#anyway I hope this doesn' t offend anyone

[thisliminalspacedaydreams]

A Reflection on Quality vs. Quantity in Writing (as per some witnessed Tiktok and other posts)

I’m back again with a long post about quality vs word count quantity.

I think I’ve touched on this before and only recently realized what that may have come across as.

I think I’d like to clarify—just to make sure I was understood and not misinterpreted the first time around.

I’ve had the chance through Tiktok and Tumblr to meet a lot of fanfiction writers or aspiring writers. A version of what I’ve heard of, too many times, is some version of I will never be able to write a story, because I can’t write long ones. This fear of not being able to meet a certain word count often prevents the story from being written at all.

I don’t think word count should be a barrier to starting a story.

I don’t think anyone who’s ever started a long fic has ever thought to themselves, I’m going to write however many thousand words. No one who embarks on a story typically sets out with a specific word count in mind.

It happens, because it’s how the story’s meant to happen, and because that’s what the brain wants, what the characters need for their development.

A compelling story doesn't need to be long. Nor does it have to be short. It simply needs to resonate with its audience, and this can happen regardless of length, because we’re all looking for different things in fandom.

What I am trying to say really is for the writers who aren’t able to, or feel like they will never be able to either finish their stories or write anything bigger than a oneshot, or a small novel-length story: You don’t have to.

What I am trying to say is, people who write long fanfictions are able to take the same characters and explore dozens of emotions, adventures, issues, relationships within one story. Conversely, others can produce multiple shorter works, each focusing on a specific theme.

In the end, we are all doing the same thing, just going about it differently.

The way we think, the way we each explore our own inner turmoil also presents itself differently based on our past, our ability to focus, and what we want from the story we’re writing.

Amélie Nothomb has written 32+ short stories/small novels. Each one is dedicated to a specific genre, a specific topic. That’s where she thrives. And people read her stories. George R. R. Martin, renowned for a single series that interweaves countless topics across the characters' journeys. And people read his stories.

I could go into details about each author but just step into a library or a bookstore and you’ll have every single possible word count for a novel/anthology/series/whatever. They all found their little space on the bookshelves, and they all deserve to be there, and there is not one work that deserves it more than another.

AO3 is a bookshelf.

We are all human, we can’t all work the same way, and long works shouldn’t intimidate you out of writing at all.

This is what I want to say.

If you have something to say, you should write it. Doesn’t matter if it fits in 1K or less. Doesn’t matter if it fits in 900K or more. It’s going to resonate with someone.

No one sets off to resonate with thousands. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't, but you can’t work through your turmoil hoping to resonate with people; you must do it because you want to solve it within yourself first. The resonance is a by-product. It cannot be the end goal, only the happy happenstance.

I hope this helps.

If you want to write, write.

If you start something and stop because half-way through, you’ve decided that actually, you’ve worked through it, then isn’t it enough?

You don't owe anyone your writing, just as no one owes you their readership, praise, or positive feedback. These are all wonderful by-products of your work resonating with others, if you're ever so lucky, but it cannot be what you write for.

AO3 is a bookshelf like Mary Poppins’ bag. Ever-extending. There is space for every length, every type, every genre, every fandom, everythingeverythingeverything.

The only thing it doesn’t have space for, is hate.

[rhubarbbaby]

Strawberries and Art 5

Jihoon x Y/N

Genre: College AU, Fluff Word Count: 5k Summary: Like every passionate art student, you spent most of your time immersed in your drawings and paintings. The day you meet Jihoon, your everyday life suddenly gets a lot more exciting…

All chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

Chapter 5

When Jihoon was younger he didn´t think teachers existed outside of school. It wasn´t a conscious thought, he just never took into consideration that teachers didn´t cease to exist whenever the bell rang. It had seemed as if his teachers simply started to be around whenever he entered a classroom. And as he sat there in his music class, having given up paying attention a while ago, he realized that he thought about you in the exact same way. You had so suddenly entered his life, he was having a hard time accepting that you actually were a real living human being.

Jihoon had never been much of a romantic. He had always thought of romance as a construct made up by the entertainment industry. He didn´t think badly of it, he just doubted that the kind of romance they portray in movies and books even existed. He didn´t long for it either. He had always been a realist. Love would come, or it wouldn´t. And suddenly there were you. You were just there, like you had just started existing. And he didn´t know if it was love. He didn´t even think about the word “love”. He hadn´t even wrapped his head around the fact that he maybe, only maybe might have a teeny tiny little crush on you. He just knew that he liked you. Really liked you. Talking to you was so easy and made him feel so light, in the most perfect way possible.

At lunch Jihoon sat with Hansol, who had grown a bit annoyed with him being zoned out. “Dude. What´s going on? I´m bored. Talk to me.” “I´m sorry.” Jihoon grumbled not even looking up from his plate to look at his friend. “Didn´t the date go well yesterday?” Only now Jihoon´s eyes met Hansol´s. “No. It went perfect.” “So?” “What so?” “Why aren´t you super happy?” Jihoon let out a small sigh. “I am. I´m just confused.” “What? How can you be confused about a perfect date?” “I´ve only known her for a few days and I think I already like her. It doesn´t make sense.” Hansol let out a hearty laugh. “Hey, it does make sense. It makes a lot of sense actually…you know when I met Jo I knew she would annoy the shit out of me. And holy shit she does, I swear if she talks one more time about that superhero guy with that metal arm…Beefy Barnett or whatever he´s called…I´ll have to kill her.” Anyone would´ve been able to read the loving smile that had formed on Hansol´s face, as much as he pretended to be annoyed by Jo he just couldn´t hide his fondness. “Anyways the point I was trying to make is that I knew she would be a pain in the ass but I also knew I liked her. I´m not saying it´s always like that or it has to be like that but I´m saying that yes it does make sense.” “Bucky Barnes.” Jihoon grinned. “What?” “That superhero guy. His name is Bucky Barnes.” “Oh my god. Not you too.”

It had been nice seeing Jihoon in the morning, even if it had only been for about 2.5 seconds. And even if you probably wouldn’t have liked to admit it, those 2.5 seconds were the only reason you had survived your morning classes. And that really says something because you even skipped art history which you admittedly did feel sort of bad about. The professor was always so disappointed seeing only so few students sitting in her class. That´s why you normally tried not to miss her classes but you just haven´t been able to get yourself to move out of bed this early today.  

You were on your way to the cafeteria when you realized it was Tuesday, which meant Jo didn´t have classes today. You groaned, knowing you would probably have to eat your lunch alone. You didn´t like eating alone in public. The exposedness of the situation, the feeling of being watched, yeah you could definitely pass on that one.

Jihoon´s eyes lit up when he saw you. You were standing next to the door that led to the cafeteria, the very same door he was about to walk through. As you looked down at your feet while letting some other students pass in front of him, he realized you hadn´t noticed him yet. “Hi.” He smiled. You looked up and for a tiny moment Jihoon thought he had seen your eyes sparkle when you recognized it was him. “Hi.” “You come here often?” Jihoon asked, his voice comically serious. “Oh my god,” you sighed. “That was really bad.” you weren´t able to hide the grin that had spread on your face.   “I´m sorry I´m sorry,” he held up his hands defensively, also smiling, “anyways…are you my homework?” “What?” the look of confusion on your face was priceless. “You definitely look like my homework…cause I´m not doing you when I should.” He winked. Your eyes widened at the realization of what he had just said - god you really were so innocent- and then you laughed. “That was even worse, Jihoon!” “You´re mean.” He pouted. “Also you don´t even need those bad pickup lines.” You giggled. “Oh?” he raised his eyebrows, a smug grin plastered on his face. “I don´t?” Immediately your mind wandered off to yesterday when he had buried his face in your pussy, giving you all those sickeningly sweet jolts of pleasure. “No. I don´t think you need those.” “And why is that, sweetie?” Your face had turned bright pink and you didn´t know what to answer. Why the fuck did he always have to tease you?? Your entire body had been filled with intrusive warmth and for a few seconds you were physically unable to say anything. You just felt so small under his gaze, his presence was overwhelming. “I mean…I already gave you a drawing of a hedgehog…that basically bonds us for life.” You stuttered. “Does it now?” Jihoon let out a hearty laugh “You really are so innocent aren´t you?” “I´m not innocent at all!” you tried to seem offended.   “You sure?” “Yes!” Raising his eyebrows again he responded: “Guess I´ll just have to find out huh?” When he saw you were getting flustered again he had mercy and changed the topic “No but seriously, thanks for the drawing. I know it’s simple but it‘s the most adorable thing. I love it.” “I‘m glad you like it.” You smiled softly. “Of course. Also you drawing that for me is one of the cutest things…”He didn‘t get to finish the sentence he had started because you had grabbed his jacket and had pulled him so that he was now standing in front of you, your back facing the wall. “Oh my god. I´m sorry but you have to hide me real quick.” Jihoon didn´t know what was going on but he could see the freaked out look on your face, so he leaned in closer as to shield you.  “I‘m so so sorry.” You let out a breathy giggle, still holding him by his jacket. “But behind you my art history professor just passed and I skipped her class today and I really didn´t want her to see me and I panicked and…” you let go of his jacket. “I´m sorry.”

Jihoon didn´t say anything for a moment, he was still processing what had just happened. But then a huge grin spread on his face. “You know, if you really wanted to be closer to me this bad you could´ve just asked.” “I swear it really was because of my professor.” You said trying to get yourself out of this awkward situation. Your heart was beating so so so fast. “So you don´t even wanna be close to me?” he asked and only now you realized how small the distance still was between your bodies. He was standing so close you could´ve counted all of his eyelashes. “I..that´s not what I meant.” You averted your gaze to the floor, not being able to keep looking into his eyes. “Look at me.” Surprised by his words you pulled up your view again. “You’re cute.“ Your cheeks flushed red and your mouth slightly agape you looked at him. He was smirking at you, knowing oh so well what effect he had on you. “And you’re mean.” You finally replied. He raised his eyebrows, grin still plastered on his face. “Mean? That’s not exactly what I would call a person who made me cum just yesterday.” “I…” Jihoon couldn’t help but laugh at your shocked face. “You sure you aren’t innocent, sweetie?” “I…” you buried your face in your hands “You really can’t stop teasing me, can you?” you finally muttered under your breath, voice way too quiet to sound confident. 

And then Jihoon took your face in his hand, his thumb caressing your cheek lightly. “Can you blame me? You really look so pretty when you blush.” He was smiling but his voice sounded so serious. “Haven’t we had this talk already?”, you giggled. “We most definitely have.” “Jihoon, you’re horrible.” “Y\N, you’re wonderful.” “You’re cheesy.” “You’re pretty.” “You need to stop.” You grinned. “And you need to accompany me to that party the music institute is having tomorrow.” “What’s in it for me?” You crossed your arms over your chest and acted as if you were actually thinking about saying no. “I’ll buy you a drink and you’ll get to spend some quality time with me, your local handsome music student who apparently is really good at eating pussy or so I’ve heard…” You slowly shook your head at his boldness, the smile never having left your face. “I’d absolutely love that.” You said. “I know.” He winked. “I’ll text you the details later. I’m already late to class.” “Oh my god, sorry I didn’t know you had class.” He smiled and then he leaned in and gave you a soft kiss on the cheek. “Being late for class because of a pretty girl? Totally worth it.” He smiled. “See you tomorrow!”

You hadn‘t managed to fully comprehend that you would be going to a party with Jihoon the next day, not until you got home in the afternoon and sank down onto your sofa. A smile spread itself across your face when you thought of how he had sounded so genuinely hopeful that you would say yes. You were so incredibly attracted to him, in definitely more ways than one, you hadn‘t even thought of saying no. You would‘t call yourself especially insecure or self conscious but you couldn‘t deny having some trouble realizing that this unearthly being of a man was actually attracted to you. It didn‘t make sense, he was this beautiful, funny, (too) cocky, sexy person and you were normal. But he hadn‘t been sure. He had been hopeful. So there were only two options; either he was just as captivated by you as you were by him, or he just didn‘t have a clue of how attractive he actually was (very unlikely because: cockytm).

Jihoon: hI Jihoon: *ho Jihoon: shit! lol Jihoon: Good afternoon. Jihoon: I actually wanted to message you earlier but I only got around to it now. Sorry :( So about that party tomorrow… You: Hii. Very smooth start to a conversation I must say.

He must have seen that you had already messaged back because for a second the typing... on the top of your chat turned into online.

Jihoon: I tried 😫 You: I can see. Lol Jihoon: You‘re making fun of me :( You: Maybe. Jihoon: you‘re gonna regret that. Jihoon: :) Jihoon: so anyways…about that party tomorrow… Jihoon: I can come pick you up at 7 if that‘s ok for you? You: sounds good! You: Do I have to wear something fancy? What party is this?? Jihoon: No you don‘t have to. It‘s just some annual party the music majors organize every year in honor of some famous composer. Jihoon: Don‘t ask me who the composer is. I forgot. You:  omg 😂 Jihoon: 🙄 Jihoon: So 7 is good? You: Yup.

