#anyway i'm going through my inbox so expect some answers in the next few days <3< /div>
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✦ hello everyone! im very sorry abt the longer then expected break, but im doing much better now so im excited to get back to posting! and i also apologise for the extra long wait but i am going to be making a few changes however
mostly just that im gonna start posting edits on a queue now! it'll be 5 posts a day, but for some reason this style of posting like i was doing before my big breaks just seems to work better for my brain so yeah! asks will still be answered but posts won't be linked in them anymore, bc of this anyone with custom anon tags will have the requests themselves tagged now (im going to go back and do thus retroactively too) as well as actually being mentioned in the body of the post; i.e. saying "for 🌼 anon", instead of just "for anonymous"
im gonna give myself some time to fill up the queue and work through the backlog of requests, so I'm going to start posting requests again next monday, and the inbox will stay open til then even if it continues to be overfull. i have also increased the inbox max requests to 30!
but anyway, thank you all so much for the continued support and being so patient with me, im wishing you all the best! 💙
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alright so shawngus + the lyrics “you wrote 100 letters just for me/ and i find them in my closet in the pockets of my jeans/ now i'm constantly reminded of the time i was 19/ every single one's forgotten in a laundromat machine”
(like this is gus 5ish years after shawn left after graduation without saying anything. gus went a couple of months without hearing from him and then shawn started sending letters/postcards and he never really explained himself but just acted like everything was normal (ok maybe he apologised a bit). and gus never responded to any of them bc he was mad (going off the same theme as my other ask), and then these vibes).
okay so LMAO i was planning on writing a proper fic out of this (still might tbh who knows i sure don't) but since it has taken so long already and i feel bad for letting this ask in my inbox, here's an outline? i guess? went kinda jackwild with it but stuck to the lyrics at least so hope you like it :P
after graduation shawn just up and left. gus is left a little too shaken up, but after some days he notices how the signs were there, shawn always talking about leaving, learning other stuff, etc etc. he thinks it was kind of inevitable, you can't really stop shawn spencer, can you? doesn't mean he's not angry.
only thing gus has wrt shawn's status is whatever he talked about prior to leaving, and the little note he left at the Spencers' fridge (it said like, left and not coming back anytime soon, will keep in touch, tell gus i'm sorry). gus has no idea what shawn means by keeping in touch, but after a couple months, his parents call him about a letter from shawn addressed to gus and if they should send it to him.
it becomes a monthly? bi-weekly? thing, then: shawn sends a letter to the gusters' house in santa barbara, and they send it to gus at college. when gus goes back to sb, he either goes to his parents' house to pick up the letter, or they send it to his house.
the subject of the letter range from updates on shawn's life to miscellaneous ramblings. the first letter was an explanation and apology to gus, the awkwardness palpable in the words. the following letters still had this feeling of i wanna keep in touch, but i'm not sure i should. shawn always ended the letters with some questions on how gus was doing, first in hope he would answer, and later on just more out of routine. he would never get angry at gus for not responding, knows too well gus has every right to still be mad at him. shawn got worried gus wouldn't like his letters, especially after he inicially never got a reply, but, yknow, he never got a reply, nothing saying him to stop, and he would rather bother gus with his business then to hurt gus even more.
so! this keeps going on for the 10 years shawn's away, until he comes back (the last letter he sent said he was coming back, so it's not such a surprise to gus when he arrives at his doorstep a little out of breath bc he had to ask the gusters where gus was currently at). they don't really mention the letter, tbh. like, after some days, shawn asks gus if he ever got his letters, and when gus answers yes, shawn asks if he read then, to which gus days yes, and after a beat he days thank you and doesn't really elaborate, and shawn's not sure he has the right to pry, so he just smiles at gus and leaves the subject.
UNTIL when gus's moving, he calls shawn to help him pack and stuff (completely forgot how moving works lmao sorry), and while shawn's rummaging through gus's closet, he finds this box? chest? idk in the back of the closet, behind all this stuff, with some dust over it, all worn out at the sides, with a note on its top that reads shawn's letters. the box is clearly old, and probably needs some taken care of, but it's a sentimental thing, yknow? you don't keep something like that for so long if it doesn't hold some sentimental value to you.
shawn doesn't open it outright, he's not a jerk, but he does hold it and just sits in the middle of the bedroom, not really sure what to do. he stays like that for so long gus starts to worry, calling for shawn until he finds him there, still a little in shock.
"those are my letter," gus nods, "the ones i sent you while i was away, those letter."
"yes, shawn, those letter."
"you kept them." shawn's starting to get teary eyed now, but he doesn't want to wet the box, god knows what salt water will do to it.
"you expected me to throw away my best friend's letters?"
"i don't know what i expected, to be honest."
it's been, what? some few years since shawn came back? anyway, their dynamic came back to what it used to be, and the feelings they had for each other just grew strong (they never went away, is the thing, it just wasn't very apparent when they weren't together all the time). yet, it's kinda awkward. new territory and stuff, yknow? they stare at each other for a while, like a while while, until gus just sits down besides shawn (who has not stopped crying btw, but is trying his hardest to not wet the box), picks the box off his hands and sets it aside, and then, very very softly, just cups shawn's face, not really cleaning his tears.
"shawn," and is gus also crying? look, goddamn sue him, it's all very emotional, "thank you" and he kisses him. not a hungry kiss, though it feels like something they both have been starving for, or a rushed kiss, because they have all the time in the world. it's soft, sweet, but reassuring, certain, this is what i want, thank you, thank you, thank you.
#asks.txt#a: fruitygus#psych#psy: a friendship for the ages#*m: au#*m: psych#HEY long time no see right lmao sorry for taking so long totally my bad#anyway i'm going through my inbox so expect some answers in the next few days <3#also it's late and i don't feel like going through this so have it in its rawest form#(what am i even saying i always send my stuff in its rawest form? anyway i will shut up now)
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AHHHH! I loved your virgin shiggy post, I was wondering if you could make a part two with reader giving shigaraki a tit-fuck in an empty classroom, with degradation kink, and exhibition kink! I'm sorry if this too horny - Anon ♥♥
haha.. im back i guess. Its been a couple weeks but i have some time to start writing again :)) checking my inbox, i did NOT expect this many people wanting a pt2 to my virgin shiggy post. prolly my fault for holding it off for so long :/ so i made it longer than i planned but count this a thanks for 200+ followers!! <3 anyways i really need to catch up on my inbox but expect more from me !!
