#anyway yeah will lurk on tumblr at least while im away

[ivyandink]

a life update

if you’re interested! :) i know im the nosy person who loves reading about peoples’ personal lives, so if that’s you.... below the cut sis, i see you lol

I have been sooo absent from tumblr for months now! And I know I don’t owe any explanations or anything, but idk, I just thought it’d be kinda fun to share with you guys what’s been keeping my mind busy and away! So here goes nothin’.

I had one hell of a summer. Emphasis on hell. Read: Family DRAMA. Which left me in a pretty rough place mentally/emotionally. In a much, much better place with it all now (altho as I say that my crazy aunt has been texting me all day tryna drag me bag into stuff lol no rest for the wicked y’all). But, when you’re feeling kinda down, it’s hard to find the energy to create.

I am starting up my web design side hustle!!! Which has been a long time coming lol. I’ve been meaning to do this for years, but things never quite lined up or worked out. Last year, I finally felt like I was at a good place to start, so I have! This is by far taking up the most space in my brain for now, as I’m still getting things off the ground. It’s hard to balance starting a business while working full time, and also trying to have other hobbies/interests/social interaction lolol. PS: If you or anyone you know needs a website designed.... ;) just sayin’. I know a gal.......... me. It’s me. I’m the gal. Moving on. :)

I’ve been revisiting my novel. Idk if I ever talked about it much on here or just vaguely referenced it here and there? But last Spring (yikes almost a year ago.. BIG YIKES) I started a novel with the goal to finish by 2020. I wrote about 3 chapters and effectively scrapped it. lmao. So here we are! Revisiting the drawing board. FYI, this novel is an adaptation of my “Disapora” story if any of yall remember that hot ass M E S S-- aka, how Eli and Clem meet, fall in love and what not. My concept is to take my Ivy characters and kind of build them out their own book series... a series that would explore generational ties and relationships, and give me space to REALLY develop these characters I’ve loved so much. Like, I could gush and geek over this forever, but developing the old Elliot and Clementine into REAL characters (let’s be honest, their development had always been a little... lite lol) feels amazing, and seeing the same character yet also they’re so different?? It’s hard to explain, but it’s exciting, and fun, and a big, long-term project/goal of mine, and 2020 is the year I write the first book!!!! Or at least start it lol.

I lost my very best furry friend, my cat Juno, in December. See above for mental hardship making it hard to create. However, Seth and I have opened our hearts and home to two little ragdoll brothers , who we’ve had for a few weeks now, and are in love with. I think Juno would’ve really loved them too. ❤️ They’re a lil bad sometimes lol I like to think they’re in the preteen phase right now, and acting up and being extra. But they’re so cute and sweet and quirky, and already apart of our little family.

Then there’s just tons of misc things that have sucked up my time. Like: learning how to use my iPad Pro + Apple Pencil, creating a digital bullet journal with said iPad/Pencil combo, researching going back to college for my MSW to then become an LCSW (good LORD the acronyms in the field... kill m e) and become a therapist, researching houses we cannot afford???? literally wasting entire days looking on Trulia/Zillow/etc. lol, trying out a super DUPER extreme elimination diet to pinpoint some of my health issues (which i suspect might be autoimmune by nature, as it runs in the fam, despite me not being diagnosed-- and there is a lot of at the bare minimum anecdotal evidence that AI diseases are caused by food intolerances), went through a weird regression where I played Zelda for a few days lmao, and I’ve also taken up a daily manifestation journaling practice! And lord knows what else. :)

All of this is to say.... YEAH I’ve been busy. But here I am. I can’t make any promises to myself or others are my content, how often I’ll post, if I’ll ever even finish this dang story, or what. But!! That’s all good. :) I’m gonna let myself have fun with this hobby. Because for ME, I need something I can just have fun with. Read all the above points for things in my life that aren’t meant to be taken very seriously and leave no room for ‘just have fun with it’ and you’ll get it lolol. At the end of the day tho, I love tumblr, for as much shit as we all talk about it. It scratches a very particular itch for me, and it’s an enjoyable itch to scratch (???? weird metaphor but ok). It’s fun. I love the community (I’m good at blocking the icky blogs, and love my mutuals/followers/anons/people who interact). And I love having Like Ivy in the back of my head, getting ideas and inkings for it here and there, with no pressure on myself to do anything with it, right away. I want to keep this as my creative, free for all kinda space. But that might mean some radio silence here and there. I feel like most my main followers are also adults tho with busy lives??? So I’m sure y’all more than understand the struggle lolol. 

