#anyway yes... another crosspost essay from my neocities... published this one last week or so to banger acclaim

[sincerelyandyourstruly]

the sun, the moon, & the truth

i used to say that "every opposites attract dynamic eventually distills down to a sun/moon dynamic."

and at first, this seems to hold true for xiaoven as well! i mean, it seems kind of obvious, does it not? venti is happy and bright, a lot of fun and laughter at parties; whereas xiao is quiet and shy, shrouded in darkness and doom. the sun shines a surefire path through the gloom, for through the darkness will always come the dawn; whereas the moon waxes and wanes through the nights, uncertain and untouchable.

i've often seen it said that in a xiaoven sun/moon dynamic, xiao sees venti as his sun, something bright and beautiful and worth every ounce of adoration to be afforded. by contrast, he himself cannot live up to venti's ideals (as much as he secretly yearns to) and views himself as nothing more than a pale reflection, a cold imitation, of that light.

despite this, venti still sees the goodness in xiao, the reflection of that light, and loves it all the same (for the moon is still beautiful), and together, they make one another complete; through venti's light, xiao is (saved) (forgiven) ((set free)) loved.

it's a fairly romantic notion, is it not? for a character to realize that their quiet, reflective nature is something worth loving, and that although they may be surrounded by darkness, that does not make them any less righteous themselves.

but as you study venti's character more closely, start to see the grief and sadness and aching regret underneath his cheerful and carefree facade, it becomes more and more obvious that venti is not really so much of a sun after all. his hopes and ideals were learned from another, from whom he has even taken his entire appearance. he himself is a reflection of someone, something else— the nameless bard and mondstadt— and the light it has living up to its ideals.

and venti knows this. i really don't think he's ever seen himself as much more than a mere reflection of something he admired and wished desperately to become himself, and the other thing is, he tries so hard to embody that which he reflects. to believe venti to be a sun would be to fall for his facade.

now, i believe it was at around the time of the endless suffering trailer that i remember seeing people suddenly start to reevaluate the venti == sun equivocation, specifically because venti in that trailer had been haloed by the moon himself as he welcomed xiao's return. However, what this also meant is that people began to reframe xiao as the sun in this dynamic, which.

yes, it is cool that we are trying to subvert the sun/moon dynamic here. there's a tumblr post that's crossed my dash before that considers this very concept, that of a sun-coded character who views themselves as Too Much, damaging to stare at or be around for too long. but guys.

we can be gay about the sun/moon dynamics by having two moons.

like, party rock with me for a second here and consider it this way: venti is like the bright full moon, shining in the night whilst hiding its dark side underneath; whereas xiao is like the shadow of the moon during a lunar eclipse.

they still have that "opposites attract" kind of vibe this way; it's just that rather than making them into characters who are fundamentally dissimilar, yet ultimately perfectly complimentary, they are each at their hearts exactly the same despite what one may believe at first glance.

comparing xiao specifically to things like the new moon, or the shadow of the moon during an eclipse, highlights the way he tends to bury himself in the shadows of the legacies he carries as his life continues to revolve around his duty to liyue. venti, on the other hand, is just as i stated earlier: he shows that which he reflects very brightly, that which he loves so ardently, like the full moon hiding its secrets and sins beneath itself.

and like, this interpretation doesn't even mean that we can't have that tasty tasty character struggle in xiao where he views himself as lesser than or unworthy of venti's feelings! bc it's fun, y'know, and really easy for xiao to just assume these things abt venti, that he's better or purer or less sinful (far less sinful) than himself.

to xiao, venti is something more beautiful, more divine, more knowledgeable, and more trustworthy than himself. he likely views venti this way for a long time after they first meet and believes it to be true down to the very core of his heart.

but that's in all likelihood simply untrue about venti! as an original archon who partook in the archon war, he absolutely has to have some war crimes under his belt, committed to keep mondstadt safe. or even barring that, his "negligence" (if that's what you want to call his periods of sleeping and leaving mondstadt to its own devices) has led to the suffering of many, such as the days of the aristocracy in mondstadt and the legend of vannessa. just bc venti doesn't talk abt these things explicitly (either by choice or some higher power's force) doesn't mean he does not shoulder their burdens every moment he's alive the way xiao shoulders his karmic debts.

and i think that until he realizes that venti loves gentleness in a person more than he loves vibrancy and life, xiao would probably struggle to understand why venti would fall in love with him (monster that he is). bc venti has seen many a person come and go through the centuries, and he has seen so much bloodshed in his life that i would imagine he values a gentle spirit very highly as a result. and seeing the gentility in xiao? for venti, oh— that's easy.

and yet xiao doesn't see that in himself!! he sees his every move as compensating for his own past sins!!! Until he starts to see past venti's facade, and realizes, oh, we are not so different after all.

(and i think that something similar could happen from venti's end as well— that he sees xiao as lovely and gentle and worth every mite of grace the heavens can grant him, for not a single sin he has been forced to shoulder has been performed by his own willing hands. and i think that he would struggle to accept xiao's love for him, because he believes that what xiao loves is his facade, this idea of what the divine barbatos, not venti, is supposed to be, but once he realizes xiao sees him for himself…!)

it is through falling so deeply and irrevocably in love and then recognizing themselves in one another that xiaoven can achieve some much-needed self-love and acceptance. and that thought makes me wanna sob facedown in a rainy ditch as lightning strikes from above forever and ever and ever.