#anyway. I just finished making a nice big pot of vegetable beef soup so I'm gonna go eat and maybe watch Nimona.

[neverendingford]

Dear Mom,

thanks for raising me

your taught me so many things

you taught me to be independent

I don't even ask anyone for help anymore

I've learned how to achieve more,

to push myself harder

I don't even know when to stop until my body hurts

I've learned to trust people

to have faith

and I don't even mistrust people until they're already hurting me

you taught me so many things

and your words live in my heart.

"I'll bet you could run faster if someone were chasing you with a knife"

your words inspire me every day

"you have to try harder so you don't become lazy"

I tell you that you are just like me

and you say neither of us need help

"I know what you think, but everyone is just like this"

recently I changed my life.

I took steps to get help.

to choose my identity.

to allow myself to thrive.

I put myself in the hospital first-

only after I was out of options did I admit my needs

would it have been better that way?

for you to love an idea?

for you to love someone who made the ultimate effort?

I tried

I tried for you

am I lazy for giving up?

"medicine is the easy way out"

I think about you every time I take these pills

adhd and antidepressants.

am I weaker for trying?

not like this.

I should have tried a better way somehow.

how do I write this in a stanza?

encapsulate your culture in verse?

-

independence in body

isolation of soul

dependence of spirit

desolation in my bones

gold in His mansions

dust in your home

love in that future

scorn in this now

blessed are the meek,

for they shall accept the yoke

cursed are the headstrong,

for they shall go their own way

raise up a child in the way he should go

and when she is grown she will curse your name

I always wanted to be just like you

and now I guess I am

.

sincerely

[missguomeiyun]

Homecooking [March ed]

Hiiiiii~

Rolling into spring with some spring rolls xD sorry, that was bad :P

Nothing much this month, I would say. Weather getting warmer. Sun out for longer. .. etc. I did a sketch of my favourite short tracker this season: Kim Gun Woo of Korea. I am watching a Kdrama called The Impossible Heir. Started strong, I caught up . .. & then the female lead kinda got on my nerves. I'm not familiar with her acting profile; however, I'm not sure how she got casted for this role. Were there no other options?! Anyway, you watch for yourself (& maybe let me know!).

I ate out several times this month as well. In fact, I've eaten out the most number of times this month since the pandemic lol it's an achievement. Will work on those posts after this one! But for now. ..

The carbonara Samyang spicy chicken noodles WITHOUT the spicy chicken sauce. I've added some baby bokchoy, tofu & kimchi with it.

Kimchi pancake- I'm trying diff batters. This one was unsuccessful so I won't share. It was so. .. 'hard' =/

Homemade wontons with noodles & baby bokchoy.

Yes. .. more bokchoy -.-" this was thick rice noodles with hot pot fatty beef slices. Threw in some soup seaweed as well.

Pasta - for dinner, then leftovers for lunch the next day.

Also the carbonara Samyang spicy chicken noodles but without the sauce xD I keep the sauce for hotpots & stuff now.

Bro made fried chicken using a new batter recipe. It was alright.

"A little bit of everything" rice noodles - bean curd, bokchoy, napa cabbage (it's so pale in colour that you can't even see it), soup seaweed, kimchi, chicken. .. in a deonjang jjigae base.

Yeah I know, it's expired but it was still good. I smelled it haha I ate the Korean franchise congee recently ("Bon-juk" brand) & I was inspired to create something similar. I used this expired soybean paste soup sauce with another Hmart product that I've eaten before, instant vegetable-flavoured congee, & cooked the two together!

& it became this ^ soybean paste congee. It was actually very good! I had a little taste test while cooking it & it was way too salty (the instant congee pack is seasoned) so I added regular rice to it & more water . .. I essentially diluted out the contents. Ended up with way too much product lol oh well, leftovers, right? This was super successful. I would recommend it, especially if you wanna make a bigger batch & save some for later or if you are feeding 3-4 ppl.

That's all~ Bye byeeee~~

PS: I visited the Stanley A Milner (downtown) library for the 1st time since the renos were finished. I don't exactly know when the renos were done as I don't travel to that area often. ..

The atrium area between 2nd and 3rd level, feat. my nieces.

The facility was actually really nice! I remember spending time here when I was in high school . .. it was sooooo dim & the place was so old-looking. The most amount of time I was here was during extended essay writing period.. . had to read, write notes, & cite references for my paper, which was on Sun Yat-sen lol I don't recall the title of my paper anymore...been too long! But yeah. The library is very good-looking, with some really cool areas. The crowd. .. ughhh.. There was a strong security presence, which was good, I guess, but the amount of questionable ppl was also abundant. Sometimes I wonder if having a security gate/bag xray machine at the door would be a good idea. Of course, I acknowledge the fact that it's a "public" library but I also think measures should be taken to make all members of the public feel safe. Then again, if such measure was applied to a library, malls should get it too? *shrugs* Let's just say the facility was upgraded BIG time but the population hasn't changed.

Off I go to work on other things now :P seeeee ya!