OH I almost forgot-- keep your 👀 peeled for the return of my Youtube channel this year! That was another fun hobby I enjoyed doing just for myself. I still need to figure out how I can make it work for me, in my new crazy life/schedule lol but alas!!!!! I’m a double scorpio and i LOVE a good challenge. Also might be a bit of a masochist??? So, I’ll figure it out, no worries lolol.

If you read this, and got all the way to the end without tapping out, I just wanted to say hey 👋 I see you. You’re awesome. I love you. Thanks for being interested in me. Also, we’re nosy creepers together, so we clearly have that in common 💁‍♀️ and idk! even if I’m not posting, I’m always lurking/around and always open to chat, answer asks, whatever. :) And if you have any questions about anything I wrote here, feel free to shoot them my way too!! All humans lowkey love talking about themselves (this post? case, and point oof). No shame~

Anyways-- thanks for reading!

[xxmgdreamsxx]

Lurk Much?

Hey guys this is my 1st imagine on tumblr. The reader is a batfam sis and dating Jason. Y/N is your name. 

It was about 10 at the manor and things were going pretty slow. You felt like being a hermit and had spent the last few hours holed up in your room and catching up on Archer while eating a variety of diabetes inducing junk food. You were stroking your food baby with one hand while the other reached out to grab the last Milano cookie. Fuck. The bag’s empty. “UUGGGHHHHH”, you groaned over-exaggerating the situation. Whining, you got up from your bed and trekked to the kitchen to grab more food necessities. After stuffing your face with the last slice of Alfred’s quiche you grabbed a new bag of milanos and started walking back to your room. That is, until you saw your boyfriend Jason in the hallway- looking through a slightly opened door with an amused look on his face. You rolled your eyes and called out to him as you walked towards him,       “Lurk much, Todd?”. Jason’s head snapped up to meet your face and he proceeded to immediately shush you “SHHHH!” You rolled your eyes again- “Ok Stalker McStalker what’s so interesting?” “SHHHH!!” he glared at you and wrapped his hand around your mouth while bringing you to face the crack in the door. “Ok dear god Jason I’ll be quiet” you whispered “what is i-” You said as you peered inside the room “Holy Shizzz!!” you excitedly whispered screamed as you saw what was happening. On the far side of the room was Bruce talking to, well flirting, with a woman, while pouring them both drinks. “Oh my god! I didn’t even know she was over! I haven’t seen Bruce do something about his love life in so long! The closest thing I’ve seen to him being on a date was when he awkwardly invited Selina to brunch after she nearly killed him, and that was five months ago!!” you gushed. Jason’s snickered at your immature excitedness and went back to watching the history that was being made in the room. You strained to hear what they were saying. “So Mr. Wayn-” “Oh just Bruce, please” “Mhmm Bruce, such a lovely name. Although not as lovely as the time i’m spending with you”. You and Jason were both losing it at this point. “OMG this is gooold, we need to be filming this” you told Jason. “Babe yess” Jason responded “fuck i don't have my phone- UUGHHH where’s Tim when you need him. I bet he has a freaking professional camera set and everything.” “What do I have?” Tim asked as he walked up to the two of you. “AAHH” you and Jason gasped and turned around. “Well speak of the nerdy devil” Jason retorted. “Hey!” Tim cried. “SHHHHHH!!!!!” you scolded them. “What’s going on?” Tim asked “What are you guys looking at?”. You and Jason both looked at each and  nodded before grabbing Tim’s arms and pulling him close to you. “Tim if you look, you’ll never be able to go back.” you said dramatically. Jason leaned in really close and whispered in a super serious tone “All of thou’s innocence shall crumble and thou shall become a MAN.” “ok guys what hell, your actually creeping me out here- Tim said. “Look.” you exclaimed and shoved Tim’s face through the door crack. “O my god.” Tim deadpanned. “I know right?!!” you giggled. Jason wrapped his arm around Tim’s shoulder “ See little bro? You should take some notes here and maybe you can actually talk to a girl for more than 2 minutes without fainting in the future”. “Hey!” “Yeah Jason that’s not nice, he talked to Steph for a good FIVE minutes before collapsing.” “In my defense I was severely dehydrated” Tim added. “Ok everyone shut up and watch” you scolded. You could see Bruce and his mystery date standing up near the fireplace and things were getting pretty heavy. “So Bruce what shall we do now?” “Well we could-  You could see Bruce responding and trying to look all manly and seductive while reaching his arm back to rest on