It took you a bit of courage to send the next message.

You: Can‘t wait to see you again Jihoon: Goes both ways sweetie ;)

And then you were clinging to your phone like it was some incredibly valuable treasure (or a certain other person). You really could not wait.

Jo: Y/N!?!!?!??!??!?? Jo: You‘re coming to the party tomorrow??? Jo: Hansol told me Jihoon is taking you 🌚 You: 😳 You: He told Hansol about it… You: omg You: but yes I‘m coming…I guess you‘ll be there too. Jo: YES BITCG Jo: and of course he told Hansol about it. He‘s in love with you 😌 You: JO Jo: How was your lunch date yesterday? You: … Jo: Oh no was it bad? You: NO omg it was great Jo: oh Jo: OH 🌚 You: stop sending that emoji 😭 You: but yeah uhm we kissed and Jo: AND You: and then he kinda maybe gave me head on my kitchen table. Jo: you’re kidding You: I swear! Jo: He’s in love with you!!!!!!!! Jo: Also was it good? You: sooo good You: stop saying that I don’t even know what I’m feeling myself :( Jo: You don’t have to know yet tho. Just enjoy it. Jo: And I can’t wait to see you two together tomorrow. I bet y’all are adorable You: omg pls don’t make it weird LOL Jo: Let me rephrase that Jo: I am very looking forward to creepily stare at the two of you from across the room 🌚 You: omg

The next day you handed in your portrait assignment. You had put it in a green folder with your name neatly written on top. You were really happy with your end product and you most definitely didn’t regret having chosen Jihoon as your model. As your professor took the folder out of your hand she smiled: “You know whenever I see that folder of yours I always know it’s gonna be something good.“ “I…thank you so much. That means a lot.“ You stammered. With a friendly nod she averted her attention back to another student. And it was so weird, so utterly confusing that the first thing you thought of on your way home was how you couldn‘t wait to tell Jihoon about your encounter. How you couldn‘t wait to tell him how happy that had made you.

After having spent most of your afternoon on school work, you had forced yourself to quickly decide on an outfit you wanted to wear for tonight. You hated the idea of spending so much time just thinking about your clothes. You had chosen a skirt and a top you really liked, nothing special but you felt comfortable in it. You looked pretty but not as if you had spent much thought on how to do that (which you considered a big accomplishment). It was a few minutes before seven when you heard your phone buzz.

Jihoon: Heyy I’m outside :) You: I’ll be down in a sec!

He was standing on the sidewalk and he looked so casual so at ease, as if picking you up was something he did everyday. And fuck he looked hot. When he saw you walk out the door a puppy like smile spread across his face that broke the illusion of casualness. You couldn‘t help but reciprocate his exciting grin. Without hesitation you fell into each others arms. “Hi.“ he murmured against your hair while holding you. “Hi.“ “You know I’m really happy to see you again.“ “Goes both ways.“ You grinned which made him snicker. You slightly pulled yourself out of his embrace, you didn‘t want to wait any longer. You had been waiting the entire day to tell him. “You know I handed in my portrait assignment today.“ “And?“ he looked so excited. His eyes had actually lit up. “She hasn’t graded it yet but she said that she’s always happy seeing my folder because apparently it’s always good and I still can’t believe she actually said that.“ And then he laughed and there was no other thing to do for you other than to blush. You just stared at him in disbelief because what the hell was so funny. “I…I just…sorry but like of course she said that.“ he was still laughing “Y/N, I really don’t know much about art but even I, a fool, can see that you’re so fucking talented.“ You smiled “You really are a fool, Jihoon.“ “I compliment you and that’s your comment? I can’t believe it.“ He dramatically put his hand over his chest. “I had literally no other choice.“ You giggled. “But thank you so much.“  

As you were walking he told you of his day and how he had been writing a lot of songs lately. You were a rather introverted person, talking to someone, even being around other people could be very exhausting for you. You liked being alone, not necessarily because there were no other people around but because you didn’t need to explain yourself. It wasn’t that you thought you were so different or oh so special but you just had always felt a certain disconnect between the thoughts and feelings you wanted to express and what actually ended up coming out of your mouth…which could be exhausting. But then there were people who seemingly were able to pick up what you were trying to convey. Not just the general message of your words but all those tiny little nuances that you had always been hiding unintentionally in your language. Jihoon seemed to be one of those people.  Your conversation was not just question-answer-and saying things that were supposed to be said. It felt like you were having a monologue together. Your thoughts somehow intertwined, flowed into each other at the exact right time in the exact right places and that was just so fucking cool.

“Hey would it be ok if I held your hand?“ You giggled and turned your head to look at him. “Jihoon, you don‘t even have to ask.“ He took your slightly smaller hand into his and immediately interlaced your fingers. “I just wanted to ask because people are gonna see and they‘ll probably assume we‘re a couple and I don‘t want that to make you uncomfortable.“ You gave his hand a tight squeeze and smiled. “It won‘t.“

Jihoon had told you that they had rented the small concert hall for the party. When you got closer to the music building there were already a lot of (presumingly) students around. The doors to the hall were open and a lot of people were hanging out on the lawn in front of it. You had to stop yourself from laughing out loud when you watched a boy, who definitely wasn‘t 18 yet, throw up into a bush. It was only half past 7. “Poor kid.“ Jihoon stated without being able to hide the amusement in his voice. “You ever threw up before 8?“ you snickered. Your question was meant to be rhetorical. “I would like to exercise my right to remain silent.“ “Oh. My. God. You actually did.“ to accentuate your reaction you stopped walking and put your hands over your face. Mostly because you had a hard time hiding your laugh. You were standing at the edge of the lawn, still at a safe distance from the other party guests. “I didn‘t say anything!“ “I‘m shocked.“ “I know it‘s hard to imagine but there used to be a time where I was so nervous about talking to girls that I had to drink a lot and I mean A LOT of alcohol before doing so.“ he stated, a grin plastered on his face. “Awww Jihoon was actually scared of talking to girls.“ He let out a low chuckle and then he grabbed your hips roughly and pulled you into him. “I‘m not scared of talking to you right now though, am I?“ And holy fuck if that didn‘t make you nervous nothing else would but for some inexplicable reason you still managed to stutter out a response. “Maybe you‘re just good at hiding it.“ He looked at you, amusement still written on his face and it was so hard not to look away because his stare was so intense so intimate, you didn‘t know what to do with yourself. “God, you‘re killing me.“ You just smiled, too much in trance to say anything. His eyes wandered down to your mouth and only now were you realizing how you had been subconsciously biting your bottom lip. And fuck you were already waiting for the kiss, you swore you could already feel his lips on yours but… it didn‘t happen. Instead he pulled away slightly, leaving his hands on your hips. “You know, maybe you‘re right.“ he said and for a moment he seemed so incredibly vulnerable. “Huh?“ “Maybe, you do make me really nervous too.“ And then there was nothing left to do. Everything had stopped moving and there was nothing left to do. Nothing, except that one thing. And you really had no other choice because there was nothing. Only him and you. And then you took his face into your hands and kissed him. He returned it immediately, it was a soft, loving kiss, maybe even a bit innocent. “I‘m glad I can make you feel that way too.“ You released yourself from his grip and took a few steps backwards away from him. “Come on, let‘s join the others.“

There are several ways and techniques on how to draw attention to yourself. The classiest way, which would also have the benefit of not disturbing other people, would probably be to simply just wave in the direction of the person you wanted to get attention from. Jo however was not a classy person. “Hey! Y/N!“ Jo was literally jumping up and down while waving her arms. Hansol, who stood next to her, started to laugh and shake his head in disbelief. But one had to hand it to her, her method worked. You had immediately spotted her through the crowd. Jihoon turned his head to look at you, his voice oozing with sarcasm “I’m not sure but I think your friend might be looking for you.“ “I think you might me right.“ you giggled.

“I‘m so happy you are here!“ Jo stated before hugging you and Jihoon. “I agree. This one‘s kinda hard to deal with alone.“ Hansol said, pointing to Jo. Jo let out an overdramatic sigh and crossed her arms over her chest. “You‘re the worst.“ “I know.“ Hansol had pulled her into him and had given her a kiss on the top of her head, she scrunched up her nose in fake protest which in return had made Jihoon and you laugh. “I swear I have no clue how you deal with her on a daily basis. She is such a goblin.“ you said after having watched the scenario. “Finally someone who understands me!“ Hansol raised his arm to give you a high five, which you gladly reciprocated. “I really need some alcohol after this betrayal..“ Jo announced with a grin on her face.

You had expected to see more dancing, more drinking and more people getting fucked up but right now you were looking at a room full of students who were seemingly just chilling. Most of the chairs had been pushed to the side and a lot of people simply just sat on the floor, chatting with each other. Some students were dancing while some were standing next to the bluetooth speaker. They were probably arguing over the choice of music.  The four of you were standing next to the bar which really wasn‘t a bar. To be precise the so called bar consisted of one folding table and a lot of bottles of alcohol that were stacked on the floor. Jihoon was standing next to you, your sides had been touching the entire time. It felt good to be close to him in such a casual way even though it did make you nervous. “That’s too much orange juice!“ Jihoon tried to keep Hansol from pouring more of the juice into his cup. “Dude it‘s gonna taste like shit.“ “It‘s literally just gonna taste like alcohol.“ “Yeah! Which tastes like shit!“ “Oh my god you have the taste buds of a baby.“ “Yeah he does.“ Jo chimed in which earned her an offended look from Hansol. “Ok but Hansol is kinda right. Like alcohol really tastes awful.“ you decided to defend Hansol. “You‘re cute.“ You hadn‘t even realized yet that Jihoon‘s compliment had been meant for you when Hansol started to protest. “So when Y/N says alcohol is disgusting it‘s cute but when I do it I have the taste buds of a baby??“ “Nah you both have the taste buds of a baby but Y/N is just cuter than you.“ Jihoon grinned and grabbed you side to pull you into him. You thought you were losing your mind. The concept of Jihoon complimenting you was already a hard enough concept to grasp but now he was doing it in front of your friends? You were sure he would be the death of you sooner or later. “I‘m outraged.“ Hansol let out a laugh. He looked like he couldn‘t believe Jihoon‘s boldness either. “Aww poor baby. You‘re cute too.“ Jo had pulled Hansol‘s face down to her height to give him a kiss on the nose. “Thank you.“ he pouted.

“Hey Jihoon! Hansol!“ “Hi! I didn‘t know you were coming too, Seokmin!“ Jo greeted the taller one of the two guys who had just approached you. You didn‘t know them but you were sure you had seen them somewhere on campus before. “Me neither to be honest. But Seungkwan right here didn‘t want to go alone.“ You looked at Seokmin. He was a tall guy who, for a second had seemed somewhat serious and intimidating, but when his entire face broke into a beaming smile that illusion was quickly eliminated. He had actually turned into an overgrown puppy. After everyone had greeted each other Seokmin introduced his friend: “Seungkwan, that‘s Jo and this is…I‘m sorry I think we haven‘t met before. You‘re not a music student right?“ he was looking at you now. “No I‘m an art student. I‘m Y/N.“ “Very nice to meet you.“ the guy who was apparently named Seungkwan chimed in. At a first glance Seungkwan had appeared to be very average looking, only now as you were actually looking at him were you realizing how pretty he actually was. He looked like an actual disney prince. “Seungkwan, how have you been? Haven‘t seen you in so long.“ Jihoon had turned his head to Seungkwan. “Yeah I’ve been real busy with school but besides that I’m doing pretty well.“ The two of them fell into a casual conversation about their school work and you thought Seungkwan was mentioning something about a new project but you couldn‘t be entirely sure because your thoughts had drifted off after about 10 seconds into the conversation, which was of course no one‘s but Jihoon‘s fault. His hand was still resting on your waist as if it were the easiest, most casual, thing to do. Bystanders probably didn‘t even notice but you clearly felt his hand rest on your hip a tad bit too firmly for it to be normal. You were so so so close to him.  Your shirt had risen up just a tiny bit so his fingers were resting on your bare skin. You were already so hyperaware of his touch on your body you really thought you were losing your mind when he started to rub small circles into your side. You wanted nothing more than to be closer to him but you were already so so close and you were in public and he was literally having a conversation with someone right in front of your eyes. “Are you down for it too, Y/N?“ Seungkwan had mentioned your name. Oh no. You had no clue what he was talking about. “I‘m sorry, what did you say?“ you tried to save yourself. “We were talking about playing Seokmin‘s drinking game…“ “Yeah of course she‘s down for it.We’ll just get something to drink and then we’ll join you.“ Jihoon interrupted him. “Awesome!“ Seungkwan didn’t seem to question your lack of response. As Seungkwan was walking off to join Seokmin, Hansol and Jo for the ominous game you were about to play, Jihoon pulled you to the side. “Was I that much of a distraction to you sweetie?“ he was actually smirking. “I…“ you didn’t know what to say because fuck yes he had been that much of a distraction but you couldn’t just admit that even if you were aware that he already knew. “I didn‘t even do much.“ You were nervous again. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest and your entire body felt so hot. “You‘re just mean.“ you pouted. He let out a hearty laugh at your childish answer. “And you‘re just so innocent.“ “I‘m not.“ “You keep saying that but I just don‘t believe you, sweetie.“ He still had his hand on your hip and it felt like your skin was actually burning under his touch. You really didn‘t think you were brave enough but for some unapparent reason you managed to get your next words out of your mouth. “How can I prove it to you?“ He was surprised by your question, he had raised his eyebrows but his smirk had vanished a tiny bit. “Hey are y’all coming?“ Hansol’s voice had made both of you jump slightly. Jihoon slackened his grip on your waist and took a step back to lessen the tension between you. “We‘re on our way!“

“What even are we playing?“ you asked Jihoon as you were walking over. “If you would’ve paid attention you would know.“ he winked at you. You just rolled your eyes which made him chuckle. “It’s just some weird drinking game Seungkwan wanted to try for the longest of time. Apparently it’s a bit like truth or dare.“ “Oh, that sounds like fun.“ “It does. Maybe it‘s a chance for you to prove that you‘re not that innocent?“

Hi! It´s me, Jo. I´d like to thank you for reading my stuff! I really hope you enjoyed it. If you have any feedback, comments, requests, questions please let me know! 

