#anyway. i know i'm literally years late to the party but i'm glad i finally Know

[sad0nion]

i finally watched martyn's POV of 3rd life and like. i get it now. i get why people are insane about them. it all makes sense.

[writingwithciara]

is she really yours -quinn hughes-

summary: quinn has loved y/n literally his whole life, but she's about to get married to someone else. will he have the nerve to tell her before it's too late?

word count: 3.9k

pairing: quinn hughes x reader

notes: i had an idea while listening to music, which is usually the case. i didn't like the way it ended but i honestly just wanted to finish it, plus i wrote most of the ending at 3am. i hope you enjoy it anyway.

when y/n was born, her mom made sure that ellen and jim were the first ones to meet her. she beamed with pride as she noticed the tears in her best friends eyes.

"would you like to hold her? she asked. ellen nodded and y/n's mom passed her the baby.

"welcome to the world, y/n." ellen smiled as she was handed the tiny baby. quinn, who wasn't even a year old, crawled his way over to his mother. "say hello, quinn."

the boy just babbled but when y/n reached her hand out and grasped his finger, he couldn't help but smile widely. ellen and y/n's mom exchanged a look, knowing that their children would be great friends

when luke was born, y/n had just turned 3 years old. she saw him for the first time and she was infatuated. she decided right then and there that she was going to protect him for the rest of her life.

quinn stood next to her and smiled down at his baby brother. he also decided that he would protect luke along with her. together they were going to be unstoppable.

when she was 9, y/n found herself with her first crush. she didn't know how to deal with it so she thought going to quinn for advice would help. it didn't.

when she found out the guy she liked was crushing on another girl, she experienced her first heartbreak. her immediate reaction was to run to quinn. he made sure she was safe and didn't leave her side until she was asleep. even though he was still young, he knew he loved her. and it pained him to see her so broken over a guy who wasn't even important.

at y/n's 13th birthday party, which only consisted of her family and the hughes family, y/n got a present from everybody. even jack got her something, despite labelling her as his 'rival' the year before. the only present she didn't receive during the party was one from quinn. she didn't know why it hurt her at the time, but she smiled anyway and moved onto the cake.

later that night, while sitting out by the pool in her backyard, y/n was alone & thinking about what her future was going to be like. she wasn't alone for long because quinn sat next to her and smiled.

"happy birthday, dumpling."

"yeah i suppose." she kicked the water and avoided eye contact.

"i'm sorry i didn't give you your present at the party." he handed her a small box wrapped in blue paper.

"it's alright. you didn't have to get me anything." she stared at the box in her hand.

"just open it. please?" quinn looked at her nervously as she slowly unwrapped the box.

"it's a charm bracelet." y/n picked it up and looked at the charms he picked out. "i love it, quinn. thank you." she threw her arms around his shoulders and he didn't hesitate to hug her back. y/n slipped the bracelet on her wrist and smiled.

"glad you like it." he smiled, kissed the top of her head and stood up. "happy birthday." he whispered to her before retreating back into the house to help with the cleanup.

it was decided right then that y/n loved quinn. she wasn't sure if it was platonically or something else, but she was sure there was love there.

when she finally turned 16, y/n was so happy. she had one thing on her wish list and that was to have her first kiss. the boys had each already had theirs. quinn's was last year, jack's was when he was 12 & luke's happened a month before jack's. y/n felt like she was far behind where she should be in life and that didn't sit right with her.

this was also the year that she determined that she loved quinn romantically & just as she was going to tell him, he announced to everyone that he had a girlfriend. it shattered y/n's heart and she couldn't run to him to pick up the pieces. so she turned to jack for help. he had gotten over his original 'hatred' for her when she ended up taking care of him during a particularly bad cold a few months prior to her birthday.

so when he saw the tears flowing down her face, he didn't hesitate to use the knowledge that quinn had passed on to him to make her feel better. he handed her one of his hockey hoodies and let her pick a movie to watch. as they settled into his bed for the night, jack felt a bit of anger towards his brother for announcing his relationship at y/n's party. he should've waited for another time, but instead he had to go and ruin y/n's special day.

when the movie was over, y/n looked at jack. "thank you for tonight. i thought for sure my birthday was ruined but this really helped me."

"it was my pleasure, truly." jack smiled down at her and suddenly realized he didn't get her a present this year. "oh my god. i am so sorry i didn't get you anything this year."

"it's fine. you did more than enough for me tonight." she bit her lip and began to pick at her nails. "besides, there was only one thing on my wish list this year."

"and what was that?"

"i wanted to have my first kiss at my party and i wanted it to be with quinn, but that was never going to happen. oh well. wishful thinking, right?" she chuckled nervously.

"i can do it, if you want."

"what?"

"i mean, i'm not quinn, but if your only wish was to have your first kiss, then i'd be more than happy to do it. but only if that's okay with you."

"i guess there's really no difference in who i get it from. as long as i get the kiss, right?"

"yeah. right. so, what do you say?"

"let's do it." y/n smiled and leaned in. jack's lips were way softer than she figured they would be. when they both pulled away, jack looked at her.

"so how was that?" he asked nervously, afraid he might have messed up her dream.

"i have nothing to compare it to. but it felt really good. better than i expected, actually. so, um, thank you."

"you're welcome." jack smiled and pressed play on another movie.

when y/n was 18, quinn was about to leave michigan to become a professional hockey player. y/n and quinn were at the draft and they were both nervous.

"you're going to get picked by an amazing team and you're going to have a great rookie year. i'll be cheering for you no matter where you are."

"thanks. that's actually really comforting to hear." quinn smiled as y/n squeezed his hand. they watched as other players were called onto the stage. so far, 6 people had been drafted by the nhl and quinn was starting to doubt himself. but when y/n tightened her grip on his hand, he knew he'd be okay.

"the vancouver canucks are proud to select, from the michigan wolverines, quinn hughes."

"that's you." y/n stood up with quinn as he hugged her tightly and headed to the stage to get his jersey. as she watched him up on the stage, she couldn't help but feel sad that he wouldn't be around anymore. he was going to be playing his heart out on the west coast while she was stuck on the east coast.

by the time time quinn returned to her, she was crying but she tried to hide it as he approached her.

"hey, what's wrong?"

"you're going to be so far away. who am i gonna come to when i have a problem or when i just want to talk?"

"facetime exists, you know." he chuckled.

"but you're going to be too busy."

"too busy for you? never." he reached up and wiped her tears. "i'm always going to be here." he pointed to her heart and smiled. "it's going to be okay."

"okay." she smiled weakly as he pulled her into a hug.

he was being strong for her but he was breaking inside knowing he couldn't physically be there for her. he needed her in his life and he was determined to keep her in it, no matter what it took.

their plan worked for a while. they called each other and facetimed as much as their busy schedules would allow. and it was sufficient enough to keep their friendship alive, but eventually, it came to an end.

the 'before bed' facetimes turned into rushed phone calls and the calls on their birthdays were shorter than either of them wanted. just a quick happy birthday and they were over.

but y/n understood. quinn was a professional hockey player and she was busy at school in california.

it was there that she met a guy named hunter and fell in love with him almost immediately. he was everything she had wished for and although he wasn't quinn, she was fine with that. he treated her like she deserved.

they were together for 2 years before he asked her to marry him. she said yes and they began to plan for their big day. when they were planning who to invite, y/n wrote out quinn's invitation immediately. hunter didn't question it because he knew how much it would mean to her to have him there. sure they had drifted apart because of their schedules but he was still one of her best friends.

when quinn received the invitation, he felt his heart break. he wasn't sure if he wanted to attend the wedding of the girl he loved his whole life. so he thought hard about his decision. he knew how much it would mean to her if he was there and he didn't want to ruin her big day. so he accepted the invitation and even though he could've checked box to bring a plus one, he didn't. there was nobody he wanted to attend a wedding with because none of the girls were ever going to measure up to her.

it was finally the day y/n had dreamed of. all her friends and family were going to be there and she couldn't be happier.

she was in the room getting ready with her bridal party, which consisted of jack's girlfriend, lindays & hunter's sister, destiny. her mom and ellen were also in the room.

"oh, honey. you look absolutely gorgeous." ellen sipped her drink and admired her best friends daughter.

"thanks, ellen." y/n smiled and looked in the mirror.

"how do you feel about getting married?"

"and to my brother, of all people." destiny smiled.

"hunter's great. he really is." y/n ran her hands down the front of her dress nervously.

"but?"

"but what?"

"the way you ended that sentence seemed like there was a 'but' coming."

"you guys know me so well." y/n sighed and turned to destiny. "hunter really is great. but it's just that he's-"

"he's not quinn?" she looked at her friend. "it's okay. i get it. quinn seems pretty awesome and i'm not mad that you love him more than you love my brother. but i think you should tell hunter before it's too late."

"ellen, are the boys here?" y/n ignored destiny and turned towards her best friends mom.

"i'm not sure. but i'll go check." she walked out of the room and in the hallway, she ran into quinn. "hey sweetie. so glad you could make it."

"i almost didn't come." he chuckled nervously.

"why?"

"because the girl i've been in love with my entire life is getting married. it hurts, mom." he sighed. "but i can suck it up for a night because it'll make her happy that i'm here."

"oh, sweetie. i'm so sorry. i always thought it would be you two on this day. ever since the day she came home from the hospital and grabbed onto your finger with her hand. you smiled so wide that day. i'll never forget it. i could tell you loved her, even if you were only a few months old."

"that's sweet, mom." he chuckled and pointed to the room. "is she in there?"

"yeah. let me get everyone out so you can talk to her." ellen smiled and returned to the room. she walked over to where y/n was standing and whispered in her ear. "quinn's outside and he wants to talk to you."

y/n turned to face everyone and smiled. "okay you guys. the wedding is about to start. let's get in our places."

none of the girls hesitated as they walked out of the room. quinn made sure to stay out of sight until he saw his mom. she gave him a thumbs up and he slowly approached the door. he knocked twice and waited.

"come in." y/n called from where she was standing. quinn walked in and they made eye contact through the mirror.

"wow. you look amazing." quinn smiled.

"thanks. you do too." y/n turned around and walked towards him. "i'm so glad you're here. didn't think i could do this without you."

"are you kidding? i wouldn't miss your special day for anything."

"you know, when we were younger, i had dreams of marrying you. it always went south though, like some kind of sign that it would never happen in real life. and i guess that ended up being true. because here i am, set to marry the man i currently love in about 10 minutes," she glanced up at the clock. "with the man i used to love standing right in front of me. crazy how life works, huh?"

"yeah. that is pretty crazy." quinn looked at her. "you and hunter seem really happy, from what i've seen. you must really love him."

"yeah. i do. he's the best."

"that's good to know. glad someone's taking care of you and treating you like you deserve." quinn smiled and pulled a box from his pocket. "open this after the ceremony."

"okay." she smiled. "see you out there?"

"yeah. i promise." quinn walked out slowly, regretting that he didn't take that opportunity. he walked down the hallway of the venue until he got to the foyer, where he stopped. there were 2 doors. he could either take a left and go find his seat, or he could walk out the front door and never look back.

before his mind could decide, his feet were already taking him to the front door. he got in his car and turned out of the parking lot. part of him felt bad for not sticking around after he promised y/n he would, but the other part of him knew that if he had stayed, it would've hurt him. so he was thankful for his decision.

back at the venue, y/n linked her arm through jim's as they prepared to walk down the aisle. y/n was nervous and he could tell.