➨ paring — Virgin! (not anymore) Tomura Shigaraki x Fem! Bully! Reader
➨ warnings — Sub! Shigaraki, Dom! Reader, mommy kink, slight masturbation, humiliation, degradation, begging, exhibition, tit-fucking, hand-job, cum denial
PART 1
Shigaraki messed up. It’s been a week. A week since you cornered him in a room and took his virginity.
He still remembers what you told him when you left— “Take a shower tomorrow. Also wear a different top for god’s sake. If you do... I might let you touch me.”
Shigaraki beat himself over for agreeing to it as soon as he got home. You were his bully. One of the people making his school experience even more unbearable than it already was.
Yet he completely was undone as soon as you placed your hands on him, and you knew it. He just didn’t know what you wanted.
Dick? No, you were pretty and popular— you could probably get some from more desirable guys. To bully him? Sure, you said mean things to him during the encounter but the bullying was always around your friends.
For a whole school week, he stayed home. Making up some bullshit to the school that he had the flu. Frankly, he was scared to go. How was he supposed to face you?
Did you tell anyone? Secretly record it? Was he currently the laughing stock of the entire school for begging to continue to fuck you?
But even away from school, you had an effect on him. He’s still a horny guy. Now, jerking off wasn’t the same anymore, not when he had some taste of pussy thanks to you.
Shigaraki would always end up thinking back to you, even with porn he couldn’t get you out of his head. His hands clamping around his cock weren’t the same as your pussy, same with the bodies of other women.
He found himself indulging into mommy kink porn, something he didn’t really get off from before you. Shigaraki pretend it was you talking to him, bouncing onto his lap and letting him touch you.
But after a bit— Shigaraki found it going no where, they weren’t you.
Cursing, he would always finish early. And not in a good way. In a way where he was left unsatisfied. Putting his painfully hard cock back into his sweats and trying to sleep his horny-ness away.
Shigaraki realized he needed you, you talking to him, you around his cock. Now, he regretted not sticking to his word. But he’ll make it up for you.
You were quite mad. Shigaraki hasn’t been to school since that day. How ungrateful, you literally let him put his dick in you and now he ghosts you in real life.
You fully expected him to be at school the next day with the way he begged you to stay, clean and ready for you. So imagine your annoyance in seeing him not show up for several days.
But today was different, the newly ex-virgin actually showed up. To your surprise, he still did more than you expected him to do despite being a week late.
Shigaraki had changed his hoodie to a whole new one, it looked recently bought. As well as his hair, looking more soft than greasy like it typically was. Though he didn’t style it, it still overhanging on his face.
Still, he definitely looked a lot better, not enough for others to notice but enough for you to smirk at your work.
Both of you didn’t interact with each other besides a few glances until lunch. You guys sat on completely different ends of the cafeteria, him sitting in a small corner table while you sat in a large one.
Shigaraki looked fidgety, meekly looking up every few minutes to watch you interact with your friends. He was waiting for school to end, planning to catch you at the same empty classroom you took his virginity in.
Though you had completely other plans.
“Hey, I’ll be right back.” You got up from your table, grabbing your bag from off the floor. “To?” One of your friends asked, not looking up from their phone.
“Some nerd, he’s gonna do my homework we got last period. Apparently, his parents found out he’s been doing our homework and now he's gotta do them during lunch. Gotta make sure they do it right.” You lied through your teeth, hoping they would just back off.
They didn’t look up, instead pulling their homework worksheet out of their binder with one hand, putting it in yours, “Get him to do mine.”
You rolled your eyes, grabbing the paper, “Yeah.” You walked away, crumbling the paper to throw it in the trash. You’ll just say you lost it. Not like they’ll do anything about it.
Narrowed eyes landed on Shigaraki, his eyes currently focused on his phone. You strudded your way to him, smirking to yourself.
Shigaraki almost jumped when he felt something brush against his leg. Looking up, he was met with you sitting down next to him.
“Hey.” You said, placing your bag on the table and putting your last period’s homework on the table.
“You’re good at chemistry, right?” You questioned, shifting through your bag for something to write with.
“...Well— I... um...—“ Shigaraki stuttered, unsure of what was currently going on.
“Great.” You pulled the phone out of his clammy hands, replacing it with a pencil. “...What?” He tilted his head, was this a joke? Did you completely forget about a week ago?
“Hm...? Well, get onto it.” You uttered him on, putting your chin in your hands, eyeing him. Reluctantly, he looked back to paper, beginning to work on it.
After around 5 minutes, you brushed against him even more, getting close to his side. “What does that say?” You pushed yourself further into his side, your chest touching his arms.
Shigaraki cursed himself for already becoming red, he pants tightening around his crotch as last week flashed into his head again.
“Um... m-mole is a unit of measur— Hmph!“ He held back a loud whine when your right hand traveled to his crotch.
“What— what are you doing?” He asked under his breath, holding back small whimpers as you palmed him, “Where have you been?” You questioned sternly, upset he kept you waiting.
“I’m sorry... I got sick.” He bluffed, it was too embarrassing to admit he was scared. With how he left you hanging, he expected people to be laughing at him the moment he stepped onto school grounds.
“Sick? A whole week?” You hummed, you could already tell he was lying. Still, you were proud that he even bothered to make it up to you by fixing himself up.
“With your diet of energy drinks and chips, I’m surprised you’re not dead.” You decided to let it go, he was just nervous to show up.
Yet you think he deserves a bit of punishment.
Shigaraki felt heavy as you teased the zipper of his jeans. He immediately tensed, “Wait— now..?” He saw you narrow your eyes, “Something wrong?”
“There’s people here!” He whispered yelled, flinching as he felt you unzip his jeans ever so slowly, trailing your finger along his exposed boxers.
“So? You’re just some loser in the corner, nobody will notice if you aren’t obvious.”
Shigaraki could already feel pre-cum form at his tip, staining his boxers a bit. You giggled a bit, feeling the dampness of his boxers. “Already?” Shigaraki shook his head, “I... I haven’t came since... that day.”
