#anyway we're FINALLY out of the god. damn. tunnel.

[eleanor-found-footage]

...

[ladykailitha]

Icarus Part 22

Hello everyone! I hope everyone had a good week. We're really getting down to the wire on this one.

I finally finished Secret Tunnel (game show) and am going through the game show parts and neatening things up a bit, but they'll be ready to go by the time it needs to be posted.

In this we have Steve learning to lean on his friends and kicks out an asshole at a press junket.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21

~

Steve and Eddie were careful but they were also friends. So every time Steve and Eddie were seen (with or without other people there) the media blew it up.

“Rocker seen with long-time friend, Steve Harrington, an EMT for the band The Fallen…”

“Steve Harrington punching above his weight class with Eddie Munson, frontman of Corroded Coffin?”

“Steve Harrington, former rich boy, now EMT seen with frontman, Eddie Munson; could a scandal be brewing for the heavy metal rock god?”

And all of them were insinuating that it was Steve who was only in it for Eddie’s fame and fortune. Even though they had had pictures taken before the tour as friends. Especially since they had gone to school together. But no. Now they were seen together on tour, it was tawdry and lewd.

Which shouldn’t have dug at Steve as much as it did. Because in a perfect world it wouldn’t be tawdry. It would be two famous people having a lunch together romantically. They could be seen kissing each other, holding hands, and just staring at each other with heart eyes.

But the world was not perfect. And Steve was not out as bisexual, even if Abbadon was. Shane had come out to his family when Astraeus did, but Steve had chickened out. He couldn’t look Dustin or Max or Will in the eye and tell them he liked men too… especially Will.

He couldn’t imagine telling his kids that all that posturing he did in high school was all for show. That he wasn’t the token straight friend with Robin and Eddie. They were the only ones who knew he liked men at all. Outside of his band anyway.

Steve let out a long shuddering breath and then did the smart thing for once in his god damned life. He called Vickie.

“Hey, Abbadon,” she greeted warmly. “What’s up?”

He told her what was going on with the most recent rash of media bullshit. “Is there anyway we can just put out a statement or something that Eddie and I are just friends?”

“That would actually do the opposite of what you looking to do,” she said kindly. “People are going to think whatever they want to. There’s no changing it, but instead play up into it. Whenever you see someone taking pictures. Grab Eddie’s hand. Swing it like you’re school children. Wrap your arms around each other and giggle. Stay clear of obvious PDA, like kissing and whatever. But make them uncomfortable with it. Make it their problem.”

Steve stopped for a moment to think about it. Really think about it. “Oh. I like that. Because then Eddie and I can get goofy with it without feeling like we’re hiding something special. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Vickie said with an obvious smile, even though he couldn’t see her.

He paused for a moment and then asked, “What made you think of that? I mean, it’s brilliant and you deserve all the credit for it, but I’ve got to ask.”

“It’s actually a common trick,” she said with a laugh. “A famous child star would come out of the play he was starring in wearing the same jeans and jacket every night so the pictures would be useless. Or another pair of child stars walking down the street holding hands, being goofy because the one has anxiety and holding hands helped. Sometimes it a zero sum game where nobody wins, but that’s way you’ve got to play it.”

Steve let out a deep sigh. It was a horrible thing to have to play by someone else’s rules, but it came with fame, like it or not. “Yeah, I can see that. Thanks again, Vickie.”

After he hung up the phone he felt a lot better. It wasn’t the fix he was looking for but then again nothing in life had a permanent solution. Fame least of all. He bit his thumb, eyeing his phone. He had heard about phone hacking in the UK and was worried someone might get a hold of his text messages.

He was in the safety of his own hotel room, but Eddie might not be. After chewing it over for a moment or two, Steve shot Eddie a text message:

-Call me when you’re alone

Immediately his phone rang. “Hey, babe.” And all of Steve’s worries and fears melted with the warm tone of his boyfriend’s voice.

“Eddie,” Steve murmured and just let everything out instead of bottling it up inside.

Eddie listened through it all. Just humming and agreeing where needed. Finally Steve told him what Vickie had said to do and how grateful he was to have someone who knew this kind of thing. It was still all new to him.

“That is a really good idea, sweetheart,” he agreed once Steve had finished. “I’m known for being goofy and affectionate with all of my friends, so this will just be seen as an extension to that.”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “So how about we go out to lunch today to celebrate our new master plan?”

Eddie laughed. “Could do, sure.” He paused for a moment. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Steve paused for a moment to really think about it. The truth was that he probably wouldn’t be all right for a while. He was trying to adjust to the meteoric raise to fame and it wasn’t going well if he was honest.

“I think this whole fame racket is getting to my head,” he muttered. “I just feel like I’m slightly out of step so I just keep bumping up against things I thought I would move past, clear sailing. I’m feeling a bit bruised and battered.”

“I wish I could tell you gets better, but it really doesn’t, it’s just your edges get rounded off.”

Steve let out a long, hard sigh. “I suppose so. It still sucks, though.”

“It does that,” Eddie agreed. “I’m glad you called Vickie and me. I’m glad you’re reaching out for help when you need it. Because you really worried us, no one could get through to you. I don’t know what Shane said to you and I’m not going to ask. But I’m so grateful he knew what to say.”

“He told me I looked hot.”