"it's okay to feel this way, you know. you don't have to pretend everything is perfect."

"i know. but i'm getting married. a girl normally only gets one of these days her whole life. what if hunter isn't the one i'm supposed to be with?"

"then if the marriage doesn't work out, there's always another chance. you're still young and beautiful. shouldn't be hard to find someone."

"what if the guy i really wanted to be with was the guy who has been by my side my entire life? and i somehow screwed that up but not going with him to vancouver when he offered?"

"honey, if you don't love hunter, you need to tell him. and if you really love quinn, then you need to tell him that."

"you're right, jim. thank you." y/n sighed. "could you go and get hunter for me?

"yeah. sure." he opened the door and walked in. y/n got a brief glimpse of the seats and noticed the one she reserved for quinn was empty. did he really not stay?

"hey, honey. what's wrong? jim said you wanted to talk to me." hunter walked out and it was then that he noticed the tears on her face. "are you getting cold feet? because that's understandable."

"i don't think i can marry you, hunter." y/n took a deep breath. "i love you, i really do. it's just that..."

"you're not in love with me?" he sighed and looked at her. "is it quinn?"

"i'm sorry." y/n wiped her tears from her cheeks. "i tried to get over him. i really did. but seeing him here a few minutes ago just brought back so much memories and i regret not taking the chance when i had it." she looked up at him. "you're not mad, are you?"

"no. i'm actually glad you came to this conclusion before we got married." he chuckled. "if he really makes you happy, then i suggest you tell him. i'm sure he'd be thrilled to know you're in love with him."

"how are you so calm and understanding about this?" y/n smiled.

"because i love you and i value your happiness over anything else. and since we're being honest, i don't think we were meant to be together. of course i'm always going to love you. but you deserve to be happy. and if it's not with me, then i respect that. thank you for telling me."

"you're probably the coolest guy ever. thank you." y/n hugged him and smiled. "um, can you tell everyone that even though there wasn't a wedding, they can still take part in the reception? i'm not gonna deprive all these poor people of food and a party because i mde the decision to not get married."

"you got it." hunter smiled. "now go be happy."

y/n kissed his cheek and ran out to her car. she was thankful she didn't choose an extremely long or puffy dress, as she was able to fit in her seat. she threw the veil in the backseat and looked at her phone. quinn's location was pinging at the lake house so that's where she drove. she spent the drive trying to figure out what she was going to tell him.

when she arrived and saw his car parked in the driveway, her heart started beating faster. for the first time in her life, she was nervous to tell him the truth. she didn't have any reason to be nervous but she was.

she got out of her car and entered the house quietly. she wanted to head up to her room and change out of the dress before she went to see quinn. luckily, most of her clothes were still in the dresser. she grabbed a pair of shorts and one of quinn's old umich sweatshirts.

when she was done changing, she went down to the dock and found quinn sitting on the back of the boat. she climbed on slowly, being careful not to make the boat rock, before she settled down next to him.

"what are you doing here? shouldn't you be at your wedding?" quinn asked, sounding rather annoyed to see her.

"i couldn't go through with it."

"that was your one chance at happiness and you just blew it, y/n. why would you throw it all away?"

"my one chance? quinn, i'm 23 years old. i'm still young and beautiful. i'll have more chances."

"why did you come here?" he sighed.

"i needed to see you. felt like we had some unfinished business."

"what do you mean?"

"after we talked, i realized that marrying hunter was not what i wanted."

"and what do you want?"

"isn't it obvious? i just called off my wedding because i know that i'll never love hunter as much as i love you."

"why would you love me? i haven't been that great recently."

"i've loved you my whole damn life, quinn hughes. i didn't realize it til i was 9, but that's when my mom told me the story of my first day home from the hospital. i reached out and-"

"you grabbed my finger with your hand and didn't want to let go." quinn smiled, remembering the story his mom told him. the memory was slowly coming back to him.

"your mom was always telling me that with the way you smiled at me that day, that she knew we were destined to be together. i never believed her because it never seemed like it. but now i-"

"i love you. and i have loved you since the first moment i saw you." quinn interrupted y/n and looked over at her. "there have been so many times over the past 23 years that i've wanted to tell you, but i could never do it. i couldn't risk the friendship we've had our whole lives."

"i loved you too, quinn. and i was going to tell you on my 16th birthday but you brought nicole to the party and told everyone she was your girlfriend. it really hurt me and it sucked."

"i know. and i'm sorry i ruined your special day. it was not my intention."

"it wasn't completely ruined. i had jack." she smiled.

"wait a second. you told me that you had your first kiss on your 16th birthday. was it with jack?"

"yes. it was. but it would've been you if you hadn't shown up with your girlfriend and broke my heart."

"again, i'm really sorry about that. i really thought nicole was going to last longer than she did." quinn chuckled nervously. "what can i do to make that night up to you?"

"maybe you can give me what i really wanted that night. and maybe all will be forgiven."

"what did you really want that night?"

"well i wanted my first kiss to be with you."

"i can't be your first kiss. but i can be your last." he looked at her expectantly & moved a piece of hair from her face that had come loose.

"okay." y/n took a deep breath and leaned closer. after 23 years, her lips finally met quinn's and it was just as she had imagined it. his lips were softer than jack's and he was a way better kisser than hunter. the only time she felt fireworks in a kiss was in that exact moment.

by the time they both pulled away, y/n's face felt like it was on fire.

"what do you think? did it live up to your expectations?"

"even better than i imagined. easily the best kiss of my life."

"even better than hunter?"

"oh. by far. jack's kiss was better too, not gonna lie." she smiled and looked at him. "but yours is by far the most incredible kiss i've ever had."

"glad you think so." quinn smiled. "so, was hunter mad?"

"no. he was actually very understanding. told me to go to you & tell you how i feel."

"so, you love me?"

"yes, quinn. i think calling off my wedding for you makes it pretty obvious."

"is it too soon to ask you to be my girlfriend?"

"yeah. maybe a little too soon. let's go on a date first." she smiled and held his hand.

"can i still kiss you?"

"oh, absolutely." she smirked and pulled him in for another kiss.

she never belonged to hunter. she was always quinn's & they both knew that.

----------

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[touchstoneaf]

continued from previous post:

... At one point i also thought, "You know, maybe the system's so screwed that burning it down and starting over again is the only way forward... so let it burn, right? Better with a bang than with a whimper". I knew, as i do now, that we're far past peak oil anyway, and that if we had wanted to switch from fossil fuels to anything remotely renewable, we would have had to create the jobs and build the infrastructure years ago. That part is still worryingly true... but i know now what i hadn't even thought of then. That if the system falls apart because i was cheering it along... that would be a death-sentence for millions. People i loved who needed even one pill per day to stay alive, or stay sane. People I loved who needed access to assistive devices, or insulin, or inhalers, to stay alive. People who need access to doctors, and who couldn't for instance join a farming commune, like i hoped to do. I was naive. I lived on rural property where i might've made a go at it, with the people around me. I'm glad to say it didn't even take becoming one of the myriad people who need a pill a day to survive or stay sane (though that did finally occur, because we are all just a health-step away from depending on the system to survive, and pretending otherwise is the province of the young and the ableist). It didn't take Cheeto Voldemort telling us he was turning LITERALLY EVERYTHING into a pre-existing condition. It just took realizing that... i didn't want to lose all these people i loved who actually needed the system. My mother, with her heart meds, my friends, my chosen family. That we couldn't all just prance off to create a commune, because most of us are autistic, or have ADHD, or mental health struggles, because i surround myself with beautiful (God Bless The) Freaks. So, now I know. And i'm passing this truth on to you, if you weren't there. If you are too young to remember. Something it took me till 38 to realize, somehow. That IF WE WANT A THIRD PARTY OPTION, WE HAVE TO CREATE IT IN *BETWEEN* PRESIDENTS, WITH A SITTING DEM... and NOT just a few months from the Presidential election. We can't just blithely wish a plausible third party option into being by voting it and crossing our fingers. And, more importantly, I can't survive another of his Presidencies. No one I love can. At least one person YOU love can't, and won't. THE WHOLE WORLD CANNOT SURVIVE IT. Don't make the mistake i did in 2016. THIS IS HAPPENING, the WAY it is happening, whether we like it or not. It's too late to change it this time around. So, VOTE; and vote KAMALA, not Kennedy or some other impossible longshot. Don't stay home, don't screw this up. Your life, my life, their lives in the wider world? LITERALLY depends on it. No second chances.

I promise you. Not being melodramatic. You don't want the remorse. And you don't want to die. And neither do I. Sooner or later this will touch us all. Vote while you still can. You literally may never get another chance.

[nyxneon]

Since I am already awake, I might as well write some of the stuff I wanted to about reading Mat Osman's novel The Ruins.

I'm going to put this under a read more because, yeah...

I had literally no idea what the book would be about so I didn't know what to expect at first.

I'm glad to say that I found quite a lot of things I usually like, such as a narrator (or narrators) that feel kinda on the unreliable side, the theme of the double and identitiy, and a fair share of drugs sprinkled in.

As for the theme of the double, I felt very much in my element, since during my university days I focused a lot on gothic stuff, and the double is always a staple of gothic fiction. (I'm not saying this is a gothic novel of course but there are elements that come from the gothic tradition.)

Of course, one of the things I kept thinking was "is this going to pull a fight club on me?". There was a certain vibe that reminded me of Palahniuk's Invisible Monsters. Probably the fact that the whole sequence of events is very contrived and unlikely but it makes for a kinda creepy, weird and fun (if you like that sort of thing) ride. (Also, the endless parade of weirdos and creeps...)

I liked that, as the story went on, Adam kept becoming more and more like Bran; or was it that they had been more similar than they thought all along? I don't know, but I liked it. I liked that at some points I felt Adam was getting too much in character, so to speak. (Like what he did with the girl's fake passport and the edited video... that was fucking evil.)

I think some reviews miss the point that Adam is as fucked up as his brother from the start. He's just too much of a recluse to actually show it.

I liked how Adam went from saying that coke didn't do anything to him, to basically doing lines just to get on with stuff. That's a classic.

Also, back in my final year at university, I worked on Daphne Du Maurier's novels and short stories and she was quite a lot into the whole double/doppelgänger theme... so, I felt there was some kind of similar vibe.

And then there is the elephant in the room, namely the whole band subplot. This is where a Suede fan can start trying to decipher references and hints and jabs. I am of course a big fan of reading too much into things, it's one of my favourite hobbies, so...

I come from reading a couple of books about Suede and there were things that eerily reminded me of those bios (and I might be completely off track here but the thrown sticks episode stands out imho). The problem is, even though i've been a suede fan since the mid 90s, i don't know much besides what I've read recently about them so I surely missed some parallels... but anyway.

(In a way I think Mat played a kind of dangerous game there...)

So, summing up, I really liked it. I would like to discuss stuff with others who read it. I know i'm kinda late to the party...

[monsteroftheweekpodcast]

Hey Chris and Jeremy ! This is my first ever ask on Tumblr and the second time I've written into a podcast.

