#anyway don't be fooled aside from the grand philosophy stuff she's also just kind of a misanthropic jerk

[paradife-loft]

also while I'm dork soul posting

been really leaning in lately to the concept of anvha chosenundead's story as a disillusionment arc much like the other npcs'? anvha isn't an oc I've talked about much/at all, but teal deer she's a bit.... undersocialized feral outcast who powers through approximately everything out of raw spite and takes great satisfaction in shoving an occult blade up into various deities' ribcages.

and I think there's still, under that, a bit of a longing for something, some legacy of the past, something passed down from the ~glory days of old when magic was free and powerful, before the world was dying, - that she might be able to find and take as an alternative tradition she could belong to. but there really just... isn't. nothing in the past that she can lionize while also squaring it away with her humanness, which she refuses to see as scary and bad and dangerous the way everyone else seems to want to.

everything that once was has nonetheless decayed into a ruin. everyone who did great things, interesting things, things she might want to become an heir to... ultimately still feared a world without the first flame. still tried to cling to a world that wouldn't, inevitably, change into something new. and the ones who didn't, still failed in a spectacularly destructive fashion.

so a serpent wants her to be on fire. a serpent wants her to be the dark lord. anvha just wants to be interested in the world, and allowed to study it and learn and be creative and observe while things evolve, and not be viewed as some kind of existential anathema to be contained away from the right people who really matter.

and there's just not a lot out there she can point to that shares those aspirations and values, is there.