Eddie burst out laughing. He just started and could not stop. Steve grinned into the phone. “If I knew that’s all it took I would have told you that, sweetheart.”

“It was a bit more than that,” Steve conceded. “But that was the gist of it. He just got me out of my head. He didn’t want me focusing on the fact people made it more than it was and instead focus on how hot it was from any angle.”

“I like that,” Eddie said softly. “I’ll meet you in an hour for lunch.”

“I’ll see you then,” Steve said.

Once he was off the phone, he flopped on his bed for a moment. He sat up and looked around. It was a nice hotel room. Not as nice as Corroded Coffin’s rooms. Mainly because it would be weird that a couple of EMTs, a couple of PAs and a roadie had such lavish rooms. But also because Steve liked it this way.

The home away from home of a sort. None of his Abbadon wardrobe was kept in his hotel rooms but he did sneak out a couple of pieces that he liked that didn’t really blow his cover, just a couple graphic t-shrts, a pair or two of white sneakers, and a white denim jacket.

He threw on the sneakers and denim jacket over a pair of fade blue jeans and Corroded Coffin t-shirt. Just to give the paparazzi the middle finger or two.

He gathered up all the things he needed and paused briefly in the hallway mirror. He grinned at the image.

If the media wanted something to talk about, Steve was going to give it to them, both barrels straight to the face.

~

They were getting ready for a press conference the way always do these days: Spence on the phone with Nadia, Simon panicking in the corner and Shane and Steve trying to get him to breathe and calm down. He has done this a dozen times before. He wasn’t Simon, the shy nerd who hid behind his guitar, he was Asmodeus. Super confident sex god.

Simon nodded shakily. They helped him get to his feet. He slowly got dressed into his persona and pulled the red mask over his features. Steve looked over at Spence and gave him the thumbs up.

Spence nodded and said goodbye to Nadia. Then he too got ready. The jet black clothes covering the built body of a former EMT. He put on the mask and pulled up his hood.

Then it was Shane’s turn. He moved quickly and easily. His persona an easier fit than Simon’s or Spence’s. He was all over the place in his day to day life, but as Astraeus, he was grounded, more centered.

Then they all turned to Steve. Their leader and best friend. Their older brother, even though they were all super close in age. The man with the vision. The reason they were all here, living their dream.

Steve loved to play with blurring the gender lines with Abbadon. He painted his nails, wore bodices and corsets, high heels and even skirts. Like today. He was wearing a short pleated tennis skirt with knee high boots and a sheer long-sleeved crop top. He wore a short leather jacket reminiscent of Asmodeus’s stage jacket. He pulled on the mask and then carefully applied pink lipstick.

Then as if on cue, Hopper knocked on the door. Steve nodded to Spence, who walked over and knocked back.

They were ready.

~

“What do you make of Corroded Coffin leading the charge in changing the culture surrounding what a metal band should look like?” one journalist asked.

Abbadon and Asmodeus shared a smirk.

Asmodeus leaned forward to the mic. “We think it’s a healthy thing. I think country should do the same. You shouldn’t have to wear denim with tassels on it and cowboy boots to sing country and you shouldn’t have to wear leather and chains to perform metal.”

“You’ve spoken about how you were booed off stage early in your career for not looking metal enough,” another reporter asked, “what were you like before the getup?” He waved his hands over his face.

Abbadon decided he hated this guy. “Not this. Our past is our past and we’re going to leave it there. We’re here to talk about the future of the band not its past.”

The questions turned to their music and the tour then the smart ass asked another question.

“Is there a reason Abaddon is spelled incorrectly?” the guy asked with a smirk.

Abbadon stared at him blankly.

“You spell it with two Bs when its correct spelling is with two Ds,” the asshole explained like Abbadon was stupid.

“No, no,” Abbadon said flippantly. “I got that. I’m just wondering why you thought it was a question you should ask.”

The asshole’s smirk grew like he knew he had won. “I was just curious and I’m sure other people are as well.”

Abbadon drew his tongue over his lips slowly, his eyes narrowing at the man through the mask, as he thought about how to answer that.

“An error in the printing of the first fliers we ever made for the band,” he said coldly, “and no one noticed it until our second album and by then it was already set in stone.”

The guy squirmed in his seat as Abbadon continued to glare at him. He stopped taking other questions with a finger upraised.

“I want him out of here.”

And before the guy could protest, he was being hauled out by security where he was greeted by Vickie.

The rest of the press conference went off without a hitch.

The headlines the following day made a mockery of the guy. Apparently he was a shock jock radio star who had a podcast where he talked about conspiracies and aliens and was a general ass about everyone who he didn’t agree with.

No one was even sure how he got in in the first place. But Vickie swore that he wouldn’t again. She made sure that his comments were pushed into obscurity and the fringe side of the internet where he belonged.

