#anyway this 100% that i've handed out here is actually the like 50% that *doesn't* go to the slaughterhouse 9

[dw-flagler]

funny how much victoria places squarely on the shoulders of tattletale. she COULD HAVE STOPPED THE ENDBRINGERS AT ANY TIME but she DIDN’T just so that leviathan could KILL MY FAMILY. honey you sound insane.

[valiantstarlights]

[Fae!Dream and Vampire!Hob AU]

For @gabessquishytum and wing anon 🖤 I've had this in my notes for a couple of weeks, but now seems to be a good time to share it. 😊

Fun fact, this was inspired by these lines from Baby, It's Cold Outside: "I wish I knew how / (Your eyes are like starlight now) / To break this spell"

Don't ask. The weather was 30°C+ outside when I typed this up. 😂

CW: the tiniest amount of spice, and Dream and Hob being insane about each other as usual.

Fae!Dream runs away from home in the middle of winter and ends up on the wrong side of the forest. He has never been here before. The trails are winding and changes directions when he isn't looking, and the trees are indifferent to his plight, refusing to point him towards the fae side of the forest. 'We are too sleepy,' they say. 'Fuck off.'

Soon, though, he comes upon a castle, and he can see that there's light inside. Snow is already falling pretty hard by then, and Dream is so desperate for warmth and shelter that he knocks on the imposing front doors.

It takes a while for someone to answer, but Dream waits. It's a huge castle. He's about to knock again when the door opens and a handsome vampire peeks his head out. When he sees Dream, shivering and hunched over, lips almost blue, he hurriedly opens the door wide and ushers him in.

Dream enters the castle. Despite everything he has learned in his long, long life.

He knows he has to tread carefully. It's common knowledge that fae and vampires don't get along. But he also knows how important inviting someone inside is to vampires, and he doesn't exactly have a choice. He has two options, and they are: 100 percent chance of freezing to death on one hand, and 50 percent chance of being murdered by a vampire on the other.

Although...now that he's looking, he thinks the vampire looks nice, actually. He's currently talking about getting Dream warmed up in front of a fire and getting him some soup, then apologizing right after because there won't be garlic in the soup.

Dream thinks his voice sounds lovely.

The vampire keeps his promises. Soon, Dream is warm in front of a fireplace, eating creamy vegetable soup. The vampire talks about how he made the soup, and Dream can tell that he's just as nervous as having a fae in his home. But Dream senses no falsehood in his words or in his manners.

Dream is so fucking charmed by him that he (unthinkingly) asks him his name. And then realizes his mistake one second later when the vampire's open features shutter close and his muscles tense.

"My name is Dream," Dream offers. He knows he should not give his name. Not his true one, anyway. And yet he does.

If the vampire's goal is to hurt him, he does not need Dream's true name for that. Dream is still weak from running and escaping his bodyguards. If the vampire wants to hurt him, he'll be too weak to fight back.

"Sure," the vampire says, and...yeah, he's right to be suspicious. 'Dream' isn't exactly one of the top 100 baby names for male fae babies. Lord and Lady Endless knew what they were doing when they named their children. "You can call me Hob."

Hob.

His name doesn't taste like a lie, but Dream knows it's not his real name. It's fine. He likes 'Hob.'

"Thank you for offering me shelter," Dream says. He knows he shouldn't show gratitude or else it will bite him in the ass in the future. He does so anyway. "I was running away from home."

He knows he is under no obligation to speak the truth in its purest form. He has learned how to mislead and twist his words in a way that is still true, but volunteers less information. He does so anyway.

Hob is looking at him intensely, like he is also trying to figure Dream out. "May I ask why?"

And so the whole story falls out of Dream's mouth. It's the first time he has ever talked to anyone about how he is being treated at home, but Hob is respectful and lets him talk. Hob is nice and pours him a glass of water when his voice become hoarse.

Hob is lovely because when Dream starts to break down in the end, telling him all about the entire business with the Burgesses, he takes out a handkerchief and wipes Dream's tears away himself.

"I'm so sorry about everything that has ever happened to you," Hob says in the end, when Dream realizes that he is on Hob's lap, being held. It feels nice. He wants to snuggle up further, but his manners prevent him from doing so. "But I'm glad you've left them for good."

That makes Dream pause, and he shakes his head. "I have not. Technically, I am still under their protection." He looks outside to see heavy snowflakes still drifting down, and an occasional wind gusting through. "I still have to go home."

Hob looks out the window and then back to him incredulously. "In this weather?"

"I have to," Dream insists. "If not..."

"If not?"

Dream looks down at his lap. At Hob's handkerchief that was somehow now in his hands. It's a pretty cream color with the initials R.G. embroidered on the corner. Dream does not think what the initials mean because he doesn't want to pry. Hob's true name is his business alone. But he likes the handkerchief. Perhaps he can keep it as a souvenir of his time at the castle of the handsome vampire. It would be his most prized possession. He will not draw attention to it so Hob will forget to ask him to return it. "If not," Dream says, "I will die before the season turns."

Hob inhales sharply, and then he's clasping Dream's arms. "Is that a fae thing?"

Dream nods miserably. It's how they lost Destruction. And how Dream will be lost, if he doesn't get back. He hopes Death will take care of Jessamy for him.

"Is there no loophole for that?" Hob asks, looking frantic. "There must be something. Like...I don't know, like a transfer of protection?"

Hob must be a very young vampire for him not to know the rules. But Dream knows the rules by heart, and all the loopholes as well, from hundreds of years trying to bend them. And the only way...

"Oh."

"Oh?" Hob echoes. "Is there a way to save you after all?"

There is, but--

He could not possibly--

"I have to leave," Dream announces, and regretfully gets off of Hob's lap and starts walking away.

"What? Why?" Hob asks, standing up himself and following him. "Do you have to go on a quest for some item or something? Stay the night. There's literally a blizzard--"

"I cannot!" Dream shouts.

Hob, shocked by Dream's outburst, holds his hands up peaceably. "Alright," he says gently. "May I ask why?"

Dream bites his lip and says nothing.

"Tell me," Hob begs. "Please. I want to help."

Dream shakes his head. Nobody wants to help. Randall had tried to trap him against his will. Alexander was too afraid of his father and brother to help Dream escape and had only pointed him deeper into their house. Dream almost didn't make it.

Hob exhales. Not out of impatience, but out of a decision reached. "Look," he says, hands still open in a gesture of peace. "I know you have no reason to trust me, but I really do want to help you. I know a thing or two about being trapped in a situation I do not want to be in, and I wouldn't want anyone else to experience that. So...I would like you to know my name."

Dream gapes at him. A vampire willingly giving his own true name to a fae? It's practically unheard of. It's a trick. It's--

Hob takes a deep breath and says, "My name is Robert Gadling."

'R.G.' The handkerchief is his. Dream's fingers tingle at this new information.

There is a change that happens, when someone tells a fae their true name voluntarily, knowing exactly what they're getting into. It's a different kind of change than when their name is tricked out from them.

If their name is tricked out of them, a thin string, only visible to the fae, connects the being to the fae they gave their name to, as a sign of possession.

But when someone tells a fae their true name the way Hob--Robert Gadling, just did, they will look more real to the fae. More tangible.

And a more tangible Robert Gadling, a kind and handsome vampire who would open his doors to a fae, feed them, keep them warm, and want to help them save their life? All the while smelling of nothing but sincerity?

"Tell me," Hob, Robert, says again. "I want to help you."

Dream suddenly hungers for him. And his sudden yearning to make Hob his is not conducive to the conversation. "You--"

"Please," he says. "Unless there's something preventing you to? More of your fae rules?" He looks contemplatively at the space between them. "Do I have to kneel?"

No. Yes. Lie and make him kneel.

"If I stay," Dream says faintly, the words tumbling out of his mouth without his conscious consent, "my parents' protection will slowly pass to my current host."

Hob looks alarmed at that, probably wondering how many hours it has been since Dream has arrived. "How slowly?"

"A week at most."

The answer, of course, is much more complicated than that. In the case of the Burgesses, Dream still has his parents' protection at the end of Day 5, when he finally escaped. In Unity Kincaid's case, she was so in love with Desire that it only took a day for her parents' protection to fade.

But with the way things are going between him and Hob, and with how fast Dream is prone to falling in love, his parents' protection will most likely fade after three days. At most.

"So stay," Hob says, as if it were that simple. He is still so young. He doesn't know what he is offering. "If you haven't noticed yet, the castle is entirely empty, aside from the castle's spirit itself. It takes care of itself and was kind enough to open its doors for me when I rose from the dead. And if it can offer me, a no-good vampire who used to be a highwayman, a home, then who am I to not offer you my protection as well?"

'Highwayman' is a term that cannot be more than 300 years old. Dream is robbing the cradle.

"I am saying," Dream says slowly, "that if you are to offer me your protection, once my parents' protection has faded, you would be considered my husband. The fae will consider us married."

Hob blinks. "Oh."

"Yes, 'oh,'" Dream cannot help but say mockingly. "That is why I must leave."

But Hob just gestures to the windows helplessly, begging him to see sense at the sight of the howling winds that are thankfully muffled by the thick castle walls. "In this weather?"

"I must."

"A night."

"What?"

"Stay for the night," Hob begs. "The weather might be better tomorrow. And if so, I will give you my thickest coat and help you get back to fae land myself. If...if you are afraid of me, I will stay here in the study, and you may choose any room you'd like to stay in for the night."

Dream stares at him, and ignores the way his body is pleasantly tingling all over, but especially between his legs.

Faes are not good. They are greedy creatures who will take the entire dish when presented with a bite.

And in the face of Robert Gadling's kindness and consideration...

Dream walks up to Hob and grabs him by the collar of his dressing gown. If Hob is willing to give him a coat, then Dream will steal all his clothes for himself as well. If Hob is willing to offer him his protection, then Dream will cast his own on him and name him husband without bothering to wait for his parents' protection to fade. If Hob has shown him kindness for an hour, Dream will want him for the rest of their life.

"Kiss me," he says. Demands. Begs. He doesn't know anymore. All he knows is that if Hob does not kiss him, he will cry.

Hob looks baffled. "What...will that accomplish, exactly? If I may ask?"

Dream groans in frustration and stamps his feet. "I will be kissed," he says. "I will know what you taste like, and you will know mine. Our lips will be thoroughly acquainted and we will feel our tongues push wetly against each other. Is that not enough of an accomplishment for you?"

"Sounds like you want more than just a kiss, your highness," Hob says, but his gaze and his voice are lower now, which is exactly what Dream wants.

"I am not a prince," Dream tells him honestly. Always with honesty. "But I do want more than just a kiss from you. With the generosity you have shown me, with you telling me your name, if you do not kiss me, I will simply waste away and perish."

"Well, we can't have that," Hob says. "Not after I just saved you from freezing to death."

"No, we cannot," Dream agrees. "So kiss me, Robert Gadling." His true name on Dream's tongue tastes like sunlight. "Kiss me and protect me and make me yours right now."

Hob's eyes are dancing as he brushes a lock of hair away from Dream's face and tucks it behind his ear. "You're a greedy little fae, aren't you?"

"And you are still not kissing me, you stubborn vampire."

"I can't believe this is how my evening turned out," Hob chuckles, and touches their foreheads together. "I must have gone insane the moment I saw you. I would normally offer to court someone first before the topic of marriage can even be considered."

Dream pecks Hob's dimpled chin, impatient. He has a slight stubble that would feel wonderful against Dream's thighs. "I am not human. Or another vampire. I am a fae. And if you do not kiss me right now, I will go out in that snowstorm and--"

"Alright, you sweet impatient thing," Hob says, "No need for such threats." And finally dips his head down to touch their lips chastely.

Dream would have none of that, however, and surges upwards, intent on devouring him. Their sharp canines clack against each other, but it does not deter them.

"Are we insane?" Hob asks when Dream has to take a breath. It's so unfair that Dream has to breathe when Hob does not. "To do this right after we just met? Tell me truly."

"Yes," Dream answers honestly. "I do not know of anyone who consummated their coming together as one on the very day they met."

"Consummating, hm?" Hob's thumb presses against his hipbone when he pulls Dream closer to him. "We can do that."

"Yes," Dream agrees. "Right now. Please. Everything."

And Hob does just that.

--

His parents' protection fades even before Hob could fuck him, but he's too preoccupied by the feeling of Hob's stubble on his thighs to notice.

--

In the morning, Hob presents him with the most beautiful obsidian ring he has ever seen, and Dream immediately says yes before Hob could even ask the question.

--

"For the record," Hob says one night after they finished fucking in the library, "I was fully intending on lending you all my thick coats that first night. You looked so cold I was hesitant to even take off your clothes."

Dream snuggles up to him and drapes one leg over Hob's deliciously hairy thighs. "That would not have worked," he says, certain. "I would have simply taken off all my clothes and accepted nothing from you except your most translucent nightgowns to cover my nakedness."

"You will seduce a vampire? Didn't you tell me that our kind do not get along?"

Dream bites him gently on the shoulder with his smaller fangs.

"I would not seduce a vampire," he says haughtily. "I have met some before, and found none of them pleasing. It is you I would seduce. The man I have decided would be mine forever as my husband."

Hob kisses his forehead, and Dream could feel the foolish smile on his lips. "Who is a vampire."