You laughed a bit louder than you expected to, good thing the cafeteria was already loud. “How sweet of you. Couldn’t get it on?”
Shigaraki focused his eyes on your paper, muffled moans caught at the back of his throat as you freed his cock from his boxers.
Now slowly pumping him, Shigaraki dropped the pen of the table. He wanted to do something with his hands, to touch you.
He moved his hand to your thigh, but of course, you didn’t allow him, “You’re too eager. Get back to work.” You ordered. Shigaraki was about to question you but you stopped him with stroking his cock faster.
Both of you continued this way for a bit, him answering questions with his shaky hands while you jerked him off.
Shigaraki could’ve sworn he felt eyes on him a couple of times, yet every time he looked up, nobody was even batting an eye in his direction.
He could feel his cock twitch at the excitement of being caught. How would they explain one of the most popular girls giving an outcast a hand-job under the table?
As he got to the last question— he was already drooling on the paper, mouth clenched shut to avoid moaning and panting to be let out.
You could tell he was about to cum, the writing on the paper progressively getting sloppier as time went on. “M-mommy...” Shigaraki whispered just enough for you to hear, “Hmm, you want to cum?”
He nodded furiously, he was extremely pent up and needed release. And just as he thought, you were the only one who can give it to him.
Shigaraki whimpered when you pulled away, looking up at the clock and collecting your stuff. “Then after school, room 204. Actually listen and show up when I tell you this time.”
You walked away just in time for the bell to go off, signifying that lunch was over. Leaving Shigaraki, once again, a mess.
Here he was again, feeling nostalgic as you walked into the empty classroom. Shigaraki easily grew again while anticipating this, the tent prominent in his jeans.
“Y’know, good job for showering and changing.” You gave him praise, Shigaraki turning red from your words. “This... this means I can touch you, right?”
You nodded, “Yeah. I actually keep promises.” He ignored the jab at him, it didn’t matter how mean you were— he was going to touch you finally.
Shigaraki awkwardly shuffled towards you, raising his hands up to look at you with wide eyes. He slowly paced a hand on your boobs, trying to see if this was just some test and you’ll get mad at him.
When he didn’t get anything back, he immediately started to dough on your clothed breast, cupping them. Then, he moved to unbutton your shirt, already seeing you thought ahead and took off your bra before coming here.
He fully took off your shirt, not wasting time on latching his mouth onto one of your nipples, both hands playing with your breasts. Shigaraki was basically humping your leg, sucking your nipples like a baby.
You giggled a bit, patting his head. He looked up at you with a clouded look, pure joy in his eyes as he finally got to touch you.
Looking back down at him, another idea popped up— you already took his virginity and gave him his first hand-job, whats another one of his firsts? “Shigaraki, do you want to feel really good?” He unlatched from your nipple, “I can be inside you?”
“No.” He frowned a bit, but perked up when you trailed your fingers on his boxers. “What if I put this,” You pointed at your boobs, “In between these?”
Shigaraki was already down, eagerly sitting on a desk while you got on your knees. He freed his cock, putting it in between your slick pushed together breasts, thanks to his sucking earlier.
You wasted no time on stroking it up and down with your breasts. He moaned feeling the softness of the valley between your chest, your breasts around his cock giving him warmth as you stimulated him.
Shigaraki was definitely feeling great, you even let him bend down and grab your breasts to control the speed of the tit-job.
Though, Shigaraki wanted more. You were giving him all these things, a hand-job, a tit-fuck. He’s been inside you once and he didn’t get to do what he wanted in the first place. To cum inside his mommy.
He feels a knot grow in his lower abdomen, but he doesn’t wanna cum yet. Instead, he pulled himself away from you, much to your confusion.
“What? You literally were about to cum and I was gonna let you!” You groaned, getting up as Shigaraki faced you.
“...Mommy, can I fuck you?”
“No, you didn’t come to school for a whole week. If you really wanted to you would have showed up.”
Shigaraki turned red, sputtering as he held onto your arm, “Please! I just want you cum inside you.” He whined, tears pricking at the chance of not getting to have sex with you after all this time.
You looked at him stoned faced as he begged, even falling to his knees dramatically to add to his desperation. “Fucking virgins, man.”
Shigaraki felt himself be pushed down, your skirt and panties on the floor. You straddled onto his length, moans filling the room quickly.
“Yes! Thank you, thank you, mommy!” Shigaraki thrusted his hips into yours, feeling even more over-joyed when he was allowed to touch your chest while you were on top of him this time.
Shigaraki desperately missed this, now he remembers why his hand didn’t compare to your tight pussy after trying to jerk off. He found his own rhythm quickly, muffled ‘mommy’s due to his mouth on your breasts.
“I’m doing this because you cleaned up, if you didn’t I would’ve left you to your own sad-ass devices already.” You lied, honestly, you hated the idea what he possibly was ignoring you by not showing up to school.
Even then, you’ve grown a bit found of him. His body, his expressions, his voice, everything really. It didn’t bother you as much when you saw his still messy hair, you were just glad to see him.
Though, you’d never admit it. Instead, it showed through the way you were tightening around his cock, panting as he moaned into and out your body. Shigaraki very quickly wrapped his arms around you, both of you on the edge.
“Fuck— Shigaraki. Cum, cum for mommy, okay?” You ordered, Shigaraki more than ready to fulfill it.
“Ah, thank you! Thank you, mommy! I’m gonna cum inside you!” Both of you rided out your highs, Shigaraki filling you so much it started to drip outside your full cunt.
He fell on top of you despite you initially being on top, you wanted to scold him but honestly couldn’t bring yourself to right now.