~

Part 23 Part 24 Part 25

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence

3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @blondie1006

4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten

5- @genderless-spoon @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

6- @disrespectedgoatman @eyehartart @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95

7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars

8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec

9- @machete-inventory-manager @useless-nb-bisexual @stripey82 @dotdot-wierdlife @kal-ology

10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @chameleonhair @clockworkballerina @garden-of-gay

[the-firebird69]

Our son and daughter accomplished something Trump we are putting hits on you and we're going to see you die and yeah this copycat said before after you it was covered they're not really as proficient but they hit about a 30% to 15% every time you've been dying anyways and your people who are not your race would fill in instead it's going to be us taking the majority of stuff

-okay then and we have more news the warlock we're attacking the sudo empire and they were going up there over and over to the Parker systems in Northern New England and Pennsylvania and Virginia and parts of the Carolinas with big armies and the pseudo empire said why do we even let you go up there and started cutting them off and they slaughtered probably half their Force and doing it and stop them from attacking the brokers they put a notice out for all this to do that get the information and to cut them off. It seems amazing that someone would do that and really it's just common sense but okay I believe they have their fleets out of the way for the most part this is really a 10 billion left of the warlock but that includes minority warlock pretty soon Matt morlock will have none and minority warlocks are on your own you did nothing but try and hurt us. There's more news but this is really big news

-there's other things happening and it's pretty juicy and there's pretty big. They're fighting over this car the VW golf and their son says if I get the car he's going to go play around the golf with one arm doesn't know how to play and it's a weird name. And he's making a joke to Preston and he said he's going to hit it with one arm and say sorry before it lands and hits Windows every time and he's got a weird swing and always does something strange no matter what he does it's true too he can't stand the game. So is joking with me kind of blown in push it in kick It in and finally just stamps it into the grass.

-also we have more people tuning in because it's starting to become a nightmare everywhere because of these idiots fighting themselves. And he says Michael too would you like to expound on that and he says no and leave me alone Mike I said it once and I'll say it again well we have a lot of problems because of this invite it's disgusting we have to stop and we don't know where to begin or how to do it we don't really want to cuz they're so God didn't annoyed they're so damned annoying I'm so hash out of the planetoids and it says no because it's four of them and that sucks Michael too says. There's a lot of people who want to know what's going on and they need to they have people that are moving and they need to know why and what's happening and they look at and it's disgusting. So far evacuated out of Florida is about 6.5% and it's mostly Macklemore lock and the number that's 30%. No it was 35% and they're most of it they're down to 29% 0.5% is the rest and Florida had like 55% more luck. And yes now it's 49% roughly most of these are Macklemore. Oddly enough.

-today we have more evacuating from Florida and it is more mac morlock. It is roughly going to be about 3% and the wave was pretty big over the weekend and it's tapering down but it will increase rapidly shortly as the tunnels empty anticipation of a fight begins people are seeking Small arms and they're going to use them on each other. And 3% will bring us down to roughly 26% Mac morlock it's mostly them and it's true that it's lower level people but they went out and that's a large number thus far it's almost 10% and they're using campers and trucks and everything a lot of campers but more campers are being purchased right now they were bringing in about 10 million campers a day but they hit Monday and it went up to 20 million and yesterday was up to about 30 million and that's a lot it is a lot of people and it's going to continue and it's going to be hot and heavy and tons of people are going to be getting evacuating we think by the end of the day if they got to the end of the tunnels and when they clear the silt it just keeps repacking at the end of it no just a lot of it and it's filtering out and they pulled more sandal last night it's coming out pretty quick in about an hour it'll be clear and then pull the next batch of ships and they'll try to fuel them all cuz they can come out with radar and Dan was trying to explain it when it's clear just fuel them all and they said no we can't see so yes if you start out and you are moving out can you see you like if you go all at once and I said we don't know he said I do you don't have to you can use radar instead it doesn't always work and it's true and he said okay then that's the argument and I said fuel them all anyways they need to remove the ones you can and you wait 20 minutes instead of 3 hours and it said oh yeah and you can just sit there the second is clear for you and so they said this if you really had to we could leave and they went ahead and started fueling them all late early this morning actually and they're going to run it that way mostly it's like a still about 3/4 of a mile and that's not much and it's clear enough that they filled up and it didn't take long one hour and it's true it's clearing out right now we think they'll be able to get a half mile out if they all left at the same time they'd be able to do it but they don't want to risk it so they're doing it that way usually it can set up and it takes an hour and everything will be three groups so by noon and boy is it slow last night it is really slow but at noon they're going to unplug it and that's what Trump went is fighting over these ships he's a good guy cuz he messed with social security and tried to blame people

-no we're going after that guy and pretty heavy but other people are too finally and he's got a tail now and they're following him everywhere and he's not going to make it we think it might even be before next month cuz he keeps saying it's going to cut it off and people are tired of hearing it her son says he cannot join the golden armor he's not worthy it doesn't have the planetoids and doesn't have the manpower and it should put on the phoam one and light himself on fire.

-there's a lot of people hearing our son he says get out of here or dying up both considering bothering me f****** loser Jamie chomo is after you that's hilarious ...now that was our son

-there's a huge number of things going on and he's giving this vision of him trying to push Lily out of the car the golf of his foot put it back on the accelerator and saying my legs are short too and she's trying her legs are short it was the family damn it people laughing cuz they say it anyways

-there's a huge number of people who want him gone but really we have more news this situation here has begun to stink really bad those people bothering him all day long walking around like zombies bothering him they go down to the park and bother him the whole time with really stupid stuff and unfortunately it's like a decent message in there but he's not paying attention to them anymore and doesn't want them to do anything and doesn't care and they kind of picked up on it now so he finally left here no from water whatever we hope we hope he doesn't come back but you know we got to make sure he doesn't and people have to get to work so you find out this morning he's messing with social security on a big scale people found out and they sent it out they're beginning attacks on him up there and to see him messing around with it today and we saw him go up there and people are attacking him cuz they know what he's up to and he says he wants to screw up this month's money and things so they're saying no and they're removing him from office that's what they said there's a lot of people who are angry and we have numbers on it too and they're very significant and some people are included in some of it not much but really there are huge angry mobs and they're going after them and it's so concern little cheesman is his right hand man and they are going after him too and they want him out and if you're tampering with him you'll tamper with anybody so there are days are numbered more shortly

