#anyone includes myself bc ik if i put too much work into someone I'll absolutely get tired of at some point i will end up feeling robbed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

daz4i · 1 year ago

Text

need a boyfriend but also romance is disgusting but also I'm obsessed with it and want to feel it but also i don't want to commit or feel constricted by a limited relationship but also sometimes the idea of belonging to one person is nice but also no it doesn't i am a person not an object but also yes i am or at least i would be if i could but also i would never trust anyone enough for that but also i wish i could but also

#being arospec and having bpd sure is an interesting combo let me tell you that #sometimes i wonder if my identity in that regard is tied to my bpd. like the belief i won't be able to handle a relationship #bc i know no matter how well i could ever manage my symptoms it won't be enough to make me love someone enough for a steady relationship #so i just conditioned myself into not having romantic feelings in the first place. or something #i guess. i want the good parts of a relationship. but I'm not capable of handling the other parts #which is kinda sad bc i really do want the good parts. but i don't wanna hurt anyone and ik i would #anyone includes myself bc ik if i put too much work into someone I'll absolutely get tired of at some point i will end up feeling robbed #why am i even thinking abt this rn. idk i was perusing some tags and the romantic posts on them made me 😬#do i need to tag this as a vent. is it even a vent. ig? just not a negative one? eh jic then #vent #i should've been asleep an hour ago oof 😳

15 notes · View notes