"Shush, Robert Gadling," he says, unable to stop himself from smiling as well.

[elsfairy]

YOUTH ⋯ ♡ᵎ (Remember, this is just my interpretation of Sevika as a teenager. Nothing here is 100% true. I'm just making this up, okay? bare with me as I have nothing to go on. The only part that is true, as I've heard is about her dad. Thank you to everyone who helped me and gave me ideas, i would have lost it tbh)

✯ She's definitely that teen who is causing trouble for the sake of making trouble. Who hasn't been a troublemaker in their life?

✯ From a young age, she's had the 'look at me the wrong way & I'll beat you' look. That stone, cold stare that makes anyone tremble.

✯ A very big child when it came to all her favorite snacks. Especially muffins. She's a gushy being when she's got her chocolate chip muffins. Don't steal them from her though, she's breaking a hand.

✯ Has a small social circle. Just because she was able to do shit herself, she's only allowed a few people to be around her.

✯ Acts like those friends are annoying and piss her off, but would do anything to make sure they are protected. She cared. Even if she showed nothing.

✯ Ran her mouth, constantly.

✯ "Shut the fuck up, I don't care if you're over 50 years old, shut the fuck up already"

✯ Her relationship with her father isn't the best. It's all over the place so she doesn't really comment on it when someone asks. Not that they would dare. Whereas, her mother was completely different. She actually took time to be with her.

✯ Has been smoking for most of her teenage life. Mainly as a stress reliever. If she's not, then she's getting caught up in mischief to take her mind off what was called home.

✯ She's had her fair share of girlfriends. Some don't exactly stay longer than intended but she's had them nonetheless.

✯ "Sevika, this has been the 5th girl to leave your room in the past week"

✯ "What can I say? I'm irresistible"

✯ Her humor has always been so dry. For a long time, she doesn't really find anything amusing or funny. She was like a blank canvas. Not sure what she was doing.

✯ The Brothel was a place she always found herself whenever she was either angry or just flat-out bored. We don't question her life choices.

✯ "Going to the Brothel isn't going to fix what happened⎯"

✯ "We don't talk about her alright? You never bring her up. I for sure didn't give you the right to"

✯ If Sevika hated one thing, it would be the mere mention of her ex. She did not like thinking about it, let alone talking about it. It was her business and hers only.

✯ Growing up with brothers, gave her the advantage. She was able to work out with them whenever they would have the time. Just to have something she could protect herself with.

✯ Was always, somehow the class pet. That was when she attended, of course, half the time she was skipping whatever class she has. Still managed to keep up with her school work, not sure how.

✯ "Gonna get yourself into more shit if you keep it up, Sev"

✯ "Don't fuckin call me that. You left, you don't get to call me that anymore. You stopped being my sister years ago"

✯ She has always been let down by people who were supposed to care about her. Her first real love broke her heart for still unknown reasons. Her own father didn't really specify why he was always angry at her. Her own sister ran out on her. How was she supposed to trust anyone?

✯ Sevika was always sneaking around, leaving her home at weird times of the night. Either to fuck around with her friends, or get into random fights. Sadly, that was how she coped.

✯ But, if there was something she actually found comfort in, it would be to be on her own. Although she hated thinking about everything wrong in her life, she felt at ease when she was alone. She always felt alone as it was anyway.

✯ "You look really funny when your hair sticks out like that"

✯ "Ha ha, shut the fuck up. Leave my hair alone"

✯ She loved her.

✯ She would always wonder where her life went wrong when she was alone. Once, she felt happy. She actually felt like nothing could break her. Maybe she broke in the wrong ways. Sometimes, she just missed being able to tell the good from the bad.

✯ Getting into fights became a common thing for her. One day she would leave the house completely fine, then come home hours later covered in bruises and cuts. A part of her just did not care.

✯ Sad as it was, Sevika doesn't even remember the last time someone said they were proud of her. She got good grades... sometimes, but she would have wanted to hear it at least once again.

✯ She's definitely trying to start a fight with someone if they are getting too close to her or her friends. She didn't do well with new people, at all.

✯ A childish habit she had and still has, but she would always find herself randomly excited walking past the shops, especially the ones with the cakes in the window.

✯ Worked a shitty job at some crappy place just to be able to buy something she wanted. Or something she's had her eye on for a while. Money was alright, but it got her out the house.

✯ Would tense whenever someone would randomly walk behind her, or brush her shoulder as they tried to walk around her. She wasn't sure why she hated touch, she just did.

✯ Is constantly thinking of ways to leave or run away.

This is a mess... my fault guys <3. tbh, idk how to feel about this but if you like it, I can do another part. I missed a lot but, you would be here for hours reading.

[zukkaoru]

🍬❄️🪲 for the ask game!! <3

🍬 post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

where do i even begin.. beast s.kk isn't good. fem s.kk also isn't good. actually i don't see the point in shipping beast dazai with anyone. like yes he and chuuya were 100% sleeping together but that is so far from being even slightly relevant. yes i'm still so mad that 95% of beast content is about s.kk when every other character and dynamic in beast is more important than they are. i'm not a big fan of the trans chuuya or trans poe headcanons (unless trusted mutuals are writing it.) i think i do actually hc dazai as genderqueer but i think there's more nuance to it than most people allow.. i think dazai doesn't feel like he's either cis or nonbinary and just doesn't label his gender at all. anyway i could go on bc fanon dazai and chuuya both horrendously slaughter their actual characters and i haven't even touched my other fandoms yet but i will. stop here.

❄️ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

speaking of beast.. i'm still thinking about post-canon beast kunichuu.... as for who would write it best.. idk there aren't exactly an astounding amount of kunichuu writers out there 😭 also i would love to write my own canon!dazai gets transported into the beast world fic bc i'm sure there are fics out there with that premise but i literally don't trust one single other person in this entire fandom to write that. the thing about most of my dream fic ideas is that i need to be the one writing them because i'm the only one who truly understands them since. i came up with them. wait okay more generic premises that i would love to see someone write: kunichuu / kunidazai fake dating, kunichuuzai hanahaki, anything with transmasc gin. i also love a good no-curse au itafushi fake dating fic. i have read a few of those that i've enjoyed but there is always room for more fake dating fics in this world <3

🪲 add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

Lucy slams her hands down on the table. “Maybe you should start pulling your weight here, Akutagawa. Aya-chan is orchestrating everything, and I did the dirty work of stealing the notebook. Why can’t you pitch in for once? It’s not like Ranpo-san is going to ask for more than one bottle of Ramune, and I am certain your blood money from the Port Mafia can more than cover that.”

slightly more than fifty words but <3 the chaotic scheming friend group of lucy, aya, atsushi, and akutagawa <3

[thenopequeen]

okay I am going to go on the rant, although this might not be 100% what I said eairiler IRL because there are some things that are only able to be communicated via hand gesters and stutters.

Also I am aware I sound very Red String on Cork Board. I am open to taking criticism. um but gentle if possible.

So to start, let's look at the actual role given to Racer (I will be using either Race or Racer as it's a bit easier to type out and are the names used to refer to him in the broadway musical which is what I'm most familiar with.). Oh and when coming to anything specific I will be referring to the recorded 2017 version because that's the one I've got a link to so I can watch it while reading fanfics or drawing (/srs. i do do this)

Race is listed as a background/ensemble character in any source I can find (although I could be missing some). however, his actions/overall role in the story are more comparable to Crutchie, who is listed as a supporting character.

This is heavy evidence for placing him as a supporting character, however what makes it interesting is that Racer almost seems to be favored over the other background characters.

About 50% of his dialogue could be given to another character and it literally would not impact the plot much, unlike the other supporting characters, who are unthinkable to replace in anyway shape or form.

If we're continuing comparing Race to Crutchie, which I will because they share the most similarities role-wise, those two are the ones with the most prominent solo lines. Racer has several from multiple songs (King of New York, Carrying the Banner, and Once and For All include at least one solo line that could technically be given to literally anybody else), and Crutchie has a few solo lines and a song to himself. Actually if you remove the tap section, King of New York could be potentially read as the closest thing we get to a 'side' character having a song. Literally all the other songs are group focused when it comes to singing, or are done by main/supporting/antagonistic characters. Racer carries King of New York, setting a wonderful tone with the conversation just before the song starts, as well as his very over the top energy that is present through out the entire song. Okay I also have a soft spot for the song because it was the first song I ever did a tap dance too last year (nowhere near as impressive as the show but it was cool)

Racer also is in at least TWO scenes where he doesn't technically need to be there. First off, the one where it's easier to explain: the scene just before Once and For All, where the gang is at the printing press. Technically, Race doesn't need to be down there in the first place. While yes, it's probably so he knows the way to direct the others into the room, he doesn't need to be there in the moment. This is also never explained in literally anyway. he's just there. Technicality, he could follow the trail of unlocked doors or somebody could bring him in. While this is technically grasping at straws I will stand by this. The second is a really minor thing that you'll only notice if (like me) you've watched this musical enough that you can quote a good part of it.

So in the scene where Jack is teaching Davey and Les to sell papes that ends with them getting chased to the theater, if you look closely you'll see a familiar face

I have rewatched this scene several times to make sure it's Race. it is. Why is he there. Literally the only other people in this scene are the passbyers who buy a paper, Synder, and the trio. Why is Racer here. He just kinda vibes. I still want an explanation because EVERYBODY ELSE leaves the stage quickly. WHY IS HE THERE???

Now to quickly break into the more IRL universe, in the cast call of this production, which my brother watches so so often (he wants to do musical theater), Racer;s actor is NOT listed with the other newsies. Even Spot, who is listed as support/featured in most sources, is just grouped into the rest of the ensemble. Instead, Racer is grouped in with the Delancey brothers. I still don't understand this.

This is your reminder that Race is listed as ensemble by literally all sources I could be bothered to find.

On top of this, in both the movie and the show, he's one of the most named 'background' newsies. While I've only seen the movie a grand total of once (didn't like the music in the slightest), Racer is a character you see A LOT. Sometimes he's not really doing much, but he's there.

In the musical this is in part because there is so much personality packed into him, but still. Elmer and Albert also have a lot of personality and yet I still find that Racer feels like he has more screentime.

On top of this, Racer is present in literally ever scene with all the newsies. And ALWAYS as Racer.

Anyways this is a slightly unhinged rant. Also if you haven't figured it out Racer is my favorite character.

Yeah idk how that happened.

Anyways agree with your sister that Racer is a supporting character. at least in everything but casting.

The cynical part of me says it's so the producers can get away with paying the actor less. The deranged crossover nerd in me says he's a Watcher

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Baby Boomer Classics: Heart & Soul Fifties 1985/1988 R&B / Rock & Roll

Folks, I gotta say, for how short this release is—13 songs that amount to only about half an hour—this might be the most potent 50s comp that I've ever come across in my many years of collecting. See, there's plenty of nostalgic comps out there that just slap together a bunch of chart-busters and then call it a day without giving much of any thought to how much juice any of the selections may still actually have, but when the California-based JCI label put this dispatch from their Baby Boomer Classics series together in 1985, and then re-released it again in 1988 with a replacement of Wilbert Harrison's terrifically catchy R&B classic, "Kansas City," with Joe Turner's "Corinne, Corrina," they seemed to be far more concerned with how good the actual songs still sounded rather than with how well they charted back in the day.

And to be clear, most of these songs still did chart very well themselves anyway, but do you know how many big hits there were in the 50s that don't really sound that great anymore? A whole lot. And JCI didn't end up picking any of those for this album; these selections that they made almost four whole decades ago are still really no worse for wear than they were when they first came out. And that's pretty remarkable, given how much music from the 50s really doesn't quite strike like it used to anymore.

Now, if you already know your oldies like the back of your own hand, you're probably not gonna find much utility in this album, because even though there's no real lackluster filler in this small set, you're likely to be very familiar with these tunes already. But if you're someone who's never really been exposed to much in the way of great 50s music before, I really cannot recommend this album enough as your starter pack. You've got probably my favorite 50s hit of all time on this thing in Lloyd Price's "Stagger Lee"—a song so good that it legitimately has the capacity to turn me misty-eyed, even though I was born long after the 50s and have no personal nostalgic attachment to it whatsoever—as well as one of the greatest pieces of loud and dynamic group doo wop that's ever been recorded too: The Silhouettes' "Get a Job." And on top of that is Little Richard's "Lucille," plus Smiley Lewis' "I Hear You Knocking," which Little Richard would go on to cover himself too, as well as Welshman Dave Edmunds, who would deliver a great blues-rock version of it in 1970 🤘.

But, as seems to be a feature and not a bug with this Baby Boomer Classics series at this point, another one of the best songs on this record, which also happens to be probably its most obscure selection too, is a tune that's not actually from the 50s: Bobby Bland's "Turn On Your Love Light," which came out in 1961. While the rest of the songs on this album were big top-ten or top-twenty hits, this one only made it to #28 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart; so when it comes to this oldies comp wing of the music industry, this is not a tune that you're gonna come across very often. But it's a total gem, with a sweet and uptempo, shuffling drumbeat that's made to bolster Bobby Bland's own soulful voice that hits some really satisfying points of throaty gravelliness throughout 🥹.

I'm really in awe over how well JCI managed to nail this one. An assorted cream of the 50s crop right here in just 13 songs. Not an easy thing to pull off, but these are some really stellar choices 👍.