Also I’m very sorry it took me so much longer to upload a new chapter than I originally thought. University has been more stressful than I predicted :( Oh and if you’d like to be added to the tag list just let me know :)

Tag list: @3sriracha​ 

[mae-gi-writes]

Halloween Escapade | Jacob (The Boyz)

You and Jacob both dislike parties, so why not ditch it to get Mcdonald’s? 

Genre: fluff

A/N: I KNOW I’M ONE MONTH LATE FOR HALLOWEEN But I saved this in my drafts and forgot to post it. Nothing too intense, just a little cute Jacob. Enjoy <3 

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“You mind doing my makeup?" Looking up from your makeup palette, your heart does a little stutter at the sight of a dishevelled-looking Jacob decked in what seems to be a skeleton-themed shirt and pants. On the occasion of Halloween, the office had decided to close its doors early to celebrate. It was also a good excuse to order some good assortments of finger-picking foods and expensive cake. Being the artist that you were, you had brought along your entire makeup collection, ready to help out anyone in need of paint or decoration on their face.

But you had not expected Jacob, of all people, to be standing before you while shuffling his feet like a shy little schoolboy. He is obviously of a higher status than you are in the office, one of the Directors that has a certain percentage of shares, no doubt. You as a mere office worker that looked up to him in admiration, and had to admit that you had developed a little crush throughout the months of noticing his gentle and kind demeanour. "Uh--sure," you quickly stutter out before gesturing towards the seat, "you can sit here." He does so without complaint as you ask, "what kind of makeup do you want?" "Could you do a skull?" "Uhm--" that takes a long time, your brain screams out at you, "s--sure. No promises, though." "That's alright. The uglier the better anyway," he pauses, "not that your drawings are ugly, I--that's not what I meant." You chuckle softly signalling to him that it's all good. Opening up your palette and dabbing your sponge with white powder, you hesitate slightly before you start covering his face; his eyebrows, over his eyes, down the slope of his nose. He's gorgeous, you think to yourself while trying not to giggle at the thought of you two being so close in physical proximity. You hope that he can't hear the way your heart practically beats out of your chest, an excited hummingbird bursting out through your ribcage. "So...did you learn that yourself?" Jacob asks after a bout of silence. "Mostly. But I was always comfortable with painting and all that stuff," you start contouring his face with gray and silently appreciate the flawless texture of his skin, "I used to do makeup for halloween every year when I was still in school." "That's so cool. I wish I could paint like that," his eyes flutter open to momentarily gaze into your eyes, "the only thing I'm good at are numbers." "Well you know, I grew up wishing I was good at numbers." 'We always want something we can't have." "True," you start blending the black with the white, the makeup taking on a grey tone to create a shadow, "but if it makes you feel better, most people admire the ones who know their numbers well." "You sound like you know something about that." You just smile faintly, "I hope I don't sound too whiny. That wasn't my intention." "No, your honesty is...refreshing," he mumbles through closed lips as you brush over his face with the blender, "I mean, I don't really know how it feels because I'ver never faced this kind of problem. But I can understand how frustrating that might be, for people to judge someone based on their jobs." His compliment throws you off, so much so that you can't help the heat from spreading over your cheeks, "oh--uh, I hope that wasn't too rude. I wasn't trying to offend you or anything--" "No no, not offended," Jacob raises his hands in mock surrender, "I'd be frustrated too, in your place." His blunt sweetness makes your heart flutter and it makes you glad that his eyes are closed at this very moment, for it would've probably made you even more embarrassed to be looking at him face to face. Clearing your throat, you move to his eyes, applying soft dark smudges over his lids as he asks,"so, how do you find life here?" That's how it goes, with him sitting patiently and as still as a statue, and you painting the contours of his face while trying your best not to admire the beauty of the man sitting before you, a work of art you simply can't take your eyes off of. But the more you converse, the more you realize how much you have in common. And the result is astounding, to say the least. For starters, you would never have known that your superior hates socials the most, or that despite people at the office drinking their coffee black, Jacob prefers his coffee with lots of milk and sugar that is enough to cause him diabetes. Not that he's proud of it, mind you. It's not until someone coughs loudly behind Jacob that you realize he's been sitting there a lot longer than he's supposed to, jumping before quickly noticing the growing line of impatient people waiting for their makeup. "Oh sorry sorry!" He jumps up, as though startled he's stayed that long, "I'll leave you to it then, Y/N. Thank you so much for the makeup." "Oh no worries," your heart drops slightly at the thought that you'll never get the chance to talk to him like this again. But before you have time to dwell on that fact, another colleague is asking for a vampire kind of look. You lose sight of Jacob for most of the night, though small glimpses of his handsome figure is enough to entertain your little fantasy. You try not to feel so disheartened, knowing full well that there's not even a single strand of hope that he'll even look at you that way. Hell, he doesn' t even look at you. Stop being stupid, you tell yourself sharply. Nothing's never going to happen. He's probably already taken, idiot. "I'm going home," you mutter to your colleague as another song blasts through the stereo hall. The group protests but you shake your head and quietly slip out to leave all the noise behind, the night air welcoming you with its fresh chilly air. A soft sigh falls from your lips when you close your eyes for a brief moment. A car honks in the distance, you pay no mind. Let's go home, you think to yourself, body turning towards the subway station. You walk a few steps, only to hear another honk, closer this time. You stop and turn, a frown stitching your eyebrows together upon noticing a car pull up next to you. You're surprised to see Jacob's face greet you when the window rolls down. You blink at him. "Need a ride?" --------- That is how you find yourself sitting in Mcdonald's parking lot a few minutes later with warm food takeaways in your lap and the smell of fries wafting through the air, chatting with a man whom you'd deemed unapproachable for the past few months and realizing that there is so much more to what you see to him on a daily basis. You'd be lying to say that you don't feel your heart staggering every time he looks at you with those beautiful mahogany orbs that seem to hold galaxies. "I never used to celebrate Halloween," Jacob is saying as he pops a chip into his mouth, "my mother hates it, says it's useless to be celebrating an event that rouses the dead." "Technically, she's right." "Yeah, my five year old self didn't think so though." "You managed to celebrate in college?" He nods before pulling a face, "first and last time I drank till I puked." "That sounds fun," sarcasm drips from your voice before you laugh softly at the tongue he pulls out sat you. It's so easy to talk to him, too easy. It scares you, this foreign uninvited sensation of something fluttering through your ribcage as if you're constantly sitting on a swing that is going too fast for you. You talk about school, about where you come from, about how you sometimes miss your parents dearly and how hard it was at first, to be away from home for so long. And then he tells you about growing up, about his childhood dream of becoming a basketball player, one that broke the moment he realized it'd be much harder to actually get into the professional league. And then it quickly drifts to the troubles of life itself, to the nostalgia of losing friends when you grow up, to discussing multiple theories about what the future holds. "Woah, it's late," Your eyes widen in realization when you spot the time upon his dashboard. 3:30.a.m. "Oh," his own eyes go round, "shit I'm sorry. I didn't want to keep yo--" "No no, it's okay. I had fun," you smile softly at him while recalling yiur conversation, "I'm glad we got to talk." Relief breaks out as a sigh through of his lips, "that's good to know," his eyes find yours then, bathed in the reflection of the cheap streetlight hanging over your car, but you realise that it doesn't matter, for Jacob is ephemerally beautiful and carries that around with him wherever he goes. Your heart tugs when you realise that the night will have to end at some point, watching him pull out of the parking lot while asking you for directions to your house. The night started out with no expectations, with the sense that you can't breathe around the people you're surrounded with. Yet, this moment feels like a gust of oxygen bursting through your lungs. "Can I say something?" Jacob's voice pulls you out of your reverie as he turns onto your street, glancing over at you out of the corner of his eye. You hum for him to continue. He does after a few beats of hesitation. "You know you can talk to me, even if we're at the office," his murmur is so soft you barely catch it. You look at him in surprise, not expecting such words to fall from his lips. But the look he gives you is one that makes heat spread throughout your chest in parallel to the heat covering your cheeks. He continues, "I know that a lot of people are scared of me, because of what they think I might do considering my privileges. But take that title away and I'm just like everyone else." At this point, his vehicle wheels to a stop right before your front door and he turns his head so that your gazes clash, dark obsidian filled with a gentleness that you can't quite explain, though it causes your heartbeat to stutter. You gaze back though, trying to decipher the way his face softens and the tender way his lips are curved into a half-smile, as if you're sharing a private joke. "Well," you clear your throat, head whipping towards your door and hand finding the car handle, "I guess that's my stop." Biting your lip and debating whether to follow through with the aftermath of his words haunting your ears, you quickly turn back to him, "I don't think you're that kind of person. I don't think you could ever go behind someone's back just for the sheer fun of it," you see his gaze widen with surprise, "So don't worry about that." Jacob just stares at you in the pause that follows. You stare back, mentally debating whether you should just throw yourself out of the window for being so stupid or whether to ask the said man himself to run you over, so mortified at the prospect of having said such a thing that your orbs immediately drop to your lap. "I ...thank you," comes Jacob's whisper, "that...nobody has ever said that before." "A--Anyway, I should probably go--" you quickly scramble to open the car door only to be stopped by his hand swinging out to grab yours. "Wait," he says breathlessly, "I--Do you want to--you know maybe do this again? Sometime? I--" a shy smile dances across his lips, "I had fun, Y/N." Your heart swells. Your neck flushes with heat as your eyes drop to the ground, "I had fun too," you mumble, allowing his hand to slide down your arm until it reaches yours. His fingers, as soft as a dove's touch, gently twine around yours like vines and a breath catches in your throat. Jesus, he's perfect. "Yeah," your murmur, "I'd like to do this again." You don't want to look at him. You can't look at him, for you know that once you do there'll be no mistaking the blatant effect he has on you, and that is something you wish to keep to yourself a little longer. But that thought flies out of the window the moment you feel the softest of caresses upon your knuckles. Head shooting up to catch Jacob's lips skimming over the back of your head, a shiver runs through your spine the moment your eyes lock with all the feelings you've been attempting to cast aside for most of the night. "Great," he grins against your hand, "I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow?"

[korkisobsessions]

The Oath -

IV. Stray dogs

soooo another chapter. But I need to tell you one thing. My dearest betareader @greasyartrat​ is going throw some hard times, so this chapter wasn´t edited by her, so there might be a lot of mistakes and I want to apologize for them. I´m still struggling with writing in english, so I´m sooooo sorry. 

Hope you enjoy it anyway :)

Days passed and Nilah was lonely. Her guts were in tight knot, and she felt heavy pressure on her chest. Like her heart ache.

Yeongshin disappeared.

He didn’t completely left. He was still in Hanyang. She knew it. But he was avoiding her.

She sometimes caught a glimpse of him. But when their eyes met, he bowed his head and left. It was like she did something wrong, but she didn’t know what.

Seo-Bi was bounding her arms. Her burned hands still hurts. She felt like she was still on fire. Sometimes she woke in the middle of the night patting herself heavy breathing, because she felt the flames licking hungrily her skin again.

And she saw him.

He was sitting on the porch with his trustful rifle in lap. He doesn’t have to. He should be resting, but he was there on guard every night.