Thor Freya

Olympus

It's really good news that I heard it on The wire not the radio and they said it too they said we are going to go after those two until they're out and they're in the wrong job the wrong time completely wrong and who let them in and find those Force to Biden was forced and now we're going to have to get some people in there and it started sending them in and they're going after these trumpsters they have a huge attitude problem and they're going to fix their wagon he's trying to get him money Trump is he might be but he's going to try and take it away and he wants to bring the car down and take it away after he gets the car and he's an idiot so people are going to break him because he's just 3-year-old child now your plans are 20 minutes long then I explain it's like thousands of years ago to get here so he is planning on doing that is what people said we don't know if we believe it and the max are having a hard time and my husband says video with this video was Lily they said it did and I think he dies and that's how you get money you don't really happen to him we just totally turned the s*** they say it's true

Hera

Olympus

[mrsalwayswrite]

Always With You (Angel!Reader x Tommy Shelby)

Summary: In some of Tommy's darkest moments, there was someone to give him hope.

This is my contribution to @retromafia Supernatural Celebration! Congrats again on your milestone and thanks for letting me participate!

Words: 5300

Warnings: canon-typical violence, war theme, mentions of death and dying, brief mention of childhood physical abuse, abandonment, swearing, results of Tommy's poor life choices

Moodboard made by the incredibly talented @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie

"Tommy, you need to sleep."

"I'm alright." He replied, wiping the sweat dotting his forehead, only to smear more mud across it.

Freddy grabbed the end of Tommy's shovel, forcing his friend to stop and listen. "Tom, when was the last time you slept?"

He tried to think about it. He really tried. But down here, in the mud and darkness where the sunlight could not penetrate, the days blurred into an endless hell. As soon as he stopped shoveling, all the exhaustion he had been ignoring seemed to finally weigh on him like iron chains. He dropped down onto his ass, uncaring of the mud beneath him. His clothes, his hair, his skin was covered in it anyway. Releasing a sigh, he ground the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"Fuck, Tommy. You can't keep going like this." His friend implored, the faintest hint of desperation in his voice.

"We're close. We're so fuckin' close, Freddy."

"Aye. Jesus. At least go lay down for an hour, yeah? Go back towards the ladder. If somethin' changes, we'll wake you."

"Or start screamin' like a little girl, eh?"

"Fuck you!" Freddy protested, wiping his hands on his filthy trousers. "That rat was the size of me forearm!"

"Think he was imaginin' it still." Danny snickered as he joined the other two, the lantern dangling from his right hand casting an eerie glow over the three tunnelers.

"Fuck you both. I know what I saw."

"Go on, Sergeant. We're good 'ere." Danny said, directed at Tommy with his off-kilter smile.

"Nothin' good down here, Danny."

Danny seemed to ponder Tommy's words for a moment before shrugging. "Me fuckin' mother-in-law isn't screamin' at me. That's good."

Freddy snorted. "Jesus, that woman is a damn menace. Should be sendin' her across the line. Fuckin' war would be over in half an hour."

Tommy snickered as he relented his position amongst the filth of French mud. Carefully, he made his way back towards the entrance of their tunnel. The ladder marked it like some kind of unattainable redemption. He remembered as a boy, listening to the priest droning on about Jacob's ladder and how it was a gateway to heaven. How angels ascended and descended the ladder in a dream while Jacob slept. But as Tommy stared at the ladder, he knew this was no gateway to heaven. It might drag him up from the mire and darkness, but only then thrust him into bullets and blood and screaming. No, there were no angels here. No gateway to heaven. God had abandoned France long ago. If the cruel bastard even existed.

With a sigh, he leaned against one of the dirt walls, sliding back down onto his ass. His blue eyes closed, eyelids weighing heavy. He tried to drown out the noise, tried to ignore the whispers of Danny and Freddy, tried to ignore the shovels and pickaxes.

Thud.

But it did not matter. The sound had wormed itself into his mind, replacing even the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears. Always the shovels against the dirt. Pickaxes when the shovels could not break it up. The repetitive sound followed him, even when he was above the tunnels, as if to remind him where he belonged. In the mud. Beneath the feet of everyone else. In the grave he was only digging for himself and the other tunnelers.

Thud.

He tried to slow his breathing, tried to close his eyes and pretend he was anywhere else beside this hell hole.

Thud.

Then little by little, like his own consciousness was being chipped away at, he was tugged deeper and deeper into sleep.

And for a moment, he was free.

*****

Tommy blearily opened his eyes with all the care of a dead man….and that was how he knew with certainty that he was dreaming.

Since being shipped out from England, he had constantly been on alert, even more so when they reached the battleground. There was no time to let down your guard. Even in your sleep. If it was not the enemy trying to shot or bomb them, it was that cloying terror, aching hunger or overwhelming despair that sunk you into the abyss.