Highlights:

Wilbert Harrison - "Kansas City" Thurston Harris - "Little Bitty Pretty One" Bobby Bland - "Turn On Your Love Light" Little Richard - "Lucille" The Silhouettes - "Get a Job" Clyde McPhatter - "Lover Please" Smiley Lewis - "I Hear You Knocking" Lloyd Price - "Stagger Lee"

[qiqi-media]

Three questions:

What do you think about the book Aks and Vks(that is if you read the books)

Do you believe that descendants could have been a animated series from the start with ALL descendants kids and not just Mal

Who do you think got the worst treatment in the descendants fandom? AK version: Ben, Audrey, Lonnie or Chad?(or all 4)

I've read some of each book so I can answer briefly but I haven't ever sat down and read them all cover to cover back to back so excuse me if I left some things out.

1.) Pre-descendants (blank on which one was the prequel I think it was Isle of the lost not 100% though) Audrey was more naïve, honestly don't think I would've cared for her character if they kept her similar to female movie version Ben. I would've felt bad for her but I actually like movie Audrey more. A lot of fanfiction Audrey matches book Audrey's personality instead of Movie Audrey. I like that Audrey has a rougher personality, similar to the vks I relate Mal's d2 whole I'm not good enough and Evie's One kiss "maybe I'm just too bad" to her movie character because Audrey was selfish but she wasn't supposed to be she's a princess and I would've like to see how she struggled with that. In the books it's more or less non existent.

As for Ben I like him a lot more in the movies than in the books, I'm 50/50 on his book character. I think he's an ass, in the prequel it's implied that one of the only reasons he specifically picks Mal to come off the Isle because he has dreams about her (aka romantically interested) making it seem like he doesn't actually care for the Isle kids he just wanted to get himself a girl off of there. He's rude to Audrey, He basically implies that because he's becoming King his life is much harder than her fairy tale life and he thinks it's boring. He acknowledges that he doesn't even like her but continues to go out of these nicely planned dates with her. They make it seem like he's so tired and bored of everything in his life and that he's really only actively participating in friendships and relationships because he doesn't have anything else to do and takes the chance of bringing VKs into it to spice it up. They also instead of making it solely Mal's decision try to imply that Ben agreed with this decision instead of being pressured into it. Other than that he does seem like good o'l Ben there are sad moments were his insecurities of not being a good King are showed that I appreciated.

As for VKs

The Demon is worse than ever still the same terrible person that she is, except it's even worse now that I read her thoughts from the book.

Evie was shady sometimes but more or less the same character. They did give Carlos and Jay more lines and depth but I just feel like their characters book or movie version were never fully fleshed out. They have small characteristics that shows you hey it's this character talking but other times it's like you could switch the dialogue and say it's Jay talking here instead of Carlos and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

Uma is very close to her movie adaptation in my opinion, probably because she was only a movie character at first so the writer didn't have to struggle with giving a character a personally than having to change it when the movie decides to change it.

2.) If you mean make it so all the characters got equal screen time if it was a series than yeah I do. I know we all hate how it became the Mal show but I honestly struggle to see how they would flesh out each character in the last two movies anyway which is why you, myself and a lot of other people think it should've been a series so that all characters could've have an arc. Maybe then it wouldn't be "Mal and anybody she likes=right and anybody else= wrong"

3.) Worst treatment hands down Ben and Audrey but in general I think the fans are too hard on all the AKS especially the boy ones. Jane was forgiven, Lonnie is just there, there's nothing really to hate besides her hypocrisy. But Doug is shitted on because he was an insecure teenage boy who as a form of comedy relief calmy asked if Evie was seeing someone else and then tried to list his good points so that if Evie was seeing someone else she'd pick him over them. Chad is...a chad I do think it's unfair how the fandom hates him for using Evie but completely ignores the fact that she was doing the same thing. She didn't care about him and he didn't care about her why should one be hated over the other. Movie Chad really wasn't as much of a playboy as they tried to make him (I don't like Chad) but the only girl we see him show real interest in is Audrey. Everybody knows I don't think he was wrong for what he said at family day either it's just a strong bias against AKs.

Ben gets shitted on to lift up Mal like the series doesnt even jump start because of him. She gets credited for a lot of things he's done or should have been in charge of but gets shitted on for all the bad stuff that is never really his fault. Mal tries to spell him he rightfully gets angry and somehow he's pushing on being an abusive boyfriend??? If it's not from Mal fans it's unfortunately from Audrey fans blaming him for the Did I mention scene when he was clearly drugged. There's way more but let's cut it short.

Nothing Audrey can do is right in this fandom, when she didn't get herself involved with the Vks and didn't blindly trust them She's a mean girl she's a bully. When she snaps after having her life turned upside down, being betrayed and dropped by everyone she knows including adults and her family and is left lonely and isolated while being forced to watch the girl who's family now has a pattern of fucking hers over, she's over dramatic and doing too much over a high school break up and should be punished. Meanwhile most likely their favorite characters have either a similar personality to Audrey's or have done actions similar to hers that have gone unpunished (Looking at all the C4)

[walkingstackofbooks]

I'm sure there are plenty of people who might feel differently, especially if they're younger than me (I'm 27), but for me I definitely feel this might be more noticeable a phenomenon in the US than the UK?

Kind of, anyway. The freedom of my teenage years compared to the freedom of those in prior generations seems like it was more limited, and there were definitely opportunities my parents had that would have been unimaginable to me. (Backpacking around Europe without a mobile phone on hand, for instance.) And 100% we're experiencing the erosion of safe, free/cheap public spaces for young people to be, and the rampant capitalism forcing us to prioritise work over actually living life happily 🙃

But on the other side, I've been taking the bus by myself since I was 11 -- some of my friends lived way out of town, so to meet up either they or I would have to do the 1/2 hour bus journey. It wasn't a problem for me to catch a train to London - 40+ miles away - with a group of friends from when I was about 16 or so, and just wander about there for the day. And on a regular weekend, I could walk pretty easily into town from our suburb - about 40 minutes, 50 perhaps to the cinema?

Hell, Duke of Edinburgh expeditions are a common sight each summer - a group of 14+ yos with backpacks practically as big as them wandering around the countryside for 3 days, trying to follow a route on a map, maybe having an adult check in on them 3-5 times in the day but otherwise left to their own devices and to walk miles in the wrong direction if they make a mistake. The shit we got up to in the campsites was real 😂

I feel like a lot of teens get a chance to do do young, dumb stuff in college, too (college in the UK being an optional educational institution for 16-18yos instead of staying on at secondary school.) (That's very simplified but shh.) It would depend where you are in the country I guess but definitely both of my 25yo housemates have some wild stories from college. Plenty of 17/18 yos I know went interrailing for a few weeks in Europe, too (although I know that's more difficult for the current generation with Brexit and price hikes and such).

And then as well if teens do go to uni* they're usually able to drink straight away, being 18 (which is debatable whether or not it's a good thing I guess) but Freshers' Weeks are certainly always wild and pubs and clubs always seem busy in uni towns -- and tbh I have friends who still regularly go clubbing well into their twenties, if it's their thing. And like, whatever you're doing when you're 18, you'll be able to hang out at a pub in the evening, and just have a chill night with your friends - half of us don't even drink alcohol. (I do feel minorly bad for always asking for tap water, but 🤷‍♀️. Sorry local pub for maybe spending only £20 there in the past 10 years 🙈 )

*(which I think is easier here? You only pay one ~$35 fee to apply to ALL your unis, not one-by-one, and our loans are less aggressive here too -- you don't pay them back until you're earning £25k ($30k) and they're written off after 30 years -- so it's more manageable to go? [Though don't get me wrong, it's still a damn sight harder if you're not middle-class+])

Ugh, sorry, this got long -- I don't want to diminish the importance of what you've all said because it's true. And it's been 8 years since I was a teenager, so younger folks might feel their freedom's been diminished since then. But at a time where social media was very much a thing, I had a 3/14/40 mile radius as a teen and it just doesn't ring true that we didn't get the chance to do dumb, stupid shit. 🤷‍♀️

Maybe this is the wrong platform to pose this question given the average tumblr user but

Is it just me or did our generation (those of is who are currently 20-30 ish) just not get the opportunity to be young in the 'standard' sense?

Like, everyone I talk to who's over 40 has all their wild stories about their teens and 20s, being young and dumb, and then I talk to my friends and coworkers and classmates, and we just... dont.

[veeveex3]

Hey! How're you? Could I request Leona, Azul, Floyd, Vil and Lilia reacting to a reader managed to get back to their own world and somehow comes back after a year? It doesn't matter where they meet. Have a nice day!

I'm so sorry that I haven't gone to this sooner. I really do like this idea, it's just that I couldn't find the time and motivation to do so until now. Thank you for your patience though and I hope you like this!

Leona, Azul, Floyd, Vil, and Lilia meeting gn!Reader after a year

tags / cw: hurt / comfort, minor angst, Leona got the tsundere disease, this could be interpreted as romantic or platonic but was mainly intended to be platonic

Leona:

Leona would refuse to admit how much you meant to him. It's not that he was embarrassed to admit that you were someone he thought so fondly of. Well, maybe not entirely. But it was still more of the idea that you wouldn't feel the same way. It wouldn't surprise him, everyone saw him as second-best anyways, right? So even as he saw you out on your way back home, he couldn't find it in him to tell you how much he truly did care about you. Thinking he'd never see you again, he regretted it ever since.

When Crowley brought the old and current dorm leaders together again to announce your potential return after about a year, Leona was conflicted. On one hand, he was happy to see you again, more than he understood. On the other hand, was he really ready to share this side of him with you yet?

"Tch... Welcome back, herbivore. Did you have fun back home? ...That's good. Huh?! Nothing, it's nothing important. Anyways, I got you something. What, you thought I wouldn't get you anything~? Heh, well don't get your hopes up, it's only outta formality, ok?"

Azul:

In all honesty, your mere existence annoyed him at first. How could someone so normal, so unintelligent and disrespectful best him at his own game?! It hurt what little pride he had in him. However, the more he got to know you, the more unwillingly attached he grew to you. Though the two of you got off to a rocky start, more so than the other OB boys you've faced during your time here, there's something about you that made him feel so safe, a feeling he hasn't felt from anyone other than the twins. That's why it hurt him so much to see you go, even if he tried his best not to show it.

He almost let this these emotions slip once Crowley brought up that you might be coming back to their world after being away for a year. He was so surprised and overwhelmed he didn't know what to do once you came back! But he did know he wanted to cherish the moments he has with you again.

"Welcome back, ex-prefect! Did you enjoy your time back home? ...Wonderful! To celebrate your return, I've come up with a special 50% off deal on your next purchase at the Mostro Lounge! ...Huh? 100% off?! Are you mad?! ...Well, since it's you I suppose I could make an exception this once! Don't take my benevolence for granted though!"

Floyd:

From the moment you first came to Twisted Wonderland, your entire existence was so fun and interesting. So naturally, Floyd enjoyed your company and all of the little adventures you had together. And just as naturally, he was bummed to see you go back home. Yeah it seemed like he got over it pretty quickly, going back to his usual unpredictable self, but in actuality, he would think about you ever once in a while and lose all of his energy.

When Floyd first heard from Azul that there would be a possibility of you returning back to their world, he quite literally jumped for joy. Similarly, he jumped right into your arms the moment he saw you, estatic to see his best buddy back!

"Hey, Shrimpy~! How's it been? You had fun back in your world? Didja bring me anything?! ...No? D'aww... Well, then that just means that you have to make it up to me! Ehehe, we're gonna have so much fun playing together again, Shrimpy~!"

Vil:

Vil never tried to hide his feelings for you. He thought that beating around the bush at you how felt for someone was childish and beneath him. However, he could never find the words to convey how he felt for anyone he cared for, let alone you. Though he seemed composed when you left, he was disappointed in himself at how stupid he was not to know how to describe how he felt for you. Ever since you left, he still couldn't find the words that's been stuck in his throat for so long.

That was until Crowley announced that you may be returning back after your year long disappearance from their world. After that, it clicked exactly what he needed to say to you.

"Ah! There you are! Have you been wandering around like this since you came back? I understand, there have been a couple noticable changes worth seeing. But enough of that, I have something to tell you... Welcome back, I missed you. And... I'm really glad you're back in my life. My, are you at a lost for words now~? That's understandable of course, but, that doesn't make my words any less true."

Lilia:

Lilia enjoyed your presence. Though it was a bit hard to tell from his enigmatic personality, he really did like having you around. You were breath of fresh air and a nice contrast from the other people in his life. However, he wasn't really all that sad to know you had to leave. He's seen a lot of people come and go and he knew you would eventually join them one day. So rather than grieving your disappearance from his life, he wanted to see you go with a smile on his face, knowing he had fun in the short time he knew you.

When having a conversation with Malleus, he found out that you were able to come back to their world after only a year of being gone. To the both of them it was a big shock, given how little time has passed for the both of them. Nonetheless, he was still happy to know you weren't gone for good.

"Oh~? Back so soon I see? Well, for me at least. Your time spent back home most likely felt longer for you. Enough speaking of logistics though, how was your time back home? Was it well? ... Terrific! I'll celebrate your return with a homemade cake- No? Aww, what a shame..."