The room quieted down, the only words being exchanged were by Shigaraki softly muttering “Thank you, mommy.” into your neck
#sub shigaraki#tomura shiragaki#dark fic#dom reader#dark#bully reader#fem reader#tw degradation#tw humiliation#tw mommy kink#bnha smut#bnha x reader#x reader#shigaraki x reader#mommy
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Hi! I've been feeling really down, as well as frustrated and sad these past few days and I guess I'm here for a bit of reassurance maybe? Your blog was what opened my eyes to Ziam and also to the stunt ot4 v Zayn and all that, about a year ago, so I'm quite new. Your masterposts especially have been very informative! So basically I trust your judgement in this as someone who's been here a while and gone through it. Anyway, I completely believe in Ziam along with Larry now (been a Larrie (1)
(2) a long while) and I also believe all bbg's are fake etc. The thing I still get confused about/doubt sometimes, is the whole Harry&Louis & Zayn 'feud' thing. Most days I'm sure in my heart that all the twitter fights and post-interviews being mad at Z is all fake and part of a narrative. Zayn honestly even put lyrics to a song about a fight before actual fight for fucks sake?! Also it was all so ridiculous and public, childish, etc. it can't possibly have been real. Then his 'falling out
(3) with NB in the end. Also what ELSE (if not that 'fight') could they have been mad at him for? For 'leaving' because of his health (or whatever they said was the reason)? And after all this time still being mad/or at least bringing it up? Sounds very unlike H&L too doesn't it? Then I remember rbb/sbb, and this is something I've researched TOO MUCH honestly. Some people still refuse to even admit it was there or that it meant ANYTHING. But that goddamn yellow smiley was there several times
(4) after the 'twitter fight'. Why would that be the case? Also Ziam being together, and Louis being so close with Liam and hating on his man? It just doesn't add up anywhere. Sorry I know this is just me sounding very insecure about it all and atm I kinda am. I was having a discussion with a Larrie the other day. One of the bigger blogs with a big influence and lots of people reblogged and agreed with them, when I was trying to point out how I think 1D as a 'whole' are still being under some
(5) form of contract or image clause at the very least. They said the whole contract thing is fanfiction at this point (besides Louis essentially) and the other boys are all free to do whatever. They also don't believe in Ziam or that Zayn is friends with the boys at all. Mentioned how Harry is still 'salty' about him in interviews etc etc. They are so SURE of themselves. But yeah even though I mostly KNOW I still doubt on this because of the fucked up narratives. what if H&L / Zayn really did
(7) has been a stunt? Not saying they hang out as best friends these days maybe, what with their own lives and pandemic on top of it, but do you still think they're 'family'/ot5forever'? I honestly feel like I get gaslighted even by Larries these days and it's not much fun to follow them anymore :( Seeing Harry with Niall made me smile though! Gives me at least some hope that they still are close xx //This got very long, I'm so sorry. You can answer in tags if you wish :)
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Number 6 never seems to have made it to my inbox. Good job numbering them, though, because I never would have realized one was missing otherwise.
Anyway, I hate to say it, but talking to Larries is a fraught prospect. Almost all of the people who still call themselves Larries don’t believe in Ziam and it’s because they’ve never bothered to actually look at the evidence. They don’t treat all of the boys with the same respect or interest that they treat Harry and Louis, so any time you try to convince them of a stunt related to Liam, Zayn, or Niall, they’re likely going to make their decision based on nothing but bias and refuse to budge on it no matter how much evidence you have. Taking their word on Louis being the only one still under contract/sabotaged when they clearly don’t pay any attention to what’s actually going on with the other boys would be foolish. You can always try to change a Larrie’s mind and maybe there should always be people that do try, but from my perspective, it’s just a depressing and infuriating situation to put yourself in.
At best, I would have those conversations privately, especially if the blog has a lot of influence. A blog with a lot of influence has ulterior motives to not changing their views publicly because if they do, they may well lose followers. You may have a chance of getting them to look at evidence if you’re talking in private though.
I know the whole 1D friendship thing is hard right now because it’s been more than 5 years since they’ve really interacted. We’ve gotten some Niam, Nouis, and Lilo here and there, but most of that is just talk even, no pics. Because we have no immediate evidence of their friendship in front of us, all we have to rely on is interviews which we KNOW are BS-narrative machines. It’s hard to ignore them when it’s all we have, but we should ignore them anyway because past experience has taught us just how much interviews push stunt narratives.
I would actually say the whole Narry outing recently gives us more to believe in than anything else. If Harry and Niall hung out completely in public and we only found out about it through a picture a week or two later that could easily have never been identified by a fan, then it’s pretty likely that all the boys have managed to hang out whenever they want without being noticed, right? Especially if they went to each other’s houses instead of to a public hiking trail. There’s so much going on behind the scenes that we don’t have access to or knowledge of.�� Zayn could have hung out with any one of the boys at any time because we hardly know where he is. He’s almost never even on social media, so there are huge chunks of time where he’s unaccounted for.
The hiatus is hard specifically because of a lack of new information and because the status quo (in terms of the BS narrative) has had no reason to change for a long time. I’ve said it before, but with Zayn’s situation, the only time after hiatus started that it makes narrative and business sense to reverse the “feud” narrative is leading up to a reunion. That means we most likely WILL NOT see any improvement until a reunion approaches and with the pandemic, that’s definitely not happening this year and probably not even next. It sucks, but the status quo of BS being maintained is what we should expect right now and just because it IS being maintained isn’t a sign of anything having worsened. It’s just logical. If you want to use the hype of a reconciliation to get fans excited, to sell tickets, to earn money, etc., then you need to wait until a reunion so that you HAVE tickets to sell and money to earn.
I would say hold on to the logical conclusions you can come to from the time when we had a lot of information to go off of (the OTRA tour and just after) and try not to read into anything happening now because there’s just about NOTHING happening right now and there’s just not enough data to find patterns and draw conclusions about the reality behind the fakery.
#one direction#bakagamieru#I hope that helps#when I say 'Larries' I don't mean everyone that believes in Larry#because I'm pretty sure most people who believe in Ziam also believe in Larry#but pretty much none of them call themselves Larries#Anonymous
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Chapter Twenty
A/N: yo. so I'm back at uni and work is a little hectic. sorry uploads haven't been as regular, but I'm still loving making these moodboards. keep requesting folks. much love
Warning: angst, swearing
w/c: 2.1k+
Chapter Twenty
You winced as you walked to the kitchen the next morning. Bruises had formed overnight and left your skin mottled, hickeys punctuating them with with red. You still bore Ben’s handprint like a stamp of ownership. It stung sharply as you sat down.
“Morning my love,” Ben smiled, kissing you on the cheek. “How’re you doing?”
“A little sore. Sitting is… challenging.”
“Oh, but you took it so well, princess.”
“Be careful using that name,” you said darkly. It was reserved for very specific circumstances.
He smirked, then asked, “Can I get you an ice pack?”
