#anyway i've always been skinny and scrawny and so for my entire childhood and adolescence my eating habits were heavily scrutinized
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#ready for the dumbest thing you will ever read okay here we go#tw ed discussion#sorta#anyway i've always been skinny and scrawny and so for my entire childhood and adolescence my eating habits were heavily scrutinized#by everyone around me because they were all convinced i had an eating disorder#and like most of my family are just skinny yk we are scrawny and lanky and it's just how we are#but i was so defensive about it bc not only was everyone SO suspicious of me all the time (never my equally skinny brother but w/e)#they treated me like i was doing something wrong and bad and should be punished it was very fucked up#so anyway now i'm an adult and i'm like oh maybe i do have kind of an unhealthy relationship with food#nothing related to weight at all just related in part probably to feeling shamed for my eating habits no matter what they were#and partly to money anxiety like i never want to eat all of something i'm always saving and hoarding bc i don't wanna have to buy more#but first and foremost i am stubborn and proud i am a taurus through and through#and i simply cannot admit to anyone but myself and my beloved tumblrinas that this is a problem for me#bc it means those motherfuckers were RIGHT. and i would rather DIE than admit they were right.#this is the same reason i refuse to inquire about an autism diagnosis that would mean admitting that my mother was right#and i simply can't have that
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