[scented-morker]

Speak now

A beeping sound echoes in the small bakery, the scent of freshly baked cookies enveloping you like a warm hug. A bell over the door jingles as someone enters the shop and you all out a “I’m in the back, I’ll be with you shortly” as you maneuver the hot pan out of the way.

You walk to the front of the store, expecting to see one of the sweet old ladies who frequent your business, and it’s a struggle to hide your surprise when you’re met with the handsome face of a man about your age.

“Uh hello,” a smile situates itself on your face as you approach where the man is standing, admiring the pastries through your display case.

“Hello” he stands up straight, his full height making you crane your neck slightly as he smiles back at you.

“Is there anything I can help you with today?”

He explains that he's getting a party together for the HYBE corporation's end of the quarter celebration, and is looking for a caterer for desserts.

"Oh, yeah absolutely, why don't I set you up with a tasting"

You weren't completely sure what they did in that building, other than that it was fancy and they got paid a lot for it. But an event is an event, and you liked catering events.

"Actually I think I'm good, I already know what I want"

A jolt of surprise runs through your body as he says it, confused on how he could already know. You're very certain he's never been in your business before, as you would definitely remember a face like his.

"Alright then, um how big of a headcount are we looking at"

"About 100 workers and their families, just put me down for," he glances back at the pastry cases to read the tags sitting in front of the baked goods, "75 of those tarts, both in raspberry and mint, 50 of those vanilla twist pastries, and 60 of the chocolate cannoli's"

You furiously scribbled down his order as he spoke, internally freaking out at how much time it would take you to bake everything, eventually looking back up when he stopped talking.

"Okay and that is under what name, and for what date?"

"Lee Heeseung, and next Saturday"

You grimaced at the short notice, thankfully Heeseung didn't notice, writing down the last bit of information on the order slip before shooting him a wide grin.

"Alright I will get that all worked out for you, thank you for the order"

He flashed a beautiful smile and you immediately smiled back, trying your best to ignore the way your stomach did flips at the sight.

"While I'm here, can I also just get whatever that chocolate thing is in the display case"

He said it with a slightly embarrassed chuckle, followed quickly by "just don't tell my boss, he'll probably give my nutritionist a heart attack"

You laughed with him, going to get the pastry he ordered, ringing it up and passing it over the counter, quickly snapping your hands back into yourself at the brush of his fingers.

Heeseung doesn't seem to notice as he takes a seat at one of the tables, continuing small talk with you as you replace items in the display case with fresh ones.

When you finished your task he was still eating and nobody else had come into the store, so you start wiping down the tables around him, accepting his offer when he asks you to sit with him.

"So you own this place?"

"Yep! It was my grandmas before the previous owner took over, and they just happened to be retiring when I graduated so it got passed down to me"

"That's impressive, owning your own business this young"

His eyes shined genuinely when he said it and you could tell that he really was impressed.

"Thank you, I'm very proud of it"

He smiles again and somehow you just know that he's a good person. The way he actually cares about the things you talk about, not just pretending to be interested. You could tell he loved seeing other people happy with the look he gave you when you talked, and maybe it was unreasonable, but right then and there a part of you fell for Lee Heeseung.

"You seem quite impressive yourself, working for a big fancy company like HYBE at your age!" You complimented back.

"Oh it's nothing, just a," he paused for just slightly longer than necessary before saying "an internship."

"That's still so cool! What's it like?"

You propped your chin on your hand as you waited for his response, not noticing the way he stared when you did so.

"Uh it's really not as cool as you think," he brushes off the question, "hey, do you want to go for a walk with me?"

The change of topic caught you slightly off guard, but you recovered quickly, checking the time on the clock and realizing it was time to close.

"Yeah that'd be great, just let me close up"

You go through the routine, counting your cash box and storing away pastries, eventually locking the door behind you as you and Heeseung head out into the evening.

"Where do you want to go?" You ask, since he was the one that suggested a walk, and he smiled back at you as soon as the words left your mouth.

"I thought you'd never ask"

He grabs your hand, excitedly pulling you to follow him as he passed through alleys and patches of trees, before eventually stopping, letting out a "ta-da"

You turn in a slow circle, taking in the view, willow trees hanging down around the bank of a river, small flowers covering the base of the trees.

"Oh my-"

You finally turned back to the man next to you, finding his sparkling eyes already on you.

"This is beautiful Heeseung"

His smile is bright enough to light up the slowly darkening night around you as it graces his face, and he pulls you over to sit down under one of the trees.

"Hey Heeseung, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah sure, anything"

"How'd you already know what you wanted to order? I'm sure I've never seen you in my store before, I would remember you"

"Because I'm just so handsome?" He teases, laughing even harder when you reply "yeah, exactly".

"Well Y/N, can I be honest with you?"

"Yeah, of course"

"I've tasted your food before, even before you owned that place"

Your eyes widened at his confession, head cocking to the side as you tried to think of where he could have had your pastries.

"Were you at an even catered?"

He shakes his head dramatically, mumbling something unintelligible.

"What was that?" You lean closer to try and hear what he says and he looks up then, face mere inches from yours as he repeats himself.

"I said 'you give a girl her first kiss and she doesn't even remember you'"

You let out a small gasp as you realize and your face flares up in embarrassment.

Seventh grade, you had your first kiss with a boy who went to the same music classes as you, and you remember embarrassingly bringing him baked goods every class after that. His name was Heeseung, and now that you think carefully you can see the resemblance to the man sitting in front of you now.

"Oh my gosh that's so embarrassing, how'd you know it was me?"

He decides not to tell you he's remembered you since that little peck in middle school and has been begging his boss to order from your bakery so he would have an excuse to see you again.

"You haven't changed much since seventh grade" was his response instead, and you slapped his arm at the comment.

You two spent the next three hours just talking, catching up on each other's lives and reconnecting after your time away.

Before you knew it the sun had completely set and there were no light posts in the area Heeseung had brought you, you now struggled to see the boys pretty smile only a foot in front of you.

"Its getting late, and you probably have work tomorrow, we should probably start heading back."

He checked his phone at your mention, and you pretended not to notice the giant number of notifications while his eyes widened at the time.

"I didn't even realize it had gotten so late, let me take you back"

You're glad he offered, not sure you would be able to make it back to the cafe without his guidance.

The way back seemed much shorter than when you had been pulled down it earlier that day, and you found yourself disappointed that he didn't grab your hand again.

"Well here we are"

He looked around once you made it back to the familiar building, before turning to you.

"Where's your car?"

"Oh, I live pretty close so I just walk, it's easier than trying to find a parking spot in the city traffic anyway"

He nodded his head along with your statement but then shook his head slightly.

"You can't walk home alone at this time of night"

You felt touched by his concern, but fought him on it anyway.

"It's fine Hee, it's only like four blocks away"

"Nope, no way. That's way too far, come on"

He waved his hand towards you and you looked down at it curiously.

"What?"

"I'm walking you home, now come on"

He grabbed your hand again, both of you smiling at how right it felt.

You reached your house in about five minutes, and you tried to hide your disappointment at the prospect of your fun night coming to an end.

"Do you want to come in"

His eyes lit up at the offer but were quickly turned down to look at his feet.

"I'd love to, but I have work early tomorrow"

"Oh, okay"

It was quiet for a few moments before he made eye contact again, taking a step closer to your body and pulling you in his arms in a friendly hug.

"Thank you"

You hugged him back, wrapping your arms around his torso.

"I should be the one thanking you, that spot was beautiful, and I had a really great time. Thank you for taking me with you"

Little did you know that he wasn't thanking you for the few hours you had spent together. But he said "of course" anyway.

"Well goodnight"

"Goodnight"

You went to go inside, sticking your key in the lock before quickly thinking of something.

"Wait!"

Heeseung looked at you quizzically, waiting for you to say whatever it was you had just thought of.

"I need your number," he raised one eyebrow and you quickly added "so you can text me when you get home safe, I would be an awful friend if I let you get kidnapped after you so graciously walked me home"

He laughed at your reasoning, but handed you his phone anyway as you two quickly added each other's contact.

You took a look at his contact, bursting out in laughter at the sight of it.

"Did you really put your name in as 'Heedungie' with a bunch of hearts?"

He looked proud of himself for making you laugh and he nodded his head.

"Yes, yes I did"

"No fair, give me your phone back I want to give you something embarrassing too"

You didn't think he actually would, but his phone was held out to you and you took it, quickly turning around and taking an exaggeratedly cute selfie to set as the contact picture before putting in a nickname for your name, complete with the same aggressive hearts as his.

"There"

He took the phone back and laughed at the improved contact.

"Perfect"

You shared one last smile before you entered your house, Heeseung leaving your porch after seeing you securely in, making sure he walked a block away before calling his driver so you wouldn't see.

Only once he was safe in the confines of the backseat did he look at the notifications on his phone.

23 missed texts from his father and 7 calls from his mother.

He clicked on the notification, skimming his eyes over the texts, rolling his eyes at their content. He didn't even read all the way through before shutting his phone off, throwing it across the seat for the rest of the ride.

You had just stepped out of the shower when you heard your phone ding, and you paused the music to go check the text.

'Just got home, all in one piece and no kidnapping attempts were made on me'

You laughed at his text, shooting back something along the lines of 'I'm glad to hear that' before heading out of your bathroom to get dressed.

Heeseung texted you a few more times after that, and you found yourself giggling at his messages exactly like seventh grade you did. Eventually you said your good nights, after you had scolded him for staying up when he needed to get up in the morning, and you smiled one last time at the obnoxiously cute contact name before floating off to sleep.

You went to work the next day, and the one after that, and there was no real difference in your life except for the constant texting and the extra bounce in your step. Even your regulars commented on how happy you looked.

Heeseung liked to come to the cafe on his lunch break, and you started making an extra lunch in the morning after the first day when he ordered three pieces of cake as his meal.

It was Thursday, and you were currently trying to find someone to help you bake the giant order for the party.

"Come on please, it's huge, and even one person would be a huge help to me"

"Sorry I can't, I'm babysitting for my neighbors the whole week"

You let out a sigh at yet another no, and put your phone back down on the counter.

You were so absorbed in the call that you hadn't heard Heeseung come in, and you almost screamed when you looked up to see him standing in front of you.

"Woah sorry," he was laughing so he obviously wasn't that sorry, "I didn't want to interrupt your call"

"It's okay"

"What do you need help with?"

It took you a moment to realize he meant the phone call and you let out another sigh at your empty search.

"I'm trying to get someone to help me with the order for the party, it's the biggest order I've gotten and it's just me so I can't make it all in one day by myself"

"Oh," he paused "what are you going to do"

"I don't know" you shrugged, "I'll have to start making things tomorrow, everything that would be able to stay overnight so that I don't have to do it all on Saturday, but even with that I don't know if I'll be able to get everything tomorrow done. Maybe I'll put a hiring sign up and hope someone applies by tomorrow"

He tried to stifle his giggles at how dumb of an idea that would be, but you still noticed.

"Heeeeee," you whined, holding the sound out for longer than needed, "stop laughingggg I know it's dumb. I'm trying to avoid a breakdown okay?"

He finally stopped laughing, and his eyes lit up like he just thought of an amazing idea.

"I can help you!!"

You look at him like he's crazy and he shrugs nonchalantly, "What? It's a good idea."

"No Hee, I would never ask you to do that. Besides it's literally for your order, I'm not making you cook for it, especially not on a work day"

"Nope, it's too late. I've made up my mind. I'm helping you"

"No Heeseung, you're not"

"Yes I am. Okay now I'm gonna run away before you can yell at me more. I'll be here tomorrow at- wait, what time do you even open?"

"Nine AM"

"-Then I will be here at nine AM"

"No Heeseung!"

He takes off running and you try to chase him down, both of your laughter ricocheting off the walls. A few people outside stop and watch as you run like children, most of them smiling at the sight.

"Heeseung"

"Nope, not happening"

He runs around you in a circle, quickly running up to the side of your body giving you a peck on the cheek and then taking off back towards the direction of his work.

"See you at nine AM" is the last thing you hear from him, a quiet message because of how far away he was, even though you know he was shouting when he said it.

You shake your head as you watch him turn the corner, turning around to come face to face with one of your regulars.

"So that's why you've been so happy lately?"

You try to think of something to say, some denial of how smitten you were, but all that came out was a giggle, one that solidified your current appearance of a lovesick school girl. You immediately slapped your hand over your mouth, embarrassed at your reaction, but the woman just laughed before heading into the building, you following shortly after to serve her.

And the next day, right at nine AM, the bell above your door rang, and in came the boy that had been the cause of your racing heart all week.

"Here I am"

"You're the worst"

"You say that, but you're smiling"

"Shut up"

He giggled as he followed you to the back of the building, teasing you more about how you were accepting his help anyway.

"I was hoping you wouldn't show up, but I guess since you're here I might as well get the help"

It wasn't true, you were up all night trying to decipher if he was actually going to show up. You even got out your cute apron and put some extra effort into your appearance this morning.

"I would recommend putting this on"

You toss him an apron to protect his clothes, going behind him and tying a nice little bow. He ignored the way his body tingled where your hands brushed it, and your breath hitched when he turned you around to do the same thing.

"This is my job Hee, I could tie it myself"

"I know," was all he said, letting his hands linger on your waist as he turned you back around to face him.

He tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear, his face a little bit too close to yours.

"Whatcha doing?" Your voice came out as a whisper and the way he smiled made your heart beat even faster then it already was, something you didn't think was possible.

"What do you want me to be doing?"

You gave a small laugh, throwing your arms behind his neck and angling your head up to get closer to the tall man above you.

"Does this answer your question?" You asked, referring to your previous actions.

"I think it's a pretty good indication" he spoke through a smile, leaning down to brush his lips against yours softly.

It was barely a kiss, absolutely no pressure from either end, but the butterflies in your stomach absolutely erupted at the contact, and you couldn't even try for an actual kiss because of the huge smiles on your faces.

"Did you feel it?" He whispered, and even without an explanation you knew what he meant.

A giggle left your lips, "yeah I felt it".

A jingle sounded as someone walked in the store and you pulled away from him to go serve the customer.

He was standing against the counter when you walked in, still just basking in the feeling of what had just happened.

"Alright lover boy, time to get to work"

He smiled at the nickname, coming up to you and spinning you around once, before speaking.

"Yes chef"

You laughed at his antics and gave him directions on how to help you start the tart shell.

By noon you were well ahead of schedule, the playlist you had chosen now blaring as you screamed the lyrics together, flour dusted over your faces as you took a break from kneading the dough for the twists.

"Thank you for this"

"Helping you bake?"

"No, everything else too"

He smiled and pulled you back in, this time for a real kiss.

That night you both went home early so that you could get up early for last minute party prep, after a goodnight kiss (or two, or three, or four...) at the your front door.

"Okay I'll see you tomorrow"

"Can't wait"

He hesitated to pull away from you, not quite wanting to leave, but you pushed him lightly.

"One more?"

He puckered up and you laughed giving him one last kiss before running into your house, hearing his whines through the door.

"Okay baby, I'll see you tomorrow"

You almost screamed when the nickname left his lips and you could hear the laugh he let out when he heard your squeal from the other side of your door.

**

"You can go to the back room, there will be another girl in there and a changing station set up, guests are starting to arrive now"

You listened to the other worker speaking, trying not to show how tired you were after finishing all of the baking that morning.

Following her instructions, you headed to the back room to change out of your sweats and into something more presentable for the party. By the time you had exited the back, you could hear the chatter of people and could tell the party was starting.

They started by giving a small speech about how well they had done that quarter, thanking all of the employees for their work and their families for supporting.

Within 30 minutes you were carrying out trays of your pastries, everyone mostly finished with dinner and some random business video was playing in the front of the room.

You walked out to stand along the wall with the other miscellaneous staff people working the event, and watched as they moved on to giving out awards for things like "best costumer service" and "highest sell rate". The entire time you were looking around for Heeseung, trying to spot him over by some lanky guys who looked like interns, but no luck.

"Alright now that all of the awards have been passed out, an important announcement from CEO Lee"

You looked around trying to spot the man in question, eyes eventually landing on an old man, grey hair and a pinstriped suit, as he used a cane to lift himself out of the chair and up to the stage.

You spotted Heeseung then, sitting at the same table the old man had just left, along with an older looking woman you assumed to be CEO Lee's wife, and another male that looked to be a little older than Heeseung.

You thought about trying to get his attention, but the CEO soon started speaking, and your eyes were pulled away from him.

"As I think we all know, I'm not as young as I was when we started this business," there were a few laughs from around the room, and the man waited for them to be done before moving on. "I don’t want you to worry, I’m perfectly healthy, but I, along with my family, have decided that it would be best for me to step down from the company."

Murmurs erupted throughout the room, and it was enough to tell you that the employees had no prior knowledge of this decision. You look over to Heeseung to gage his reaction, but instead of surprise or confusion, his face is laced with something that looks more like... disappointment? You decide it must be the lighting that's obscuring his actual expression, since that wouldn't make much sense.

"I will be retiring within six months, and my son, I know you've all seen him around the company," the female population seems especially excited about these words, a few turning to make faces at each other, you even hear one say 'hot boss' to her friend.

"Heeseung, please come up here"

You can hardly conceal your shock as you see your Heeseung stand up from his seat and go to the front of the room.

You furrow your eyebrows as he stands next to who you now realize must be his father.

"Heeseung will be taking over the company after my leave"

Your eyebrows shoot up as the words register in your mind.

Heeseung is going to be CEO of this giant company within 6 months.

Maybe you should have been mad that he lied to you, that he hid this part of himself from you. He definitely didn't tell you the position of his father, or the fact that he was going to be coming into said position, but you found yourself realizing that you didn’t really care.

'That's one hell of an internship' was the first thing you thought, and you laughed at yourself for it.

When you zoned back in to what was going on, Heeseung was ending what you figured was a short speech about him taking over, and you clapped along with the rest of the crowd.

His eyes met yours and you swore there was relief on it when he saw you let out a "whoo" along with a few others.

Heeseung steps down from the podium, taking a few hands that were held out to him, giving handshakes and responding to comments from men in high up positions.

You were called to the kitchen to pack up the few pastries that weren't needed, and the loud conversing of voices faded with the closing of the door.

You smiled giddily at yourself while transferring tarts to boxes.

'I can't believe I'm dating the new CEO'

Wait-

We're you dating the new CEO? Technically you'd never gone on a date or at least one that you called a date. And he had never asked you to be his significant other. But you kissed? Multiple times.

"What is going on in that pretty brain of yours?"

You almost dropped the tart in your hand you were so surprised by the voice. A quick look reveals the person that had you so zoned out in the first place.

"You were thinking so hard it looked like smoke was about to come out of your ears"

You can't help but laugh at his words, finally continuing your actions of packing up the food and thinking up a lie.

"Just thinking about how my little intern became CEO in a week," worry crossed his face, but it disappeared immediately when you continued, "you must have been an AMAZING intern"

He laughs and moves next to you to help.

"So I might have lied a little bit"

"A little bit?"

You raise your eyebrows at him and he corrects himself with a laugh.

"Okay it was kinda big, but I just didn't want you to treat me different or anything"

He gives you his big doe eyes as you place the last pastry in the box, sealing it up to be taken to your car.

"Hee, you know I'm not mad right?"

"Really?"

"Yeah"

He smiles, and you realize too late why he's coming closer to you, your feet leaving the floor as he spins you around.

"Hee, Hee, stop" you laugh out, and he finally puts you back on the ground.

"Okay, so you don't hate me"

You cup his face, leaning in until your noses are almost touching.

"Correct, I don't hate you"

"Then in that case," he backs up and you pout at the increased distance.

He takes your hands in his, looking at you in a way that has your knees about ready to collapse.

"Would you want to be, my official official, girlfriend?"

You giggle at how he seemed to have the perfect timing, pulling on his hands to finally plant a soft kiss on his lips.

"I would love to"

Part II

[moconut]

Whatever It Takes: A Degrassi Season 10 Retrospective (I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself, Pt. 1)

It's Degrassi time again, which can be either a good thing or a threat depending on the episode. Which will it be this time? Read on to find out!

Sav has just won tickets to see Dead Hand, a band I'm not sure really exists even after looking it up. The problem? It's on a school night 50 miles away, and his dad says no. My old ass doesn't think dad's being too unreasonable here, but since this is Degrassi parents are always wrong and also lame.

We're introduced to Fiona's new loft, which long-time viewers may recognize as Peter's old place. Mama Coyne is leaving for New York but concerned about leaving Fiona alone; Fiona insists she'll be fine and promises she'll keep up with her therapy appointments. Also, there's a Greek statue for some reason.

Holly J points out Sav's dad's truck, which can only mean something horrible will happen to it (you'll note the same thing happened last episode with Coach Armstrong's car). Sav offers up his tickets as fundraising fodder for student council and Holly J has the brilliant idea of playing "Hands on Her Body" (yes, that's what it's called) with Papa Bhandari's fancy truck. There is no way this could go wrong.

Fiona has planned a 100% platonic sleepover weekend of at-home spa treatments and dessert tastings for Holly J, who is too busy to attend. Fiona feels betrayed and sullenly turns down Holly J's attempts to reschedule, apparently having forgotten that people generally need more advanced notice before having their entire weekend booked out for them.

Jenna has her first major plot, and it's a very realistic one: she thinks she's fat. She worries she won't fit into her cheerleading uniform and twists all of KC's attempts at compliments into jabs at her weight, much to his bewilderment. He says she's not a "Skeletor girl," which she reasonably takes as him calling her obese. KC has yet to learn that the only acceptable way to reference a girlfriend's weight is to never do it at all.

Sav has prepared a slideshow to convince his dad that he's an adult and should be allowed to borrow his fancy truck for the fundraiser. This actually works, and even allows us our first glimpse of Adam (who will become very important later). Adam and Eli, also a Dead Hand fan, end up splitting the four tickets between them after Eli makes Wesley have to pee. But when trying to load an amp into the truck, the unthinkable happens: it falls and smashes a taillight.

Sav heads to The Dot to consult irrelevant legacy character Peter, who pushes Sav to mentor Eli. This is the same thing he said about Drew, because he's really into shipping Sav with random dudes for some reason. Eli gives Sav the remaining two tickets, suggesting he sell them off to repair the truck.

Fiona's at-home therapist suggests Fiona may be trying to buy Holly J's companionship, but Fiona says she doesn't need to buy Holly J (yes, she phrases it this way) since Holly J "owes" her anyway. Yeah, remember that time Holly J stole 2k from her?

Jenna is appalled that she only burned 120 calories in 15 minutes of leisurely stepping on some random exercise machine. KC comforts her by suggesting she be Ms. December for the cheer team calendar, which she interprets as him thinking she should be Santa. As in fat, because Santa is fat. "I just really like Christmas!" pleads KC as she stomps out of the gym.

Sav and Eli are disgusted by Adam's genuinely funny "that's what she said" joke, which is the most unrealistic interaction amongst teenage boys that I've ever seen. The good news is that Eli fixed the taillight and the worse news is that Eli and Adam convince Sav to use his dad's truck to attend the concert in secret.

Jenna is watching her own music video in the Media Immersion classroom, where hot young teacher Ms. Oh tries and fails to connect with her. She leaves Jenna alone to forlornly recite an "I'm fat" version of her song that sounds like something I would sing to my chunky cat.

Sav makes the moral but stupid decision to tell his dad what happened with the truck, right when his dad was about to allow him to go to the concert. Now he's banned from going again, putting us in the same situation the plot started in.

An NPC fails to sell Bianca oregano and Jenna approaches her with another offer: money for diet pills. Bianca warns that the pills are only for obese people, but Jenna is desperate and undeterred.

Eli and Adam are having the classic teen boy meal of salads and sparkling water when Sav walks in to tell them his flawless plan: steal his dad's truck to attend the concert. This was actually the same plan they had earlier in the episode, but I guess it's happening for real this time.

What’ll happen next? Nothing good, but that’s why you watch Degrassi. See you next time!

[becca-e-barnes]

The "minors DNI" posts that I've been seeing crop up everywhere by fic writers are always so interesting to me.

First and foremost, I 100% support your decision to post a "minors DNI" for your safety and their safety. You're being responsible, doing your due diligence as a responsible adult, and trying to ensure that everyone enjoys what you put out there in a safe way.

And I know you specifically have not said this so this is not a slight on you by any means, but I think you'd be more open to the discourse of such an interesting topic like this—the problem I have with some fic writers is that is them saying they will block anyone who does not have their age posted in their blog.

This, I believe, is an incredibly dangerous precedent to set. On the one hand displaying your age if you are over 18 seems like a non-issue, right? Sure. But setting the precedent that people should display their age in their blog encourages minors to share their age on the internet which in turn can make them an easier target.

Personal preference for me—I'm a thirty-two year old lady (plz sing this appropriately) and do not share my age in my tumblr because, well I don't want to.

We're all technically violating TOS anyway, so it doesn't really matter if a minor interacts with your fic or not at this point—by interact I mean like/reblog/comment, not DMing you to talk about sexual stuff. That stuff you should absolutely block/delete for obvious legal and safety reasons.

And while I understand the legality thing, if you are not explicitly engaging with said minor, there's not a whole bunch that could hold up in court. How many lawsuits do you think E.L. James gets for 13 year olds waltzing into a bookstore or buying 50 shades of grey off amazon and reading it? There was actually an interesting article written about the "common sense" engagement with this book back in 2012.

Anywho, you are right to ask and set a boundary, and do what you feel is right to protect yourself and using the DNI minor blanket statement is ultimately a good thing, especially if it's a personal uncomfortableness with minors reading your work. However, even if a minor just decided to lie and say they were 21 and read your stuff anyway, unknowingly interacting with a minor is just as bad legally as knowingly doing so so at the end of the day, we're still just taking risks. The safest thing for all of us would probably be to not interact with anyone or ask everyone to use anon, but there's not fun or friendship in that. Your mutual who has stated they're 25 could still be 16 and you wouldn't know it.

My perspective may also just be entirely outdated as well because I grew up in the internet age of it being a lawless wasteland and everyone lied about everything, so I don't see the value in trying to police my work when people will just read it anyway and I don't have any control over that at the end of the day other than to tag appropriately and/or not post anything at all ever.

