#anyway the point of the original post was largely that Loki before that point and even after if you consider Mobius has seen the timeline

[worstloki]

I would just like to calmly point out that it may be recurring but it’s not much of a joke beyond the fact that before the series it was a plain falsehood to say he talked too much, that Norse Myth Loki is a vastly different character, that even if the muzzle was a reference that doesn't vindicate it, and that the silencing has been happening long before the series without being a joke.

Though I understand you are only stating possible links the moments reference, I've repeated @lucianalight's reply as I do not believe it matters if any of the listed moments are part of a recurring joke.

While in Thor 1, the moments when Loki is mocked and silenced are put there to convey that he is being mistreated and ignored and that’s part of the reason why he is justified to be hurt and angry about it, in the show Loki’s mistreatment and the way he is silenced are justified because of the framing that he is so full of himself and talks so much.

I'm also throwing a link to this relevant gifset @lokihiddleston made bc I like it XD

appropriate reaction

[alwida10]

Hey! I just saw that you reblogged a post of mine on Loki's powers a while ago. And while I completely agree with your tags (Loki's powers in the tv series among other things), you also write that the show was originally written for a different character and only the names were changed and the magic added later on. I've never read that anywhere, could you explain? It would make so much sense given how different Loki is in the show and how his previous experience is largely disregarded.

Hi there!!

It took me a while to answer this because of real-life stuff, but now I’m there!

By saying the show was written for another character I referred to this analysis on Twitter which again links back to another analysis on Tumblr. (The original link in Twitter is broken, but I found the post manually). I read this analyses a while back, and admire people who were able and willing to read Waldron’s original script. For me, it reads like an insincere column on what a deeply conservative person assumes would be what a left-leaning, progressive audience would like to hear without understanding anything about the points he tries to mirror. I can't add much to the original posts.

However, Waldron’s comments about Loki, including the “he’s an ass and that makes him easy to write” as well as his jokes on never having watched Thor 1 before writing the series can certainly give you the idea he never knew much about our beloved blorbo before writing him. The fact that he thought making Loki say “he doesn’t enjoy killing people but does it anyway for his personal gain” (rephrased) would make TVA Loki in any way redeemable is telling imo.**

Now, technically this is all I can say to your ask, BUT I realize I never truly elaborated on the stuff I mentioned in said tags, so here is an explanation for everyone who would like more about it.

I read those a while back and took my basic analyzing skills to the test by taking a look at Loki and how writing for a character works in general. This has two aspects (I can think of from the top of my head).

If a work is written for one special character it should be impossible to achieve the same plot if he was replaced by another character without the special abilities.

One thing I read a while back (and sadly forgot where) is that both sex and fight scenes are both character exposition scenes. This is true for magic as well, just it gets rarely used since in all of literature there aren’t that many characters who possess magic.

In the Thor movies, Loki’s magic is masterfully used, showing that the works were actually written with Loki in mind. Both Thor 1 and the dark world would simply not work if you put -let’s say Fandral- in Loki’s position. Loki’s skill to find the pathways between worlds is essential. And his ability to make himself invisible is essential for Thor 1. I could go on, but you get the idea, and I don’t want to get this too long to read.

Regarding the character exposition, Loki’s magic in the first movies was a mirror for his characterization (as it should be). He could make himself invisible, for he has been invisible to his family. He could cast illusions since he learned that people preferred an illusion to his real self. He could make others manipulate into saying what he wanted them to say because that was how Loki survived on Asgard (post-credits scene of Thor 1).

In TDW, we see Loki’s anger and frustration manifest in a telekinetic blast that ruins everything around him, and if that isn’t a masterful analogy for his arc I don’t know what would be.

Now coming to the series. All magic Loki uses is cosmetically or for show. He dries himself, he makes sweet little fireworks. How is that connected to his characterization? The show tells us he is insecure and loves only himself. If you squint real hard you might argue the drying is a sign of him being used to comfort. But I thought he was pampered and spoiled? Wouldn’t that mean he had other people to dry him?

And then there is the hiding/teleportation* scene on Lamentis. What does it say about his character? If it IS teleportation what does it say about him? That he can go distances without walking, perhaps, which would fit his line “I never walked so much in my life”, but doesn’t fit that scene from Thor 1 where we see how long he had to walk. And if he can teleport why doesn’t he spare them the walk? And if it doesn’t work for long distances, why does he run for cover right when they realize they are on Lamentis and doesn’t teleport? Why doesn’t he teleport onboard the spaceship? IF they wanted to use the fight as a character exposition, they should have made him use illusions. That’s his trademark.

Next is the “lifting a building” stuff. What does that say? I guess if you limit the interpretation to the series, it could be considered foreshadowing for the “we are stronger than we think”. And like so many stuff of the show it lacks any connection to the former canon. Loki isn’t known for brute strength, either of the body or of the magic. That’s Thor. Loki is known for being the intelligent one. Interestingly, the scene spells rather “we are dumber than we think”, too, since making two steps to the side would have achieved the same effect without any flexing of inexplainable telekinesis muscles.

The same goes for the fireworks in the train (characterizing Loki as sentimental, ok fine, and later as a dumb drunk who can’t control what illusion he casts, 😒). The plot would work without that magic. Just like it works without the drying, the building lifting, and all the other magic Loki used.

So, yeah, magic is Loki’s specialty that sets him apart from many other characters. Someone who writes a story with him in mind will use that automatically. They didn’t. Because it wasn’t him the show was written for. But the worst guy of all time.

Since I only talked about the magic here, I would like to recommend this marvelous analysis on Loki’s speech pattern and body language in the shown in comparison to the former installments.

* The only thing the “I don’t enjoy it” achieves is taking possible sadism out of the equation. TVA Loki is still irredeemable because he decided his sense of superiority would be worth more than the lives of the people in New York. This is egoism and a total dismissal of other people’s lives, something that cannot be “unlearned” by learning to love himself. That only removes the former motivation for the slaughter. Should something else motivate him to kill people, he would act just the same.

On the other hand, OG Loki has been coerced, not only by torture as we see it in The Avengers but also under the influence of the mind stone. Whenever we see him having the choice he acts morally better by sparing lives where he can.

**I don’t consider it teleportation since there is a time delay between Loki vanishing and re-appearing, and imo teleportation is instantaneous. Also, he vanishes feet first but reappears head first which doesn’t sit right with teleportation, and rather with making himself invisible and lifting invisibility again, but that’s for another post.

[a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark]

So that post I just reblogged complaining about Bioware and its handling of religion in Mass Effect. Part of the reason it resonates with me, particularly the bit about Turian Heaven, is, well.

I'm pagan. My Gods are Odin and Loki and Thor, and I routinely have dealings with Njord and Aegir and Ran and Mannanan Mac Lir. And if I had a nickel for every time Valhalla is referred to as Viking Heaven I'd never work a day again in me life.

I'd have more money than Bezos.

Do I recognize that it can be a convenient shorthand? Yes. Have I used it myself? Yes. Although mostly when I was younger and stupider and before I learned better.

Because Valhalla isn't really a reward. And neither is Folkvanger. And Niflheim and Helheim aren't really punishments. They just... are.

The sort of people likely to end up in Valhalla are professional combatants. And they end up spending the rest of eternity fighting.

The population of Folkvanger too, is largely like to be professional warriors, but the relevant point here isn't that they dedicate their life to combat, it's that they can afford to, and life in Freya's hall is akin to what a well-off Norseman would likely experience in a Jarls hall, only more.

Niflheim or Helheim are just cool and damp. Foggy. There's no mention of punishments that I've encountered in the lore (although I could be wrong. I've not done the deepest dives)

The concept of them as rewards or punishments is based on 19th Century interpretation (usually by folks who were major influences for the Nazis) of 13th Century Christian retellings of the oral history of a religion that had been suppressed since the 11th Century at the latest. (Thank you, Snorri. Also Fuck. You.)

And we know the Christian Biases crept into the best preserved of our sources, because, amongst other reasons, of the demonization of Loki in parts of Snorri's Eddas. For example his omission of positive kennings for Loki that are preserved elsewhere, as discussed by Parkhouse in a history text printed in 2021.

Anyway, I just needed to get this rant off my chest and the original post wasn't the place to do it. Tl:DR, the concept of Heaven and Hell as reward and punishment afterlife is a fairly Christian conceit and assigning it as a universal concept is reductive, insulting and just plain wrong.

[silverloreley]

This is for @lucianalight, but I suppose since I’m putting it out there I’m going to get more attention that I wish for (I largely wish for this post to not get popularity because popular posts always bring controversy and hatred to the makers those days and I have enough on my mind to deal with that too). 

For everyone that may feel stung by what I write, keep in mind: 1) english is not my first language, 2) I tend to block easily (and unapologetically, at this point), 3) that this is in no way meant to elicit discourse of any kind or worsen anyone’s day, mine or lucianalight’s or anyone’s who happens to read it. It’s an idea that was buzzing into my mind and I wanted to get it out and explore a bit, if possible, nothing more.

To the post:

Reading your various analysis about hero coding (I’d tag them but you know them better than me ;P) and so on in Marvel movies I had a thought: if the story of Thor1 had been told from the Jotnar’s pov, the two dead at the start of the movie would have been a pair of trusted soldiers who had been sent on a desperate mission to retrieve an ancient heirloom of the royal family which was also a source of energy for the whole realm, an artifact  lost in a violent war that may or may not had been born because of greed (but whose greed? because both parties felt in the right...).

This last act happened because the king had an interesting lead on how to break in the enemies’ vault to retrieve what was rightfully theirs and they needed it so bad he had to make an attempt.

Attempt ends badly, the emissaries are killed. It could have ended there, just a failed adventure and another hope lost, but a few hours after the fact the crown prince of the enemy kingdom comes, to accuse and wager war with an attitude that people who had been reduced in misery and scorned for longer that the prince had lived couldn’t accept and someone made a small scorn to the prince, a mockery of no real value and little bite, but which leads the arrogant and violent prince to react with deadly intents.

Many people die at the hand of the tyrant king’s golden son, who is not only as arrogant as his father but not even half as smart. He is, although, powerful and hard to kill.

They could have done it, though, even adding to it the prince isn’t alone, because in his arrogance he had led his companions along to the heart of Jotun territory and jotnar have the natural advantage there.

But no, deus ex machina! A reminder they are still less powerful: the tyrant king appears and tries to wash off the blood on his son’s hands as a childlish act. Sure, nothing like some old-fashioned death to show how harmless the boy is, uh?

King Laufey promises war. A war, everyone knows, they can’t even fight, let alone win, because the only effective means of transportation are in the enemy’s hands. The war could hardly happen, but pride forces them to declare it, and try as they may to fight it, should any chance happen. After all, they are dying anyway, they are desperate like that, what else do they have to lose? 

In a part of the public opinion there is the belief that with the death of the enemy king and the retrieval of their artifact everything would go back as it once was, with high buildings and better defences against enemies of every kind, may it be armies or starvation, beasts or illnesses (after all, we don’t really know what the Casket does, no?)... and a king who is supposed to care for his people needs to listen to those voices and maybe he made them his own too.

Now, if the story had been told from the pov of the jotnar, there could have been preparations for war, or plans to avoid it, maybe the hope for another chance to steal back the Casket, which was later offered by the supposedly traitorous second prince? But let’s not look in the gifted horse’s mouth, it’s a plan.

Which failed. Or rather, it was a trap. The new attempt at revenge for their people’s lost pride and status (by killing the tyrant king in his own bed, without additional bloodshed, plus recovering the Casket) went down the drain and Laufey died, on top of the (probably) thousands of victims from the Bifrost’s continous activation that left the jotnar in even worse state that before. All because they were angry and desperate. 

One could even add the kidnapping and brainwashing of their lost prince (not that unlike the way barbarian noble children were raised in the court of Byzathium, educated in the ways the empire deemed best to use them better later on...), the humiliation of having one of them turned against them that way. That must have stung, uh? Tragedy upon tragedy, and the prince was even discarded by the tyrant king at the end of it, leaving the situation even more hopeless than before.

Maybe what we saw as a hero’s journey to improvement (Thor’s, although one with a bit of salt could argue that any improvement was lacking, conditional and even temporary), parallel to a villain’s origin story (Loki’s, although I argue he’s way less villainous than others in the MCU and, anyway, he redeemed himself quite a few times afterwards, but that’s another discussion), was in truth the tragedy of a whole population. Maybe, a bit like the tragedies about the trojan war, it could have been the lamentation of a populace brought to its knees, conquered for a fault that was partially theirs but that was paid for far worse than due, and punished for attempting to get back on its feet. All while little changed for their oppressors.

Perhaps, it’s a matter of perspectives.

[prince-liest]

I finally had a minute to sit down and give this the reply it properly deserves, so: EFFUSIVE FEELINGS UNDER THE CUT! <3 I'M USING THE HEAD WINGS AND HALO AND EYE PATTERN FOREVER!!

I've said this before and I've said it again, but the head wings are just the most fun thing to me, and I particularly just really love all the concept sketched you have of them. The way that the middle wings' folded silhouette looks like the original bob cut (plus the adorable ponytail vibe of the smallest wing set) while the top wings replace the little feather antennae is, like, really impressive to me because it's a concept that completely preserves the original aesthetic while also adding like three extra layers of awesomeness. They're expressive! They have more eyeballs on them! The sketch in particular where Tzafael is chatting with Rosie and has to lift a wing to let her close enough to whisper in their ear sent me in the best way possible, as did the headshot where all their head wings are flared open in shock and confusion. I genuinely fucking adore the head wings so much. On top of that, the comment you made about the original Biblical purpose of the head wings (to cover the face as a sign of humility) vs the way that Tzafael wears them without doing that is extremely on point, because a lot of Tzafael's whole thing in hell is leaning into Pride.

I also REALLY love the halo actually being shaped like a drawing of an eye, as well as the way you drew the actual eyes on their face. The large lower lashes and sleepy angle while maintaining a sort of look of superiority was your goal and you nailed itttttt (and also I think it's very very fitting)!!!

I'm honestly 100% adopting every single change you made about their head/face/halo to be canon if that is okay with you, hahaha.

Other shorter misc thoughts:

You're correct, they would definitely wear a skirt sometimes, and it would absolutely be as part of a little sweater vest outfit. For all that they've left heaven, they are, fundamentally, still kind of the trust fund kid.

Genuinely love how you did the pearlescence for the magpie feather colors, I think it captures the aesthetic SO well!!

Can't believe you accidentally clocked my years-long life-consuming Loki phase from high school. Ow.

RIB EYEBALLS VERY COOL. GIVING THEM TAILFEATHERS IN SOME OF THE CONCEPTS ALSO VERY COOL.

Absolutely delighted that you did some exorcist-era concept sketches, those are going to live on in my heart forever.

The drawing where they are chuckling and all of their floating eyes are also curved up in amusement: IMPECCABLE.

The fish purse DID deserve some doodles!! It's fucking cute!! It makes expressions!!!!

It's funny that you drew them lording their bit of height over Alastor because another friend of mine has a Hazbin OC as well and we had an extensive conversation about how Tzafael is absolutely that tall asshole friend that will lean their elbow on their shorter friends' heads. Extremely character accurate.

And they WILL infodump at length on Angel Dust for as long as he sits still (and possibly a while after that) about proper aquarium keeping and fish husbandry, and be so so so proud about it, hahaha. Let them set you up a persona fish tank in your room, Angel Dust. IT'LL BE SIMPLE, ANGEL DUST. THEY'LL PAY FOR IT, ANGEL DUST.

Honestly everything on the Situations page made me very happy <3

Anyway I know I keep sucking us into a cycle of mutual thanking but I just wanted to say thank YOU again RIGHT BACK AT YOU for sharing your thoughts on this process and genuinely brightening my day so so much! I want you to know that I actually first saw this post at 2:15am when my roommate woke me up by slamming the bathroom door and having a long phone conversation in there and this post made me feel like 95% less murderous about it. Truly magical.

I finally finished the piece for @prince-liest's OC, Tzafael! this really reminded me of how fun character design is (and also that I've completely forgotten how to make digital art, but that's besides the point...) <3

credit to @hogbogglerspirits for the umbrella design! I kind of butchered it so please look at the original and throw lots of love at them

LOTS of notes, draft sketches, brainstorming, etc. below the cut. enjoy!

(note: a lot of what I'm talking about is based on posts prince made under their #tzafael tag, so take a look at those if you haven't yet!)

thanks for joining me below the cut! here's the sketch without the colors as a treat (in case you want to color it yourself or something, idk).

notes about making the digital drawing:

holy shit this took me forever -- I was not kidding about forgetting how to make digital art lmao. I forgot how much less forgiving digital lines are and genuinely lost the spoons to even attempt lineart, hence just a sketch below the colors.

some of you might've seen the original sketch I sent to prince, which the digital version diverges from just a little. it's mostly the halo which I'll explain later, and I finally caved and drew the sixth eye (you can tell I drew and erased it multiple times in the sketch lmao -- still don't know if I prefer it with or without)

here's the original color ref by the lovely @gendermeh! my color scheme ended up looking really different, so some notes about that:

I was looking at references for magpies like this

and I wanted to basically follow that color scheme while also being somewhat similar to the original -- dark head/shoulders --> dark top of the jacket, bright blue wings --> bright blue bottom of the jacket, greenish tailfeathers --> green pants, hints of purple --> purplish sleeve and pant ends

I also tried (and mostly failed, let's be real) to capture the iridescence of the feathers -- they look like oil spilled on the pavement or iridescent hematite to me! I think the key ended up being adding bright greens/purples and roughly blending them into the blues or vice versa but I didn't really figure that out until I got to the pants lol.

I'm gonna be honest; I don't remember why I went with this shape for the tailcoat. I just remember being unhappy with the sketch and then trying a bunch of different shapes that mostly looked worse lol -- I think I landed on this because a split tail kind of looks like wings?

KEPT the shoes -- absolutely magnifique. I wish I knew how to color gold better.

added lots of jewelry! they like shiny things :)

ALSO PLEASE LOOK AND APPLAUD ME. I FINALLY REMEMBERED TO LABEL MY LAYERS!! NO I DON'T REMEMBER WHY THE HALO HAS ITS OWN LAYER.

alright, time for some more design notes/explanations + draft sketches!

but first, a couple disclaimers:

I want to make it very clear that I LOVE everything about the original design. I made a lot of changes based on personal preference/the way I interpreted the character. I was actually planning on making a digital piece that was more faithful to the original design too, but I was just out of spoons for it cause of life stuff.

you probably shouldn't try to read the notes I made in the sketches I'm about to show you unless I say otherwise. most of it is incoherent brain vomit in illegible artist handwriting and I'll transcribe/explain the stuff I think is important :) (the stuff in quotes are direct transcriptions of my notes)

I know my sketches are very messy lol. I only draw for fun, so I usually don't force myself to make stuff any neater than necessary unless it's supposed to be a formal piece. try to bear with me.