“He left with other soldiers...” Seo-Bi spoke calmly, when she catch Nilah’s desperate look towards door every time someone came. “There was few dead in nearby village. They left to hunt them down.” She was covering her skin with healing ointment that brings relief.

“I’m not... It’s just...” She mumbled sadly and bowed her head down.

She missed him.

“You like him?” Seo-Bi looked surprised.

“I think...I don’t know. I thought I was just used to his presence...but... I never felt this way.” She put hand over her aching heart, like if she pushed hard enough it get back to normal.

“I don’t know him much. Sometimes I think he is just a ghost. But I think, you should tell him.”

“Tell him what? Just pathetic nonsenses?” Nilah herd her father´s voice in her head. That she is weak, pathetic waste. And love is for fools. Love doesn’t feed you, doesn’t keep you warm.

And she heard Harlan. No one will ever love you, like I did. And you will never love someone like you love me!

She thought that her brother was right. He was the only one who ever treated her well. Even if sometimes it was thought love. But then she met Yeongshin and she recognised whole new kind of love. She found desire a longing. She needs him to touch her, to look her in the eyes. When she thought about him kissing her, her heart almost explode. And the warm sensation that filled her body was almost unbearable. She never felt that kind of love to her brother or anyone else.

“It’s not pathetic.” Seo-Bi brings her back to reality.

“But, he is avoiding me...” Nilah whispered her throat tight.

“I think he is not good with the feelings ´thing´.” For the first time Nilah saw Seo-Bi smiled. ��He cares about you. Give him time.”

~o~

Nigh was dark and cold. Nilah woke up breathless and with beating heart. She had another nightmare where she was on fire and dead boy was ripping flesh from her abdomen. Her wound was still raw and sensitive, and tonight it was more painful. She sat on a bed and rubbed her eyes. In the darkness she saw Yeongshin’s silhouette, sitting on the wooden porch.

She reached out for one makeshift crutch and clumsily walked outside. He doesn´t lift his head, he probably knew, who is coming. He kept staring at the moon. Face dirty and his body weirdly bent.

“Are you alright?” She whispered, not to wake up sleeping patients. He finally looked at her, eyes heavy.

“I will be...” his voice was tensed.

Then she saw it. His arm was in weird angle in his lap.

“What happened?” Nilah reach out for his arm but he flinched.

“It’s nothing. Go back to sleep.”

“You have dislocated shoulder.” She once again reached for him carefully watching his face. His features were hard, but when she touched his chest he breathed out and closed his eyes. She untied his jacket and tried to make her hands not to shake. He was holding his hand close to his body and she saw weird shape of his shoulder.

“May I? She gently squeezed his palm. It was warm and a bit rough. Her heart was hammering in her chest; she thought he must hear it. She touched fresh scar over his palm, that mirrored her own scar from same night. It was like bond.  

“You don’t know what you are doing.” She was looking in his eyes and don’t know, if he is talking about his shoulder, or something deeper.

“I do.” She held his arm and slowly starts to move with it. He clenched his lips and silently groans. She saw lot of man cried, when she helped them with dislocated limbs. Shoulder used to be her daily bread. But Yeongshin take it like brave man. She was almost done. Just one slow move and push and his shoulder were back in it´s place. “It will need, some bonding, and rest.”

Yeongshin catch his breath and hold his injured arm to his chest, finally able to move with it. He didn’t say a word and started to take back his jacket.

Nilah sat with suddenly empty hands, still feeling warmth of his skin. And she missed it like coat in snowstorm.

“Why are you avoiding me?” She whispered with tears in her eyes. “Did I make something wrong? Did I offend you?”

He was frozen. She was so fragile in front of him. Yeongshin was too tempted to touch her, to pull her into his arms...

“I shouldn’t be talking to you like this...” his voice was almost whisper “...my lady.” He adds and kneeled before her with bowed head. “You are noble lady and I’m just like stray dog.”

Nilah was shocked. But the pain in her chest woke her up. How could he talk to her like that after all they've been through? She covered her mouth and tears were running down her cheeks.

“Don’t say that!” her voice was broken. “Don’t you ever talk to me like this!” she didn’t want to be so weak before him, but his words and emotionless voice hurt her like dagger into heart.

“I’m sorry my lady...” he kept speaking with her like with stranger.

“I’m not damn lady!” she shouted. She doesn’t care anymore if she woke someone. She was just letting her frustration out. She found the strength and hit him in the chest. It wasn’t hard, and maybe it hurt her, more then him. Her burned arms started to ache again. But she doesn’t care. “Are you blind?” She hit him again. He was standing there with empty face receiving hits without complain. “Do I look like lady to you?” another hit. Her fist aching. “I was with you from the beginning! I was in the field when that farmers attack you...” another hit. Her arms started to bleed again. Her face was wet from tears. “I was protecting Sangju with you. I was on next floater. I saw your face when others tossed that bitten man to the water. I lost my closest friend in that damn tunnel!” another hit. Her voice was raw and broken. “I run with you and men to Mungyeong Saejae! I was ready to die next to you, when you shoot on Cho Hak Joo!” She screamed at him!

He was still silent. She didn’t care just needed to get it out. “I abandoned my friends and my home in Sangju to fought here, next to you!” she was already tired. The last hit was just weak bump. “So, don’t you dare to call me lady, because it sounds like insult.”

His jacket on his chest was wet when she tiredly lean on him. She was pathetic, her father was right!

Suddenly she felt his arms closed around her. And his face buried in her hair. She wasn’t expecting it and was shocked at first. Tears were running down her face and she muffled quite sobs in fabric of his shirt. And all she can focus was his scent. It was wild and dark like him, but it calmed her. Scent forest, fire and blood, all mixed with scent of a man.

His arms were warm. She heard her father´s voice again. Love will never keep you warm. He lied! It was like safe heaven in the world full of dead and misery. How could she find so much comfort in the man she didn’t even know? All she knew was that he was the most skilled warrior she ever met. He killed without hesitation, his aim was ruthless, but he wasn’t cold blooded. He has mercy. He was the only one, who stayed in the tunnel to kill Deok Sung. He was her master, her closest friend and Yeongshin gave him warrior´s death that she cannot do. She was standing in the dark, watching him cut Deok Sung’s throat and silently crying. She was too scared, too lost. But faith in this man and Prince Chang gave her hope.

She heard his heart beating loud and fast. He kissed her on her forehead, his lips warm and soft, she almost pleaded him to kiss hers. But she knew it was inappropriate.

“I’m sorry...” he whispered, his voice finally full of emotions. Still holding her in his arms. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t say that.” No matter that this man was killer, he was always kind and gentle to her.

“Just don’t say it again.” She whispered to his chest holding fabric of his shirt in fists. “If you are stray dog...so am I.”

“But...tell me one thing...” he still held her against his chest. “Why?”

She lifted her face and looked him in the eyes. They were dark, illuminated just by moon. She hesitated.

“Because you have faith in Lee Chang. And I have faith in you.”

[looselucy]

Vitae & Mortem

Dystopian AU - Read previous chapters

Part Three

She looks down to the tiny child in her arms with nothing but love, wishing to hold her this close forever, share this bond forever, and she’s crying. But it’s not because she’s overwhelmed, it’s because on some level, she knows. She knows the words that he’s about to say, maybe from the look in his eyes, or maybe that’s what the sinking feeling in her stomach is. She knows she’s going to die, she just doesn’t know how long she has left. “I’m sorry to tell you, Miss Glover, but you’ve tested positive for Mortemosis.”

“What does this mean?” She asks casually, stroking the cheeks of her new-born. “It varies.” He shrugs. “You could have a couple of hours, or a couple of days. But… the outcome is inevitable.” “I’m going to die.” She states. “Yes. I’m sorry, Miss Glover.” He sighs. “I’ll give you a minute.” He walks from the room, closing the door behind himself, and Arbel Glover finds herself still completely calm. She gazes down to her daughter, silently enjoying the few moments they get to share, because their time together will end in just an hour, the disease racing through her body, which is already trembling, her skin becoming purple, but she can’t see it. All she can see is her daughter. Mortemosis is painful, and quick. It weakens every single inch of the body, causing the lungs to collapse, the muscles in every section of your body to eat away at themselves. It thickens the blood to the point where the veins can no longer sustain the liquid, leaving the victims battered and bruised and aching as the heart slowly begins to die, beating slower and slower until it can’t fight any longer. The quicker, the better. This can sometimes drag on for days; days of being able to feel that your heart is truly trying, battling against the virus. It never wins. Arbel Glover smiles down to her daughter, grateful tears forming in her eyes, and this could continue for minutes or hours, she’s unsure. Even when the doctor re-enters, she barely acknowledges his presence. “What will happen to her?” She whispers. “We’ll do our best to get her into the governments schooling system.” “And if you can’t?” “Then hopefully one of the charities will take her.” Arbel knows that her daughter will end up on the street at some point, and somehow, that scares her more than her own death does. She wants to stay in this moment forever; before she can feel the pain and before her daughter is taken from her arms and forced to fight a world full of people who do not care about her existence. She doesn’t want this moment to pass, she wants this forever. “The father?” Her doctor asks. “He’s not here. He doesn’t want anything to do with me, or her.” “But he might die.” “Let him.” She hopes the disease eats him alive, causing maximum pain, because that’s all he deserves. She hopes that Mortemosis aches through his body in the way it’s aching through hers. She doesn’t survive long enough to know that it never does. “Do you have a name for her?” He proceeds, caring little for the father’s wellbeing. “I’m not saying it will stick. All the girls who are put into the government scheme are addressed as Jane, but we can keep your name on our records.” The young girl squirms in her arms, but only for a moment, and then she’s still again. The painful thing about the image is that this is the closest thing this child will ever have to a home, being there in her mother’s arms. She’ll never know a comfort like this again, and she’s not even old enough to be aware. Her mother doesn’t even live long enough to see her daughter’s eyes, the way they’re almost orange, autumn seized in her spherical pearls. “Wendy.” She smiles, brushing the backs of her fingers over her daughter’s cheek. “I want to call her Wendy.” 10:03AM I awoke when the wind blew hard, and I saw his face as soon as my eyes shot open, laying close beside me. I shuffled away instinctively, wondering how I’d ended up so close to the boy I’d made a deal with the evening before. I took a few moments to check over his face as he slept, his swollen lips, how peaceful he looked, like he was wrapped up in sheets indoors somewhere, the wind barely touching him, just playing with his short hair. I pulled my eyes from him, checking around the area and cracking my back, reluctant to wake him but unsure how this little treaty was supposed to work. I’d never been like that with anyone before. Never before had my eyes opened to someone I was familiar with, even if it was just a little bit. There were people I’d gone to school with, and there with other kids that I’d helped for a day or an evening, but never anything like that. We’d agreed to help one another, and it was completely new territory. The only thing I could see that I had in common with the boy asleep in front of me was that we were as stubborn as each other, so the fact we’d come to this agreement was baffling. I was still feeling sceptical, but it was clear that the boy knew more than I did, about who we should trust, words and facts and figures that I’d never been given the access to. I had to learn from him. I had to find out as much as I could from him. I owed myself that much. By the time I was lifting myself to my feet, he was opening his eyes, cowering into himself after feeling the harsh wind, remembering where he was. It wasn’t something any of us could ever get used to, no matter how many times it happened. Sleeping on the street was not something that you could grow accustom to, even if it was all you’d ever known. “What’s that?” He asked me automatically. “What?” “You have a watch?” I grabbed at my wrist, the item cold against my palm, hiding it from him for a reason I couldn’t place. It was the only materialistic item that I owned, and I loved it for that reason. I could look down to my wrist and pretend I was someone else, someone who needed to keep track of their day and monitor their time. “I… Yes.” I replied. “What time is it?” “I… I don’t know. It doesn’t work. It’s been… stuck pointing down for as long as I’ve had it.” “Then… why do you have it?” “I just… I think it’s nice to own something.” I swallowed. He sat himself upright, rubbing over his eyes with the back of his hand, but nodding, understanding why I felt that way towards the item. I took a few more steps away from him as he got to his feet, finding it strange that I’d just slept beside him, because now we were awake and the sky was grey, I didn’t feel comfortable around him. He had this aura, one that was unfriendly and harsh. Neither of us had eased around the other, and it meant that trust and comfort was still a while away. My nostrils flared as I kept my eyes on him, seeing the way he noticed my unease. “You’re scared of me.” He stated. “You’re intimidating.” “So are you.” He scowled. “That’s how we’re meant to be, right? That’s why we’ve got this far.” I shrugged, because I knew my attitude had helped, but also knew how much of my still being alive, and free, was down to sheer luck. Maybe he felt differently, since it seemed his moves had been calculated and constructed for as long as he could remember, but even still, we were both lucky.

