#anyone have Opinions on this version of ch4 intro vs the other one? im genuinely uncertain and wouldn't mind outside input

[ilovedthestars]

I am abusing our friendship (affectionately) just to spam you with yet another ask game ask for 18. please imagine a little kid constantly putting quarters in the gumball machine bc they like the colors but it's me putting asks in your inbox bc your little deleted things are fun

[madjoy emoji] bardic i think you're really getting into the tumblr gremlin spirit. great job

(Fic writer asks)

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

Here's a bit from the end of Salvage or Repair. This is one of those moments where the characters wouldn't say that Out Loud, but it's the underlying sentiment that got revised into something that would make more natural dialogue:

“Tell me you didn’t come all this way just to be stuck here again. You shouldn’t have to die a pointless death here.” “Neither should you.”

Also, okay, just for Persistence you get one and a half answers for the price of one, because digging through the OUYU cuts folder again i found this longer alternate start to chapter 4:

The return to the deployment center is uneventful. I anticipate that due to this contract being cut short, I will be stuck in a cubicle for a long time awaiting my next assignment. Instead, I receive a new assignment 39 hours later. I am retrieved for inspection and deployment. I am the first to pass inspection, and I wait to be packed for transport as the other units are brought in one by one. When Unit 8891 is brought into the room, its eyes scan the row of waiting units until they catch mine. When the techs aren’t looking, it smiles.

and as much as i love the one-two punch of the end of chapter 3 leading into the start of chapter 4, i am........seriously considering editing the fic to put this back in because i genuinely like it a lot. maybe tomorrow stars will decide to go through with that and this will no longer be a Deleted Scene