You shook your head, “No, baby, I’m okay.”
He was particularly affectionate with you that morning, as he always was after nights like that. It was as though he felt he needed to make it up to you, despite the fact that you probably enjoyed it even more than he did. He kissed your forehead as he laid your breakfast in front of you, and stroked your thigh under the table as you ate. He glanced over at you often, and smiled warmly whenever you caught him looking.
“You look beautiful this morning,” he beamed. “Love looks good on you.”
A warm laugh burst out of you like birds from a cage, “That is the cheesiest thing you have ever said!”
You leaned across and wound your hand around the back of his neck, exploring the softness of his skin there. “But I do love you.” When your lips met it was like the setting sun on a summer day in London, golden rays illuminating the divine in what before seemed mundane.
“I love you too,” he cooed.
He insisted you stay in for the morning, so you sat at the breakfast table for hours. It sometimes still felt like a novelty to be able to just sit with him and talk, not through a phone or a computer screen, not worrying about wifi signal or your responsibilities. Ben’s hand rested lazily on yours, his pinky finger occasionally stroking the back of your hand. Every time he did it you smiled.
You were only interrupted by the buzz of your phone in your pocket, indicating an email. You wouldn’t usually look at work stuff while your were hanging out with Ben, but your body went on auto-pilot as you unlocked your phone and opened the new email in your inbox.
You froze.
The job for which you’d speculatively applied months ago, with a big studio in an expensive new franchise, full in the expectation that you wouldn’t get it so had therefore completely forgotten about, had just been offered to you. You had to reread the email four times to make sure you hadn’t got it wrong, or that you weren’t dreaming — which still felt like a distinct possibility because when Ben spoke his voice sounded so distant from you.
“Y/N? What is it?”
“I’ve been offered a job,” you said more to yourself than to him.
“Congratulations,” he smiled, squeezing your hand. “What for?”
“A new sci-fi franchise. It’s three films, back-to-back, with the possibility of promotion if they like me. The shoot starts in a month in LA.” Even saying it out loud didn’t make it seem more real.
“Oh right. Wow,” he said, distinctly unenthusiastically. Slowly, he retracted his hand, instead clasping it in the other on his lap.
“This is insane,” you laughed. “I applied for this on a whim, I never actually thought I’d get it.”
“Are you going to take it?” There was a bitterness in his voice that brought you back to yourself.
“I’ve only just got the offer through Ben, I don’t know.”
“But you want to, right?”
“Of course I want to. It’s an incredible opportunity for me.”
He huffed and stood, turning his back on you.
“Opportunity to do what? What are you looking for Y/N?”
The question stunned you, you had not anticipated his anger. He was supposed to be excited for you, but when he faced you there was fury in his eyes.
“You’ll spend probably three years in LA to become what, second AD? First? That’s the height of your ambition?”
“No Ben, but this is a huge step—”
“Step towards what goal? Where does you career end? You’re not trying to become a producer, so what?” he spat, venom in his voice.
“I knew you felt weird about that! I knew you didn’t get it.”
“No I don’t get it. I don’t get why you’re actively wasting your time.”
You gawked at him, your anger overtaking your hurt, “So you think my job is a waste of time, do you?”
He started to refute you but rage was already hissing in your throat. “Don’t go getting all ‘holier than thou’ on me, Ben,” you rambled. “Just because I’m behind the camera, doesn’t mean what I do is less valuable. I like being a PA, I enjoy my job. And I’m good at it. I like the rush, the variation, I like problem solving. I like working with creative people, even if some of them are pretentious arseholes,” you shot pointedly. “Don’t be so naïve as to presume we all need exceptional success to validate us.”
He rolled his eyes dismissively, “You know that’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
He huffed loudly, and gesticulated, “My career is here, Y/N, in London.”
“You’re about to go away for five months.” Your temper was starting to bubble like acid.
“That’s hardly three years!”
Barbed words scratched harshly through your throat, “And what exactly makes your career so much more important than mine?”
“What makes your career more important than me?!” he yelled.
You raised your voice to meet his, stomping your foot at the tears threatening to fall, “This isn’t about you.”
“It’s about us,” his voice cracked. He went ominously quiet and all you could hear was your heart thundering in your chest. “You expect us to last if you move to LA for three years?”
“Don’t you dare,” you whispered, tears now spilling uncontrollably down your cheeks, “Don’t you dare ask me to choose.”
“The choice is in front of you, I don’t need to ask,” he spat. With that he turned tail and stormed away. He grabbed a jacket and his keys and left you alone in the apartment that was once his. It wasn’t until you heard the slamming of the door that you shattered into pieces.
———
Who does he think he is?
You made yourself a cup of tea with a heavy clatter of metal on porcelain on marble. You had been oscillating between rage and heartbreak all day, with a barrage of tears accompanying you through it all. As the sun sank lower into the sky your mind rampaged: you couldn’t believe Ben had been so selfish, you couldn’t believe he hadn’t supported you, been excited for you. The fact that you had even been offered the job was a huge achievement but he hadn’t cared at all, much less encouraged you in it. He didn’t even entertain the idea of you going, and him possibly going with you — he could easily get work in the US, especially in LA, for a few years. Maybe he wouldn’t move permanently but he could go back and forth. You’d be long distance a lot of the time anyway, why did it matter if that was based in London or LA? But of course Ben had just fucked off and denied you any opportunity to even discuss the logistics. It was him or the job. No compromise. How could he even ask, when he knew what your answer would be? You had made it very clear from the start that you would never let a man hold you back in your career; it was the reason it had taken so long for you to tell him how you felt. He knew — he knew — what your job meant to you. Did he want you to leave him? Was he giving you an ultimatum because he knew you wouldn’t pick him? As much as you wanted to pick him, as much as you loved him, you made a promise to yourself long ago that you would always choose your job. He was well aware of that.
Of course he doesn’t want you to leave him, you’re being irrational, you thought to yourself, shaking the idea from your head. He loved you, there was no question. But he could bloody well come home and talk to me so I didn’t have to jump to conclusion, or at least answer the phone.
You had called him eight times throughout the day, and been consistently ignored.
The afternoon had well set in by the time you heard keys rattle in the door. You stayed sat at the kitchen table, staring firmly at the wall, until Ben rounded the corner and sat down opposite you.