I'm very late to the party but I'm enjoying it nonetheless (this is about the pod in general, but also Supernatural). Still His Kingdom Keeps was recommended to me towards the end of last year when I'd literally just started my own Merlin rewatch ! Feeling quite alone during my first year of uni the Merlin rewatch was necessary, and it was great to meet and get to know you guys !! As someone who is a sad nerd, I really enjoyed your company (although I was quite horrified when you revealed how old you both were in one ep lol. The thought of me (a 20 year old girl) laughing her tits off at home alone to two middle(?) aged American men, really weirded me out. You'll be glad to hear that my friends all disagreed with this), because I must always create parasocial relationships with my fave podcast hosts :)

Anyway, I got to the end of SHKK and couldn't really part ways with you guys, and obvs heard you mention the Supernatural pod, so thought I'd hop on over to that. I've never seen any of Supernatural, but being in fandom I knew of Destiel. As I type this, I'm listening to ep.30 which is part way through season 4, so I'm making moves ! I don't know if I'll end up listening to all the episodes (a lot of people on Tumblr say to stop watching at the end of season 5, so I suppose I could stop there ?) but so far I'm enjoying it so much. I also don't think I'll ever actually watch the show because I'm a pussy and don't like gore/horror etc.

But I just wanted to send a message to let you know how much of a positive effect on people (you've heard it before, and no one will read this, but I wanted to put my two pence in !). It's stupid how much joy you bring and how much love I have for you. And who knows, maybe I'll get round to Non Human Biologies, even though again, I've never seen X-Files.

I never know how to end these...

Oh, I will also say, I adore the outtakes (kinda wish more pods I listen to did this !) even though AGAIN I know nothing about video games, anime/manga. I just like hearing you guys chat :)

Thanks for helping to make a dull girl's, dull life a bit brighter <3

Much love, Molly xx (she/her, 20, from UK)

Alright so first off, Chris isn't middle aged. Or at least he wasn't when we started (since then I've stolen all his youth).

Second: there's SO MUCH good Supernatural after S5 don't listen to the haters.

Finally, thank you SO MUCH for the kind words. It means so much to Chris and I when we get messages like this. Its still WILD to me that our dumb podcast about hunks (they're ALL about hunks) can have such an effect on people. We love you so much!!!! AHHHHHHH

[wyntereyez]

Okay, just a few more segments of screaming into the void, I promise. In Part Four, I'm gonna talk about my Dad's side of the family.

As a child, I spent more time with my mother's side of the family. Partly because they lived close by, but partly, I discovered later, because they blatantly played favorites.

There were six children on that side of the family, three boys and three girls. Four of those children were wonderful. Perfect. Could do no wrong. The middle son and daughter, however, were tolerated. Yelled at. And I think they were actually physically abused, though my Dad won't talk about it, just mentions that my grandpa used to be 'really mean.' My aunt was less reluctant to talk.

My grandpa was ex-military, and came from Arkansas. My grandma was his perfect little housewife: didn't even want to learn to drive, cooked and cleaned everything, took care of the children. Hell, she literally never even left the house unless they were going somewhere. There'd be family gatherings that were mostly outdoors and she'd insist all her daughters come inside and be with her. I don't think I ever saw her willingly step foot outside.

The four golden children were allowed to do anything they wanted. They got everything - often at the expense of the non-favorites.

And this passed straight on to the grandchildren. Once I was old enough to actually be aware, I noticed that my grandparents would go out of their way to do things for my cousins, but ignore us when we were in need. The reason I barely saw them as a child, and was never even baby-sat by them? They just didn't want to.

When we'd invite them to things, like my birthday when I was still young enough to enjoy parties, they'd come over and completely ignore me. I know, small child, lots of grown-ups, not exciting for anyone, right? Except that they turned my birthday into a family gathering for them, and I felt like an inconvenience.

And things got so much worse when I got older. As soon as I got old enough to actually talk to, the ONLY conversations they'd ever really had about me was if I had a boyfriend yet. And when I was an adult, everything was about when I was going to have kids. EVERYTHING. I literally can't remember any conversation with any of them that wasn't about them first talking about themselves, and then when they finally realized I should be part of the conversation, too, it was always, "So, have you met someone yet? When are you giving your dad grandchildren?" My Least Favorite Aunt once told me, after I explained for the millionth time that I didn't want kids, that I needed to have them because my Dad would make such a good grandpa!

Thanks. So glad my opinion on something that would change my life meant nothing.

I dreaded anything that included this side of my family. One of the worst instances was my graduation party. Unfortunately, the daughter of Least Favorite Aunt was graduating the same year, though from a different school. When my Dad said they were going to hold a party for us both, all I felt was dread, because I KNEW it wouldn't be my party. It would be a family gathering that celebrated my cousin, and barely tolerated me or any guests I wanted, like, say, my Mom's side of the family.

I was right.

My aunt took complete control. I had no say in the day, or the time. She scheduled it so my cousin could attend friends' parties. It was at the same time as two parties I wanted to attend. My last chance to form any sort of connection with classmates, which was already nearly impossible.

Well, my aunt was in charge of the invitations. She ordered them in two different colors, to represent each of our schools. She kept putting off giving them to us.

We kept asking. And asking. And asking. School ended for seniors, and I lost my chance to give them invitations. Not that any of them could come anyway, because they were all going to the two big parties.

By the time we FINALLY got them, a week too late for me to do anything, there were only eight of my invitations left. My aunt had run out of my cousin's, so she gave mine to coworkers.

And to add insult to injury, SHE'D SPELLED MY NAME WRONG ON THEM.

So, my graduation party was basically me watching my cousin getting tons of gifts from my Dad's side of the family, her dad's side of the family, and my aunt's coworkers. While I got fewer gifts from my Dad's side, and a few pity gifts from the coworkers who felt guilty. Gee, thanks, your $10 gift makes me feel so much better after seeing you give my cousin $50+.

The whole thing seemed to be designed to rub in how much less valued I was.

Another standout was a shared birthday party. This one was so bad, it even got my Dad angry. Two of my cousins have the same birthday. The family decided to throw a party just for fun. At this point, I was an adult, I'd just gotten off work, and had only come along reluctantly because I was already pretty sure of how this was gonna go.

See, their shared birthday was October 8. My birthday was October 4. I knew that no one was going to remember my birthday. (I was a little wrong; an uncle of mine did. He was the only one.) I wasn't going to say anything, but my Dad was getting annoyed, and told me to mention my birthday, so I finally did. Okay, I did get some satisfaction out of seeing them flail around. One of them ran across the street to get me the world's most pathetic birthday gift, a $5 scratch-off ticket in which I won $0. The aunt who'd purchased it said she'd never seen one of that type of ticket have no reward; usually you made back at least the $5.

But, yeah. I avoid this side of my family because I'm either ignored or treated like breeding stock. I never felt like family to them.

[3rensgf]

rent a gf - two eren yeager x reader

word count: 2.9k

warnings: mentions of sex, talks about "getting bitches", eren is an idiot, fuckboy!eren implied, tatbilb mention, uhh fluff idk theres not much to warn abt in here, not beta read

notes: chapter two is out! i'm really glad a lot of people are enjoying rent a gf. it really means a lot! i see some people commented on the previous chapter, and i would love to reply to them, but i'm not familiar with tumblrs commenting system D: if you wanna leave a comment for me to just read, that's fine you can still keep commenting here on tumblr. but if you would like me to reply to it, you can comment on ao3, and i will reply! happy reading :) p.s, waffles w whipped cream r so much better

[ read on ao3 ]

previous ✩ series masterlist ✩ next

In the early hours of Saturday morning, you felt a hand shaking your shoulder to wake you. Groaning and mumbling, you sleepily swatted the hand away and pulled the covers over your head. No one should be forced to wake up early on the weekends. It was Saturday, for fucks sake. Not to mention your hangover due to last nights mistakes was making your head throb.

The hand rested on your shoulder once more, shaking you gently. “(Y/N),” Mikasa said softly. “Your alarm has been going off for the past 10 minutes. Wake up. I have water and Advil.”

“Nooooo,” you moaned, snuggling deeper into your bed. “Don’ wanna.”

Mikasa stopped bothering you for a moment, and you let your guard down. Finally you could sleep. When it was time to wake up, you’d wake up.

Right as you were about to pass out again, your blanket was roughly tugged off of you. “Mikasaaa!” you whined, covering your face with your hands. “What was that for? I was trying to sleep.”

“Get up. You have to shower and get ready for lunch with Eren today. Breakfast is almost finished,” she explained, setting down the pills and water on your bedside table. “Go brush your teeth and wash your face so you can eat. Now,” she instructed sternly, moving to your window to open the curtains. The bright sunlight hit your still half-asleep face, making you hiss quietly.

She left the room moments after, probably to check up on breakfast. Honestly, you didn’t know how she could function this early in the morning despite having partied all night last night. Curse her and her inability to get hungover.

Grumbling to yourself, you adjusted your sleep clothes that had gotten disheveled overnight to make sure you looked decent. Your sleepy gaze wandered over to your nightstand to see two Advils on a napkin beside a glass of cold water. Thanking every higher power for sending Mikasa to you, you downed both pills and the glass of water. Even though you might bitch and moan to her constantly, you really weren’t lying when you said you’d die without Mikasa.

After sitting down at the edge of your bed for a few moments, you eventually shuffled into the bathroom to brush your teeth and do your morning routine. It took longer than usual thanks to your sluggish and tired movements, but you got done nevertheless.

A wonderful aroma came from the kitchen when you left, stomach grumbling in anticipation for the wonderful food you were about to scarf down. Mikasa was in the process of setting down both your breakfasts on the island, sitting down on the stools when you walked in. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” she greeted, resting her chin on her hands.

“Morning, sweet angel,” you replied, sitting at the stool beside her. In front of you was a plate of Funfetti pancakes with whipped cream instead of maple syrup (syrup was for pancakes only). There were a couple of cut up fruits beside them, too. “Where did you get these?” you asked, picking up your fork to take a bite of your breakfast.

Mikasa dug into her own breakfast of oatmeal as soon as you started eating. “Went grocery shopping and saw the mix in the baking aisle. I thought you’d like it,” she explained, taking a bite of her food. “Good?”

Your response was a moan, tilting your head back as you chewed. “Insanely,” you said, cutting up another bite. You stabbed the piece with your fork and guided it to Mikasa, keeping your hand under it to catch anything if it dropped.

She finished her bite and leaned in to take the bite, humming in satisfaction at the taste. “Good,” she nodded.

“They put like crack ‘n this shit,” you said through a full mouth, shoveling forkful after forkful into your mouth.

You could feel Mikasa's judging gaze for eating like a pig, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was eating these crack laced waffles as greedily as possible. “What time are you supposed to meet Eren today?” she asked to make conversation.

You remember drunkenly slurring to her that Eren was supposed to take you out for lunch today while she was trying to put you to bed. All she did was nod and dodge your flailing limbs while she tried to change you into your night clothes.

“Uhhh,” you trailed off, “I dunno actually. I think he’s gonna text me when.” The familiar notification from your phone indicated you had a text from Eren. “Right now.”

