#anyway this is lowkey a gift to my poor secret santa

[everysongineverykey]

Glam, Glitter, and Goblins

So! My kotlc secret santa was @ladystinaheks, who mentioned liking awesome dresses and the color blue, so here's a little fanfic about the kotlc girls being introduced to human dresses that i hope you'll enjoy! (I wanted the title to be a pun on the name of some fashion show but couldn't think of anything lol)

"Well?" pressed Sophie excitedly. "What do you guys think?"

The looks on the girls' faces were those of a group of people who had just been introduced to a wildly new style and did not know what to think. Sophie knew that much without having to read their minds. Her desire to belong was still strong enough that if even one of her friends decided they didn't like their dress, she'd cry.

Ro watched it all with an amused smile on her face. Sophie hadn't told her about her gift yet.

"It's..."

All eyes turned to Linh, who was holding up her simple blue sleeveless robe. It didn't go past her knees, useful for moving around in, but probably unlike anything Linh or any of the other girls had seen before, let alone worn. She stared into the mirror, holding it against her chest, passing her eyes over it again and again, evidently trying to find the right word.

"It's definitely... shorter than what I normally wear," she said tentatively, quickly smiling over at Sophie. "But I can get used to it."

"So you like it?" Sophie asked eagerly.

"Well, I- I'll know when I put it on. But it's making a good first impression, yeah, definitely."

Sophie beamed as Linh sidled into the bathroom to try it on.

"You know," said Stina thoughtfully, pulling her human dress over her tunic and watching the way it swished when she turned, "I never expected something so weirdly..."

She paused, staring at her reflection and scrunching up her nose.

"Simple?" tried Sophie.

"....Eeeyeah," agreed Stina slowly. "That. But also elaborate."

Sophie looked at Stina in her floor-length sky-blue prom-ish dress and decided she agreed. It was plain by elvin standards, but the embroidery around the collarbone and shoulder area definitely added a spark of elfin pizzazz.

"It's... yeah. Plain, but it tries. It's not bad, actually. This is what human women wear every day?"

"That?" Sophie had to laugh. The thought of Amy and her human mother drifting around the house in prom dresses all the time was honestly hilarious. Amy didn't even like dresses that long anymore- she'd grown out of that phase by the age of eleven, apparently. "No, definitely not."

This response elicited looks of confusion from all of the girls.

"So then, what do they wear?" Biana chimed in.

Sophie opened her mouth to tell her the truth, but then closed it as a clever lie occurred to her.

"You won't believe this," Sophie began mischievously, "But they actually wear weird Halloween costumes most days. Mostly ducks, clowns, dinosaurs, that kind of stuff."

"Really?" asked Ro eagerly from across the room. "Oh, man. I mean, that's probably not true. But oh man, I wish it was."

"It is true," Sophie insisted. "It started out as a jokey fad in the eighties, but it took off, and now it's commonplace to walk down a street in any country and see women all around dressed up as princesses."

"Ha!" snorted Maruca. "You're lying. Halloween? Isn't that that weird holiday you have where you disguise yourselves and ask strangers for candy? I'm calling your bluff. What are these even for if they're not everyday wear?"

Sophie tried to keep a straight face, but gave up once she saw Biana smirking at her. "Yeah. Okay. You're right. I'm lying. Yeah, no, the dresses I gave you guys are mostly just formal wear. Except for Linh's- speak of the angel-" (Linh had just appeared from the bathroom clad in her new dress) "- Linh's, Marella's, and Grizel's. Those are technically sundresses. They're common on hot days, but-"

"Wait," Biana cut in, "You mean this is what humans wear to important occasions?"

She held up her dress, which wasn't really a dress so much as it was a shoulderless mini dark blue top covered in sequins accompanied by a floor-length ruffled skirt, also navy blue. It classified as a prom dress, though.

"Eh, that one's technically supposed to be worn to prom- which is this big fancy high school dance that basically all human schools have- but yeah, it could definitely work for a fashion show or something. Don't you like it?"