the table, but.. he missed. His hand missed the table by an inch and he slipped. It was too much and you lost it. You shrieked “OH MAN HAHAHA”. You quickly realized what you had done but it was too late. Bruce’s head snapped up and his gaze met yours and the rest of his spying children. ‘shit!” Jason groaned. “oh my god” you fumbled “guys we gotta run” You screamed “RUN!!” The three of you took off and fucking sprinted as fast as you could. You could feel the energy coursing through you as you madly giggled and ran. As y’all were running you rambled“Oh my god guys maybe he didn’t see exactly who it was like i don't know hah guys i can't i just can't oh mY GOD FUCKING RUN! RUN!!” “Y/n”! Jason yelled at you through heavy pants “If Bruce couldn’t tell who it was he knows now because of yoUR SCREAMING!” “OH SHIT THAT’S RIGHT” you cried out. Still running, you continued “IM SORRY GUYS I JUST HAVE SO MUCH ADRENALINE RIGHT NOW LIKE I HAVEN’T FELT THIS ALIVE SINCE I ACCIDENTALLY DRANK TIM’S 5 HOUR ENERGY ESPRESSO SMOOTHIE!! AND I- that was the last thing you unintelligibly yelled, as you tripped and face planted on the floor. Jason and Tim hadn’t even noticed you fell behind until you cried out in your best old english accent “ My good lord help me! I have fallen!” Jason whipped his head back dramatically and ran towards you” My good lady, fear not! I am here to rescue thou!” He grabbed you bridal style and continued “Where to, fair maiden?” You put on a serious look “Hhmm, OOH I KNOW, TO THE KITCHEN GOOD SIR. WE MUST GATHER PROVISIONS TO LAST US A FORTNIGHT IF WE MUST HAVE TO HIDE FROM THE FEARSOME BAT.” By now you and Jason had caught up to the still running Tim and you yelled as you passed him “FAIR KNIGHT, WE MUST AWAY TO THE KITCHEN” Tim just followed y’all while muttering under his breath “these people have problems”. When you got there, the three of you grabbed all the food you could then barricaded yourselves in to the game room. “Ok” you said “We’ve locked the door so Bruce shouldn’t be able to get in even if he finds us”. “And I've found The Seed of Chucky” Jason said while holding up a dvd case “or well at least one of the Chucky movies. Dear lord knows which one it is. At this point they've made so many- like for fucks sake guys one sequel’s enough. “ OK Spielberg we get it. You hate sequels. Now shush and play the movie” you commanded. So there you guys were an hour later. Tim had turned off all the lights and you all had preceded to built a pillow fort that you were now snuggling in . All three of you were in a sugar coma induced state and were staring wide-eyed at the movie. “Bitch don’t go in” you told the person in the movie as they walked towards a door. The music was getting super suspenseful and you, Jason, and Tim were clinging on to each other not taking your eyes off from the screen. “she gonna die she's gonna die” Tim whispered meekly” The door was slowly being opened. The music was intense. Jason was clinging so tightly to your arm you thought it was gonna fall off. You could hear your heartbeat. The door creaked open. “Oh hey guys there you are!” “AAAAAAAHHHHHHH” you, Jason, and Tim screamed all at once. It. was. Dick. “ Sorry I scared you guys” Dick apologized. “ For the love of god man you gave me a heart attack” Jason glared at him “Also how the hell did you get in? I thought we locked the door?” “Well yeah that one but there’s another door right here” Dick said pointing behind him.  “Oh my god were fucking idiots” you said staring at the door. “So anyway guys, Bruce is looking for you. I’m not sure why.” “ Nope. Nopeity Nope Noooope” you said. “Guys seriously I’m sure whatever is going on he won’t be that mad” Dick remarked. “ HEY BRUCE THEYRE IN HE- Jason quickly spoke in a spookily calm tone “Grayson if you tell him were here , I swear on my already dead soul I will tell everyone about the bikini incident.” Dick’s eyes just went really wide and he gasped “You wouldn’t dare” “try me.” Jason retorted as he kept his glare focused on Dick. Dick just stared at him back for a second before slowly walking out the door and closing it behind him. “Oh yeah Bruce they're not in there” you could here Dick say in the hallway ten seconds later and then the footsteps retreated and all three of you let out a collective sigh of relief. Sleep took over you pretty soon and you all fell asleep cradled in each others arms. Of course you didn't escape the day of judgment, as early the next morning you eventually had to see Bruce and he gave you a long talk about spying on other people and that privacy is to be respected. The entire time Tim was just blushing like crazy and staring at his feet while you were focusing in on a very interesting spot on the wall. Jason of course was unfazed, and only opened his mouth to ask Bruce if he “got laid”. 