Now his body thrummed with peace. A foreign sensation. The only time he most likely felt this was when he was still in the womb. Beneath his hands was soft, green grass. Above was open skies with only a handful of fluffy clouds to break up the endless blue.

He knew he was dreaming. Unless he had died in his sleep. There were certainly worse ways to go. But this place was too serene for what he knew awaited him in the afterlife.

Overly aware of every movement, he cautiously rolled up into a sitting position, briefly noting he still wore his grimy trousers and shirt. He snorted at himself, even in his own imagination, he was still covered in mud and blood. Still stained by the evidence of war. With his hands threaded through the lush grass, he drew his eyes up from his attire to study his surroundings.

Instead of the stench of death and despair, of soul-sucking muddy tunnels, of blood and shit and piss….he was surrounded by vibrant life.

Rolling, green hills met his gaze. Even from where he sat, he could see five horses grazing. The gentle sound of water led his eyes to the shallow stream parallel to him. On the stream's other side was a copse of trees, standing like sentries over the stream. It all felt so familiar. Like he had been here before.

In his mind's eye, he could see the grouping of vardos, the squealing of children chasing one another and generally getting underfoot of their parents. His mother had brought him and his siblings here before. When the men started demanding money from her to pay off her husband's debts. She would take her children and sneak them away in the dead of night, borrowing a horse from Charlie, and hide away with her clan and family for a few weeks.

It was here he fell in love with horses. Spent every hour on or around the majestic creatures that he could. It did not matter that the animals towered over him. At the ripe age of six years old, Tommy was fearless of the much larger creatures. More often than not, he would sleep under the stars at night, surrounded by the horses while his mother and siblings stayed in the vardo of his grandmother.

With a shaky breath, he ran his hands over his cropped hair as the memories pierced him with more damage than any bullet could.

"Hello, Tommy."

The sweet, lyrical voice washed over Tommy like a cooling balm. Subconsciously he took in a deep breath, letting the comfort settle deeper, releasing the tension in his body. Only then did he turn his head to the left, following the voice.

And stared in wonder at the ethereal creature.

She stood several paces away, her bright eyes watching him. A pure white dress adorned her, a simple piece of fabric with no buttons or excess stitching to draw the eye. The sleeves only just covered her shoulders and the hem danced around her knees, showcasing her bare feet. Yet in the simplicity was beauty.

His eyes continued to scan greedily over her, taking note of everything about her: from the way her hair looked like silk under the midday sun, the gentle smile on her face, the way her skin seemed to shimmer and glow effortlessly, how even the the sunlight cascaded over her like a caress, no shadows dared touch her for she shone like a diamond of the highest grade in the sun. Someone to be worshipped. Someone to be admired in reverent fear and awe.

It felt like a sin to rest his eyes upon her.

He swallowed thickly before speaking. "What are you?"

"I'm an angel."

He took in the information, filtered it through his sieve of an intelligent, calculating mind. And in the moment, the only thing his mind could conjure as a response was: "you don't look like one. Shouldn't you have wings?"

She gave an unladylike snort, but even coming from her, it somehow sounded elegant. "They look pretty but can be bothersome to move around in. I like to keep mine concealed when I can get away with it."

"How do I know for certain? You could be lyin', eh?" As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he knew it was possibly the dumbest thing he had ever spoken. But there was still that hesitancy tearing at him, that dose of reality that made him question everything and take nothing at face value.

"You're really going to make me do this, aren't you?"

He responded with a blank look.

"Ugh." She groaned then threw her hands up in surrender. "Fine! Fine! But only to prove that I'm an angel. You are unbelievably stubborn. Look at me! Do I look mortal to you? No, don't answer that. You'll say something equally dumb. I thought humans were supposed to be smarter this century. Just proving me wrong." She finished her rant, slamming her hands on her hips.

"You done?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're lucky I'm your guardian angel, otherwise I'd be tempted to kick your ass." She grumbled. "Might still do it anyway."

His lips twitched in amusement but he hid it from her.

Her eyes, those orbs that shone like twin stars, fluttered closed for the briefest of moments. She breathed deep and with her deliberately slow exhale….he saw them. Two feathered wings of pure white, the color of a fresh snowfall, spread out on either side of her. What meager breath his lungs contained vanished at the side of them. A profound, awestruck wonder enveloped him in its constricting embrace. She stretched her wings out, giving him a view of how magnificent they truly were. At their full length, they were double the length of her arms, and tall enough for the lowest feathers to graze against the grass. While the backs of the feathers appeared snowy white, it was when the wings were at their full length, catching the sun's rays that he caught just another facet of their beauty. For the feathers lining the inside of the wings shimmered in the sun's rays like iridescent opals.

She was radiant. Shining brighter than the sun.

And Tommy was the scum of the earth, unworthy of being in her presence, unworthy of being witness to her illustrious glory. Yet nothing could tear his gaze away from her. Even his own dark sins felt somehow redeemable as she smiled sweetly down at him.

"Do you believe me now?"

"Yes." The word expelled from his lungs, riding on a shaky breath.

Her smile grew, almost blinding him. She closed her eyes briefly once more, this time a tremor rocked her body. Simultaneously, her wings folded back behind her only to vanish as if never there. She rolled her shoulders lazily, then walked towards him with an unnatural grace in her fluid movements. Even when she sat down, near enough he could feel the comforting warmth of her body yet not close to touch, facing in the same direction, his eyes refused to peel themselves away from her.

