#anyway hope this makes sense because it feels disjointed and not like my best work

[navree]

hey I wanted to ask you about rhaena the fucking queen in East that girl didn't deserve what she went thro for real but let's go to her life since she was born until aegon conqueror death how you imagine aegon his emotions when he held first time we know he doted on her but what does it mean did he try to spent time with her as possible as he could why he dote on rhaena because she looked like rhaebys what is the relationship of a dead woman to his granddaughter yeh she looked like her but is it fact aegon will and is always obsessed with rhaenys and never got over her so to feel like rhaenys is with him he uses rhaena cause it s creepy you are favpurite granddaughter for just being alike to the woman who died in a horrible way ( poor rhaenys ) even thought your personality is visenya poterraly whome aegon didnt standlater ...???? What iwant is how you analyse aegon and rhaena relationship how you see their dynamics and do you think he tried to spent time with her as he could ..

Apologies if this answer is a bit garbled but I've got a bit of a headache so I might be misreading things, but Aegon and Rhaena's relationship is certainly one I like to think about.

The text is pretty explicit in the fact that Aegon clearly adored Rhaena, not just because she was named after Rhaenys (which was likely mostly an Aenys decision because that was his mother) but also just because she was his first grandchild, that always gets parents emotional. There's also the fact that Aenys just having a kid was a relief for Aegon; he was one of the people who thought Aenys was going to straight up die after Rhaenys disappeared in Dorne, so getting to see him grow up and be a father would likely mean a lot. It's not just about Rhaena reminding Aegon of Rhaenys, but also what she represents for the family and for his child that likely overwhelmed him and got him to make such an uncharacteristic public display of emotion.

And when it comes to their relationship, I think time is also a factor. We know that Aegon appears to have been a pretty involved grandfather, especially after Aenys took over a lot of his kingly functions and he functionally retired to Dragonstone. He spent time with all of his older grandkids (Jahaerys was only a toddler and Alysanne was a baby so they were likely still with nurses and their parents primarily), given that he died while telling stories of the Conquest to Aegon the Uncrowned and Prince Viserys. He clearly spent a lot of time with these kids, and Rhaena likely occupied a special place just by being the eldest and therefore the one he spent the most time with, and yes likely because, as his first granddaughter who probably did look a bit like her grandmother, she did remind him of Rhaenys. And even if her personality was a bit like Visenya's (tho most Visenya coding Rhaena gets happens later in life due to the tragedies she suffers during Maegor's reign and its aftermath), it doesn't seem like it was Visenya's personality that bothered Aegon much, since Orys had some similar traits, just Visenya herself and the entire mess of circumstances that came out of Rhaenys's death that drove them apart.

I don't think there was any sort of creepy attempt to "replace" Rhaenys with Rhaena in Aegon's head though, if I'm reading part of your ask right. What a Targaryen would consider to be "crossing the line" is heavily blurred due to the fact that they're practicing all sorts of incest right and left, but it looks like there's some sort of line drawn in terms of getting involved with direct descendants (unlike the irl Ptolemies because I'm pretty sure one of them married his daughter after his sister-wife died, congrats to the Targaryens because as bad as they can be they will never get to the level of those fuckers). Aegon just appears to have been someone who valued family and familial relationships higher than most, considering that even if we disregard his marriages, his closest friend was his brother Orys, he was heavily involved in raising Aenys, he personally knighted Maegor, and again, was clearly invested in the lives of his grandchildren. He and Rhaena likely just were the closest due to having had the most longlasting relationship due to her being the eldest.

I think Aegon's relationships with his grandchildren, especially Rhaena, were probably the simplest he ever had. They're his grandchildren, and so he doted on them and spent time with them without the burdens of parenthood or grooming for the throne or too much of the pall cast by his other investments in other people getting in the way.

[barmeciide]

Slowly I want to get back into rping again so, unfortunately for everyone, I’m going to attempt to exist soon. I need to icon most of the canon muses I added to this blog as I lost a good chunk of their icons, but otherwise I’ve updated my muses list as well as my rules. I don’t want to do a starter call just yet because there’s almost no one active following this blog, but if you want me to write something up for us feel free to reach out! I’d like to do a couple of shorter things! Knowing me they’ll get long, but we can see what happens! GFDJlkgfs

[spectral-musette]

She touched his face, fingertips light along his temple, nails delicately scraping through the short beard on his cheeks, lingering on the cleft in his chin before resting on his mouth.

“I thought…” she began, but then choked on a soft sob as the tears began to run down her cheeks.

“I thought you would be angry,” he said instead, nuzzling his cheek against her hand and then kissing the palm.

“I am furious,” she assured him, tenderly. “I am incandescent with rage.” Her lips were against his, her breath uneven in his mouth.

Directly following the Deception arc (Clone Wars Season 4 episodes 15-18), Obi-Wan asks for Satine's forgiveness for letting her believe he was dead.

Just over 2000 words, M in AO3-style rating, probably part of a longer work if I can ever finish it and think of a title.

. . . . . . . . . .

Obi-Wan had not protested very much when Padme offered him the use of her family’s lakeside retreat in the aftermath of the attempted abduction of the Chancellor on Naboo. He had, however, expected a slightly more modest structure than the sprawling villa he’d found upon his arrival. Despite the droids on staff, the place seemed empty, hollow, as though it still echoed with the voices and laughter of a happy family. So fresh from his undercover work, he wasn’t sure isolation was the best remedy for his rumpled spirits after the ordeal, but arrangements had been made, and he supposed he could make the best of it for a few days.

In some ways, he was eager to leave Naboo. The memory of Qui-Gon’s death still cut like a keen-edged blade here. But perhaps that meant he should stay, to meditate on his old grief.

Painful as that prospect was, at least it sounded more surmountable than returning to a Temple that had been mourning him.

He’d have to, eventually. Anakin’s (justified) expression of betrayal and Ahsoka’s wounded demeanor still stung, and he didn’t look forward to repeating these painful scenes with other dear friends, with Luminara, or with Quinlan. But until the GAR red tape was untangled (at least a few days), he was still officially dead, and granted all the freedom of a wandering ghost.

He felt a little like the ghost of his old self after a quick swim as he climbed out of the lake onto the patio by the house. He sat heavily on the flagstones, still warm from the sun even as the stars were coming out. The constellations of Naboo seemed startlingly familiar considering the few times he’d seen them. The span of nearly 15 years felt short tonight. Perhaps it was the mere stubble of hair on his skull, shorter even than a padawan’s. Perhaps it was the ache of his old Master’s absence. He tried to ground himself in the present; as he toweled off his wet limbs, the ugly burn scars from his duel with Count Dooku shone pale in the moonlight, and his face still hurt from the dreadful biotech that had transformed him into the Mandalorian marksman.

It was always Mandalorians, wasn’t it? Proof that the Force possessed a sense of dramatic irony that the brethren of the woman to whom he’d lost his heart seemed to continually haunt him.

The guilt of it weighed like a stone on his chest. The mission had dragged on far too long for Satine not to have heard news of his apparent death. He had hoped it might all be resolved before… Well, it had been an unlikely hope, anyway. Padme almost certainly told her immediately.

There hadn’t been anything for it. To ask for permission to tell Satine the truth before the charade would’ve been tantamount to confessing his feelings for her. Had there only been the censure of the Council involved it might’ve been one thing, but any careless word to the Chancellor’s staff could’ve proven disastrous for Satine and the gossamer-fine line she walked to keep peace and authority on Mandalore. He’d been keeping her safe even as he wounded her.

Just like the old days, pulling her out of harm's way, or shielding her with his body.

Only this wasn’t an accidentally scraped knee or bruised arm. Perhaps it was vain of him to assume, but he knew how deeply she cared for him, how intense her feelings ran…

He’d tried composing a message to her so many times. Even still in the guise of Rako Hardeen, when he caught a moment’s rest, he’d gone over it in his mind, lulling himself into an uneasy sleep as he tried to find the words to ask her forgiveness.

In the end, a forthright Forgive me, was the best he could muster, hastily sent to her private channel as soon as he’d gotten access to a comm unit at the conclusion of the charade. If you’ll listen, I’ll try to explain, but nothing will excuse what I’ve put you through. Know that I am so very sorry.

She hadn’t replied. He checked the comm unit again as he pulled his undertunic over his head, the rough linen soaking up the last of the lake water on his back, seeing only his own message, stark and insufficient.

He didn’t blame her, truly.

He’d slept since sending it, through the afternoon, reveling a little in the luxury of resting when he felt tired, regardless of the local daytime cycles. And he dreamed in disjointed flashes, mostly of her… her grief, her melancholy, her ire… of the glint of tears on her dark gold eyelashes, the quaver of anger in her beloved voice.

He wasn’t sure if he ought to just sleep again, now that night was here. Weary as he was, he felt he could sleep for days.

He heard the door from the house to the patio open. He didn’t look immediately, as it seemed likely to be one of Padme’s droid caretakers, there to ask if he required food or clean linens. But there was no whirring of servos, and the footsteps on the flagstones sounded too soft. He caught a whiff of an achingly familiar floral scent just as he turned.

She must’ve been too much in his thoughts already, his mind too clouded with guilt and regret and weariness to clearly sense her presence.

But Satine stood, silhouetted by the dim illumination of the house, resplendent in the scarlet gown she’d worn the night they’d met in secret on Coruscant, though her hair was loose about her shoulders, pale and shimmering in the moonlight. For a moment she was utterly still, then she merely raised a hand to her mouth, stifling a soft gasp.

He scrambled to his feet, keenly aware that this was not the state in which he wished to appear before his lady. His trousers were still sopping, his undertunic open to the navel, and his hair had barely grown in longer than the stubble on his jaw. But her eyes were only on his, and shining with tears. She took a few steps towards him, then swayed a little. He lunged to catch her around the waist; the last thing she needed on top of all the rest of the suffering he’d caused her was bruised knees. She twined her arms around his neck, and his knees gave a slow surrender too, such that the pair of them sank to the flagstones, wrapped in each other’s arms.

She touched his face, fingertips light along his temple, nails delicately scraping through the short beard on his cheeks, lingering on the cleft in his chin before resting on his mouth.

“I thought…” she began, but then choked on a soft sob as the tears began to run down her cheeks.

“I thought you would be angry,” he said instead, nuzzling his cheek against her hand and then kissing the palm.

“I am furious,” she assured him, tenderly. “I am incandescent with rage.” Her lips were against his, her breath uneven in his mouth.

He tasted it in her kiss, a fleeting note of bitterness and sorrow amid the heady sweetness of her relief and joy, the fire of her desire.

“I am so very sorry,” he repeated, abject.

“Oh, I hope so,” she replied, breathless.

As usual, Satine had the last word, as neither of them could speak for some time after that.

. . . . . . . . . .

She lay on her side, half propped up on her elbow, her head against the pillow and her hair spread across it in a tangle of pale spun gold. The bedclothes were pooled around her waist, and he deeply felt the intimacy and vulnerability they shared in that moment. He thought this image of her would be vivid in his mind for the rest of his days, however long that might be: the pale morning light on her bare skin, her flushed cheeks, the glint of unshed tears in her eyes, the soft swell of her breasts with her sharp, uneven breaths as she tried not to cry again.

Finished with his abridged account of the awful ordeal, he reached out to run the backs of his fingers along her arm.

“Say something,” he begged.

She sat up a little more, her hair falling across her face as she wrapped her arms around herself and turned away from him.

“It might be… easier to accept, if you’d done it for the sake of someone … worthy of all this pain. To protect Anakin or Ahsoka or Padme or…”

“Satine, I can’t decline a mission to protect the Chancellor simply because I dislike the man.”

“It isn’t a matter of dislike. There’s something… so… wicked about him. Manipulative and scheming. Don’t say it’s because he tried to put troops on Mandalore, and don’t you dare say it’s because he’s a politician.” She turned back to him, her gaze challenging.

“No,” he agreed prudently. “I won’t say that. I don’t disagree with you. He’s been a mentor to Anakin and to Padme for as long as I’ve known him, but I can’t help thinking it’s always been somehow for his own benefit. He steered Padme to get himself elected in the first place, and his grip on the office has been white-knuckled since. I can’t very well blame him for the war, but despite his lipservice towards peaceful resolution, the GAR keeps swelling its ranks.”

“I’ll blame him. Unfortunately, there’s no evidence to confirm it aside from my gut feeling.”

He placed a hand on her waist, his thumb tracing around her navel. “I’ve learned to trust your gut feelings. But dislike him, distrust him or not, my duty is to the Republic.”

He started to pull his arm back, but she gripped it by the elbow. He slid his hand to the small of her back, pulling her closer.

“What of your duty to me?” Her voice was quiet, but not without a note of beskar.

“Is it duty?” he asked. “I thought it was love.”

“Perhaps it’s very Mandalorian of me,” she said, “that we hold our most sacred duties to be to those we love.”

“Satine, I cannot put my devotion to you above the will of the Council or the good of the Republic. Not while I serve the Jedi Order.”

He almost expected her to pull away in anger or distress, but she shifted closer, pressing her face against his shoulder. “I know that. I’ve always known that. But it hasn’t hurt like this before.”

“Not since I left?” he suggested, burying his face in her hair and holding her tightly.

“No. Not even then. It wasn’t losing you, it was letting you go. This was… like I had died too.”

The guilt of it made his stomach turn. “I am so sorry, Satine. If there had been time to find another way… to spare you this…”

“The worst of it is that you knew how it would hurt me,” she accused. “And you still did it.”

“I knew,” he confirmed, regretful. “The Chancellor insisted on knowing everyone who was privy to the plan, and I had no time to even find the opportunity to disobey. I thought… the risk of revealing that you should be told…”

She let out a breath, hot against his skin.

“I think I’d have much rather run that risk than think you were dead.”

“If I’d had time to think it through, perhaps I’d have decided differently. But everything was snap decisions, and my instinct was to protect you.”

“And I can’t even be angry at you for that.”

“Of course you can be angry,” he soothed.

“Oh, what good does it do?” she demanded, lifting her head, fair brow furrowed. “Just wasting time quarreling when we have so little time together anyway.”

“Then you forgive me?” he asked humbly, kissing her forehead.

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly, stroking his cheek. “I know that I still want you, though.”

“Then I am yours,” he promised, kissing her fingertips.

“At least it’s not an offense that’s very likely to be repeated,” she reflected, shaking her head a little.

“Not very,” he agreed.

“I feel like I ought to extract some promise… some penance. But I expect you’ve punished yourself enough.”

He closed his eyes, leaning his head back. “The thing itself was terrible too. Not that I’m suggesting that what I went through can compare to-”

“Hush, darling,” she scolded. “It can be terrible on its own.”

“Sometimes I thought my death might end up not being a lie after all,” he said softly.

“Do you want to tell me?” she asked, her fingertips light across his brow.

He shook his head. No, he didn’t want to see how it would pain her, to think of him in danger, forced to behave as an utter villain. “Not now. Not more than I already have.”

She kissed him then, deep and ardent. “Then forget, for a while,” she said, breathless, her lips still brushing his. “Let me forget again. Make me forget.”

She hitched her leg around him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he shifted onto her, into the blissful oblivion where she was the center of the universe and the Force sang in resonance with their love.

[handlesscombo]

thoughts on sonic frontiers so far; got my copy early. spoilers under the cut!

i have at this point played through the first two islands, and just started the third. so i'll first organize thoughts by island, then do overalls afterward.

i will admit my bias: i have wanted (3D) sonic to be good again for so long, and this title has a lot going for it. knowing this, i will be as honest about what doesnt work as i can, and check myself as i go. would love to hear others' thoughts on it as well!

#1: Kronos Island

- THE KOCO. ARE SO BAbie. just need to get that off my chest. love love love them. little bell guys. fit in your arms and so cute and lovable. adore them and WILL be buying plushie as soon as it drops (amazon has a leaked listing for them, i know it's coming). anyway.

- running, jumping, homing attack all feel very smooth; strong sense of forward momentum and physically satisfying. captures the best of sonic gameplay, but does have a learning curve as button inputs for classic mechs have changed. homing attack is mapped to a diff button than jump, for example. but it does honestly feel better and makes room for more varied manuevers than previous games, ie a double jump and homing attack from the ground without jumping prior. gamefeel/controls are solid.

- the paraloop (or cyloop as it is called) is a very fun throwback to nights. love the idea that sonic inherited it from them, so to speak. adds a lot to the core gameplay, not just in combat; useful for solving puzzles, too. very solid addition

- camera is a bit fucky. generally it's fine, but there were instances where it flipped around unhelpfully/clipped through things. will hopefully be fixed in patches.

- architecture is lacking; visuals don't give a strong first impression. feels a bit empty, which is a big problem in a semi-open world game. this does improve later however

- cyberspace levels are going to be a hot-button issue across reviews. the implementation of them as separate from the open world is questionable, and the gameplay feels strangely more stiff than in the rest of the game. unsure why that is. architecturally and visually, i love them -- great lighting and colors, fast-paced, interesting to look at and compare to previous games' levels. familiar layouts mixed with unfamiliar visuals create this disjointed collage of somic's memories, which is the narrative explanation for them. interesting in concept, lukewarm in execution.

- enemy designs are interesting; mechanical, jagged, yet colorful; unlike anything in a prior sonic game. effective at creating an "otherworldly" and inter-dimensional feeling. would compare to how ultra beasts are distinctly unsettling because they don't resemble the pokemon we're used to.

- combat is engaging, but limited; have yet to unlock skills to make it snappier. at its core, however, feels good and almost platinum-esque; addition of strafing, parrying, combo counter adds sense of momentum and adrenaline that should always be present in sonic combat.

- unsure how to feel about the skill tree so far. not gonna comment until ive completed it.

- soundtrack evolves as you complete more of the area, layering in instruments and such. nice touch

- very satisfied with story and characterization. amy feels like her own distinct person and not just "annoying sonic love interest"; the two have really sincere conversations that add nuance to both of their characters. the subtlties are what ive dearly missed about the writing and havent felt since SA2. sonic is sooooo much less quippy and whedon-esque, fucking finally. ian flynn is a capable writer who understands what sonic storylines can be, and i hope they continue to let him helm these projects.

