill he gets from gale's touches getting firmer when he's fed up, or from being pinned by irritated blue eyes.

he has no idea gale's pining just as hard, because gale's a master of concealing emotions in thanks to a very different upbringing than john's, and because while gale doesn't hide his queerness, he's not as open with it as john is. but gale's losing his mind just as much each time john needs his help, and the way he feels his self control slipping scares him.

this little dance around each other probably comes to a peak when john's being extra difficult one day while gale's trying to tame his wild curls for him. gale's got john pressed back against the bathroom counter with a scowl, working his gelled fingers through thick dark hair, and john can barely think straight because oh, has he ever spent an ungodly amount of time thinking about gale's hands in his hair under very different circumstances.

john's got a grin so big it near splits his face in half as he purposefully leans out of gale's reach, pulling every annoying thing he can think of because if he focuses too hard on gale's motions, he's gonna pop a very inconvenient boner with no hope of concealing it from gale with the way he's pressed up against him.

but gale's got twenty minutes until his next class and it's a ten minute walk from their apartment, and he's at the end of his rope, so he finally snaps and without giving it a second thought he closes the last bit of distance between them to grab at the back of john's hair, and he pulls, hard.

the smile slides off john's face as his mouth falls open and his hips reflexively jerk forward and whatever scolding gale was about to give him dies in his throat because holy shit. there's a few seconds where both of them just stare at each other wide eyed with their hearts pounding, john internally spiralling because he thinks he's just fucked everything up, gale internally spiralling because oh my god, he hasn't been misreading john's behaviour around him.

gale whispers a "fuck" and, more impulsive than he's ever allowed himself to be, goes in for the kiss, hand still tight in john's hair, and john whines into his mouth and his hands fly to gale's waist and everything gets heated really quick– until gale pulls away with a gasp for breath, both of them panting, cheeks flushed and eyes heavy. and then gale's ducking out of the bathroom and grabbing his backpack from the entry way and all but sprinting out of the apartment.

john's left standing there harder than he's ever been in his life but also panicking because he's not sure whether he's fucked up or whether gale's just overwhelmed, because he knows gale well enough to know he likes his space when big things happen.

but gale also knows john well enough to know how big of an overthinker he is; they've probably had to work through some incidents where their communication styles have clashed over the few months they've been roomies. so after his hands stop shaking enough while he's walking to campus, he types out a message to john letting him know 'I'm all good. Sorry for running, was gonna be late for class and panicked. Talk later, yeah?'

and john sighs in relief, texts back a 'np. sounds good :)' and then promptly shoves a hand down his pants and comes embarrassingly quick with the sting of gale's hands in his hair still fresh in his mind.

they talk things out somewhat, blahblahblah plotting problem for future me, but they're both shy and awkward around each other for a bit, which is so out of character for john and how obnoxiously flirty and loud mouthed he normally is.

so maybe what finally breaks them out of this tiptoeing around each other after a few days is something stupid– specifically, john ends up pent up and frustrated because trying to get off with his left hand just isn't doing it for him. and he's one of those 'once a day minimum' guys, so this isn't something he can just ignore; finds his temper is shorter, and he can't focus as well, etc. drama queen.

either gale comments on it lightheartedly and john blurts out his problem unthinkingly, or john makes an offhand joke about it, and gale thinks john's lack of impulse control is starting to rub off on him, because after a beat of silence, he gets out an "i can help."

john's head snaps over to look at him so fast he feels like he gives himself whiplash, eyes comically rounded, wondering if he's heard gale wrong or if gale's making a rare flirtatious joke. gale blinks back at him, looking just as surprised, tips of his ears going a little pink, but he doesn't laugh or throw in a 'only kidding!'

mumbles a "y'know, if you want," second guessing himself as if what happened in the bathroom a few days before isn't in john's top three best things that have ever happened to him list. john gets out a "yeah– yeah, i want," uncharacteristically nervous, and gale nods, turning his attention back to his laptop. and john just stands there in the kitchen, flabbergasted, shifting uncertainly.

works up the courage to shyly ask, "like. now? or." and he feels like he's never fumbled the bag so hard in his life, unable to remember the last time he's felt shy when talking about sex–related stuff, realizes just how bad his crush on gale's gotten. beyond a crush, at this point. and it makes it worse that gale's so nonchalant now, humming to himself as if in deep thought before saying "later. i've gotta get this assignment done."