“So you’ve deigned to come home?” you said bitterly.
Ben sighed, hanging his head, “Can we not do this please, Y/N?”
“Not do what? Not mention the fact that: one, you were a selfish fuck about something great that’s happened for me, and two, you stormed out for literally HOURS and didn’t think to return my calls! I didn’t know what had happened to you, I had no idea if you were even coming home. At all.”
“I’d never abandon you,” he refuted firmly.
“Really?! Cause it felt an awful lot like you just did!”
You’d been determined not to cry in front of him, you wanted him to know how angry you were, but still tears clouded your vision and left tracks on your cheeks.
“Look, can we have a rational discussion? I’ve been trying to clear my head all day — I didn’t want to come back until I could talk to you calmly.”
With a face like thunder you spat, “I am perfectly capable of being rational and upset at the same time. Do not try and tell me I am being irrational for getting mad at you.”
“No, of course not, that’s not wh—”
“I’m fuming Ben! And I have every right to be.”
“I know. I know, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did and I should have told you where I was.”
You stood in stunned silence, caught off-guard; you had geared yourself up for a screaming match, not an apology.
“Right,” you grumbled.
He rounded the table and came to sit beside you, taking your hand in his. There were grazes on his knuckles.
“We need to work on communication, right?”
You nodded.
“So I’m asking you to listen to me.”
“I can do that,” you whispered.
“I lashed out because I was scared. The thought of you going to LA for three years fucking terrifies me and I don’t want you to go. But I didn’t know how to tell you that, knowing what your work means to you. I didn’t want to ask you to pick me. So I was angry with the situation and angry with myself for not knowing how to deal with it.”
He sighed, heaviness settling into his bones. He watched his fingers tracing shapes over the back of your hand. “I just don’t want to lose you.”
“You should have been excited for me.”
“I am,” he shrugged.
You tilted his chin to make him look at you, “Don’t lie to me, Ben.”
Melancholy-tinged green betrayed him. “I’m trying to be.”
“What do you want me to tell you Ben?
“That you won’t go.”
You had been contemplating it while he’d been gone; whether to go or not. Of course you didn’t want to lose Ben, to leave him on the other side of the world. You’d already had a taste of long-distance and it was bitter on your tongue. But you just couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Sure, the big blockbuster thing wasn’t what you’d done before, or particularly what you wanted, but it gave you steady work for three years (in an industry where that was rare and precious) and possible promotions. Who knew where you’d be in three years? If you didn’t take the job not only would it feel like a betrayal of the person you had worked so hard to be, but you also knew that you’d forever wonder what might have been. And you’d likely resent Ben for not letting you find out.
“You know I can’t do that.”
He nodded, clearly not surprised but crushed none-the-less. Meekly, he asked, “So where does that leave us?”
You gnawed at your lip. “I don’t know.”
#kind of magic series#ben hardy#ben hardy x reader#ben hardy x female reader#ben hardy fanfic#benjamin jones#angst
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Heyy! I hope you don't mind but I was so happy when I saw your inbox was open for prompts. I'm gonna send in a few I like best and you can pick whichever one you want. 1, 5, 32, 33, 50, 78, 97, 60. Again, pick WHICHEVER one you want
Definitely can’t complain about having options ahahah I tried to incorporate the ones I didn’t choose anyway, but I wanted to explore a side of Magnus that he would never reflect upon, so I did it through Alec’s POV. Hope you like it!
78. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” + 05. “I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
The thing about dating Magnus Bane is that Alec never knew what he would find when walking into Magnus’ loft. There were nights in which everything was in order and Magnus had just decided to cook dinner or prepare some drinks. Those nights were fun. But there were also nights in which Magnus had summoned three different demons during the day and the invocation pentagrams and hellish burns were still all over the apartment. Those were total chaos.
Not to mention the smell of sulfur. That was, by far, the worse part.
But the truth was a part of Alec was always excited to see what would happen next. Life with Magnus was a whole new world to him, one that Alec never thought was possible. Magnus Bane was the most interesting person Alec knew, the most interesting person he would ever know. So yes, sometimes coming home to Magnus meant dodging a few suspicious-looking ingredients on the way to the bedroom, but Alec loved it.
He loved it because the chaos, the madness, the genius - it was all Magnus. It was his process, the way he worked. Trial and error, Magnus would try everything he could think of to solve a problem. Considering how much Magnus knew, that could mean a lot of attempts depending on the task ahead. Not all of them exactly legal.
Apparently, that night was one of those nights in which Magnus was so engrossed by his work, he didn’t even notice Alec walking into the apartment. Magnus was too busy with a heavy book in his hand, walking around his apothecary with Catarina on speaker.
“The thing is,” Magnus continue his line of thinking, eyes glued on the book, “this isn’t a mere abjuration spell. Sure, it blocks intruders from coming into the enchanted site but it does it by burning them alive.” Magnus frowned. “If it has a hint of evocation, I would need to neutralize that before breaking the protection spell. If only I could get my hands on some ancient cursed blood…”
“It could work but is it worth the risk?” Catarina asked from the phone. “Ancient cursed blood is too volatile.”
“Not to mention,” Alec said, letting himself be noticed, “extremely illegal. Hi, Catarina.”
Catarina greeted Alec back as Magnus stopped dead on his track and blinked, looking at Alec. “You’re home early.” It wasn’t an accusation but Alec’s expression must have Magnus realize he should probably elaborate. “Which makes me very happy, but you weren’t supposed to hear that. It’s just a hypothetic conversation.”
Alec snorted. He knew Magnus enough to know legal barriers would not stop him if he had his mind set on something. That was both admirable and worrisome. “What’s that about a spell that burns people alive?”
“A problem that was brought to my attention this morning,” Magnus answered clinically. His brain was clearly still in professional mode. Alec didn’t expect to get much of his boyfriend that night. When Magnus had a puzzle to solve, nothing could distract him.
Not even biological necessities. “And have you eaten anything since?” Alec asked even though he already knew the answer.
“Yes,” Magnus said at the same time that Catarina sighed heavily. “No, he hasn’t.”
“I had a turkey sandwich for lunch,” Magnus protested.
Alec shook his head. “That was yesterday when you came to visit me at the Institute.”
