#anyway someone get a baseball bat and hit my head real hard I think that'd be helpful
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also like. I guess this is just a thing that happens like once a week now?? that I feel like absolute shit for being fucking stupid about someone (again), I mean. I could really use a break.
#every time this happens I think about how I'd tell a therapist about this if I ever find one again#and it feels so unbelievably stupid#'oh yeah so. there's this 76 year old man and I'm so obsessed with him that I can't think about anything else at all ever. and this happens#all the time! I'll just get obsessed with some random person (guy) and everything will be about that for months until it either ends on its#own (which is terrible because then I feel like I'm dead) OR my brain finds someone else else to obsess over :) '#THAT'S NOT A REAL PROBLEM and it's so embarrassing and also it seriously controls my entire fucking life and I don't have any control over#it and it feels very bad sometimes#anyway someone get a baseball bat and hit my head real hard I think that'd be helpful#personal
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