This was long and not necessary to answer, I'm just always fascinated by the rigor at which fanfic writers are so quick to banish people for not putting their age in their bios when I think it is inherently more dangerous for minors to do so because it puts a target on their back.

Before I start, I recognise that we’re of the same line of thought! I saw this long message and panicked thinking that someone had taken an issue with my stance on it and I’m glad that’s not the case 🙈 Anything I raise here is in the interest of discussion and I completely respect your point of view. 💗

This is really interesting actually and truth be told, I’ve avoided any discussion on this topic for a very long time for fear that I won’t adequately explain my stance on it. I feel like I’ve had a chance to do that and I hope it’s been taken up by everyone as I intended.

I will admit; as a minor, I read smut. Without going into detail, it entirely warped my perspective on how relationships should look. To provide a little context on my stance, at 14/15 (and younger), I had no business reading the things I was reading. Unfortunately, I was in a ���relationship” at the time and I fully believed that I had to engage with my boyfriend in ways that mirrored what I was reading. I ended up in situations I didn’t want to be in. To me, it’s my responsibility as a writer and as someone who learned the hard way, to ensure that younger people don’t make the same mistakes I did.

I do fully agree, minors stating their real age on their blog raises all sorts of different issues, as you rightly said. You’re absolutely right, to a minor there are no advantages to displaying your real age on here. Fic writers will block you, creeps will be more likely to engage with you. So I fully understand that this might seem like a reason to lie or provide no age at all.

Leading on from that though, if a minor lies on their profile and claims to be over 18 and they interact with my smut, from a legal perspective, that is not going to have any repercussion on me. I have put my disclaimers up, I vet as many profiles as I can and I do everything I would be reasonably expected to do in the eyes of the law. (This isn’t an area of law I studied in significant depth but that standard of reasonable expectation would still apply). I do as much as I can to protect myself and them.

You brought up 50 Shades and I understand your point but the issue here is not just the fic itself. If anyone comments/ reblogs my fic, I like to send a little reply back! I love when people take the time to give me feedback and I want to thank them for it, as a lot of other writers do! The issue here being that if the blog commenting is a minor, the writer would be engaging in a conversation about sexual material with a minor. And that’s fucking messy. This is mainly where fics differ from a teenager buying a copy of 50 shades. In that situation, there’s no interaction there between the author and the underage fan so it loses that personal element.

On the issue of blogs with no age, I see where you’re coming from and I see that you both read and write fanfiction. But I also see it from the other perspective given that a lot of writers like to do as much as possible to protect themselves and potential minors.

I totally support that’s a boundary that you set and it’s your choice. In the same sense that it’s a fic writer’s choice to protect themselves by blocking you. It’s a matter of boundaries clashing at the end of the day. I really do see both sides here. I’m a really organised person so honestly, if anyone wanted to send me a private message just confirming they’re over 18, I’d put them all into a list to make sure I don’t accidentally block them for interacting. But of course, not every writer would be able to do that and I’m sure many readers would want to do that either! I just see it as the only way to compromise on that issue and keep everyone happy.

Thank you for sending me this! I hope I covered everything and if I haven’t been clear enough in some areas, feel free to come back to me! 🙈 And I really appreciate actually having a discussion on here! It’s so great to hear others’ points of view in a nice, respectful way. Tumblr loses that sometimes! Have a lovely evening 💗

[siimjaeyun]

Chapter 2: Caution, Gators can eat humans. 

Synopsis: The wishes for a new mystery after the sudden decrease in Seoul sends the teen mystery group to a town nearby. It’s own name justifies itself, and let’s just say: things don’t get pretty when JK (the anonymous caller) sends them on a chase. 

Series Masterlist

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Absent-mindedly, the man continued to drive his SUV  through the bumpy roads of Gatorsville, a small town just miles away from Seoul. 

"We need to pull up for gas." The father made his way to the abandoned gas station, allowing his daughter to walk for a bit with the puppy. 

The small puppy ran off into the bushes; the girl followed suit and called its name.

When she managed to reach her hand in, it met a pair of red fiery eyes back at her. Shocked, she jumped backwards and cried for help. 

"Dad! It's a monster!" In disbelief, the man refused to believe her, but met the same sketched black-green lizard pattern with glowing eyes. 

He didn't manage to say much, but got himself into the car and drove off in a hurry leaving whatever the creature was back in the dark. 

------ 

"I'm bored.." Sunoo plopped backwards and landed on top of poor Sunghoon who was resting comfortably on the floor. 

"What's up with Seoul, there hasn't been a mystery!" Jungwon soon joined Sunoo, crushing Sunghoon as well, making him cry out. 

"Yo Jake, help me!" Jake helped the boy, picking him up and throwing him on the couch with you. 

"Heeseung what's this?" You picked the magazine that was crumpled between the two couch cushions; part of you wished you had left it once seeing the front cover.

"It's a trap illustrated! Where do you think I got the inspo for this beauty." He flaunted the cords hung onto the metal crates.

"And who exactly do you expect to catch?" 

Right on time, the delivery man got himself hung onto the trap set on the front, simply handing him the package once Heeseung managed to open the door and let him free. 

"It's a package." 

A loud thunder banged against the windows, letting the rain and its friends make itself present in the home. With caution, he opened it revealing an object covered by tissue and an envelope stamped in red with [JK] 

"I swear JK gives me the creeps." The group opened the rest of its contents and found a gator skinned bag in the box. 

"Maybe a trip to Gatorsville wouldn't hurt. Safe travels." 

"This doesn't make sense. I thought Gatorsville didn't make skin products anymore." Jake observed the purse, handling each nook and cranny with care. 

"Gatorsville? Like as in actual Gators?" Sunoo tried setting himself apart, clearly intimidated by the idea of gators. 

"150 years ago, miners had moved to Gatorsville in search of oil and gold. Instead, they found the abundance of gators in the area, and mounted businesses on the farms which made them rich. They sold products everywhere, but when there were no more gators, everyone moved out. It's practically a ghost town." 

"Then I'm assuming we have a new mystery?" Heeseung smiled and led the way out the door, at least before all six of you found yourselves captured in the same trap as the delivery man. 

------ 

"Let's look around." They split into their usual teams, and trailed off. 

"So, Jake, how do you like it so far?" You realized you hadn't learned much about the boy besides his past in Australia and his cute dog that visited occasionally. 

"To be honest, it was really boring before Sunghoon invited me to come along. I'm glad I've got people who make life interesting." His small eye smile reassured you and you kept exploring the area. 

From afar, Jungwon, Heeseung, and Sunoo found no hope of a mystery and made their way back to the remaining three of you. 

"I guess JK sent us on a wild goose chase. Let's head back before it's too late." You gladly hopped back into the van and when Heeseung turned his key, the car wouldn't start. He trudged back and opened the car to see his engine had gone missing. 

"Uhh...guys!" Sunghoon walked out, first witnessing the same event. 

"H-how is it possible?" The six teens huddled around the missing spot, and turned around with a blinding light flashed forward. 

"What do you exactly think you're doing!?" A man in his late 50's stepped out of the tow truck, and his eyebags and cuts on his upper eyebrow clearly signaled he wasn't here to talk much. 

"Our engine is missing, think you can help?" 

"And why should I?" He punched his knuckles and caused Jungwon to step backwards with Sunoo. 

"Cause you're a mechanic?" 

"Right. Well you're going to have to wait until tomorrow morning anyway-I have to wait for Seoul to come deliver a new one." 

As the teens tried to call their parents, they received no response. They were either busy or didn’t care, clearly comforting the goofy timeline of teen chaos and drama. 

"Just call Jay, maybe he can come." Hesitant, you dialed his number and received no response. 

"He probably fell asleep. We're gonna have to stay the night." A neon sign was perfectly hung on the side of a building. 

[GATOR INN] 

"Hello, anyone there?" You clung onto Jake who just like you, preferred to lurk in the background while Heeseung and Jungwon took the lead. 

"What do you want!?" A woman appeared from the dark shadows of the motel stairs, letting her fingers trail against the handrail. 

“A room?” 

“We’re all booked.” The woman sat on the closest tool: filing her nails without bothering to look at the teens in their eyes. 

“But your sign says vacancy.” Sunghoon pointed to the sign from before, the clear letters stating VACANCY. 

“Alright, follow me. I have a few rules, the girly over there gets her own room. The five of you that remain can split into two rooms.” 

“Wait, no. Jungwon-he’s my brother; we can share a room.” You gave a slight signal to Jungwon to play along with the game, and the woman simply handed you the keys and walked back. 

Her bright red hair decorated in pink bows peaked from behind her, but disappeared almost immediately once she turned her head forwards to face you. 

“One more thing, if you hear biting, screams, loud shrieks: ignore and enjoy your day.” Her loud hairstyle finally left the hall, and you entered the old furnished room with Jungwon. 

“It’s clear this hasn’t been cleaned in months.” You dropped your bag on the bed, and accompanied the bag to find a comfortable spot to rest. 

------ 

“I wonder why y/n would lie to the woman about Jungwon being her brother.” Jake sat on the nearby chair, pushing the cushion downward. 

“He’s scared to sleep alone; and he’s basically her child.” 

“I’m not sleepy.” 

“Neither am I. Why don’t we head out and explore if there’s anything worthwhile in the Motel.” They grabbed their jackets and exited the room, finding Jungwon and y/n heading out as well. 

The four bodies met at the center of the hall, confused, but not surprised by their need to exit the walls of the motel guest room. 

“Clearly, smart minds think alike.” You scoffed at his statement and led the way out the lobby. There wasn’t much to see clearly. The van was parked on the curb, the sky was dark and covered in a blanket of fog; everything appeared in order. 

The comfortable silence was quickly disturbed by subtle movements in the bushes. 

“I-i think something is there.” Jake reached out to move the branches and get a clear image, but a creature jumped out causing them to fall on their backs. 

“G-gator people!” Sunghoon picked up Jungwon, while Jake helped you up and led you away from the monster that was currently chasing you. You quickly made your way up the flights of stairs: pushing through the other flights that followed to your bedrooms. 

The creature continued; its sharp claws gauging at the walls and leaving a claw nail stuck in the paintings that were nicely hung. Without hesitation, the four of you barged into Heeseung and Sunoo’s room. 

“What are you guys doing here?” Sunoo barely bothered to look up from his screen when he witnessed the same creature enter the room, crushing the door that was once attached. 

“Gator people?” In fear, all of you clung onto the windows from the edge. Your foots collected on top of a single mattress, throwing the closest objects towards the creature.

The room quickly went black. A red glow emerged from the corners from the room allowing the two gators to creep under the floorboards and take a hold of your right leg pulling it downward. 

Your body slipped from the thin lifting of the window balcony, and soon enough it was being dragged from under the five boys,  leaving you to scream. 

Jake and Heeseung plunged forwards, each taking a hold of one of your arms to prevent the gators from dragging your body any further. Sunghoon took the liberty of stomping on the arms of the gators, making them retreat backwards. They slipped on their own tails and fell downward through the same hole they had crept through. You made your way up and looked at the gator skin dangling from your ankle. A white stuffing peeked through the thin fabric; the monster clearly wasn’t real. 

“It isn’t real?” Before Sunoo could continue with his pondering thoughts, the two gators once more crawled from below and sank their claws into the boards. The six teens ran out the door and out of the motel. 

‘COME BACK TO VISIT’ The tacky green sign hung on the side, and was the last part of their vision before securely making their way out of the Gatorsville. They turned their heads back to the issue, and saw as the gators came to an abrupt stop once they had exited the town. Slippery, and cautious, the duo hid once more and retreated back. 

“That was close.” 

“We have to go back, come on!” Jungwon, almost-excited like, pushed his older companions to the inners of town once more. They slyly hid in the trees until they found the two gators pushing large crates into a ship; one crate after another went inside. 

“Here.” Heeseung managed to bust the crate open, revealing packs of gator skinned products. Each marked with the same tag from earlier, ‘100% gator.’ 

Sunoo rolled up one of his sleeves and picked a belt from within the crate, and without thought, he wrapped the skin around his own. After some moments, he released the belt from his grasp and let it fall to the ground with a small clank following afterward. 

“It’s fake, just look at my skin!” Sunghoon and Jungwon inspected him and found a pink rashing forming on his pale flesh. Sunoo was known for his skin sensitivity, and everyone knew that any fake animal product would send the boy into itches and scratches. 

“The only thing we have here folks is a bunch of con-artists.” Heeseung sighs and makes his way to set up another one of his elaborate traps. 

------ 

“Jake, now!” Jake quickly shot the arrow to the target, and it lunged to release the two boxes hanging by cords on the top side of the building. 

The gators made their efforts to leave, but quickly were captured by the teen’s proud ploy. 

“Got them!” Jake once more looked at the boxes with curiorsity, helping Sunghoon push it back towards the Motel entrance. 

“Chief Kim.” The police man trudged through Gator Inn and found the huddled teens around two gator people caught in ropes. 

“What is the meaning of this?” 

“This Chief Kim is…” Heeseung pulled back the mask which revealed the owner of the motel inn and the scornful mechanic. 

“What!?” 

“That’s right. This is our home and when everyone left, we couldn’t just go. This is our home. So we started making cheap products to earn some money. We used the costumes to scare off yee visitors and get them away from our business. And we would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for you meddling tourists!” 