“C’mon,” He groaned after realising I wasn’t going to reply to him, stretching a little before taking off on his journey. “There’s a lot to learn.” I followed swiftly, staying just a few steps behind him, watching the back of his head with my eyes low. I’d put my trust in him and I was still trying to figure out why. I’d slept beside him without worrying that he would push a knife into me whilst I slept. It didn’t make sense to me that I could trust him so little at the same time as allowing him access to all of my trust. The situation made little sense. We trawled towards Leicester Square in silence, and I couldn’t help but notice the confidence in his walk. Most Lost Children kind of cowered in on themselves, kept their heads down, their bodies hunched in on themselves, shy and scared of the world. This boy didn’t walk that way. He sauntered down the street like he owned it, tall and threatening. Usually, people were blind to our presence in their lives, but he even managed to pull in the eyes of people who were lucky enough to live in homes, and have jobs, and know what it was like to have a family. There was just something about him. It baffled me. “Are you going to tell me your name?” I asked, noting how there were still people slumbering around the square. “Why would I do that?” “So we can try to be normal around each other!” I cried. “You know my name, so I should know yours.” “You didn’t give me your name through choice, you’re just unfortunate because I knew it anyway, like everyone else.” “STOP!” The sudden raise of my voice brought him to a standstill, glaring down at me like I’d offended him. I was hoping that the more I’d seen of him the easier it would become, that we could be okay around each other, but he wasn’t even trying. “What the fuck is your problem?” He glowered. “You know I can help you, and I know you can help me! You don’t need to be so awful to me. I’m trying, and if you’re not going to try then we shouldn’t do this.” “I just don’t want to tell you my name! I’m happy to do this but I don’t owe you shit!” “Stop using those words! You know I don’t understand them!” “I’ll use whatever fucking words I want! I’m not telling you my name, and you either accept that, or you don’t!” “Fine, but stop being so awful to me! Stop! Please! Just… be kind! I don’t understand why you’re not being kind!” Regardless of how strong Lost Children were, and how high we had built our walls, I guess it was in our nature to be kind to one another. We were treated unfairly, ignored, shunned, an inconvenience to those around us. For that reason, we had this need to be nice to each other, because no one else was offering us that. The majority of us stayed alone, blocked people out, but in those occasions where we let people get close, we softened, became gentle, allowed people to break down our walls, even if it was just for a few minutes. “I… I don’t know how to be.” He eventually mumbled. The boy who refused to share his name had spent his entire life calculating where he could and couldn’t go, who he could and couldn’t trust. He was wary of everything and everyone, and probably barely placed trust even in himself. Although it was impressive that he’d made it to his age without the Krows knowing who is he was, without his face being one that people knew, it had also made him dark, miserable, lonely and bitter. He hadn’t allowed himself to experience those brief moments of kindness from others, or express kindness himself. He’d kept himself even more shut out than the rest of us. “Well… maybe that’s one of the things I can teach you.” I swallowed. “How?” He looked lost suddenly, scared, like maybe his loneliness had created a dark hole within his heart that he’d been trying to ignore. It hadn’t even taken many words or actions for me to force him to look at it, feel it. “Marby.” I nodded. “You need to meet Marby.” 11:44AM “SHE WAS HERE THE OTHER DAY!” I slammed my hand against the glass. “I BROUGHT HER HERE, SO I DESERVE TO KNOW WHERE SHE IS NOW!” “Jax, calm down.” “I know she’s been here again. I know she has. She knows how to get here and she needed help. Her eye… Her eye was bad and you know it was. Tell me what happened.” “Jax-” “TELL ME!” I think I knew. I think I knew because the boy I was with had refused to enter the shelter where I’d dropped Marby just two nights before, and the look in the woman’s eyes. I knew but I just refused to admit it, because I’d trusted that place countless times and I’d literally handed the young girl over to them. I felt tears forming, biting my bottom lip to try and stop them. “Did they come here?” I whispered. “We don’t hand anyone over to the Krows, you know that.” “Did they come here?” I repeated my question. She even looked like she didn’t want to admit it, because she knew that we couldn’t trust the Krows. No one was sure of what they did with those children they took, but hardly anyone acknowledged the fact that maybe what they did wasn’t helpful for us. “They came and offered sanctuary.” She finally admitted, and I wasn’t the only one with tears in my eyes. “She chose to go with them, there was nothing I could do.” “How could you-” “They’re invincible, Jax!” She let out a sniffle. “They have free reign… We-we can’t just turn them away! They came and said they would keep them safe. Six children left with them. Marby was one of them, I’m sorry.” I slammed my fist against the glass, over and over, my growls aching my throat alongside my sobs, and I could feel this weird pain, bending inside of me. I’d only been with her for a matter of hours but she was so young, so pure, the kind of kid who could barely string a sentence together. Of course she had volunteered to go with them. Of course she’d reached out for adults who promised to help, because she had no idea how to help herself. My whole body ached at the thought of her choosing to leave with them, looking up to them with hope in her eyes and walking willingly into their trap. When the side of my fist began to bruise, blackening automatically, I stopped my physical attack. “I trusted you.” I spat. “I trusted you to take care of her, and you didn’t! You let her walk away with those monsters.” “I don’t know what you wanted me to do!” “Something!” I yelped. “That’s your problem! That’s the problem with all of you! You don’t know how to help and you don’t even try to think of a way you can! You might work for a charity that claims to support us, but you don’t. You’re not trying hard enough! You accept the world as it is and you refuse to fight for us when you know we can’t fight for ourselves. Marby was so young and naive that she chose to go with them, and now she’s probably dead, and you didn’t do a thing to stop that. That’s on your head.” None of her words would be worth my while, so I turned on my heel, storming out of there as quickly as I could. I didn’t have the energy to fight her further. I took off down the street, forgetting that I had company. “Jax?” I heard that the boy I’d teamed up with was following me. “JAX?” “You were right.” I spoke, not turning to look at him and not stopping my venture. “You were right about that place. We can’t trust them.” “What did they do? Jax, stop! Calm down! Talk to me.” “You’re actually the last person I want to speak to right now. I want to be alone.” Regardless of what I’d said, I could hear that he was hot on my heel, soon grabbing me by the arm and forcing me to stop. I tried to pull away from him, but he pushed me to the side of the pavement, my back crashing against a brick wall, not looking into his green eyes. “I know this is new for us but we have to try. You said we have to try!” He scowled. “What happened? Please, just talk to me.” “I don’t see you trying.” “I’m here, aren’t I? I’m asking.” “I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t do this.” Never before had I felt such a strong urge to be alone, to just become a recluse and stray from others, but I had let her past my wall just two short days before and I was sure she was dead. I couldn’t say I liked him, but nor did I want to. Liking and becoming attached to anyone just hurt. So when he spoke again, I wished he hadn’t, because my heart stung. “My name’s Harry.” He breathed. “I… I think I’m twenty, but I don’t know… But, that’s my name… always has been. It’s Harry.” I started crying again, silent tears swelling in my eyes, and I finally looked at him, and for the first time he seemed soft, almost like he already knew what had happened. “The Krows came. Marby’s gone. They just… they let her walk away.” I blubbered. “She was so young and… and she had this infection in her eye… and… they just let her…” I don’t know why he looked so down, because it can’t have been to do with her. He hadn’t even met her, and we were both aware that children were taken every day, children were dying every day. Maybe he was uncomfortable because he could see how sad I was, how even being as lonely and subdued as I was, these things still affected me. I wasn’t sure that was something he let himself feel, and maybe he’d figured I would be the same way. I’d love to pretend that I was as strong as he was, so unfeeling, but I couldn’t keep up the act. It suddenly felt like everything was falling apart around me, and I couldn’t hold myself together any longer. “We should go and find her.” He swallowed after a long spell of silence. “That’s a suicide mission.” I groaned. “Aren’t you bored of… not fighting?” He whispered harshly. “We’ve just… accepted that this is our life! And we struggle every fucking day but it’s like we don’t think there’s anything we can do! The Krows are looking for you. They know you by name… They know your face. They’re looking for you. If you don’t start fighting now, then when will you?” Surviving was a daily fight, one that was exhausting, sometimes meaning going days without food, without any warm clothing or shelter. Fighting meant stealing and bruises and blood. Fighting had never meant anything more than that. What would we even be fighting for? “We can’t change Mortemosis.” I told him. “Any fight we put up will be useless. It’s a disease that we don’t have a cure for. Every second we try to do something, another child’s parents die! What do you think we can do?” “Something.” He replied confidently. “We can do something, and I say we start with the Krows.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes, disregarding his foolish dreams of our miniature rebellion, wishing he would distance from me, but if anything it felt as though he was getting closer, judgement in his eyes due to the fact I was basically saying I’d rather carry on through our struggle than even try to do something to solve it. It just seemed so hopeless to me. “Please just take me somewhere I can trust. Please. Please tell me who I can trust.” 12:15PM Harry kept his head down as he shovelled down the food that had been handed to us. There must have only been four other kids there, none of whom were bothering to look in our direction, but he seemed so paranoid. I looked around, still trying to wrap my head around the place he’d taken us to. It just looked like someone’s home, where they’d set up foldout tables and chairs for us just for the day, their lives surrounding us. Sofas, TV’s, books and tattered carpets, the signs of a life well lived. I figured we were just in the home of a family who helped in any way they could. “No one’s looking at you.” I told him. “Can’t be too careful.” “I find it strange that you won’t even lift your head here, but you’ve become a little team with me. That makes no sense.” He lifted his dead eyes to me, still chewing on the small amount of food we’d been provided, and though things were still odd, we were kind of easing around one another. “We can’t keep questioning why we’re doing this, because we’ll never have an answer. We either do it, or we don’t.” I dropped his gaze, swallowing my pride a little. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” “Am I… allowed to… ask about you?” He rapidly changed the conversation. “Me?” “Your history. I want to know.” A clattering from the room next to the one we were in sent us all spiralling into a small state of panic, our hearts stopping for a moment and all our heads whipping into the direction the loud bang had come from, startled and scared. Harry seemed to compose quicker than the rest of us, like with his head down and his hood up, nothing could hurt him. “Do I get to know about your history?” I asked once I thought I was calm, but there was still a very apparent quake in my voice. “Yes.” He replied bluntly, his voice fine. “Okay. Well… Mortemosis, obviously. My parents died and I was put into the government scheme. So, I’ve been on their records since the beginning. I’m guessing you were with one of the charities?” “Yeah. I bounced between a few. They all… got shut down through lack of funding so… I was all over the place when I was young.” “That’s why you’re harder to find than I am.” “Must have helped.” He shrugged. “Tell me more.” “The government schooling system stops when you’re thirteen. I think… they track people by the year they’re born. So on the first day of your thirteenth year… you’re out. All the girls were Jane and all the boys were John.” “Then, how did you end up with the name Jax?” “I picked it from a book. I used to read a lot. I can’t really, anymore. I try but… I struggle.” “You can’t read?” He lowered his brows. “Not really. And what I did read was… monitored, you think?” He smiled, big and wide, and I think that was the first time I’d seen it. His entire face changed, going from this sharp, dangerous look to one that radiated beauty, happiness, innocence. I felt mesmerised by him. “You don’t know what swear words are. That’s… mind blowing to me.” He sniggered. “Well… tell me!” “They’re kind of… used for emphasis. They have power in them. They’re strong and they’re unyielding. You should start using them. You’ll fucking love it.” I smiled back at him, still confused by the words he used occasionally, but admiring them, because even though they made no sense to me, they did exactly what he said they did. When he spoke those words, he did so with