1:

my first few sketches of them! (I think?) this was before I sent prince a laundry list of questions so I was still trying to get a vibe

"magpie -- beak lips?" -- you'll see this in a few sketches; I considered giving them the lipstick design that velvette has since it looks like a beak. I still kind of think it's cute, but 1) I'm pretty sure velvette is the only character that has them, so I didn't want to make it seem like they were related somehow and 2) I thought it might be distracting with how much other crazy stuff I ended up including in their head/face

also, sidenote since it's relevant to what I said about vel: something I realized was important is how one character's design relates to the designs of the rest of the cast. I wasn't sure how much I should've gone for what looked good in a vacuum, how much should be based on what other characters looked like canonically, or what other characters would look like if I also designed them. it ended up being mostly the second option, but it was honestly still a struggle. should I take away some of the tumblr-sexyman-ness (no shade to tumblr sexymen; I love them) because there are other characters that already have it? should I relate their design to sera's and emily's in the show or should I think about how I would've designed sera and emily? should I follow some of the design philosophy of the original show and just throw stuff on there because it looks cool (the answer is yes btw)? decisions, decisions ...

I don't think this showed up really well in most of the drawings, but they actually have a black line down their nose! let's take a look at sera:

since they're siblings, I wanted to include some similar facial markings. the nose line ended up being the only thing I kept though -- I was going to include freckles, but I have a compulsive need to give every character giant bottom lashes so there ended up being no room T.T I like that the magpie's hints of purple kind of match hers tho!

the wingification of the hair begins! I was still unsure of it at this point, but it was an idea I had since I was kind of struggling with how straight the feathers were in the original.

"maybe the ones on their head count as wings (so only one main pair)" -- I originally just had the 2 pairs of wings on their head, so I was thinking of just giving them 1 pair on their back so there would be still be 6 total. also this middle drawing of them is meant to be their exorcist outfit (I wanted it to be a cross between what the other exorcists wear and sera's outfit)

at this stage, I was thinking of giving them more magpie-like characteristics, so I looked at some references and tried to emulate them in a more human design. this ended up being really awkward so I scrapped it, but I still like the idea that their exorcist mask looks like a bird (kind of like a plague doctor's)

2:

peekaboo! I love the idea of them using the wing hair to cover their eyes lol. (ended up using that idea for my own seraph OC since that's their biblically accurate purpose: to cover their eyes/faces in reverence/humility -- doesn't really fit with tzafael tho lol, so they show their face most of the time)

an eyeball in the bowtie -- pretty self-explanatory. the eyeball motif is important.

the one in the middle is just me practicing drawing the original design, and the one on the right is another exorcist outfit I think. I wanted to include the diamond motif/points that sera has on her dress (the diamonds on the bottom turn into eyeballs, which is why the final design also has eyeballs on tzafael's sleeves/pants)

3:

lots of notes on the side based on what prince said in response to my ask

"localized omniscience (power of sight) -- cool + ironic that their sight was supposed to serve God but made them see Heaven for what it really is instead"

another exorcist outfit, this time including the feathers

I was also experimenting with the halo; I was trying to make it look sort of like sera's crown, but that didn't feel right ...

some practice with eyes -- my style is pretty flexible with eye shapes, so I try to make them suit the character. I drew lute's eye and also an actual magpie's as references -- lute's because of the exorcist background and also because they looked appropriately sharp, magpie's for obvious reasons. once again, my compulsive need for giant bottom lashes strikes

there was honestly a lot to balance with the eyes -- I wanted them to look condescending/bored (lowered top lid) but also amused (raised bottom lid) and like a magpie (round) but also harsh/mischievous (sharp, maybe slit pupils like a snake) and similar to sera's (but not too decorated -- also does it make sense for them to look like sera's if emily's don't even look like sera's?)

considered having wings on the shoulders -- the magpie pattern is super cool, so it would've been nice to have that somewhere more explicitly in the design. I still think that might fit in an outfit they would wear in heaven (maybe for formal occasions)

the introduction of the sweatervest! honestly I kind of love this for the way it captures more of the preppy, spoiled old-money upper-class vibe some heaven residents have, but it was scrapped since I couldn't imagine them wearing that while trying to scare the denizens of hell. maybe something they wear casually though.

"yes nictating membrane (on every eye!)" -- AHH I'm so sad I didn't end up putting this to use. I just feel like the whole effect is based on actually seeing them blink, and I don't animate lol.

4:

ugh, the nefarious laughter one ... don't worry I tried harder on a sketch later on lol.

"like the diamonds on Sera + Em" + "diamonds turn into eyes?" -- I draw the diamonds on the sweatervest turning into eyes later.

tried an actual bow instead of a bowtie -- very cute but didn't fit the vibe.

a skirt! I think they would wear a skirt sometimes.

5:

"FUCK ASS BOB" -- asghdk the wingification of the hair continues. unfortunately, I'm realizing at this point that the silhouette of the hair is starting to look a lot like alastor's. I gave a very half-hearted attempt at mitigating this, but it goes back to the thing of how much I am obligated to the original show's designs and what looks cool to me -- I think the wing hair fits them and I didn't want to change it because of alastor, plus my alastor design actually has completely different hair anyway. I did add a third pair to the back to look like a ponytail though.

introduction of the scarf! I was actually going to include this in the final design but uh,,, I forgor. are you starting to see a pattern.

the reason for the scarf is that the "tzafael going to places they know they'll draw attention/can incite chaos" reminded me of that scene in avengers where loki walks into a fancy building looking pretentious af and just casually stabs a guy's eye out. not really the same thing but I felt like the vibe matched. hence, loki's funny little scarf fit.

6:

uaoughdfjh it was SO FUN to draw the wing hair, and it was at this point that I realized they had to stay even though I wasn't sure if it was too different from the original.

gossiping with rosie cause that's the first person I thought of -- tzafael also summoned a pearl necklace to clutch because of the sheer drama of it all (your ex-husband did what??)

also started drawing the rings on their hands. magpie like shiny.

7:

lots of notes cause I was trying to compile the things I still needed to think about/incorporate into the final (I thought this was gonna be the last draft ... haha)

trying to include more bird/eye motifs

"fish ... purse?" -- ha! I forgot I was gonna give them a fish purse. I think I drew that in a later sketch, but not them wearing it.

"picked up Hellish traits bc of extended stay -- existential crisis?" -- I asked prince about the sharp teeth, and their answer implied that they became sharp as they stayed in hell longer, which got me thinking ... I feel like that's actually a great body horror concept. lucifer falling and looking like a normal angel at first, eventually waking up to more and more devilish features and feeling more and more like he's lost his home and his past self ... spooky.

another exorcist outfit -- I actually really like the eyes on the ribs! I never made a final draft for the exorcist uniform, but it would probably look close to what I drew here.

the one on the bottom was meant to be similar to the feathered shoulder pad idea, but this time with the whole magpie (with giant eyes). tried putting the "freckles" (really just dots in this case) over their brows, but that ended up looking kinda weird.

the eye is pretty close to the final design

the one on the right was supposed to be the full final design, but I was totally off lol -- the long trench coat really doesn't give off the right vibe at all

8:

playing around more with the loki vibes of the scarf, also added an eyeball to the chest

I never got happy with the design of the back of the coat -- I think it should probably just be blank at this point. but the sketch here is meant to look like wings/tailfeathers.

yet another exorcist outfit, this time with more magpie motifs. I actually like this one a lot, but I probably should've added the eyes on the ribs from the last sketch. I think I also considered giving them actual tailfeathers at this point.

9:

thanks for sticking with me! I promise we're almost done. have a trans dinosaur I saw while I was travelling as a treat <3

10:

this is after I finished the sketch for the final piece and realized I didn't like the halo design. I drew lute's, sera's, em's, and adam's as refs. (honestly I love the show's idea that each person/people of each rank have a different kind of halo -- I wonder if they can switch them out?)

my main inspiration ended up being the exorcist halo, but I made it look more like an eyeball -- since it always points toward heaven, we can say it's always "looking" at heaven.

(also sera's feather lashes! they're so cute)

11:

EVEN MORE EXORCIST DOODLES

12:

tzafael shooing away my fox demon OC

13:

these are actually sketches for my own seraph OC (raguel), but I wanted to include it since it has even more wing/feather hair variations. I also think the idea of the eyelashes being feather-like could've been cool for tzafael.

14:

some more OG design doodles

tzafael and raguel together because self-indulgence is the name of the game babey (also wanted to draw tzafael freaked out with their wings flared)

(raguel's blind btw, hence asking for eyes -- tzafael has so many!)

you can probably read the dialogue here so give it a shot. I believe in you.

15:

you know what? the fish purse deserves some doodles

16:

putting them in Situations! I was reading over prince's posts again and I realized there were some funny things I could draw them doing/saying

again you can probably read the words here

angel dust also loves fish (but is apparently bad at taking care of them, hence the suffocating blobfish), so tzafael shows him their aquarium (complete with live fish and flora ofc)

I thought alastor was 8 ft but apparently he's 7.3 ft? so tzafael is enjoying the .2 ft they have on him

trying and failing again to come up with a design for the back of the jacket lol

THE crowley quote

apparently the halo still sends signals from the exorcists -- thought their reaction to the battle at the hotel would be funny

the nefarious laughter (take 2) that I promised -- based on a doodle of alastor viv did that I found

them being sad and curling up in a pile of shiny things like a dragon

OKAY I'M DONE. huge, huge thank you to prince for sharing their OC! this was a lot of fun and clearly inspired me a lot haha. please check out their writing; it's literally so good that I can't read anything else these days. I am chewing on their thoughts constantly.

this was an absolute monster of a post, so if you're still reading, I am both impressed and bewildered at your patience. I hope you enjoyed! (I certainly did!)

[blindtaleteller]

PROMPT: OOC Interview with [X] Clint ‘Cuyler’ Barton

" Been a while since we did one of these.. but. You know the drill man! This is your first interview, yeah? Want to explain why and where you’re from? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) Besides trolling the hell out of tags with Viedimadr? *grins* Ah, mostly that’s keeping the core element I guess. Most Bartons are the quintessential superhero, at least in the range of having that alter-ego. Might not wear a mask ‘til Ronin in the MCU? But --and especially with how my character works pre-Avengers; sharing past the job isn’t exactly any of our fortes? We have a family to protect, and if you do the math of how old the kids are even in Ultron: that family has been a thing since before we take the higher ground up out of the paid-SHIELD-killer status I’m in that Nat does mention in the original Avengers. Also usually save it up between the pages and occasional poke into tags and skits here on the dash.

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) As for where I’m from! *he leans back and hooks his hands behind his head* We’re Universe Fourteen; two doors on the left down the connecting Vestibule from Lisan’s Universe, and one to right of the Ego-centrics with Grey Knight and Leadsprite. Ours starts out different in the respect that, Fury ends up getting the Scepter tap instead of me; and the resulting conflict goes very differently.

“ Such as? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) We never even hit New York; Fury tries to snag me in, and under the Stone’s influence that means trying to at best grab my kids since he’s one of the only two people attached who know about them. Loki ends up breaking form and getting in the middle of that. Yanks us off world and out of Fury’s sight, with the goods. That’s where we picked up with our first published bit ‘The Warming Stone’ anyways.

” Speaking of.. what do you think about the split from the original timeline? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) I’m having a lot of fun with it myself. And I’m pretty sure Laura is somewhere outside the room clapping in agreement; she’s quieter than most but a constant presence and; she and Lo get along real well. Anyway. End up dealing with that whole ‘the city is flying, we’re fighting an army of robots; and I have a bow and arrow’ overwhelmed mentality a lot sooner because of it? I like the existential twists that come with the Dark Fairy Tale elements and whatnot that get thrown out there and right into our faces pretty much immediately, what with running face-first, on foot, into Jotunheim of all places through that doorway in Illinois. We did some collabs with the other guys that run through there, on top of the research and expanded on some of the wildlife ourselves to manage that? So that was some actual fun. This side of the pool I can absolutely admit us Bartons are a bit masochistic? *laughs* I am pretty sure we enjoy exploring those bits and how we’d react to them. I’m no different in that respect. I mean.. how would you react to being a dinner sized meal for labrador-to-great-dane sized snow-caterpillars with the elongated teeth of freakin shark? Or finding out the hard way there’s giant predator owls flying around about the size of a plane that eat those, just as an example? Never mind trolls, or frost giants, or anything else that manages to survive in that kind of insane climate and might decide to try and eat you just to see if you taste good.

” Probably stay inside forever if I was going to be honest? XD Anyway, Is there anything you’d change about your current story? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) Considering we’re still building back there? Not yet. I mean, too much fun so far. I mean we’ve done what.. four parts at this point? All during what we’re currently calling the Traveler Phase from Earth to Asgard through the doors between Illinois, Jotunheim, and Vanaheim. Which is interesting in itself. I mean whole other world, and things are shaken up before we even get there and (in part because of the fact that) we end up dependent on our Loki pretty fast. I think maybe my only change there would be in maybe doing another part for Extras that includes ‘Ogre’ .. who hasn’t even shown yet at that point in the story. He’s our Bruce Banner; or more specifically our Hulk? Thing is finding a space that won’t interfere too heavily with the book when we do it though. We could excuse the bits in the Traveler Phase because we intended to shorten it when we got there anyway; maybe cut straight to Asgard with that as a supplemental extra; a lot like the GROUNDED kids did with their out-takes featured in the same platovember series.

“ I imagine messing with Universe Three’s next installment’s been helping that along? “

    Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:)  Oh yeah, definitely. That mirror of Bruce’s is pretty similar in mindset and approach.

” That said, do I have to ask if there’s anyone in particular you like to watch or get into reading over their shoulder when they’re at it? “

    Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) Oh definitely The Bean right now, for sure? But there’s a list.. *grins* GROUNDED and DREAMS being woven together finally, especially with  some of the inter-universal roles being brought up is a big one. Looking forward to whipping out that sword.. heh. Though, watching the ESCAPE kids from the other forming Vestibule has been an interesting ride now that they’re not entirely cloistered in Tuscon, or their hotel room. I know what’s up there outside of Traverse too, which helps. And there’s Josh. I think everyone’s been waiting for that fireball to explode across the page? The fact Tony, Lo and Fury managed to somehow make that nutcase all on their own with just a few lines still makes me laugh. Walsh is a character and a half. I’m looking forward to getting my chance at screwing with his mirror in our Door. Leigh is a weird bit of fun too, but Josh is definitely one of those at the top of the list, and who you chose for a face in close rep, is interesting. Maybe Vix too as far as characters go? But he’d a little lower down for me at the moment.

“ Stab, stab pull..? Heh. Which is your favorite upcoming group from the books/portions of Mixology aka the Lokiverse at large? And which are you most curious about? “

     Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:)  Ha! yeah; stab-stab, pull. Loxley’s got an interesting bunch next door. *rubs his hands up over the top of his head and back down* Honestly, MONSTERS and ASHES. Ah, that’s Door and or Universes Three and Twelve for those that don’t know. Three has a similar bonding mechanic between Bruce and Lo I’ve been interested in, while ASHES hits on other things, including a rockier relationship and overall dynamic between his Bartons and Redbird (that’s his Quill) that tends to go dark in the personal aspects a lot. I guess I like that struggle between them, personally. Loxley brushes something similar going on post-Ronin with his family dynamic with his internals and his Lo’s concerns for that; but I think Lili and his crew hit that at a whole other angle from around five years prior on? With, a whole other take on the family dynamic that Laura and I have with Lo by the time we leave Asgard. And that’s curious to me.

” I put you guys through a lot of shit in the name of storytelling. Any parts you have complaints about? “ 

   Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) None, planned or otherwise.

“ ..that was fast. “

   Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:)  What can I say? I enjoy the twisty shit, at least on this end of the pool. Ignoring the reservations, and dealing with the danger-fear of getting hurt in ways that can’t be fixed with stitches or band-aids, of accepting that kind of bond knowing how it started and risking the idea that finding out why might not make that danger less or that person better or more relatable than perceived to be able to accept them farther even after that investment?

  Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:) The contradiction of pride and ego versus conscience and the guilt when it belongs there getting in the way -and even dealing with when it should be toned down that results in having one,  even if it’s just a sliver in places and playing that out along with dipping into places mostly ignored or washed over in the Universes; is interesting and fun to me. Danger included. I have a little less guilt than my mirrors in a lot of directions that gets placed elsewhere after we come back to Earth; and I enjoy that dynamic and what we’re trying to explore there. That whole; ‘what if he was loyal, without he stone’s influence’ aspect, in our own flavor is a LOT of fun to play with. It’s a very different Universe, but holds hints and background pieces, and similarities enough, as well as the core; that it’s a feasable alternative to the canon line. Which is extra fun, for the personal aspects or ‘humanity’ we manage in the process? So no.. no complaints. Not yet anyways.. heh. We’ll see how I feel when you start actually touching actual, hands-on Gagnarok fixes and alternates though. Outside of that Cosmic-FrostIron bitty from a few doors down anyway. That’s gonna be a mess.

  “ Whee.. yeah. MONSTERS gets that honor first, most likely.. “

  Cuyler (Clint Barton D14:)  Good. Bean can handle that best, I think... or maybe worst. Either way it’s gonna be entertaining for me..

For those interested, Cuyler’s published stories are found below in chronological order (they were posted out of order in part because of the prompts themselves and some parts were planned ahead to take certain slots.) The title names are the links to each part.

The Warming Stone (part 1)

Fathers (part 4)

The Hart (part 2)

Between the Reds (part 3)

[codenamewitcher]

I just want y’all to know that this first started out as a post on how Sylvie’s character arc didn’t add up but as I got further into this it turned into an analysis of everything that has happened so far (episode four has yet to release) and how I would love how Sylvie comes about the TVA and her hatred for them.

Before I get into how I would love her arc to happen, I am going to talk about the TVA and how time works in the MCU real quick to understand why I would love things to go these ways and why I hope that the inconsistencies with Sylvie, Loki, and the TVA don’t just become a huge plot hole. I’m also placing a read more because it’s a lot that I’m going to be talking about.

So for starters, we know that the TVA stresses that they have to move quickly in removing a the variant and resetting the nexus event before it crosses the red line and can no longer be reset creating a multiverse. We also know that time works differently at the TVA (its a null time zone in the comics) and from Thor: Ragnarok we know that time can move differently on other planets (i.e. Loki falling from the Bifrost seconds before Thor did but still spending weeks on Sakaar before Thor arrives even though they fell from it seconds apart).

However, from what we have seen in the four times the TVA arrives at an nexus event, it appears they have anywhere from minutes to maybe even a few hours to reset the branch before its too late, but it does have to happen within the day the event took place. We can assume this as we first see them catch the L1130 Loki Variant in the same day he broke from the Scared Timeline (we can’t say for sure how long it was on Earth before the TVA arrested him as we don’t know how long he was laying in the desert for but it was long enough for the native people surrounding where he landed in Gobi Desert to arrive). The second time, is in 1549 France and it seems like the TVA arrived minutes or seconds after that nexus event happened as the child with the candy from the future was still at the church. We see the very same thing happen at the 1858 Salina and 1985 Wisconsin nexus events where the TVA arrives minutes after the event or within the same time of day on the same day of the event. 

Now why am I mentioning all of this, well because the events that happened in Sylvie's life compared to Loki’s life are similar but very different compared to what, how, and when it took place in his. 

They are similar in the since that they both are adopted, both are children of Laufey, both are experts in magic welding, both are originally named Loki, and both wear similar clothing and headdresses. But that’s so far where the similarities end, they appear to be the same person but had different upbringings. 

