#anyway i just hope they don't throw my leftovers away lol

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

ok so my building offers year-long contracts - mine is 9th Sep - 24th Aug, which is perfect considering my degree was from 11th Sep - 9th Aug. however, for the past couple of weeks the building has started to turn over for the next group of residents, doing maintenance, deep cleaning, painting etc. which is understandable but like. we still live here??? and it is quite unpleasant tbh. like not being able to use our kitchen for a day because it's being deep cleaned, even though we still have more than a week of residency here...... like i understand they have to do this stuff, but if there's no time for them to do it while the flats are unoccupied then maybe they shouldn't offer year-long contracts?

idk i'm sorry i just resent not being able to use the kitchen i'm literally still paying for, having random strangers constantly in our living space, all without a word from the building staff (they told us kitchens would be deep cleaned "sometime in the next couple of weeks", which doesn't exactly give us time to plan meals).... ik this is coming across v 'first world problems' but like. it just pisses me off ok, i feel very rushed out of the door

[jeanie-g]

if it's not too late (hope it's not lol) for the spotify wrapped #77 and jamie/trevor

never too late! <3 xmas gifts are put away, leftovers are foiled, and i'm back into the swing of things ;)

[#77] Hot Mess (dodie)

One more reunion, then goodbye again / Oh God, I'd be lyin' if I didn't want ten

There's maybe one silver lining in Trevor being injured again: Jamie doesn't have to play him. It's sort of weird, this odd dance they have going on. And it's not like it's intentional. When Jamie's out, Trevor's healthy. When Jamie comes back, Trevor's injured. The Flyers have had a handful of games against the Ducks since the trade, and Jamie and Trevor have never been in the same one at the same time.

Jamie can't say he's upset about it, though. Trevor's a bitch of player, having more skill in his pinky toe than a lot of guys in the league. He played against Trevor a couple times in Juniors; that was before he really knew him, and it still sucked. One of the things he dreaded the most when get got traded was that he'd have to do it again, this time as his best friend, his boyfriend.

But it hasn't happened—yet, at least. Trevor jokes that it's some sort of curse ("the nice kind"), because it's not like either of them are out that long anyways—just enough to coincidentally miss each other. And Jamie's not one for the supernatural, but he has to agree it's a bit spooky.

But again, he can't complain, not when Philly shuts out Anaheim 4-0 and he doesn't have to block Trevor's shots to do it.

Jamie's just settled back into his hotel room when he hears a knock at the door, and when he opens it, Trevor's smiling face greets him. He launches himself into Jamie, throwing his arms around his shoulders and tucking his face into his neck.

"Jamie, baby, I missed you," he mumbles, and the vibrations from it make Jamie's whole body tingle. If he's upset about the loss, he definitely doesn't show it.

Jamie pulls Trevor fully into the room and shuts the door.

"What, the hotel staff don't get a show?" Trevor asks, laughing.

Jamie just shakes his head and pushes him gently against the wall, bringing his hands to Trevor's cheeks and kissing him deeply. Trevor hums and sinks into it, and there aren't any words for some time after that.

They have to be gentle with Trevor's knee, but they find a way to make up for lost time, Jamie gently laying Trevor out on the bed and taking him apart the way he likes best.

Later, when they're both spent and snuggling under the sheets, Trevor turns to him. His tousled, dirty blonde hair fans the pillow like some kind of Greek god, and his tan skin contrasts the crisp, white sheets. Jamie wants to bundle him up and keep him here forever.

"Jamie," he starts, immediately punctuating it with a yawn.

Jamie smiles, leaning forward to kiss his nose. Trevor scrunches it adorably, which just prompts Jamie do it again.

"I'm trying to say something," Trevor complains.

Jamie rolls his eyes. "Then say it."

He smiles. "Good game."

Jamie laughs, sitting up to lean his head on his elbow.

"What?" Trevor asks. "I meant to say it when I got here but, well, we got a bit distracted."

"Thank you, sweetheart," Jamie says, and he watches Trevor's ears go red. He doesn't use that pet name often—dispenses it sparingly because it makes Trevor blush like he does now.