That seemed to genuinely surprise Magnus. “Oh.” He put his book down and picked up the phone. “Now that I think of it, I am starving. Catarina, dearest, thank you for your help. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
“Of course. Good night, boys.”
Once the call was over, Magnus walked up to Alec and kissed him on the cheek. “Can you take care of dinner tonight while I wrap this mess up?”
Nodding, Alec was ready to turn to the kitchen but something made him stop. He stared at Magnus carefully, looking for what had caught his attention. He found it on Magnus’ arm. A burn. Not big at all and almost entirely healed. But a burn that was not there before Alec left for the Institute in the morning.
Alec coked his head to the side. “How exactly,” Alec asked, “did you find out that the spell set people on fire?”
Magnus gasped and looked at the spot of his arm Alec was staring at. He quickly moved his hand over it, healing the scar. “It was somewhat acknowledged due to personal experience. I’d avoid the guest room for a while if I were you, Alexander.”
Sighing, Alec reached out and held Magnus’ hand. “Come on, no more working for tonight.” He pulled Magnus gently away from the apothecary. “I’m going to take care of you, okay? All we’re doing now are a warm meal and some drinks. We can un-enchant the guest room tomorrow.”
A fond smile took over Magnus’ lips and he nodded, letting Alec guide him to the kitchen. Once they arrive there and Alec searched the refrigerator for food, though, Magnus’ smile turned into a smirk. “Well, those sound delightful but they don’t have to be all we do tonight, my darling.”
Oh. So maybe Alec would get some of his boyfriend that night. That was nice to know. “Aren’t you tired after a whole day of magic and fire-fighting?” Alec asked, more of a way to clear his conscious than really worried.
It made Magnus’s smirk grow bigger. All the professionalism was gone from him, leaving behind just that enticing predatory quality that Magnus had. Just the way Magnus looked at Alec was enough to send down a delicious chill down Alec’s spine. “I’ll show you how tired I am, Alexander.”
Magnus always said that Alec never ceased to amaze him. But the truth was that neither did Magnus.
#magnusmonth#magnus bane#alec lightwood#malec fic#some researcher magnus bc why not#drabble#magical-magnus
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I'm so shy so requesting things, but I'd be very grateful if you'd write a Kuzan (nsfw)scenario, where he'd meet up with a figure from his past. A person that wasn't necessary on the same side as him but they had a spark that would still live beneath
Btw I didn’t have enough room to fit this in my Kuzan-ask butyour stuff is awesome! Like my god, really good :D
Hey lovely! I’m so sorry that it’s so late, this request hasbeen in my inbox for forever and I decided to answer this one first,since it would only be fair! Unfortunately I don’t include nsfw inscenarios (because I suck at it xd), but I hope that you still likeit and that the long wait was worth it xD
Kuzan scenario
~*~
“…There is something I’ll never get to do though.” Kuzan’s lazy gaze wandered to the young marine in training that was sitting next to him, and he raised an eyebrow in expectation at them. “Mh? And what would that be now?” The marine lowered their gaze and stared at the grass before them, while a small smile found its way onto their face. “As of now, it’s unimportant. I’ll let you know when the right time has come.”
~*~
Of course Kuzan wasn’t familiar with the random island he set footon. He was on a small ‘vacation’, and since he had no real plan on what to do, he just went wherever the sea would guide him. And that was basically how he stumbled upon this smallisland. It really was a
small
island, with an even smaller town-which could almost be described as a village- but in its own weirdway it had some kind of recognizable charm. Plus, small islands oftenmeant no big trouble, aka a good place to relax. And that wasbasically what Kuzan was looking for right now.
So while he walked through the streets without really knowingwhere he was heading, he kept his eyes open for a place peaceful andquiet enough to take a nap. He has been travelling for a few days after all, and on every other island he came across so far was something that kept him from being able to fully relax or enjoy some peace. But this island seemed to be able to provide just that, plus, there was something about this place that gave him a pleasant nostalgic feeling for no apparent reason- and he somewhat enjoyed that.
But shortly after he started to stroll through the streets he started to worry that he might notbe able to be at peace after all. Something, or rather someone, was interfering. He already noticed the pair of eyes that drilled into his back shortly after he set foot on the island, and atfirst he didn’t mind or care… He was used to people staring at him or being intimidated by the presence of an admiral, so he just shrugged it off as someone whowas probably confused as to why he would be on this small island. But the more he walked through the village,the more observed he felt. Certainly, this wasn’t just a randomcivilian confused or intimated by the presence of an admiral, butsomeone who had some kind of intention. Or why else would the feelingof being watched not leave? Of course Kuzan wouldn’t confront theunknown stalker just now, mainly because he still hoped that they might lose interest until hereached the desired peaceful spot. Last thing he was interested inwas to ruin the peaceful mood of this island and get involved in trouble before taking his nap.
Yes, he just wanted to relax and spend some time away from work, by himself,that was all. But now he did have to admit that the eyes burning intohis back started to make him slightly uncomfortable. He tried toshrug it off once more as his mind was set on finding a comfortableplace. And finally, when his gaze wandered past the small stores, bars, and houses once more he spotted a small hill not far away; probably only one or two miles from the village. The hill seemed to be covered with all kinds of flowers and grasses, and something about that view gave Kuzan a pleasant, almost familiar feeling.
His eyes were locked on that spot, and his mind focussed on getting there that he didn’t notice the small figure that approached him and ‘accidentally’ bumped into him. His gaze immediately seperatedfrom the hill and moved down to look at whoever he ran into. The person was slightly taller than an average human, but still a lot shorter than Kuzan, and a dark cloak covered their body, almost as if they didn’t want to get noticed but did a miserable job at that. Maybe they wereoutlaws. Thiefs. Or pirates, even. But whatever they were it wasn’t any of his businessanyway. Kuzan’s gaze moved down and for a brief moment he locked eyes with the stranger. It was only a second or so that he looked into their (E/C) eyes, but in that small second, he realized who he was standing before. “(Y/N)?”