Her gaze drifted to the stream, watching it with a fond smile. He followed her example, forcibly ripping his eyes off her and back to the gentle water.

"You're me guardian angel then, eh? I reckon I've kept you busy lately."

"You have no idea." She rolled her eyes playfully at him. "And I suspect that won't stop even after the war."

"If I survive." He was uncertain if he actually uttered the words or just thought them.

Those three words, though, haunted his every step. It was that mindset, those thoughts, that every soldier tried to ignore even as they could never be pushed too far from the mind. The high possibility that War and it's possessive lover, Death, would claim him. That he would die in this godforsaken country in a muddy tunnel or trench, surrounded by blood and piss and pain. Or even worse, having to witness his brothers or friends be chosen instead of him. That he would be left behind to rot away in the empty land of the living. He was unsure which possibility was worse- dying or surviving.

He must have uttered those three words aloud since her head whipped around, eyes staring at him with such compassion it made his heart clench.

She reached down and grabbed his hand, holding it clasped between her own soft hands. "You will. I can promise you that. You will survive this war and return to Birmingham….along with your friends and brothers. You've kept them safe, Tommy." She implored, her voice begging him to believe her.

But hope was deadly poison, sinking in and whispering promises that it could never guarantee. Yet as he stared back at her gleaming eyes, feeling the warmth of her hands clasping his, he could feel that hope, that forbidden fruit, dripping into his veins, clearing away the hollowness that he bound himself in.

"I tried." He whispered. His chest ached with something that tasted like hopelessness and desperation. "I try to keep them safe, to make sure they survive but it's war….this bloody, fuckin' war…."

"I know. You will survive and so will they."

He nodded, that little boy inside of him clinging to her words with a death-like grip. "I'm so fuckin' tired of shovels and darkness. I'm 'fraid it won't leave me head even after." He admitted in a pained whisper, his gaze watery even as he furiously tried to blink the tears away. As if the admission sucked the last of his energy, leaving him a dull shell of himself, his chin dropped to his chest, no longer even able to fight the tears leaking from his eyes. "I'm so tired."

"I know." Her hands tightened around his, bringing it to her chest. Remorse and sorrow filled in the gaps of her words. "I wish I could help."

"Could you…." His voice trailed off with a nearly silent sob.

Somehow she knew what his words failed to convey. Instantly, she climbed into his lap, legs straddling him as she wrapped him in her arms. Not for one second did she seem to care that his clothing was filthy and likely would stain her snowy dress. His head landed on her shoulder, his hands gripped the fabric of her dress like it was his last tether to this world. That without her holding him, he would drift away into nothingness.

"It's alright, Tommy, it's alright." She softly cooed, one hand massaging the back of his neck. "I've got you. I'm not leaving you. You can let go."

And he did.

As if her words were the final plug yanked away, the stronghold containing his emotions burst wide open. Heaving sobs fell from his lips. A torrent of tears watered her dress and their skin. All the pain, all the fear, all the frustration and anger and terror, everything that he had locked away deep inside his mind to appear strong and resident for his brothers and his men….it all came flowing out like a ceaseless, raging river, like pus from a wound.

As he wept, she tightly held him. The only anchor saving him from drowning. All the pain he had been allowing to fester since Greta's death, since his mother's death, since his father's abandonment, it all was bled from him.

Now he felt peace in the safety of her arms. Something he had never experienced in his life. As a child there was always the threat of his father's return and subsequent beatings. The lingering, gnawing hunger in his belly from lack of food, no matter what his mother did to try and feed all of her children. Then it was denying himself to feel anything as he was forced to provide for his siblings. That betrayal, that emptiness, at his mother's death was only an afterthought. And as if the world had not cast enough misery in his life, he found love and watched her slowly wither away as he desperately made pleas and bargains with a God he never believed in. Then War swept in like a ravenging plague to drag him into its depths, binding him in chains until Death stole his soul or War released him with a mocking smile. For who ever truly escaped War and Death? Once one was within their grasp, they would always be forever scarred.

But for the moment, for this finite and limitless break in an unforgiving reality, he was safe. In her embrace, he did not have to be strong. He could be that boy again that just wanted to be held and told that he was enough. That he was loved. So this dream, this illusion, he drank it in like a man dying of thirst in the desert. He breathed in her sweet scent and soaked in the warmth of her touch, reveling in the feeling of being held without expecting a demand in return. He could simply be.

After a time, his tears dried and his inner storm of turmoil died down. With a heavy sigh, he pulled his head back. His hands released their grip and floated down to land on her hips. Her eyes, those gleaming eyes with the light of stars in them, gazed at him gently. Not with pity. They met his own gaze as if reading into his soul and trying to implant this moment of serenity there.

Tenderly, she brushed away the residue of tears on his cheeks. "You are not a simple man, Thomas Shelby. You have the marking of greatness and destiny upon you. I cannot save you from this, but I can grant you a small gift. Something to help when it seems peace has abandoned you and the darkness threatens to swallow you whole."

At his nod, she placed her hand on the left side of his chest, over his heart. A jolt shot through him like a lightning bolt. His eyes widened and his heart raced as his body struggled to remember to breathe. Almost as quickly as the bolt hit him, it disappeared, leaving him wondering what happened.