Trevor tries to appear unaffected. "Don't mention it. It's my duty to comment on my boyfriend's game even when it's to the detriment of my team."

Hearing Trevor say my team still stings, but it's gotten leagues better over the last year. Jamie loves his guys, and he loves the city of Philadelphia. There are certainly worse places to get traded to.

"But you're lucky," Trevor continues. "If I was out there, let's just say it wouldn't have been 4-0."

Jamie sticks out his tongue. "You're right. It would've been 5-0."

Trevor feigns offense and smacks Jamie's arm. "You bitch."

Jamie dissolves into laughter, rolling until he's half on top of Trevor, scooping him into his arms.

"Ow," Trevor says, though Jamie's barely even touching the bad knee.

"Shut up. It does not hurt."

"You're just trying to keep me out longer so we can't smoke you."

Jamie lays his head on Trevor's shoulder and sighs into Trevor's hair. "No, but I would to keep you here with me."

It's awfully vulnerable, and it changes the air between them instantly. A few moments pass in silence, then:

"Jamie, look at me."

Jamie sits up, and Trevor's wearing a sober expression.

"I love you," he says, his eyes darting between Jamie's. "We've done this for almost a whole season. We can get through these next few months, I promise. Then we'll go to Jack and Quinny's for the summer and it'll be the two of us for twelve whole weeks."

Jamie feels that sting in the bridge of his nose that means he's about to cry. "It's so difficult."

"I know, baby." With his free hand, Trevor tucks a piece of hair behind Jamie's ear. "But you're worth it."

Jamie can't stop the onslaught of tears. He drops his head back onto Trevor's shoulder and lets it out. Because they have these times in hotel rooms, and on the phone, and on FaceTime, but it's not enough. It's never enough.

Jamie took for granted what he had in Anaheim—living with Trevor, playing with him, getting to soak up his presence every single day. He was too naive to think it'd stay like that forever.

He wishes he could go back in time and tell himself to cherish every single minute he had with Trevor, even when he was pissing Jamie off or getting into stupid fights. Jamie would kill for just ten minutes in their cozy high-rise, for ten seconds sitting on their rooftop with their pinkies laced and nothing but sunshine on the horizon.

It's only a few minutes before Jamie calms down and his sobs quiet. Trevor's petting his hair; Jamie hadn't even realized he'd been doing it. He pulls back and readjusts himself so he's not crushing him, turning and resting his head in the crook of Trevor's armpit. Trevor's arm wraps around his side.

"Better?" Trevor asks.

Jamie chuckles hollowly. "Yeah."

"Nothing like a good cry, huh? I think I went through three whole tissue boxes the night you got traded. Mason had to keep feeding me water so I wouldn't get dehydrated."

"You did?"

Trevor's finger's make circles on Jamie's torso. "I was a mess, Jimbo. You know that."

"But you never told me that."

He feels Trevor shrug. "I didn't wanna make you feel worse than you already did."

Something drops in Jamie's stomach. Of course Trevor didn't wanna let him see the damage. Why would he?

After the trade, Jamie had an excuse to act like an emotional wreck; Trevor was the one who had to save face and act like he was fine. Jamie, feeling so low at one point, had wanted to break up just to spare them both some pain. It was Trevor who convinced him to hold fast, who fought for them tooth and nail and brought them to where they are today.

He always spares people's feelings and bears the burden when needed. He's always the one to get Jamie to open up, yet he keeps his own feelings close to his chest. He cares so openly and loves so deeply that he forgets he has to turn some of that attention towards himself. And Jamie has spent the better part of three years angling that mirror, showing Trevor just how amazing he is.

Jamie turns his head and captures's Trevor's lips in a kiss, slow and careful this time. He's trying to emit every feeling he has for this man, every ounce of love and gratitude, into the movement of his lips.

When he finally pulls back, Trevor's eyes are dazed.

"You're right, Z. We've got this. We're together now, and that's what matters."

Trevor nods. "We just gotta stay in this moment—right here, baby."

He will. They'll get through this. Day by day by day. But for now, all he has to do is close his eyes and bask in the warmth of Trevor's body against his.

He'll never take it for granted again.