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:04 AM picking u up at 12 dont be late

you - 9:04 AM k

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:05 AM dont use k with me that makes me sad :(

you - 9:05 AM k

“He says 12,” you told Mikasa, setting your phone back down on the table. You went to go take another bite of your waffles, only to be met with stray bits of whipped cream and waffle crumbs. How disappointing.

“You have time to get ready then,” she said, finishing up the last bit of her own breakfast. Holding her plate, she got up to go put it in the sink, taking your plate for you as well. Literally an angel.

Suddenly, she leaned in to sniff you like the weird English professor you had your freshman year and cringed. “You’re gonna need all the time you can get. You stink.”

Never mind, not an angel.

Grumbling and cursing under your breath, you got off the stool to go take a shower. “And here I was about to offer to get you something for lunch while I was out.”

“A burger from the joint I like would be nice. So would a Coke and side of onion rings.”

“Size?”

“Medium for both.”

You would’ve caved in and bought her something, anyways. Might as well know what she wanted in the first place.

Showering took longer than expected. Most of your time got wasted by you standing under the shower stream and soaking in all the warmth. It wasn’t until Mikasa knocked on the door asking you not to use up all the hot water that made you actually start going through your routine.

The clock read 10:09 when you got out. You still had more time to kill until Eren came, so you elected to sit on your bed in your towel to scroll through social media. At 10:45, you started to get ready for real now.

Your makeup was just enough to cover any imperfections on your face, and your outfit cute enough for a lunch outing with your friend-fuckbuddy.

At 11:50, you stepped out into the living room with your belongings in hand to lounge around while you waited for Eren. You would’ve gone to bug Mikasa, but she had just stepped into the shower minutes prior.

12 on the dot, a rhythmic knocking was rapped on your door, meaning Eren was finally here. Skipping over to the door, you opened it to reveal him while slipping on your shoes.

“Hey,” he grinned when the door opened. He leaned in to give you a kiss on the lips after you’d straightened up from putting on your shoes.

A grin found its way on your lips during the kiss. It only lasted a couple of seconds, ending with you pulling away with a quiet smack. “Hi,” you greeted back.

“Ready to go?” he asked, one hand leaving his jacket pocket to jut his thumb down the hallway towards the elevators.

“Yup, ready,” you said. Over your shoulder, you yelled into the apartment to say goodbye to Mikasa and locking the door once you closed. “Okay, ready for real now.”

There was a new hot pot restaurant near campus, Eren told you, that he so desperately wanted to try. He overheard some people talking about the place in his Stats class, and he’s been wanting to go ever since.

“So, about what I told you last night,” he said, leaning on the table close to you after giving your orders to the waitress. “You said you would help me get Mina.”

“I said it was a bad idea,” you countered, taking a sip of your drink.

“But you said you would help me. For a price.”

“That I… did say,” you sighed. “What’s your plan?”

Smiling, he opened up his jacket and dug into the inner pockets, getting out a small notepad and a pen. Your eyebrows raised at the sight of them. “Okay,” he started, flipping through his notepad. “So I was thinking about it this morning, and this is what I have down so far.”

Sliding it towards you, he waited impatiently for you to read what he had.

Your lips pursed to prevent giggled from leaving your lips. Well, it was a plan, alright. Written in Eren’s chicken scratch of handwriting were a few very simple steps.

eren yaegers fool proof plan to get bitches get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. talk to mina to get her interested in you ✓ 2. get hot girl ((Y/N)) to pretend to be your gf and show you can be a good bf 3. get mina jealous so she wants you even more and not poopy thomas wanker 4. “break up” with (Y/N) and pretend to be sad 5. get mina to comfort you 6. get bitches make mina your gf 7. pay (Y/N) for her services 8. ta-da!

When you looked up from the notepad, you saw Eren waiting for your answer. “Well? What do you think? Is it any good?” he asked.

“Were you high when you wrote this?” was the first thing you asked him. Eren shook his head innocently. “You’re 100% serious?” He nodded.

You bit your lip, deep in thought about Eren’s supposedly fool proof plan. “What makes you think it’s gonna work?”

“I know girls and how they act. If Paradis University let me major in women -- don’t get smart with me I don’t mean Women Studies -- I would be passing all my classes with flying colors. I know it’ll work, trust me,” he said cockily, leaning back in his chair.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do. I know you. I know everything about you, (Y/N). I even know how to make you scream my name in--”

“Okay!” you cut him off, not wanting the strangers around you to know the intimate details of your sex life with Eren. “Okay.”

“I knew you were gonna do that. See, I do know women.”

A moment or two passed, both of you staring at each other. You with a deadpan expression, and him with a proud one. You were the first one to break the silence with a heavy sigh. “Okay, say I agree to this. What do I get in return?”

“Anything you want,” he said. “Within reason, of course. Please don’t ask me to like, hide a body or something.”

Ignoring his last comment, you continued speaking, “You’re not allowed to back out of whatever I ask you to, right? If this plan fails or succeeds, you still owe me whatever you promised.”

Eren nodded. “Of course. I swear on it.” He shifted a little so his elbow was on the table, holding out a pinky. Instinctively, you held out your pinky as well and intertwined the both of them. Pinky promises were something you and Eren had been doing for years now. It meant that the other was dead serious on their promise.

The waitress came back with your broth and dipping ingredients, setting them on the table for you right when your pinkes left each other. Thanking the waitress, the two of you talked some more while you waited for the broth to heat up.

“We should make it official. With a contract and set of rules,” he said. “Like that one movie you forced me to watch with you. The Boys I Loved or some shit like that.”

“To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before,” you corrected.

“Yeah, that. They’re kinda doing something like us, yeah?”

“Guess so,” you shrugged, picking up your chopsticks and a sice of pork belly when the broth started to boil. “After we eat though.”

Idle chatter was shared between the two of you as you ate. Even though you saw each other nearly every day, you never ran out of things to talk to. You could be talking about complete nonsense or how quantum physics made no sense, and you would still have the best time of your life.

By now, the broth had been drunk up and the table had been cleared out to be replaced with banana milk and ice cream. Eren brought out his notepad again to write down the set of rules for your fake relationship while enjoying your desserts.

Good progress had been written so far on the notepad. Both of you had given input and criticism on each rule made. In the end, you finally had a good set of rules written down.

(Y/N) and erens contract and rules for eren yaegers fool proof plan to get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. act normally. eren and (Y/N) act like a couple already. just double the pda a little more 2. don’t tell anyone about the deal. the more people who believe in the relationship, the more likely it is for the plan to work 3. post each other on ig a lot. maybe add names and a date to bios to make it more believable 4. date night every saturday (go out or just hang out) 5. go to parties together 6. walk each other to class if you can 7. call each other cute pet names 8. after breaking up, the couple act has to stop including the sex 9. DON’T SLIP UP

payment for (Y/N):

Eren tapped a beat on the notepad, reading “payment” over and over again. Eventually he looked up at you, deep in thought. “Have you thought of anything so far?” he asked, clicking the pen to write what you wanted.

This was a tough decision. Eren was ready to give you anything to help him get Mina. You had to be wise and pick something big to take advantage of him. Something you were sure you wouldn’t ever regret getting.

“How about,” you started, trailing off, “you do my laundry for the rest of our time at ParadisU, buy me lunch every Wednesday even after we break up, recommend that godsend of a tutor you keep gatekeeping to help me too, and…”

“And?” Eren asked, looking up from his writing, waiting for your next words.

“All the orgasms I want during our relationship,” you finished, satisfied with what you chose.

“Is that all?” he asked, writing down the last of your words. “That’s a lot.”

“How about I let you know if I wanna add more,” you said. Eren nodded in response. His head hung to look at the notepad again, writing something down. Once he was done, he plaed the pen on the pad and slid it to you.

“Sign it so it’s official,” he instructed.

There were two lines beside each other, one already with Eren’s signature. Without hesitation, you signed your name neatly on the paper, giving the items back to Eren once you were done.

(Y/N) and erens contract and rules for eren yaegers fool proof plan to get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. act normally. eren and (Y/N) act like a couple already. just double the pda a little more 2. don’t tell anyone about the deal. the more people who believe in the relationship, the more likely it is for the plan to work 3. post each other on ig a lot. maybe add names and a date to bios to make it more believable 4. date night every saturday (go out or just hang out) 5. go to parties together 6. walk each other to class if you can 7. call each other cute pet names 8. after breaking up, the couple act has to stop including the sex 9. DON’T SLIP UP

payment for (Y/N): eren has to do the (Y/N)’s laundry for the rest of university, buy her lunch ever wednesday, get tutor to help her and give her as many orgasms as she wants during the course of the relationship

signed x eren yaeger x (y/n) (l/n)

The two of you shook hands when Eren put away his things, to seal the deal again. The waitress came by again to give you the bill and collect your dirty dishes. Eren set down the cash needed to pay along with a tip in the check presenter before the two of you left.

You walked hand in hand back to Erens car before you realized you missed something. “Wait. What do we tell people when they ask how we got together?” you asked, pausing in your tracks.

Eren stopped with you, turning to look at you. “Um, you can say I confessed after lunch, and that this is technically our first date,” he suggested, tugging your hand to walk back to the car.

“Huh. Okay. That works,” you nodded.

The two of you got into the car a little bit past 2:30 in the afternoon, ready to go home. “Wait,” you said again, making Eren pause. “Mikasa wanted a burger from that one joint near our apartment. Could you take me there first?”

Eren smiled and nodded, starting the car. “Of course. Burger with medium Coke and onion rings?”

“How did you know?”

“She always gets that when we go there.”

“Huh… I guess you’re right.”

“When am I not?”

"Always."

taglist - @thestrugglesofateenagedirtbag , @lazalee , @countthemoons , @se-va-muriendo-mialma , @liaxxx109 , @prxttyguardian , @jeansbabycake

italic names, it wouldn't let me tag you!

3rensgf © 2021 ; do not repost or translate my work.

[hyunjinspark]

Hi Jade!! I'm finally here to read and give my thoughts on chapters 8 through 12 of star lost!! I know I'm late, I know and I'm sorry, I just had to take some time off social media but I'm so glad to be back to finally catch up with my favorite

This would be way too long if I were to say everything about these 5 chapters all in one ask so I'll split it up so you won't get tired of me lol (you still will get tired of me, I talk too much)

STARTING CHAPTER 8 AAAAAAA

I actually had read a little bit of chapter 8 when it came out but wasn't able to make it to the end due to busy life 😬 so I decided to read it from the beginning because I have a shitty memory and didn't remember enough to know exactly where I left

First of all, the beginning was already so beautiful and poetic, I can't get enough of saying how good of an writer you are, seriously. Just y/n describing the landscape and daydreaming is so relatable, I can't concentrate on anything else other than the landscaping when I'm traveling, and her saying it looked like something out of a Studio Ghibli film 🥺 my ghibli enthusiastic heart was pleased ❤️

Also how can Y/N not realize how in love she is with Hyun yet? I'd be panicking about it already, guess I'm too self-conscious haha

My man is here talking about Baekhyun and being excited and she's freaking out internally thinking about how bad she wants to hold hands with him. So cute.

I can imagine it perfectly.

This whole scene of them talking in the train was cute, I love it!