confidence, with flare and bile and supremacy. It was fascinating. “What else do you think they’ve kept hidden from me?” I asked, still smiling a little. “Theories.” “Theories?” “What people believe to be true.” He loosely explained the word. “Where… facts and figures have lead some people. Y’know, some people think the government have a cure for Mortemosis? They just won’t hand it over… pretty much for the reasons they created it in the first place.” “But, the world is uglier now than it’s ever been.” I squinted my eyes. “True, but it’s under their control.” He shrugged. “Ugly, but controlled. Manipulated to be how they want it to be. I don’t think it was a mistake, that the parents die rather than the kids. I think they knew exactly what they were doing. There’s essays on it. Entire groups of people who believe that, and want to fight for us.” “Then where are they? I don’t see anyone fighting.” “Because people are scared. If their government is willing to create a disease that kills innocent children, parents… Who knows what else they’ll do. How far they’ll go.” I had never really found myself questioning Mortemosis. It was just something I accepted. But I’d never been given access to these theories that he spoke of. I’d never known there were people questioning it, doubting it, wishing to fight against it. The thought of that made a somewhat proud grin crawl across my face. “Well, what do you believe?” I asked him. “What do you?” He asked back. “I haven’t… allowed myself to believe anything other than what’s been handed to me until now. I haven’t… seen the things you’ve seen, or read the things you’ve read.” “I genuinely think it’s a miracle that you’ve got as far as you have.” He smiled again, suddenly seeming friendly. “You must be… insanely strong.” I dropped his gaze, my stomach tugging in a way I was unfamiliar with, feeling flushed and confused. I knew I was strong, but hearing him say that after he’d been so dismissive of me, and so sceptical of my life, it was nice to hear him acknowledge my resilience. “I am.” I nodded confidently. “But part of it is just acting strong. You can’t do that with your head down.” He scooped up the last bit of his food, squinting his eyes and he placed it into his mouth, but then he finally lifted his head, forcing a confidence he hadn’t been able to conjure before. I nodded my head with my eyes fixed on his hood. “I want to stay hidden.” He mumbled. “Hidden people can’t change anything. You want change, right?” I could see that he was biting his tongue though his mouth stayed shut. His jaw tightened and locked, his eyes remaining fixed with mine, and he seemed scared. I gave him the most encouraging, kind smile I could. Shaking, he lifted his hands, and pulled his hood down. “I hate this.” He shuddered as he did. “Earlier, at Leicester Square… You brought in eyes. People looked at you. You must feel that. You must be aware of it.” “It’s different when I’m passing people in the street. I’m comfortable looking like I have power. I think part of the reason I do that is because… people don’t think I’m a Lost Child if I don’t look like one. I can just be… normal, for a while. But… it’s close vicinity that makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want anyone to know my face. It’s worked for me, so far.” “I guess it has.” I swallowed. “I don’t know if I’m a good person for you to associate with, if that’s what you want.” “But you need my help, don’t you? You want to know who you can trust?” “I do.” “Well, I can help you with that. Or… We can do something bigger. I still think we should go after the Krows.” “We don’t have the power.” “But I think we should follow them and see where they’re taking these kids!” He cried. “I’ve thought about doing the same thing so many times but, what would we even do when we got there? There’s nothing we can do!” He slammed his fist down onto the table, another loud noise making all of us in the room shiver and shake, and he’d drawn in eyes now. But he didn’t even seem to care, he just seemed angry. “How did you feel when you were thirteen and left on the streets?” He spat. “I bet you felt hopeless then, but now look at you. How do you think Marby felt when she left with the Krows? She must have felt like it was her only option but we both fucking know that it wasn’t. We either live like this until we die, or we do something. I thought of all fucking people you would understand that.” I scowled at him again, silently piecing together some things. How he was reluctant to be around me, yet willing to group with me. How it seemed like he was constantly changing his mind on what he wanted, how he felt. “You looked for me, didn’t you?” I whispered. “You purposefully looked for me. You want to fight and chose me to fight with you.” “No-” “That’s why you were there last night.” I continued, shocked by my own words. “You’re sick of just waiting for your life to end, and you want to fight with the only person you know to be strong. You don’t want to help me, that’s not why you’re here. You want to fight. You’re trying to… convince me that this is my idea but you looked for me. You want me to fight with you.” He looked away, swallowing thickly, irritated that I’d figured him out. He had no intention of merely showing me where was safe and learning from me in return. He knew my name, that I was the oldest Lost Child that the Krows knew of, and he had reached the conclusion that I would be someone who might fight alongside him. That’s why he had been there so rapidly the night before when the Krows appeared. He had hunted me down again in the hope of arranging this with me. I thought that it had been my idea, but this was exactly what he wanted. Looking nervous, he brought his eyes back to me, his fingertips scratching over the splintered wood table. “Will you? Fight with me?” For the third time, a loud bang sounded, a door crashing into a wall. Again, we all whipped our heads in the direction of the noise, alarmed, but this time, with good reason. “The Krows are outside.” The elderly woman gasped. “They’re here.” She hadn’t shown herself before this, she had only offered up her home for us and then stayed hidden, granting us the privacy we requested. It felt strange, actually seeing her, recognising that there were people beyond the government and the charities and the damn Krows who actually acknowledged our existence. The various lines and wrinkles of her skin marked a lifetime full of stories and memories, the kindness in her eyes radiant, her figure crooked and withered. But the most prominent thing I could see, was her fear. “Where can we go?” Harry asked. “The floorboards. Beneath you.” She simply said. She began scuttling towards us as we raised to our feet, Harry immediately gripping at the table and thrusting it to a different part of the room. I only watched for a moment as the old lady struggled to reach down and move the carpet beneath my feet, before I placed a hand on her shoulder to halt her movements. “Let me.” I shuddered. Everyone stepped back as I threw the carpet up, revealing the floorboards, and a small latch. I knew this had happened before. She had used this hiding place before. Once I’d lifted the door, the few of us that had occupied the room began to clamber into the ground, cramming into the small space available to us. I was the last to jump in, crouching down beside Harry and taking the door with me. Only a few seconds later, our hiding space darkened even more so as the woman threw the carpet back over the hatch, the slightest sprinkles of light filtering through the small gaps of the wood, lighting Harry’s face as he breathlessly gazed upwards, fear scratching over his skin and glittering his eyes. We were all packed in tightly together, trying to halt our breathing as much as we could, to be as physically quiet as we were able. I’d never felt a fear quite like it. I’d never felt like they were that close to catching me. As soon as we heard the footsteps above our head I knew that I’d never been in such close vicinity with them before. The child beside me gripped onto my arm, his overgrown nails digging into my skin, but I didn’t flinch. “Can you please tell us why you have tables set up in here?” A low voice above our heads asked. “I’m having family over for dinner.” The elderly lady lied. “We’ve been informed that you’re housing Lost Children in here. Is that correct?” “No.” “Mrs Targan, are you aware that supporting Lost Children without the official paperwork and approval from the government is illegal?” “Yes, I am aware of that.” She replied, and her nerves were clear. I glanced to Harry again, seeing that he shot his eyes to me at the exact same moment. Every single sanctuary available to us, needed some kind of approval from the government. I wasn’t sure what that meant, how deep that approval ran and if it meant that everywhere was monitored, even the places Harry had thought to be safe, but those words definitely set off some alarm bells. Harry closed his eyes, the look on his face sending a message that said he’d given up, like hearing that had shattered his final bit of hope. He looked so defeated. “Well in that case, I’m sure you won’t mind if we search the property.” “Go ahead.” She was trying to force some form of confidence, but it was clear from her tone that something wasn’t right. She was trying her best, but the quake in her voice felt as though she was sending a beacon of light through the floorboards to reveal our hiding place. I kept my eyes on Harry the entire time, perfectly still, entranced by the look of terror on his face, his lack of hope seeming to make his skin pale. There were numerous footsteps over our heads. I guessed that there were around five men upstairs, storming through her home in an attempt to find some proof that she’d been helping young children who desperately needed her help. That was something they could not allow. They began to rip her home to pieces, the table myself and Harry had been sat on soon being overturned, crashing over our heads. The noise forced the boy who was gripping my arm to squeal, just slightly, but enough to make tears fill my eyes. Any noise we made was enough to make feel as though our battle was seconds away from ending, our defeat and what it would involve uncertain. I wasn’t sure how long that went on for, only that it felt like hours. It felt like a lifetime trapped in that darkness with dust scratching down my throat and tears slipping down my cheeks. I’d never felt weaker, or more hopeless. But I would have stayed that way forever, if it meant we didn’t need to hear what happened next. “We think they went out through the back door.” A breathless voice above us spoke. “But they were definitely here.” “Take her away.” Those three words pained me immediately, how dismissive he sounded, like it meant nothing to him. “We’ll deal with her at the centre.” I slapped my hand against mouth to smother my cries as we heard them scuffling above our heads, obviously trying to restrain the woman as she fought their efforts with all the power she could summon. We heard a bang, and then an agonizing scream before she was forced onto the ground just inches above us, her noises stopping instantly. She was out cold. I had to shut my eyes then, forcing back my sobs as we heard them drag her lifeless body from the room, scraping across the floor, and none of them said a word. I was hoping maybe we would hear some questions, some concern, some scorn from one to another over hurting her without a good reason. But they didn’t make a sound, proving once again the fears I’d always had about the Krows. They were heartless. I’d just been naive enough to believe that their cruelty was only directed towards Lost Children. We stayed silent long after we knew they’d gone, not wanting to risk revealing ourselves too soon, and I think we were too shocked to actually move. It was when one of my sobs broke free from my throat and circled the small space that Harry jumped to his feet whilst lifting the door above us, sunlight finally able to reach us fully as everyone started to clamber out, removing themselves from the space like they were forcing themselves back into consciousness after a horrific nightmare. But I couldn’t move. I just kept sobbing. All I could do was cry, covering my face as just let myself be weak. I allowed myself to feel everything, all at once. I always tried so hard to stay composed, but I just felt so defeated. Beneath the freshly bloodstained wood, I allowed myself to break. “Jax, c’mon.” Harry crouched down, offering his hand to me. “We have to go.” “I can’t.” I wept. I felt like being down there saved me from facing the reality of the situation, the reality of my life. Staying down there sheltered me from every single thing I didn’t want to face. I was there, broken, weak, crying, and I wanted to stay that way. Just for a while. Just a while longer where I didn’t need to pretend I was strong. “Jax, please, take my hand.” He was breathless, tears also in his eyes. “They could come back to look for more. We have to leave, now.” “We don’t stand a chance, Harry.” I wiped my eyes, so I could look up and see him clearly. “They’re looking for me. They’re going to find me and they’re going to hurt me and I don’t want you-” “I don’t care about that.” He shook his head, moving his hand even closer. “But-” “I know the risks… but… I also know you’re the only person with the strength and the drive to fight with me. To do something about this. Please… Please fight with me.” The boy ahead of me, had spent most of his life withdrawn, alone, just like I had. He’d moved from one painful situation to the next, battled every single day to survive and spent countless nights on the streets. He was tired. He’d had enough. He wanted, needed change. And he wanted my help. In that moment, I knew I had to. I couldn’t live like that anymore, scared to sleep, the streets as my home and also my biggest threat. Even the sanctuaries we’d once known no longer felt safe. We had to fight, we had to do something. I couldn’t think of a good enough reason not to. So I nodded, and finally placed my hand in his.