"Like it?" repeated Biana incredulously. "I mean... yeah, of course I like it, but it's way too... plain for stuff like formal dances or whatever."

Sophie was unable to control her laughter. Of course they would find these tame. Why hadn't she predicted this? She debated telling them about what humans wore for relaxed occasions. "Oh, my god. You know that's one of the most expensive on the market, right? That's supposed to be the most extravagant prom dress out there, and you're calling it... plain."

She couldn't see Biana's face, and she wasn't sure she wanted to.

"If that's formal," Marella demanded, "If mine's formal, then what's casual??"

"Oh, god..." Sophie wiped away a tear. "Most human women usually just wear shirts and pants."

Silence.

"Shirts and pants," said Linh weakly, reminding everyone she was still there. "That's what you wear every day."

"That's why you were complaining about having to wear dresses when you first got here," Biana whispered. "Oh, wow. What a life to live. And that's not considered... weird or anything?"

"Believe it or not," Sophie giggled, "Human women spent the better part of history fighting for the right to wear pants. There's no concept of d-" her voice degraded into laughter again as she tried to enunciate "dress nobility".

"Huh," said Maruca plainly. "That's hard to imagine. Then what I'm wearing is fancy to you?"

She did a little twirl in her incredible outfit. It was navy blue, floor-length, covered head to toe in sparkles, fully sleeved with the fabric at the bottom spiraling out in a circle. Sophie nodded, still smiling. Maruca looked like a literal goddess- then again, all the girls did.

"Well," said Grizel, speaking up for the first time that afternoon, "I quite like mine- even if it isn't exactly what we wear at home."

Grizel's dress had been difficult to find, but it was very elegant- a dark blue maxi dress covered in blue and white flowers. Sophie was rather proud of her choice.

"I like mine, too," added Marella, "Though I think red and orange would go better with my aesthetic. But yeah. I like it. Blue at the chest, white everywhere else? It's nice. A little plain, but they all are."

"I'm so glad," Sophie smiled.

"And I'm glad I didn't get one," Ro said. "You elves might be all for frills and sparkles, but I'm content to sit out. But it was fun watching the girls adjust to a lack of glitter. Thanks for this, Blondie." She clapped Sophie on the shoulder.

"Actually," Sophie said confidently, "I've got something for you, too."

Ro stopped in her tracks, looking at Sophie like she had just sprayed her with glitter.

"Ex-cuse me?" she said as politely as possible.

"Oh, you're in for it now," chuckled Grizel.

"What?" Ro looked like she could kill Sophie right there. "Blondie. No. You didn't."

"Don't worry," laughed Sophie. "It's not what you think. Here. At least take a look." She handed Ro a plain white box, the same one that the others had come in.

Ro took one look at the box, took it warily, then looked down at Sophie menacingly.

"Listen here, kid, if this has even one sequin on it, you'll know exactly how much flesh-eating bacteria I've been growing."

"Oh, I'd like to help with that if there is," offered Grizel excitedly before being shushed by Marella. Everyone was crowded around the poor ogre by now, craning their necks to see the box's contents.

Ro shot Sophie a warning look, then lifted the lid and pulled out, to everyone's surprise, a leather jacket.

"See, I'm not that stupid," said Sophie as Ro pulled it over her shoulders and took a look in the mirror.

"Huh. Well. It's a lot more lowkey than everything else I've seen today. But..." she paused, as if lost in thought. "But it's not bad. Tasteful. Like everything else, a little plain. But cool. Cool. Alright, you've escaped punishment this time, Blondie, but I'll be on the lookout."

"I'm sure you will," said Sophie teasingly. "And you look good. By any standards. You all do."

It was true. They were all stunning- well, more than usual, anyway.

"Funny," said Marella. "If this is female fashion, then men's couture must be, I mean, just like this. Right?"

Sophie didn't have the heart to tell them about the intensely boring suits men wore for formal occasions. It would, she supposed, have to wait another day.