Hana asking what y/n talked about in the train and asking "what did he say about me?", I'm sorry I'm trying so hard to like her but things like that make it difficult, she's so self-centered omg and her stepping up to fix Hyun's hair when y/n was about to just do that aaaaa annoying

And Hyunjin being jealous of Felix?? Yes. I asked for it and I'm loving it.

Y/N CALLING HIM HYUN YES LOVE TO SEE IT.

I'm taking notes as I go through the chapter so I won't forget to mention anything and I feel like I'm talking alone lol

DID HANA JUST SAY Y/N HATED HYUNJIN TO THE WHOLE FUCKING ROOM? WHAT KIND OF FRIEND- and it's not even true... wow... I'm speechless, I thought things couldn't get worse

"Being my wingwoman certainly came in handy" how the fuck does she make everything about her? and why?

I guess the reason I dislike Hana so much is because she sounds like an old friend of mine but idk how everyone else feels about her so I'm feeling a bit bad so I hope I start to like her soon? Idk?

But anyways

I smell a truth or dare game coming, I can almost feel it, I know it'll happen sooner or later, it wouldn't be a party without it, right?

Hyunjin checking y/n out got me flustered and giggling like a 15 year old 🤡

Why is their dynamic reminding me of something I had with somebody I'd rather forget omg I'm gonna cry

Them holding hands 🥺 I love them

Felix seemed disappointed Hyunjin checked if y/n was hurt? What is going on? What is this tension? Oh I don't like this

Spin the bottle... of course... I'm not READY

Ok 5 minutes later... I'm ready (I think)

So Felix likes y/n? Is that it?

Hyunjin chose to drink that thing instead of kissing y/n.. ouch that hurt

Felix and y/n just kissed and weirdly I'm not mad at that at all, Felix is such a great friend and it doesn't matter if he did it because he has feelings for her or to get her out of an awkward situation (or both) he still obviously did the right thing

Hyunjin baby what were you thinking? I'm really glad there's more chapters to read, I have so many questions!! Thank you Jade for being amazing and writing so much for us ❤️ I'm so so impressed with this story, you're doing a fantastic job with this

And i'm so sorry this is too long, this was literally my thoughts between literally jumping from my bed and walking around my room trying not to scream and dancing bc I was excited. Yes this happened a lot.

Hope you have fun reading this mess though! (English is not my first language just ignore my mistakes pls kajskja)

Thank you!!

hi love !! thank you for sending in a detailed review. i love these so much because they inspire me a lot 🥺 ofc i wont get tired dont worry!

you’re so right, yn definitely is slow to realising when she was falling in love with him in part 8, it can be obvious based on her thoughts and feelings but she’s oblivious 😇 im so glad you liked the train scene, i love her monologue because its so simple (?) but so focused just wanting to hold his hand ☹️

your thoughts on hana were very interesting to read 😭 and ofc there’s a spin the bottle game… it wouldn’t be a party without one. :D

felix probably did have multiple reasons for why he did that, but in the moment, it definitely was the right thing to do!

i enjoyed reading your thoughts. thank you so much 🥺🫶🏻

[xnchxntmxnt]

Welcome to the party!

I hope you're ready for a fun time! I'm very happy everyone could make it and you all look great. More on the party later, I have a few words to say first.

I started this blog a year ago today after having barely any idea what the hell I was doing. All I knew is my wonderful friend Poe got me into a new anime and I'd absolutely fallen in love with it. I'd had a love of writing since I was ten, and I thought it was time to put that talent to use.

Words cannot describe how happy I am to still be active. I may not be as active as I once was, and I cannot update once a week like I used to, but I still appreciate all the support I get nonetheless.

Since then I've made so many friends, met so many people, got into new things and done things I never thought I would. I could talk for hours about all the friends I have because I love them all, but I'll try to keep these short so we can get to the more fun part...

@emswordss you were my first mutual and we still talk almost every day and that makes me so, so happy. you're so incredible and i'm happy i could be part of the journey you're on and help you with the crazy shit that is teenage years.

@domestic-void/@nekomas-kuroo my second mutual ever! i am so glad you let me write that lev fic its still the longest fic i've ever written for this (besides that one selfship thing but we aren't counting that)

@shoyotime/@miyamours my first wife <33 we havent talked in a while but i remember how much we did especially when i was first starting out. thanks for all the confidence boosts and all the weird conversations <3

@shirari we havent talked in so long !!! how are you? i don't know if you're really active anymore but i feel badcwe kinds lost touch

@ellesmain/@ellewords I MISS YOUUU ik finals suck i do but i miss seeing you on my dash!!! need my big sister once in a while yk <3 i hope finals are going well and that you're doing ok too! mayeb by the time you're back I'll have another taylor swift cover for you

@maizumis i havent seen you online in forever either !! we gotta talk soon!

@possiblypoe THE OG!!! this brilliant person got me into haikyuu it's her fault you all have to deal with me. poe you are so so so so so incredible and i KNOW how long you've been waiting for your matchup so go read and text me/send and ask and tell me your thoughts!!! love you (/p)

@mysterystarz/@nekonovs wife #2!!! thanks for being the crackhead in my discord dms over the summer /j. no but actually i know we dont talk as much as we did over the summer, mostly because we're both busy, but youre so amazing really. thank you for all the late night conversations and the akaashi brainrot

@k-kazvha i think you were my first genshin moot?? also happy late birthday!!! have fun dancing the night away with diluc. i said some of this yesterday on your birthday but i am SO glad we met you're so funny and honestly great to talk to. i ma not always comment on it but your posts make me laugh a lot (usually the shitposts). you're an incredibly talented writer thank you for being amazing

@rqkuya you literally know all my ocs in and out and you're so so so incredible to talk to about them. you always ahve the funniest one-liners and little ideas to add, and no matter how much you yell at me for throwing angst at them, you love me for it anyway. thank you so so much for making me feel like i always have someone to talk to about anything (usually characters, but even serious things) tor.

@merciemer DAD !! high key you're very like an older brother for me and i talk about you deadass all the time. you give me gender envy a LOT (but in a great way) and youre so pretty in like the most gnc way possible. you're absolutely hilarious and i feel my own parent friend instincts kick in once in a while when we talk but its because i care i swear <3

@animated-moon my fellow tendou simp. we really need to sit down and watch howl's moving castle one of these days. i'm still proud of that tendou fic for you i wrote not too long ago (or maybe it was, i have no perception of time) but it was really fun to write and you're just. so much fun to talk to we really need to talk more bc youre a riot in the best way ever

@kage7ama ANGEL THAT INTRODUCED ME TO THAT SONG— ok i still scream sing that and in the back of my head im thankng you for showing it to me i LOVE it thank you. i was so worried when you deactivated but its ok bc i got the new url <33

@kodzukoi ANOTHER ONE WHO HEARS ABOUT MY OCS i am so glad you're as into sk8 as i am (or almost, idk) and know that langa is giving u a forehead kiss rn. as am i (/p). but you're so easy to talk to and constantly reminding me that im not talking too much which i appreciate also you give the best compliments. jun kinnie (affectionate)

@rudolphsboyfriend AAAAA I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO READ UR MATCHUP URS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. but youre so talented like what the hell??? talented voice, talented writer, my irls hear about you all the time jfc i need to shut up about you sometimes. but yeah i just think you're super awesome man

@sunalma i missed you on my dash !!! im glad youre back though even if it's not as much. fun fact: i was SO SCARED to talk to you for so long but the more time went on the more time i got over myself and tried not to hit the send button on inbox asks and throw my phone to the other end of my bed

@miyagem LAST BUT NOT LEAST i think youre my newest mutual??? we talk a decent amount though so i already call u my friend <33 i definitely need to bother you more tho its fun youre great to talk to

that should be everyone its everyone in my notes w an emoji at least. if i forgot you i swear i didn't mean to !!!!

and an extra extra shoutout to all my anons + anyone who just likes to interact, even if through reblogs! ur messages/tags/anything else mean the world to me !! your support is mostly why i keep doing this and i wouldn't have hit 1 year if not for you.

nOW THAT THE SAPPY STUFF IS OVER BACK TO ME WRITING PROFESSIONALLY

quick preface: when in doubt assume everyone is 22. i don't care how that affects the plot of the original story your character is from, everyone is 22 so we can all drink champagne (if you choose). carry on

The night opens in a giant, golden, open ballroom, perfectly set white tables taking up a decent amount of room. Other tables line the walls, all covered in food (all with various coverings on it so it doesn't get too cold). Come in, take a seat wherever you like. Dinner starts soon.

The room is quiet, save the chatter of people finding seats. Three people stand in the center of the room with various kinds of musical nstruments—L, in the center, (@rudolphsboyfriend my beloved) Blue to their side and Semi Eita on their other. All three are smiling, however L is the most, seeing everyone make their entrances.

Once everyone is seated, he explains: one of his biggest passions is music and he has two incredibly talented friends that agreed to play with him for the first part of the night, then dinner, then the rest of the party as everyone pleases.

They make a speech about how appreciative they are for everyone (see above for that) and the three of them play their set. Music kicks on, they announce dinner is open, and the rest of the night is yours for the choosing.

Do enjoy and tell me how spend your time!

Event Content!

playlist for the night

✧ drabbles ✧

@merciemer - dancing with matsukawa issei @kage7ama - people watching with diluc ragnvindr @animated-moon - eating dessert with tendou satori @rqkuya - xiao (yours didn't get a name but i swear its for good reason) @terushimatwinn - balcony conversations with miya atsumu @kodzukoi - car conversations with langa hasegawa

✧ matchups ✧

for @emswordss ✧✧✧ for @keijinn ✧✧✧ for anon ✧✧✧ for @duckymcdoorknob ✧✧✧ for @possiblypoe ✧✧✧ for @rudolphsboyfriend ✧✧✧ for 🌱 anon ✧✧✧

✧ other additions ✧

my evening with kaoru sakurayashiki

If you didn't get a chance to participate and want to (or you did, and want to add onto what I came up with), please do! Send it in as a submission or inbox message, or just tag me in a post you make! I'd love to add it to the main post!

Only rule about this is you cannot double characters. There are a few taken already, but if you would like to participate, please choose someone else that hasn't been listed in one of the drabbles/matchups to save everyone the confusion.

Thank you all so much again. I could not have done this all without you and I appreciate everyone that follows and interacts with me more than you all know. I hope to do something like this next year around this time if life permits. Other than that, get a drink, some dancing in, talk to new people—the night is yours! Enjoy the party.

[tuiyla]

Favorite things about Santana that aren't related to Brittany/Brittana?

A similar ask I answered the other day also listed things completely unrelated to Brittany but I'll never say no to even more favourite things about Santana.

Let's do five again (I'll go on and on anyway):

I sort of touched on this in that above-mentioned post, where I didn't list her coming out journey because I think all my other favourite things about her intersect. But I'll highlight it here anyway that her sexuality and the story around it is so monumental in so many ways. Even just separating it from the massive irl impact for a second, it's a fascinating journey from background cheerleader to someone with her own story. I love that she goes from scared looks and whispered words in hallways to casually introducing herself as a lesbian. You know what that is?