Chief Kim quickly gave a nod which sent the gators to get sent to the back of his police car. They didn’t bother asking more questions and were about to drive off when Sunghoon rushed behind them. 

“Wait! We need a ride!” 

Almost on cue, the engine of their van made a growl, and the front lights illuminated their bodies. “Is it haunted?” Jungwon approached it carefully, and lifted the hood of the car; the engine was back in its place and now accompanied with a note hanging from the top. 

“I hope you enjoyed your visit, but remember there is more to come. This is only the beginning of the puzzle. JK”  The signature red stamp with bold letters JK glistened under the moonlight. 

“More? I swear, this just keeps getting more creepy.” The six were left with nothing but to make their way back home, and who knows what they would expect next. 

------

Note: Jay and Niki will be progressively included in the story line. I’m sorry for the long wait :( 

[jadelotusflower]

June 2021 Roundup

It's been a month of highs and lows. Every year my city holds a cabaret festival, and I've seen some truly amazing acts over the years - including Lea Salonga, Kristin Chenoweth, and Indina Menzel. This year's Artistic Director was the great Alan Cumming, and although due to covid he didn't quite get to curate the program he wanted to, the opening night Gala was still a highlight, as was Alan's DJ set at the pop-up Club Cumming afterwards, where there was much singing at the top of my lungs and dancing to pop anthems and theatre tunes. At one point Alan, dressed in a onesie and perched on the shoulders of a man wearing only sparkly short shorts, was carried around the dance floor while Circle of Life blared. Reader, I was delighted.

I was also able to see his solo show Alan Cumming Is Not Acting His Age, which was hilarious and damn, he can sing!

As for the low, I was meant to fly to Sydney for the weekend to see Hamilton, a trip I have been looking forward to for almost a year, but had to be cancelled because of a covid outbreak and border closures. The tickets have been rescheduled, but I'm still kind of bummed about it (while completely appreciating the need for covid safety, especially when our vaccine rollout has been completely botched by our incompetent, corrupt federal government)

Anyway.

Reading

The Hundred and One Dalmations (Dodie Smith) - With all the bewilderment over Disney's Cruella, I decided to revisit the original novel which I first read as a kid. It's funny, I had very vivid memories of this book, or rather thought I did, particularly the scene where Roger and Anita have dinner at Cruella's house that fixed in my young mind as utterly disturbing with all this devil imagery and the implication Cruella was literally some kind of demon, which must have been either a) my overactive imagination or b) an illustration, because it's not as clear as I thought it was. The strangeness is there (food with too much pepper, Cruella's inability to keep warm, the walls painted blood red) but not the explicit demon imagery I had remembered. There is a part later in the book recounting the history of Hell Hall and the rumors of Cruella's ancestor streaking out of the place conjuring blue lightening, but clearly child me was reading far more into the book than was on the page.

But I still wish they'd gone with this version of Cruella's backstory, because to me an aristocratic, ink-drinking, heat-obsessed, possibly-demon spawn, high camp villain is more interesting and rings far more true than plucky punk against the establishment.

Smith clearly had Facts About Dalmations to share, and she does really craft a wonderful animal-based story that the Disney animated film is largely faithful to. Key differences include: Roger's occupation (he doesn't have to pay tax because he wiped out government debt somehow?!?), Pongo's mate and the puppy's mother is called Missis, Perdita is another dalmation who acts as a kind of doggie wet nurse, Roger and Anita both have Nannies who come to live with them (Nanny Butler and Nanny Cook), Cruella is married to a furrier (who changed his last name to de Vil). Also odd, on her first description Cruella is described as having "dark skin" but later in the novel her "white face" is mentioned, so I'm chalking it up to 50's descriptors not having the same meanings they do today.

The Duke and I (Julia Quinn) - After being just whelmed by the tv series, I wasn't really planning on reading the books, but I saw this on the top picks shelf at the library and damn, the top picks shelf is irresistible. This is very much Daphne's book (and I had known each in the series dealt with the different sibling) so many of the characters and much of the plot of the show is absent, as are some of the more baffling elements of the show like the Diamond of the First Water nonsense, which I always thought was a strange character choice in that it stacks the deck for Daphne when her character arc is better served as somewhat of an underdog (in her third season, the kind of girl who is liked but not adored), and the Prince subplot which was always far too OTT even for soapy regency romance.

It's a breezy, fun read (that scene excepted), even if the misunderstandings are contrived and I'm never going to take "I'll never have kids because I hate my dad" as a credible romantic obstacle deserving of so much angst.

Faeries (Brian Froud and Alan Lee) - A lovingly detailed and illustrated compendium of Faerie and its inhabitants, drawing from a range of European (but primarily Celtic) folklore and mythology. Froud was a conceptual designer on The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, and the link is clear in the art as well as the focus on faeries as mysterious but oftimes sinister beings, where human encounters with them rarely end well. Lee has illustrated several publications of Tolkien's novels, and was a lead concept artists for Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies, and there is a touch of Middle Earth here as well, or rather the common inspiration of the old world. A useful resource for my novel!

Watching

The Handmaid's Tale (season 4, episodes 4-8) SPOILERS - So when I last wrote about this show in the Roundup, I was complaining it wasn't going anywhere. Well, I'm happy to be wrong because they finally changed things up with June finally escaping to Canada. That part of the plot following the survivors and their trauma has always been far more compelling than Gilead, and so it was a welcome development even if I side-eye some of the choices (none of these characters is seeing an actual licensed therapist why?).

This show has always been difficult to watch given the subject matter, and that has not changed after the shift in power dynamics. I will give the show credit for showing a broad range of trauma responses, from Moira wanting to move on and not let it consume her, to June, a ball of rage and revenge on a downward spiral, to Emily, trying to follow Moira's path but being drawn to June's, to Luke, trying his best but utterly unequipped to deal with what is happening.

But it is very hard to watch June go down this path - raping her husband (I concede the show perhaps didn't intend for it to be rape, but that's what is on screen and framing it as just "taking away Luke's agency" doesn't change that), wishing death on Serena's unborn child, and orchestrating Fred's brutal murder by particulation, then holding her own daughter still covered in his blood and it getting smeared on Nicole's face (an unsubtle metaphor in a series full of unsubtle metaphors).

There are interesting questions being asked of the viewer, and the show (perhaps rightly) not giving any answers. I can certainly appreciate the catharsis of Fred getting what he deserves even if I personally find the manner of it horrifying, but where is the line between justice and revenge, is revenge the only option when justice is denied, when does a trauma release become cyclical violence/abuse - the show is, for now, letting the viewer decide.

Soul (dir. Pete Docter and Kemp Powers) - In a world full of remakes/reboots/sequels, Pixar is perhaps the lone segment under the Disney umbrella committed to original content. However, there does seem to be a Pixar formula at work directed to precision tugging the heart strings, and some of the film feels like well-trod ground. On the other hand, it's hard to criticise the risk of centering a kids film around the existential crisis of a middle aged man, even with the requisite cutesy elements (and of course, the uncomfortable pattern of yet another film where the black lead character spends a great deal of the runtime in non-human form - herein, an amorphous blob or a cat). But the animation is stunning, it successfully did tug my heart strings, and the design of the Great Before and the Jerrys is original and fun.

RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under - Drag Race is somewhat of a guilty pleasure for me, since I generally don't watch reality shows, and this is something I really enjoy even if I'm not invested in the fandom (which like many fandoms can be very yikes). This year it was time for the Australian/New Zealand (Aotearoa) queens to show their stuff, although it's been met with mixed reactions. Covid restrictions didn't allow for guest judges, relegating them to mere cameos via video calls, and its clear that Ru and Michelle really don't quite get all the cultural nuances - Aussie judge Rhys Nicholson was however always delightful. But it wouldn't be Australia without a racism scandal, with the great disappointment of the two queens of colour eliminated first, and one queen having done blackface in the recent past yet making it all the way to the top four.

In the end, the only viable and deserving winner was last Kiwi standing Kita Mean, and it was pure joy to see her get crowned. I do hope they fix the bugs and indeed do another season to better showcase AU/NZ talent.

Writing

A far more productive month - to try and get out of my writing funk I had a goal to try and write every day, even if it was only 100 words. While I didn't quite achieve a consecutive month, I did get a pretty good average, at least got something posted and two others nearly there.

The Lady of the Lake - 2441 words, Chapter 4 posted.

Against the Dying of the Light - 2745 words

Turn Your Face to the Sun - 1752 words.

Here I Go Again - 1144 words

Total words this month: 8082

Total words this year: 35,551

[polyamquackity]

Hey there, AG! :D

Given that my wisdom teeth have been "stolen", I've barely had any spoons lately. But!!! I'm determined to use the ones I have right now to write another self-care-check-in for you! Because you're my friend and I love you!! So here you go! 💜🖤

And remember: these are suggestions. I'm not doing this because I'm trying to pressure you. I'm doing this because I care you a whole lot and because this is a way for me to put that caring into action.

If you don't have the energy to do any this or maybe just don't feel like it, that doesn't mean you're somehow "guilty".

Anyway, check-in time! 🖤💜

• Make sure you're staying hydrated! Some ways to check if you are: When was the last time you drank something? Have you had water today? Are you thirsty? If you are, please go get something to drink if you can! 💙

• Nutrition check: When was the last time you ate something - was it today? Are you hungry? If so, would you prefer having a snack now or wait until the next full meal? Remember to provide your body with the nutrients it needs to function. You are worthy of food and deserve to eat no matter what. ❤

• On the topic of taking care of your needs: have you taken your meds today? 🧡

• Time to let go of some tension! Check-ins for that: are you currently tensing your muscles? Clenching your jaw? Have you been sitting for a while? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, it might be good to get up and walk around a little. Maybe stretch, if you have the energy for it? 💛

• Take a moment to step away from what you're doing right now, even if what you're doing might just be "sitting on a chair".

You don't even necessarily have to stand up if you don't feel up to it, just taking a couple of deep breaths and releasing the tension can often be a huge improvement by itself. 💜

• And while you're at it, maybe take a bathroom break if you need to? 💙

• Getting fresh air by taking a walk, as good as it can be for you, takes a lot of energy - but there are other, less energy-consuming ways to get fresh air!

So maybe, if it's not too hot, open a window for a moment and just breathe for a while? 💚

• Do you have the energy to do things right now? If you don't, remember that that's valid and okay. The things you accomplish never determine your worth. You're amazing, you're doing your best and I'm so proud of you. 💛

In case you do have some energy: here's a small reminder to check in with your to-do's.

Is there anything you've been meaning to do for a while that you keep putting of? Or maybe something you want to do but keep forgetting?

If so, do you feel up to doing any of those things right now?

If you you want to do them and have energy for it - here's a small reminder to go for it. You've got this, Misha. I'm so proud of you! 💛

• Remeber that - especially when it comes to self-care - if you can't bring yourself to do something 100%, doing it 50%, or maybe less than that, is better than not doing it at all. 💙

With that in mind, here are some Hygiene check-ins. Again, these are not obligations, there is no pressure here:

> Flossing, if you can, can also be good for your teeth, but it also takes time and energy. So for now: have you brushed your teeth today? Try to make sure to do that. 💙

> Showering takes up a lot of energy, but maybe you can wash your face, if you haven't today? 💙

> If you've been wearing pyjamas for a while but don't want to change into "day"-clothes because want to stay comfortable, maybe change into a different set of pyjamas, if you can? 💙

> Generally, putting clothes you've been wearing for a while in the washer and putting on clean ones is a good idea. 💙

> Cleaning can take up a lot of energy, but small things can make a difference. If you have the energy for it, putting away empty or half-empty bottles and picking up clothes that might be lying around can improve things a lot. 💙

• You have reached a social needs check-point! Have you been meaning to check in with friends for a while but keep putting it off or forgetting to actually do it?

Do you have the energy for reaching out to your friends? If so, here's a small reminder to go for it! 💚

• More social needs: Have you recently been told you today that you're amazing and loved? As in: has anyone told you that today?