His icy blue eyes sought hers once again, seeking understanding.

Her hand retracted from his chest, moving to cup his cheek. "Just remember you are not alone. I will always be nearby, watching over you."

Carefully he licked his lips, tasting the salt on them from his tears, before he gave a single nod. After a long second he managed to rasp out, "don't s'pose you have a cigarette."

She rolled her eyes. "Those are terrible for you. Besides, what kind of angel do you think I am?"

"I suspect not a very good angel, eh? Sitting in a man's lap like this. Givin' him ideas." He teased, giving her hips a quick squeeze.

She laughed, and whatever bottomless pit his heart resided in soared up to the heavens at the sound. He hoped to never forget it.

"Deviant." She smacked his shoulder before sliding off his lap to sit next to him, their shoulders touching. "A 'good' angel, as you say, would not be able to keep up with you."

"I s'pose that's a fair point."

"You know you've had two other guardian angels assigned to you before, but they both sought reassignment. Apparently you were more than they could handle." She lightly teased.

"Yeah?"

"Hmmm….Arthur's even worse. You wouldn't believe the number of guardian angels he's gone through. There's a few of us taking bets on how long this next one will last. You Shelbys certainly keep us on our toes."

He smirked. "My apologies."

"You're not sorry. It's alright, I don't mind. Being your guardian angel gives me a front row to watch you succeed. Now I don't have to creep around and watch, somehow Gabriel always caught me and then I would get the disapproving eyes and that shake of his head that makes you know he's disappointed without him even saying it."

"You'd watch me?"

He was unsure if an angel could blush, but when she dropped her head, shielding her face from his gaze, he knew she had not expected him to catch those words in her statement. Chuckling quietly, he wondered how he had ever earned the interest of an angel. Especially the one beside him.

"Shut up." She smacked his thigh this time.

"I don't know much about guardian angels, yeah? But I would think they aren't supposed to tell their….person to shut up or hit them. I may have to report you to your superiors."

"Ugh, Christ." She mumbled, covering her face with her hands.

"And now using the Lord's name in vain." He tisked with a click of his tongue. "You're definitely not a 'good' angel."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. That's how I've managed to stay with you for so long."

"Or when you'd creep on me."

"Shut up!" She smacked him again, both of them ending up laughing.

He snagged her hand, partially to keep her from hitting him again, and threaded their fingers together. A thrill shot through him when she did not pull away. A peaceful silence filled the air around them. For several minutes, they just watched the nearby stream together. Tommy wished they never had to leave this. That they could forever stay here.

A sullen sigh drew his attention back to her. A remorseful pain clouded her eyes as they met his. "You have to wake up now."

"No."

"I'm sorry. They need you."

"I don't want to." Suddenly he could feel it in the back of his mind, like someone tapping on a door, trying to summon his attention. He ignored it, wanting to stay here, wanting to linger in the serenity that he had never experienced before. With each passing heartbeat, the tapping got louder and louder.

"I know. But you have to."

"Please." The plea, the begging, fell from his lips before he could stop it. Maybe another time he would be embarrassed by it. Thomas Shelby never begged. Not for food, he'd rather steal and deal with the coppers. Not for his father's beatings to end, for if his father was focused on him, then his mother and siblings were safe. He never begged….until now.

"Just remember that I'm always with you, Tommy." A single tear streaked down her cheek, glistening in the sunlight. "I promise I won't leave you."

He nodded, squeezing her hand still holding his. What more could be said? This dream, this illusion, was only a reprieve from reality and now it was time to return.

Without his permission, his eyes closed. That tapping turned into a thunderous knocking against his brain. Each knock coincided with his heartbeat, feeling like a grenade going off with each one. He wanted to scream into the void, to make it stop. To promise to wake if the sound would only cease. The sound was both inside and outside him, like he was stuck inside a drum, constantly being beat upon in a slow rhythm that was building, building, building…..

"Tommy."

His mind latched onto his name, following the sound through the painful thundering. The darkness surrounding him swiftly turned gray.

"Tommy!"

His stormy eyes snapped open. He gasped as he sat up in a frenzy, almost headbutting Freddy who was knelt beside him.

"Easy, man, easy." He coaxed.

Tommy rubbed a hand over his face, attempting to dislodge the sleep, the dream, from his mind, as he returned to the familiar mud and darkness he found himself in. "What is it?"

"They're on the other side."

That simple statement made Tommy's head jerk up to stare at his friend. It was now that he could see Danny had dimmed the lantern. That a soft pounding sounded through the tunnel like an echoing of doom. The calling card of Death's arrival.

His gaze shifted to Danny who squatted nearby, watching his Sergeant, awaiting orders, even as he rung his hands nervously.

"Alright, boys, you know what to do." Tommy spoke quietly. That was enough to send the three men grabbing for what weapons they were allowed in the tunnels.

The dirt and mud at the far end of the tunnel shook with each pounding, the enemy drawing closer with each second.

His hand slid to his chest, ghosting over his heart where she had touched him. In that movement, he could feel it. As if she had branded herself to him. With his hand over his rapidly beating heart, he felt her presence, like a line straight to her. And it gave him courage. He remembered her words, her declaration. He would make it home. Him and his brothers and his friends, this War would not claim them.

"In the bleak midwinter." Tommy murmured just before the enemy's shovels broke through and all hell was set loose.