Sylvie grew up without knowing her adoptive mother, her adopted mother either died or left early in her life, and she grew up knowing that she was adopted as well. 

Meanwhile Loki didn’t find out that he was adopted until much later in his life and he had a very close relationship with his adoptive mother who was very involved in his life and also didn’t die until much later in his life as well. 

These time differences in when Sylvie and Loki experience these things in their life are large as things happened earlier in Sylvie’s life and they happened later on in Loki’s life. 

Their personalities are even similar and but different at the same time because you can see that Loki doesn’t really plan on how he’s going to get to his end goal, he kinda just goes with the flow while Sylvie plans this shit in detail. Also Sylvie seems to be more serious about things while Loki jokes around and isn’t so serious (now this is what we have learned about Sylvie in episode three so far).

Now where I’m getting with this is, the TVA shows that the order of events in Loki’s life is what is supposed to happen in the Scared Timeline and not the order of events in Sylvie’s. 

Now a nexus event could’ve been created by Sylvie’s adoptive parents telling her she was adopted earlier and her mother dying or going away earlier than what was supposed to happen, but the way that Sylvie talks about her life is that she grew up with this knowledge. And so far its consistent that the TVA needs to show up within minutes, hours, or within the same day the nexus event took place in. And even if Sylvie grew up on another planet other than Asgard or even on Asgard where time can move differently than on Earth it wouldn’t make much of a difference as the TVA needs to show up close in time to when the nexus event happened and not years later where Sylvie would grow up with this knowledge which would cause a multiverse event. 

Now when I started this, it was to point out how Sylvie didn’t really seem like a Loki Variant due to the large time gaps in how key moments in Loki’s life happened happened later on than in Sylvie’s. At first I was thinking that Sylvie and Loki are connected some way but she may not be a Loki Variant, like she could’ve been from another universe, one that was destroyed by the Time-Keepers because at the time of the multiversal war, we don’t now how far into the future those six timelines were. Loki is a thousand years old or close to it, so those timelines could have already been that advanced and we could have 6 different versions of Loki’s that lived different lives but are still similar enough be like “Hey, that’s a Loki.” But as I got further into this analysis, I realized that was a reach, it could still happen, but its the most unlikely to me out of the theories I came up with.

My second theory was that Sylvie was caught by the TVA as a male version of Loki as they refer to her as “he”, but the moment she escaped, she changed into and became Sylvie. However that still doesn’t fully explain the differences in the order of events in her life compared to Loki’s.

Now my third theory and one of two on how I would love to see Sylvie’s back story play out. So what if when Sylvie’s mother died/left earlier in her life, she was told about being adopted within that same time frame. At first I thought, what if the TVA arrested her, but another thing I’ve noticed with the TVA and responding to nexus events is that the TVA only arrests the variant and not someone effected by the variant’s decisions as they didn’t arrest the child from 1549 France, the festival goers of 1985 Wisconsin, or the Gobi Desert natives in 2012, they solely went after the variant in each of those cases. So now there’s the possibility that Sylvie witnessed her parents (or parent) getting arrested by the TVA and that branch got reset. She could have escaped the reset somehow and is now seeking vengeance for her family, and could explain the “This isn’t about you.” line from the end of episode two.

My fourth theory and the second one I would love to see happen with Sylvie’s back story play is that somehow she ended up working for the TVA, got her memories suppressed like the other agents/hunters, and then ultimately found out about the memory suppression. This would explain how she doesn’t have very many memories of her mother just “blips of a dream” as she says in episode three without her mother dying or disappearing while she was at a young age and this will still allow for the order of events to play out how they should be in Sylvie’s life according to the Scared Timeline. And to explain how the topic of being told about her adoption by her parents could still happen with this, 2012 Loki asked Sylvie if they told her about the adoption, she says yes and then asks Loki the same question and his response is, “No. I mean, they did, eventually”. We know that Loki in the Scared Timeline eventually accepts his adoption and being an Odinson so Sylvie could’ve very well accepted this rather it was in the Scared Timeline or during her years of plotting the take down of the TVA.

But anyways these are just some thoughts I’ve had, my process of these thoughts and understanding this world, and my hope that they don’t let this be a huge plot hole because it has so much potential and shouldn’t be ignored. I know that this is a lot, its literally a weeks worth of thoughts I’ve had since the third episode, but thanks for staying this long for my spill if you did or if any of you did.

[necr0bvnny]

I Want To Get Better - Part 1

Pairing: Lady Loki x Original Female Character

Genres: Action, Adventure, Enemies To Friends To Lovers, Slow Burn

Content/Warnings: Needle injection, mention of child soldiers, mention of child deaths

Summary:

A few years after Jacklyne has gotten used to her new life among the Avengers, she's assigned to work with one of their greatest enemies, Loki Laufeyson/dottir. It turns out that because one of his children prefers the company of humans while the other one is a war criminal, Loki's father Odin has slipped into the Odinsleep, leaving her mother Frigga in charge of Asgard. Jacklyne can't imagine ever loving the woman enough to set her free after what she's done to the people of New York, but that's a mother’s love for you. It takes a mission going sideways for Jacklyne to begin to see the value in Loki's company and for Loki’s opinion of humans to gradually turn positive.

A/N: Hi! Loki in this story will be presenting mostly as a female cause. Im gay gjvhmv. Think more like comic Lady Loki, NOT Sylvie from the show. Also ngl the first like 2 chapters or so will be setting up Jacklyne’s character and backstory so sorry in advance about the exposition! I promise we’ll get to the gay stuff soon enough :’)

Link to AO3 post

————

September 1999

After some struggling, the two large men in black combat uniforms finally got their small yet surprisingly strong captive to sit down in the cold chair in the middle of the interrogation room. As they removed their hands from her the girl attempted to bite one of the men but failed, catching only empty air between her teeth. She rattled the oversized handcuffs on her wrists anxiously, growling when she finally realized that there was nothing she could do in this situation but wait and find out what these men had planned for her.

Her large teal eyes scanned the room, observing the odd honeycomb patterns on the walls and unsettlingly shiny table in front of her. Then her focus turned to the men, both tall, muscled and well armed with large rifles in hand. They stood behind her chair, statuesque with their cold eyes glaring down at her, almost daring her to try anything and see what happens. She huffed and turned back around, innocently dropping her bound hands onto the table to show that she would comply.

As if on cue, the door in front of the girl finally opened and in walked an older, fair-haired man with a suitcase. He bared an almost smug grin on his face which made the little one want to lunge forth and slash his mouth open, then see if he'd still smile so brightly. But knowing that would get her nowhere, she resisted and instead kept her dagger-like eyes locked onto him.

"Hello there. My name is Phil Coulson. Can you tell me yours?"

"I'm not telling you anything, puto." She finally spoke up, her little voice thick with a Spanish accent.

Phil ignored the insult which he immediately understood. He pointed at the logo on one of her arms which displayed a skull with six curling tentacles underneath. "So H.Y.D.R.A. uses children for espionage now? Do you understand how much danger you’re in?”

He didn’t intend for that to sound like a threat, but the girl took it as one anyway. “You’ll be in even worse danger if you kill me.”

Phil frowned at her assumption. Did she really think they were going to kill her just because she was a part of HYDRA? “We’re not going to kill you, we just want some answers.”

“Si, I’m sure that’s what you told my family before you slaughtered them!”

His brows furrowed slightly in confusion. “Your family?”

“You know what you did, S.H.I.E.L.D. scum. My brothers and sisters came just like me, and they never returned.”

Agent Coulson suddenly realized what she was talking about. There had recently been several break-ins into the headquarters and other minor bases of S.H.I.E.L.D..Some of the intruders were shot on sight while others were caught but killed themselves via cyanide tablets before they could be questioned. All the bodies wore green and black jumpsuits with the H.Y.D.R.A insignia on their arms. But the strange thing about all of them was that upon closer inspection, all of these intruders were just children between the ages of 8 to 10.

Judging by how this girl had a slightly different uniform with more armor and weapons on her, Phil assumed that within whatever program these kids were in, she must have been in a higher rank. This one knew how to use guns and put up a decent fight with the full grown, highly trained male guards before she was finally subdued and captured, so she was clearly more trained and experienced than the others.

“Ah, your brothers and sisters, right. The ones who failed where you almost succeeded. I must say, you’re clearly more capable than your siblings, but I know you didn’t just teach yourself. Can you tell me who trained you?”

“The best of the best soldiers at H.Y.D.R.A’s disposal. I could kill all of you right now if I wanted to.” She hissed.

Coulson smiled, unintimidated. “I’m sure if you could, you already would have.”

“I can and I will once I get these esposas off.” She rattled her handcuffs.

He ignored this and continued on with the questioning. “Tell me more about your ‘family’. Do you guys have a name?"

"You won't get anything from me. I will protect them until my last dying breath!"

The girl lunged forward, hopping up onto the table and going straight for Coulson but he quickly backed away. Before she could reach him, the guards jumped into action, both grabbing each of her arms.

"Please, calm down. We don't want to have to sedate you." Phil calmly pleaded.

One of the guards shouted out, "Stand down before this turns ugly!"

The girl continued kicking and screaming and growling like a feral kitten, baring her teeth and desperately trying to get out of the man's rough grips but to no avail. Phil begrudgingly placed the suitcase onto the table and opened it to reveal several syringes.

He took one of them out and displayed it in front of her face. "Please, I really don't want to do this."

"Hail H.Y.D.R.A!!"

Agent Coulson frowned, not at all proud of what he was about to do. Glancing up at the two guards behind the girl, he said, "Hold her still."

Suddenly she felt a sharp pinch in her inner elbow, followed by whatever liquid was inside the syringe rushing through her veins. After a few seconds, her muscles relaxed on their own and all her strength seemed to drain from her body. Once the guards felt her stop fighting, they cautiously let go of her and went back to their spots in the back of the room. Tears began forming in her eyes, overwhelmed by how completely helpless she felt. She lowered her head into her crossed arms on the table, heaving and sobbing to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry... Now let's try this again. What is your name?"

She didn't want to say anything, but something in her forced the words out of her mouth. "... J-87."

Agent Coulson smiled, though there was a deep sadness behind it. "Okay. Good. And how old are you, J-87?"

"… I'm 12."

"Can you tell me about your.. family? Your brothers and sisters?"

The girl choked out a whimper at the thought of them. "They're all dead. All 24 of them."

Phil hesitated, but after a moment of silence he couldn't help but lay a reassuring hand on J-87's back. At first she flinched away thinking he was going to hurt her as well, but after a few pets she calmed down and allowed him. She wasn't sure why she did, but it had been so long since someone had comforted her. It may have even been the first time ever. All she knew in that moment was that it suddenly made her relaxed and not want to cry anymore.

"It's okay… If you keep answering our questions, we can find you a brand new family. And a real name, all for you. Would you like that?"

“Mhm..” She whimpered out and nodded.

"Good. Did your family have a name?"

"They called us Project Ocelot…"

[imagine-loki]

Caught in his web, Chapter 39

TITLE: Caught in his web CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 39 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki is a crime lord, a very dangerous man in the city. He is owed money, but the man is unable to pay Loki back, so Loki takes his daughter as payment instead.  RATING: M

When the jet started to descend, Chloe was a little bit nervous again. Not sure what to expect. But it went smoother than she had thought it would and it wasn’t too bad. The pilot was good at his job and always did nice landings, that’s one of the reasons why Loki had hired him.

It was a short drive from the private runway to the dock where there was a small speed boat waiting for them.

The driver, Lucas, carried their bags from the car onto the boat and handed Loki the keys for said boat.

‘Have a great stay, Mr Laufeyson.’ He said politely with a bow of the head.

‘Thank you, Lucas. If you can be here to pick us up on Tuesday at two in the afternoon. I won’t have my mobile on, so any issues contact the house phone.’

‘Of course, Mr Laufeyson.’ He nodded with a smile.

Loki took Chloe’s hand and led her onto the boat. There were life jackets waiting for them, Loki made sure that Chloe got hers on first and that it was on securely.

‘Don’t want you falling into the sea.’ Loki was very focused while he tightened various straps, Chloe couldn’t help but stare at his beautiful face.

‘There we go.’ He said, pleased with her life jacket he smiled at her and cupped her cheek.

‘Thank you.’ She smiled back at him.

It made her feel warm and fuzzy inside how he was looking out for her. So attune to her health and safety.

It was exciting being on the speed boat, even though Loki didn’t make it go as fast as it could. They were in no rush so he took it easy over the waves, not wanting Chloe to get sea sick.

‘There it is.’ Loki grinned and pointed ahead of them.

There was a small island that was coming into view. Chloe’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open. She could see the beautiful looking villa just off the beach, surrounded by a few hills and some small forest areas. The villa stood out well because it had white walls with a lovely red colour slated roof, with plenty of large windows.

‘So there’s absolutely no one else on the island?’ She asked, struggling to believe that he actually owned the entire thing.

‘Not a soul. Apart from some birds.’ Loki chuckled.

‘Wow.’ She kept staring at the island as it started getting larger and larger. ‘And you said it was a small island!’

‘It is, in comparison to a lot of others.’ He grinned. ‘But I am glad you think otherwise.’

‘This is just insane.’ She shook her head, making Loki chuckle again. He enjoyed surprising her. And he was a man that was definitely full of surprises.

When they got to the beach, Loki jumped off the boat and held his hand out, helping Chloe off before then grabbing their bags. He tied the boat to a post further up the sand, making sure it wouldn’t get taken out to sea.

Chloe was already wandering slowly up the beach with her bag, taking it all in. Loki easily caught up with her and slid his arm around her waist, smiling down at her.

‘Do you like it?’ Though Loki could tell by the look on her face what the answer was.

‘I love it! It’s stunning.’ She grinned, her heart was racing with excitement.

Loki led her up towards the villa. It was up some steps and had a perfect view out to the ocean. You could just see mainland in the far distance.

As soon as Loki unlocked the villa and pushed the door open, Chloe rushed inside to take a look around. Loki watched in amusement, Chloe was like a kid in a candy shop as she rushed around all the rooms, ooo’ing and aah’ing at every room. Plus a swearword or two in shock when she saw the likes of the swimming pool outside that overlooked the beach, it was huge and had a lovely patio area next to it that also went undercover. There was a hot tub too and a large barbecue installed with stone built around it, so it blended in well.

‘Did you have this place built yourself or did you buy it like this?’ Chloe asked when Loki caught up with her after putting their bags in the master bedroom.

‘I had it built. When I bought the island I wanted a blank slate, so I could build my own home away from home, exactly as I wanted it.’ Loki draped his arm over her shoulder and guided her through to the kitchen.

‘It’s absolutely amazing. Really beautiful!’ Chloe said as Loki went and opened a secret looking cupboard, revealing an array of alcohol.

Chloe face-palmed at how well hidden, yet well stocked, the cupboard was. Loki just grinned at her and poured them both a drink.

With drinks in hand, Loki showed Chloe their room. Of course it had an en-suite and was very luxurious. She fished out her bikini, wanting to go for a swim as Loki had suggested they swim before drinking too much.

‘Who says you’re getting to wear a bikini?’ Loki growled, grabbing her wrist before she could make it to the bathroom to get changed.

‘What else would I wear in the pool?’ She knew what he was going to say, though.

‘One rule. No clothing of any kind is allowed in the pool.’ He wiggled his eyebrows and prised the bikini out of her hand, tossing it behind him onto the dresser.

Chloe opened her mouth, about to protest in worry of someone seeing. Then she remembered where they were. And she didn’t know what to say as a comeback to that.

Loki smirked in triumph when she couldn’t think of anything to say in response. He gripped her chin and kissed her, then stepped back and started removing his own clothes. ‘Come on, doll. Get naked.’

Chloe bit her lip and started taking off her clothes too. But as she took her dress off, she realised something…

‘SHIT!’

‘What’s wrong?’ Loki frowned, pausing with his trousers down around his ankles as he looked up at her, concerned.

‘I… I must have left my knickers on the plane! I forgot them! What if the cleaner finds them under my chair?’ Her eyes were wide in panic.

Loki threw his head back laughing. He finished removing his clothes, including his boxers, then stalked over to her. She tried her best to keep her eyes up on his, instead of looking down at his semi erection.

‘Don’t worry, doll. I’m sure the cleaners find much worse on other private jets.’ He chuckled, amused at how horrified she was. And he slyly unclasped her bra and pulled the straps down off her shoulders.

‘But… They’ll know it’s your jet…’

Loki flicked her bra to the floor, then cupped her face and kissed her forehead. ‘Relax, Chloe. Trust me, they’ll have seen worse. It’s just a company here in Greece anyway that deals with the cleaning on this end. The cleaners won’t know who the jet belongs to.’

He stepped away and bent over to pick up his trousers. Chloe was momentarily distracted at how amazing his ass was. She wanted to just bite it…

‘Besides.’ Loki’s voice pulled her from her thoughts as he stood up straight and turned around to her. ‘I wouldn’t leave these delightful garments behind.’ He grinned cheekily, holding up said knickers.

‘You fucker! You had them all along!’ She snarled and launched at him, making him laugh when she tried to wrestle him down, but he just stood like a marble column, laughing.

Loki wrapped his arms around her and threw her up over his shoulder, she just huffed in defeat. ‘You’re an ass!’

Loki chuckled and gave her bum a slap, making her yelp.

‘Behave, doll. Or I’ll redden this lovely behind of yours.’ He growled.

Chloe didn’t want to admit that the mere threat, and taster, had her clenching her thighs together a little, not entirely opposed to the idea. But with how powerful his swing could be when he wanted to, she decided against asking for it.

Loki carried her out to the pool. Without any warning or putting her down first, he just jumped straight into the deep end.

When they came above water, she couldn’t resist splashing at him and then swimming away while giggling.

‘Oh you are so asking for it!’ Loki called out and swam after her.

Chloe glanced over her shoulder but didn’t see him above water, she could just make out his form underneath. Coming after her like a shark. She squealed loudly and tried to swim faster, but Loki was a strong swimmer and managed to grab her ankle, hauling her back to him.

The two enjoyed their swim together. They mainly messed around, teasing one another. Loki was enjoying this playfully braver side of Chloe that was coming out. And Chloe was enjoying the calmer, playful side of Loki too. He just seemed a bit more relaxed as soon as they stepped onto the island. Though she wasn’t surprised really, considering he was basically on twenty-four seven at home.

But she was hopeful, perhaps being alone on an island with Loki wasn’t going to be such a scary thing after all.

[theparanormalperiodical]

The Real Story Behind Krampus (2017), And The 17 Other Terrifying Christmas Tales And Traditions You NEED To Know About

Christmas is a time for family, a time for laughter, and a time for drinking volumes of alcohol that make your cousins concerned about your emotional wellbeing.

But most importantly, it's a time for demons to hunt down children and stuff them full of straw and pebbles. No, I’m not talking about the Eastenders Christmas Special - I’m talking about the Christmas traditions they don’t put in Hallmark movies.

As Christmas has been celebrated for 2000 years, it has amassed a collation of equally terrifying traditions and monsters that only the dark corners of history could conjure up. 