Is it weird if I say comphet? Because for that growth to really land she had to start somewhere and that was being the school slut who "never said no". It's tragic to view season 1 and 2 through these lens because it's clear, especially in season 2 where it was intentional, how miserable she's making herself. But it makes for a super interesting and emotional journey with lots to analyse, since what she says is rarely what she means.

I really love how observant she is. It's such a consistent trait which should be highly treasured in a show like Glee. Call it a sixth sense or her "psychic Mexican third eye", Santana is extremely good at reading situations and people and again it makes watching her and her interactions so delightful. I said Slytherin!Santana rights, dammit, but not cos ~she's evil~ or whatever.

To say things that aren't from a media analysis nerd perspective lol (but still kinda), I love her relationships. And I know you asked for non-Brittana things so that's why I'm highlighting that she has lots of really cool dynamics with people. Sancedes, my beloved, and Pezberry both take up huge portions of my heart but I really just love every interaction Santana has with people. Maybe that shows how great of an actress Naya was but I really just want to know more about every connection she has. I'm mostly talking brOTPs but like, with literally everyone. Even when she doesn't get along with someone, which does happen often, I'm like yes please these scenes are great.

Finally, and this is sort of strange but hear me out, one of my favourite things about Santana is her fans. I'm very glad to have been late to the Glee party because this fandom was legendary in an infamous way, but I've been trapped in Glee hell for over a year now and I love Santana fans. I don't love the in-fighting of the Glee fandom but I'm so happy that this character (who's the main reason why I'm stuck with this show) has so many passionate, talented fans. I'm just happy people like her, basically, and that I get to read fics and analyses and see stunning art because she spoke to so, so many around the world. There'll never be another Santana Lopez.

[kpop---scenarios]

Over Time

Commissioned by: @my-loves-18

Pairing: Shownu x Reader

Warning: Mentions of Violence, Angst, Smut

Word Count: 3.8k

"You're just jealous." Your best friend, Steph chuckles, nodding her head towards Shownu with his arm wrapped around a girl. 

"Jealous of what exactly?" You scoff while rolling your eyes. 

"Hey, Y/N." Shownu yelled from across the lawn. Despite you hating him and your assumed dislike he had for you, he still tried to get under your skin. Well not tried, succeeded. He enraged you, not made you jealous. 

Pfft. 

You may be a lot of things, but jealous was not one of them. 

"You have to make a comment everytime you see him with a girl, or just see him in general, Y/N, and with me dating Wonho we're around him alot." She says. 

You know she's right, but it's not like you dislike him for no reason. You had two, and to you they were very valid. 

The first one, you hated the way he treated women. Every party you went to, his arm was wrapped around a new girl every time, when you'd see him out, he was with a new one. You'd heard plenty of girls crying in the bathroom after just seeing them together, and it wasn't hard for you to put two and two together. He was a typical frat guy, who did the typical frat guy thing of sleeping with a ton of girls and throwing them out after he was done with them. You didn't care if he slept with thousands, just treat them better. 

The second thing that made you really despise him, was the fact that he dropped a beer on you at your first frat party of your Sophmore year and laughed while high-fiving his friends, leaving you completely embarrassed. 

"Whatever, I'm not jealous. I have class." You say, giving her a small wave before walking away.

It was the first day of your junior year and you wanted this one to be the best one yet, since you knew next year was going to be your last. 

You walk into your math class, scoping out the people you would be with for the next few months, when one person in particular caught your eye. 

Kim Namjoon. 

You had seen him around campus last year, and the immediate attraction you had felt for this man was powerful. He crossed your mind off and on all throughout the summer and you made a vow that you would talk to him if he was ever in one of your classes. 

Taking a deep breath, you walk over to where he was sitting and clear your throat. 

"This seat taken?" You ask Namjoon, sliding in beside him before he can even answer. 

"No." He coughs, clearing his throat, and goes ahead. "Hi, I'm Namjoon." He says, holding his hand out for you to shake. 

Oh you know. 

"Y/N." You smile, excited to see what this year brings. 

** 

Over the next few days, you and Namjoon are unable to stop talking to each other. Your heart skips a beat everytime you see him, the butterflies in your stomach act up whenever you even think about him. 

Was this love? Is this what it felt like? Because if it was, you were here for it. 

However, everytime you interacted with Namjoon in any way, you felt like someone was staring at you, as if someone was burning holes in your back. Finally after a week, you got tired of it, turning around to see who had an issue. 

Shownu sat there with his arms crossed, eyes staring right at you and Namjoon. You could see Namjoons face become frightened as he quickly looked away from Shownu, looking almost guilty. 

"God that guy." You mumble, feeling annoyed. 

"You know him?" Namjoon asks, avoiding eye contact.

"Kinda. Same friend group. My best friend is dating his best friend." You say. 

"So you're not close with him?" Namjoon asks, looking relieved. You shake your head no, which makes Namjoon smile but for some reason, this smile felt different. It was cold and creepy, but you shrugged it off, not thinking too much into it. 

Later that evening, you sat inside the frat house, gushing about your week with Namjoon to Sarah when Wonho and Shownu walked in the room. 

"Kim Namjoon?" Wonho asked, sitting beside Sarah, wrapping his arm around her.

"The one and only." You chuckle. 

"Careful with him. We've heard things." Shownu says, plopping down on the couch opposite of you. 

"Pfft. What things?" You scoff, not believing him. 

"His last girlfriend went missing, Y/N." Shownu says. "Just be careful." He finishes, standing up and walking towards the front door. 

Your stomach dropped.

Was it true? 

On Friday you woke up grumpy as all hell. Shuffling your feet down the hall, you enter the kitchen where Sarah stands, drinking a cup of coffee while you yawn largely. 

"Late night?" She asks, pouring you a cup of coffee. 

"Yeah, I don't know. What Shownu said to me was playing through my head, but I don't know if I believe him." You tell her. 

"Just be careful. I don't have a good feeling." She tells you, with a sympathetic smile. 

**

That weekend you spent your days not doing homework, no, you spent your time googling everything you could find related to Namjoon and his previous girlfriend and what you came up with was astonishing. 

Nothing. You found nothing that linked Namjoon to any type of disappearance. You read about a young girl going missing, but Namjoons name was nowhere to be found. That was when you decided to not take anything Shownu had to say seriously. Clearly he enjoyed just fucking with you and making you panic. 

** 

Saturday night you went back to the frat house for a party, hoping to see Namjoon there, along with hoping that maybe, just maybe Shownu would sit this one out but to your luck, he didn't. 

The moment you walked in, you felt a pair of eyes on you. Looking around you see Namjoon staring at you. You smile at him, walking towards him but something stops you, another pair of eyes, burning into your skin. Looking up you see Shownu staring at you, his eyes going in between you and Namjoon. He shakes his head no to you, telling you not to go over there. You roll your eyes, walking to Namjoon anyways. You didn't understand what Shownu's deal with you was. He only likes to crack jokes at your expense and taunt you, why was he acting like this now that you were interested in someone? 

Sarah had told you it was because he was into you, but you couldn't believe that. There were no signs, he was always mean to you. Plus you did not like him at all. She was delusional, right? 

"Y/N. Can I talk to you?" You hear from behind you. Shownu standing there, looking worried. 

"No Shownu. Butt out." You sigh, walking away. 

You ignored the nagging feeling in your stomach as you walked towards Namjoons extended hand, ready to see where the night took you. 

** 

Monday morning you walked into your classroom, a smile on your face that you could not shake. Your night with Namjoon had gone perfectly. The two of you had gone for a walk before going to get some ice cream and then sat at a 24 hour Cafe and just talked. You talked about everything, family,  friends, school, life. It was perfect and you were falling hard. 

"Are you okay?" You hear, making you come out of your happy bubble. 

"I'm fine why?" You ask, looking at Shownu with a blank stare. 

"Just checking. Sorry." He mumbles, walking back to his seat as Namjoon glares at him, sitting beside you. 

** 

Over the next few weeks, your high of going out with Namjoon began to quickly dwindle into becoming scared of him. If you didn't call him back within two minutes he got very angry. 

"Hey , sorry I was talking to Sarah." You laugh, the phone against your ear. 

"Yeah sure. Probably fucking someone else like a whore." Namjoon spit. 

"What? No, I was literally talking to Sarah." You whisper. 

"Yeah, you better have been." He snaps before hanging up. 

 If you ignored him, he showed up at your apartment. 

Sunday night you heard a frantic knock at your door. 

Knock 

Knock 

Knock

"Open up Y/N! I know your home!" He yelled through the door. You quickly unlocked the front door, Namjoon pushing his way inside. "Why are you ignoring me!" He yells. "Who's here!? Where is he? I heard shuffling. You're probably hiding him in the bathroom, aren't you?" He yells, storming to the bathroom. 

"Im studying!" You say, pointing to your books scattered across the floor. "This is too much." You sigh. He apologizes after looking in the bathroom, the crazy in his eyes still lingering. 

The two of you weren't even dating yet and he was very controlling and possessive and you didn't want it. 

On Monday you sat at the opposite end of the classroom, away from Namjoon. You could feel his eyes burning into your skin. You turned around and saw Shownu staring at him, making sure he knew he was watching. 

"Why didn't you sit with me?" Namjoon asked, grabbing your hand as you exited the room, pulling you to a corner. 

"Look, I don't want to see you anymore. I'm done. Leave me alone." You say, walking away and feeling relieved. 

With your head down, you continue walking down the hall, accidentally bumping into someone on your way. "I'm so sorry." You say, looking up to see Shownu standing there. 

"No worries5." He smiles at you, making you smile. 

"Look.. I'm sorry I've been butting in with you and Namjoon. The dudes just not right." Shownu expresses. 

"I know. And I'm sorry for not believing you.. I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. He's scaring me." You tell him. 

You're not sure why you were telling this to Shownu. Maybe it was the fact that he had been so nice to you, so concerned about you. You weren't sure. 

"I'm glad you're okay." He says. 

"I still don't like you." You mumble, beginning to walk away. 

"Woah, woah, what did I ever do to you?" He asks. 

"Seriously? The beer poured all over me?" You scoff. He laughs. 

"That was an accident." He says. "It wasn't meant for you specifically, you just happened to be under there." He clarifies. 

"Well I don't like the way you treat your conquests." You say, crossing your arms. 

"My conquests?" He asks with a laugh. 

"The girls you sleep with and the dump." You explain.  

"Which girls are those? Because I haven't gotten laid in like 6 months." He laughs. 

"Then why are you always with a different girl? Why are some of them crying after being alone with you?" You ask, crossing your arms. 

"I do have friends that are girls. And when they're crying, it's usually because they're having issues with their own boyfriends." He chuckles. "Contrary to popular belief, I don't just fuck anything with two legs and a vagina." He tells you. "I only sleep with someone if I like them." He finishes, giving you a small wink before walking away. 

Had you really been wrong about him this entire time? Hating hkm for something he wasn't even doing instead of giving him the benefit of the doubt. Honestly you felt a little shitty for the way that you had treated him all the time and assumed how he was acting. 

Walking to your apartment, you don't feel the gaze of Namjoom on you, as he follows you, making sure you're heading there alone. 

As you walk down the street, you can faintly hear the sound of footsteps behind you. You try to peek over your shoulder to see who's there, but you can't see anyone, only your shadow from the dimly lit street lights. Your stomach is in knots as you pick up your pace, just wanting to get home and feel safe. 