- side note that i love: in the original sonic cd, amy was supposed to be a fortune teller. this was sort of removed/scrapped from her canon over time, but flynn brought it back into the foreground! it's mentioned that she does tarot readings and has strong intuition and ability to empathize with people around her (not in a cringe "i am an empath" way, more like she tries to understand others as best she can and uses that insight for good). i really really like this direction for her character. one of the most impactful comvos in the game so far is with her, and i cant repeat it word for word, but it's about how amy wants to travel the world sharing the love she has for it with others. very sweet

- boss fight was incredibly hype, if a bit repetitive. soundtrack fucks so hard. boss looks like an evangelion, which is funny because sage's jpn voice actor also voiced rei ayanami haha. love the music, the shift into familiar super sonic controls. resembles the finalhazard fight in SA2

#2: Ares Island

- architecture vastly better than the first island; more to look at and crawl through, striking desert clay/cyan/purple/red color palette. the color grading between night and day is striking; amazing what good lighting can do :')

- cyberspace levels are beautiful in this one, reminiscent of sky sanctuary and the skeletal structure of radical highway. the looks continue to impress. gameplay remains a bit stiff

- this island has a mechanical theme to it: most enemies, boss fights , and puzzles are about timing-based precision exercises. i will admit these are my favorite parts of sonic games -- high-speed challenges with timing-based mechanical skill involved -- so i might be too biased in its favor to review it accurately. for my part, however, i will say that i found it snappy, engaging, and streamlined a la bayonetta. very satisfying to nail the timing when fighting enemies. people who dislike fast QTEs may like it less, but on a scale of david cage to bayonetta, they definitely lean into bayonetta, and feel approptiately organic/nice physicality.

- knuckles is my favorite sonic character, so i will say i wanted a bit more out of his convos with sonic. however, i love that flynn is able to combine multiple aspects of knuckles' identity into a consistent portrayal -- he is a warrior, a rival, a friend, an expert on ancient ruins, reclusive, and carries a debilitating loneliness that he cant fight on his own. he is more than previously dumbed-down interpretations of his character, and im very grateful for that. hes a glimpse of the old well-intentioned but gullible and stubborn character he was in s3k and the adventure era.

- boss design and mechanics were much more exciting than the first. soundtrack was equally hype and fucks. the aerial nature of the fight really added some pussy to it. im a professional games journalist

- more sprinklings of lore about the nature of these islands and the implications of their connections to chaos (sa1) and the chaos emeralds, as well as the true nature of the chaos emeralds. really interesting and keeps you guessing. looking forward to how it resolves

#3: Chaos Island

- not enthused about the amount of fog and grayness of this one so far. really hoping it develops more identity visually. kind of muddy, too. downgrade from ares

- mechanical theme seems to be more classic sonic design; lots of 2d segments and old-school spring traps, spikes, so on. waiting to see it develop

- already love the big brother dynamic sonic has with tails. the two are openly affectionate (hugs, etc) and endearing to watch. structurally i expect tails is going to figure out something major abt the tech of the islands, which is why they waited to have him appear until the third island. looking forward to it

Overall

i anticipate that this game is going to consistently score 6.5 or 7/10 at most review outlets. it's good, distinctly stronger in its identity and story than other sonic games, and a refreshing, much-needed change of pace tonally, visually, mechanically. it isn't blowing my mind yet (and i hope it will), but there is a palpable heart and ambition here that has been absent for a very long time.

the game's strongest asset so far is its story and boss/enemy design + combat, imo. the visuals are enjoyable amd striking on ares island, but the first and third would benefit from a rework. gameplay has a solid foundation and feels good

it's important to note that for 3d sonic, the bar has been on the Floor for years. my impressions likely express that whether i wanted them to or not; i do think that it's a valuable discussion, if separate from the game"s overall objective integrity, to unpack its improvements on the franchise. as such, i give you my two overall ratings:

as a sonic game: 8.5/10

as an overall game: 7/10

there u have it. please reply with thoughts if you also have any!!!!!

ps: game of the year because you can draw amogus and cock and balls with paraloops.

[phairfantooooom]

Obey Me Explained….. Kinda

In which I do my best to explain the shit hell that is the Time Travel in Obey Me. 

Spoilers: It’s absolute bullshit

So we start in chapter uhhh 15 technically since the plot twist is explained that Barbatos is actually a OP Time Wizard, which feels like a throwaway plot device… like dude there are so many ideas and you use Time Travel? Come on.

However I do appreciate the Yugioh Pyramid room. Good taste.

Anyways Barbatos gives you VERY CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO NOT FUCK UP and what does MC do? Why THEY FUCKING BREAK VERY FUCKING RULE IN THE LAWS OF TIME TRAVEL. *screams in quantum physics*

Barbatos’ Rules of Time Traveling (It’s more so Timeline Hopping but you know what, I can scream all day but it won’t change anything)

Do not reveal you are from the future (More like don’t reveal you are from a different Timeline or Universe)

Do not meet your past self (Hello??? Doppelgängers??? Stay the FUCK away)

Don’t make contact with others from the past. (Go back, observe how Belphie got out and then get the hell out)

To get back to this point in time (Read: Timeline) you need to KNOCK and ENTER through the door you used to get to the past 

Now you may be thinking, Huh? What door? I don’t remember going back through a door in the story…

And you would be right. You didn’t.

From here I’ll be explaining the Timeline and order of events and speculation as to why it occurred the way it did. 

For reference. There is the Original Timeline. Which is OT1, this is the Timeline of chapters 1 to the end of 15.

The Second Timeline, OT2 is the Timeline where Belphie kills you.

The Third and Final Timeline, OT3 is the Timeline we are currently in. Which is from Chapter 16-12 and onwards.

Alright now that’s out of the way let’s get this shit sorted shall we?

When you go through the wack time travel door you are sent back to Chapter 12-13, to the perspective of the brothers as they hide so that THIS TIMELINES YOU can go romance/befriend/ WHATEVER Lucifer. 

So we start with OT1’s MC dropping into Mammon’s bedroom. You know, possibly fortnite like. With everyone in there. Worst possible outcome. And rather than fucking BOLTING, you stay and chat. You know, despite being told not to. You have the option to lie about how you ended up in the room but it doesn’t change the FACTS.

At this point, there are two MC’s. One from OT1 and one that is currently vibing with Lucifer.

The boys end up kicking you out of the room and telling you to go chit chat with Lucifer, unaware that there is already a different version of you doing that.

So you hear Lucifer and your other self coming down the hall and this is where shit starts to get weird.

Regardless of which option you choose (Run, Hide, Turn Invisible- which by the way seems kinda like a weird option right? I’ll get to that later) you end up going into Lilith’s room.

Now. Directly from the transcript.

It’s so warm in here.

I recognize this place. It feels like someplace I know very well.

Now. Time to over analyze. You may be wondering why this matters. I’ll get to that in a bit I promise.

It’s stated that it’s warm. But really that doesn’t make sense. The room is stagnant. Nobody comes in or out. The room is abandoned since Lilith is dead and nobody uses it. However, I have a theory that Lilith is spiritually attached to your body which is why you sense what you feel.

Lilith probably has plenty of memories of sitting by the FIREPLACE in her room with Beel and Belphie. A lot of times people with spirit attachments get senses of déjà vu when they are near places that the Spirit used to frequent when the Spirit was alive.

The next area of weirdness is Leviathan. He comes in, unannounced and addresses you as if you were Lilith.

Transcript:

I’m coming in, okay?

Aha, I thought I’d find you in here.

Wait, Belphie’s not here?

Huh, that’s weird… He was just telling me that he was going to stop by your room.

Both of you were playing hide-and-seek, right?

He said he couldn’t find you. He looked like he was about to cry.

Why don’t you try to go find Belphie yourself? I mean, I guess it’s hard to say who’s it at that point, but still.

Well, see ya later.

Alright. So we have a lot to unwrap here, but I’ll make it short and sweet. Something clearly happened when you KNOCKED and ENTERED Lilith’s room (Hint Hint Nudge Nudge) What happened you ask? You jumped timelines. Which is why everything seems disjointed and jarring. It’s not supposed to be normal or feel normal, the game is subtly telling you that you aren’t supposed to be there.

Time is beginning to fray at the seams and when you exit the room you jump into another timeline AGAIN. As you go to the stairs to get to Belphie which you would think should be vacant, they are not.

From a casual players perspective you’d think oh! Well Lucifer and past me are in the living room, and the brothers are in Mammon’s room. So it’s all clear, right?

Wrong.

From the moment you exited Lilith’s bedroom you entered the OT2 Timeline. Which takes place roughly right after Lucifer imprisons Belphie in the attic. And at this point in time, you haven’t arrived in the Devildom yet.

I make this assumption based on the transcript:

Belphegor: What scares you is the thought of disappointing Diavolo, isn’t it?!

Say something! Lucifer!

The old Lucifer wasn’t like this. He wasn’t afraid of what someone else thought of him. He wasn’t pathetic like that.

Lucifer: You’re free to think whatever you want, Belphegor. Also…

I’d say you’ve changed as well.

It would seem weird for them to be arguing like this in the present since it’s like. Wow y’all are really just arguing over the same plot point for an ENTIRE year? Damn and I thought I was stubborn.

Anyways.

Lucifer comes down the stairs. You hide and yadda yadda and you goooo upstairrrrssss

Oh boy oh boy this gets FUCKED in hurry folks

So you YOU can just. Open the door. Without Lucifer’s pact? ���� k. And then you go and have familiar dialogue choices to wake Belphie up and blahhhhh

Let me get something off the table here. I am calling entire Bullshit on the Lilith is my ancestor origin story. I hate it and you may or may not hate it too so I’ll present a better argument.

Lilith, the lovely gal that she was, upon remembering who she was when she died decided to haunt the House of Lamentation. Which would provide reasoning as to WHY people believe the House is haunted.

When you come to the house of Lamentation to stay with the brothers you catch Lilith’s eye, and she sees that you have the potential to fix the rifts between the brothers. When she attaches herself to you she forms a pseudo pact with you. Why is this important? Because that’s how you got the dumb door open in the OT2 Timeline.

Now some of you may be screaming, BUT THEN HOW DID IT WORK IN THE ORIGINAL TIMELINE THEN HMMMM? And to that I answer. Lilith could see how the conversation between Lucifer and you was heading and she went to go unlock the door. And before you yell and say BUT SHE IS A GHOST-

Ghosts can manipulate objects, yeah? All she had to do was open the door.

Now this is my theory, in the canon of the game it uses garbage Terminator Time Travel logic which is A PARADOX. Feel free to fight me on this, I have receipts.

Anyway. You open the door. Oh but! You can choose to call out before you do. But conveniently nobody answers. Which means one of two things. Either Belphie falls asleep very quickly, or something else is at work here.

Remember those turn invisible options? Kinda strange right? I mean they wouldn’t even work anyways so why were they listed? Answer: Lilith. Lilith is a ghost so at times of being discovered it would be easy for a ghost to just vanish. That’s why it’s listed as if it were one of the choices you would instinctively make.

Belphie had just been conversing with Lucifer, and while he is the Avatar of Soth, you have seen his anger. He wouldn’t succumb to sleep while enraged. And he has no reason to ignore you either.

What do I think? 

*puts on tin foil hat like it’s a crown*

It’s because something isn’t letting him hear you.

I’ll get to that something later. First things first.

You get in the room and you have some…. choice dialogue. In OT1 Lilith had let Belphie out and naturally since she is attached to you, you have the same instinctive reaction to do the same. The difference is that you are still you. That’s why there is a Lilith choice and there is a you choice.

Transcript of Chapter 13-10

??? (Lilith):

Belphie…

Wake up…

Sorry Belphie…

Now the choices from Chapter 16-4

Wake up. (Lilith)

Belphegor. (MC)

Sorry. (Lilith)

It’s okay. (MC)

This might be over analyzing but fuck it. We ain’t here to under analyze. 

Moving right along, remember how I said we are at the point where you weren’t in the devildom? Well you went through another door, and jumped timelines again. And not ONLY that but you jump into the body of the OT2 MC, your memories are those of OT1 but you are in the body of OT2.

Where is your OT1 body? It’s hidden by the stairs patiently waiting for you to die so you can inhabit it again.

Weird right? But it makes sense, and here is why.

When Belphie brings you to the edge of death you are lying on the border of the afterlife. As such you would be a lot more susceptible to, let say, communication with ghosts.

A.k.a Our good Lilith.

ALSO NOTE Lilith never outright says she is our ancestor and as such I’m going to ignore what Diavolo says because I don’t trust him for reasons. Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy but I don’t trust him. At. All.

I’m more inclined to believe that Lilith was trying to say “Because you are my last hope.” Rather than descendant. I mean she outright says she chose you and that she has been watching over you and the brothers. Fact-check brought to you by Chapter 16-10.

Alrighty. Still here? Good.

Lilith lends you some of her power. And you pop back into existence.

Now at first I thought. Oh hey Lilith reversed time! That’s neat, now Barbatos isn’t too OP.

Except…. that’s not what happened at all.

The body you had been killed in was in Mammon’s arms. And your OT1 mind and body are now in what I call OT3. The final timeline. Not the true timeline, but the final one.

Now you really should skedaddle back to the palace and go to the yugioh room AND LEAVE 

But you get caught. And things get very very…. suspicious. History at this point IF we were time traveling would be fucked, but since I don’t believe we are, we are still golden.

ALSO TO EVEN PUSH MORE ON THIS FACT YOU HAVE A FLASHBACK TO BARBATOS TELLING YOU NOT TO COME INTO CONTACT WITH ANYONE

But a moment later Leviathan sees you. And things get funky. The OT2 you vanishes, we have canon confirmation that both OT1 and OT2 WERE REAL VERSIONS OF YOU. No fakes here folks.

Now. Here is what piqued my interest.

You explain the story of Lilith and Belphie calls you a liar before Lucifer proclaims it to be true. Then Lucifer asks you how you know about it.

When you tell him the truth, that he had told you, he denies it and asks for an explanation. Before you can so much as breathe a response someone intervenes.

Who you may ask? 

Diavolo, of course.

He makes a proclamation about you being Lilith’s descendant and your connection to her. Lucifer often tries to interject but is shut down. Every. Single. Time.

Hmmmm indeed.

Spiritual attachments, if they are strong enough can cause visions. And you may see memories from the spirit. 

I firmly want to believe that all this is bullshit in an attempt to distract us from the fact that we are not in the correct timeline. 

I mean…. did anyone notice just how easy Belphie gave in once Diavolo used the Lilith card? I mean, seriously, the guy killed you. And attempted to do so again not even five minutes earlier!

Diavolo and Barbatos don’t want you dead. And naturally you’d reason that of course they wouldn’t! The exchange program requires you to be alive after all. But what if…. there is more to it? I have reason to believe that Diavolo has more in mind than just the exchange program.

I mean this is the same man who Barbatos serves, it would be easy for him to just…. manipulate reality. We saw an example of this when the OT2 body vanished.

However keep in mind that the Diavolo and Barbatos we are speaking to are not the same as the original ones. These two are from OT3. And they might have a very very different agenda when compared to OT1.

In Chapter 16-19 we ask Barbatos if we warped history.

This is what we get back:

I know I told you that I have the power to see both the past and the future, but the truth is that there’s one more secret —something I still haven’t mentioned.

You see, I have the power to select from any number of different potential realities and make any of them into the sole reality.

Within the various potential realities, there are an infinite number of versions of MC…

...however, in the sole reality I chose, the one and only MC is the one right there. That’s why the previous MC disappeared while you remained…

Now by this logic, there are an infinite number of Barbatos’. Which poses an interesting question. OT3 Barbatos is acting as if he is OT1, which he is not. But him acting shady isn’t not the big issue here, believe it or not.

He can manipulate reality. Unravel it at his fingertips. He himself could have gone back and figured out that the ghost of Litith was the one to have opened the door. Which begs the question, why didn’t he?

Either OT1 Barbatos does not possess the ability to manipulate reality or he had withheld information on purpose. 

Now that’s a scary thought. I mean why would they withhold information unless…. unless…

You were a danger.

I am in the belief that Barbatos of OT1 is on your side, he gives instructions on how to get back. Because you NEED to get back. There are consequences for messing with time, like…. getting stuck in a parallel reality. *wink wink*

On the other hand… if Barbatos of OT1 COULD manipulate reality then why bother with you unless… there was an extra variable at play.

What if Barbatos couldn’t see what happened. What if Mister OP Time Wizard suddenly encountered an anomaly with you? What if this entire situation was orchestrated by Diavolo in an effort to figure out why Lilith attaches herself to you?

But. The horror doesn’t end here folks.

I believe that OT3 Diavolo and Barbatos are lying in an effort to keep you here, in OT3. After all, Barbatos just yeeted the OT2 MC into smoke after all. And we have NO idea where the OT3 MC is. Honestly I have a very funny feeling that you, the OT1 mc, have powers of your own. Ones that are not related to Lilith.

Because Lilith is just lending her aid, you already have something there for her to boost.

You traveling back in time (Timeline hopping, fight me) May have been a test, a test to see if you had powers locked up inside you.

And I think that you do. I think that we are being played as a fool and that there is something much larger at play here.

Or - And please hear me out - I’m going stir crazy in this quarantine.

Hope you guys enjoyed 💚

A/N this took me about 2 hours? To write and bounce between apps. This is about 2.8k words. Maybe I’ll come back and elaborate more on this but it’s late and I’m tired lmao. Someone take the tin foil away from me-

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Chapter 6! And I’m at 70 followers already, which is hella hype, thank y’all for taking your time to read my rambling about all this stuff. Don’t feel shy to ask questions or whatever if you like; even if I can be a bit disjointed, it’s something fun to talk about, and as I get further in I can even get a better sense of how to answer them to the best of my knowledge.

Also, can I say I love this little intro profile to Izuku?

All the little tidbits about him are just so fitting! Though my one weird take on it is why it says his quirk is ‘TBD’... unless Hori was already planning for the developments to come from the Joint Training Arc and beyond. Or maybe just leaving himself room for those kinds of developments if he wasn’t quite set yet? 

Still, I think this was still the time period where Hori was thinking it was going to end after like, Kamino or something. With something like Two Heroes. 

Discord: It could have been a placeholder until Hori came up with a fake quirk name for Izuku to hide his quirk behind, aka Superpower. 

Anyways, without further delays, time to get into the chapter itself!

[No. 6 - What I Can Do For Now]

We dive right in with Ochako protesting how unfair this is. Aizawa notes that Japan is full of unfair things - natural disasters, highway pileups, rampaging villains. Heroes are the ones to correct that unfairness. UA is going to put them through the wringer for the next three years - as per the Plus Ultra motto.

(also, nice silhouettes of Midnight, Thirteen, and… I think Lunch Rush? The discord also suggested it might either be a proto-design for Vlad King, or just a background character who ended up scrapped/forgotten about.)

Aizawa calls them out to bring their best, saying that now it’s for real. Tenya thinks about it being a trial by fire, Katsuki thinks of his move as nothing, Ochako is shaking in determination, the rest of the class is focused, and Izuku is… still stressing. Also, these proto-designs:

I cannot even. Those horns. That HAIR. The lack of beak. It’s just so weird compared to their finalized designs. 

The first event gets off to a speedy start, Tenya zooming right through the 50-meter dash thanks to his Engine quirk. Aizawa thinks that that event was too suited to Tenya, and thinks about how he’ll handle the other events. Tsuyu wasn’t too slow, though, and the narrative doesn’t even try to introduce her quirk with how obvious it is - she’s a frog!

