#anymore it's exhausting and like she's always been there for me waiting for MONTHS

[chappellrroan]

i will sob omg

[ponderingmoonlight]

JJK men with a big-chested reader

Pairings: Nanami x reader; Geto x reader (nsfw); Yuji/Sukuna x reader; Gojo x reader

Word Count: 4,4k (she's big)

Warnings: THIS IS A FIC WITH A BIG-CHESTED READER! so if this triggers you, don't read it (especially in Sukuna's part, you might get triggered when having smaller boobs so just do me a favor and don't read it instead of leaving a sassy comment), boob play in Geto's part so nsfw, in general harassment but big old fluff from your faves, not proofread bc I have my final exam tomorrow - hope you enjoy! 🤍

Special thanks to one of my moots for letting me turn her cleavage into a cover for this fic - you look STUNNING + thank you to everyone who sent me their experiences for this!

Since I'm not big-chested myself, I'm calling all my big boobie girlies to leave me a lil review about this fic - it would literally help me so much 😭

Click here to get to the small-chested version

Nanami Kento

You sigh to yourself, too exhausted to even stand up straight anymore. Today was like a trip to hell and back. All those fucking curses, the death, the horror. You rub your tired eyes, the stinging pain in your back reminding you more than urgently that you have been up for way too long.

“You look tired, darling. Go change and get into bed with me.”

Oh, that deep voice behind you, the voice you learned to love to the moon and back. How did it even happen that a man like Nanami Kento was seeking interest in you? What was it that made a man like him even look your way? You’ve known each other for quite some time, seeing each other on missions from time to time. But when you began to work at Jujutsu High, everything changed so fast that you couldn’t keep up. And now you’re sitting here in his bedroom, watching in awe as he crawls into bed with nothing but his boxer shorts on.

You would love to get out of your uniform right now, But most importantly, you urge to take off that soaking wet bra that has been bugging you since afternoon. You have no choice, though. With a large chest like yours, it simply isn’t possible to leave the house for missions without extra support. You glance at him while he reads in his book, your gaze falling to your chest.

This isn’t exclusively about missions and you know it. Even though you’ve been together for a few months now, you were never brave enough to show Kento your breasts. Not without a bra, let alone completely naked. Just the thought of him seeing how your big breasts fall down when they slip out of their bra shells, the look on his face when he realizes that you don’t look like those large-chested models with their boobs standing like mountains. Yours definitely don’t. And you fucking hate it.

“I know that look on your face. You are uncomfortable, aren’t you?”

His soft voice rips you out of your pondering immediately. Fuck, he caught you again.

“No…I mean…Yes, kinda…”

You can’t lie into his gorgeous face, not even when the truth makes you feel so uncomfortable. Oh, how much you wished you look the way he deserves it with delicious female curves that suit his flawless appearance. But as soon as you look down, you just know how awful your boobs will look when set free. So you’ll do what you do every night: wait until Kento is asleep to finally take off your bra only to set an alarm in the morning to get up before him and put it back on.

“I always wondered why you are waiting until I sleep to take off your bra and put it back on before my alarm goes off.”

You can’t help but stare at him, mind racing while your palms start to get sweaty. Fuck, how did he even notice? No, why did you ever think he wouldn’t? Kento cares about you like none other, never pushed you to take off your shirt, never failed to ask you how you’re feeling.

“Listen, darling.”

He gets off the bed and kneels down in front of the chair you are sitting on, gently taking your hand into his.

“I just want to make sure you feel comfortable around me. Am I the reason that you don’t want to take your bra off? I can see clearly how uncomfortable it makes you feel.”

“No!”, you blurt out immediately.

Calm down your tingling nerves, this is ridiculous. You stare blankly at your hands intertwined with his.

“I mean…It has nothing to do with you, it’s me.”

“How is this about you, love? There is no reason for you to feel uncomfort-“

“I’m afraid.”

You swallow hard. Are you oversharing? Will he laugh at you for something so ridiculous? But what if he sees you naked at some point, his gaze dropping to your chest only to be greeted by your large hanging chest? You can imagine the look of disgust on his face, how he turns away from you, how-

“Hey, look at me darling. Look at me and tell me what’s wrong”

He cups your cheek gently, forces your haunted eyes to look at him, to stare into his orbs filled with sincerity. There is no way out of this, you can’t lie into his gorgeous face.

“When I take my bra of my breasts just…hang. It’s even visible through my t-shirt…”, you mumble, cheeks redder than the devil.

Thick silence hangs between both of you, his gaze still as soft as before. What is going on inside his head? Is he secretly laughing at you, does he even care about what you have to say?

“Let me make a few things clear.”

He lifts himself off the ground and pulls you up. You squint your eyes, mind racing over why on earth he made you stand up. Is he going to leave, to laugh?

“First of all: I love you just the way you are. I love your gorgeous smile, the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you carry yourself. And I love your breasts-“

“You didn’t even see them yet.”

“I don’t have to in order to know that”, he continues.

“Nothing makes me sadder than seeing you uncomfortable each and every night before going to bed. Of course, I don’t know for sure, but I imagine it to be really painful after some time. Isn’t it digging into your skin?”

Oh, you think about the countless times the sweat underneath your bra made you almost go insane, the red streaks that visibly show where the wire cut into your skin all day.

“It kinda is…”, you confirm with low voice.

“Don’t do this to yourself. I adore you just the way you are and I am dying to see you laying comfortably in your t-shirt next to me. So please, would you allow me to take it off for you?”