You round the corner of your apartment, bolting up the stairs as fast as you can, noticing a figure behind you catching up. Your hands shake as you find the key and slide it into the lock, hoping you can make it before he reaches you. 

You knew it was Namjoon. You knew he was pissed you wanted to end things, and he knew you were scared of him and he decided to use this to his advantage, knowing when you get scared, you get clumsy. 

"Hi baby." He whispers in your ear, covering your mouth with his hand and pushing open the door to your apartment. 

You were so close. 

That evening Sarah had messaged you reminding you she would be out of town for the week with Wonho, visiting family. 

"I remembered. But judging by the look on your face you forgot and hoped she would be home tonight. Sorry baby." Namjoon whispers, stroking your cheek. "So beautiful." 

**

Wednesday. 

[7:29pm] Hey Shownu, it's Sarah. Can you check on Y/N? It's been a few days and she hasn't responded to me. I'm worried. 

[7:31pm] I'm on my way. 

** 

Shownu arrives at your apartment, his hand up ready to bang on the door, when he hears a voice. Pressing his ear to the door, quietly, he immediately recognizes the faint voice of Namjoon. You try to reply but he can only hear mumbles. You couldbt be tied up.. could you? 

Shownu juggles back and forth for a minute, deciding what to do, and ultimately he decides to go for the safest bet. He walks away from your door, pulling out his phone to call his cousin, who just happens to be a cop. 

"Hey Seo-Joon, it's Shownu. Look, I might be overreacting but…" he goes on to explain the situation and how he thinks you're being held against your will. 

"Don't worry, we're on our way. Hang tight." Seo-Joon says, reassuring him. 

A few minutes later, Seo-Joon, along with five other officers walk up the stairs, joining Shownu as he points to which apartment is yours. 

The police count down before they break down the door, three men rushing in to tackle an unsuspecting Namjoon, who swore up and down everything was consensual, while you barely sat in a chair, rope burns around your wrist and ankles and torso, showing that you had been trying to escape, your body limp and bruise. 

Shownu rushes towards you, untying you and holding you until the ambulance comes, riding with you to the hospital and not leaving your side for a minute. 

Sarah and Wonho came home as soon as they could, Sarah feeling so guilty about leaving you, even though no one could have truly predicted this. 

Namjoon had been arrested and was awaiting trial as you healed from the terrible experience. You were assured you would never have to see him again, as he was now also being looked at for the disappearance of his previous girlfriend. 

As time went on, you and Shownu slowly became closer. He visited you at the hospital often, then when you were home, he practically lived in your apartment. 

When you got better and started going out, he was always around you, if not beside you, he was close enough that if you needed him, you could call and he would hear you. 

The second frat party you attended is where he kissed you for the first time. 

You had excused yourself from the dance floor, feeling flushed and a little thirsty, you made your way to the kitchen for a drink. Shiwnu came in behind you asking you if you were okay and if you needed anything. You were leaning against the wall when he walked over to you, his body just barely pressing against yours. 

"W-what are you doing?" You ask, your throat suddenly dry. 

"Can i see something?" He asks. You nod your head yes, and he leans in for a kiss. 

You melted. 

He pulled away, smiled and walked away. 

Oh boy. 

 The next week, neither of you talked about what happened at the last party. However, that weekend you found yourself pinned against a wall, your legs wrapped around his waist as he aggressively slid his tongue into your mouth. 

Shownu pulls himself away, letting you slowly slide down his body until you're level on the ground. 

"Fuck." He groans, giving you a smile and a wink before walking back to the party. You were definitely starting to like him. 

You had tried to ask him about it on Tuesday in class, and he told you to "just let it flow." 

You weren't sure what he meant, so you left it alone and went on with your week. 

That next weekend as you walked into the frat house, your body instinctively moved toward Shownu, but you decided you wanted a drink first. You smiled as tiu stared at the wall that just last weekend he had you pressed against. 

"Whatcha smiling at?" Sarah asks, walking behind you to pour herself a beer. 

"Ahh, nothing." You nervously chuckle. You knew she'd be happy for you, but honestly you didn't even know what the two of you were, if anything so why get excited over nothing? 

You and Sarah took a few shots, getting nice and tipsy before heading to the dance floor. You were feeling a little sad you still hadn't seen Shownu. The song changed as the two of you walked over there. You began rolling your hips to the beat, your eyes finally meeting Shownu's. He lickdd his lips as he watched you dance, shaking your hips and ass, keeping eye contact with him. 

When the song finished, you tried to get yourself another drink, but instead of making it to the kitchen, you found yourself being dragged up the stairs by Shownu. 

He pulled you into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind you.

"Can I help…" you began before being cut off by his lips. 

"You are so sexy." He groans, his lips never leaving yours. He pushes himself against you, letting you feel his hard cock through his jeans.  

"I want you." You moan, moving yourself so he will pick you up. 

You wrap your legs around him as he moves you to the bathroom counter, sitting you down, never breaking the kiss, grinding his cock into your already wet clothes pussy. 

Shownu parts your legs as he pulls your ass closer to the edge of the counter, gripping his large hands tightly to your thighs.

He drops to his knees, pulling down your panties licks, with your help. You both were thanking you for wearing a skirt tonight. Shownu places your legs over his shoulders, leaning you back to get better access. Bending down, he llicks a strip up your already sopping cunt,  causing shivers to trickle down your spine.

“Fuck” you groan as he latches his luscious lips to your clit, sucking harshly.

You move your hands to his head, gripping a fist of his hair as he flicks his tongue against your clit, while you grind your self in his mouth. 

Shownu reaches his hand up, slipping under your shirt, cupping your breast before pinching your nipple, rolling it in between his fingers.

“Just like that” you cry out. "Fuck." You grunt your orgasm building.

Shownu flicks his tongue faster, switching between using his licking and sucking. 

Your grip on him tightens as your orgasm comes closer, a few more long licks and you’re sent over the edge, letting out a string of cries and curses words as your body shudders, harshly grinding yourself against his face. 

Shownu pulls away from you, licking his lips with a smile on his face. 

You push him back, sliding off the counter before dropping to your knees. 

Reaching up you unbutton his pants, yanking them down, along with his boxers, allowing his cock to spring free. 

Your mouth waters as you stare at his large, thick cock, his red tip dripping with pre cum. You wrap your hand around his large shift before taking his tip in your mouth, sucking harshly, lapping up the cum. 

"Damn baby." He groans, throwing his head back. You begin taking in as much of him as you can, moving your hand from in the way. 

You gag on his cock as you deep throat Him, making him hiss in pleasure. 

Taking him from deep in your throat, you twirl your tongue around his tip while pumping him at the same time. 

"Holy fuck." He moans, not wanting you to stop. "If you wanna fuck, you're gonna have to stop." He cries. 

You halt your movements, taking him from your mouth, before standing up and bending over the bathroom counter. 

"Fuck me." You cry, shaking your ass for him. 

You can hear Shownu groan as he watches you stand there, bent over, waiting for his cock. 

"Gladly." He growls, lining himself up with your entrance before pushing himself inside you. 

"Your cunt feels so good." He moans, thrusting in and out of you. Your hands grip the counter tightly, your fingertips turning white. 

"Harder." You cry. Shownu pounds his cock inside of you, the sound of skin snapping fills the bathroom. 

There's a knock at the door that shocks ykh both, but Shownu yells for them to fuck off, his orgasm building. 

You rub your clit, your second orgasm coming on quicker than your first, taking no time to wash through your body, making you cry out. 

"Shit im gonna cum." Shownu grunts, pulling himself out of you before pumping his cock to cum all over your back. "Fuck I'm sorry." He says, making you chuckle. 

"Just loan me one of your shirts." You smile. 

"Now that I can do." He says, grabbing your hand to take you to his room. 

Later that week Shownu asked you to be his girlfriend, which you happily accepted. He had told you, he knew that over time you'd come around to be with him. And he was right. 

** 

It had been a few months and you had never been happier. You and Shownu were still going strong, and Namjoon was being held in prison. Life was actually really good, it felt like nothing could bring the tso of you down. 

"Hello?" Shownu says, answering his phone. His face goes confused, putting his phone on speaker. 

"Y/N." You hear, it's Seo-Joon. 

"Oh, hi." You giggle. 

"Look.. i don't know how to tell you this but Namjoon was released. The judge decided there wasn't enough evidence." He sighs. 

Your body begins to tremble at the thought of Namjoon roaming the streets again. Just as you feel like you're about to cry, there's a knock at your door, and your stomach drops. 

[kachulein]

The day Tumblr decides to fix its bugs and shit I swear I'll hold a party for all my followers 😭😭 and it's okay!! You don't have to be sorry, I was just worried because I thought something happened to you but knowing that you're doing fine makes me happy ❤️❤️ And talking about my exams... Well, I did my best LMAO I'm still waiting for my scores to be posted because yes my teachers are lazy af and need a whole and entire month to write the scores on the app🙂

Ooohh I've heard so many good things about acupuncture treatment!! My dad took one session to control his anxiety and he liked it quite a lot. What a pity that I'm a coward and am afraid of needles🤡 I'm shaking for when I have to get the vaccine LMAO Everyone be out there being scared because of the vaccine and here I am being scared because of a fucking needle 🤡🤡 And I'm so sorry to hear that you got all the side effects of the vaccine 😣😣 I really hope you're feeling better now❤️❤️ I still have to wait until the end of July/beginning of August to get mine😔 How did your exams go?? I remember you told me the other day you did well on one of them!! 👏🏻👏🏻 I'm sure you nailed them❤️❤️

It's been already 1 year and a half since the last time I could see them😭 Fortunately before covid arrived I could meet them all in Thailand (my uncle lives there) during Christmas because if not it would have been 2 years 😭 And about the ideas of writing... Well... I think I should get banned from watching videos about idols LMAO every time I watch a comeback or something an idea for a fic pops up in my mind and I end up with 382773 ideas on my notebook LMAO

IKR😭 The feelings both of them hold in the song UGH😭😭 It makes me sob🤧

About those two new groups... I just saw the MVs... O H M Y F U C K I N G G O D 🙂 BOWKHLUDQHFIYDQ THEY'RE AMAZING🤩🤩 What's happening with nowadays rookies😭

I've been really into sf9 lately, like REALLY INTO🤧 And actually really into their company groups aka Nflying and P1Harmony 🤧 like have you watched the it's live for Moonshot of Nflying?? HOW ARE THEY SO GOOD😭 And then there's P1Harmony with two amazing albums I can't stop singing and dancing to🙂 what do they eat to be all swaggy and perfect being literally babies? I want to know because I'm older than all of them and all I have done in my life is manage to not burn the kitchen while heating my glass of milk before going to bed🤡🤡

Omg yes right, pls fix the bugs tumblr😭😭😭 and thank you so much for understanding!!😭💖 I didn't mean to worry you :( I wrote a long ass answer and rambled on like always and tumblr just decided to eat the ask, I'm really sorry :(