Ochako and Ojiro are shown next, and-

Ojiro, why the leaping? Someone suggested it might be a reference, but it could just be another early weird character thing being tried, I guess? I don’t even know, it’s just strange.

Next is Aoyama and Mina, with the latter with the curliest horns I cannot even. Aoyama also makes a move to show off his quirk, calling the others unimaginative as he rockets backwards along the track- and then falling flat before the goal and having to get back up on his feet to do so again, with Mina managing to pass ahead of him thanks to the acid under her feet. 

Aoyama is still sparkling as he explains how if he’d fired an instant earlier, his stomach would have exploded, which, fun! The rest of the class is like ‘what the fuck dude’, which is a mood. Aizawa thinks about how the kids are pushing their quirks to their limits and seeing how they’ve improved, he can guess what they can and can’t do, and how that will be linked to their creative use of their quirks. 

Meanwhile, Katsuki and Izuku are doing the sprint side by side, Katsuki taking on an absolutely feral expression as he uses his quirk to blast ahead, in the process starling and slowing down Izuku slightly.

Seriously, Katsuki’s faces are just. I can’t describe how much of a gremlin this child is. And this!

His thoughts immediately going back to Izuku right after determining how that use of his quirk worked for him. His being thoughtful about that force distribution suggests he didn’t use his quirk much practically before UA… which makes sense, producing explosions and then using it for movement purposes are two different things.

Also the bot giving Izuku a little ‘good job’ just touched my heart. Though it really sucks that Katsuki probably cost Izuku a few seconds with that move of his; luckily, Izuku still came in under his middle school record despite his setback, which is impressive! Aizawa isn’t impressed, though, and Izuku isn’t either, thinking about how even using his power once will wreck him, and how regulating it is easier said than done.

We descend into a short flashback, again to the beach, with Toshinori stating that the trick to regulation is sensation! With Izuku agreeing immediately, because he’s a fanboy. Toshinori notes that Izuku experienced 100% power, and Izuku notes that it really messed him up. Toshinori says that it should be easy, and asks how it felt. Because I can’t do this justice:

Izuku you little dumbass, I love you, but your ability to describe things leaves much to be desired.

In full seriousness, though, like, the kid might just be afraid of his own power, just from this moment right after the flashback:

But yeah, to catch up to this point, Toshinori tells Izuku to keep that image in his head for the last three weeks until school starts, and that control can’t be obtained overnight, but he believes Izuku can and will manage it! We get back to Izuku attempting the grip strength, thinking about not exploding the egg, and then he has that fun trauma flashback to the state of his body after the zero pointer, and is dismayed at his ‘lacking’ score of 56 kg - especially compared to Shouji’s score of 540 kg. 

WHAT IS THAT SERO DESIGN. What is that Mineta design????? Also why is THIS the first impression we get of Mineta. Him calling Shouji, or his quirk, or his strength, sexy,,, I think that’s just a case of weird translation, but still. 

Izuku is shown to come short in the next two events, getting more and more stressed as he fails to use his quirk at all. By the fifth event, Izuku is stressed about being out of options while watching Ochako literally get an infinity on the ball throw, because everyone else has at least one amazing record and the last events are ones he can’t use his quirk for in any meaningful way. 

He steps up to the circle, with Tenya noting that he’s not doing well, which in turn has Katsuki call out how he’s quirkless, so of course. Tenya is confused, asking whether Katsuki had heard about the entrance exam, which confuses Katsuki. Aizawa is already expecting Izuku’s next move, which is to charge up his whole arm and try to throw it as far as he can, while thinking about his mom and All Might and their support of him. 

We see Aizawa’s eyes snap open, flashing - and Izuku’s quirk fails, the ball barely hitting 46 meters. For a moment, Izuku is outright horrified:

God, poor kid. Izuku looks at his hands, swearing he was trying to use it, but Aizawa tells him that he erased Izuku’s quirk. In slightly more entertaining news:

Like a freaking schoolgirl. I can’t even, he cares about his kid so much. 

Aizawa explains how the entrance exam is ridiculous, and completely irrational if it lets ‘someone like you get in’. Which, fucking OUCH, I can’t imagine how much that had to hurt Izuku. Izuku, however, is more distracted with his realization that Aizawa is the pro hero Eraserhead, and how his quirk works… which is fucking impressive considering how much Aizawa would try to keep that information on the down low in order to maximize his effectiveness in taking out villains.

(Also, what a shot. Izuku’s imagination really is something.)

Wait, All Might, how did you get so close to the class so quickly, and how did no one notice you? Man be maxing stealth and speed somehow. Also, I love how the translation accidentally called Aizawa an ‘angler-type hero’, which I think was… not what was intended.

But yeah, most of the class hasn’t heard about the man, while All Might notes how Aizawa hates public appearances because it interferes with his work, and how he and Aizawa hardly see eye to eye.

Aizawa tells Izuku that he’s seen how the kid can’t control his quirk, and that he’d just be incapacitated again, before asking if he was hoping someone would step in to help afterwards. Izuku says it’;s not like that, while Aizawa’s scarf slips around him and drags him closer. Aizawa says that his plan would inconvenience others, then brings up All Might’s legendary rescue while also calling him hot blooded. 

Just, ouch, Izuku has to be feeling the pressure. I know he’s used to people doubting him, but this still can’t be fun so soon after he’s finally gotten himself some confidence in his right to be at UA. 

Aizawa finally closes his eyes and lets his power go, telling Izuku to give it another go, and to get this over with. Izuku is in a mental slump, muttering to himself about his options, while the class looks on. 

Aoyama what the fuck. Also Katsuki, you are about to be disappointed and blown away. Aizawa is curious as to how Izuku is going to fail out of his class while applying eye drops. Izuku’s muttering goes on as he thinks about how he can’t regulate OFA yet, and how everything is now hedging on this single throw, and how even All Might noted that it would take time to learn control. 

Izuku moves like he’s going to do a full power throw, and Aizawa is already declaring that Izuku has no chance. However, Izuku still isn’t pulling up OFA even as he moves through the motions of the throw, while thinking about how Aizawa is right; Aizawa realizes mid-sentence that something is different about this from Izuku’s last attempt. Even as the ball is just about to leave his hand, his quirk isn’t there, as he notes that he has to work harder than anyone else if he wants to get in. 

Toshinori is mentally cheering Izuku on, as Izuku mutters that he’ll give it his all in the smallest way - and pulls up OFA in just one finger at the last moment, sending the ball flying and his finger to the wringer. Katsuki is shocked, Aizawa is shocked as well, and Izuku’s finger is dripping blood. Aizawa realizes that Izuku didn’t use his full power, just concentrated it, while Izuku has Aizawa’ words echo in his head as he replies that he can still move. The last panel of the page has Aizawa looking like he’s close to laughing at how ridiculous the situation is.

And so ends chapter 6! Man, what a ride, and it’s not a shock that Izuku is still trying to be so cautious with his quirk at this point… in contrast with much, much later in the manga.

[smallblueandloud]

some leverage: redemption reactions

i finished leverage redemption today! and i don't have anyone to talk to about it so, here we have my reactions for all eight episodes, both positive and negative. please feel free to reblog/comment -- discussions are what i'm here for! (under a cut because spoilers and also this ended up being 2k. whoops!)

EPISODE 1: the too many rembrandts job

the "aww, this guy is trying to pull his first heist! how cute" job

what they chose to do with nate was... interesting. it might just be that i read too many of those cracky "here's how they should explain nate's absence" posts, but i was expecting something funny. the grief permeating this episode -- it makes SENSE, but it was still weird. leverage doesn't usually have sadness like this. pain, yes, rage, certainly, but sadness? not usually

the way sophie immediately spots the signs of a con and slips into a character? phenomenal. i'm here for EXPERTS BEING EXPERTS and this show does NOT disappoint

harry wilson is a really solid character! most impressively, he's not flynn, which is impressive enough that i'm making a whole bullet point about it. i was worried that noah wyle was kinda a one-trick pony, but it appears not! good for him tbh

i'm LIVING for the ot3 moments in this episode. "what happened?" "we happened" YESSSSS!!! i wish we'd had more domesticity, but i know they did what they could

"he gets it from his father" FUCK!!!!!

the discussion about redemption in this episode is FANTASTIC but personally i am still delirious with excitement about "my nana leads a multi-denominational household" so expect those thoughts in 3-5 business days

EPISODE 2: the panamanian monkey job

the "flash electropop concert" job

BREANNA INTRODUCTION! i love her so MUCH, y'all. we only got to see her dynamic with hardison in this one episode, but man, it manages to be one of her best dynamics anyway. i just! i love her! i love the way the team works with her!

"in our field, you're one of the best. but there, you're the only one." god we have ELIOT/HARDISON rights and i am NOT OKAY. just!! them!!!!!! being supportive!!!!!! they have learned how to be sweet with each other! they work together so much better (in part because we're seeing them from harry's outsider pov instead of nate's insider pov, but STILL)

midway through this episode, i thought "huh, leverage always focuses on specific people, when really the problem is systematic, and pretending it's anything different is just an excuse to not fight for change". and then at the end harry talks about how the system itself is broken! i love knowing that john rogers and i were reading the same tweets last summer. it's a good feeling to trust the people making a piece of media

who let noah wyle speak spanish. whoever it was, they need to rescind their permission

god, the parker/hardison in this episode. THE PARKER/HARDISON IN THIS EPISODE! they KILL me friends they KILL ME!

also just like, hardison in this episode in general. he made a star trek reference! he made a doctor who reference! he decides there are other people who need him more! the way they wrote around gina bellman's maternity leave in s2 was good but this was phenomenal.

also i'm here for ot3 crumbs so "is this like the time when eliot wanted us to say no" is going on my ot3-is-canon conspiracy board

this is a tiny detail but eliot taking out the drone with a goddamn ORANGE was so good. he's so good at his job!! they're all so good at their jobs!! i know i literally just talked about this but AAA

EPISODE 3: the rollin' on the river job

the "sometimes you just want to rob a vault wearing a floofy dress, and that's valid" job

i did... not. like. how the villain in this one was an immigrant whose exploitable weakness was a "desperation" to be included in the upper crust. and the fact that they beat him with a literal southern belle who explicitly beats him BECAUSE her family has been in the area for "hundreds of years"? it just feels Iffy.

also iffy about this episode was breanna's characterization. it felt inconsistent. she feels inconsistent across the whole season, but this episode in particular... she tells harry she's only with the team because she's desperate, that she doesn't believe in hope, and then at the end of the episode she tells parker she wants to be there to change the world. and like, even in the first place, she's not here out of desperation! SHE asked to join the team! like, i can see how it all kinda fits together, but it just feels... inconsistent. idk. i think these scripts all could've benefited from an extra round or two of editing.

anyway! i loved the way they tied hardison into these episodes, even though aldis hodge couldn't be there. he has binders! breanna doesn't want to read them! parker did! he put in big letters, "when in doubt, trust the person in the van". i'm just so !!! about how much i love him and how much he loves his team and how much his team loves him. FOUND FAMILY, BABY!

all inconsistencies in breanna's characterization aside, i really liked her speech at the end. i know how she feels! it's really nice to have someone on the team who's from -- not my world, really, but a lot closer than any of the others. it's a nice feeling! i love her a lot. i hope her writing gets more consistent

lol, parker ate eliot's carrot cake. i love the parker/eliot rights we get in this show, they're so domestic and it's wonderful.

EPISODE 4: the tower job

the "hardison made his partners learn klingon" job

watching this episode was what made me go "they're not going to make us sit through a harry/sophie romance... right? right?"

i'm still not sure they're gonna let us avoid it but it COULD work so... i've decided to just not worry about it for now

i liked the number of ways the con goes wrong! it was fun to watch them work on the fly like that. i think them not having a dedicated Mastermind(tm) is a good watsonian explanation for their plans being pretty haphazard in general, but it's good, they think well on their feet

nate was a chessmaster. he had the whole situation in his mind from the beginning, accounting for every possible outcome. parker and sophie are much more adaptive, and it's cool to see. they can rely on their respective skillsets a lot more than nate could

a really solid episode! probably one of the strongest ones in the season. i liked it a lot.

(ALSO as mentioned above the klingon lines were fantastic and not just because they were a star trek reference -- every time eliot and parker both mentioned hardison, together, it added a year to my lifespan)

EPISODE 5: the paranormal hacktivity job

the "sophie was worryingly prepared to fake her death" job

i know why they characterized the client as a skeptic, i really do, and i loved the format of this episode, but also. But Also. she should've been a love interest for breanna and I'm Right.

having a girl's episode was the CORRECT choice. they do crimes in their free time! they fleece newbie, cruel criminals! it's so good!

it would've been cool to have eliot around for the assassin guy, but it was also cool to see the others take him out without having eliot to rely on. it's like getting to see how they'd take out eliot, if they were ever on opposing sides.

PARKER CANONICALLY USES SCRIPTS IT'S THE BEST THING EVER

breanna bristling about letting the criminal into the theater's electric system was so good god i love her so much. she knows hardware! i bet she likes to work with her hands. i bet she stims. i bet she has adhd

actually, sidenote, but i LOVE these headquarters. they look so nice! the stage is so nice! i loved having an episode set in and around it, it was such a good choice.

EPISODE 6: the card game job

the "FINALLY AN EXPLICITLY QUEER LEVERAGE CHARACTER" job

QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BR

UNFOLLOW ME NOW THIS IS GONNA BE THE ONLY THING I POST ABOUT FOR THE REST OF TIME

GOD, what a good way to reveal it. it's fully about her! i love queer romances, of course i do, but i don't think i've ever seen a character come out without a romance being their reason for doing so (however indirectly). i still think she should've gotten a date with the client from 1x05, but i really liked this too.

this episode just felt like a love letter to fandom, and i love that. i love how much it shone through. i'm used to writers specifically going out of their way to make fun of fans and laugh at them, so it was just. really nice to have someone stand up and go, no, this is important for a reason! people love this for a reason! it MEANS something!

very fun to watch eliot swordfight. very fun to watch sophie recite a sonnet in her classic fashion. very fun to watch parker work at being a good mentor. breanna was so excited about the card game! they're all so good!

oh, and i guess harry's here too.

EPISODE 7: the double-edged sword job

the "harry is addicted to mobile games, which is a mood" job

hot take alert! i think this is the weakest episode of the season by a LOT. it needed so much more editing. it felt so disjointed, so all over the place. the plot was haphazard but in a muffled way, where you had no idea why they were doing what they were doing. the climax was sudden and didn't make any sense. it was just weird.

i'm not the person to comment on this but it feels kind of lazy to cast an east asian guy to play a socially-awkward tech genius. just a thought.

oh, of course jonathan frakes directed this episode. sometimes his stuff is really good but other times (ahem, ds9 3x02) it's disjointed and all over the place. i'm not even surprised it was him.

idk if i have anything else to say about this. oh! some of the team moments were great -- mostly involving eliot. i loved the moment of him recognizing the headshot, i LOVED the ten seconds of everyone teasing him. he and parker talked about the wellbeing of their friend, the woman whose ex tracked her down!

separate bulletpoint to say how much i LOVED his conversation with breanna outside the house. he's so good at reassuring! he could go deeper there, talking about being better than your worst day, but he knew when not to push! it was so good.

"first off, this guy can't TOUCH hardison" deserves its own bulletpoint because like. y'all. Y'ALL.

EPISODE 8: the mastermind job

the "eliot is more than just a pretty face" job

oh man this post is so much longer than i thought it would be. okay just one more episode and then i'm done.

the callbacks to original leverage were SO well done and made me feel emotions without feeling overbearing.

i didn't like the central premise -- that nate would share so many details with a random insurance agent -- in the first place, but i did like how it allowed them to bring back nate without actually hiring timerty mcasshole.

i liked eliot's insistence that he's more than just the muscle! he is, and it's really good to know, textually, that the writers do too!

me, watching the resolution of the episode: ah, yeah, insurance fraud. a classic!

harry bonding with his guard had "they don't even have dental!" energy and i am SUCH a fan. i know it was all for the con but also give me harry, unable to stop advising people, even when they're actively holding him hostage

parker! on the phone with hardison!!!! ADORABLE

is it just me or was someone else expecting the accountant's name to be something significant? with the way they led up to it, i was waiting for a "sterling" or something else. my sensors were pinging for another tara reveal. i'm still convinced we're gonna get this guy dramatically revealed in the season finale.

a really nice episode! i had a lot of fun with it. and now i want to rewatch the rashamon job, but tbh i ALWAYS want to rewatch the rashamon job.

and that's a wrap! overall, a fun season, i enjoyed it a lot. not as solid as original leverage, but it's the very beginning, and it was put together during a global pandemic, so i'm cutting them some slack. also levar burton is gonna show up at some point. that's a big reason of why i'm cutting them so much slack.

my personal ranking of the episodes is 1x04, 1x06, 1x08, 1x01, 1x02, 1x03, and finally last (and least), 1x07.

what did you guys think of the new season? what was your favorite episode? do you agree with any of my opinions? disagree with any? let me know, please, i'd love to discuss!

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 5: What the Heart Wants

I was going to try to follow my scene-by-scene format for the entire season, but I’ve been getting a lot of migraines recently, presumably from staring at the computer too long, so I don’t want to spend all morning working on typing up the play-by-play for this episode.

Also, for what it’s worth I think this episode lends itself to plot discussion better than some of the previous episodes...at least in some sense.

And as another head’s up, it’s back to being critical for me. ;P

Storylines:

School Ends/Graduation/Parent-Teacher Conferences

The Dress Shop/Rachel

Postal Service, Ned

Bill’s Uniform, Nathan’s Vacation

Carson and Faith

Henry

Elizabeth and Lucas

Clara’s Dilemma

--

School Ends/Graduation/Parent-Teacher Conferences

This plot felt a little scattered, but for once it wasn’t the kind of storyline they foisted too much drama upon. After years of every single function possible being besieged by bullshittery, it’s a relief to see one go off without a real hitch.

The beginning scene with Robert hugging Elizabeth was sweet. I enjoyed the Canfields immensely and am intrigued by Angela’s role in the story long-term (PLEASE let her befriend Allie!). Nathan...eh, I have thoughts—but I’ll talk about that a bit soon. The actual ceremony was cute and kind of fun with the kids singing. 

Neat Thing I Noticed:

Continuity? Cat Montgomery is still listed as Emily’s mother. ♥♥♥ I don’t know why but this made me really happy???

-

Complaint Corner:

Parent-teacher conferences should have been in this show from a much earlier point, and so should graduation have been. If there was a point to this celebration (the first year in a while anyone was old enough to graduate) that would have been a nice touch, too. It just managed to feel sliiiightly out of place.