[nxcxflxrxsexy]

ALEXIS REN Last February 19, 2017. Alexis Ren, an ex-girlfriend of Jay Alvarrez stood up for herself. She tweeted, “Ask away I’m not afraid to tell the truth anymore 🖕🏼” — Let me tell you this, there was also a time that I felt that way. Where I spoke up and broadcasted the whole story. Its on my facebook btw.

I could 💯 relate with the tweets I will be talking about later.

How has this made you feel about relationships/growth and all AR: I learned Self love, self growth & self trust…&stay away from fuckboys 😂 — Indeed. I honestly learned how important self love is in order for me to grow. I also learned how to be independent and I can only survive by having self trust. Tbh, if I did not put myself first, I would still be involved with his toxicity. Prioritizing myself made me love the sound of my footsteps walkaway from negativity. Once you know what you deserve, letting go is one of the best decisions one can make.

Get over him girl we’re all here for you AR: I am bby thats why im speaking — My ex used to tell me all the freaking time that I havent moved on cos of my tumblr posts. Little did he fucking know, I am comfortable enough to talk about it, which means it bothers me no more. Pretty funny cos WHY WONT I GET OVER SOMEONE LIKE HIM? Bitch please, not everyone I lose is a loss. Besides I’m the one who walked away because I know that is whats best for me.

you couldnt realize this kind of abuse when you were with him? Or you knew he was like this and closed your eyes anyway? AR: Love makes you blind tho I can’t deny I felt something was wrong — Loves is blind and that is true. Despite all the lies and cheat, I stayed. I loved him more than I loved myself and that is when now I understand the saying to “leave some for yourself and dont give all”. They say that waiting for someone to change after the bullshit they did to you is more than love. Partly, true. But thats your heart speaking. Theres a reason why yiur brain is above your heart.

What did u do to get over himand the whole situation AR: time — There comes a time when you have to let go of all the pointless dramas and the people who create it. It took me a while, countless times of being stupid, but at least I made it. Perhaps it is the way for me to wake up. To keep on hurting myself till Ive had enough. Its time for me to surround myself with people who make me laugh so hard that I forget the bad and focus solely on the good. Me leaving him wasnt the end of the world. I thought it was the end of the world but I eventually stopped crying and I woke up next morning. It wasnt the end of the world, maybe it was; a world of him and I. But in this world, I got up and standing up on my feet. You have to find a way to make your chest stop burning because the earth will keep revolving around the sun and time doesnt have sympathy for anyone, the world doesnt work that way. Losing a relationship hurts, but losing yourself in a relationship lasts longer.

Love will teach you Anon- to not trust other females AR: to trust yourself — Both true. People say its my fault for introducing my close friend to my ex boyfriend. Partly, yes. Cos she has a background of stealing her friends’ boyfs/exes. Like ALL the guys she had was her friend’s. But I TRUSTED her because we were close, we were in good terms. But heck, guess I’m stupid for thinking she’ll do me differently. I SHOULDVE TRUSTED MYSELF MORE INSTEAD. Whats pretty funny is she used to make fun of my boyfriend’s physical appearance when we were together but now look at her, LOL.

AR:Its crazy how you can be about someone - Yep. According to Mr. Amari Soul, when love is real, it is just so hard to stop. Even after theyve proven to you over and over again that they do not deserve your love. Did me dirty and still stuck by his side. Love is indeed, blind. But lets not say I was the only crazy cos he never let me go anyway. Yeah, he’s that selfish. Imagine sti saying I love you and still spoiling me up to the28th month?! Yeah, confusing, right? But I cant be stupid forever. I cant always follow my heart. Its time for me to use my brain.

AR: That time you confused a lesson for a soulmate — Maybe I stuck by his side cos I wanted him to be my last. Weve been through a whole lot, literally started from the bottom but survived, we were doing fine until he decided to fuck things up. But did I regret this? Of course not. “Do not let failed relationships break you. Be thankful that the universe made it happen to show you what love is not, so you know what love is.” “Only when you can let love go, will you truly understand what it means to love.”

AR:How you feel is not my problem and how I feel is not your problem — I do not live to meet your standards and I WILL NOT adjust to your definition of “moved on”. Idgaf on how you interpret my posts. Never underestimate a woman who knows what her worth enough to get over some toxic douche. Its not my problem how him and his lurking girlfriend take it. LOLin’.