Although confirmed by the Dickensian tradition of sharing ghost stories (see Matthew Mcconaughey movie - or failing that some old book about poverty in Victorian Britain), it seems we’ve forgotten the true terror behind the most wonderful time of the year!

So, as your favourite paranormal blogger, I’ve taken it upon myself to bring together everything creepy ‘bout Christmas. 

Today’s post is gonna take y’all through the mythical monsters you should be on the lookout for, plus the Christmas traditions that bare a dark, twisted backstory.  

Which is all of them.

Let’s get spooky! 

First, Let’s All About The Monsters Of Christmas

Hands up if you’ve watched Krampus (2017).

Here’s the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6cVyoMH4QE  

It might not be Love, Actually, nor will it ever score a set of great reviews, but it got everyone talking about the mythical creature titling the film. 

Need a summary?

This dark-comedy/horror film centres around a dysfunctional family at Christmas. When the youngest child loses faith in Santa, he rips up his letter to him, sending a signal to Krampus that he has lost his Christmas spirit and thus must be punished!

Okay, this film doesn’t fit the actual legend that well. But the kid does get dragged to hell - and unfortunately, that’s what sticks closest to the creature titling the film. 

On top of this, the movie features the classic mysterious European grandmother that has a story about the war (as a European I can confirm this). But her story isn’t about an air raid, or some long-gone past ruler; instead, it explains a twisted tale regarding the most famous companion of Father Christmas. 

That being said, it provides an introduction that only scratches the surface of the mythical creatures of Crimbo:

Krampus is the half-goat, half-demon creature that is often witnessed wandering ‘round with Santa Claus. Concieved in the pre-christian era in central europe, his aim of existence was to punish naughty children. 

“So, Santa provides for the nice kids, Krampus provides for the naughty kids? Got it.”

If only it was that simple.

Krampus’s family tree is more twisted than the British royal family - and has a similar collection of dodgy relatives:

Son of the Norse goddess, Hel (ruler of the underworld and the dead), Krampus is a Perchten, a race of beasts born to scare away Winter. Never heard of ‘em? Well, you’ve probably heard of his grandfather, then: Loki.

Given his famous hegemony, it follows that he is always believed to be the Horned God of the Witches, and sticks to a devilish image.

With a dark, hairy body, large fangs and a tongue hanging far below his bottom lip, beast-like is an understatement. Accessorising his frightful look is a grasp of birch branches or a whip, as well as a sack or basket (to put children in and take to hell or save for a quick drink and snack later), and chains.

However, the chains part is still subject to debate: some believe it is an attempt to bind the devil by the Catholic Church in attempt to control him, while others claim it is because Krampus is Santa’s slave.

This directly relates to the position of Krampus and his fellow monsters - they are all believed to be Santa’s companions. 

So, we know who Krampus is. But did you know he has a whole night devoted to him?

Krampusnacht falls on the 6th December, a day from which people put on masks and get drunk, scaring kids. Alternatively, you can dress up and hand out coal, mirroring the Krampus spirit! Nevertheless, both serve as a reminder to children not to be naughty, as does the bundle of golden birch branches you can have in your house. 

Now, who’s ready to get their feminist on?

Frau Perchta is the female counterpart of Krampus. 

This goddess-monster goes about giving good kids silver coins, and giving naughty kids, uh, well, death.

She’d slice ‘em open, and stuff ‘em full of straw and pebbles. But her backstory goes much further than simply murdering children: as she oversees spinning as a part of the 12 days of Christmas, she focuses on people that get their work done.

And if you slack? Then you gon’ get murdered. 

Given her name, it’s obvious that like Krampus, she’s a beast-like creature. But her animalistic tropes only go so far as her feet - just like Krampus’ single goat hoof, she has a swan foot. 

“So, she’s a swan?”

Nope - she’s either regarded as a beautiful young woman, or an old crone. 

Classic Patriarchy. 

Next up is another animal, but this time, it comes in the form of a cat. Unfortunately, the Yule Cat is less Instagram, and more deadly. Yep - this Icelandic beast eats the kids that fail to complete their chores before Christmas. 

Just like Frau Perchta, it can be traced back to farmers attempting to scare their workers into getting shizz done. If they hadn’t processed the autumn wool, they’d be eaten by the cat. If they had, they’d receive new clothes.

You’d better be thankful for those socks, then!

But it turns out the Yule Cat isn’t the only monster from Iceland. In fact, he’s actually the pet of a family of ferocious Christmas beasts!

Gryla and Leppaludi are a couple hell-bent on detecting naughty children. Gryla, the matriarch of this famalam - is a Norse giantess, who wanders round each and every village in iceland. Once she’s found said children, she eats them. 

Often she is described as a beggar, asking for parents to turn over their disobedient children so she can chuck ‘em in her sack, and add them to her signature stew!

Her husband - well, third husband but who’s judging - Leppaludi, is what the Daily Mail would label a benefit-scrounger as he hangs about in their cave all day. On top of this is their 12 children: The Yule Lads.

(God, this has a Daily Mail story written all over it.)

Each lad has a different, um, quirk.

One harasses sheep. One steels tupperware - no, seriously, he makes a point of stealing pots with lids. And another steals candles from children.

So that’s Iceland covered - let’s head back to continental Europe!

Hans Trapp is our next contender for the ultimate creep of Christmas. Trapp is a resident of Alsace-Lorraine, and comes from near the border of France and Germany. But what’s really terrifying about this monster is that he once existed. 

Hans Von Trotha was a French Knight and man of particular political distinction. From his feuds with the church, to his ever-roaming spirit after he died, the following myth was by no means a random creation. However, the backstory to Hans Trapp took a bit of a detour from his past:

Trapp was reportedly a Satanist who would kill children. Yeah, you can see a theme here…

This rich, greedy man was excommunicated by the church, and then exiled to the forest where he would hunt children. Well, he would until struck by a bolt of lightning sent by God. But despite his rather dark past, his backstory is less really-demonic, more redemptive.

A bit like Krampus, he seeks to remind kids to be virtuous, teaming up with St. Nicholas to ensure children would be nice. 

Next is Romanian Werewolves. 

Yep, that’s plural. 

Sure, these man-beasts show up during the full moon, but also makes a point of unleashing their true forms at Christmas. This has merged with caroling in Romania - dressing up as animals and pissing off people busy having a cheeky Baileys rather than see their family is a common occurrence there.

Oh, and they go around and tell you not to have sex.

No, seriously, you aren’t allowed to have sex on Christmas Eve cause Jesus or somethin’. 

The other Christmas mythical creatures include:

Le Pere Fouettard, some fella who tags along with St. Nick, delivering lumps of coal to naughty kids. Well, when he’s not beating them up, that is!

Knecht Ruprecht joins Santa on his rounds too, but he isn’t like Pere, don’t worry! He kidnaps children, instead.

Next up is Zwarte Piet, one of Santa’s helpers who listens at the chimney of family homes to deduce if kids have been naughty or nice. Guys, we got a wholesome helper! Wait - people dress up in blackface to celebrate him?

I think we can all agree that racism is far scarier than anything else on this list…

Lastly, we have Belsnickel. And don’t worry, there’s no racism here. This bloke clad in fur and random clothes asks kids if they’ve been naughty or nice during the year.

Let’s Talk About The Terrifying Traditions

Well, we did it, guys! 

We made it through the monsters behind a Merry Christmas. 

And you can rest easy knowing these are all mythical creatures that can add a smidge of spook to your Christmas. But now it’s time to discuss the spooky side to the traditions we pull out of the attic year-upon-year.

So, no, these aren’t based on myths or religion - its based on historical fact!

Great.

Anyways:

If there’s one thing that defines Christmas - and is currently crippling my bank account - its gift giving.

Thinking of giving someone scissors for the most wonderful time of the year? It will literally cut your friendship or relationship in two. And shoes? The receiver of your gift will metaphorically walk away from your relationship. 

But if you’re looking for a more, uh, positive gift, a wallet or purse should be on your shopping list, instead. 

Wallets with money in them are believed to ward off demons, ghosts, and all other scary things.

Another creepy Christmas fact is the historical origins of mince pies. As a Brit, seeing Americans attempt to comprehend mince pies always figures as a solid meme. But the origin of it doesn’t steer too far from ‘Murican attempts to replicate this Christmas treat.

Back in the 16th century, cannibals would add human meat to pies, selling it off as actual meat. Oh, and this parallels some vague rumour of Santa being a cannibal. Basics, a holy man told him to give gifts to kids instead of eating them. 

In some strange and convoluted way this somehow chocks up to mincemeat now insinuating that there is no meat in there, instead.

*shrugs*

Speaking of tasty treats, why not make sure you stick to the rule of the Baker’s Dozen at Christmas?

When bakers would make batches, they would provide 13 of something instead of a dozen in case something turned out wrong. But they would also provide an extra roll, or a bun, at Christmas!

It’s for that reason that on the 12th day of Christmas, you have to take down your Christmas tree. Fail to do so? You’re gonna have to keep it up all year, then. It’s a mouldy pine tree, or its bad luck.

Our next tradition stakes it claim as the twisting of a Crimbo icon: it’s Santa Claus, himself.

But this time, he takes on an urban legend that I’m sure many actually believe: understandably, ‘santa’ can be traced to ‘satan’, as if it is the unholy being himself but in disguise. And ‘claus’? It can be translated to ‘hoof claws’, a running theme we see with the monsters like Krampus. 

So, could it be the devil in disguise?

Satan aside, who else likes trooping up to midnight mass and singing about the JC?

Well Christmas carols - and even carolling itself - actually sticks to a relatively dark past. Take Good King Wenceslas - this bloke let in peasants and encouraged them to join his bountiful feast! 

Unfortunately, his charitable efforts were not rewarded. He was stabbed with a lance repeatedly outside a church upon his own brother’s orders, and was then dismembered.

Yikes.

Historically, carollers would partake in similarly violent activities, demanding food and drink from their audience. Heck, they would even so so far as to start attacking, raping, and destroying their property! 

Guess it wasn’t a very Silent Night, then…

Our penultimate tradition is that of the Nutcracker: Whether you’re watching it, or using it to have a Christmas-specific nibble, there’s no doubt that this is pretty popular image of the festive season. 

But - and it’s a big ol’ ‘but’ - it’s based on a truly terrifying story.

No, there’s no ghosts, no ghouls, and certainly no demons. But there is a child marriage.

The story goes that a girl, Marie, sees a nutcracker come to life. Her Grandfather than launches into this story of how men can be cursed with the ugliness of a nutcracker. She replies by saying she’d marry one no matter how they looked.

She is then whisked away into a magical world from which she marries a nutcracker. 

This all goes down whilst she is 8 years old. 

Our final tradition of terror is less about the abuse of young girls, and more about evil beings breaking into your house. Merry Christmas?

See, you’d think that people coming down your chimney is reserved for one bloke in particular, but it turns out that European tales of malicious spirits taking the same route is a common tale frequently told. 

Belsnickel does the same, as do Greek goblins in order to terrorise the residents of the house.

So - What’s Your Verdict?

Which tradition left you shook?

And what Christmas film are you now going to watch to try and wipe this from your brain?

Be sure to hit follow to see a real spooky story tous les jours (everyday for the unsophisticated among us)!

At this point, I would tell you to have a Merry Christmas, but I think a safe one where, you know, you don’t get dragged to hell by Krampus, is best. 

[veliseraptor]

2019 Fanfiction Round-Up

I’ve done one of these every year since 2016, so here we are again. At this point I’d feel weird if I didn’t do it, even if it takes a long ass time to do.

Total Year-Long Wordcount: Here as of 8:20 PM, 421,602 words - which includes some essays and original fiction but is, by and large, mostly fic. 

If you’re curious, that’s 35,133.5 average words per month, and 1,155 words per day. The month I wrote most was 48,006 words (January) and the least was 21,550 (October). I may go into more stats later to compare to my 2017/2018 spreadsheet, because that’s the kind of loser I am.

This year I wrote and posted: This isn’t exact, because it includes chapters of things I wrote as separate fics, but probably something around 60 fics. 

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? 

Less, by a substantial margin. There are a lot of potential reasons for this (a new job that takes a lot more energy and time, me making a concerted effort to socialize more, taking on more difficult projects that require more time/work/effort, a two month horrendous depressive episode) but I’m trying to tell myself that it doesn’t matter why, and it’s totally fine that my total amount written doesn’t match recent years’. Over 400,000 words is still a lot of writing.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? 

This was a hard year, so I’m going to be self-indulgent and pick a few. I remain really, really proud of the fact that I wrote gather frankincense at all, and pretty proud of how it turned out also. good lord turned his back on me was one that I wrote basically all in one go, and I was really pleased with the Natasha POV and getting to write in her voice - I do that shockingly rarely, and haven’t in a while. I really liked both writing that fic and the arc of it - what it did as a story. 

Finally, continuing with the trend of “small fandom fic” which...I wrote a substantial amount of small-fandom fic this year, which pleases me - how this grace thing works. It was in the works for a long, long time and finally was finished this year - it’s the (for lack of a better word) softest Doctrine of Labyrinths fic I’ve written, and quite possibly ever will write. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I wrote in two different fandoms that I hadn’t written in before or hadn’t written for years. Okay, in fairness I did some Doctrine of Labyrinths writing last year, but this year was really the bulk of the recent writing I’ve done for it. Writing for Lymond was a substantially bigger risk. Glad I did it, and I learned that I could do it, but...

I wrote a fic for someone else in second person, which was certainly a risk in a different way.

Overall...I learned that while I can write in first person still, I deeply prefer both third and second person overall. One of those isn’t surprising; the fact that I’ve come to actually really like second person sometimes is more so. 

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year: 

As usual, excluding my multichapter stuff because that skews results a lot - by hits it was how the dead walk; by kudos it was Seams and Scars, and by both comment threads and bookmarks it was Mirror, Mirror. All interesting! Seams and Scars is the most surprising to me, but also pleasing considering how goddamn long that fic took me to write (I’m so glad I finally finished it this year).

Most fun story to write: 

Five Hundred Ways to Discorporate a Demon. Aka the most light-hearted “repetitive character death” fic I’ve ever written. It was just...writing Good Omens fic this year in general was a lot of fun. It’s a departure from my usual voice, and my usual wheelhouse, but probably because of that was really enjoyable to explore. Though in a weird way good lord turned his back on me was also a lot of fun, in the sense of...it was one of those fics that was easy for me to write. It came out smooth and in a way that I liked basically right off the bat, which is rare and a great feeling when it happens.

Story with the single sexiest moment: 

This was kind of a challenging one, actually, because what I find sexy sort of fluctuates based on what I’m in the mood for at the time, but I might go with the sex scene in The Waxing Moon, partly because, as I discovered writing both that fic and An Ever Expanding Circle, I apparently find cocky Thor really sexy. I sort of resent this. (So does Loki.)

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: 

Yeah, I’m going to go with no good doing what I’m told, aka the one where I had a bunch of existential angst about “is this too much? am I going too far?” which...yeah, is always a sign of something considering how high my bar for myself has gotten.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: 

I have a hard time with this question every year. In some way, every story I write shifts my understanding of the characters, or at least deepens it. I guess maybe After the Fire - I dug into Curufin’s head more there than I have in a long time, and since I last did my understanding of him has changed generally. This fic developed more of that changing understanding.

Hardest story to write: 

The Compassion of the Wicked. Even more than gather frankincense, that fic fought me, to the mat, and almost won a number of times. Writing the sex in it was an adventure - I think I noted when I finished it that this is possibly the least explicit fic with explicit sex that I’ve written. Also possibly required the most research, and by “required” I mean “I chose this.” And writing Joleta was...it took me some doing to figure out how to write her, which surprised me a little. 

Anyway, the whole thing was just. A whole barrel of struggle. I’m pretty pleased with the end result, but yeesh.

Biggest Disappointment: 

As usual, in myself, for not working more on my WIPs and not finishing we live until we die. I wanted that to happen this year, I really did, and while I suppose it’s not surprising it didn’t (there was a lot of planning that needed to happen, and continued to need to happen), I’m still disappointed. 

Biggest Surprise: 

Other than “the fact that I wrote Lymond fic at all” and “the fact that people actually read the Lymond fic I wrote”? Probably the continued and aggressive expansion of the Where the Devil Don’t Go verse. I thought it was over after I wrote drown my woes in a lake of fire but then it turned out that there were (checks) five more installments I was going to write, and two more in the works, and one other that is on Tumblr but not cross-posted. 

I did not see that coming at all.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: 

I never really know how to answer this question. I guess sometimes there is an obvious one, usually meaning “Jesus, Lise, how fucked up can you get” and in that sense it would definitely be no good doing what I’m told, but...I actually think in some ways it might be how the dead walk. It isn’t...exactly the same as my issues, but there are some ways in which it aligns with them in ways that are different from the ones I usually work with when I’m writing Loki.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

1. The first thing that Felix noticed about Malkar was his hands. (The Anvil and the Chain)

2. The moment he was left alone, Maeglin stumbled to his feet, untethered the nearest horse, and set off back toward the smoke and flame still visible on the horizon. (how should I begin)

3. For the first month and a half after Rocket’s friends arrived on Midgard, along with the remains of Asgard’s population, Loki avoided Gamora with the skill and determination of a mouse evading a fox. (came through the jaws of Death)

4. In the summer of the Year of Our Lord 1000, there was a false alarm, brought about by millennial fever both Up and Downstairs, that the Apocalypse was imminent. (Mercy)

5. A long while ago Loki had read, in a book that was now ash, about the formation of storms. (we haven’t slept in years)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

1. I was lying on my stomach with shackles on my wrists and ankles and the water was rising. Someone, somewhere, was crying. It might have been a ghost. It might have been me. (As I breathe, he burns my lungs like fever)

2. Like my fear of water, fear of Malkar ran in my blood, and was as much a part of me. (The Road to Mourning)

3. “I am not in the mood for indulgence. Is there a purpose to this pageantry, o my Pasha?”

“Save that it is my pleasure?” Gabriel regarded him with a touch of amusement. “You would rather I tied you to a whipping post and had you flogged?”

“You would gain marks for consistency,” Lymond said. (gather frankincense)

4. “Because you are the flaw. You are the fault along which the stone splits. You are what is wrong.” (Mirror, Mirror)

5. “Would you rather I were?” Loki said, and there was something soft and vicious in his voice even with the lingering rasp that made the hair on the back of Clint’s neck all stand on end. “I think not. I am aware that you do not want me here. No doubt you would rather have Thor. That is fine; I would rather you had Thor, too. Don’t think I am not aware of the long and manifold list of my failures. That does not mean I want them enumerated to me by you.” (the enemy of my enemy)

6. “I am too beautiful to die,” Celegorm said with confidence.

But you are going to, Curufin thought. We all are. Condemned as surely as if we were Secondborn. Maybe not now, but... He held his tongue and simply said, “oh, naturally.” Celegorm wheezed a laugh and closed his eyes again. (After the Fire)

7. And yet he misses Thor. No, that is wrong: saying he misses Thor is as inadequate as it would be to say that he misses breathing. He is that central, that vital, that involuntary.