I’ll forgive the “everyone in town goes to the graduation” thing because this is 1918...something like this would be a whole-town affair IMO. Invite everyone and have a nice get-together/party, probably on a Sunday afternoon after church but Hope Valley does whatever it wants, so...eh.

The threat of merging Hope Valley with other schools doesn’t fit in this scenario and it feels like they ripped it directly out of Tales from Avonlea which was almost rage-inducing to me.

Look, school mergers happened a lot in the early 1900s, especially around the WWI mark, but it wouldn’t be hitting a rural western town just yet. They don’t have any way of getting these kids to other towns for schooling. Where would the next closest school be? It would have to be pretty large and modern to merge multiple schools together.

*Adjusts nerd glasses* This felt forced and completely unnecessary. If anything this guy could be telling Elizabeth that they’re working on building a modern school somewhat close by, and could even have her involved in some decision-making regarding layout. Then they could bring in a “merger” storyline next season without it feeling out of place.

It mostly just felt dramatic for the hell of it, and it was boring, as was this man’s threat that Elizabeth had no right to teach a blind student. As if they’d accept Angela at a better school? As if her parents could afford top tier education for her? PLEASE.

Now it’s time for Nathan. The man chose to go fishing instead of to the parent-teacher conference? It makes him look like a tool. This isn’t about him or about Elizabeth; it’s about Allie. I understand why he didn’t want to go, but he should have done it anyway. It would have taken five minutes of his time. 

His flippant attitude annoyed me because it went completely against his character as we know it, but Elizabeth’s lecturing was irritating, too. For a moment I thought we had Lorigail back on the show...

I think Elizabeth was well within her rights to warn Nathan about the effect his work has on his ward, but that inquiry took like a week AT MOST. Heck, let’s be generous and say TWO WEEKS. Allie’s concentration suffered for two weeks. There was no need to say more than, “Hey she worries about you and her work suffered for a bit during that time frame, just so you’re aware.” 

I think what annoyed me about the math program thing is that...Elizabeth being a teacher would probably be VERY WELL AWARE that MOST of the parents to her students aren’t good enough at schooling to assist their kids with their homework. I dunno, it just feels out of place for her to tell Nathan that she wants to put Allie in an accelerated “program” and that Allie might need his help with her homework. It’s even more out of place when he admits he used to bribe his sister to do his work for him. Like. It’s very possible he’s not that good at math and isn’t capable of helping. (But maybe that will be a plot down the road...?)

“Or a tutor...” BITCH WHERE IS HE GONNA FIND A TUTOR IN THIS TOWN?! It’s super annoying to see dialogue like this that feels completely out of touch with the reality these people would be living in...lol. But also if she needs a tutor to stay caught up in an advanced program, she probably...shouldn’t be in the advanced program.

I don’t know how to feel about this whole thing here: “Nathan, you are Allie’s world. You’re the only father she’s ever known, and as she grows up you will always be the measure of the quality she’ll look for in a man as she chooses who to marry.” 

On one hand, it does fit the situation (he seems to think everything is behind him but Elizabeth’s words are kind of a caution that 1) his actions still have an effect on Allie, and 2) every day he’s teaching her by example). On the other hand, it seems almost wildly inappropriate to bring up? At the same time, it’s probably not wrong that Allie will measure other men (friends, acquaintances, potential future romantic interests) against Nathan’s example.

I dunno. The conversation felt disjointed. 

I think what they were going for was Nathan just feeling too awkward and weird about being with Elizabeth to want to be there for the conference, but...he interacted with her quite normally after the inquiry and stuff (even after she’d broken things off with him), so...it feels out of place. Like maybe this should have taken place right after the breakup and not weeks later?

Anyone else have thoughts on this and why it doesn’t feel quite right?

--

The Dress Shop/Rachel

This plot wasn’t what I would call a waste of time (rather, it’s worth having it mentioned now), but part of it was completely pointless and stupid. The whole Rachel getting lost thing was tacked into the promos to stir up drama, but nothing happened and there was nothing worrisome even going on. YAWN.

Rosemary’s desire to do something meaningful and different with her life is super interesting. I’m very curious to see what they decide to do with her if Dottie does sell the dress shop.

Also, Rosemary finding the book under Rachel’s bed was pretty funny.

But yeah, I didn’t really find much in this plotline to care deeply about. I guess I am pretty interested in knowing who might be purchasing the dress shop and/or if this decision is to bring someone else onto the show (a female love interest for the man who doesn’t win Elizabeth’s heart in the end, or even to bring back an old character*) or to take the dress shop out of the equation entirely... It’s also just as possible that Rosemary/Lee or Clara/Jesse end up buying it themselves down the line... Thoughts?

*I can’t begin to imagine who would be the best fit for this in this case, though. Who would have the money to buy her out?

--

Postal Service, Ned

Ned is just honestly so cute and fun. I love him. He’s really been doing well this season and seeing him wander around town delivering mail door to door was kind of nice.

Also, he’s one SMOOTH operator! Look at him, talking about putting a bell on the door so that he and Florence won’t be caught off-guard if they’re in the middle of...something. 

Oh my, Ned. What might customers be...interrupting? :3

Continuity? Not only was the ulcer from last season brought up, but the horrid cabbage juice was, too. :’) It was a nice touch. And these two had just enough screentime to be kind of fun/interesting without also taking up too much time.

--

Bill’s Uniform, Nathan’s Vacation

Nathan got his vacation and Bill is in charge...again. This happens an awful lot. I wonder if it’ll actually impact the next few episodes or if it’s just here for the hell of it.

I love Bill a lot and I want to brag up his character in this episode a bit. I’ve complained many times in the past about him being written like a Grumpy Old Man Yelling at Clouds but this episode was super respectful. He got his scene with his uniform. Nobody interrupted it. There weren’t even any words. I quite liked it.

But it also felt kind of...pointless? I don’t want to judge it too harshly yet. Like the dress shop plotline, this could actually be going somewhere in the next couple of episodes. 

Plus, unrelated to the uniform, it was nice to see Bill acting fatherly toward Clara. While it sort of came out of nowhere for the wedding, I appreciate the attempt at continuity there. Plus, so far this season, I’ve felt like Bill’s almost been a father-figure to Clara, Fiona, and even Nathan, so I’m enjoying that a lot.

--

Carson and Faith

CONTINUITY? The show finally remembered that not only is Carson actually a surgeon, but that was his original passion. It’s not that they completely forgot (S5 had him performing surgery on his sister-in-law, after all), but giving Carson a PASSION makes him a way more interesting character to me. 

And also, finally, this feels like a REAL high-stakes plotline for him and for Faith.

I really liked Faith’s take on things. I know, I know, I’ve been rooting at them to break up, but the reason is mostly because they’re just so BORING together. I’d rather watch Henry twirl around in a chair for an hour than suffer through date scenes with these two.

It’s not that I’m against a doctor wife/husband team. I’m not. I just think Faith was a much more interesting and cool character on the show before Carson showed up and usurped her place (and completely overshadowed her for literal seasons). This plotline for Carson might actually be interesting. Like, a fellowship? For modern surgery? IN BALTIMORE?!

I hope this is Faith’s way of saying she wants a break and/or a break would be good for them. I can’t picture her leaving Hope Valley without any trained medical staff, let alone long enough for a fellowship... 

But if this goes through, what will they do with it? Would they really write Carson off the show? To be perfectly honest with y’all, I’d be fine with that. At least it’s the type of write-off that makes a lot of good sense (unlike some of the other ones we got). I guess this is just another “wait and see” plotline which is uhh...the theme of this episode, huh? Anyone have thoughts on this?

--

Henry

Henry barely had any screentime, but I do want to say he is #relateable. The man is back at work for ten seconds and already exhausted. SAME.

Also, I appreciate that he’s ready to be back in the oil business. At what cost? I know people were worried they were gonna kill him off, and I really doubted it, but now I’m starting to wonder where they’re going with this exactly. Yet another wait and see moment LOL!

--

Elizabeth and Lucas

Some damn fine scenes for Lucas and Elizabeth in this episode. Mostly the scenic ones. :P

I enjoyed the agreement to a date. The horseback riding stuff was pretty cute. 

Complaint corner? I don’t know. I have petty complaints. Even though the celebration for the kids was a town-wide event, and therefore Lucas was invited, it still felt out of place to see it brought up. Maybe it should have been mentioned as a town celebration from the start?

Then Lucas’s comment about not wanting to make things awkward for Nathan (who is actually a parent and there) makes a liiiittle more sense. I do think it was good of him to not go, even though he wanted to spend more time with Elizabeth, but it gave off a weird vibe, like, “Look at how good and wholesome Lucas is!” Is that intentional? I’m not...sure...?

For what it’s worth I already felt like Lucas was an honorable person in this regard. He loaned Nathan money, after all. Maybe he should have told Elizabeth he views Nathan as a friend and doesn’t want to hurt his feelings unnecessarily and/or if he was there he’d want to hog her all to himself or something cheesy. Hm.

My other complaints are:

Elizabeth running to the saloon would be WAY faster than all this getting set up at her house...?? Who thought this made sense?

Elizabeth’s dress looked like a nightie she bought at Kohls.

Too many damn candles.

Characters Do What Plot Dictates Even Though Plot Makes No Sense. More at 11:00!!

I have no further comments on the dress. It needed sleeves or something so it looked more like a dress and not like a nightgown/piece of lingerie.

I think the candles might have been on purpose to parallel Jack...but I hated it lol. Fire hazard? HAVEN’T ENOUGH THINGS IN TOWN BURNED DOWN/EXPLODED?!

I didn’t hate the date scene! But I never feel like Elizabeth has any meaningful conversations with Lucas and it’s starting to drive me batty. 

Could we get uhhh something of substance please? It has to be surface-level nonsense on purpose. Right? RIGHT?

(And no, discussing a book for ten seconds on-screen is not “intelligent conversation” okay...?)

It’s really a shame because I’m starting to actually warm up to Lucas a little bit in this season but it feels like the conversations are just...kind of stilted and she’s not really into dating him—just agreeing to it because he’s the only option. 

And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but...he deserves better than that. 

Don’t get me wrong, by the way. If it’s part of the story and it’s revealed as such down the road, I’ll be fine with it...but I always worry they’ll just skip important relationship milestones and/or important conversations and expect us all to just accept it.

Kiiiiiind of looking forward to the rainy date scene in the next episode, though. I’m Team Nathan mostly but I’m keeping an open mind and I think I might actually enjoy it. Hopefully they’ll get some good scenes together that don’t feel like this one did.

--

Clara's Dilemma

Clara’s fears about running the salon without Fiona...are legit. LOL.

Also, this little bit was funny (between Mike and Jesse and Bill):

Anyway, if Clara was that worried about it, she should have just...told Fiona no? I hope it comes up down the road. Poor Molly??

I genuinely don’t know how I feel about Clara and Jesse’s involvement in this episode. I guess it was okay. I liked Clara’s scenes with Bill. I thought the idea of Clara and Jesse buying into the cafe was a nice one. Jesse having “invested” their money and lost it all, though... They did a similar plot with other people in what...Season 5 was it? Or was that the start of S6? He didn’t even say what he invested it in? But he admits the money is all gone? 

I think that’s what was missing from that scene. “I invested it in X, hoping to make us more money, but it didn’t work out and we lost everything.”

I’m not going to criticize Jesse’s characterization, only because sometimes character "growth” doesn’t happen for the better of anyone involved. My biggest worry here is that it’ll be solved by the end of next episode....but I hope that’s not it.

Like, I think they did better with Frank and Abigail if we’re going to talk about a man who didn’t know how to live like he was in a committed relationship. It made more sense with Frank, too, being older and single most of his life. His bouts of selfishness felt realistic.

Jesse feels like he’s somehow getting worse and worse as a person as the show goes on. I’m kind of at a point where I hope he and Clara divorce, because he’s so damn selfish it’s embarrassing. He’s off having a beer while his wife works multiple jobs? And then he has the audacity to act like they should save money when he just blew all their savings? 

I’m sure it’ll work out fine but I hope Clara puts herself in charge of the finances at the very least.

As to investing failures, I liked how they did that with Henry and Abigail. That was the kind of tension and worry that felt natural to me—like she trusted him with her money after he’d proven himself untrustworthy ten million times throughout the years, and he failed and had to uhh admit that. 

Jesse straight up betrayed Clara. Which, if it’s dealt with in a satisfying way...I think can be a good plotline. I just worry about it actually being dealt with properly. That’s a huge stumbling block in a relationship. And why is he continually getting worse as a person? There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it. 

Gasp... it’s almost like it’s just plot because they feel like they have to give someone something every damn episode.

--

Which brings me to THE FINAL

COMPLAINT CORNER (The Big Boy™ Complaints)

The show has really struggled with finding its footing. I wish they’d take notes from better shows with ensemble casts (cough cough Road to Avonlea cough) without also ripping off their storylines (cough school merges cough).

My #1 complaint at this point in Season 8 is the SHEER AMOUNT OF THINGS GOING ON EVERY EPISODE.

I want continuity, so I want to see things happen naturally over a season, but my God do we not need to have mindless pointless crap in the episode. Rachel getting “lost” for ten seconds wasted literal MINUTES of screen time that would have been MUCH better allocated to basically anyone else in this episode.

And I don’t think it would bother me so much if it wasn’t also shoved into the promo like it was supposed to matter. It didn’t matter. Nobody cares. Why was it allowed to stay in the episode alongside stuff like Clara and Bill’s conversation?

Or Lucas and Carson’s?

I think they want to appease all the fans in every episode by giving them scenes of their favorites, but what did Henry sitting in his chair accomplish in this episode? Rachel getting lost? Jack not sleeping well/missing his mom? The school superintendent?

Did Bill trying on his uniform have to be in this episode? Did Jesse and Clara’s problems have to come fully to light right now?

When every episode is formatted like this, with 10 plotlines all interconnected slightly and going on at the same time, I feel like...nobody gets the spotlight they deserve when they deserve it.

I cANNOT believe I’m saying this, but this plotline for Carson, especially if it will end with him leaving the show for a while or permanently should get the focus it deserves. But it won’t if we get tiny snips of it here and there and then BOOM decision made because Reasons.

And again, I know I’ve said before that I want more continuity throughout the season, but... the best way to do that is to tighten up the plots. Have fewer of them per season and give more screentime to the ones you choose to pursue. 

--

Anyway, I’m still enjoying the season, but I hope they keep some of this kind of stuff in mind for next season. They don’t need plotlines for everyone in every episode. They need the plotlines they choose to write to be worth their screentime.

Sorry this was sloppily written and all that. Hopefully it makes sense. Very curious to see y’alls thoughts. Feel free to make your own posts and @ me, or reblog this or comment!

[fantastic-rambles]

Reunion

Fandom: ID:Invaded

Characters: Hondomachi Koharu/Hijirido Miyo, Fukuda Tamotsu/Anaido

Warnings: Discussion of suicide/attempted suicide, mentions of murder

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: Although Fukuda remains in a coma following the events of Asukai Kiki’s release, Hondomachi hopes to speak with the man who changed her life at least one more time. Thanks to the Mizuhanome, she discovers that it is possible to get her wish.

She looked down at the girl at her feet, and a flash of recognition pierced her strange amnesia.

"I know this girl's name. This is Kaeru. And so I remember who I am. My name is Hijirido Miyo, the brilliant detective."

And as the brilliant detective, she had to solve the mystery of Kaeru's death. But before she could begin her examination of the oddly segmented body, another voice interrupted her.

"Ha ha ha. You're not wrong, but you're not exactly correct, either."

Turning around, she saw a young man in a blue trenchcoat. He was smiling broadly as she looked at him, and she frowned in response.

"Who are you? And what do you mean?"

"I am the brilliant detective, Anaido. But I am also Fukuda Tamotsu, just as you... are... Hondomachi Koharu," he introduced himself, leaning over to tap her on the forehead in time with his words. Suddenly, all of her memories came flooding back, and her eyes widened as she took them all in. And then she was throwing herself at the man, wrapping her arms around him.

"Fukuda!"

He laughed again, raising his hand so he could pat her on the head.

"That's right, Hijirido. It was quite clever of you to use the Mizuhanome to arrange this. Am I correct to think that this is my id well?"

"Yes," Hondomachi replied, her voice slightly muffled by his coat. Stepping back and tilting her head up to look at him, she continued, "It seemed like you wanted to see it. And if Chief Hayaseura could enter his well even after he died, then you should be able to as well, even in a coma."

"And the Kura probably determined that there would be a low risk of a well storm, due to my unique condition in which I can remain a brilliant detective while remembering Fukuda Tamotsu. And even if there was one, I could get us out," Anaido finished cheerfully, jabbing finger guns at Hondomachi. "Cool! Though I must admit that it is rather uncomfortable to be missing my hole."

Instantly, Hondomachi looked contrite, dropping her gaze. "I'm sorry. But there was no other way--"

"It's fine, it's fine, it's fine," he reassured her, walking over to the window. "I got to see this place, and the nice job that you and Narihisago did with the old man."

He tapped on the glass, and she walked over to look out herself at the figure in red collapsed in the Mizuhanome cockpit. A feeling of satisfaction bubbled up in her chest as she recalled how they had managed to trap and defeat John Walker, who had incited so many serial killers, including the Perforator. They'd cornered him, stripped him of his ability to play God, and then sent him to a world where only his own death awaited him, if Narihisago's predictions were correct.

"Besides, it's better than Narihisago's well," Anaido added. "His always drove me crazy, though I haven't quite figured out how I can kill myself off in this one yet. I wouldn't have minded seeing your own well again, either, but I suppose this wouldn't have been possible, then, since you would have had a well storm."

"Or you could just wake up," Hondomachi suggested, but he just chuckled.

"Why would I want to do that? Other than something like this, everything is probably quiet and empty, right? That was the whole reason I put a drill through my head in the first place. And now that the Kura knows the truth about Anaido, they won't use me again since I have even less reason to stay alive in a well than before."

Hondomachi's face fell slightly, but he wasn't saying anything that they hadn't already figured out. For Fukuda, the only thing better than remaining comatose, in which there was a chance for recovery, would probably be actually being dead. She'd realized that herself when she'd entered Asukai Kiki's well and spoken to him again, and as the brilliant detective Anaido, he would feel that urge even more strongly. Perhaps even this was cruel of her, to drag him out of the void that he so clearly desired, just for her own satisfaction, but she'd wanted to talk to him again, at least one more time.

"Anyways!" Anaido interrupted, still as cheerful as before. He didn't seem to have noticed her mood at all--or perhaps he was just being considerate in his own way--as he clapped his hands to get her attention. "You still haven't told me what you think about my well, Hijirido."

Hondomachi looked around at the empty spaces that had been filled with the return of her memory, the way all the disjointed pieces fit together while still leaving gaps, and she smiled at Anaido.

"It's interesting, just like you."

"Isn't it? Let's take a look around," Anaido offered, pulling open the door to the room. Hondomachi spared a moment to glance back at Kaeru, then followed him out, letting him take the lead.

"So, what's this about? Just visiting?" he asked, and she nodded.

"I just want to know more about you. You saved my life, so the least I can do is try to remember you. But all I really know is the Perforator. What were you like before that? How did you become who you are?"

"Wow! What a hard worker!" Anaido exclaimed, turning around and walking backwards so he could look at her. "But there's no debt of obligation, Hijirido. I just did what I wanted to do, and it worked out for the best for both of us. And I was even able to get three wishes granted: I think I had the better end of the bargain."

"I still want to know," Hondomachi insisted, and he nodded, turning around again and leading them off in a different direction.

"Well, then, let's find somewhere that we can be comfortable while we talk," he suggested. After pulling a few more rooms together, they found the living room that was occupied by Fukuda's "family." The sight of his victims troubled Hondomachi somewhat, though Anaido seemed fascinated by them. Still, the prospect of talking to a real person rather than something his mind had generated proved to be a greater draw, and they continued to piece together the fragmented well. 

Eventually, they were able to find a simple room that was probably part of a basement: blank walls, no windows, and a few pieces of furniture. Anaido's fingers tapped in a steady rhythm on his leg after they had each taken a seat, but there were no other obvious signs of his arithmomania in the mostly bare room.

"You know, even if John Walker hadn't shown up in my dreams, I might have started drilling holes in other people anyways," Anaido commented, and Hondomachi nodded. He wouldn't know anything that had happened in Asukai's well, but their conversation then had suggested as much. When she had reviewed Narihisago's investigations and interviewed Fukuda, she'd realized that he was the only one of Chief Hayaseura's targets who had refused to kill Asukai, since he had no interest in "dream holes." Unlike the other killers, who were driven by a desire to kill, he just wanted to help people in the way that a hole in his head had helped him: the resulting deaths were just incidental. It didn't make the reality any less terrible, and there was no doubt that Fukuda was certifiably insane for having such a thought process, but he was at least marginally more sympathetic for it.

"Before that, though, I think that I had a fairly ordinary life. Or as ordinary as it could be with this."

He raised a hand to tap the right side of his head.

"It was a blessing and a curse. I made good money as a programmer, enough that I could stay home most of the time so I didn't have to deal with a flood of numbers, other than when I was working. And I was good at what I did. But maybe that just made things worse, because they started to drown out everything else. I began to see numbers everywhere: four walls, two windows, even the cracks in the ceiling. Eventually, even when I closed my eyes, they continued to pour in. And when it finally became too much..."

He shrugged. When it had finally become too much, he had tried to end it by putting a hole through his head. It was a common enough method, if not for the tool he had chosen for the task.

"Why a drill?" Hondomachi asked, and Anaido smiled as he pointed at her hole.

"Why indeed? I always tried to put them in the same place, you know. How much do you know about the anatomy of the brain?"

"Not much," Hondomachi admitted, and Anaido turned his finger onto himself, placing it on his forehead where his own hole had been.

"The frontal lobe is in charge of many things, including working memory. In layman's terms, something like attention span."

Tracing his finger around his head to where the drill had broken through the back of his skull, he continued, "The parietal lobe is important for sensing, and more importantly, in my case, for numbers. It is perfectly possible to keep living even with damage to both those areas, as you've learned. I merely decided to roll the dice."

"And you won your gamble."

"I did. And so did you. Con-grat-s!" He jabbed his fingers toward her again, still as chipper as always. But Hondomachi noticed how his eyes were shifting, taking in everything in bits and pieces, but mostly focusing on her--or more likely, the patterns in her clothes--in the barren room. Reluctantly, she got to her feet, brushing off her legs.

"I'm sorry again. I'll go now, but... would you mind if we did this again sometime? Just talking a little, once in a while?"

Anaido's head cocked slightly, and his smile softened, looking more like Fukuda than the brilliant detective.

"If it really just is 'once in a while,' I might like that, Hondomachi."

She smiled back, and then both of them looked up as an invisible hand tugged them into the sky. Hondomachi opened her eyes as the Mizuhanome cockpit settled around her, her gaze shifting to the other machine, where Fukuda lay, unmoving. Two guards were already there, starting to move him to a gurney, and she just watched until they left.

"Are you alright, Hondomachi?"

She smiled, looking up toward the ceiling.

"I'm fine, Director Momoki."

"Then please get ready. We have a new well to investigate."

[lochrannn]

Relationship: Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts  

Characters: Lila PittsDiego Hargreeves  

Additional Tags: Explicit Sexual Content; Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot; Porn with Feelings; Smut; Choking; Undernegotiated Kink; but with ongoing negotiation; everything is explicitly consesual

-

Lila has never told Diego that the hottest thing about sleeping with him is the way he looks at her.

That’s not quite accurate, really, the whole endeavour is stupidly sexy because Diego is built like a tank, but limber in a way you wouldn’t necessarily expect from someone of his size, and he is always eager to please and prove himself.

That she has actually mentioned to him. How it feels just a little bit like he’s in competition with himself sometimes. She didn’t tell him because she has any real objections, she is the beneficiary of this habit, after all, she just worries for his sense of self-worth sometimes.

Diego walks around with a confident swagger and a fuck you attitude, but late at night in bed, when he’s sure she can’t see his face, he tells her about the humiliations he suffered under his father and how much it actually did hurt to be kicked out of the police academy.

Nevertheless, he inevitably sulked for a couple of days and when they had sex the next time, he tried his best to be as lazy about it as possible. It was so silly that it made Lila crack up and that, in turn, cracked Diego and they spent the rest of the evening seeing how little effort they could put in and still get each other off. It was so stupid but it’s become one of Lila’s fondest memories.

And even that time, when they finally sank into each other, he looked at her like she had hung the moon, like she was someone worth worshipping.

That’s also how he’s looking at her now.

Soft, full lips slightly parted, his warm brown eyes big and round and full of emotion. Lila can’t look away.

Diego’s staring up at her where she’s sat straddling him, undulating her hips slowly, and she can’t resist squeezing her pelvic muscles just to watch his eyes slip closed and a soft groan fall from his mouth.

His grip tightens where he has one hand on her bum and his other hand that’s splayed out on her belly pushes against her a little harder and the sudden added friction and pressure inside her make Lila’s thigh muscles spasm and she involuntarily lifts herself up and tips forward just a bit, a moan on her lips.

When she catches her breath and looks back at Diego, she sees how just the slightest hint of smugness has snuck into his expression so she sits back down on him hard, making them both gasp, but this time he doesn’t close his eyes, instead keeping his penetrating gaze on her and fuck if it’s not the hottest sight she’s ever seen.

Diego moves his hand up her body as they lazily continue rocking against each other, savouring the moment.

He splayes his hand out over her ribs, then moves it further up to cup her breast, catching her nipple between two fingers and squeezing them together, causing a delicious sting to zing along Lila’s nerve endings.

She bites her bottom lip and moans again softly and hears a rush of a breath leaving Diego’s mouth that sounds distinctly like a curse, but maybe it’s a prayer.

Lila still can’t believe that during what ended up being one of the most tumultuous and tragic weeks of her life she also forged what has now become the most intimate connection she’s ever experienced.

And despite everything she put him through when they first met, he trusts her unconditionally. And Lila’s never trusted anyone as deeply as she does Diego. Even when she still believed in her mother, she knew the woman always had an angle, that she could never trust her fully. But not Diego, he’s never been anything but honest with her.

Lila often wonders whether she tells him enough just how much that means to her.

That thought sparks an idea and without ceasing her movements she grips Diego’s wrist, pulling his hand away from her breast and then she puts it to her throat and covers it with her other hand.

Diego freezes. “What are you doing?” A small crease appears between his eyebrows.

Lila is suddenly unsure of herself and tries not to let too much of the defensiveness that boils up in her come out when she says, “What does it look like?” with a bit of a sarcastic smirk.

Diego’s features don’t relax and instead he says, “Lila, I don’t… I don’t know if this is a good idea.” His long fingers flutter just a little under hers, but he doesn’t pull his hand away.

Ok, so they should have probably talked this out beforehand and Lila regrets acting on the spur-of-the-moment just a bit, but they’re here now and it’s not uncommon for them to just have a full blown conversation in the middle of having sex. They usually just pick up where they left off once they’ve sorted out whatever has come up.

It’s not like Diego should be particularly worried about her, either. She’s a Commission trained assassin. They’ve even fought each other often at his gym and quite brutally at that. But Lila has to concede that outside of the ring, Diego has never touched her with anything but gentleness and care.

Maybe she’s never fully considered how important that is to him.

She tries to lighten the mood, “Oh c’mon, it’s not like anything can happen, I’ll just tap into your whole not-breathing thing and I’ll be fine!” she smiles at him brightly, hoping that will reassure him.

His concerned expression turns into one of confusion. “That’s not how this works,” he says, cocking his head to the side where he’s lying against the pillow.

“It’s not about restricted airflow, it’s about cutting off blood circulation to the brain.” As he says that, Diego strokes his thumb along the underside of her jaw, pressing ever so slightly into her jugular.

Lila’s breath hitches maybe a bit out of surprise and a lot out of excitement and she drops the hand that was covering his down to his chest and rubs his pec seductively, “You know an awful lot about this,” she says, putting on a sultry voice, and gives him a wicked smile.

Diego considers her for a moment then chuckles and says, “I learned how to choke out grown-ass men when I was seven and I bet you weren’t any older. Don’t bullshit me, I know you know how this works!"

“See, so we both know what we’re doing. Nothing to worry about, then!” She gives him another smile, a more innocent one now, she’s pretty certain she’s brought him round anyway.

“You really wanna do this, huh?” Diego asks and brings his other hand back around to lay it over hers where she still has it resting on his chest.

“Uh-huh! I trust you Diego!” Lila says as earnestly as possible.

There’s a flutter in her stomach and she’s suddenly reminded that Diego’s still been inside her this entire time. Yeah, she’s been thinking about trying something like this out for a while, but it’s also true that it’s never even occurred to her with anyone else. She would never have been able to let her guard down like this. Now she craves the vulnerability.

“Okay,” Diego responds, his voice a bit breathy, maybe a tad overwhelmed, but he’s clearly willing to give her this. “But you keep your hand around my wrist, alright? And if your grip loosens cause you’re about to pass out, I stop! And if you say anything that sounds in any way like stop, I let go, okay? We’re not picking a word or whatever, anything that isn’t a clear keep going, I stop!”

“Yeah okay!” Lila concedes. She feels like Diego is mostly reassuring himself, but she is grateful for him to be setting his own boundaries.

“Okay,” Diego repeats and his fingers on her throat flutter once more before they tighten just a bit right under her jaw. That’s the thing, it doesn’t actually take a lot of pressure.

Lila uses the hand she still has on his chest for balance and lifts herself up a few inches, before dropping back down and they both moan at the sensation.

It doesn’t take them long to find a rhythm and Lila can feel her arousal building more and more.

Diego’s not taken his eyes off her face once, as if he’s afraid that he could miss any sign of her discomfort.

Lila, in turn, can’t look away from him, either, because again he’s looking at her like she’s something fragile, something worth protecting, things she doesn’t believe about herself at all, but she loves that Diego does, and it makes her heart stutter in her chest.

But soon she realises that she’s getting a bit light-headed, losing focus, that her movements are getting slower, disjointed.

Diego’s apparently noticed the same thing because he stops rolling his hips up into her and loosens his grip on her throat.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Lila says. She smiles at him and hopes that he’s reassured even if it comes on just a bit slowly.

“You wanna stop?” Diego asks then, completely letting go of her throat and resting his hand at the base of her neck.

“No, c’mon, I’m okay!” Lila replies, trying not to whine. She can’t really put it into words, but the feeling she’s experienced in the last couple of minutes was weird, sure, but new and hot and she just wants to see how far she can take this, how much more turned on she can get. “Grip on your wrist’s still strong, see!'' She squeezes his wrist to demonstrate.

“What’s it like?” Diego asks almost conversationally and Lila chuckles in surprise.

“It’s good! It’s a bit weird as well, but it’s mostly good. I don’t know how to describe it. I’m sure you’ve been choked out before, you know what that feels like.” she tries to explain.

“Yeah never like this, though, and usually not for this long,” Diego shoots back his brow creasing a bit.

“I really am okay, Diego!” Lila says emphatically. “I'm just finding it a bit hard to focus, but please don’t stop!”

Diego sighs heavily, gives her a curt nod, and then, taking her entirely by surprise, he rolls them over so that he’s on top, only keeping some of his weight off her, propped up on one elbow, the other arm on her chest, hand back around her throat.

“I’ve really gotta do everything around here, huh?” he says with the hint of a smirk, eyes crinkling a bit, and then thrusts into her hard.

It doesn’t take long for Lila to see stars, but somehow the restricted blood flow to her brain now has the opposite effect from before. Now that she’s no longer under any strain to keep herself upright her focus zeroes in on all of the ways Diego’s making her delirious with pleasure.

The stretch and burn of where he’s pushing into her. The way his pelvis occasionally rubs against her clit. His forearm resting between her breasts, putting pressure on her lungs, making it even harder to breath, yet that actually turns her on still more.

The squeeze on her throat, just enough to keep her on the edge, but not enough to actually hurt. Somehow, what should evoke memories of violence and fear in her, feels like the most gentle caress when it's Diego's fingers.

She's clinging onto him, gripping his forearm with both hands and her thighs are pressed against his hips, barely giving him room to move.

And most of all she’s almost driven to distraction by the way he has his lips right up to her ear, gruff voice whispering filthily about how well she’s taking him, how much he loves her, how tight she feels, and how hot it is that she’s trusting him to do this to her.

And then Diego uses his flexibility to pull one of his knees up beside her hip, pressing her thigh into her stomach with his own, changing the angle so he’s hitting spots so deep inside her, and all of a sudden it’s too much for Lila to hold on, as a blinding orgasm rips through her, making her whimper. She squeezes her eyes shut and can vaguely feel tears slip out of the corners as she comes. Her whole body tenses and shivers with the intensity and in the end she does lose her grip on Diego’s wrist and his hand instantly disappears from her throat, but she remains breathless all the same.

She feels his elbow settle just next to her head. He slots his lips over hers for a deep, messy kiss while he continues to fuck her through her orgasm, as she scrabbles at his sides for any kind of purchase. And her muscles are still contracting when he finally comes inside of her with a grunt and one last punishingly hard thrust that rips a sob from her throat.

Lila hasn’t opened her eyes since she first collided with her release, so, panting heavily and going off of feel alone, she puts her hands to either side of Diego’s face, in a way he will often do with her, and drags her thumb along his bottom lip where she can feel his breath rushing in and out fast as well.

Their bodies are still pressed so tightly together that Lila can feel his heart racing in his chest, mirroring her own.

Diego then lets out a shaky exhale, kisses the pad of her finger and rolls off her.

He loses no time in gathering her up in his arms and dragging her to rest half on top of him.

Lila finally opens her eyes as Diego begins stroking her hair and kissing the corners of her eyes, presumably to erase the slight damp patches her tears left there.

“You okay?” he whispers into her hair, his voice still not quite steady.

“Yeah,” she breathes out, “Fuck, yeah, definitely okay. More than okay, really!” Then she adds, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah… Jesus, that was intense, but I’m good,” he mumbles against her cheek and Lila laughs gently at the way his stubble tickles her face. Then he goes on, “Fuck, Lila, I love you so much, you know that, right?”

“So you keep saying,” she says with another gentle chuckle and a yawn, as she lays her face in the crook of his neck, but apparently Diego’s not quite ready to let her drift off as he lifts her up slightly by her shoulders, so he can look her in the eyes. He doesn’t even say anything, just stares at her imploringly, so she brings up her hand to his cheek and says, “I love you too, you old sap. Can’t even dick down and choke out your girlfriend without making it romantic!”

She only catches the beginning of his smile because then she presses her lips to his for one more languid kiss before she settles back down on his chest.

They will clean up later, but for now she’d just like to bask in her post orgasmic bliss for a bit.

[rvmmm21]

. unpleasant reminders (3.0) .

small note : i don’t know how tipping works in other countries (i promise this is relevant), perhaps, but where i live it isn’t mandatory to tip your waiters? also i know it can be rather condescending to say ‘keep the change’ as opposed to ‘here’s a tip’, but uh i decided to stick with the theme, i suppose. anyway i don’t really know what this is, but the idea was fun to play around with.

tw : exhibitionism, public sex-ish? dubcon.

...

She knew. She just knew it wouldn’t go well, to let Seungwan talk them into going to that café. She deserved to be punished for even asking, in all honesty. But she’d just looked so… so happy that day, and she looked so cute bouncing up and down like she’d just gotten a gold star in class for best effort.

“Come on, please, baby?” the alpha had asked ever so sweetly. “It’ll be fine, and you already know Seulgi’s a beta. We’ve been friends for ages!”

And when Joohyun didn’t answer immediately, Seungwan all but relented, feeling extra brave and sidling up to her, making sure to peer up with those soulful, puppy-dog eyes she knows Joohyun just loves. “Hyunnie, I’ve been good, haven’t I? I’ve been extra good! No punishments this week!”

Is she serious? How is her girlfriend hellbent on visiting this café which apparently does ‘the best bangers and mash in the city’ when Joohyun herself is an adventure and a half? And seriously, ‘bangers and mash’? What a godawful name. Why is her innocent little alpha so intrigued by something that sounds like it has to be code for something lewd and lecherous?

“It’s just sausages and mashed potatoes, unnie… it’s nothing dirty like what you’re thinking!” Seungwan had reassured over and over, but Joohyun remained skeptical the entire drive up there.  

…

So now she finds herself forking begrudgingly delicious sausage bits into her mouth and chewing angrily, feeling her irritation rise as she watches Seungwan, her alpha.

Flirt.

With this beta.

Seulgi, or whatever her name is.

The other girl all but senses this, of course, too focused on catching up with her childhood friend to pick up on the waves of the woman who’s as good as a stranger sitting across her. Not that she hadn’t tried to, initially, however it seemed as though Bae Joohyun was content staying a brick wall.

Joohyun very nearly chokes on her drink when Seulgi insists Seungwan try a piece of something that looks exactly like what she’s already got on her plate. Seungwan doesn’t notice her poor girlfriend almost choke to death, but that’s because she’s got her lips around Seulgi’s fork. The omega doesn’t even feel her own incisors sinking into the inside of her cheek to keep them from sinking into this other girl’s fucking neck. How she mentally trembles, shakes in anger when she sees Seungwan blush at yet another thing Seulgi says. The blush that belongs to her and no one else.

That’s an indirect kiss. Sharing food off the same fork is an indirect fucking kiss, Son Seungwan.

Yeah how does she taste, Joohyun internally seethes, bet you’re enjoying that, aren’t you, beta. The way Seungwan tastes should only ever be reserved for her.

Everything about Seungwan should only ever be reserved for her. Sure, Seungwan and Seulgi have this funny childhood incident involving Pringles, but does Seulgi know things about her ‘best-friend’ like she does? Seulgi hasn’t the faintest clue about the real Seungwan. Not like Joohyun. Joohyun knows her – she can recite Seungwan’s order at any restaurant they’ve ever been to backwards and blindfolded, she knows Seungwan still needs to squeeze her little stuffed bunny to sleep, she knows where and when she’s had her first kiss; she knows if she’s having a bad dream based on how tightly she clings onto her during the night.

And…

… and she knows how to make her cum. Whether it’s pressed up against the counter with her tongue pressed flat against the underside of her cock or controlling the movement of her hips when she’s grinding into her, Joohyun knows every in-and-out of driving her alpha crazy to the point where it’s all she can do to just lay there and pant.

Seulgi will never know her like that.

Joohyun will just have to prove it.

She couldn’t care less about table manners, not now, anyway. Not when Seungwan hasn’t given her a choice but to remind her who she belongs to.

Seungwan’s too busy yapping with Seulgi to notice her girlfriend’s wandering hand – slipping down under the table and across to where she’s sitting – until she feels a light pressure on her crotch. Joohyun side-eyes her, watching as Seungwan shifts a little, probably wondering if Joohyun had meant to rest her hand on her thigh or her lap… you know, like many couples do. But a prompt squeeze tells her otherwise. Seungwan’s voice breaks in the middle of her reply to Seulgi and her lips fall open. She shoots Joohyun a quick glance but continues as though nothing had happened.

Playing tough, huh, puppy, Joohyun thinks. Easily sorted.

Her hand explores a little more. She feels her target through Seungwan’s favourite pair of sweatpants; it’s soft, but that’s something she intends to fix. She rubs her through the thick fabric, failing to conceal her growing smile at how uncomfortable her alpha looks right now. Good enough to devour; that’s how she looks. Focused eyes take a moment to scan the patrons of the café, who are all obliviously going about their day, all none the wiser. Joohyun can’t help it, she just knows every omega in this goddamned room must be brimming with jealousy that it’s her who gets to walk under Seungwan’s arm, that it’s her who gets to take Seungwan home every night.

She wouldn’t be surprised if Seulgi, beta as she is, hasn’t felt the same.

It doesn’t take two seconds before Seungwan is juggling between holding an increasingly awkward conversation and constantly trying to hide her raging boner from the public, lifting her knees, adjusting her chair, anything to get that hand away from her crotch. It’s tough luck, though, Joohyun’s found what she wants, and she isn’t letting go. One of them is going to have to give in at some point, and by the looks of Seungwan, it’s not going to be Joohyun.

Seems like things have taken an unprecedented turn, and Seungwan is looking like she’s closer and closer to asking for the bill.

“Are you alright, baby?” Joohyun asks casually as she tightens her grip on Seungwan’s erection through her trousers. “You look a little… flushed.”

Her hand is so soft, so supple, and it knows what it’s doing, much to Seungwan’s dismay. Then again, she really shouldn’t be surprised. Joohyun knows exactly how she likes it, where she likes it, and how the underside of her head gets so sensitive after it’s been teased for a while. Her omega’s favourite thing to do before letting her cum is to tell her she can’t. She loves hearing her whine all high-pitched when she rubs a thumb, or a finger, or a tongue over that spot on her tip; the spot which never fails to pull a reaction from the younger girl that Joohyun considers utterly delectable.

And this time is no different. Seungwan’s pleading little mewl is enough to get her panties slightly more damp, so she focuses all her pressure into palming the head of her cock through her sweats as a punishment.

Aw, sweetheart, Joohyun thinks, you can’t be so obvious, now. Seulgi’s going to notice.

It’s dreadfully noticeable; the way Seungwan’s knuckles are turning white from gripping the edge of her seat, and not to mention the fact that she has to find a way to surreptitiously bite her lip to keep from gasping every time Joohyun gives her a firm, downwards stroke.

Seulgi has no clue what Joohyun’s doing to her best friend under the table and continues to attempt to keep up the dying conversation (although the progressive confusion at Seungwan’s disjointed responses is showing more and more on her face).

Whether or not Seungwan had been ecstatic to get groped over her trousers in public, she can’t deny the swelling in her balls and the humiliating dark patch right at the seam of her crotch where she’s leaked enough precum to sink a battleship… and say if they were in a more private setting, that she’d be begging for Joohyun to take care of her.

The friction is driving her to the edge, Joohyun can tell by how it’s twitching in her fist that Seungwan is desperately trying to keep it in.

What do you think, she gauges Seungwan’s rapidly declining self-control, does my puppy need something better than a hand?

The alpha should be thankful her omega is feeling exceptionally merciful today. She decides not to make this lesson any more degrading that it already is, and with a final squeeze, she lets go completely.

But the sudden release of pressure doesn’t quite have the same effect on poor Seungwan. She doesn’t think she would’ve lasted another second. As soon as it’s relented, she feels something of a bolt of electricity shoot down her spine, and the muscles in her hand contract on impulse. The hand that she had decided to wrap around her drink so she could clench it, play with the condensation, just to overall lessen the intensity of what was going on in her lap.

And fuck! Now there’s sugary liquid all down the front of her t shirt, staining her trousers and dripping off the edges of the table.

“Oh goodness,” Joohyun exclaims, immediately retracting her hand from her lap to get her a tissue to soak some of it up.

Seulgi scoffs at her friend flushed crimson. “Well co-ordinated.”

“It’s okay, thank you, Hyun. I’ll just go clean up in the bathroom.” Seungwan hurriedly grabs the tissues from her girlfriend and awkwardly stumbles away from the scene, keeping them against her crotch in the hopes that no one can see how aroused she still is.

Joohyun is in the middle of paying (for their lunch and the inconvenience) when she catches Seungwan in the corner of her eye, waiting by the entrance of the bathroom. Her eyes are wide, watery and pleading, and there’s an unmistakable blush dusted over her cheeks. She recognises that look far too well, but she only ever sees it when Seungwan’s feeling particularly… needy, or in need of assistance in a special sort of way.

Does she mean… here? Now?

Joohyun feels a stir somewhere deep in her belly, and she turns to look up at the waiter.

Young-ish, just out of college, maybe. He looks like he could use what she’s about to give him to get himself a properly functioning razor.

She gives him her best, tight-lipped smile and hands him a single note, ignoring the way his brow quirks up. “Keep the change.”

After rat-boy slinks off with probably the hugest tip he’ll ever receive in his time working as a waiter, Joohyun stands up so fast she barely manages to catch her own glass from toppling over. Seungwan is already in the bathroom, and Joohyun makes to follow her, but she’ll be polite first.

Besides, it was Seulgi’s idea to meet up today, so she kind of has her to thank for what’s about to happen.

[wickymicky]

wickymicky’s Top Ten Kpop Songs of 2020

1: Dreamcatcher - Scream

There was a point in the process of making this list where I really thought Scream had been surpassed. I was prepared to commit to that idea, and write this with another song being my pick for Song of the Year. But, the reason I’m still going with Scream as my number one is because... well... Scream is something special. I can’t predict the future or anything, but if I can make a guess, I would predict that this song will go on to have a certain kind of legacy that very few songs ever get. This wasn’t just one of the best kpop songs of 2020, it was one of the best (if not THE best) moment of 2020. 

I still can’t believe this song is real. I liked Dreamcatcher before it came out, in fact I loved them. They were my number 1 favorite group. But choosing a favorite Dreamcatcher song was always kind of difficult to me. I liked them all, but there wasn’t one that stood out more than the others and appealed to my taste more. Scream did immediately, though. My hype in the days leading up to its release was really high, I knew it would be good, and it did not disappoint lol. Usually when I listen to a song for the first time, my reaction is sort of like “huh okay, interesting”. Scream is the only song on this list that I loved immediately. It’s the only one that had me going “NO WAY.... OH MY GOD YES” during my first listen haha. La Di Da came close, but Scream is in a league of its own in that respect. I wound up loving all the songs on this list, but some took time, you know? Scream didn’t take any time at all, it was immediate. 

Before getting into kpop, I listened to a lot of metal and things like that. I still do, now and then. So you might think it makes sense that Dreamcatcher was my favorite group, but actually, that was kind of a barrier to me getting into them. See, I’m picky about that stuff, and I wished Dreamcatcher committed harder to that kind of thing. They don’t really have many metal-inspired songs, the furthest most of them go is just like hard rock, if anything. What ended up getting me into Dreamcatcher was the pop aspects of their songs, not the rock/metal ones. It was the catchiness of their songs, not the edginess or guitar or whatever lol. Their song “What” was the most up my alley in terms of metal-ness, but even then, that’s not the reason I love that song. With the Dystopia series starting this year though, they hinted that they would be stepping back somewhat from the rock/metal aspects. Not totally, obviously, it’ll always be a key element in their sound, but Scream is one of their least rock-inspired comebacks ever, and one of their most EDM-inspired. However, it appeals to my metal taste the most. lol. Funny how that works.

It’s dark. Their other title tracks had had some edginess in them, but for the most part they were kinda uplifting or hopeful, in the way that jrock can kinda be, that was definitely a big inspiration for their sound. But Scream… Scream is dark. I believe the lyrics are from the perspective of a witch being burned at the stake. And damn, the drop in Scream’s chorus is maybe the most metal thing I’ve heard in any kpop song ever. That thumping, bounding bass or percussion or whatever that is... it hits me the same way blast beats do in black metal songs haha. The guitar (or synth?) that makes up the main melody of the drop is so threatening too, it’s very, very good. There’s something about the “Devil. Eyes. Come. Nuneul tteunda” that I just instantly knew would be memorable. I think it’ll go down as one of the defining moments of Dreamcatcher’s entire discography. 

If I have one criticism of the song though, it’s that the verses and prechoruses dont necessarily give me the same rush that the chorus does. I know that’s kind of the name of the game with drop-choruses, but still, it makes listening to the song a bit of a disjointed experience, I’m really just waiting for that chorus for the first minute of the song. The verses and prechoruses are good too, but you know what I mean right? That’s just how drop songs are, they’re built around setting up for the monster in the chorus. I just think that songs like Tag Me and Mago are more consistent throughout, there really isn’t a part of either of those songs where I feel like I’m waiting for the next part, I’m always just savoring whatever is currently happening. That being said, the drop here is so good that it kinda makes up for it. Especially the final one, oh my god. I don’t have any problems with the bridge either really, for whatever reason I feel like that part doesn’t halt the momentum too much. 

But so, even with that criticism, I still have to pick it as my number one song of the year, because… it’s one of those rare songs that is more than just a song. Much more. The aesthetic of the video, the outfits, the choreo, the live stages, every single aspect of this entire comeback era was so immaculate lol. It was the most fun I had being into kpop in all of 2020, though that might also be because it was before quarantine... but uh, anyway... If I picked one of the other songs to be my number one song, something just wouldn’t feel right. I’m not sure why though, because as I said, I think there are songs that I enjoy more thoroughly for the duration of the runtime. So then, why did I pick this over them? Why does it just feel like the right call? I’m not sure, but I think it just comes down to bias lol. An intangible feeling of attachment to it. I love Tag Me, I love Mago, I love La Di Da, I love Cool, I love Kick It and Boca and Assa and Crossroads and Fiesta and Black Mamba and So Bad and Monster and Naughty and I Can’t Stop Me and Turn Back Time and aaaaaaaall the other great songs that came out this year, but I don’t love them the way I love Scream. They don’t mean as much to me as Scream does. 

This was one of those comebacks that feels like a real moment... like, I really can think of it as “what kpop was to me before scream” and “what kpop was to me after scream” haha, it changed the game. It’s not my favorite kpop song ever, that would be Picky Picky still, but at this point I think I can say that this is my second favorite, which in my opinion is like some of the highest praise I’m capable of giving lmao. It wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t pick this song as my song of the year, because it really defined this year. 

Congrats Scream! And happy new year <3

links to the rest of the list: 10 - Fiesta (Izone) 9 - Crossroads (GFriend) 8 - Assa (Cignature) 7 - Boca (Dreamcatcher) 6 - Kick It (NCT 127) 5 - Cool (Weki Meki) 4 - La Di Da (Everglow) 3 - Mago (GFriend) 2 - Tag Me (Weeekly) 1 - Scream (Dreamcatcher)

[issa-me-addy]

to put it simply: if you like anything on this list, we should like... totally be friends/moots

YES THIS IS LONG AND I APOLOGIZE BUT ITS BEEN IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I FELT AS IF I MUST EXPLAIN MYSELF AND MY BLOG FOR BEING A SHITSHOW OF JUST ALL THE THINGS I LIKE

this list is also for my current followers/moots to get to know me and know what to anticipate on my blog from here on out 

i like a lot of things and obvi i post more of some things than others 

but i’m mostly making this to find new friends/blogs to follow

ALSO MUST NOTE: THIS BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE 

I AM HERE FOR ANYONE I WILL ALWAYS RESPOND AND ALWAYS LISTEN AND DO WHAT I CAN TO HELP 

ALSO THIS BLOG DOES NOT TOLERATE ANY TYPE OF ASSHOLES 

I SUPPORT THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY, THE BLM MOVEMENTS, I BELIEVE THAT NOBODY IS ILLEGAL, I AM RESPECTFUL TO ALL BELIEF SYSTEMS, WOMEN ARE AMAZING, TRANSRIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS, I BOOST POC REPRESENTATION IN MEDIA, 

AND I BELIEVE IN LOVE AND KINDNESS AS THE FOREFRONT OF THIS BLOG AND EVERYTHING I AM. BUT I WILL FUCK UP A TRICKASSBITCH FOR BEING FUCKING RUDE. 

also again, this post is really long i apologize

first and foremost i love the gays

i myself am a little bit gay

ok into the good stuff

DISNEY

like all things Disney, Pixar & select DCOMS

esp hsmtmts one of my many new found obsessions

also i love disneyland (los angeles born and raised baybee) 

i also like rollercoasters in general & universal studios is fun~

im a little into star wars been a slow and steady incline 

Marvel

but mostly

Bucky

Steve

Peter, both Parker & Quill

and the rest of the Guardians

ATLA

Zutara

if u shit on zutara u can go byebye idc if you ship kataang just don’t be a dick about zutara ok? ok.

also u MUST STAN APPA,TOPH,&SUKI

also huru but only pre-mustache 

all the Harry Potter things

but fuck JK Rowling frfr cos shes a nasty ass trifilin ass bitch 

the og hp books 1-7 are honestly the only relevant things shes ever produced

MUSICALS

including but not limited to

anything written by Lin Manuel including 21 Chump Street aka his best work

Heathers

Hadestown

Dear Evan Hansen

Wicked

Waitress 

Newsies

The Last Five Years

Mamma Mia

Beetlejuice

AND MANY MORE

One Direction (yes i know judge me)

but mostly Harry Styles and Fine Line

5sos minus the fandom because theyre problematic as fuck rn! 

pop punk trash

mostly State Champs

Neck Deep

All Time Low

Alex & Jack’s podcast/streamcast

We The Kings

Simple Plan

the list goes on but i’m getting annoying

also artists like

Tori Kelly

Kehlani

P!atd & Brendon

use those artists as genre/vibe reference lol

AND FINALLY SHOWS

i’m currently watching the Marvel TV shows but i can’t binge daredevil for some reason

but i am 100% in love with Mattew Murdock don’t get it twisted

i am SPN trash although i have to rewatch the last few seasons i don’t know wtf is going on anymore

NEW GIRL

NICK MILLER IS THE LOML

himym is up there

yes i’m friends trash idgaf judgey/bad vibes are not acceptable on this blog idc idc

b99

jake & amy are top tier otp

and Rosa’s very important to me

i aspire to be like the Gilmore Girls

except for rory’s probematicness at the end/in the reboot

ONE TREE HILL i will still title it the best show ever its… so good and also just sentimental to me because its the first show my sister and i really watched tg 

also watched like all of Grey’s because my mom was obsessed 

AND honorable mentions to these shows that i finished oh so long ago

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 

SMALLVILLE

i <3 the following netflix ogs

One Day At A Time (i havent watched anything since netflix released them tho oop) 

On My Block

The Get Down (i will never forgive you or netflix for letting this show die) 

Lucifer

The Umbrella Academy (even though i don’t remember jack shit about whats going on) 

Disjointed

Stranger Things

The Haunting of Hill House

i got mixed feelings ab ‘You’

started but did not finish

(edit: adding cos how could i forget) TEENWOLF

the 100

vampire diaries

the originals

Jane the Virgin

AND here r some miscellaneous bullshit things i’m into 

i do be sewing my own clothes thats kinda a new hobby though but we fucks it 

i like baking stuff… just cookies and brownies are my favorite thing on the planet 

i play a few instruments (piano, bass, uke & guitar) but i am very not good at any of them and yes i will obnoxiously sing whenever given the chance 

i am semi obsessed with makeup because my older sister is a licensed makeup artist 

which also means i love beauty gurus my current favs are 

kathleen lights

jackie aina 

& the queen herself 

mykie aka glam and gore 

so yes i also like fx makeup and creepy tingz 

another random youtube fav of mine is drawfee 

theyre very funny and wholesome i love them dearly 

AND ALSO i am… definitely a stoner 

100% a stoner 

i love the weeds

but its not a forefront in my personality cos i am much more annoying about several other things 

AND YEAH THATS ME! i think that who i am is compiled of all the things i like, the characters i relate to and the media i let flood my senses on a day to day basis– you feel? 

anyways i hope this actually gets me somewhere instead of just mad annoying all of my followers 

I LOVE YOU ALL PLEASE BE MY FRIEND 

[mercurydancer]

Thank you for the rambling, it was an interesting read.

And you’ve now encouraged me and made yourself approachable. My turn to babble.

Again, I love Maul and your depiction of him. He’s formidable. He’s intelligent and dangerous and occasionally unsettling. He’s arrogant and over dramatic. And he’s a broken child who’s been brainwashed and horrifically abused his whole life. And you don’t ignore any of those aspects.

I’m also so charmed by your little Anakin. He’s wise and super insightful and so so sweet. And he still feels like a kid. I am attached to almost everyone else too actually, especially Shmi (thank you for freeing her) and Plo (best dad). I am so amused by the fact that you are basically fixing everything by making everyone actually *communicate*. Maybe not all of it can be quite so simple, but it’s still amazing how much it does solve.

Thank you for writing the fic at all, for giving Maul a chance to be saved, even if you aren’t making it easy. The man is a freaking tragedy. Hopefully less of one in your fic though. How sad is it that his sworn enemies and captors treat him with infinitely more kindness and common decency than the man who raised him? And of course he doesn’t know what to do with that kindness. His confusion throughout is both amusing and heartbreaking.

A couple thoughts that you are not obligated to respond to. I’m curious how the battle on Naboo went down such that it ended with Maul captured and everyone involved alive and (relatively) unscathed. Necessary for the whole “fix-it” perhaps, but I still wonder.

Also curious about Sidious’s attachment to Maul. Like, obviously he’s absolutely horrible to him. Worst father ever. But nonetheless, for better or worse, he made Maul what he is. He raised him. Like you said, their bond is almost filial. But I am hesitant/disinclined (putting it lightly) to call it love in any sense of the word. At least not on Sidious’s part. But what do I know. How much does he care? You show pride, certainly. And possessiveness. At the very least he doesn’t seem eager to throw his apprentice (and all of the work he put into him) away too hastily. Then again, one can care even for a tool.

Another thought. Would force lightening possibly leave lichtenberg figures? I’m not sure if that would be cool or just horrifying...

Anyway, I hope this disjointed ramble finds you well. And is not entirely unwelcome....I look forward to where you take your story. Your writing itself is so fun and immersive and I love how you weave your words together. The bits of lore that you add are also most welcome. I stayed up way too late reading it all, but I really can’t bring myself to regret it.

Ah heck yes, hello~~ I’m glad you liked my ramble, I did my best, and please feel free~ Some things I won’t give out because I have plans for them in the future and for revealings and. I have plans. I have plans within schemes within plots. And it’s going to be so much fun.

But gosh. You are entirely too sweet and I am absolutely going to fucking DIE. So thank you for that LOL. Maul is just. God I’m so happy that people have been loving my Maul! I am, I’m just so glad. I love him so much and it’s so wonderful that people are so on board with him. He really is just all of those things and I work so hard to keep that balance and sometimes it’s hard? So I’m really glad that it’s something that I think is turning out how I want it to.

Anakin though, I’m so GLAD! He’s such a hard balance to pull off!! He is! He’s a little genius boy who was creating droids and building pods at 9, listening to all of these grungy spacers but he’s NINE and I’m glad that he still reads as a kid. Shmi needed to be freed lol so I went and did it, and I’m so glad you love her and Plo! Plo is absolutely best dad and deserves to get a mug saying so or something lol. As for the communication thing oh my god, dude, just. On Ao3 I literally have tagged this story ‘fixing the galaxy one conversation at a time.’ It doesn’t fix everything, it absolutely won’t, but I’m going to do a lot LOL.

I read the book The Wrath of Darth Maul and that was the thing that tipped me into actually needing to save Maul. I have literally never seen a character that I think ‘god, I literally cannot make this person’s life any more tragic than it actually is?’ Like, my main staple of fic is whump, I write a lot of whump (with a lot of comfort to be sure), so I’m pretty creative when it comes to finding ways to hurt a character, but my god. I looked at Maul and went ‘yeah, okay, no. We’re going to save you, shut up, that’s what you’re doing, you are getting lots of kindness and love, and you are not going to understand it, but fuck it, you will enjoy it. eventually. shh. trust me.’ and here we are!

Battle on Naboo is one of those plots within plots situations, and I think that once it’s actually revealed it’s going to be one of those HA moments, but I will point out that Maul does claim Qui-Gon cheats a lot. What could it mean what could it mean lol.

Sidious and Maul is another plot within plot, but... completely canon? Sidious referred to Maul as a loss. Count Dooku was a torpedo, but Maul was a loss, and that’s... Interesting to me.

Force lightning does leave lichtenberg figures, yes, but Maul’s skin makes them pretty difficult to see. Touch him, though, and you can actually feel where they’re raised on his skin.

It has indeed found me well and I hope you are as well, and please feel free~ I have no issue with the rambles, not at all~ I’m so glad you felt comfortable enough to do so, that makes me happy~ I’m hella glad you enjoy my writing lol I’d tell you to get good sleep but I don’t practice what I preach anyway LOL. Stay well~

[ehstarwar]

flesh stays no farther reason (1/6)

Great, she thinks, another horny creep trying to entice young women to hop into bed with them for roughly 30 seconds.

She reads the post anyways.

-

Five times Ben looks for Rey and the one time she finds him.

-

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5K

Read on AO3

Notes: 

my brain at 2a.m., assuring me that it'll be a one-shot: for the lady, perhaps a salad?

me, 5,000+ words in and only on their first meeting: [chuckling] perhaps not

-

1

what's to come is still unsure

She sees it on Reddit.

She doesn’t normally scroll through the website (certainly not subreddits like this) but she’s bored and can only take the same Buzzfeed quizzes so many times.

She’s not sure what led her to this page, how the rabbit hole of the internet made her search r/mseekingfcorusant but here she was, scrolling through the disjointed thoughts of horny guys in her area.

Posted by u/droidwrangerl88

need hot girl to bang. serious inquiries only.

Posted by u/mycumtastelikesarlacc

Any girls in the Coruscant area looking to hook up this evening? 38M seeking mid-20sF. Will split hotel bill.

Posted by u/hotbountyhunter3483

any females interested in shredded guy for an evening? willing to meet for drinks b4 hand, and will pay for ur drinks if ur hot. (943) 349-9684 ;)

Rey finds it consistently astonishing how gross and vulgar men can be when hidden behind a screen. But she is scrolling on this page out of her own free will, so it does seem a little ‘pot-calling-the-kettle-black-ish.’ Just as her finger goes to press back to the home-screen, a tiny blue bubble appears at the top of the page, indicating that there has been a new post made. Great, she thinks, another horny creep trying to entice young women to hop into bed with them for roughly 30 seconds.

She reads the post anyways.

Posted by u/KyL0_R3N

31M seeking similarly aged F for the evening of 05/17. I have an important meeting on the 18th and sex the night before proves to a good luck charm for me. Nothing too crazy or obscene, fairly vanilla to start off with, but willing to go further based on her desires.

Something in Rey clenches.

It’s by far the most eloquently phrased way of asking for sex that she’s seen thus far. He seems straightforward, which is refreshing, but she knows that the best of psychopaths are good at hiding their true intention.

She clicks to his profile.

He seems interested in pretty common threads. Cooking tips, best laundromats in Coruscant, Galaxy Battles discourse; all innocuous and nothing to indicate he would chop up whoever responds to his post. Maybe that’s why she sends him a message.

From u/R3yoflight

why not just download tinder?

everyone on tinder is looking for sex too.

She bites her lip as she presses send. It’s not the best conversation starter, she’s aware, but their semi-introduction was from him posting about wanting to have sex to preform well in a meeting. Formalities can be forgone, in this particular situation. It’s not like she’s trying to impress him either; she didn’t message him to accept is offer, just merely because she’s curious.

There’s a pang of nervousness when she hears the notification sound out that he’s responded.

From u/KyL0_R3N

There’s too much preamble on dating apps.

Also, I’m looking to have sex, not to date.

It seemed more advantageous

to be straightforward.

From u/R3yoflight

hmmmm

i guess that makes sense

(also advantageous is worth 17 points in

scrabble, so kudos)

have you gotten many interested respondents?

From u/KyL0_R3N

You’re the first.

From u/R3yoflight

who says i’m interested???

From u/KyL0_R3N

Well, you are the one who messaged me?

Also, my post has been up for only a few minutes,

so you’re the first respondent in any capacity.

From u/R3yoflight

oooohhh i feel special ☺️✨

From u/KyL0_R3N

You’ve yet to tell me if you’re interested.

Is she?

Is she really considering letting Mr. KyL0_R3N fuck her after meeting him through a publicly placed internet post and knowing next to nothing about him?

From u/R3yoflight

maybe??

idk v much abt u yet

how do i know ur not a serial killer

or that u actually are who u say u are

which u haven’t yet

said who u are, that is

From u/KyL0_R3N

I’m  31M. I work in Coruscant at a tech company.

I’m 6’3, 190lbs. I’m not a killer in any capacity.

You haven’t told me anything about yourself,

which hardly seems fair.

From u/R3yoflight

24F, 5’6, i’m not telling u my weight

i work at an auto shop downtown so i can

kick ur ass if ur lying abt not being a killer

From u/KyL0_R3N  

In order to kick my ass, we’d have to meet.

So, are you interested or not?

From u/R3yoflight

i shouldn’t be

From u/KyL0_R3N

I have the distinct feeling that you are.

Am I right?

From u/R3yoflight

...

yeah

-

He tells her his name is Kylo Ren, which she thinks sounds stupid and made up, but doesn’t press him. They hammer out some more details, agreeing to meet at the bar of a swanky hotel downtown first, and if all goes well, he’ll have a room reserved for them.

When she tells him that she can’t afford to pay any of the room, he dismisses her flippantly with a quick ‘I’ll take care of it’ that makes her chest feel tight.

They don’t talk much after that, only a message from her a few days before hand, making sure the plan was still on, and an affirmative from his side. But a few hours before they’re supposed to meet up, Rey gets a notification from him. It distracts her from the task at hand (precision shaving of her legs and… other parts), causing a knick on the back of her calf.

From u/KyL0_R3N

While I don’t think that we’ll be doing

anything that would require

a safe word, I’d like to have one in case.

From u/R3yoflight

i’ve never had a safe word.

what’s a good one?

From u/KyL0_R3N

It doesn’t have to be anything special.

We can stick to a traditional scale.

Green means you’re good.

Yellow means slow down.

Red means to stop entirely.

Does that work?

From u/R3yoflight

yeah thats good

why don’t you think that we won’t be doing

anything to justify a safe word?

you planning to go easy on me 😈

From u/KyL0_R3N

That depends, sweetheart.

How far are you willing to go?

Rey thinks for a moment. She should have some hard lines set, especially since he’s a total stranger. In fact, she shouldn’t be fucking a stranger at all. But she was in this far, so she may as well go all in.

From u/R3yoflight

i’m not super into choking but a lil breath play

is okay

no extreme bondage or degradation

maybe at some point but just… not now

anything in my ass will require a lot of work

before hand bc not much has been in there.

any hard no’s 4 u?

i’m on birth control so u can come inside me

if you want

From u/KyL0_R3N

I think we should stick to no

bondage/degradation/breath play for now

I’m not super into those anyways.

I’ll keep that in mind about your ass.

Maybe nothing in my ass. For now.

That about covers my no’s.

What are some of you hard yes’s?

From u/R3yoflight

i like being taken control of, dominated, i guess

kissing is big for me but i get it if u don’t like it

also major daddy kink but that can be

controlled if its not ur thing

what do u like

From u/KyL0_R3N

Very much yes to that Daddy kink and kissing.

I lean towards dom anyway, so that should work out.

I like hickeys. Giving and receiving.

I also have pretty good stamina, just a warning.

From u/R3yoflight

i like a man with good stamina ;)

u gonna wear me out tonight? 😈

From u/KyL0_R3N

Yes. Yes I am.

-

She gets there late. Unlike every other time she runs late for something, this time is purposeful. If he gets angry with her, she’ll know to leave. And she’s counting on that. Him giving her a reason to leave. She needs it so she doesn’t do something stupider than what she’s already doing now.

But when she arrives and see’s the absolute mammoth of a man, with long-is black hair and moles and big ears, Rey just knows she’s in for it.

He stands when he sees her. Realistically she knew that 6’3 was tall, but it’s still a bit shocking to her. One of his gargantuan hands is holding a beer, the other resting on the back of the chair. She spends a second too long admiring his form, earning a knowing-but-slight smirk from him.

“You’re Kylo.” It’s an unnecessary statement, because who else could he be, but one that is said all the same.

“And you’re Rey.”

His fucking voice. It’s too beautiful to be addressing her, she’s sure of it.

“Work ran over, that’s why I’m late.” She wasn’t going to give him an excuse, but the words fall out of her mouth.

“I’m familiar with that myself. It’s no trouble, really.” He holds the chair out for her, and she gracefully takes a seat. A server comes around and takes her drink order of a club soda before scurrying off.

“Nothing to relax the nerves?” He question, taking a sip of his drink.

“I prefer to have a clear head for…” She trails off. What does this qualify as? A hook-up? A booty-call? A job interview?

“Good girl.”

Her breath stops for a moment before she remembers its necessary to survive.

“You said you work for a tech company downtown; is it close?” She asks, hoping she sounds passive.

“Not far. I need to be close for tomorrow.” He never looks away from her; it makes her sweat.

The server comes back with her drink, and Rey takes a giant gulp, just for something to preoccupy her mouth.

“You said you work for an auto shop downtown. What do you do there?” He asks, eying her hands curiously. Rey worries that he’ll realize she wasn’t actually at work if her hands aren’t greasy, so she hides them under the table.

“I’m a mechanic,” She tells him, sitting up straighter.

“You’re…” He begins, but she cuts him off.

“A woman mechanic, yes. It’s not entirely uncommon.”

“I was going to say young.” She bites her lip. His voice doesn’t sound like its chastising her, but she feels bad all the same.

“Most men are uncomfortable with the fact that I know more about cars than them.” Rey doesn’t know why she continues to challenge him, but his reactions always surprise her.

It’s… nice.

“Do I seem like I’m uncomfortable by that?”

She regards him. “No, but you did proposition anyone with computer access, so I think your threshold for uncomfortable must be very high.”

He doesn’t laugh, per se, but the corners of his mouth lift and his cheeks become tight. She smiles at the sight.

“Seems that we’re both very bold. A female mechanic and an online propositioner. We make for quite a pair.”

“Hopefully that means the sex will be good.”

Kylo Ren does smile at that.

His hand is on the small of her back when they get in the elevator and Rey is actively trying to ignore the fluttering in her gut, which is why the words blurt out of her.

“My roommate knows where we are!” It’s a loud noise in an otherwise quiet area, but Kylo doesn’t seem startled by it. He just looks down at her. “I have to be back at the apartment, in person, by noon tomorrow or she’s calling the cops.” Rey is quieter now but her voice still shakes.

“My meeting is at 10, so you’ll have plenty of time to get back to your place. I can have my driver drop you off there, if you like,” He says.

“Thats… not why I’m telling you. But that you. I mean, my roommate will know if something bad happens to me. So it would be wise of you to not kill me.” Rey gulps.

Kylo’s hand comes to her face and brushes a piece of hair behind her ear.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Rey.” His voice is soft. “I’m not going to kill you, or hit you, or do anything you don’t want me to do.” She’s facing him now. “If you feel uncomfortable, I wouldn’t be mad. You can leave whenever you want.”

“But what do you want? You’ve asked me what I’ve wanted in every interaction we’ve had, but all I know is that you want to fuck somebody so that you’re not nervous or whatever tomorrow. Do you even want me? Or was I just the first person who responded to you post? It goes both ways, ya know. You need to tell me what you want, too.”

His hand brushes the side of her jaw, his eyes trail down her face, no doubt seeing the nervous expression she wears.

“I want you, Rey.”

-

His lips are on hers the moment the door is shut. His hand cradles the back of her head as he shoves his body against hers, pinning her to the wall. His other hand grips her hip and will definitely leave a bruise. She loves it.

But his warm, wet mouth on hers with his plush, pink lips makes any coherent thought leave her head. She moans into his mouth, hands trying desperately to pop open the buttons of his shirt. She makes a sound of frustration when the last stubborn button won’t come undone, and his hands are there in an instant, ripping the thing straight off. She slides her hands along his toned chest as his tongue invades her mouth. When her hands venture further south, they find the more than impressive bulge straining against his slacks.

“I should’ve… asked you earlier…” He says into her mouth as he sucks off the remaining shirt and suit jacket, “if you… like… dirty talk.” Rey keens against him, forcing his mouth to go to her neck as she breathes out a chant of ‘yes, yes, yes.’

Kylo makes a noise of approval before hoisting her into his arms. Rey’s legs instinctively wrap around his hips as he walks them towards the bed.

“Good, because it would be a shame not to be able to tell you that I can’t wait to taste your cunt.”  

Rey has died.

She has died and gone to whatever afterlife will have her.

She never wants to leave it.

“You… don’t… you don’t have to…” She manages to say between kisses. Kylo pulls back from her then, eyes dark, hair a mess, lip red and bitten.

“I want to. Will you let me?” Rey nods so fast she’s worried her neck will be sore. His hands ruck up her cotton dress, until he decides that the offending material will need to be off all together. She’s left in her black bralette and underwear and Kylo stares down at her.

“My tit’s aren’t that big. I’m sorry if you were looking forward to-”

“They’re perfect,” He cuts her off by kissing down her chest, mouthing her nipples through the dark fabric. The heat of his mouth combined with the coolness of the room make her nipples stand at attention, pebbling at the fabric.

Kylo depends further, and puts his entire face against her still-clothed pussy, inhaling and licking her through the fabric. Rey is a whiny mess against the sheets, hair in every direction, full body blush. She hopes he thinks she’s hot because, god, she’s never sen anyone like him.

Kylo takes of her panties and immodestly begins lapping at her cunt, no warning or hesitation, making Rey give something of a moan and a yelp. Her hand goes to his hair, feeling the luscious locks between her fingers. His hands go to her ass, lifting her up slightly so he gets a better angle.

“You’re… too good… at this…” She manages between breaths. Rey would bet anything he’s smirking against her.

Kylo uses his nose to rub at her clit before alternating between kitten licks and sucking on it. It takes no time at all for Rey to come. So quickly, in fact, that she would be embarrassed if she could move. Her whole body is on fire as he licks her through it, occasionally using a hand to brush at her nipples. The tears streaming out of her eyes and drool gathering at the corner of her mouth must make her look ghastly, but Kylo doesn’t seem to mind.

When he finally sits back, still between her legs, she can make out the bulge from earlier, now even more prominent.

He’s looking down at her, at the mess he’s made of her, and against every instinct, she lets him.

“I don’t normally come that fast,” she tells him. Her voice is quiet even now, and she knows it’ll be strained tomorrow. Good, something to remember him by.

“It won’t take me that long to come, either,” he admits, having the kindness to look sheepish as he says it.

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Kylo represses a smile.

He gets off the bed, shucking his pants, underwear, and socks off in one felt swoop, leaving him gorgeously bare before her. If she though the bulge was impressive, the real thing is even better. His cock is red and pointed upwards as he stands across from her. His hand goes to pump himself a few times, smearing the precome along his length. Rey can’t help but reach out, whole body going with her as she opens her mouth to bring Kylo towards her. His hand stops her, gently, and she looks up at him in confusion.

“I want to suck you off,” She tells him, brows still furrowed.

“Later,” he tells her.

Kylo pulls her back up the bed with him, so that he hovers over her as he kisses her again. She still taste herself on him, but can’t find the heart to care. Her hands go to wrap around him, feeling the thickness for herself. Huge is an understatement. But Rey’s always been ambitious.

She pumps him a little, feeling him nearly whimper in her mouth.

“You gonna let me fuck you, baby?” he murmurs.