john loses his mind over those next few hours, trying to be patient and give gale space to focus, but he's half hard the whole time and can't think about anything other than what gale means by 'helping'. gale can sense his impatience from the other side of their apartment, and he can't help the way it makes him smile to himself, having fun teasing john without even needing to do anything, and without john knowing it's fully intentional.

unfortunately this arrangement, however it plays out, probably leads to a lotta miscommunication and repression of feelings, because they're both dumb boys who suck at communicating, neither one of them wanting to ruin a good thing (aka an inevitable friends with benefits situation) by bringing up their feelings for the other. but there's plenty of hot sex and light kink exploration in the meantime, and eventually they sort their shit out, likely by accident like every other situation they've stumbled into together.

and not to cliffhang pre–smut, but i'll leave it there because this is way too long and if i do turn it into a oneshot i don't wanna write it all out of my system into this drabble before it makes it into a fic loll <3

[jestbee]

Fic Read Round-up 12th Oct 2018

A list of fic I read this week and recommend (wips not included)

Sorry there wasn’t one last week, I didn’t read much. This week I read too much. Go figure. 

Disclaimer: I spent a lot of time re-reading people’s fic and back catalogues this week so there will be a lot of repeat writers. I don’t apologise for this, going through people’s pages and reading a lot when I’m feeling down is something I like to do. These writers comfort me when things seem hopeless.

Dan/Phil

cold feet by @waveydnp

M 3.3k Foot fetish fic from the amaaf verse. This is actually so beautiful, I’m in love. 

paint it on your face by @onedirectionticketss1

M 574 soulmate marks with a twist. Funny and lovely, an all round good read. 

Beside You I’m a Loaded Gun by ramonaspeaks

E 958 Phil wakes up still hard from the night before. Fun fact: this is my most re-read fic in the phandom.

witness by @velvetnautilus

G 818 Dan makes coming out videos but he never shows them to anyone. Other than Phil. 

nothing feels better by @waveydnp

M 2.5k I just really really love fwb okay? Them not being able to say what they want to say but their actions being so obvious that you just want to shake them. But Sarah writes them so beautifully that it hurts so good. ugh. 

unashamed, wide open for joy by @queerofcups

E 10.8k Okay, what happened was shapes and weights to choose (look at me defying my own rule of not mentioning wips - lol no regrets) updated. So I re-read it from the beginning. Twice. (ao3 tells me I’ve visited this fic 65 times and thats only the ones where I was logged in) and then I was thinking about Porn Star Phil because, well, why wouldn’t you? And then I remembered this fic wherein Phil is also a porn star and Dan is a youtuber and there is a mix up when he tells Phil he makes videos on the internet and it’s just really good and so I re-read this too. 

Unlatch by @queerofcups 

E 1.6k Phil can’t get over it when Dan makes the joke about sucking dick in Living my Truth and starts holding out on him. After re-reading the above fic I started going back and re-reading a bunch more because I have my faves and I re-read all the time. 

(your love) feels like all four seasons by @queerofcups

E 1.5k Dan and Phil at the Lester’s trying to be quiet. Told you I’m not apologising for reccing the same author one million times this week. 

everybody told me it was bad to do by @queerofcups

M 1.1k Phil’s boyfriend is downstairs and yet they’re doing stuff anyway. I have a confession that I actually really love fics where the relationship is a bit fucked up? Like I don’t think fic needs to always be representative of like healthy communication or whatever because it isn’t a relationship guide, it’s fiction. And this is a perfect example of a really interesting dynamic. I love. 

Birthday Sex by @danfanciesphil

E 233.7k friends with benefits, so angsty but with the happiest ending. Okay, I sort of blame @charlottekath for this because she re-read this recently and then I thought... okay I’ll re-read it too and I got a bit broken in the middle like I always do but by the time I reached the end it was okay. I did however have to go read some stuff where it wasn’t all turbulent for them to make myself feel better. 

Give Me A Try by @danfanciesphil

E 72.9k Instagram model Phil and bartender Dan. I love Phil, I love Dan being a fan of Phil. I like the teasing and the banter and the sexual tension. This cured all my ills. 

L'Histoire Française by @danfanciesphil

E 105.5k Teacher Phil and teaching assistant Dan. More lovely sexual tension with a good pay off. I had no ills left but I thought, while on a good writer’s page, might as well read some others too. I almost completed the set. 

L'Histoire de L'Amour by @danfanciesphil

E 2.9k a valentines day follow up to the above. Because I like to see them settled and happy. ahhhh. 

