#anyway. Lev isn't just shortening his name its a reference to some Cosmic Law stuff IE its a reworking of that name of his to like
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anyway Im just thankful that ive gone from "thinking their name accidentally is a blasphemous transgression" to. i mean. i would say something about how Leviathan & Storm Mom and I can literally just talk shit out like hey did you mean this in a bad way? No? ok. or talk about how we can poke and prod each other. or about how i finally feel like im not a burden despite all my issues having just left a fucking cult. but like the progression can be symbolically summarised in Leviathan being like "yeah you can call me Lev online you've earned that" last night
#going from being told that these people hate my guts and thinking about their (fake) name is wrong#to finally meeting them and working to form a relationship with them to the point that we're working together daily - Storm Mom to a#lesser degree but she will always be in the bg - and like. my work with them and my relationship to them is recognised in this way#sorry. names and language are important to me lmfao. also im australian so nicknames are.....#anyway. Lev isn't just shortening his name its a reference to some Cosmic Law stuff IE its a reworking of that name of his to like#ah. anyway. personal stuff. its basically calling to his root energy and himself beyond any mask and form he comes to me in and#recognising the Black Hole within AND IT IS ALSO A CASUAL NICKNAME so to go from fearing these peoples' opinions of me#to finding out no they dont hate me. to finding my feet again post-cult. to working for the first time in years on forming relationships#w people that arent my ex...... to making this blog...... to being told ''yeah i mean you deserve to be able to call me that publicly#and if anyone says shit about it well what do they know. youve worked to form a relationship with me thats mutual and#mutually beneficial enough to publicly. on your Priest Roleplay Blog. call me that'' like. cool. thanks. cries#but also doesnt cry bc like yeah i feel.................... weirdly stable#~abyssal murmurs#diary //
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