If anyone asked, Loki thinks he would tell them that was why he was running. To prove that he can. (These Vagabond Shoes)

8. The smile, when it came, was sharp. “O Castitas,” Lymond said, “Mater et Virgo, extingue carnales concupiscentias! But enough. For whom this mummer’s show? Do we not know each other better now? For certainly I have known flesh of your flesh, blood of your blood... and she drew mine.” (The Compassion of the Wicked)

9. There was a way Thor had of saying things that made them inarguable. Loki had no idea how he did it - it was as though he spoke the words and it just was, like the world bent itself to suit what he said, only it bent itself so it was as though it had always been true. Loki had always found it maddening. (Speak every man the truth)

10. Everyone got a bit twitchy in the 1300s. People started getting suspicious of the dark glasses. They seemed to think Crowley was hiding something, which he was, but that wasn’t any of their business. (Five Hundred Ways to Discorporate a Demon)

11. This was what the Grandmaster did. He showed you a door, or what looked like a door, and then yanked you back just when it seemed to be in reach. Or proved that it had never been there at all, and what had you been thinking to try to get away, anyway, after everything he’d done for you? (preacher man won’t cut no slack)

12. “You can’t help me,” Loki said, breathless. “There is nothing left to help.”

“That isn’t true,” Thor said weakly. “You are here, aren’t you?”

“Here,” Loki said. “Yes. But I am - I am not myself. I am a cobbled together patchwork of Odin’s making and the Grandmaster’s making and the making of the Void. And yours.” All the feeling had gone from his voice. “You want your brother back. But that person doesn’t exist. If he ever did.” (where I make my home)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

There are a lot of pieces from Mirror, Mirror that I would love to see, but maybe especially the one where Loki is looking at his reflection and notices how sick he appears, when the shadow appears behind him.

Gabriel making Lymond kneel in gather frankincense. Look, I am who I am.

Thor sitting next to ghost!Loki from it slips between my fingers now.

Curufin kneeling (SHUT UP) in front of Finrod with wounded Celegorm in his arms from After the Fire. It could be very Pieta. There’s a lot going on there. I just want it.

Steve and Loki at the top of the waterfall from into the light of a dark black night, just before Loki dives over.

Fic-writing goals for 2020:

Finish we live until we die. This is probably the biggest, most concrete one on my list. 

Write! More! Lymond fic! I have three ideas and I really like all of them - I just need to stop having staring contests and psyching myself out and actually do the writing.

Whittle that WIP list down to at least under 70. Under 65 would be even better.

That’s really all. I’m keeping them modest. Also here is “try to chill out, a little, about your pathological productivity problem” but that’s an ongoing project that maybe doesn’t count for the spirit of this question.

[lokis-daughter-fic]

Loki’s Daughter Chapter 1: Saved

Originally written for imagine-loki, link to imagine below.

Imagine Avengers: Endgame AU Loki that gets away with tesseract has been using it to explore the universe. During his adventures, he comes across a little girl with developing but oppressed magical abilities. Intrigued (and subconsciously lonely) Loki keeps her around.

In his efforts to learn more about the tesseract and keep it away from prying hands, Loki keeps in constant movement; never staying in one place for too long. So, they travel to new worlds far beyond the Nine Realms. The young girl is in awe at the beauty of the universe and thrives with Loki. Through a series of events, the two grow closer and Loki begins to feel what he would assume is affection for the little girl.

TITLE: Loki’s Daughter CHAPTER/ONE SHOT:

Chapter One: Saved AUTHOR: traveling-classicist ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Avengers: Endgame AU Loki that gets away with tesseract has been using it to explore the universe. During his adventures, he comes across a little girl with developing but oppressed magical abilities. Intrigued (and subconsciously lonely) Loki keeps her around.

AO3 LINK: Loki’s Daughter RATING: Mature for possible triggering content NOTES/WARNINGS:

Trigger warnings:

-Child slavery (this topic is being explored throughout the story)

Nota bene: I promise I’m not making Loki enslave any children, that’s not our guy

-Mental illness including mentions of schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety

-Mentions of past torture and abuse: physical, emotional, and mental

Notes:

I know these are strong triggers for some people and I fully respect you. There will also be lots of fluff and love and happiness in this story but as I say, these more difficult and triggering topics are being explored.

           With the hype for the Loki series starting to build, I’m feeling inspired. So, I’m going to give it a go.

           Also I’m not new to Tumblr by any means but I’m not super active in posting or reblogging even on my own account and I don’t know all the ins and outs of primary vs secondary blogs and blah, blah, blah… I mostly just lurk about in your likes and look at beautiful pictures of Tom/Loki on here… but I made a secondary blog for this fic where I’ll also be posting the chapters, in addition to here, and may start to open up some discussion if it gains any traction. So feel free to visit https://lokis-daughter-fic.tumblr.com/ and give it a like or follow or whatever. God, I feel old. I really need to just read up on this shit. There’s also an AO3 for the fic too if you prefer reading it on there.

           Okay, I think that’s everything. Anyways, if you read through my rambling notes: thanks, otherwise, enjoy what I hope will be a very lengthy, multi-chapter fic! I have lots of adventures in store for Loki and my little OC, Kuna.

Chapter 1: Saved

Loki walked through the giant forest. These were some of the tallest trees he had ever seen, reaching hundreds of feet into the sky. The canopy seemed distant but its thick leaves blocked out most of the sunlight to the ground. Occasionally, he would hear the sound of some creature calling out in the branches high above him. The canopy dampened the sound all around, making the animal calls sound further off than they truly were.

           He stopped, now and then, to admire the massive trunks of the reddish brown trees. Some of them would likely take a whole minute to walk around. Their roots, as thick as normal sized trees, dug deep beneath him. He wondered how deep they would have to go to hold up such large trees. He thought the planet’s crust must be made up of hundreds of thousands of miles of tree roots.

A light breeze made it’s way through the forest, shaking the leaves on the branches of the trees. Loki imagined you could cover an entire Asgardian skiff with one leaf. He imagined what would happen if one fell on him, and quickly continued walking. Indeed, the forest floor was littered with gigantic leaves and debris from the canopy world above. He thought this is what an ant must feel like, so small in a world far too big.

           Wanting a better vantage point, he used the tesseract’s energy to transport himself to a branch high above. He materialized on the branch but quickly dropped to his knees. Up here, he could feel the tree gently swaying. But a gentle sway to behemoth tree was a dizzying ride to a tiny ant. He sat there a moment, trying to acclimate himself to the new altitude and his tree legs. Before long, he shook his head in disbelief at his dizziness and stood. Feeling slightly more stable, he walked out on the branch, testing his fate. He blinked lazily.

           “Not so bad,” he mused. Afterall, even if he did fall, he could simply use the tesseract’s energy to teleport himself safely to the ground or wherever he wanted. In fact, the thought made him wonder what more he could do with this energy here.

He took off in a fast sprint down the branch at full speed. As the branch began to thin, he leapt with all his strength into the air. In a flash of blue, he disappeared, reappearing again mid-air but hundreds of feet in front of where he had been, landing gracefully on the branch of the next tree over. He laughed, looking back at the tree he had just leapt from. Amused by his maneuver, he took out the tesseract from his pocket and flipped the cube in his hand.

           “Not bad at all,” he said. “I think I’ll use that.”

           Suddenly, the tree shook violently. Loki lost his balance and fell. The tesseract took two light bounces on the branch before falling towards the ground far, far below.

“Ah!” Loki screamed and leapt of the branch after it in an instant.

The wind whipped through his hair and made his eyes water, the ground flying up at him. Through the tears, he nearly lost the little blue spec of the cube falling below him. He reached out and caught it, instantly teleporting himself at a far safer speed to the ground. He fell only a foot onto the forest floor and let out a tremendous sigh of relief. He held up the glowing cube in front of his face.

           “We are not doing that again,” he panted.

Suddenly, a horrendous howl wrenched him up from his place on the ground. A massive beast roared at him from the trunk of the tree. It was hunched over, putting its weight onto its knuckles. Sharp claws as long as Loki’s leg, curled upwards from its paws. Its back was covered in a light brown fur cast with gray stripes while its belly lay bare, a dark shade of brown. The head of the beast was encased in a thick, brown armor, reminiscent of a horn but the shape of a battering ram that protruded from its skull.

Loki made a quick glance up at the tree and let out a sharp breath. There was a massive divot in the tree’s trunk. Splinters hung all about the outsides of the hollow dent. Dark sap had begun to ooze from the center of the wound.

           “Oh,” Loki whispered, letting out an exasperated laugh at the creature. “So, you caused the treequake, then?”

           The monster roared in response and lunged for him. Loki scrambled to his feet, tesseract in hand, dirt and debris flying up from the ground as he regained himself. He tore off, away from the beast as fast as he could. Still out of breath from the fall, his head felt like it was spinning. He could hear the creature pounding towards him. It was massive, there was no way he could outrun it.

           He looked up quickly and saw he was fast approaching a massive tree root that stood nearly twenty feet above his head. He groaned and made a sharp turn, following the root’s path. The beast behind him slammed into the tree root. The noise sounded like an explosion, echoing through the forest. The beast quickly regained itself, shaking its head for a moment, before chargeing towards Loki again. Frantic as he ran, Loki looked for a way out. The light glinted off the cube still in his hand and if he wasn’t running for his life, he would have smacked himself.

“What am I doing?” he exclaimed.

           In front of him, he spotted a large arch formed by another tree root dipping back into the ground. He lengthened his stride. He could practically feel the beast’s breath on his back. Using the tesseract’s energy, he teleported through the arch and safely on to the other side.

           The beast lowered its head and slammed into the archway at full tilt. The ground shook under Loki’s feet as another thunderous explosion rang out around the forest. Only the head and shoulders of the beast had made it through the other side of the archway. It tried to stand up again but was firmly stuck between the root and the ground. Loki laughed, surprised but relieved that it had worked.

           “I’m just going to leave you there,” he said. The creature’s nostrils flared and it let out another deafening roar. Loki winced at the sound. “Yes, you’re very loud,” he told it. “I’m sure that will help you out of there. Just keep trying,” he mocked it as he teleported a distance away.

           Leaving the monster safely behind him, he looked down at the tesseract again. He liked the way it shimmered in his hand. He quickly made it disappear again into his pocket before anything else bad happened to him or it.

He looked up at the trees again and thought of what he had been trying before he was rudely interrupted by the beast. He summoned the tesseract’s energy and leapt far up onto the side of a tree. He caught himself with his dagger, digging it in deep into the bark. After steadying himself a moment, he located another tree about a hundred yards off. He focused on it and pushed off the tree he hung from, disappearing a moment before reappearing a few feet beside the other tree, midair. He dug his dagger in hard on the bark and slid a few feet down. Amused by this game, he continued jumping between the trees using the energy of the space stone.

As he played this fun game, he thought he heard a sound in the distance. He stopped, clinging onto the side of one of the trees. He found a good foothold and listened, trying to locate the direction of the sound. He truly hoped that thing from before could not track him.

A child’s scream rang out to Loki’s left. He sighed in relief at the sound. At least it wasn’t the monster. Slightly intrigued and growing bored and tired of his game, he teleported in the direction of the screams. Where before, the ground and large trunks of the trees had dampened the noise within the forest, now he could hear the child’s screaming echoing for what sounded like miles.

The ground beneath his feet gave way from dirt, moss, and decaying giant leaves, to compact clay and stone. He pushed aside a the fronds of a large bush and stepped out into a clearing. Or at least, what he thought was a clearing. Upon further examination, the sudden lack of trees was caused by a large, rocky ravine. He looked one way down the gorge and then the other. It seemed to stretch for miles in both directions. On the other side, the trees started up once more, rising high into the sky. Another scream rang out. It sounded like it was coming from inside the ravine at the far end to his left.

Loki followed the sound of the screams along the edge of the gorge. Once in a while, he would lean out over the edge to peer down to the bottom. Vines covered in thick moss had somehow found their way to good grips on the other side of the gorge. They crisscrossed up and down the ravine. The bottom was quite dark. It probably rarely saw any sunlight what with the canopy still covering a majority of the sky above. At some places, the ravine narrowed to a length Loki could easily jump across if he wanted. At others, the cliff faces pulled away from each other leaving close a hundred meters between them.

As he walked he began to feel a slight vibration in his own aura. He stopped in his tracks. There was another magical being nearby. A rather powerful magical being by the shimmering sensation he felt in his aura.

He had become adept in sensing the magic of others. Frigga had taught him to develop these senses until they were highly acute. He stood for a moment, focusing on this sensation. The vibration was quickly followed by a severe disturbance, like static electricity. He shook his head, alarmed by the feeling. He had never felt anything in his aura like this before.

He started off again, his interest piqued. He was getting closer to the screams, now. He was also approaching what he assumed was the end of the gorge from the wall of trees looming before him. He returned to the underbrush and crouched low. Two more voices sounded down the ravine. Loki could not make out what they were saying but he could tell there were at least two men and a child at the end of the ravine. He crept closer, silently making his way through the brush, when he spotted a rather peculiar scene.

Two men stood either side of a small crane-like mechanism hanging out over the edge of the ravine. A long chain swung down out of Loki’s view. A child screamed from below the ledge. They had built a rough camp with debris from the forest floor. A small cart held a few crates and barrels. A ramshackle shelter was propped up with a large bit of bark from one of the giant trees. An extinguished firepit with an old spit lay a few feet away.

One man braced himself on the crane and kicked the chain with his boot, making it swing. “Scream louder, girly,” he shouted down. “I don’t think they can hear you!”

In his hand, the man held aloft a long necked, primitive-looking gun. He and his companion laughed as the chain swayed back and forth and even louder screams rang up from below. Loki was about to stand when he heard a far more chilling sound. Somewhere at the bottom of the gorge, a guttural roar rose up and then another. Two creatures. Loki lowered himself back down. They weren’t the monster from before but they surely sounded monstrous.

           “Ha!” the other man exclaimed. “Keep doing that, girl. They like it when you wriggle around like that.”

           “Hear they come,” the first man said.

           His friend picked up his gun which had been leaning up against the crane. They aimed over the side of the cliff. The girl was still screaming from the end of the chain. The two men took their time to find the right sight down to their prey.

Two loud bangs echoed down through the ravine along with the terrified shriek of the girl below. The two men looked down the gorge, following the echo that seemed to go on for miles. The whole forest seemed to have fallen silent. The pair looked back at each other and high fived.

           “Oh, that was a good one!” the man said, appearing to rejoice in the disruption they’d caused to the balance.

           They both looked down over the edge again.

           “Did you get hit, girly?” one asked.

           Silence but the girl must have made some sort of indication as the man quickly followed up with a grunt: “Good.”

           The other man took hold of a large push crank on the crane and began to turn it, hoisting up the chain. A small girl, no more than five, appeared above the ledge, wrapped in tight chains. The man grabbed the chain and pulled it in. It still extended below and, from the tension, Loki could see there was still something heavy at the bottom. He unhooked the girl from the larger chain and she fell onto the ground in heap, her restraints clanging against each other. Her chest was heaving with effort. Her legs and feet kicked, treading ground and pushing her a bit further from the ledge. She came to rest at the base of the crane but went no further. Her body trembled and she cried quietly.

           The man continued to crank the chain upwards. Loki could then see their haul. In a massive net made of metal, two large beasts lay tangled up with one another. The two men heaved against the crane, turning it to pull the net over the ledge. One kicked the crank and the net fell onto the ground, splaying open. They separated the two creatures; large cat-like animals with deadly looking fangs and claws.

           Loki chose this moment to emerge from the undergrowth. “What an ingenious set up you’ve got here,” Loki said, startling the men from their work.

“What in the hells? Where’d you come from?” the one man asked, whipping around.

“They like live bait, do they?” Loki gestured towards the girl, ignoring the man’s question.

The men laughed, happy to oblige the stranger’s requests if it meant harassing the girl more.

“Little girl’s their favorite thing to eat!” the other said, kicking the scared child in the stomach. She coughed and slumped over againi, sobbing.

“You’ll have to excuse my ignorance - I’m not from around here – but what are these creatures?” Loki continued, pointing at the two beasts they’d killed.

“You ain’t never seen kapka before?” the first man exclaimed.

“Oh, they’re vicious beasts, aren’t they?” the other began. He turned towards the little girl, nudging her with the barrel of his weapon, teasing her. “They move like giant cats but got the scales of dragons! See them claws, they can rip you to shreds in seconds. But that’s not how they like to kill.”

"No?” Loki asked, sensing this was the response he wanted.

“Nah. They’re evil bastards, they are. Instead, they’ll tear you down and sink those big ol’ fangs into ya! That way, they inject their toxic poison–”

“Venom…” Loki corrected him.

“What?”

“Nothing. Please, continue.”

The man’s eyes narrowed on the stranger but he went on, “They inject their - venom - into ya and that paralyzes your whole body. You’d think they’d kill ya then, right?”

“I assume the answer’s no?”

“Wrong! What, wait. No! Right! They don’t eat you right away! Instead they tear off bits and pieces of you. Not enough to bleed you out and kill you but enough to feel all that pain. ‘Cause on top of that para-lie-sis–”

“Paralysis…” Loki corrected him, again.

“What?”

“Nothing. Please, do go on.”

“On top of that - paralysis, that venom makes your bleeding stop quick too,” the man continued.

"Really? How interesting.”

“It’s the worst way to die in all the worlds. Perfect for this little shit right here, that’s for sure!” the other man said, giving the girl another sharp kick, that sent her onto her back.

“I’d treat your bait better if you want it to stay alive,” Loki said.

"What? Her? She was made for this, weren’t ya?” the man said, grabbing her chain and yanking on it. The little girl nodded frantically, willing to answer any question that would make him stop.

“Oh, so she’s your daughter, then?” Loki asked.

“Hells no! She’s a slave, you moron.”

“Is that right?”

“It’s plain easy to get them,” the other interjected.

"Hmm. And so, what is it that you do with these creatures? Certainly not eat them?” Loki continued.

"Hells no! You can’t eat them. They’d be all tough and chewy anyways, not to mention the - venom.”

“No instead, we sell them for their - venom. You make good darts from it,” the other continued.

“The blood’s valuable too. The best makers can turn it into powerful healing potions!”

“Extraordinary,” Loki mused.

"You can practically use the whole beast! Those scales can make good armors–”

“And them fangs make deadly daggers,” the first man said.

"Oh, I’m very interested. Please, go on.”

“The claws can be useful too. They’ll cut through just about anything but they can be crushed up into a powder also to cure all kinds of illments.”

“Ailments. Or illnesses. One or the other.” Loki corrected him once more.

“Well, you are a learned one, aren’t you,” the man said, now annoyed with the stranger’s quips. “Where you say you were from, again?”

"I didn’t. Oh, but look, I think more of your prey is arriving,” Loki said, pointing to the far end of the rocky ravine.

Three more scaly kapka were stalking down the ravine, drawn either by the scent of their fallen brethren or the now silenced screams of the girl.

"Ha! Time to get back to work, you!” the man shouted at the girl.

He grabbed her and quickly hooked her back on to the line. They both heaved the net over the edge. The metal rods seemed to snap together, straightening out to help the net fall flat onto the rocks below. The chain was quickly flying over the ledge. The girl gasped and hopped about on the spot.