[artificialqueens]

Masked (Shalaska) Ch.2 - Anna

A/N hi guys! im sorry it took me so long to post another chapter, i figured you liked it since i received a lot of feedback on the first one! thank you all so much and i hope you enjoy this one too! i basically wanted to write something different, in most of shalaska fics ive read alaska is the vulnerable one, but what if the things were the other way around? i have an entire concept for this fic, so if you want me to ill keep writing! (anxious thoughts and panic attacks are written from personal experience so i hope its accurately described haha also i apologize in advance if the language offends anyone, i myself am a member of LGBTQIA+ community and that is certainly not my intention.) -xx Anna

trigger warnings: strong language, panic attack, violence

„Yeah, yeah, I’m late, whatever, you can be happy I even showed up.“ Sharon said entering the room, cutting off the teacher. She looked around the room, searching for her mystery girl. She was sitting in the first row, right in front of the teacher, listening and taking notes. Sharon noticed how her nose scrunched up when she was focused and how her tongue stuck out when she wrote. Cute, she thought as she walked to her seat in the back of the room. No one was sitting next to her, no one was sitting in the entire last row for that matter. From here she couldn’t see the blonde, only her messy bun, but she was still mesmerized by the presence of this girl.

Sharon was trying to think of an apology, but she had no idea how to do these things. She was never good with feelings, emotions or compassion. That’s why she didn’t do relationships. She would just distance herself from the other person in the fear of fucking it up, leading to her ending up hurt and heart-broken. She wouldn’t say she was scared of vulnerability and intimacy, but she didn’t want people to see her emotional side. So she just gave up on that idea, besides she never really saw the point in relationships. One night stands were something she enjoyed much more. Just lust and sex, no emotions, no feelings, no talking. The walls she built around herself, this mask she was wearing was working, she was confident, beautiful, dangerous, something she couldn’t say about herself a few years ago. She learnt from her mistakes, and she will not repeat them. „Hi! Um, I…I just wanted to apologize again…“ that soft voice. Sharon looked up and saw those warm deep brown eyes again. She realized the class was over and the beautiful girl was standing in front of her. Apologizing. To Sharon. Brown eyes were looking at her icy blue ones, nervous and scared. „Oh. No, um, I’m sorry, I was mean…“ I was mean? Are you stupid?! You’re just embarrassing yourself, shut up and leave, this girl is too good for you anyways, don’t even try. Look at her, she’s an angel, so innocent and pure, you’ll just hurt her. You’re not good enough. Leave before you embarrass yourself again. A familiar voice in Sharon’s head spoke, a voice she was hearing her whole life, the one she was trying so hard to fight. „It’s fine, I’m surprised I didn’t get a punch in the face“ the girl giggled and extended her arm „Alaska.“ Sharon was looking at her dumbfounded. She knows who I am, why does she want to talk to me? „Sharon.“ she said as they shook hands. „I know.“ Alaska said. She was even more beautiful now that she was smiling. „That’s a weird name. It doesn’t suit you.“ Did you really say that out loud? God, you’re more stupid than I thought you were. She’s gonna walk away and never talk to you again, she doesn’t need someone like you. Just leave, you’re hurting her. Alaska’s smile didnt drop. Instead it widdened „Alaska is a weird name, but at least my parents didn’t think I was going to become a drug addict.“ Sharon smiled. Why are you smiling? That wasn’t funny, she’ll think you’re stupid. „What does suit me then?“ Alaska added, oblivious to the fight in Sharon’s head. „I don’t know, something pretty like you.“ Sharon replied. So you’re saying Alaska isn’t a pretty name? You’re insulting her! Alaska blushed a light pink. God, she was gorgeous. She’s probably straight, don’t get your hopes up. And even if she wasn’t, she definitely would want you. „Um, I have to go to the next class. What do you have?“ she asked Sharon. „Maths, I think. I dont know, I dont have my schedule.“ Sharon replied as they exited the classroom. „I have Maths too! We can walk together!“ No, no, no, no, you can’t, you’ll embarrass yourself more. You’re not good enough, leave her alone. „I’d love to, but I think I’m gonna skip this one. I hate the subject and the teacher.“ Why did you say that? Now she’ll think you’re avoiding her. You’re stupid, this is why you shouldn’t talk to anyone. No one likes you.   „Yeah sure, no problem. Gotta keep that reputation up!“ Alaska winked and walked away. Sharon ran outside. The voice in her head was only getting louder. She doesn’t like you, why would she? She’s smart and pretty and you’re not. Not good enough. Never was, never will be. Look at you, skipping class because you can’t talk to her. You don’t deserve to be happy. This is why no one likes you, you’re stupid, a piece of shit. Not good enough. Not good enough. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, calm down. Exhale, not good enough. Her breaths were short, the pressure in her lungs was unbearable. Her throat started tightening. Not good enough. She wanted to escape but she couldn’t. You can’t do this here, someone will see you you’ll embarrass yourself. Inhale, exhale. The voice was filling her head, she felt like throwing up. Inhale, exhale. She was cold but her skin was burning. She slid down the wall to the ground, tears now falling down her cheeks. She tried to calm herself down but she couldn’t. Inhale, exhale. The knot in her stomach only became tighter and the voice didn’t go away. You’re pathetic, maybe you’ll finally die. She was shaking as she rocked back and forth, mumbling calm down and breathe to herself. After a few painful minutes, her breathing started to normalize again. She lit up a cigarette, but she remained sitting on the grass. You can’t go through this again. You have to control yourself, she thought. Panic attacks weren’t a new thing for Sharon. In fact, they happened very often, her social anxiety always triggering them. But she never said anyone what was going on in her head, she didn’t want to seem vulnerable. She couldn’t allow people to see this side of her. She didn’t want people to know that she was struggling and fighting her inner demons every day. She was Sharon Needles, she wasn’t scared of anything or anyone, that’s what people thought and that’s what she wanted the to think. Her thoughts quickly disappeared when she saw a familiar figure exit the school building. Alaska. She was gingerly walking around the yard, her previous confidence gone. Why is she alone? Does she not know anyone here? How could people not want to be around her? Sharon thought. „Hey, dyke!“ Sharon heard a voice echoing around the yard. Everyone fell silent. She quickly stood up. She was used to homophobia by now, but if this person thought they were going to get away with it, they were terribly mistaken. She saw a tall, raven haired girl move to the middle of the yard. Violet. Sharon scoffed. Violet thought she was something, wanted to look tough and untouchable, and she did that by bullying other, weaker people. She once picked on Sharon, and when she got beaten up, she never even came near Sharon again. Then who was she talking to? Sharon then saw Alaska, frozen in spot, clearly shaking and firmly grasping her bag. „What’s the matter, lesbo? Kitty got your tongue?“ Violet approached Alaska with a smug grin on her face. Sharon was having none of it. „Oh Sharon! So nice to see-“ Violet didn’t finish her sentence. She was now laying on the ground, swearing and squeezing her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding. „I would beat you up again but you’re not even worth it.“ Sharon said and added „If I ever hear you talking shit like this about anyone again, I will make sure that you visit your plastic surgeon again, we all know those lips are fake doll!“ Sharon now turned to Alaska. She was still shaking and her pupils were dilated with fear.  „Are you ok?“ Sharon asked her in a soft voice. „Y-yeah, I’m fine, y-you didn’t have to punch her though…“ Alaska was trying to compose herself as the commotion in the yard was settling down and people were walking away. „Violet is a stupid whore and she deserves much worse than just a punch in the face, trust me.“ A small smile appeared on Alaska’s face, but she was still visibly upset. „Come with me.“ Sharon said and thought about taking Alaska’s hand, but figured the girl probably wouldn’t want that, not after what just happened. They started walking towards the dorms in silence. „Thank you.“ Alaska said quietly „You really didn’t have to do that.“ Sharon didn’t know what to respond so she just nodded and kept walking. „You’re probably going to get in trouble for punching another student.“ Alaska continued, trying to start a conversation. „Not the first or the last time I end up in detention.“ Sharon said „Besides, Violet should be the one who gets in trouble, she started it. But the teachers don’t care, all she has to do is bat her long lashes at them and they forgive her every time. They think she’s an angel or something, its annoying.“ „She’s done stuff like this before?“ Alaska asked reluctantly. „Yeah, all the time. Nowadays, not that much, because I may or may have not beat her up…“ Sharon replied with a small victorious grin on her face. Alaska couldn’t help but chuckle. „Has she…has she ever insulted you?“ she then asked sheepishly, almost as if afraid Sharon would do the same to her if she asked too much. „Only once.“ Sharon said. „Come here, I want to show you something“ She took Alaska’s hand and felt an unfamiliar flutter in her chest when the girl squeezed her hand back. They walked behind the dorm building, where Sharon pulled down ladders that were leading to the roof of the building. „Are you scared of heights?“ Sharon asked Alaska, completely forgetting to ask about that earlier. Alaska shook her head and started to climb the ladders. Sharon was right behind her, wondering why did this girl trust her so much. She could kill her up there and no one would find the body. She was pulled out of her morbid thoughts by the sway of Alaska’s hips in front of her, and suddenly she had to focus on not falling down. When they reached the top, Alaska looked around with a big grin on her face. From here you could see the entire property of the boarding school, or prison as Sharon liked to call it. Sharon focused her gaze on Alaska instead of the surrounding nature, she’s seen it thousands of times, the beautiful girl in front of her was much more captivating. „What?“ Alaska pulled Sharon out of her trance, smiling and looking expectantly at her. „Hm? Oh, nothing, just, um, nothing“ Sharon replied offering a small smile. You’re fucking this up, she hates you. The voice she dreaded hearing was back, consuming her thoughts. „It’s so beautiful up here.“ Alaska continued to look around and admire the sight. „Not as beautiful as you.“ It took Sharon a few moments before she realized what she said. A deep crimson blush covered her cheeks as she stared down at the ground, not wanting to see Alaska’s reaction. You’re such an idiot, who says stuff like that? She’ll think you’re creepy and run away, you’re scaring her. Oh, so you’re blushing now? What are you, in middle school? She heard Alaska giggle and couldn’t help but to look up, only to see that Alaska’s cheeks were painted a rose color too. „You’re too sweet“ she said trough her giggles „You’re not that bad yourself, you know that?“ Alaska batted her long lashes at her and walked to the edge of the roof to sit down. She patted the space next to her, motioning Sharon to come sit next to her. Did she, did she just…compliment me? No she didn’t don’t be ridiculous, look at you, she’s way out of your league. Don’t get your hopes up. Sharon thought as she plastered a smile on her face to mask the confusion in her head and went over to sit next to Alaska.

[aqua-harry]

42. "Stop being so cute." :)

42. “Stop being so cute.”

“No, no, no!” you shake your head and place your hand on Harry’s bicep. “’t’s not the number of cards you have that’s the issue. ‘t’s the fact that you have absolutely no idea how to play the game.”“Well then tell me!” he bursts out, throwing his hands in the air. 

“Been tryin’ to! For the past half hour!” you laugh and bury your face in the side of the sofa, little snorts escaping through your giggles.

Harry grunts in frustration and snatches the cards out of your hands, beginning to shove all of the cards back in the box. He mumbles about how if capitalism weren’t so rampant in the world today, it would be much easier to learn how to play a simple card game while intoxicated. You choose not to mention that he just dropped at least €6000 on new Gucci items within the past day and a half and has absolutely no place to be grumbling about capitalism, but you feared he might actually become mad and not speak to you for the rest of the evening.

You hiccup with laughter and make an attempt to stand up from your seated position on the floor, against the coffee table in Harry’s living room. “Gotta pee,” you say as you grab onto the side of the table in an attempt to stabilize yourself. You place your palm on your mate’s head as you walk by, climbing over his spider-like limbs. He takes a swig from the bottle of Fireball with one hand and shoos you off with the other.

In the silence of the bathroom, you begin to realize how intoxicated you really are. You will yourself to sober up, pinching the skin on your cheeks, knowing that you have to work in the morning. But it’s been so long since you’ve gotten to hang out with just Harry, and you missed your best friend. Looking down at the chipped nail polish on your fingernails, you swallow harshly, trying to physically push familiar feelings back down into your gut. 

It’d been difficult to harbor feelings for him over the past year. If you were honest, you had probably been harboring feelings for him since you’d met through mutual friends a handful of years ago. Alcohol always made your feelings more apparent, and with the two of you being affectionate people in general, when both of you were drunk, it was non-stop touching and giggling into one another’s hair and neck and shoulders. But when the two of you were drunk and alone…well, that was an entirely different can of worms to open.

A month earlier, the two of you had gotten drunk at a bar with mutual friends. You shared a cab home with Harry, safe from fans and paparazzi in your small town. He had walked you to your door, and the two of you made out for a good half hour on your porch. The cabbie had honked aggressively after he’d tired of waiting, shocking the two of you out of your drunken stupor. Your lips tingled for days afterwards. And yet, neither of you had mentioned it since, nor had anything happened since. You’d hoped - each time you were around Harry after that night - you’d get the chance to kiss him again. You knew that your wishes were for naught, as neither of you would want to ruin your friendship to give a relationship a shot. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t make out, did it? Did it?

“Hey,” you pat Harry’s head as you enter the living room once again, plopping down on the couch next to him.

“Hiya,” he smiles lazily, his eyes watery and his hair a floppy mess against his forehead. He sinks back into the cushions, offering you the bottle of cinnamon whiskey. You happily accept the gesture, taking two small swigs before setting it onto the table in front of you. 

“What’s something you’ve never told me before?” you ask, playing with the ends of you hair.

“Somethin’ ‘ve never told yeh?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “like somethin’ you wouldn’t normally tell someone. ‘s not embarrassin’ or anything, jus’ something not e’ryone knows.” Your speech is slightly slurred, but neither of you seem to mind.

Harry furrows his brow as he thinks, and you almost lean forward and press away the wrinkle between his eyebrows. He has to reach into his memory for something he hasn’t yet confessed to you - or to anyone else. Something worthy of a drunk confession that would satisfy your request, yet not reveal anything too personal. He felt as though he could trust you more than anyone else in his life, which was something in and of itself. But just because he could trust you didn’t mean he had to reveal everything to you - he’d always be inherently private, no matter how much he trusted someone.

“One time,” he begins, “when I was a little kid? I had this thing with ears. I think it started with an advert I’d seen for hearin’ aids. I snuck away to this hill we had ‘hind our house and I started puttin’ lil’ rocks in me ears like they were ‘earin aids. Would just sit there with pebbles in me ears for like, an hour at a time. Then I would take ‘em out ‘n go back ‘ome.”

You laugh in an explosion, causing you to abruptly clasp your hand over your mouth. Your shoulders shake and you hide your face in your hands, knowing that your cheeks are turning bright red - redder than the alcohol had already made it - little squeals escaping with every breath you take in.

“Stop bein’ s’ cute,” Harry giggles, his dimple etched deep in his cheek. He reaches out to you, his fingertips brushing against the backs of your hands. You pause for a moment, peeking through your fingers, and your laughter dissipates as you stare at one another.

“Your turn,” he whispers, the ghost of a smile still tracing the outlines of his mouth. “Wot’s somethin’ you’ve never tol’ me?”

“Childhood story?” 

“Doesn’ hav’ to be,” he shakes his head, grabbing the whiskey from the coffee table. After taking a sip, he rests it on his thigh. You focus on the bottle, trying to think of a story interesting enough to share.

“’m not actually a fan of pineapple on pizza,” you clench your teeth and wince. “Jus’ really, really don’ like confrontation, so I let you order it anyway.”

