#anyway can't wait until our peach tree blossoms again this year i'm gonna pick some flowers and press them yah yeet
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#you know how most people just have their quiet tag vent posts be like a period or all under a read more or smth?#naw fam i'm gonna have my quiet tag-vent post be underneath a two year old photograph of peach blossoms that's nicer than i remembered#(but anyway yeah this is okay to reblog i just wanted to be a bit quieter with my musings today)#today honestly felt like such a big fic writing day and i haven't felt like that in m o n t h s#it feels gREAT but it's also normal for me to get my muse back in the springtime tbh#i always tend to take winter hiatuses. i mean the flower is not a flower most of the time but i'm a pretty hardy perennial with my writing#however contrary to all this i haven't actually written anything in about two months now except for my diary#and i'm still left to wonder if i can truly blame my almost fake bf for this creative winter bc i know he didn't intend for this to happen#he doesn't even know it happened or anything. i've moved on from the notebook throwing incident#so that's not keeping me. really today's muse has reminded me that yeah. i'm still a writer at heart ahahaha#maybe i just want to clean up my (his.) ((OUR.)) mess and give everyone who got even remotely caught up in this a happy ending#and that includes cleaning up the band politics. bc i thought at the start of the fake dating shebang this would be okay#i thought i could maybe use this in Bb -- no. no i probably can't. it's messy and you know. high school political#the only thing keeping us from rioting is the fact that our ringleader is hesitant about direct action bc every time she tries that#she ends up blowing her top and now she; once president of band; has been placed on probation. she could be kicked out of band#and honestly yeah that kind of hurts my heart a bit bc she loves band so much. senior year of band wasn't supposed to be like this#i always tell her i'm willing to take the hits for her because i'm not afraid of lighting fires and she doesn't have to always stand alone#but she always insists she'll be okay no i don't have to do anything thank you#i wish she knew she didn't have to work so hard ;--;#anyway can't wait until our peach tree blossoms again this year i'm gonna pick some flowers and press them yah yeet
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