~*~
“If you don’t take this serious, then why are you even here?!” Kuzan quickly jumped to the side as the other marine in training lunged at him once more. “Everyone here is trying their best and what do you do?! Take naps whenever you feel like it!” (Y/N) tried to punch Kuzan once more, but he easily dodged their attempt to slam their fists into his face. Their eyes were filled with rage and frustration, and that one familiar spark they always had when they were excited over something, no matter if it was positive or negative. “My, my… You really must enjoy causing trouble, huh? Or do you just like picking fights with me all the time?” Kuzan lazily replied as he dodged them once more. It wasn’t the first time they started an argument with him during their training time as future marines, and he almost got used to their fists being aimed at him. He couldn’t understand why they were always so focussed on picking a fight with him and taunting him whenever they had the opportunity. But suddenly, they stopped their assault on him and lowered their gaze. “You don’t get it… Do you?” Without even looking at him once more, they turned around and ran away. Kuzan let out a tired sigh and fought with himself on whether he should follow them or not for a second, before he headed in the same direction they took of to.
~*~
It was the small spark in their eyes that gave them away.The same spark that he has seen so often during his time as a marine in training, mostly before their fists were about to collide with his face. No doubt, this was (Y/N). They were both in the same training unit and spend years of picking fights and provocating each other together. Despite them often having disagreements, Kuzan considered (Y/N) a close friend. Someone you could talk to. Someone you could have fun with (on occasions). And someone you could listen to without getting bored. If they were in a good mood, that is. Yes, they were close. And that is why Kuzan never understood why they just left one day. Kuzan remembered how they just left a note on their bed that day, saying that they would quit the training, and were never seen again. He continued to remember them for a long time, but as the years passed by the memory of them got more and more foggy until it almost completely vanished. But looking into their eyes made him remember all the time they spend together in an instant. But why? Why were they here?
„(Y/N)?“ Kuzan repeated, looking down at them in a more stern way now. The person looked back up at him again and this time he was able to take a good look at their face. No doubt, it was them. “Well well. If it isn’t Aokiji, admiral of the marines…” They slowly grabbed the hood of their cloak and pulled it back, fully showing their face and a cocky smirk at him. “Quite the reunion, eh? How long has it been? Over twenty years at least, huh?” Kuzan continued to stare at them in disbelief, he still couldn’t grasp the fact that they were really here, standing before him. (Y/N) let out a small laugh at his confused face before turning around and walking away.
„I bet you wanna talk or something, but this isn’t quite the fitting place. Follow me.” Kuzan quickly snapped out of his confusion and shrugged while placing his hands in the pockets of his pants and following them. They both didn’t say another word on their walk, and after only a few steps Kuzan realized where they were taking him. To the hill. The hill. Of course! That’s where the nostalgic feeling came from! This wasn’t just a random island he has never set foot on before, this was the island where he and (Y/N) used to train as marine cadets! And the hill… The hill was were they had their last real conversation.
~*~
“You’re a real idiot if you think that you’re ever gonna move anything with that attitude of yours.” After the young Kuzan catched up to (Y/N) on top of the small hill next to their training camp, they gestured to him that he should sit down with them. “You know, I don’t hate you.” They both just stared at the vast ocean before them, which appeared to be almost orange due to the sunset. “In fact, I do like you. But your attitude and all… It just fills me with rage sometimes.” (Y/N) shuffled a bit closer to Kuzan, their gaze never leaving the sea. “You’re good at so much, without even putting much effort in it. And I’m always working so hard to keep up with you, but I never manage to. Sometimes I wonder if this really is what I want. I had the choice, I could have become whatever I wanted to be, but I decided to be a marine. I start to regret it, you know?” Kuzan lazily nodded before moving backwards a bit and lying his upper body against the ground. “I still have the chance to do something else. To make things different. Maybe I’m not supposed to be a marine.” Kuzan’s gaze wandered towards (Y/N)’s form once more and he let out a small yawn. “Then go. And persuade your dreams, huh? If that’s what you want.” (Y/N) started to smile and nodded in agreement. It was silent for moment, before (Y/N) spoke once more. “…There is something I’ll never get to do though.” Kuzan’s lazy gaze wandered to the young marine in training that was sitting next to him, and he raised an eyebrow in expectation at them. “Mh? And what would that be now?” The marine lowered their gaze and stared at the grass before them, while a small smile found its way onto their face. “As of now, it’s unimportant. I’ll let you know when the right time has come.”
~*~
“So you were the one that followed me, huh?” Kuzan asked as he sat down next to (Y/N). “Yep. As soon as you set foot on the island. I couldn’t believe my eyes at first, you know? I thought ‘is that really him? Why the hell shows that idiot up now?’“ (Y/N) smiled at Kuzan, who decided to lay down on the ground. “I had my eyes on this place, you know.” (Y/N) giggled and playfully punched his side. “To take a nap, I bet.” Kuzan just lazily nodded his head in agreement. “You know… I’m sorry that I left like that. But I had to. I moved back home to my family. And there I decided to work as a barkeeper. It was something… I always kinda dreamed of.” Kuzan sighed and shook his head. “From marine in training to barkeeper huh? Didn’t expect that. But why were you here today?” (Y/N)’s gaze wandered over the ocean before them and they quickly shrugged. “Don’t know. Something kinda drew me to this place, but I wasn’t sure if it was still used as marine training base. So I decided to wear this cloak, just in case some old fella from our training time might recognize me.” They let out a loud laugh at that foot and glanced at the ground in embarassement. “Man, years must’ve made me paranoid.” A small smile hushed over Kuzan’s face and he once more nodded in agreement. “Seems like it.” And once more, it was silent. It wasn’t an unpleasant silence, it felt more like both were expecting the other one to say something. And then, (Y/N) let out a sigh and spoke up once more. “You know, there is something I never got to do though.” Kuzan slowly raised his head as he remembered having head that line once before. “Mh? And what would that be now?” (Y/N) turned their head and grinned at him for a moment, before moving forward and quickly pressing their lips against his for a second. When they seperated again, Kuzan gave them a somewhat bewildered, but at the same time amused, look. At the sight of his face, (Y/N) let out a loud laugh and leant forward to press their forehead against his. “That.”AAAAAAAAND THAT’S A WRAP :p! I HOPE IT’S NOT TOO OOC BUT I’M JUST STILL NOT USED TO WRITING FOR HIM AHHHH XD It was kinda longer than usual, and I feel like I rushed it at some point, but I still hope that you were able to enjoy it :D!
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