Harry laughs, causing the liquor in the bottle to slosh back and forth. “Really?” he asks incredulously. You nod, smirking. You’d do anything to please him, even if it does mean ordering fruit on pizza.

“Guess t’s m’ turn again,” he says, and if he’s offended by your confession, you can’t tell. “Well,” he begins without your prompting, “when I first left for X Factor, I cried ‘n called me mum e’ery night for the first month. Was so worried I’d made th’ wrong choice. Don’ cry anymore, though,” he shrugs in a way that makes you think he’s embarrassed.

“Oh,” you frown. “Tha’s so sad!”

The two of you sit in silence for a moment, looking straight forward. You’d guessed you’d never asked Harry how he dealt with his insta-fame, but you’d never really looked at Harry as famous. It was just who he was. You’d met him at the peak of One Direction insanity, but it was never something you’d really talked about. He was never Harry Styles, Rockstar when he was around you. He was Harry Styles, friend of a friend. Who was now your very own friend. You’d gotten incredibly close in a short amount of time - you were pulled to one another in a kinetic way. He’d go away for long bits of time, but he’d come back and it would be as if nothing changed. That was your relationship, and you were quite comfortable with it, thank you very much.

“Did you ever wish we could make out again?” you ask quietly. “Not as like…dunno…not like a couple or anythin’. But I kinda liked it when we kissed on m’ porch that night. Think about it a lot, actually. Think about you a lot.”

Harry looks at you and you’re unable to read his facial expression. Your heart starts to race, and you want to erase the past thirty seconds from your mind - from your entire world. You feel heavy next to him, like rocks were placed in your lungs and you’re sinking into the suede of the sofa. Your existence hangs in the balance between him and the bottle of whiskey, moving slowly like the air tends to do in the summertime.

“Ye’ think about me a lot?” his voice cracks under the blanket of alcohol he’s consumed.

You nod slowly and begin to bite the inside of your lower lip, a nervous habit you’ve never been able to shake. When Harry shifts so that he’s facing you, his green eyes deeper under the haze of your secret, you hope he can’t hear how fast your heart is beating.

Slowly, he moves his eyes away from yours, down to your lips, and back up again. You lean into him as he reaches his hand up, placing it on the side of your neck. When your lips touch for the first time in a month, your heart flutters inside of your chest and you would bet your life’s savings on fireworks exploding off in the distance.

But then again, it could’ve just been the whiskey.

[xottzot]

2017-12(DEC)-12th---Tuesday--morning of false calm. (and W.A. NEWS articles)

2017-12(DEC)-12th---Tuesday--morning of false calm.

Aboriginal toddlers-in-diapers roaming all about on their their own....AGAIN....as ALWAYS.

And just checking the West Australian online NEWS this morning brings up the following NEWS item which is VERY relevant especially for THIS hellhole and all the kids and abo kids and abo adult criminals who are literally taught to be shitheads of the drug addicts from toddler age onwards.

The photo used in the NEWS article is an absolutely generic one probably taken from a DVD database of purchased royalty paid or free images, so do NOT take the image or any in any NEWS items of what you see in any NEWS as being real unless it's of a specific thing.

BTW, that Western Australian (aka Perth) aboriginal kid who convicted of killing another aboriginal man with a knife, his sentencing is still to be revealed in the media suposedly after the deciding judge has weighed up other factors in the 'poor litle innocent darlings' life......such as....being born to be totally uncontrollable because he was the offspring of drunken/drugged up aboriginal addicts, specifically the mother. -- This condition is the 'get out of jail free' card used by criminal abo's, so do NOT be surprised when it'll be used (real or not) in his case and he'll get off free and laughing because its the constant excuse used by criminal aboriginals of all ages to do ANY crime whatsoever...even murder now it seems. The abo's figured THAT trick out a long time ago and use it ALL THE TIME now in any crime they are caught upon.

Anyway, here's that NEWS article from this morning...and NOT one word whatsoever of aboriginals at all is stated despite Western Australia being so VERY VERY swamped by crime and shit by aboriginals. It's a ploy often used in the media to totally exclude any mentioning of aboriginals. -- Let's see if all that shit holds up over the next month or two.......

And let's not ever forget that there ARE plenty of other non-abo criminals about too. Both prey upon each other as much as they do upon any innocents.

The NEWS article is almost as if they read the truth what I've always written, and they have read andor investigated the details and components of the criminal shit about this hellhole area to base their 'new important findings' upon.

The NEWS article....see how it makes things so much more credible when somebody ELSE states things doesn't it.

"....what we would call a criminogenic environment"

What is NOT stated in the article but which is so rampant in THIS hellhole, is how 'indulged' the abo criminals are by authorities, even to the point of the total exclusion of safety and wellbeing of all others who are innocent.

BTW, the pile of garbage and shit and the smashed remains of a metal clothesline outside Fatguts criminal housheold that the abos (even the criminal toddlers of course), were 'playing in' and throwing about because it's their 'natural environment'...well all that crap has mysteriously vanished overnight. Strange that eh?

Oh, one last thing about the NEWS article...it stated that "none of the children had a desire for violence".....well, THAT statement absolutely does NOT apply to ANY of the ones in and around this hellhole, NOT AT ALL.

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https://thewest.com.au/news/perth/perth-kids-as-young-as-10-learning-theft-from-family-edith-cowan-university-research-finds-ng-b88682954z

Perth kids as young as 10 learning theft from family Edith Cowan University research finds

EXCLUSIVE, Kate Emery

Tuesday, 12 December 2017 4:30AM

Perth criminals as young as 10 years old are being taught how to steal by family members and are growing up believing crime is a normal part of life, research has found.

Young offenders are also self-medicating with drugs and alcohol for anxiety and depression and to “forget their problems”.

An Edith Cowan University study of 87 children who passed through WA’s Children’s Court found more than one-third — 38 per cent — had a relative who was or had been in prison. And more than three-quarters — 77 per cent — had a family member who had experienced a brush with the law.

The most common age for a first burglary offence was 12. While money was the most commonly stolen item, 20 per cent stole food and 8 per cent took toys.

Researchers James McCue and Natalie Gately, whose interviews focused on burglary offences, said many of the children led disadvantaged and “chaotic” lives, which included violence at home and experience with the police from a young age.

“When we asked them about how they had learned to burgle, what a lot of them talked about is they had learned the skills of what to do from cousins, from uncles, from dad,” Dr McCue said.

“And they talked about some of the criminal activities that their parents or family members had been involved in, so it’s a world that becomes very normalised for them at a very young age.

“What our research shows is 38 per cent are growing up in what we would call a criminogenic environment, so you’ve got other family members that are committing crime and I think for those people it does normalise it.”

Most of the children were disengaged from school — with just over half having been suspended or expelled — and lacked supervision or structure at home. Just 16 per cent lived at home with both parents and 10 per cent were in foster care or child protection.

The majority of the burglaries occurred during the day and were opportunistic. “You’ve got these kids that are wandering around,” Dr McCue said. “They’ll knock on the door to see if anyone’s home and then they’ll check if there’s an alarm or a dog or ... neighbours and they’ll look through windows to see if there are any valuables.”

Dr Gately said none of the children had a desire for violence and would run if they were at risk of confrontation. The children, interviewed between January and June, were 84 per cent male and aged between 10 and 17.

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. .

And in another recent NEWS article below.....one of the the old tactics which results in so many who NEVER go to school but roam around and are criminal instead 100% of the time here......it gets done a LOT by criminal kids...but is kept quiet in any NEWS.....

The silence and total exclusion of all this going on all the time is deliberate. And it's kept that way deliberately using the excuse that 'they're minors'......and so can't be criminal? - What a joke.

. .

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WA teachers paid out $1m in compo claims for school assaults in 2017

http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/wa-teachers-paid-out-1m-in-compo-claims-for-school-assaults-in-2017-20171211-h02s3j.html

"More than 80 WA public school teachers have lodged compensation claims with the government's insurer in 2017 after falling victim to assault in the workplace."

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. . . . . . .

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I love you dear Fliss and want to be with you just you promised both of us, to be far far away from here and togther as a caring couple again, as we were for so many years togther. I hope your medical and other conditions are far better, the ones you keep secret from everyone, even trying to convince yourself. - The sole remaining chicken here this morning is your 'rescued chicken' as you termed it, and she is extremely distressed and wandering all about the chicken plot & shed looking for the one that died yesterday. It is alone and waiting to die. It keeps calling out for the other one and looking all about. I've been trying to make it as comfortable as possible to try to help her survive the damn intolerable HEAT. I'm drenched in sweat and need to shower. I am in a LOT of pain. - Poor Sam & poor Max are again already suffering from the heat. I love you dear Fliss and want to be with YOU just you promised yourself and I and YOU told me so.

P.S. To Cath in Queensland, compared to here at this hellhole, despite any problems in your life andor family , you Cath live in the absolute lap of luxury and safety, where you cannot comprehend anything of here at all. (the hell that is here was not always like this when Fliss was here.) - I wish you and Fliss and everyone a safe Xmas for you all, just as I have always done, but I have been thrown to the wolves and left to die alone. - Stay well Cath, you have seen what has happened with Fliss being unwell has done to dearest Fliss and myself, but at least you have each other, and I have nobody.

Nobody but the calling of nothing to be evermore dead and forever forgotten except by others lies.

I love you dear Fliss and want to be with you just you promised both of us.

[xottzot]

2017-11(NOV)-17th-before midday (news roundup).

2017-11(NOV)-17th-before midday (news roundup).

Still false calm.

---------------------------------

Still no rain.

And in case there's a thunderstorm that cuts out all my internet (which is currently going at a low sped of less than a snails pace who's limping along with a broken cane), I'll post this shit up now because I may have to shut down everthing and physically disconnect to stop any lightning strikes destroying my system, (which HAS happened before) and even if it doesn't actually result in any strike, the massive jumps in electricity voltages stuffs everything up. That's OUTSIDE of the usual daily voltage shit and power lines shit that decreses all household electrcial stuff in Western Australia more than it does anywere else in Australia.

Perhaps when I go outside I'll be stuck by lightning and killed. I can only hope so. Apparently Fliss would like that to happen to me. And lighning to hit and kill poor Sam & Max, killing us all, so she can continue upholding her lies to everyone and be lauded for it.

---------------------------------

Anyway.....heres' some shitty NEWS...........

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https://thewest.com.au/news/crime/men-charged-over-eight-months-of-slingshot-attacks-in-perth-that-saw-40-windows-smashed-ng-b88660550z

Two men have been charged over an eight-month spree of slingshot attacks in Perth that saw 40 windows smashed.

Between October 2016 and May of this year, police say damage to properties in the High Wycombe and Forrestfield areas resulted in 40 reports of projectiles being shot through windows.

BTW, the news often says "Perth" when it is NOWHERE near Perth city. Those locations in the NEWS item above are around here.

---------------------------

: : :

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http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-15/queensland-election-youth-detention-centres-lnp-promises/9153204

She also defended Labor's bail houses policy.

"The bail houses are for youths that are currently on bail and have nowhere to go," she said.

"They can not go home to their families because there may be domestic violence issues, there may be issues around drugs and alcohol.

"This is making sure they're supervised."

(COMING SOON TO YOU CATH NO DOUBT, THE CRIME MERRY-GO-ROUND SHIT THAT IS GOING ON HERE AT THIS HELLHOLE. AND YOU WILL BE UTTERLY POWERLESS TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.)

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: : :

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https://thewest.com.au/news/wa/perth-raids-net-33m-drug-haul-weapons-cash-ng-b88661321z

Police seized 32kg of methylamphetamine, 1.8kg of cocaine, 300g of MDMA, three firearms, ammunition and more than $800,000 in cash.

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: : :

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http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/major-drug-bust-more-than-30-kilos-of-ice-found-in-perth-raids-20171115-gzm3a2.html

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: : :

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http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-16/nt-royal-commission-youth-detention-child-protection-report-due/9152586

then later, the public relations version.....

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-16/former-nt-detainee-determined-to-show-young-offenders-change/9150332

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: : :

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Below....oh look, just like the school across the road from where the criminal abo's live in the ghetto but never go to but only raid it time and again.....

Vandals leave trail of destruction at school

https://thewest.com.au/news/great-southern-herald/vandals-leave-trail-of-destruction-at-school-ng-b88658586z

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I love you dear Fliss and want to be with you just as you promised us both. Keep drinking your alcohol now in huge amounts. Any amounts you want. I'm not with you to stop you from becoming a crazed alcoholic. The same stuff I got you away from and kept you sober and sane from. And which you were congratulated for by everyone congratulating YOU instead of me for greatly helping you do it all. But you'll never tell anyone about all that will you. Like you don't tell anyone else about all the rest. - I love you dear Fliss and want to be with you just as you promised us both.