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bentchcreates · 7 years ago

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#FeelsSoProm - January 27, 2018

So, it’s been a month since Prom happened. Heehee. And I want to formally and officially say I’ve had enough time to process my feelings by posting a blog about it. It’s been awhile since I’ve rambled in this site anyway. *This is also your lowkey warning that this is gonna be a long-ass post.*

Cue Maria and the children: “Let’s start at the very beginning!”

Getting There

This might be mundane information for you, but getting to Commune that night was quite monumental for me. XD See, I’ve never driven to Manila on my own. I sound very pretentious and sheltered when I say that, but it’s the cringe-y truth: I always had a chaperone when I drive for more than 100 Kilometers.

I didn’t even realize I had been doing it until that night, when I didn’t have my sisters or even just one other person on the passenger seat to ask to open Waze for me. But that night everyone was occupied and it was impractical to not drive to Makati especially since I know we would not be done by 11pm.

So I went alone, punched my destination on the app before the trip and enjoyed the British robot voice that told me to keep right or go straight ahead in EDSA. My anxiety spiked so high, but I pretended I was Ironman (super smart and rich, lol) and JARVIS was navigating me through the seemingly circular one-way streets of Makati. I also had Adele’s 21 playing on endless loop. The CD’s been stuck on the car’s CD player for close to three years now, but I’m not complaining.

And I did it! I reached Commune in one piece (even though It took me close to an hour to find a parking space! Haha!) I was so proud of myself.

Prom, and What Happened There

This was my fourth #romanceclass event so I knew a little bit of how things worked - how to prepare for things and all that - but the thing with these events is that everything is new and it’s always better than the last one.

The Prom theme was an idea in the community that, as per usual, just popped out of nowhere and organically grew into reality. HS Prom wasn’t great for everyone, or just wasn’t there at all for some, and this was a chance to retcon awful memories with wonderful ones.

Getting fancy and all dolled up wasn’t a requirement, but in the days leading up to Prom, people were posting dress options and accessories and instead of feeling sick to my stomach in dread like my actual proms, I was very excited to see everyone in gowns and dresses, suits and slacks. I wanted to attend in a three-piece lavender or turquoise formal wear, but haha, my wallet dictated that I rummage through storage boxes for old clothes and by the MIRACLE of Christmas in January, I still fit in my favorite pink polo and gray jacket. (Let’s not talk about the pants.) I washed them three times, once for every year it hasn’t seen the light of day, tbh.

So anyway, I get there and I am welcomed by friends who are suddenly gorgeous and fierce and oh so stunning! Track the #FeelsSoProm posts everywhere and you’ll see me posing a lot with these beauties. I was also kind of feeling my look that night, so yeah, I’ve got a lot of photos with my face in there. Haha. All around me were princesses, queens! And I couldn’t help but think “omg, I’m friends with royalty!” Haha. The stage was decorated with balloon letters and DIY flowers and it was adorable!

The usual selling table was also filled with our books and while I already felt super happy seeing Summer Feels among them, seeing Start Here for the very first time was glorious!

The order of business was the live-readings of steamy scenes. I’ve done this before, mid-year last year, and oh my god, it was So.Hot. (I haven’t posted a blog post about that bec idk, I still can’t words, tbh) This time I was more relaxed probably because I’ve spent more time with my friends in real-life at this point (as opposed to just social media previously) and because there was another thing keeping me distracted. Haha. More on that later.

The list of the readings were announced a few weeks earlier so we kind of knew what we were in for, but the sequence of the readings, as well as the actors who’ll read them weren’t given directly. It was a nice “surprise” to not expect what was next until Mina’s introductions.

I will not pretend to remember everything that have happened in the readings except that Salve and Migs were their usual awesome. I had to remember they weren’t in their teens anymore since they usually read the YA stuff but heh, that night, YA was practically banned. The read The Duke Takes a Bride by Suzette de Borja and I wanted to take off my jacket bec of the heat! LOL.

It was my first time to hear Jef and Gab read live, they’ve been away for a while...and that’s why they had to read the longest part (Submission Moves by Camilla Sisco). Gab’s dress was stunning and Jef, well, let’s just say lemons had such a massive effect on everyone, the author (who wasn’t even there!) rereleased the ebook on Amazon with a fresher citrusy cover. XD

Sam (flawless eyeliner among other flawless things!) and Migs(spiffy af) read Better Weddings Than You by Mina V. Esguerra and it’s the backrub scene, my favorite! The sexual tension in the book was one thing, but the live-read version was something else! #GaHoates didn’t kiss that night (thank god! I’m still recovering from so much happiness last time!) but they still killed it with Chasing Waves by Bianca Mori!