I hope you're doing good yourself and have you gotten your exam grades already? I'm sure you did amazing!!🥺💖💖 I can honestly feel you so much because it's the same for us as well. It usually takes 3 weeks for us to get our exam results, so I'll probably have to wait another two weeks to see how I've done... I really hope it was good alkfleldksld (and I meant to tell you that I think it went well but I don't have the result yet so I'm not sure yet,,, but thank you so much!!😭💖)

I'm so glad the acupuncture helped your dad managing his anxiety! Anxiety is one of the main reasons I get acupuncture treatments and I slowly start to see an improvement with less panic attacks and being able to handle the anxiety better.🥺 I'm sorry to hear you're scared of needles :( I know it's not really helping but the acupuncture needles are so thin you pretty much don't feel anything.🥺👉🏻👈🏻 And lemme tell you something funny, I had an another session yesterday and got some needles in my butt-😂 I really hope getting the vaccine won't be too bad for you😭💖 I've recovered from the sife effects again and I'm feeling a lot better now and knowing that I'm already protected for around 88% makes me feel a lot more safe, so I hope it will be good for you in the end, too!!🥺 After getting the vaccine at the end of July/beginning of August will you be able to go back home to see your family in August already?🥺💞 And omg, that's been such a long time :( I'm sorry you haven't been able to see them for so long :( You must be so happy to finally be able to reunite with them again. I hope you'll have an amazing time!!🥺💖

Omg akxksso I can see how that's a struggle but I also think it's admirable how creative you are and how you find writing inspiration in everything! That's so cool and something you can be proud of!!🥺 I used to always dream up scenarios in my head when falling asleep and ended up making them into fics😂👉🏻👈🏻

And yes, right!! I agree. I love their voices so much!!😭🥺 And omg yes, these rookies nowadays are so powerful😭😍 I'm really looking forward to their future comebacks.💞 And omgggg although, I don't stan these groups I know them and listen to their songs and I can only agree!🥺 I've just watched the it's Live version for N.Flying's Moonshot and god, it's so good and their voices are *chef's kiss*👌🏻 I also gotta say, N.Flying has absolutely amazing songs anyway! They're often those songs I listen to on repeat.😭😭😭 Rooftop is my absolute fave!!💖 Also fun fact, while answering this ask, I was listening to P1Harmony (Scared - such an amazing song), so I can totally feel you!! And on the age thing🤡 I feel you, again🤡 For me, it's the same with Enhypen. They're all younger than me and I feel like a good for nothing grandma👵 looking at them-😂😂😂

[aaronbleyaert]

I think maybe I need a recent awful/awkward/assy story about how you're so bad with women. I'm starting to think it's just a ruse. I think you're actually a casanova.

That’s me! Mr. Casanova. Here is, no joke, my most recent date I’ve been on. It’s long, but you asked. Ready? 

So.

There’s this girl whom I’ve known for a few years through mutual friends. We’ve never hung out and I haven’t spoken to her in a good three years (and the last time we “spoke” was over Facebook Messenger).

A few months ago, she messages me out of the blue, saying she just saw my short film and liked it. We go back and forth, and since all of Facebook is ruined for me because I get so many messages on there every day, I eventually just give her my email address. 

We email back and forth for a while, and I’m like, “Look, this is dumb, but if you’re ever in LA, text me and we can grab coffee”. It’s what we call in the business “a sad and pathetic attempt at sort of asking a girl out”. Unbelievably (and I read the text three or four times in a row because I literally cannot believe it) she texts me the next day and says she’s coming to LA the following Tuesday and that I should have dinner with her. 

I break out in a preemptive nervous sweat.

Now, first off, this girl is way out of my league. I mean, WAY out of my league - she’s funny, smart, super weird, and gorgeous. It’s ridiculous. Also, I mention I own a Brontosaurus egg (aka “Sexual Kryptonite”) and she actually gasps and says that she wants to see it. Is this my perfect woman?

Also, no one ever comes after me or makes a move on me or hits on me, ever, so I’m a bit taken aback (and if I’m being honest might have had a fleeting thought or two that maybe this was some sort of trap and she was going to murder me) but I’m weird and paranoid not stupid so I say yes to dinner.

The day she’s supposed to come to LA for dinner rolls around, and I end up having to do a last minute shoot at work so I have to cancel the morning of. It’s shitty and I know it. She’s bummed, but she’s like “why don’t you just meet me after your shoot and we can still have drinks” but I don’t know how late it’s going to go and she’s way out of my league anyway and probably doesn’t actually want to have drinks or see the Brontosaurus egg but is just being nice because she’s a good person on top of everything else so I apologize profusely and decline. She’s cool about it. Too cool. SHE’S TOO COOL. Anyway, she makes me promise that I’ll come down to San Diego to see her. Laughing, 100% not believing that she’s serious and still wants to see me, I say “Sure. Sounds good”.

But she was serious. She wants me to come down and see her. 

So we pick a day that works. It’s a Saturday. I’m pretty nervous because this woman is literally out of my dreams but goddamn it man we have to at least TRY to not die alone right so I buy a ticket. 

The night before I’m supposed to go, my friend Sona has a holiday party at her apartment. It’s really fun, but I have a very early train to take the next morning to go and visit my probable soulmate so I’m keeping the drinking light. But then two very bad things happen:

1.) Sona makes her infamous Death Punch.

2.) My ex-girlfriend shows up to the party.

It’s a small party. My ex is The Worst. I start drinking heavily. 

My ex and I start talking. More death punch. I am really, really, REALLY trying to not be an asshole, but fuck man, I’m only human and I end up saying a lot of bad shit to her face. I drink even more death punch, get in a parting shot at my ex (I’m pretty sure it was something about her looking like Tom Petty) and Uber home.

I wake up the next morning to my cellphone ringing. It’s my soulmate.

“Hey! What time is your train getting in?”

I look around at my bedroom. All the lights are on. I’m fully clothed. My shoes are on. 

Shit.

I tell her that I got too drunk the night before, and that I’m not coming. She’s like “are you serious?” And I try to make a joke but internally I am screaming at myself WHY. AM. I. SUCH. A. FUCK. UP.

Feeling worse than I possibly have ever felt IN MY LIFE, I promise this girl that I will come down and see her soon. Then I text my ex and apologize for the things I said. To her credit, she’s gracious about it. I want to light myself on fire.

A week passes, and my soulmate and I text back and forth. She’s still talking to me for some reason and we figure out another time for me to come down to San Diego to see her. We pick a Saturday. I buy my ticket. This time, to make sure I don’t miss my train, instead of going out I stay home and spend the night imagining my ex doing bong hits onstage while singing “Free Falling”. It only sort of cheers me up.

The next day, I finally get my dumb ass on the train.

If you’ve never taken the train from Los Angeles to San Diego, I cannot recommend it enough. It’s called the Pacific Surfliner and for two and a half hours, it runs right along the most gorgeous coastline and bluest goddamn ocean you’ll ever lay your eyes on. I’ve only got about a half hour left when the thought hits me: “Wait, what the fuck am I doing?”

I barely know this girl. She’s way out of my league. I’m a sad old man with a sack of old jokes and two sleeves full of rubbery muscles. How could this girl possibly want to talk to me? What if she really was just being nice? Maybe I’ve read this all wrong and she just wants work advice. Yeah. That’s probably it. I mean, what else would we even talk about? What are we going to DO?! Shit! I haven’t planned a fucking thing! Should I make a dinner reservation?! Fuck! Should I have spent these last two hours researching cool shops and museums?! What if I miss my train back?! What then?! WHY DIDN’T WE PLAN AHEAD!? GODDAMN IT, BLEYAERT! and on and on and on ad nauseum.

I get so nervous that I eat all four protein bars that I brought in case of an emergency which I guess works out because this is absolutely an emergency but then my breath smells like a protein bar trash fire so I put like nine pieces of gum in my mouth and start chewing furiously. 

Then, of course, I’m there.

I get off the train, and immediately it’s hot. I peel off my sweaty jacket, and text her. She picks me up in her nice car. It’s an Audi. I drive a dusty Jeep Wrangler. Fuck.

I get in, and she smiles. “Hey! I’m so glad you made it! Welcome to San Diego!!” She goes in for a hug, and I kind of go to hug her back but I’ve already put on my seatbelt because you know like safety first and so I kind of motion to hug her but I don’t quite get there and it’s awkward. We start driving and she puts down the windows and her hair in the breeze looks like a shampoo commercial and she’s laughing and I’m laughing and we’re both laughing and I look outside at the passing trees and wonder to myself how fast we need to get up to before I can be certain that throwing myself out of the car would mean instant death.

She asks me some questions, but I’ve got all this fucking gum in my mouth and there’s like, SO MUCH saliva going on, so I take it out of my mouth and go to quickly throw it out the window before she can see but I can’t find the window thing and she looks over and goes “whoops! I’ve got it” and then I throw it out the window praying it doesn’t fly into the backseat and I gulp down all the saliva and it’s quiet in the car for a few seconds and then she’s like “wow that was a lot of gum” and I mumble something about all the protein bars I ate and reach for the radio.

She takes me to her favorite taco place, and I get some real food in me and I manage to start acting like a human being. She’s great. I mean, really really great. It’s like the whole non-hug lots of gum/saliva thing never even happened. She’s super ambitious, just like me, so the convo is effortless. We finish up, and before I can even confess that I have nothing planned, she offers up a bunch of things to do! I choose a winery, because I’ve never been. She smiles. “Ooooh. I’m going to get you soooo drunk.” I smile back. “Challenge accepted.”

The next 5 hours are amazing. We’re drinking and talking and laughing and sitting outside looking out over these incredible rolling hills as the sun sets. We talk about everything - even getting into some dark emotional shit. I am completely enthralled. I haven’t felt this way in a long long time. It’s incredible. Suddenly, her face turns serious. She looks at me in the fading light, her soft eyes studying mine. “Can I show you something?”

We drive for a little bit. I ask her what kind of music she wants to hear, and she plays me her favorite new song. It’s some bad ass trap music. Could this girl be any cooler? We turn up this winding road that ends at a small park at the top of this mountain with a big white cross on it. It’s fully dark now, and all of San Diego is lit up before us, stretching out down below as far as the eye can see. It’s beautiful.

It’s windy and a little cold, so she takes my arm and  pulls me close, nestling her head in the hollow between my neck and shoulder. Her hair smells amazing. She points out all the landmarks among the lights down below. 

“There’s the ocean. Annnd there’s where I live. And those lights way over there are Mexico.”

It feels like we’re in a movie. We’re quiet, just enjoying the moment. My heart is beating a thousand times a minute. It’s time to make a move.

“So… Is this like, the ‘lover’s lane’ of San Diego?” I ask.

“Yes.” She says.

“This is where you bring guys to make out?” I ask, smiling.

“Yes.” She looks up at me, smiling. The lights of San Diego twinkle in her eyes.

“We’re lucky it’s dark, then. Darkness favors my looks.” She laughs. 

We stare out at the twinkling lights below. 

I do nothing.

After a few minutes, I say “Man, it’s kind of cold up here. Are you cold?” She shakes her head no. The wind whips around us, delighted at my cowardice. She puts her head back on my shoulder and holds me tighter.

We go back to the car anyway.

Later, driving back down the hill, I ask her what kind of music she wants to hear. She says to put on whatever I want. 

I make my train with plenty of time to spare.