“You know it’s easier if you jump,” one man said to her, amused. She shook her head, madly, not wanting to jump. Before the chain could rip her off the edge, the man gave her a hard kick, square in the chest. She screamed. Her fall was cut harshly short about a quarter of the way down the cliff face. Her head snapped painfully downwards at the sharp stop as the chain came taught.

It was wrapped tightly several times around her middle, trapping her arms to her sides. The strong hook attached to the chains at her back kept her face down towards the raging monsters. She screamed in terror.

Upon seeing the bait, the kapka charged down the ravine. Their claws made deep cuts in the dirt beneath their paws. They stopped abruptly, necks craned upwards to see their dangling prey. Guttural roars and growls rose up from the bottom of the cliff face. The girl cried out and kicked, swinging back and forth on her chain.

The movement clearly enticed the kapka even more as they began to leap up at her, swiping with their giant paws at her kicking legs. One leapt up the rock wall with powerful hind legs. It pushed off a small ledge and leapt, swinging it’s paw towards her. It came dangerously close to hitting her but fell just short, landing gracefully on its feet back at the bottom. The others were clawing at the wall, hungrily trying to find traction.

The girl’s arms were stuck tight to her sides from the chains but she still pulled and tugged at the restraints. Loki watched her movements, closely. He thought for a moment, he caught a quick flash of light from her hands as she struggled. She shrieked as if she had been caught by one of the beasts but none had touched her. He felt another strong disturbance in his aura, like electricity, nearly to the point of physical pain. Something strange was going on with this girl.

“Oh, you’re in luck, then, stranger, you’ll get to see the show,” they laughed.

"I can’t wait,” Loki said coolly, stepping forward. The hunters leaned over the edge to get a better line of sight at their prey. Loki took another step forward, firmly placing both hands on the backs of the men and shoved hard. The two men hurtled over the edge into the ravine, falling past the screaming girl, and into the awaiting jaws of the kapka.

           The girl turned her head back up towards the ledge, straining to see what had happened and why her former masters were now being paralyzed for dinner down below. The stranger peered over the edge at her and slowly began hoisting her up by the chain. She no longer struggled nor screamed but her chest heaved at the thought of what he might do to her now.

           Once she was back at the level of the ledge, Loki turned the crane-like mechanism around and lowered her onto the ground. She was breathing hard, soft whimpers escaping her lips. She had a thick, metal collar around her neck and shackles on her wrists and ankles. Judging from the thick bands of scars beneath the manacles, she had probably had them on for a very long time.

Loki turned back to look over the edge again. The kapka tore into the men with their massive fangs. Loki watched as the venom worked its way through them. Their screams slowly stopped as their bodies went limp but their eyes still twitched about in horror.

The first kapka struck, tearing an arm off one of the men and swallowing it whole. The next kapka ripped off a leg and in two big gulps, it was gone. The third tore away another leg and swung it about wildly, beating it on the ground before lazily turning onto its side and eating the leg whole.

“Well, that’s not at all what I was expecting.” Loki said, looking down at the horrified little girl. “I thought they’d at least torture them a little longer. What was all that about bits and pieces? He just tore off his whole leg!”

The girl whimpered at the stranger’s feet horrified at the scene below them. She turned her head away, not wanting to watch anymore.

Loki marveled at the sheer lack of blood the scene produced. Perhaps these morons knew a bit of what they were talking about after all. He watched for a moment longer before turning to the dead kapka behind him. He stooped, conjuring several jars and vials from his pocket in a smooth motion with his hands, and began extracting venom and blood from the creatures.

The girl watched him. Could he be a maker? What awful things was he going to do with that venom? She struggled, trying to free herself before the scary man could push her over the edge too.

Loki carefully filled each vial and jar before cutting away eight large fangs from the jaws of just one kapka. He was sure to take all the claws as well. He thought a few specimen of the scales would be useful too, for study, since the rest of the kapka had such alchemical properties. He already had the best armor any money could buy after all.

He revealed his sharpest knife to cut away at the tough skin. The glint of the blade sent the little girl into a frenzy.

“No! No! Please! Don’t hurt me, sir! Please!” she exclaimed.

“Calm down, it’s not for you. I’ll get to you in a minute.”

This was not at all calming for the girl, who only struggled more. Loki didn’t bother looking up. He could hear her chains clanking together as she desperately tried to free herself. He focused his attention on his work.

The scales were difficult to remove, indeed. Eventually, he was able to lift the edge of one gnarled, greenish-black scales and dig in at the slightly softer skin below. He carved out a large swath of the creature’s skin about as long as his arm and folded it neatly before making it disappear back into his pocket.

He studied the creature’s musculature beneath the skin he had removed. Intrigued and already covered in blood, he made another long cut down the beast’s belly, cutting through skin and muscle before he felt the grate of his knife against bone. He dug his hands into the beast’s chest cavity. He placed one foot firmly on one side of the rib cage and hooked his arm under the other side. He pushed upwards, expecting the bones to break easily but was met with tremendous resistance. Determined, he took a deeper breath and heaved his shoulder against the ribs of the animal.

Sickening cracks rang out in the forest that made the girl jump. Loki didn’t notice, he was too interested in what he was seeing. The internal structure of the beast was quite similar to that of a large cat but the bones were black as night. He extracted several rib bones from the beast as well as its heart and a few other organs, placing them again in conjured jars and boxes that vanished as quickly as they had appeared. Taking a look around the men’s small camp at the edge of the ravine, Loki located a large water skin. He poured some out into a bowl and crouched as he washed away the blood and bits of broken black bone and tissue from his hands. He looked up at the girl as he rubbed his hands together.

She opened her mouth to scream again, frightened senseless by the man covered in kapka gore. In an instant, the stranger appeared in front of her, clapping a hand over her mouth.

“If you want to stay alive, I wouldn’t be screaming and calling those things - or anything else around - to us,” he said in an even tone. “I’ll get to you in a minute. Just be patient.”

She nodded vigorously, tears flooding down her cheeks. He straightened up and walked back to the bowl of water he had poured. She watched him. She wanted that water so badly. Her throat was dry and scratchy, her lips chapped and cracked. The stranger looked up at her again, having finished cleaning off his arms and armor. She looked away sharply, finding a sprig of grass to look at instead.

She heard him stand up. Her breath came faster. His feet barely made a sound as they strode across the ground in her direction. She closed her eyes and tucked her chin to her chest. Her whole body trembled as his feet came to rest beside her. She braced herself for a kick but it never came.

Loki examined the chains. They were thick and old. Probably not made for the purpose of dangling a toddler over a cliff for evil beasties. They’d clearly been on her for a while too. They had left deep purple bruises in bands across her arms. He removed the large hook from the back of the chains. The sudden touch made the girl practically jump out of her skin. She began to weep again.

Loki rolled his eyes and continued examining the chains. He found a padlock resting on the girl’s shoulder blade. He looked up and around the camp again. Hopefully, the key wasn’t now inside the belly of a beast down below. He stood and began searching anyway. His eyes came to rest on a tough leather bag. He stood and grabbed it, turning over the flap and finding a small ring of keys.

“Ha, morons,” he muttered. “Just leaving the keys laying around.” He took the keys back over to the girl and tested each one in the lock.

“Ugh, you know, it’s always the last one you try,” he said out loud, inserting the last key into the lock. It clicked and the padlock opened. The girl flinched at the loud sound the lock made. Loki turned the lock over. It was old and rusty, grinding against itself. Unhooking the lock from the chains, he set it down beside him. The chains loosened around the girl’s morbidly thin frame. Loki was surprised that the weight of the chains had not crushed the tiny girl.

“There,” he said, finally freeing her. “I bet that feels a little better.”

She sniffled. She did not dare make eye contact, not even with her savior. She swallowed hard and nodded weakly. She did not dare to run either. This stranger would surely catch her and who knows what awful things he could do then.

He stood slowly and walked back towards the water skin. She slowly sat up, following him with her gaze, his back now turned to her. He was tall and lean with long black hair. A tattered green cape hung from his shoulders, falling just below his knees. He stooped to pick up the water skin and glanced over his shoulder at her. She quickly averted her eyes again, looking for anything else on the ground to stare at. He walked back over to her and crouched.

Loki could see how terrified the little girl was of him. Deep down he felt a pang of guilt for eliciting such a reaction from something so small but he quickly batted the sentiment away. He offered her the mouth of the water skin. She turned just a bit further away.

“Come on,” he said. “You clearly need it.”

She turned back towards him, her gaze rose to the water skin. Loki noticed her eyes were the same vibrant shade of green as the plants around them. Dark circles around her eyes, caused by exhaustion, only accentuated the color more. Her face was pale and streaked with dirt and tear trails. She sniffled again. Leaning forward towards the mouth of the water skin. Loki gently edged the skin closer for her. Her eyes flinched at the movement, her lips just centimeters from the skin. She turned her head away sharply as if expecting a blow.

Loki sighed pityingly. “Come on,” he urged her, moving the water skin a bit closer to her. “It’s alright. I’m not going to hurt you.”

She hesitated a moment before turning her head back again. Loki nodded, reassuringly. Slowly, she lifted her hand to brace the skin and put her lips around the opening. Loki gently tilted the skin upwards. As the water flowed into her mouth, she grabbed the skin with her other hand, overwhelmed by the first taste of water she had had in days. Loki let her finish it off before lowering it again.

She wiped her mouth and then licked the back of her hand, not wanting to waste a single drop. He let out a sigh. What a wretched creature. She dropped her hands in front of her, folding them in her lap and lowering her head.

“Do you have a family,” he asked.

She shook her head no, still staring at the ground.

“What happened to them?”

She took a shuddering breath. “They didn’t want me anymore.”

Loki shook his head, glancing away from her.

“Is this your home-world?” he asked.

She shook her head again.

“Where are you from? Do you know?”

She looked about on the ground for a moment, searching for a stone or a blade of grass that would give her the answer. She swallowed hard and shook her head again, dejected.

“I suppose even if you did, you wouldn’t want to go back,” he said. He nudged his foot at the chains absentmindedly, then remembered something.

“Why have you not used your magic to escape?” he asked.

Her breath caught in her throat. Chills crept up her body. Her chest began to heave. She looked up, only raising her eyes to the man’s armored chest, shaking her head frantically.

“I – I – I don’t have no magic, sir,” she choked.

He cocked his head to one side. “Really? Well, it certainly felt like you did.” He knew she was hiding something but she was far too scared to tell.

As he stood there, trying to figure out what to do with the child, her head suddenly snapped around, looking in the opposite direction. He turned round to see what she was looking at. She gasped and her hands went to her mouth, remembering what happened the last time she had tried to scream in front of the man.

At first, Loki could not figure out what the girl was hearing or seeing but the pounding footsteps that were growing ever-louder and ever-closer answered is questions.

           “Oh no,” Loki said. His shoulders fell.

           The monster that had knocked him out of the tree was crashing through the underbrush. He could just make out its stiff mane above the leaves of the brush. The girl scrambled to her feet and tried to run. She tripped over her self and the chains at her feet and crumpled into a ball.

           “No, don’t do that!” Loki exclaimed, hauling her up by the arm. “We need to leave now!”

           He ran into the trees behind them, practically dragging the girl along with him. The monster tore through the camp behind them. They could hear the sounds of wrenching metal and the breaking of wood as they ran away. The girl cried out at the noise.

           “Ugh,” Loki groaned. “I don’t have time for this! I need a drink!”

           He summoned the tesseract’s energy once again. A jump like what he was planning would take some serious concentration; concentration that a mad beast chasing them was disrupting. He ran, eyes half closed, hauling the girl alongside him.

           “No! No!” she cried.

           He could feel her pulling away from him. He looked up and saw that they were running straight for the trunk of a great tree. Groaning with the effort it took to focus the tesseract’s energy with his magic, he finally felt the vapors envelope around them. They disappeared moments before they would have collided into the tree, leaving the beast behind them careening into its base.

           They both collapsed onto the ground on the other side of the portal. The girl covered her head with her hands, waiting to be trampled by the gigagrunt behind them. When she did not feel the pain of certain death, she sat up and looked around. They were in a wide meadow nowhere close to the dominating trees of the forest with no gigagrunt in sight. The sky above her was clear but two suns shined down on her face.

           She blinked rapidly and shook her head but both suns were still up there. The man sat up and shook his head.

           “That planet was insane!” he exclaimed. “Will not be going back there anytime soon.”

           She stared at him. That was magic that he used. It made sense now. Even though his cape was torn up, his armor was accented with gold and silver all over. And he talked nice. Only rich people talked like that.

           “Are you alright?” he asked her.

           She looked around, startled by his question. Realizing that they were completely alone and that his question truly was directed at her, she nodded.

           “Yes, sir,” she said, softly, looking down at her hands.

           “Good,” he replied. He stood and brushed himself off. He walked past her. She followed him with her eyes. He put his hands on his hips and looked around, then up in the sky at the double suns above them.

“I have no idea where we are,” he admitted, dropping his head. He turned back towards her. “Sometimes that happens. To be fair, we were being chased by a vicious monster so the fact we ended up on solid ground and not somewhere in the vacuum of space is rather impressive.” He stopped in front of her. “And on top of that, it’s a planet we can both breathe on! I’d say that’s pretty good for teleporting on the run.”

“Y – Yes, sir?” she said. She was not entirely sure if he was speaking to her still. She suddenly felt sick to her stomach. She swallowed hard. There was little sustenance in her stomach to begin with, save for maybe what was left of the water she’d drank, but it very much wanted out of her mouth. Her head began to spin and she pitched forward.

“Oh, yes, sorry,” the man said, crouching down to catch her before she fell flat on her face. “That’s pretty normal after a big jump.”

She flinched at his touch. He gently turned her onto her back. She closed her eyes, trying to make the ground stop spinning. She blanched and felt a hot flush race over her face, traveling down her neck to her chest.

Loki watched her. Her chest still rose and fell. At least she wasn’t dead. He knew that could sometimes happen too. Not to him, of course. He knew what he was doing. But this girl did not. She was small and small things sometimes have a hard time fully materializing on the other side of portals. He examined her body. Despite the obvious lack of food and water and the cuts, bruises, and scars that covered her bare skin, she seemed to be all there. She opened her eyes again.

“Am I dying, sir?” she asked, meekly.

“You don’t appear to be,” Loki replied. This seemed to calm the girl for a moment before her eyes widened in fear.

“Is this one of the hells?” she asked.

Loki wondered what sort of religion had such beautiful hells but reassured her with a smirk, “I doubt it.”

Her face twisted with fear and she asked, “Are you a demon?”

Loki smiled and hesitated a moment before answering, “Some people probably think I am -including myself occasionally- but no, I am not.”

She sighed, relieved. She blinked a few times, still trying to make the two suns turn back into one. Seeing that her blinks had failed, she began to sit up slowly.

“Welcome back,” the man said, smiling wryly. “Better?”

She nodded and then looked down seemingly disappointed in herself. “Yes, sir,” she said.

“My name is Loki,” he told her. “What’s your name?”

For the first time, her eyes met his. She seemed confused by the question at first. Loki nodded, prompting her again. She quickly looked down at her hands before looking back up at him.

“My – My name is Kuna,” she said, holding his gaze for a moment before submissively adding, “Sir.”

She wondered if he would hit her for telling him. No master ever asked her name and certainly no rich person. All the slaves she had ever seen tell a master their name were beaten so senseless. She would have forgotten hers a long time ago from disuse, if she hadn’t carved it into her wrist with a rusty nail in the stockyard.

Loki nodded. “Kuna,” he said, testing the name aloud. She dropped her head, anticipating a smack at the very least but it didn’t come. “That’s a beautiful name,” he said.

Her eyes widened at the ground below her. This must be some trick. He was not possibly being… nice to her. He stood up again and looked around. “Well, it looks to me like those suns are setting,” he observed. “We should make a camp before it gets dark.”

This was definitely the strangest rich person Kuna had ever met.

[the--sad--hatter]

Phantom Pain (27)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - Bucky X Reader

WARNINGS - Bad Habits and Rough Sex, Angsty and Dark AF.

DESCRIPTION - Everybody in the world knew of you, but not who you really were. Some called you a vigilante, some called you a criminal and some called you a hero but all of them called you The Phantom.

Only two people knew your real identity and they swore to never tell anyone but when The Avengers need to infiltrate a high-security facility, Bruce Banner deduces that you’re the only one who can pull it off. That decision puts you and Bucky Barnes on a path you can’t turn back from, even if neither of like where it’s leading.

Series Masterlist

Chapter Twenty-Seven - Killer 

You were dangerously close to being late for work as you hurriedly rushed down the stairs, your hair still slightly damp as you hurriedly buttoned your blouse.

 Bucky had found the gym equipment you had set up where the pews had been in the original church and was making use of it. You blindly wandered towards the makeshift kitchen you’d set up, eyes transfixed on the way his abs were clenching and contacting as he did one armed pull ups on the metal bars.

Thoughts of lateness were brushed aside as you reached for the coffee pot, your fingers brushing across the hot coffee cup you had assumed was his but you didn’t take your coffee the same way and judging by the colour of the coffee, this was yours. It was such a tiny little act, almost insignificant in the grand scheme of things but the easy domesticity and thoughtfulness of it made your heart pitter pat in your chest.

 You picked it up and smiled over at him, seeing that you were looking he winked and picked up the pace, showing off.

 The sound of your laughter drifted over to him and the sight of you standing there, barefoot and bathed in golden light as you smiled brightly and held the coffee he’d made for you filled his chest with warmth. For so long his life had been about fighting, seventy years of conflict, pain, torture, redemption and loss. And now there was you, a woman he thought was beautiful inside and out who’d fought through your own issues just to give him a chance and you were smiling at him.

 “I’m going to be late.” You said, but you weren’t moving.

 “I’ll get my stuff so you can lock up your secret base behind us. Eat something, I’ll shower.” He said, dropping easily to the floor.

 “You can lock up. You’re already in the system, you have the same clearance here as you do at the compound.” You told him.

 He looked at you in surprise.

 “Stark set this place up? Do we all have access?” He asked.

 “He did, and no. It was just Bruce and Snark until a few days ago when I asked him to add you into the security system matrix or whatever it’s called.” You laughed.

 “I can’t believe you ever fooled us into thinking you were a hacker.” He laughed, trying to get a handle on the growing emotions flowing through him at the knowledge you’d accepted him into your life so thoroughly.

 “I’m a good liar. You should maybe, if you wanted that is, you could move some stuff here. Weapons and things I mean. It’s a good base and you might need to use it at some point.” You stammered nervously.

 It was the straw that broke the camels back for Bucky. He strutted towards you like a man on a mission and you barely had time to put your coffee down safely before he descended on you, sweeping you into his arms and kissing you like his life depended on it. Ignoring the fact he was sweaty and you were freshly showered you threw your arms around him and kissed him back with as much passion as he was showing.

 “I’m really really going to be late.” You said but instead of pulling away, you tightened your grip on him.

 “Then you should go.” He said, not moving at all.

 “Hmm.” You agreed.

 Your phone started ringing obnoxiously and your groaned, headbutting his shoulder gently and he chuckled and pulled it out of your pocket and handed it to you.

 “Yes Matt?” You answered drily.

 “Your penthouse sold for the asking price, do you want me to straight ahead and transfer those funds into the Hercules Foundation?” He said without preamble.