In between the readings, we had breaks to drink away the thirst (LOL) and to take more pictures. I was hailed (self-proclaimed, really) Prom King and at one point Caryn turned me into an iteration of the Santo Nino. Wahaha. (I’m so directly going to hell. Do not pass Go! Do not collect $200!) I also had short smoke breaks, mostly with Brij and Oya and Pach. Gio was also there, asked me a few questions about my story and haha, I’m glad to report I was able to speak like a human person and I didn’t have yet another out of body experience (that would come later).

The last two readings killed me. They were from our newest book, Start Here, and for the second time, queer romance was featured in these #romanceclass live-readings! Brij’s Lemon Drop Friday is already so wonderful, and read by Rachel and Sam made it even better. The last story was my story, read by Gio and Fred and I refuse to talk about it now. I’m saving that for the Start Here reflection paper I’m preparing for posting sometime in the future. LOL

What I will say, though, is that I didn’t expect people to respond to it the way they did. Of course part of it were because of G and F’s extraness (like, extra extra!) but I didn’t really expect people to laugh at some of the lines I also thought were funny, and ‘aww’ at the lines I also thought were sweet. To have my work live read was one of the goals and I was fortunate enough to have my work chosen as early as it did in my #romanceclass journey. I am also very fortunate to have all these wonderful people around me, who, right after I died and lived again several times in my seat during the reading, wrapped me in their arms and celebrated with me.

This community’s natural instinct to support and nurture beginning writers like me, who are still figuring out this new thing we found inside ourselves, is #romanceclass’s strength. I probably cried when the reading was going on (I can’t remember everything, like I said) but it was because I was so happy! I still cannot properly express how happy I was. I don’t think I ever will.

So after the readings, when the event was officially over, we stayed back a while and made it an actual Prom. I danced with princesses (my heroes), watched my OTP have their first dance (Hint: THE DRESS FIT, no question!), received wonderful wonderful news (wide eye emoji times three) and hung out with people I didn’t think I’d have so much fun after just bonding with them on computer/phone screens for most of these friendships.

And being the DOERS that #romanceclass were, we already have a brand new project underway (Thanks, Ron!). Not one to sit on laurels, these romanceclass people.

It was a night of Romance, a wee bit different from the romance expected of Proms, but a night where love triumphed, nonetheless.

The After Effects

The immediate effect was I got hungry. Heh. I was still running on adrenaline as I drove all the way back to Bulacan (still on my own, still anxious af) so after I took my exit, I decided to get myself (drum roll please) a Happy Meal. I couldn’t resist! Burger, fries and a toy? Let’s be real.

I was also really pumped that the toy was Snoopy and that one of the poses was called “Famous Author Snoopy”! It’s basically Snoopy sitting on top of his iconic doghouse, typing away at his typewriter. It’s also a paper embosser. The scrapbooker in me wanted to hug the McDonald’s Drive-Thru crew in drunk happiness.

The longterm effect split two ways. In one way I got inspired and brave enough to release the poetry collection I’ve been sitting on for a long while now, Signed B. I don’t know exactly why I felt like it was now screaming at me to publish it, but I did, and now I got screenshots of it at the Amazon Poetry Charts on my desktop and I’ve got 5 reviews on GoodReads from happy readers.

The other way is that I got to be more comfortable with The Other Story and now I can say I’ve actually let it go to let that piece work its way on its own. I don’t know if it’s the same with other writers but when I make something, whether a written piece or a floor plan, I’m sensitive of my shit. I hold on to it so hard and I’m easily offended when I get comments.

Last week was the blog tour for Start Here and as expected, I couldn’t please everybody. But I didn’t mind the low-rated reviews on my story as much as I thought I would. I was genuinely happy that the whole book was being read and that people were invested enough to blog about what they thought about our stories. I was able to read those and take notes for self-improvement instead of zooming in on my mistakes and my shortcomings. I had been trying to please everybody for such a long time, accepting critiques this openly was somewhat alien to me.

I already knew my target audience, and they loved it. They laughed at my jokes, they ‘aww’-ed at my sweet lines and I was there to experience it firsthand. I even had people I’ve never seen or talked to before, come up to me for a signature! Would you believe?

And yes, I’m still learning the ropes, but I knew I wasn’t alone in this new adventure I was writing for myself. I have my people.

Now...I don’t know how to end this long-ass post again so I’ll leave you with five words I think about when I think of that night: It was the best Prom.

#Romanceclass #feelssoprom #bentchcreates #review

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