If not, I'm about to change that! If you have been told that today - neat! As it should be! I'm about to tell you that again regardless! 🖤💜

Ash Gordon, you are an amazing, gorgeous and absolutely wonderful person. 💜🖤

You are loved, appreciated and deserving of happiness and compassion. 🖤💜

There are many people who value you and are proud of you. I am one of these people! I love you!! 💜🖤

Your art is amazing!! I hope you're proud of it, or if you currently aren't, that you will be some day. Creating art, no matter how frequently you do it or how "good" you consider your art to be, is amazing and always worthy of appreciation. 🖤💜

Having your posts on my dash, specifically the posts about the things you're passionate about, makes me so happy! It's so great to see you get excited about things!! 💜🖤

Remember, Ash: You deserve kindness both from others and from yourself. You can't really control how others treat you, but you can choose to treat yourself with kindness and understanding. 🖤💜

If you have the opportunity to be kind to yourself today - maybe to so something good for yourself simply because you want to - please do it. 💜🖤

AG, there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, my friend. You have every right to do what is best for you and to do what makes you happy. 🖤💜

I hope that your day will be as lovely as you are, and that your week is much better than you expect it to be! 💜🖤

I'm so lucky to know you, so grateful to have you in my life, and so incredibly happy to your friend! I love you! 🖤💜

I am now metaphorically handing you a pretty flower, a cool rock, and an orange slice. 💜🖤

AHHHHHDJSJH!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

I NEVER KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO THESE AD, THEY'RE JUST SO SWEET 💜🖤

I'M TAKING MY MEDS AND HEADING TO SLEEP SOON, MAKE SURE YOU'RE TAKING CARE TOO! ILY!! 💜🖤

[bobasheebaby]

100 Roseanne Prompts

I usually try to stick to quotes that can work for everyone but some of these were too good to skip. Break at 15 like always. Request a show

1 “Hey, all our lives suck.” — Roseanne

2 “Here's why you can't trust your kids 'cause they're stupid. That's why we don't give 'em cars or booze.” — Roseanne

3 “Etsy is like a yard sale except online because nobody can afford a yard anymore.” — Darlene

4 “All of your relatives died from alcoholism. The ones that didn't drink were killed by the ones who did.” — Roseanne

5 “Did all of your children's deliveries go according to your birth plan?” “Um, they found their way out, if that's what you mean.” — Andrea & Roseanne

6 “You gotta pick your fights in life.” — Roseanne

7 “Okay, he doesn't have to wear pants, but he's gotta wear underwear.” — Dan

8 “It is not my fault that I just happen to be a charismatic person who's always right about everything.” — Roseanne

9 “Why are you picking on me? What, did I take the last doughnut, or something?” — Darlene

10 [Person B is embarrassed after walking in on Person C nursing her baby] “Oh, now, NAME. It's not like you've never seen breasts before.” “NAME’s my friend. As far as I'm concerned, she has no breasts... It works for me, okay?” — Roseanne & Dan

11 “The car has heated seats? Thank God, I thought I was going through the change.” — Roseanne

12 [stoned and laying the bathtub] “Is this the sink? Am I shrinking?” — Jackie

13 “In this house, I'm in charge and father knows squat.” — Roseanne

14 “What's up? I smell fear. I love that smell! But what's up?” — Roseanne

15 “Do you have anything sharp I can stick in my eye?” — Dan

16 “You are really, really gettin' on my nerves today, man! I mean more than usual!” — Dan

17 “Well, you think you can stop me from seeing NAME, huh?” “I think I can stop you from seeing tomorrow.” — Mark & Dan

18 “You were always trying to push us apart. You were always putting me down!” — Mark Healey

19 “My marriage is not based on me listening!” — Roseanne

20 “Why don't you just kiss my butt?” “Well, haul it on over here, Jumbo!” — Becky & Darlene

21 “You are just evil!” — Jackie

22 “Oh good, go for the guilt. You better take a looong, hard look at yourself, NAME, 'cause if you are this obsessed with my life, there is obviously something missing from yours.” “Just figure that out?” — Jackie & Roseanne

23 “I thought you were just gonna go over there and scare him/her?” “Well, it started out that way.” — Roseanne & Dan

24 “Being your own boss isn't that great of a deal. Last week I sexually harassed myself.” — Dan

25 “Hell, even I don't hate her that much.” — Dan

26 “Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous.” “Just don't shoot any milk out of you nose, and you'll be fine.” — Becky & Roseanne

27 “Please, NAME, I don't want you to help me, I just want you to leave me alone ... Please.” — Darlene

28 “Don’t toy with me, NAME.” — Roseanne

29 “We, have had a fight, and we're not speaking to each other.” “Oh, well, what was the fight about? Maybe I can take a side.” — Roseanne & Jackie

30 “He/She wanted to do something; I didn't feel like it.” “Yeah, well, so what are you going to do?” “Nothing.” “That's what you did last weekend!” “Yeah, well I'm not finished.” — Darlene & Roseanne

31 “No, NAME always was the bad influence.” — Roseanne

32 “Talking - it's like yelling, only not as loud.” — Roseanne

33 “Yeah, but you know what they say, NAME. They say, ah, when you really love something you should, you know, make it go away or get rid of it, or whatever.” — Roseanne

34 “You're acting like a crazed psychopath.” [snorts] “Well the voices in my head disagree.” — Dan & Roseanne

35 [on getting married] “I always thought it was the smartest thing I ever did. You obviously don't agree.” “No, I do agree with you, it was the smartest thing you ever did, but we're talking about me now!” — Dan & Roseanne

36 [Person A and Person B bury the hatchet] “So, I guess we've finally approached the end of Bitch-Fest YEAR.” “Oh what a time we had!” — Roseanne & Darlene

37 “You can't tell NAME what to do. She's a big girl!” [snarls] “Compared to who?” — David & Roseanne

38 “What kind of list is he/she making? Not that it's any of my business.” “A hit list.” — Beverly & Dan

39 [feeling for pulse] “I think he’s/she's dead.” [steps back] “Check again.” “I know how to count to zero.” — Roseanne & Dan

40 “What was the second thing you noticed about me?” — Roseanne

41 “Aw, get off the sympathy wagon, NAME; there were plenty of guys/girls standing in line for you to treat 'em like dirt. I was just the lucky one.” — Dan

42 “You are rotten rotten kids, and I can't even believe I'm related to you two!” — Jackie Harris

43 “You'll just do something stupid that you're going to regret later.” — Roseanne

44 “I'm your husband/wife. That's my right.” — Dan

45 [finds present] “You're not going to open it, are you? It's two days away.” “Yea! Well I need time to practice pretending like I like it.” [pulls something ugly from the box] “Oh man, I should'a opened it a week ago.” — Jackie & Roseanne

46 “Oh, this is going to be soooo great!” — Darlene

47 “What's the catch?” “No catch, can't we do something nice?” “I don't know, you never have.” — Roseanne & Becky

48 “Oh my God. You're kidding me!” — Roseanne

49 “Save your breath, NAME, you're not gonna talk me into dropping this lawsuit.” “Well, maybe I can talk you into begging for your life.” — Fred & Roseanne

50 “I'm way more powerful than any law!” — Roseanne

51 “Well NAME, I guess you're just not the man/woman I thought you were ... and I wasn't too happy with that one!” — Roseanne

52 “We should've known, NAME, men stick together no matter how butt headed their argument is.” — Becky

53 [about Person b and person c’s sex life] “You're kidding? You guys have a night?” “Yes, we have a night. It's not only Wednesday, but it's always Wednesday.” You have a time too?” “Yeah. Twenty minutes, or until he gets a cramp.” “Well, you should make him wait half-an-hour after he eats.” — Jackie & Roseanne

54 “Oh, c'mon. Just because you guys aren't having "Wednesday", doesn't mean he’s/she's out ... "Wednesday-ing" somebody else.” — Jackie

55 “What's the matter with you, boy/girl? Can't keep your pants on?” — Dan

56 “Damn women! Who the hell do they think they are!” “We are sugar and spice, and everything nice. So bite me!” — Dan & Roseanne

57 “Have you met NAME?” — Roseanne

58 “Gee, I'd love to NAME, but I'd rather stay home and drill some screws into my toes.” — Darlene

59 “Remember one thing, NAME, I'm your worst nightmare!” — Jackie

60 “You always say how you want better things for us.” “Ah, yea, but I was talking about me and your Dad. You kids already got it too good.” — Becky & Roseanne

61 “You are a controlling bitch!” — Dan

62 “Boy I'll tell you, I wish I had never m - -“ “What? Say it.” “Nothin'.” “Well that makes two of us.“ — Dan & Roseanne

63 “Ooohhh, we all know what this is about, don't we? You're just jealous because I've made something of myself.” “Yeah, an ass ... And where do you get that hoity-toity accent anyway? You're from PLACE!” — Ronnie & Roseanne

64 “I can't believe that I wasted TIME hating you for something as stupid as a wedding, when there's a very good reason to hate you. You're a bitch!” [gasps] “I'm a bitch? Hah! I bow to the queen of all bitches.” — Roseanne & Ronnie

65 “Look me in the eye and tell me it was an accident. And remember ... I can tell when you're lying.” “It was an accident ... could you tell?” — Roseanne & DJ

66 “I could go for something to eat.” “Yeah? Well, then go.” [motions toward the door] — Arnie & Roseanne

67 “You're going to flunk marriage if you can't pass the oral ... oh my God ...” “We know too much, we know too much.” — Dan & Fred

68 “NAME, where'd you get those jelly beans?” “From the bin at store.” “NAME, I told you, you gotta finish eating them while you're in the store, 'else it's stealing!” — Roseanne & DJ

69 “I never thought I would say this ... I'm too depressed to drink.” — Dan

70 “Let's just cut the crap, okay. You're talking to NAME’s mother here, the mother of all mothers and she is majorly mad.” — Roseanne

71 “NAME, NAME, NAME. I have raised two of the best damn liars in the free world. Don't embarrass yourself.” — Roseanne

72 “This is for the pain.” “Owwww. Make it a double.” — Nurse & Jackie

73 “I hate to see you laying here in pain like this.” “Well actually, ever since he/she gave me that shot, I'm feelin' kinda neat.” — Gary & Jackie

74 “I want someone who will love me and support me no matter what. Just like NAME does for you.” “Are you insane! You know how many years I had to put into NAME? You think he/she came out of a box like that!” — Jackie & Roseanne

75 “What do you think your punishment oughta be?” “What do you mean?” “NAME told me everything.” “That little rat.” “But I told him/her I wasn't going to do anything until I get your side of the story.” “Well first we, wait a minute, uh, uh --“ “You're getting good.” — Roseanne & Becky

76 “I worked it out with NAME, he’s/she's gonna stay here and babysit and I'm gonna go out.” “Why would he/she do that?” “I have dirt on him/her. “ “What kind of dirt?” “Now if I told you, I'd have to stay home.” [person a leaves] — Darlene & Roseanne

77 [Person A is acting like a hunchback] “I brought the baggage master, where do you wish me to put it?” “Just put it anywhere Igor.” “Maybe later you and me.” “We'll see.” You're so kind.” [ kisses hand] — Dan & Roseanne

78 [about child’s behavior] “NAME you did stuff like that when you were NAME’s age right?” “No, the boy's odd.” — Roseanne & Dan

79 [offering to the family] “Hey, I got one more pancake.” “I want French toast!” “Well, you better move to Europe.” — Roseanne & DJ

80 [Person A, angry, grabs keys and leaves the house] “Oh God. This is really bad.” “Yeah, I know.” “Oh no. I mean, this is really bad. I'm parked behind him/her.” — Jackie & Dan

81 “Yeah, I do. And we're not going to put him/her through that again, are we?” — Dan

82 [comes in through the front door] “NAME, you all ready to go?” [whining] “I don't wa-haant to-o-o-o! I feel like a used piece of gum that somebody stuck under the table, just waiting for the excitement of drying up and hitting the floor.” — Jackie & Roseanne

83 “You HAVE to take this job ... you're the only one that applied!” — Marsha

84 [grabs the syrup bottle and comes up behind PERSON B] “Remember me, NAME?” [look of terror] “Not Mrs. Butterworth ... please not Mrs. Butterworth.” “Remember how your brother/sister NAME told you how I came to life at night in the cupboard? Remember how I would chase you around even though I have no legs? Well I'm back and I just want one more sticky kiss!” [PERSON B screams] — Roseanne & Jackie

85 “I hope I see you later, I mean, a lot later.” — Roseanne

86 [after the birth] “I didn't call you any horrible names back there, did I?” “No more than usual.” — Roseanne & Dan

87 [about kid dressed as a lawyer] “That's the scariest costume all night.” — Roseanne

88 [going through the candy bowl] “This is all sugar in here.” “Not true, there're chemicals too.” — David & Roseanne

89 “You should be giving children the stuff their bodies need.” [gets fruit from the kitchen] “What the hell is that?” “Wait a minute, honey, I've seen this before, it's food that doesn't come in a wrapper.” “That's unsanitary.” — David, Roseanne & Dan

90 “Did you see the Great Pumpkin last night?” “No, NAME wore pajamas.” — Jackie & Roseanne

91 [discussing Person C] “She's rude and selfish.” “I know, but, inside she's just a ... scared little girl.” Yeah, and I know what's scaring her, the raging bitch on the outside.” — Dan & Roseanne

92 “I'll be back later to give you your present.” “Why can't I just open it now?” “I haven't bought it yet.” — Jackie & Roseanne

93 “And don't you ever feed my dog!” “If I get drunk enough, I'll fight your dog!” — Roseanne

94 “I really don't think it's wise for anyone in this family to be giving away livers.” — Beverly

95 “Say 'I'm not taking any crap from anyone'.” “I am ...” “Stop! It's not 'I am', it's 'I'm'.” “I'm not taking any... do I have to say the C word?” “Yes you do, NAME, because that's the most important word.” “I'm not taking any crap from anyone.” “That was good but are you serving tea, NAME? Get mad and say it.” [louder] “I'm not taking any crap from anyone!” “Good, now personalize it, make it your own.” [louder] “I'm not taking any damn crap from anyone!” — Roseanne & Doris

96 “Hey, where's my 'My other mug is a shot glass' mug?” — Roseanne

97 “Why are you gettin' so mad at me?” “Because you are making me defend NAME.” — Becky & Roseanne

98 “I am not sexist. I'm much too frightened of women to be sexist.” — David

99 “Get me a beer.” “Get it yourself, slob!” — Mark & Darlene

100 “I can't believe you're jealous over this.” “Why not? It's very typical of me.”