 “It’s been on the market for like five days, how did it sell…. Oh. Snark. Hold off on that for now.” You instructed.

 “Ok, I also have the contracts for the new science division drawn up for you to look over and Foggy wants to go over the terminations of the government contracts with you.” He said.

 “I’m on my way into the office, send Foggy over.” You sighed.

 “I’ll tell him to bring a lot of coffee with him.” Matt remarked and hung up on you.

 “Sounds like you’ve got your hands full.” Bucky noted.

 “Yeah… I really do. Who knew dismantling a company and rebuilding it as a charity foundation would be so difficult?” You joked.

 “You did, but you did it anyway. You knew it would be difficult and you decided to take it on without hesitating and you invested your personal fortune into it.” He said, not even trying to hide the admiration in his voice.

 You blushed and started searching for your shoes that you knew were somewhere around. Bucky coughed to get your attention and held them out to you. You grinned and kissed him on the cheek as you grabbed them and slipped them on.

 “Have a good day at work Domniţă.” He told you, chuckling as you tried to get out of the door while Frank, who’d jumped down from the rafters bit at your heels.

 “I’ll see you at home tonight, take this asshole back to the compound with you?” You asked and he nodded at you.

 You finally made your escape and ran for the car that was parked in an old shed, reminding yourself with every step that Foggy was heading towards your office and you couldn’t turn around.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As soon as you stepped out of the elevator you knew something was wrong. Foggy had unsurprisingly beaten you there and was stood in front of your office door, whispering into his phone, stress and concern pouring off of him.

 “She’s here, gotta go.” He whispered and hung up the phone.

 “Good morning!” He greeted you, a little too loud and a little too cheerfully.

 “What’s wrong?” You asked suspiciously.

 “What? Nothing. Just need to go over these contracts with you.” He said.

 You narrowed your eyes at him and shook your head at his odd behaviour, reaching past him to open your office door. He pushed your hand away quickly and stood in front of the handle, blocking it.

 “Foggy.” You warned.

 “Let’s go get breakfast? Have you had any? Lets get a second breakfast, you know, like Hobbits? A business breakfast.” He rambled, sweating nervously.

 You lost your patience and gently but firmly pushed past him and into your office. You gasped at the sight as soon as you did. The office was exactly as you had left it. Almost.

 Along the wall, behind your desk there was a message.

 KILLER. Written in what you hoped was red paint, above large picture of you. You saw that your eyes had been scratched out and the same red paint had been used to draw a line across your throat.

 “It was here when I arrived. I called Matt, he’s on his way.” Foggy said apologetically.

 “Tell him not to come.” You whispered.

 Bile rose up your throat and you felt light headed. Someone had been in here, bypassing the first class security system and leaving a clear threat for you. You felt violated and though you were more than capable of taking care of yourself, there were the first stirrings of fear in your gut.

 You didn’t want Bucky to find out about this, or any of The Avengers to be honest but especially Bucky. You knew with absolute certainty that he would worry, he would act over-protective and probably hunt down whoever had done this and dispose of them. You didn’t want to put him through this. You didn’t want him to feel the way you did right now.

 But if you didn’t tell Bucky and he found out, he’d feel betrayed. And he’d want to be able to help you with this, you knew that. Besides, there was nobody you trusted more. So you did the smart thing and you called him.

 One hour and forty minutes later one of the admins stepped out of the elevator with a pile of papers she needed you to look over and frowned.

 “Miss King? Is everything alright?” She asked.

 You and Foggy looked up from where you were working in the reception area of your office.

 “Everything’s fine. I just have some decorators in my office at the moment.” You lied easily, holding out your hands for the papers.

 As soon as the elevator doors closed with the admin inside again Bucky stepped out of your office with a stony expression.

 “It’s not paint.” He said and you gulped.

 “Blood?” You asked, knowing what the answer would be and he nodded.

 “Do you have any idea who might have a grudge against you?” He asked, clenching his jaw.

 “Plenty of people.” You said coldly.

 “No, they have grudges against your father not you.” Foggy corrected.

 “Well, he’s dead and I’m not.” You pointed out.

 “Fear not Princess, whoever the scum was who did this we shall find and destroy them for you.” Thor boomed from the office.

 “Thanks Thor.” You called.

 Thor had tagged along when Bucky had asked Loki to come. Whoever it was had snuck into a highly secure building unseen and entered a locked office without leaving a trace. The God Of Mischief was someone that Bucky wanted working this with him.

 The elevator dinged again and Bucky sighed and stepped back into the office.

 “Miss King, The Washington Post are calling again, so is The New Yorker.” The front desk secretary said, the poor woman looking frazzled.

 “Just, tell them… I don’t know, tell them I’ll call them back tomorrow to arrange something. Tell anyone who calls the same thing and make a note and email me.” You said, sighing heavily.

 “Yes Miss King.” She said and scampered back into the elevator.

 “You need an assistant.” Foggy remarked as Bucky came back out of the office.

 Bucky had said the same thing last night. You needed your own Pepper Potts.

 “That’s it, all other business is being pushed back until I can find an assistant. Or three.” You remarked, thinking about just how much work you had to get through.

 “Princess! If you require assistance I know of someone who can help you!” Thor yelled, practically bounding out of the office.

 “You? You know someone?” You asked in befuddlement.

 “A dear friend of mine who is experienced in assisting other with such matters and she recently told me she wants to move back to New York now that Jane has a new job in Germany. She is most trustworthy.” Thor assured.

 “Sure, what the hell. She’s hired.” You shrugged throwing your hands up in exasperation.  

 “As your lawyer I advise that you should probably get her name and do an Interview.” Foggy said nervously, unable to take his eyes off of Thor.

 “It’s fine, I trust Thor.” You said.

 “A horrible decision.” Loki called from inside the office.

 Thor smiled brightly and took your hand in his much larger one.

 “I believe you and Lady Darcy will get along, she is a woman of the same calibre as yourself.” Thor assured.

 “So she’s a manipulative, sassy genius? I love her already.” You decided.

 “I can find no signs of magical tampering.” Loki announced, joining the rest of you in the reception.

 “I combed through the security footage, there was nothing out of the ordinary. There was no signs of a break in on the office door or windows.” Bucky told you, looking put out and more than a little furious.

 “So whoever it was just walked through the wall?” You asked, sighing heavily.

 “It would appear so.” Loki said, looking at you curiously.

 “I need to talk to you.” You said to Bucky and he nodded, looking around for somewhere other than the office to take you.

 “Come on.” You said, stomping into the office.

 You were not going to be chased out of your own space by whoever it was.

 “What is it?” He asked, closing the door behind him.

 You didn’t answer right away, too busy staring at the mutilated picture of yourself until Bucky stood in front of it with a growl of anger.

 “My fa… Alexander King… the fake… I’m just going to refer to him as The Imposter. The Imposter didn’t know I was the Phantom Bucky. He was surprised by it. I think there’s another Phantom and I think they were hunting him and now that he’s dead, they’ve moved onto me.” You admitted.

 “Another Phantom?”

 “Yes. I don’t think I was the first person to go into that Chamber.” You said.

 He pulled something from under his shirt and handed it to you. It was the same Vibranium Knife that The Imposter had tried to kill you with.

 “You don’t go anywhere without this.” Bucky instructed as you tentatively took it from him.

 You reluctantly nodded.

 “There’s something else, something I have to tell you.” Bucky said.

 “God, what now?” You asked in trepidation.

 He smirked and yanked you forward, into his chest.

 “I made us dinner reservations for tonight. That is, if you’ll agree to go on a date with me Domniţă?”

 You smiled up at him as he tried to mask the nervous look in his eyes behind a charming grin.

 “Bucky… every reason I had for closing myself off turned out to be fake. My whole life has been one big conspiracy. It’s all secrets and lies. Except you. You’re the only thing that’s safe and the only things that’s certain.” You told him, reaching up onto your tiptoes to kiss him.

 “Is that a yes?” He checked.

“That’s an absolutely, of course, I would love nothing more.” You promised.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 You guys still with me? I haven't driven you away with mushy romance or plot twists?

@drdorkus  @gravedollie666  @sadsoldat  @bigplantdaddy  @moodyruth   @likes-to-smell-books  @shirukitsune  @inquisitor-selvala   @myfandomlife-blog  @markusstraya   @adeleoctobre  @vajeenparty  @sexyvixen7  @love-nakamura  @buckitybarnes   @littledeadrottinghood  @pinkisokay  @jsmith509  @brownlee-22  @angieptt   @thosesexytexasboys  @liveonce-sodoitright  @tarastudiesalot  @spnrvt  @dahkness   @dilaila95  @rororo06  @mizzzpink  @release-the-cathyrchkn  @thefridgeismybestie    @fairislesheets  @strangersstranger  @life-wanderer  @uuuuuuuuggggghhh   @curiositykilledthepepe  @musingpredilection  @boxofteenageideas  @thelostallycat   @demonlover87  @cutie1365   @mcuthemusical  @caroldanvers616  @chipilerendi   @scarlettswxtch  @undiscovered-misunderstood @itsmejessicasstuff @musingsofafangirlblog  @moli1497 @deathofmissjackson @slxyangel

[langernameohnebedeutung]

suzuwarahikaru replied to your post “what happens at 5 am?”

where is the essay, OP!?

@suzuwarahikaru​ Honestly, it’s drivel and I didn’t feel like it particularly went anywhere and it was just me monologuing about one aspect of a bigger question so that’s why I didn’t post it. But ok, just for some context: You probably know how the MCU was often criticised for having “bland one off villains” and that’s true especially in their early films - and that was time when Heath Ledger’s Joker loomed very large and Ian McKellen was famous for his performance of Magneto and the idea for a Magneto solo film had just been scrapped in favour of XM First Class. At that point apparently the MCU guys walked up with the demand that Thor 1 only has to give them 1 thing: A villain as good as Magneto which they could use in Avengers. Now, obviously it had to be Loki, because Loki is Thor’s most famous antagonist and he was the first guy the Avengers ever fought in the comics, and Loki in Thor 1 is satisfyingly complex - but now that Loki’s dead and has a solo show coming out in a while, people dug up that old quote and started arguing about whether Loki actually became a villain “as good as Magneto” - which I honestly wouldn’t care about, except this argument spilled a few  “But Loki is great and Magneto is boring”-posts into the Magneto tag a while ago (which mixes with a lot of: Why did Cherik get a happy end but Stucky didn’t that’s so unfair!!!! posts) and then some comments started lowkey implying that Loki is a character who’s more attractive to sophisticated fans and that Magneto fans are usually men and Loki fans women (with the not so subtle implication being that Magneto fans are comic dude bros who like him for his cool powers and because he’s a Bad Guy(TM) I don’t really care about that, but over the course of this argument someone made a rather interesting post, wondering about what “went wrong” with Loki and while I love Loki as a character and as a villain, it made me ponder what could have been done to make Loki (even) better and to help him stand on his own 2 feet as a character and this was their post:

Now and this was going to be my response: Personally, I don’t think that having spectacular powers or anything make a villain good (they make good visuals though) but whether the hero learns something from fighting them, whether their motivation maybe reflects something that we experience as well and that maybe they unmask something that we usually don’t feel comfortable to address. And Loki has all these qualities.

I’m not going to try to objectively pinpoint where it ‘went wrong’ but it’s actually interesting to look at the XMCU and the MCU and to compare notes. The XMCU is often criticised for being too wordy, too slow-paced and “what’s with the constant time jumps and decade-hopping?” But I think that’s something the Thor franchise could actually have profited from, because…these guys are immortals and it just feels rushed in my opinion to watch their world fall apart in what is for them a matter of a long weekend. 

For example, a bigger distance between the events of Thor 1 and Avengers would have lent more weight to Loki’s disappearance and Thanos torturing and brainwashing him, Thor’s and Jane’s relationship would have been given more time to develop (making their reunion in Thor 2 more meaningful). They could also have given her more time exploring Asgard/battling the Ether. We could have learnt more about the Dark Elves, the Frost Giants, the Nine Realms in general. 

And that’s at least part of the problem, in my opinion: We don’t know enough about Asgard. You can’t just throw in an alien word without world-building and you can’t introduce characters who are millennia old by showing us 6 years of their lives and maybe 1 flashback. There is a reason why a show like Good Omens spent basically an entire episode on Crowley and Aziraphale’s lives through the millennia. Captain America got a film set in the WW2, Wolverine Origins covers over a century of Logan’s story. Magneto isn’t a better (or worse) villain than Loki, because as you said, the writing makes the character and both get pretty good and pretty bad writing at times. But a big difference is: We know a lot more about Magneto than we know about Loki. 

One example of this is personal relationships. Something I never realised before I started typing this is how little space Loki is given to let him form/have/maintain/test/strengthen meaningful relationships. 

Basically, all his meaningful interactions are inside his family. Magneto (to be clear, I’m bringing up so often bc the MCU apparently insisted on being rude af and asking Kenneth Branagh on drawing inspiration from a character who’s basically the opposite of Loki in every regard) gets a lot more screen time to develop his relationships with other characters, even if it means less CGI action scenes. 

In fact, I’m currently tempted to find out how many 1 on 1 dialogue scenes Loki gets per hour of film vs. how many Magneto gets. Loki enters the picture with a family, ‘friends’, a biological father, servants, an entire kingdom of people who know him, but he barely gets to have any meaningful interactions outside of his family environment. Seeing him interact with a friend or even someone who hates him for reasons unrelated to his relationship with Thor or someone who supports him would in turn show us a lot about how he sees other people, how he sees himself, how he treats them, what he values in a person, what kind of people trusts (if he trusts) – that’s a lot of potential that was left pretty much wasted in my opinion. 

One of the first things Agent of Asgard did was add Verity Willis to its main-cast so have a character for Loki to interact with, to serve as a moral anchor, and to call him out on his bullshit. Having relationships is powerful. In the MCU, Loki’s relationship with his mother is such an important, humanising element to his character. Also a lot of headcanons and metas and thoughts about Loki are inspired by those few scenes where we see him interact with the Warrior’s Three and Sif before Loki finds out about his parentage. 

And even when encounters the Avengers, they meet once, they talk once, then Loki he returns to Asgard and they never meet again, except Bruce - and even then there’s barely any time to talk about what happened in Avengers 1. He doesn’t get to form any meaningful relationships with his adversaries when he talks to them in Av1, these scenes just exist to present the Avengers in a certain light. And in the end it’s canonised that Loki was brainwashed so it’s all pointless anyway. (pls (don’t) make me write an essay on agency and the MCU, because honestly, between Bucky, Gamora, Nebula, Loki and everyone else was brainwashed it’s actually worth a conversation)

Even in Thor 1 Loki never meets Jane or Darcy, one of the main-characters. And we never see a single frost giant after the first film. Erik Solveig is the only Earth character from Thor 1 Loki actually meets and he’s brainwashed for most of that and in Thor 2, they don’t get to meet again. 

Imagine if Loki had had someone he trusted in Thor 1 and told them about finding out he’s a Frost Giant and they reject him and treat him like a monster. This could be three or four scenes that don’t throw off the film but would have been very powerful. Or imagine if Loki keeps his heritage a secret from that friend/trusted person and they find out in Thor 2 and confront him about it. Valkyrie and Loki never talk about him invading her mind or the things he saw. 

We never get to see him alone on Sakaar to deal with what he presumes is the end of his home world and the death of everyone he knows and we never see him interact ‘win the Grandmaster’s trust’. 

We never see him interact with the Hulk before they’re suddenly fighting side by side in Infinity War. We never find out exactly what the Aesir’s sentiments towards him are, what kind of prince he was in the past, how present he is in public, what reputation he has beyond silver-tongue mischief guy and which specific events shaped it.

If the MCU wants a villain “as good as Magneto” (which is already annoying bc they imply that Loki is not as good a villain which is such a subjective measure – Magneto done wrong is a horrible and downright offensive villain and trickster characters done right are amazing for revealing the flaws of a hero.*) then they have to give writers and actors the same means to do that with. The X-Men franchise, for all it flaws, always gave Magneto screen-time (so much that people criticised it). 

There’s a Charles-and-Erik dialogue in pretty much every film, allowing us to follow the state of their eternal argument at every step. We see his friendship with Mystique grow and fall, we see Wolverine call him out on his bullshit, his attempt to make young Hank and Mystique feel better about their visible mutations, we know how he treats his followers, his new recruits, his enemies, his students, his wife and his daughter, (daughters, if we count The Gifted and his legacy), his colleagues, his lovers, his ex-lovers, allies and former allies, politicians, police, prison guards, Nazis, soldiers, insane Egyptian gods – and we get to learn his feelings and thoughts about all of these through personal interactions, decisions and gestures. And in turn we know how they feel about Magneto. What do we know about Loki’s feelings about people outside his family? How does he feel about Fandral? What are his thoughts on the Valkyrior? How did his views on Frost Giants change and when? Did he challenge them at all or did he just become cynical about them? 

As I said, Loki is a formidable villain but I think that he suffers from the same problem as many MCU characters: We hardly know them. Think about Natascha whose been part of the franchise since Iron Man 2 but we hardly know anything about her. How much do we know about the family Drax lost? Or about Wanda’s family? About Pepper’s private life? We hardly know anything about them and especially when characters are thousands of years old and we know nothing about their past, it really creates a gaping hole in their biography and that really leads back to my original point: If we could spend more time with them, we would know them better and care more. One of the reason Dark Phoenix is a bit under-whelming is because we know very little about Jean and Scott in this time line. 

There are two DCEU films I actually own and watched more than once: Wonder Woman and Aqua Man. And while I personally didn’t find Aqua Man that good, this film actually tells us a lot about him and despite my lack of knowledge about the DCEU and me being a giant Marvel nerd, I preferred Wonder Woman over Captain Marvel and that is because I felt closer to her character. It really boils down to a “show don’t tell issue” and for me, that would mean: Maybe fewer giant CGI battles. more people living their lives. *(which should also highlight why setting Magneto as a mark for K.B. is so off-mark. Loki is about unmasking hypocrisy, Magneto himself is a hypocrite who regards himself as a hero but often does immoral things and that for example gets unmasked by Wolverine, another social outsider with littl care for social conventions)

[frumfrumfroo]

Why do antis hate Kylo so much? I understand some of the hatred towards him because he killed Han Solo and to a lot of people being “responsible” for the death of a beloved icon is reason enough to condemn him forever (even though “killing Han” isn’t a decision Kylo made because Kylo’s a fictional character, and the writers were the ones who came up with the idea, but whatever) but I don’t get the rest of it: it’s such a virulent, specific hate. Why does he get under so many people’s skin?

Why did people hate Loki so much when he was the popular face of this archetype? Not for anything specific he’d done- Loki didn’t kill Han Solo. He didn’t actually kill anyone human in the original film. Why is it so perennially trendy to shit on beautiful woobie villain/anti-/tragic heroes?

I said this a few posts back, but I think it’s a big factor that they are liminal characters. They don’t fit neatly into a label or rigid alignment chart. They are emotional, vulnerable, victims with an inherent nobility who care profoundly and desire love and acceptance, but they tend to lash out at and do terrible things to precisely those closest to them- who try to help them- because those people were probably also a source of their wounds. They tend to allow their emotional pain to encompass everything to the point they don’t care about collateral damage. That’s difficult, it makes demands on your empathy, it asks you to condemn their actions while understanding how those actions came about. It asks you to look critically at the (writ large) consequences of normal human failings you’ve probably experienced in some form (wanting to hurt others because you are hurting, wanting revenge because you were wronged, wanting acceptance and/or respect so badly it’s blinding), and to consider this in relation to your own frailties.

It’s uncomfortable to be shown that people who do bad things are just people, that their motives are probably not ‘lol yay evil’, and it’s possible that- faced with similar pressures and circumstances- many of us could also be driven to extremes. That’s sort of the whole point of tragic heroes like Sweeney Todd or Othello, how decent or even admirable people can become monstrous, how it happens for comprehensible, even sympathetic reasons. There but for the grace of God go I, etc.  because evil is something you choose over time.

Anyway, that’s a tangent. Ben is upsetting because he should be a hero. He has a heart which could hold the empire of the whole world and is currently desperately trying to convince himself that what he wants is a cellar. The wrongs he’s doing are infinitely more offensive coming from someone we are rooting for. Someone who the film has subliminally set you up to root for, someone who must be saved and reclaimed lest everything that came before him be vain. It feels like a betrayal to the audience when he chooses wrong. It feels like it should be so easy for him to just stop, just snap out of it.

And if you don’t believe in forgiveness, you don’t believe in the universal fallibility of humans and operate on a relativistic scorched earth policy where anything the designated ‘Good People’ do in response is justifiable because the villain ‘deserved it’, then your emotional response is going to be anger and lust for punishment. If the extent of your ability to engage with the story and empathise is ‘well, I wouldn’t kill my father because I was sad’, then you’re never going to get beyond that. Their take away was ‘how dare he’ and then, when they get on the internet and see people who can engage and do sympathise, it becomes ‘how dare you’.

[atamascolily]

Avengers: Endgame review

TL;DR: This is not a terrible movie, especially given how many characters and story arcs the creators are juggling. That said, its success make its missteps all the more frustrating for me.

I like the opening scene, because it's so mundane. Instead of monsters and aliens and fighting, it's just a family picnic in the American Midwest. Even though it feels like Hollywood only knows one way to shoot family/domestic scenes, I like that Clint is teaching his daughter to shoot a bow instead of one of the boys.

I like how quickly the Snap happens, how silent and quiet it is. One minute, everything is fine, and then... Clint looks around and they are gone. He knows right away something is up. There's no place they could have gone. This scene is so short - less than three minutes out of a three hour movie - but the audience already sees where Clint is going next.

This scene also emphasizes how Rapture-like the Snap is - to the point where people online started calling it the Snapture. The film doesn't focus much on post-Snap life, but I'm sure religions would have a lot to say about this. In some ways, exploring life in this scared new world is more interesting to me than more predictable arc of getting it back...

I like Tony and Nebula playing paper football. How intense Nebula is, how into it she gets, how Tony lets her win. Wiki says those scenes were improvised and I approve. The message he leaves for Pepper with his helmet is pure Tony Stark--glib, audacious and yet charming all at once. I can’t decide whether I want to punch him or hug him for it. Maybe both.

I like that Captain Marvel's arrival is so angelic. She's glowing. It's a miracle. Was she sent to find him, or did she just stumble across the ship by chance?  We never find out.

I like how the Avengers are able to locate Thanos, only to discover he's destroyed the stones. I like how using the stones has consequences: Thanos is able to use them, but at great personal and physical cost; it's nice foreshadowing for the end.

Thanos is so chill about dying; it makes me suspect he's got something up his sleeve, but apparently, he's okay with dying now that his Crazy Apocalyptic Death Cult has achieved its goal. He manages to break Nebula's heart even more before Thor murders him. It's hard to say who's more surprised in that moment: Thor or Nebula.

Time skip. There's only one real plot reason for a five-year gap, and that's so Tony Stark can have a kid and an excuse to be selfish that doesn't render him completely unsympathetic to the audience. Morgan is cute, and all, but I'm not a fan of what she represents, nor of the stock Hollywood way of portraying children. Tony lives in a log cabin in what is obviously Georgia, and doesn't use his wealth to fix the world or anything. Granted, he's got extreme PTSD, but he's chosen to become a hermit. I guess we should be glad he's not drinking, doing drugs, or screwing journalists, like he did in the first Iron Man movie.

Steve running the support group is poignant, especially since that was always Sam's gig. I wonder if it's his way of honoring Sam. Sob. Marvel claims the gay man in the support group is historic, but I can't help but note it's something that can be easily edited for release in China.

I have not seen the Ant-Man movies, but I like Scott Lang. He is an optimist who soldiers on despite the fact that he is the Butt Monkey of all the jokes. I like how he extricates himself from the storage locker--though the fact that the van is still in storage five years out speaks VOLUMES to how messed up the world is five years later.

I think Scott walks past his house first--then goes to the wall, then to his house and knocks on the door? Or is that just a random house in the background when he first asks the kid on the bike what's wrong? I don't know why the kid doesn't answer him, except to add an aura of mystery to the whole thing.

The stones on Crissy Field are intense. Scott running around in a panic is spot-on--and his confusion when his name is on there, and his relief that Cassie's isn't. He knocks on the door of his house and a now-teenaged daughter greets her father. Again, I'm not sure I buy how Hollywood portrays these kinds of reunions, but it's very moving.

I love Nat and her peanut butter sandwiches, her rapport with Steve. I love these two as friends and I also ship them, and nothing in this scene proves me wrong. I love that Nat is basically in charge of the world now, and that she's the one keeping everything running smoothly --even when, as Okoye puts it, some things like undersea earthquakes don't require any action on her part. I also like her hair - I wasn't a huge fan of her Infinity War look, so I'm glad she's gone back to long/red-dish hair again.  

There's also the first stirrings of what Clint is up to, and while I don't like this subplot, I have to say it's set up very well. I can admire skillful plot devices even when I dislike their contents.

Scott showing up is priceless. I love his babbling to the security camera and Steve and Nat's reactions. Also, he drove the van all the way from California to wherever-the-hell-the-Avengers-Institute is located--I think it's supposed to be New York, but the filming location is a car headquarters in Georgia, so I think of it as Georgia.

I like that Bruce and the Hulk have come to an understanding. I wonder what Nat thinks about this. This movie makes it pretty clear Bruce is still into her, even though Nat isn't into him (and most of us are pretending that little subplot in Age of Ultron never happened).  

Same with Thor. It hurts to see him so clearly stuck, but Korg is amazing, as always, even if he is an enabler. I don't know why Valkyrie hasn't kicked Thor's ass yet. Maybe she's too busy running things. I wonder if Valkyrie and Nat are talking. I bet they are. I bet they respect each other.

I also like how fanon says that noobmaster69 is really Loki trolling Thor via videogames. Otherwise, the idea of the God of Thunder threatening a teenager is terrible, not funny. It's much better for everyone if it's Loki.

I'm not sure how they get from quantum stuff to time travel, except Plot. I think it would have been less confusing if they'd called it traveling to parallel universes from the get-go, instead of time travel that happens to create parallel universes, because it doesn't act like the standard time travel narrative. There's some meta about this in the film, but I don't think that's enough to compensate. Anyway, timey-wimey-magic-science-plot ball.

Cut to Clint Barton murdering yakuza in Tokyo. I do not like anything about this scene, or Clint. Vigilante justice is not a healthy coping mechanism. Clint pulling back his mask in the rain while Natasha is behind him with an umbrella is beautiful, and I love it. I appreciate the callbacks to Clint reaching out to Natasha when she was brainwashed by the Russians, even though I don't like where this story arc is going.

I love that everyone finally puts their heads together and realizes that the Infinity Stones have all spent an improbably large amount of time on Earth in recent years.

You can hear the smile in Nat's voice when she says "Be right back," and my heart breaks because Oh, Irony.

Tilda Swinton as the Ancient One is a treat, even though I'm mad they whitewashed the character because China complained about making the character a Tibetan (as in the comics). I like how easily she is able to separate Bruce from the Hulk, and how Bruce just sighs and tries to negotiate. Strange giving up the Time Stone is one of the weirdest parts of the last movie, and I'm glad everyone else thinks so too.

(Also, Dr. Strange is in the middle of surgery while the Chitauri are attacking New York? WOW.)

The Captain America vs. Captain America fight is great fun, if painful to watch. Also, that callback to the Elevator scene in The Winter Soldier is great, as is watching all the secret!Hydra agents file in, and Scott says what we're all thinking: "How could you give the stone to them? They LOOK evil!"

Loki getting away with the Space Stone is a wild card, and I don't know what they're going to do with it. Going to Camp Lehigh in the '70s is great on a plot level: Tony gets a chance to chat with his father, and Steve gets more magic particles to further the rest of the plot. And they get the stone, too. Right.  

Thor having one last conversation with his mother, oh my heart. Also, he stole his hammer from his past/other self... isn't that going to cause plot problems? Who cares, when we can have TWO flying hammer things in the final battle?

Peter Quill's internal monologue never looks as good from the outside. The directors seem to loath him as much as I do, meaning he is the other Butt Monkey of the party along with Scott. Rhody is genre-savvy and I approve; Nebula is an android and indifferent to personal danger.

The android bit makes things complicated when 2014!Nebula starts spilling bits of 2019!Nebula's memories. 2014!Thanos correctly identifies this as time-travelers from the future/parallel universes trying to prevent him from success. He gets to see the whole thing from 2019!Nebula's POV. I like that even though Thanos is dead in the main timeline/original universe, a different version of him rises up to take his place.

God, Clint and Natasha go to Vormir and it's terrible. Red Skull is appropriately creepy, but the whole premise pisses me off so much. Natasha and Clint fight about who gets to jump; Natasha "wins," causing Clint and everyone else much angst. I hated this in Infinity War, and I hate it even more now. I hate that the movie goes out of its way multiple times to explain there's no way to bring her back, even as it violates causality to replace Gamora. I hate that the only way to get the Soul Stone is to play the stupid game. There ought to be a way to beat it without sacrificing someone, and even if there isn't, why is it always the female characters who get sacrificed for manpain? I knew this was coming, so it wasn't as bad as it would have been otherwise, but I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it.

Anyway, so they all come back, and mourn Nat. Continuous emphasis on how she's gone forever. Fuck you all, writers.

Bruce snaps to bring everybody back. He can tolerate gamma radiation. I love the line "It's like I was made for this". Bruce, honey, you're a rock star.

Tony is so freakin' specific about "bring everybody back but don't erase the last five years" because he loves his baby girl so much and cant bear that he have to lose someone himself. All kinds of logistical problems are going to happen as a result, but does he care? No! It would have been just as easy--probably easier--to snap Thanos out of existence right before the Snapture, or to allow Thor to slice off Thanos's head in time. That would also create continuity issues, but I think it would be a Stable Time Loop--and honestly, there are already so many continuity issues, I'm not sure why that would stop the writers. Anyway, I think we can all agree it would have been better if there HADN'T BEEN A FIVE YEAR TIME SKIP and maybe like six months or something, that would have been more manageable for everyone.

(and also if just Thanos is dusted and not the stones, the stones would still exist, although maybe it's for the best that they've been destroyed??)

But evil!Nebula has infiltrated the group, and opens the time machine to bring 2014!Thanos forward right after Bruce's snap brings all the dusted back. How she does this, I'm not sure exactly; is it even explained? Whatever. Plot demands it, so she does. They get Pym particles from somewhere. I don't know.

Anyway, so the Georgia car headquarters is blown to smithereens by an alien spaceship. The lake starts falling into the crater. Clint has the gauntlet with all the stones and is chased by space wolves. Thank goodness he still has exploding arrows.

Good!Nebula manages to convince new!Gamora to betray Thanos (it doesn't take much, tbh), but has to kill her evil!self. Ow. Poor Nebula gets traumatized AGAIN.

Steve wielding Mjolnir is not only a continuation of a brick joke from several movies ago, but also a Crowning Moment of Awesome. So is Dr. Strange opening the portals for everyone to show up and fight. Huge CGI battle ensures. There's no blood and everything's a mess and it's hard to keep track of everything, but man, those Chitauri bone-whale spaceships are cool. Carol Danvers knows how to make an entrance. Peter Parker is awkward and endearing, as per usual. Instant Kill Mode gets a workout.

Wanda attacking Thanos is heartbreaking. "I don't know you." "You took everything from me." HEY TONY, UNDOING THE SNAP THE WAY YOU INSISTED THEY DO IT MEANS VISION IS NEVER COMING BACK! Poor Wanda. I liked Vision. I'm sorry he's gone.

Thanos’s remark that next time he’ll make it so nobody remembers the horror of the Snap and they’ll be grateful to him and stop fighting it is truly horrifying. The Thanos in the first part seemed really resigned to dying, and it’s such a contrast. Thanos is right, of course--he would have gotten away with it “if it weren’t for those meddling kids” and the best way to prevent that is to re-write the universe to Make It So. 

Thanos is such a smug, priveleged dudebro. Have I mentioned I hate him? I fucking hate him. He’s like the epitome of Smug Male Privilege crossed with Galactic Warlord. In some ways he’s the galactic foil to Tony Stark, which makes it all the more fitting that Stark is the one to take him down. Thanos is willing to sacrifice his loved ones for his vision of reality, and Tony fights to preserve them, even when it would be “better” not to. (I put “better” in quotes because I freely admit it’s a moral grey area with the whole “five year time skip” thing.) Stark starts off alone, and then dies surrounded by friends and loved ones; Thanos starts off with an army and a family and dies defeated and alone, twice over.

Stephen Strange holding back the waterfall--and gesturing to Tony across the battlefield--both great. "If I tell you, it won't happen." Anti-self-fullfilling prophecy, which amuses me. When all hope is lost, Tony reveals he has the stones and delivers the ultimate one-line--"I am Iron Man" before he snaps. Tony could have snapped for <i>anything</i>, he had ultimate power in that moment, but all he does is turn Thanos and his army into dust. Of course, Thanos is the last one to go, because it's more Dramatic that way.

Tony dies. Pepper gently but firmly pushes Peter out of the way. Peter Quill meets Gamora and Gamora kicks him in the nuts, unimpressed. I know she and Quill will probably get back together in later movies and it will annoy me then just as much as it did before, because he's so much cooler than he is. I had to stop watching the first GotG film because of all the ass shots of Gamora; ugh.  

Everyone is appropriately sad and Tony's funeral at the Georgia lakehouse is very well attended in neatly thematic groupings. Nick Fury watches from the porch.

Have I mentioned how much I hate the "posthumous letter from emotionally constipated father figure that makes the audience and his loved ones cry, but which absolves him from any actual emotional development or growth" trope? It happens in the Stranger Things S3 finale and it happens here. Thanks, I hate it. Morgan Stark is cute and sad. God, Happy annoys me so much. I've hated him ever since he was so fucking condescending to "Natalie Rushman"--Natasha's alter ego in Iron Man 2. GOD. There is no justice here.

Steve volunteers to fulfill Bruce's promise to the Ancient One by returning all the stones. (It’s sweet how earnest Bruce is about this. I mean, Bruce has always cared about preserving the universe, even ones he doesn’t necessarily live in, but still. I find it endearing.) The movie doesn't say, but judging from the looks that Bucky and Steve give each other before Steve leaves, Bucky already knows what Steve is planning - to go the long way home and to give the shield to Sam. Bucky also knows where to look for Steve - on the bench by the lake. Still in Georgia; they got lots of tax credits for filming in Georgia, I will never be able to see this place as anywhere but Georgia.

Sam taking the shield breaks my heart, but in a good way. Nice set up for Falcon and Winter Soldier, I see what you did there, Disney.

The movie did an okay job of reminding people that Peggy existed by having Steve gaze longingly at her portrait in the locket and by staring at her through the window when he was at Camp Lehigh in the 1970s. Still, I don't blame fans for forgetting about her, given that she hasn't been a major character since The First Avenger, and died in Civil War. Both Bucky/Steve and Steve/Nat interactions are fresher in audience's minds - even Steve/Agent 13, although I guess that was just a side plot that didn't go anywhere.

Steve staying on through time the long way would make a LOT more sense if the time travel in this film worked like other time travel movies, but it's not, so it's just kind of weird. Literally, if it weren't for this ONE THING, I think the writers could have gotten away with "parallel universes" instead of time travel--especially since there's a 2014!version of Gamora around! How did Thanos do the snap the first time if his 2014!self jumped forward to 2019 and got killed there "before" he did the snap? It makes NO SENSE unless you assume the Quantum Realm takes you to identical-but-parallel universes instead of the past of the original universe.

(Yes, I KNOW Bruce says time travel doesn't work like you think it does--but I'm not sure it works the way this MOVIE thinks it does, either. Like I said, parallel universes all the way, except for the Steve 'n' Peggy bit.)

Also, I know Peggy gets married, but we never learn her husband’s name/see his face as far as I know, so it’s entirely possible Steve DID create a stable time loop by traveling back to the 1940s after his ship went down in the ice, and married Peggy and stayed out of the historical record to avoid Breaking Time any further.

So, while I can't say Steve's decision to go back for that dance wasn't foreshadowed enough, or is inconsistent with one version of his character arc, it pains me from a shipping perspective. I like Steve/Peggy, but I really love Steve/Nat, and there's no reason Steve couldn't have gone back in time and gotten together with Nat in the same way it's implied he got together with Peggy. The fact that he doesn't mention her name just makes it easier for my shipper heart to believe. (Because if he says Nat, Sam's going to make fun of him.)

Also: Steve meets Red Skull on Vormir. Please. I know there are fics about this, but still. I know the movie is three hours long, but this seems like a terrible omission, even so. Just saying. Maybe a special extra bonus scene??

AND WHY CAN'T STEVE BRING NAT BACK IF HE RETURNS THE SOUL STONE?? Over and over again, they say "A soul for a soul"-- so if Steve returns the Soul Stone he should get a soul back, am I right, am I right? COULD YOU FUCKING BE CONSISTENT, WRITERS?

(Can you tell I'm bitter? No? No? Let me shout some more then.) 

I’m also not sure how the super-soldier serum works with aging, but I’m willing to buy that it doesn’t make Steve immune to normal aging - or at least gave him a lifespan twice that of most people, unless you want to chalk the first fifty years or so up to the ice or whatever. But that’s a minor world-building quibble at best.

Okay, so that was Avengers: Endgame. Glad I didn't see this in theaters -- I would have gotten too angry and too long for me to watch in one sitting without having to get up to pee. I think I would describe it as "adequate" --covered all the major beats, followed the standard scriptwriter format, some fun character moments. Very Obviously Written By Men based on its portrayal of family life and treatment of female characters, and the time travel makes no sense if you look closely at it.

But let's face it, it made bajillions of dollars, so as far as Disney's concerned, it was a home run.

So would I watch more Marvel films? The answer is, yes, maybe, but I feel so "meh" about the MCU now that Nat is dead. I'll make decisions on a case by case basis about what movies I watch on DVD after their release, but I'm not getting my hopes up I'll feel excited. There's always fic and fandom; I just don't know if canon has anything to say that interests me anymore. (Kinda how I feel about new Star Wars to be honest.)