*****

The cigarette smoke curled in the air, rising heavenward. Tommy leaned back in his plush, leather chair, watching the smoke drift away until it vanished. In one hand was the lit cigarette and the other a tumbler of whiskey. His two constant vices. The very things he needed more than air and water and food. The only things to keep him going.

If he was in a better mood, he might have snorted self-deprecatingly at the thought.

At one time, what kept him going was family and ambition. To bring his family out of the slums and make a name for them.

Yet it was Christmas Eve and he sat all alone in his office in the Arrow House.

He had wealth now. He had prestige. His family no longer resided in the filth of Small Heath. More and more people knew the name Shelby now. It was everything he had wanted. And still he was all alone.

Even little Charlie had been tucked into bed hours ago by his nanny. Something a father should have done on Christmas Eve. But it never occurred to him until later, long after his boy was in bed.

So he continued to sit all alone, watching the smoke rise from his mouth and dance in the air until it vanished.

"Hello, Tommy."

He blinked slowly. It had been years since he heard her voice, even in his dreams. More than once he had wondered if she had abandoned him even after her promise.

Lazily, he rolled his head to the side, piercing her with his signature cool indifference. Perhaps if he had anymore tears to cry, he would have wept at her beauty, at the air of serenity she still carried. But he felt even more dead inside than when he labored digging tunnels. Tears were useless for the dead.

She still wore the same white dress, still barefoot and without wings. She looked exactly how he remembered seeing her so long ago. His heart clenched at the sight of her. If he had felt unworthy the first time he beheld her, now he knew his presence tainted her just by the proximity, his sins heaped upon one another to destroy anything good he touched.

With that effortless grace, she walked from the doorway further into his office. Her eyes scanned all around as if seeing the place for the first time, a small smile lit up her face.

"You know, you could make my job a little easier." She quipped, making her way over to him. She leaned against the side of his desk, just within reach, watching him with those gleaming, star-filled eyes that penetrated his soul.

"Aye. Could have." He said in an exhale, each word accompanied by smoke.

"But we all know the great Thomas Shelby lives for danger. He needs that rush to remember he's alive."

"Or he doesn't know how else to live."

A suffocating silence filled the void after he uttered the painful words. A harrowing truth he avoided at all costs. Even in the darkest of nights, when whiskey or opium blinded him but sleep refused to find him, not even then did he scratch at that truth.

With a sudden huff, she extended her hand, fingers wiggling at him.

"Wot?"

"Give it here."

A single eyebrow raised in mild shock, he handed his half used cigarette over. She immediately inhaled deeply, holding it for a moment before letting the smoke slip past her lips like a song.

He chuckled when she handed it back over. "Thought you was an angel, isn't smokin' a sin or somethin'?"

"Yeah, well, told you, I'm not a 'good' angel. How else would I keep up with you?"

They passed the cigarette back and forth quietly a few times before he broke the silence.

"Y'know, when you said you was goin' give me a gift, you never mentioned it would be tattooed to my skin."

She smirked, that twinkle of mischief in her eyes. "I think it looks good on you. Do you not like it?" She leaned forward and placed her hand flat over his heart, right where the several dark lines lay that looked almost like a rising sun.

"Startled me the first time I saw it." He placed his hand over hers, that tingle that shot through him at the touch now a familiar comfort. "Where have you been?"

"Believe it or not, but I may have gotten into some….trouble after our last encounter. Apparently I wasn't supposed to tell you that you'd survive."

"They reassign you?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. I was just forbidden to show myself to you."

"Why now?"

She hesitated before speaking, her gaze dropping to their hands still over his heart before she quietly spoke. "Because you need me."

Tommy waited for the shame to sink its claws into him. That feeling he hated of needing someone else, of not being able to survive on his own. But it never came. Instead a swell of gratitude enveloped him that she was here. That for this short time, he was not alone.

He dropped the cigarette into the overfilled ash tray on his desk and set his tumbler down next to it. Carefully he shifted and tugged her closer. She willingly stepped in between his spread legs. That sense of peace he had yearned for since he first encountered her swallowed him whole, bringing tears of relief to his eyes. He dropped his head to her stomach, hands fisting the back of her dress. One of her hands carded through his hair and massaged his neck while she softly hummed a tune.

"I used to talk to you sometimes when I couldn't sleep, yeah? And the fuckin' shovels were knockin' on me bedroom wall. I'd tell you about me day or plans I had. Anythin' to get the shovels to stop." He confessed.

"I was always there. I heard you."

"But you never spoke." It would have come out almost an accusation if his agony was not apparent.

Her breath hitched, her hand stalling in the longer strands of his hair. He could feel her bend slightly to kiss the top of his head. When she spoke, it was filled with regret. "I couldn't. But I was there with you, every night and day. Always by your side."

"Everyone has left me." He pressed the side of his face further into her stomach as if to sink himself into her, desperately trying to absorb what peace she so willingly offered him. "You're not leavin' me, right?"

"No, Tommy. I'll never leave you." She promised.

He allowed her words to penetrate his soul, to let the flooding warmth in them mend his broken heart. Those simple words renewed his spirit. That no matter what happened, there would always be one person by his side. Even if he could not see her. At least his guardian angel believed in him.

Tag List:

Peaky Blinders (all): @slytherinicequeen @geekandbooknerd @lilyrachelcassidy @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie