#anyway eventually dirk bumps into dave and. hes like. Holy Fucking Shit. What The Fuck.
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I FIGURED IT OUT
what i say: im going to lay down and go to sleep now
what i mean: im going to sit with my eyes closed while trying to work out the logistics of the strilonde family tree in my no sburb human au
#OKAY#OKAY GUYS#so i figured out that i wanted mom lalonde and bro to have been married but divorced and they had dave and rose together#(which btw i decided dave and rose are twins but also they were born at 11:58pm and 12:02am so their bdays are on different days#cuz i think thats cute. anyway.) but i could figure out how to fit in dirk or any of the alpha kids really. but i have now!!!!#okay so dirk. honey sweetie. asshole but my beloved asshole. genvy mc dickwad. anyway.#so renound actor director and creator of sbahj the movie series dave strider grew up in this town i havent decided the name if yet#he and bro grew up really close. they were best buds. they did a whole bunch of weirdass shit together. they changed their last names to be#Cool and the Same as soon as they were both eighteen to symbolize their Brother-from-another-mother-hood.#they decided if they ever had kids theyd name them after eachother. like ironically but also sweet. bro had a kid and named him dave.#and alpha dave adopted a kid cuz he was single(and uhhhhh other reasons) but wanted to leave a legacy.#he and alpha rose died in some way together. cant decide if it was a car crash or like. something more adjacent to in the comic.#maybe an assasination because they were saying shit people didnt like. they were after all pretty prominent political figures.#anyway that leaves baby dirk orphaned and sent off to live with a cousin of daves because bro cannot take in a kid#hes fuckin. hes a wreck. his best frjend died. he hadnt talked to him in months what with dave out there makin it big and bro livin a Life#anyway he promptly Doesnt Deal With It and becomes a permanent asshole. mom lalondes sister has just died. under the stress and turmoil#they divorce. theyd been having problems for a long time but this was what broke them. lalonde took rose and bro took dave.#anyway years and years later dirk is preparing for college. hes going to school in another state. in the town his dead brother grew up in.#his brother died before he knew him. he grew up with parents who mostly left him to fend for himself.#always idolizing his brother. seeing him everywhere in the media. his influence and his movies. he watched them religiously growing up.#so he moves to this town to feel closer to his brother. he doesnt really have any real life friends. he has a couple friends online though.#his friend rolal. jake and jane too. sometimes uU. anyway hes exploring this new town and the college campus#he meets a person called roxy who talks to him about the town and such and after she like. formally introduces herself as 'roxy. lalonde.'#dirks like. *loading screen*#r. rolal? because he also recognises her voice. and shes like. oh shit. wait do i know you online? and hes like. yeah its uh. distri.#and shes like HOLY SHIT DUDE OH MY GOD HOLD ON CAN I GIVE YOU A HUG#and hes like Hell yeah man bring it in. and then shes like 'dude ohmygod i knew u were moving for college but what are the chances??'#and he tells her abt how hes moved here to feel closer to his brother and they just sit there and talk for a bit cuz theyre Pals#then dirks like We have to grab lunch sometime Roxy. and they part ways.#anyway eventually dirk bumps into dave and. hes like. Holy Fucking Shit. What The Fuck.
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