Raise your arms and hold by @danfanciesphil

M 10.3k Phil rents a flat across from Dan and their balconies face each other. Dan is depressed, Phil has plants. 

if there's a line, then I think that we crossed it by @tobieallison

unrated 797 2010!Phan might be my fave??? when they’re working it out and going through that really exciting just-in-love stuff. makes me feel all warm.

Daddy Kink by @danfanciesphil

E 9k Phil thinks the daddy kink thing is weird until one day things change. The only daddy kink fic that needs to exist honestly. 

Frustration by ramonaspeaks

E 8.4k Dan has hand surgery and can’t do anything for himself. Phil helps out. 

Look don’t judge the amount of smut I read this week, okay? I had a really bad week and sometimes when I’m in a really dark place I like to read smut and see people be happy because fluff is too cloying for me in that headspace sometimes but smut doesn’t tend to be as like, nice. 

Temptations by ramonaspeaks

E 2.7k baking and then some getting together smut, perfect

Terrifying Truths And Drunken Dares by @danfanciesphil

E 9.8k Dan and Phil get drunk and play truth or dare. Yeah, I went back to Ellen’s page because I hadn’t read everything yet. 

Holding Back by ramonaspeaks

E 3k 2009 phan and Phil teaching Dan how to give him a blow job

The Hottest Day by ramonaspeaks

E 3k It’s a hot day and Dan has ice to cool down things take an interesting turn - some more getting together smut

Waking Up by ramonaspeaks

E 2.6k Uni AU where Dan stays in Phil’s dorm room and they wake up together

litany in which certain things are crossed out by nokomisfics, recklessfishes

E 21.4k another of my absolute favourites of all time. Dan is a writer and a bit shit and Phil is a student he has a one night stand with and then falls into a kind of fwb relationship with and its just so so good but I always manage to forget about the ambiguous ending when I read it and then I’m left a little sad 

naked sofa battle royale by @alittledizzy

E 1.3k Phil likes playing fornite naked and he likes incentives to win Dan takes advantage of that. 

the sun a souvenir by deletable_bird

E 10.8k Dan is an art student with a final assignment and no model. He meets Phil at a coffee shop. I also kind of had a thing for coffee shop AUs this week, as will become apparent. 

Immediate Family by sasiml

G 1.3k Dan and Cornelia talking about family and how they are the same but different. I already reblogged this but I’m adding it here too as I really do recommend it

shift into overdrive by @alittledizzy

E 1.2k Dan and Phil can’t have sex on the tour bus, but they can do other things. I had a bad week and I wanted to read my fave ever trope from one of my fave ever writers, okay?

keep a place for me by @waveydnp

E 14.1k I know everyone knows Sarah is a genius at this point but I don’t think this particular fic gets as much love as it should. YouTuber AU slow burn and a lot of sorting their shit out

waiting to be found by @alittledizzy

M 15.1k Dan and Phil meet at a club, and then again at a coffee shop and the universe must just want them that way.  I remember reading this as it came out and just loving it and I still love it with every re-read. (17 times according to ao3 because I always open entire work at once)

waiting outside the lines by @alittledizzy

T 22.8k There is a coffee shop and some uni parties as a music festival and charlie is there along with Cat but it isn’t angsty, they’re just figuring stuff out and it’s beautiful. The ending is wonderful. 

closer to where I started by @alittledizzy

M 10.6k Dan gets injured and Phil worries and it leads them to some big decisions (dw, Dan is fine in the end) This kind of hurt/comfort is the best tbh. If you’re on a Dizzy kick and re-reading, you can’t not re-read this one, can you?

get me up get me out (of my mind) by @alittledizzy

E 2k Phil is having some issues, but Dan is there to help. I love Phil in this, and I love Dan. I love it all. 

back to those tokyo nights by @waveydnp

M 3k this coincidentally dropped as I was reading the previous and my ‘Phil being his age’ thirst was well and truly quenched. I love Phil being older, I love mentions of him doing their taxes. I love him being insecure about it and Dan assuring him he still thinks he’s really fucking hot. But most of all I love how true this is to the depiction of a long-term relationship. How predictability doesn’t necessarily mean boring It mean you’ve worked out what you like. how damn, this is a good fic. 

Crawling back to you by definitelythor (yourlionheartx)

E 14.4k Phone sex, and kind of fwb. They have phone sex alot until they move in together and then it stops. Until it doesn’t.