“Yes… yes please…”

Rey feels his hand come over hers as Kylo slots himself between her legs and aligns his cock to her core. He slides in, slowly, stretching her the whole way. She pants against his skin, digs her nails into his shoulder.

“Tell me if it’s too much.” His voice sounds strained, like he’s holding back from her.

“It’s good, daddy… so good…” she pants.

He whines some curses against her skin as he finishes seating himself inside of her.

“… so good, sweetheart. Takin’ me so well… taking your daddy so well,” He mumbles, pressing kisses to any part of her skin. Rey can already feel the beginning of another orgasm itch inside of her, and for the first time in a while, she has no doubt that Kylo will get her there.

“Daddy… you can move… please,” She’s breathless as she asks him. He groans above her and rest his forehead against hers.

His hips being to move, still slow, but making her breath hitch ever shallow thrust.

“Tight… so tight for me…” He mumbles. Rey takes a minute to look at him, really look at him. He’s flushed, skin damp, but he’s still so very handsome. Moles dot his face and she can’t resist using a hand to trace them. His hair tickles her nose, so she pushes it back behind his ears, which are a bit too big for his head but she adores them.

Kylo lets Rey take him in, but gets her attention back to the moment with a quick snap of his hips.

“Can you come again?” He asks, and Rey nods. His mouth depends on her neck, sucking hickeys to every patch of skin it finds, as he pushes into her. She can feel the bump of his cock every time he bottoms out, a sensation she’s never felt before, and it makes her clench him every time. His hand skates down between them to get to her clit, and he quickly begins rubbing her there.

“Gonna let me fill you with my come? Gonna be a good girl and hold it all in? Can you do that for me baby? Huh?” His words send shivers down her spine, aiding in his pursuit to get her to come again. She mumbles incoherent words of approval, trying to tel him “yes, yes! I’ll be your good girl!” but speech fails her at the moment.

But Rey knows Kylo understands what she’s trying to say.

She feels his rhythm falter and his hand speeds against her clit. She tightens her legs around his hips, trying to wordlessly tell him she’s close too.

“Please, baby, please come for me…” His voice is desperate and strained and makes her shudder. Her hips find purchase against the base of his cock, in combination with the movement of his fingers, and she’s thrust into the abyss again.

Kylo holds her against him as she comes, whole body vibrating, and he follows after her. He grunts against a pillow as he comes, and Rey is distantly aware that he’s actually biting the poor thing. His come is hot within her, and she feels him pulse as he keeps slamming his hips to hers. The slapping of skin slows as she feels his body let go of the tension, and Rey is boneless beneath him.

He lays on her, still half-hard inside of her, as they come down from their mutual high. They are both breathing so heavily that speaking is out of the question, at least for a while. Kylo pulls out of her, and a mad rush of fluid starts to leak out of her. She clenches, remembering his words from earlier.

Part of her expects a coldness afterwards; after all, that’s what most sex has been for her. Once he’s come, he leaves. It’s the oldest story in the book. And for all Kylo’s talk of ‘stamina’, there’s still a part of her that expects it’s just a façade.

But he doest leave her, cold and debauched, to get redressed and make a hasty exit. Instead, he plants a kiss to the side of her jaw and rubs her torso sweetly before helping her sit up. She’s weak, and he knows it.

“We need to get you cleaned up,” He says when she slouch against him. She mumbles something unintelligible into his skin. Instead of getting rough with her, Kylo just soothes her. “Women are 38% more likely to get a UTI if they don’t pee after sex. That’s not a parting gift I’d like to give you,” he elaborates.

Rey sighs, but lets Kylo get her to the bathroom.

-

They sleep in spurts.

For a few hours after their first time, before Kylo wakes her with the incessant press of his hard cock into her abdomen. (He takes her even more slowly that time, sleepy and still blissed out. He comes before she does, but he uses his fingers to get her there, still.)

A few hours after that, Rey makes good on her promise to get her mouth on him, waking him with her mouth already working him. (His come tastes bitter and tangy, but she swallows it because it’s his.) She sits on his face afterwards, letting his tongue get her off again.

The next time she wakes, Kylo is kissing her chest, licking at her now oversensitive nipples. There’s a faint light peaking through the windows and Rey knows their time is coming to an end. She runs a hand through his hair to indicate she’s awake now, but he keeps on in his pursuit. Only when her chest spit-covered and shiny does Kylo seem satisfied with his work, and lifts his head to look at Rey.

“Good Morning,” She mumbles, voice strained as expected, and still groggy from sleep. He hums his response, and presses a sweet, lingering kiss to her lips.

Rey glances at the clock, noting its just past 7, when they both sit up in bed. Kylo goes to say something, but is cut off by the grumbling of Rey’s stomach. Her cheeks heat as his voice falls silent.

“Sorry… I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning,” she admits. Kylo’s brow furrows for a moment, but the dark expression passes fleetingly.

“Let’s rectify that first, shall we?”

-

The breakfast menu for room service is extensive, and Kylo orders one of everyone instead of actually looking it over. Rey can only half-heartedly try to tell him it was too much, when her eyes catch a glimpse of the fluffiest looking waffles she’s ever seen. Kylo had only kissed her head and ordered before walking into the shower.

It arrives in record time, a result, she’s sure, of the high-class hotel he got for them. The room, which she’d been too preoccupied to notice last night, is opulent. A bit gaudy for her taste (were gold curtains really necessary), but Rey was in no position to complain. She hesitated to put on actual clothes, instead opting for the plush robe that hung in the wardrobe.

Rey is half into the whole meal when Kylo emerges from the bathroom, towel hung low on his hips and hair still damp. Rey bites her lip so hard she draws blood. He sits across from her, picking up the two plates she hand’t touched.

“Greek Youghert and fruit? Don’t you want a waffle? I saved some whipped cream for you.” She extends the aforementioned whipped cream, earring her a slight smile from Kylo.

“You’re very kind, but no thank you. This is what I eat every morning,” he tells her. Rey scrunches her face. Kylo pours himself some black coffee too, and Rey finds the will to keep her mouth shut.

They eat in companionable silence, Rey scarfing down whatever her hands touch, and Kylo methodically eating his healthy-dude breakfast. Rey notes that neither of them are on their phones; it’s perhaps the first meal she’s had with someone in a while where that’s the case. Like everything else that’s made her heart flutter with him, she tries to ignore it.

Once the table is thoroughly pillaged, Kylo gets up to get dressed and says nothing when Rey hops on the bed and continues to watch him. He’s not embarrassed by nudity, clearly, and tosses the towel away for a solid 5 minutes before putting on underwear.

He’s fully dressed shortly and applies some product to his hair that has writing in french, yet Rey is still wearing only the robe and probably still has his come on her thighs. And other areas.

Part of her thinks he’ll just carry on with his routine as if she’s not there. He’ll pack his suit from the night before and leave the room without an second glance her way. Much to her relief, she’s wrong.

When he’s finally ready, Kylo turns toward her, leans down, and plants a soft kiss directly on her lips. It’s an infinitely more affectionate gesture than she had expected going into this, but a welcome one all the same. He stares fondly down at her when their lips part.

“The room is yours to use until 4 P.M., but I remember you have a noon curfew,” He tells her. Suddenly, Rey regrets telling Rose to call the national guard if she’s not physically in her presence before the clock strikes 12.

“I guess I’ll make do,” She teases.

They fall silent again, and for the second time that morning Kylo goes to say something, but falls short. The silence becomes too much for Rey to bear, so her cursed mouth opens of it on volition.

“I’m not sure how these are supposed to work… one night stands, I mean,” She admits. Something in Kylo’s face falls, but Rey can’t quite tell what.

“I don’t have much experience with these either,” he tells her. Rey shuffles onto her knees, so that they’re both eye-level, and extends her hand. Kylo looks at it with a hint of confusion mixed with amusement.

“Well, you’ve been a wonderful reddit-fuck. Thank you for posting,” she says, giving a mega-watt smile. He sakes her hand.

“And you’ve been a wonderful reddit-fuck-respondent. Thank you for critiquing my going about soliciting sex.” Rey opens her mouth in an exaggerated offense, but Kylo cuts her off with another sweet kiss.  

She melts into it, holding his hair with her hands, letting herself mold to his torso as his tongue swipes her lower lip. The kiss is wonderful and hot and sweet all at the same time and makes her head spin.

When it’s over and she’s caught her breath again, a pang of nervousness infiltrates her consciousness. It’s over, it whispers, you’ll never see him again if you don’t do anything. He’ll leave, just like everyone else, if you let him.

“Do you have any more meetings?” She practically shouts at him. Kylo looks confused for a moment, so she goes on. “I just mean… if you needed someone to help… prepare you for your meetings, there’s a chance I’d be available.” Her voice grows softer as she keeps talking, suddenly feeling like an idiot for suggesting that at all. Before she has a  chance to spiral, Kylo brings her back.

“I do… I mean, I will. That would be… very gracious of you, to offer you help.” She bites her lip to keep from smiling too hard.

“Okay, good.” She nods at him, relief washing over her as she realizes she might not be the only one who doesn’t want to let this go.

It’s a new feeling that probably shouldn’t be attached to a person whom was very clear about their desire for a no-strings hook up, but Rey has always had a preference for things that are challenging.

Kylo Ren seems as good a challenge as any.

-

follow me on twitter!

[bellamygateoldblog]

The 100 7x01: Discussion

My general takeaway from the episode can be summarised like this: Echo is spectacular. (I might’ve said “oh my god look at her!!!!!” and “ugh she is just The Best” too many times to count).

This is long-ish because I really just wanted to consolidate my thoughts in one place. Bitch it’s me i got a lot to say!!!!!

The Good Parts

— The farmhouse setting. While it’s existence is strange and “a sore thumb” and worked to further push Sanctum being the abomination born of clumsily mixing genres and time periods in terms of construction/costuming, making everything appear disconnected and obnoxious, it was still a nice change. It made me feel warmer and more comfortable as a ‘modern’ viewer. It’s a breath of fresh air from the constant dark element: dilapidated post-apoc buildings falling from their foundation, endless woods, and equally cold-feeling labs and skeleton dungeons.

— Echo. This was a damn good episode for Echo and every second reminded me of why she’s my favourite. She’s a badass. I always love to see her falling naturally into leadership of her little ragtag groups who accept it wholeheartedly. From the “testing a theory” moment where she went ‘when Gabriel doesn’t speak >>>’, to right at the end when she killed the solider about to “eliminate” Hope (hesitation is death...oh no he can’t hear us he’s got airpods in oh my god). It was Echo that got them through the whole sequence with the anomaly, Echo who figured shit out, Echo who quickly judged the situations and formed plans to overcome the obstacles. In other words: she did THAT.

Favourite scene: Echo coming face-to-face with the projection of her own insecurities in the form of Roan and Echo 1.0, and physically overcoming them (shooting them down), along with the trauma and pain that they both represent. The perserverence and getting the job done despite the emotional torture felt like a callback to the Psychosis episode of 6x02 when she was clever enough to sedate herself to silence the voices in her head. I also think the dialogue chosen was also foreshadowing that she would become a leader by the finale (commander?) and i love to see it!

— Clarke and Madi’s conversation. Oh Clarke, you just keep reinforcing and validating my perceptions of who you are as a person over and over again lol. In all her self-importance failing to remember that Madi, in fact, had and was raised by her biological parents for half of her life (and the new knowledge that she spent six years telling her little mind tales from the book of her life whilst apparently never taking the time to learn about Madi’s or acknowledge/honour her birth parents in any way) is “yeah that’s about right” to me. Sure you could say she was still reeling from the events of six and her death-almost death-almost death again. But I’ve always had this Thing about the relationship between Clarke and Madi. And i’ve seen some of the lighthearted humourous reception that scene got from fandom, “#where do you think the child CAME from?!” which only served to remind me of my own impression that Clarke views Madi as wholely ‘hers’, as if Madi’s existence was tied to Clarke, but i might elaborate in a seperate post.

This scene was a lovely display of self-awareness I’ve rarely seen on Clarke (never even got it when she electrocuted said child two seasons ago- however that absense of apology and acknowledgement of the sheer wrongness of that action also fits very nicely with my view of her lmao, still though, a weird choice for your ‘heroine’).

— Clarke’s “feels like a different world.” Felt romantically-coded. I think Gaia/Clarke might be the most convinient relationship to transform into romance at this point. However I’m sincerely hoping this road they could go down won’t reduce Gaia to a crutch/accessory for Clarke, and that she doesn’t become merely a love interest. I’ve seen talk already of Gaia being “Clarke’s happiness” etc.. which is already confirming my worst fears. Sigh.

This moment very much felt like found closure and the turning of a page. But i will say it was a very sharp turn from the three seasons of shoehorned-in mentions of Lexa, and last season’s emphasis on Clarke’s very-much intact emotional response to her memory- “it’s why you cry when you think about Lexa”- to her looking at an image of Lexa’s memory of her, reminicing but having no emotional response to it, and brushing it off while sharing a soft look with Gaia (and this is a few days since s6? I don’t know how this timeline is working but Tbh it’s not like these writers ever concerned themselves with ‘realistic time frames’ anyway lol). Yep, Jason’s seasons are individual “movies,” alright.

Other *nodding approvingly* moments

— Raven’s subtle “elevator eyes” on Clarke when she started giving her orders again. I see you, Miss Reyes, and I appreciate you.

— Raven + the foot in her mouth and the cute way she catches herself both times. I just love watching characters fail at existing LOL. She was feeling more human than stereotype or plot device this episode.

— "Mommy and Auntie O” and the implication that Hope is a child inside an aged-up body.

— This quote: “I know what it’s like to lose your family 100 years ago and yesterday at the same time.” It’s so literal but I like it a lot.

— Clarke being ‘leader’ again is, as usual, solely a matter of convinient (and familial/love) circumstances and it felt very true.

The Rest

— The Eligius Situation. So Clarke and her inner circle conquer and live in a nice home, and we’re specifically told Clarke takes the master suite (and the dog), and I was like ‘fair enough’ but then she orders prison labour. She tells them to build her a compound that they won’t actually get to be apart of, and to live in tents while they do so. They aren’t getting anything out of this (before they resist and set their own terms). This is slavery. Also, those aren’t her people to boss around, look down on, and use accordingly for her own gain (in fact they barely know her or why she’s gone from being that one unloyal woman who executed their men and got herself captured like an idiot, then couldn’t make up her mind about which side she wanted to kill- to one in the uppermost position of authority...like...they woke up yesterday) But, then again, that never stopped her.

— Too much and not enough at the same time. The pacing of the episode in general was awful. Too much happening in quick succession, no breathing room, too many factions (no, actually Raven, where is ALIE when you need her? smh). I blink, I miss an entire scene and a character is now beating someone else up. Amazingly, i was still bored 90% of the time.

— The Children of Gabriel calling themselves “The Children of Gabriel.” It was always goofy, even more so when a grown man is saying it.

— Murphy + his self loathing over Abby’s death. Did I miss the part where she was ever good to him? One of their final moments together was of her telling him he deserved to die over Clarke after she spent the entire series treating him like he was inferior and disposable. uhhhhhhhhhh.

— The picnic scene. Jackson’s sudden violent outburst was unearned (it wasn’t even set up???), and also disrespectful. Wrong place, wrong time, bro. He’s grieving? Okay. But when Abby’s daughter is sitting right in front of you, making this about you, ruining a perfectly good toast in her honour with your uncomfortable accusations loses you points you never even had to begin with. And this is a ‘me’ thing but I can’t be bothered to be sympathetic when this is about Abby Griffin.

Also, I have to say it. Eliza’s acting took me out of the scene every time I looked at Clarke. I couldn’t for the life of me work out what those expressions were supposed to be.

— Russell, his manpain, and a fury over the consiquences of his own actions  that could rival the grounders (”my brother died in your ring of fire [while he was trying to murder you all]” hmm sounds like a you problem). But the worst part is, I simply couldn’t tell where he stood or what he was feeling. He’s so one-dimensional. He’s an evil man (so much for ”grey morality”).

— Clarke + Jordan. A small point to make but all Clarke has done since Marper made her ‘Godmother’ of their son has blame him for everything bad happening lol. Marper loses a lot of my respect as time goes on for that choice. As much as I dislike Jordan’s presence in the show, still not a great pattern to have noticed.

— Raven seeking approval from Clarke (specifically) for the Prime idea was...weird and very bad. When has Raven ever cared for Clarke’s validation, especially in the last few seasons?

Was also taken aback by how Indra and Miller are both suddenly so protective of Clarke, like i can make sense of the Indra part even though it relies on me making things up that aren’t supported by what’s on screen, but Miller?

— (Bonus moment that was bad for me, but not for the same reason it was for the rest of you: the scene of Hope finding the message in her arm. When she was removing the blood-soaked bandage I freaked out because I thought she was peeling her skin off. You’re welcome for that visual.)

The Mixed/No Feelings

— Clarke’s full-dark-no-stars. How many times have they told me now she’s “the head”? LMAO. 

I have no actual formed opinion on it. Only disjointed thoughts. Like i might’ve just gone “good for her” if Clarke wasn’t the person she is, with the history she has.

I appreciate the idea, to have her spend the whole episode declaring she is, in fact, completely fine, to end it having her explode with the repressed pain.

I mean...i realise the cognition behind it, but it’s eye-roll inducing at this point. This- kicking Russell to death (giving him exactly what he wanted and set out to provoke), and burning down a palace she promised to keep intact, once again going against the group to do her own Thing that they all ultimately have the suffer the consiquences of and help clean up- is just a repeat of past patterns, and Monty’s “do better” mantra that she desperately clung to like she owned it last season is nowhere in sight.

(Also, I can’t be the only one who spotted her physically smacking that Sanctum girl as she walked onto the balcony? Not cool. Wasn’t cool when Murphy acted like a dick to one of them either this episode.)

The rushed switch did a number on me, too, like Jackson’s did. Literally five minutes before she was preaching about a peaceful life for Madi that doesn’t take revenge (I think I know what they were going for with that but it just left me feeling confused and frustrated).

Furthermore, I’ve seen talk that this was her “burning down of a symbol of oppression”, something she experienced first hand (not so unlike Blodreina and the bunker she desperately wanted to escape and deliver her people from), but there was no noble, calculated intention there. She burned the palace accidentally in her rage because she was in pain and disorientated. The moral stuff was just an after effect.

The speech was also very ‘Clarke’. Feeling entitled to and making decisions on who lives and dies right after declaring this wasn’t their kill to make. She wasn’t the only person hurt by the Primes (but we’ve also been given no reason to care about any of the other victims- the manipulated, enslaved population have been turned into a joke and a punching bag for the main characters which...isn’t great either). And the castle could’ve been used to shelter some of the “too many people” we had problems with through the episode (or used to harvest resources from). It really comes down to if i think the situation justifies the reaction and if i hold her wholely responsible...and this is the part where i reiterate that i have no intact opinion and don’t actually care to have one either ha.