Your eyes widen in pure shock. Is this a bad joke, is he just teasing you? No, this is Nanami Kento. And the way he gazes at you with nothing but affection gleaming in his eyes tells you that he’s telling the true, that this is what he wants right now. But are you ready to expose yourself like this? What if he’s still disgusted after saying all those nice words?

You let your head fall against his chest, breathe in his delicious scent. A voice deep inside you tells you to stop, to just relax inside his arms. This is the man who chose you out of all people, who stood by your side no matter what. Kento proved more than once that he loves you dearly, never made you feel the slightest bit bad about yourself.

“Go ahead…”, you mutter against his chest.

His hands wander up your back gently, make shivers run down your spine until he reaches the clasp of your bra. Your heart simply stops when he unclips it through the fabric of your shirt. You fade into darkness as soon as his hands wander up to your shoulders, slide down the thick straps and pull down your bra until he finally lands on the floor.

Slowly, he takes a step back and picks it off the ground.

“You will never have to wear this again when you are home with me, okay? Not when it makes you feel so uncomfortable”, he gently speaks out.

You stare in awe while he carefully places your big bra over the chair and returns in an instant to pull you close against his chest.

“Come on, let’s go to sleep.”

“Yeah”, you mumble, body slowly but surely getting flooded by warmth.

“Going to bed sounds good…”

Geto Suguru

You feel hot but at the same time cold, turned on but at the same time scared. This is it, the moment you’ve been waiting for. At this very moment, none other than Suguru Geto is laying on top of you, kissing you so passionately that you forget how to breathe.

What an overwhelming feeling it is to call him your boyfriend for a few months now. Such a kind and loving man, always looking out for you, giving you the time you needed for this to finally happen. You couldn’t believe your own ears when whimpering that you want him, that you are ready.

But are you really ready for showing him that part of your body? The part that began too grow way too early in your life, the part you’ve always got picked on by all the other girls.

“Look, there she is! She looks like a cow ready to milk!”

“That cleavage…She’s literally begging for it, what a bitch.”

“Ew, are those pimples on your tits?”

You know you are better than that, that your big breasts just belong to you and that you should love yourself just the way you are. But with none other than Suguru laying on top of you, his hands slowly but surely coming dangerously close to your breasts…

“Wait”, you breathe out, haunted eyes making Suguru stop in his tracks in an instant.

“Did I do something wrong? If you don’t want to, we don’t-“

“No, this is great. I- … I waited so long for this. But I just wanted to let you know that…”

You swallow hard. Are you acting ridiculous, destroying the moment with your behaviour? Suguru’s chocolate brown orbs don’t show a hint of annoyance. Instead, he gently strokes your hair while waiting for you to move on.

He deserves to know it

“I might not have the nicest boobs. They are big, but not well formed like the ones of those models. I tend to sweat a lot underneath them, my skin breaks out from time to time and my nipples might be-“

“Stop that right now, (y/n).”, Suguru gently interrupts you with a grin.

But it doesn’t look like the grin of the girls who picked on you for years. No, this grin is filled with warmth and loves, fills you with what feels like confidence. After all, he said that he loves you just the way you are over and over, right? Still, he didn’t even see your boobs. What if he changes his mind?

“There is absolutely nothing, and I mean NOTHING about you that isn’t ‘nice’. I don’t care about what the chest of random models looks like, to be honest I don’t care about anyone but you. And you are everything I want, you are everything I see, you are everything I love.”

His words make you tear up in an instant, send your whole body into space. As long as you can remember, no one ever said really nice things about your breasts and therefore you. You were either insulted or sexualized. But that force of a man on top of you…He just looks into your eyes that are filled with nothing but warmth. This man means every word he says.

“Well, that’s cool”, you mutter without even thinking about your words, lost in the sheer sight of his sincere eyes.

There is no one in the world you want to show your boobs more. Like in trance, you pull up the hem of your shirt and let it fall to the floor mindlessly.

“Are you okay with me touching them?”, he purrs against your ear.

A silent whimper escapes your lips while you simply nod, whole body on fire where it touches his. Painfully slow, he lets his hands wander down your hair onto your shoulders, trace the line of your collarbones until he reaches…

Your breasts.

What an unknown feeling. But oh, what a sensation as well. You arch your back out of instinct while he massages your breasts, the feeling of his fingertips against your still skin alone simply driving you insane.

God, who would have thought you’d ever hear Geto Suguru moan against your ear by just looking, touching, squeezing your boobs? His eyes are darkened by lust, the way his heart pounds against his ribcage echoes through your very own body.

“You look absolutely gorgeous. I can’t stop looking at you, (y/n).”

You feel like flying, fainting, losing your balance. There is no doubt in the fact that this man adores you the way you are, that your constant fear of him not liking your large chest was more than unfounded.

“So…you don’t mind the way my breasts look?”, you whimper underneath his bittersweet touch.

“More than that, I adore you”, he replies in an instant. “And now, let me see you in your full glory.”

Yuji/Sukuna

You’re back feels like it might break every minute, shirt dripping in sweat in the sheer heat of the summer sun. You just want to get out of here, away from those disgusting people, back into your dorm. How stupid it was to leave Jujutsu High on your own for a little stroll through the city. Without the protection of Maki or Nobara, without any good friend who shields you from all the unwanted looks your large chest attracts. While most people think it must be a blessing, it definitely is a curse to you 80% of the time.

Just like right now.

“Come on, I just asked for one grab!”, a guy shouts after you.

Out of instinct, you pick up your pace, not even daring to turn around. What did you even do to catch his attention? You gaze down at your breasts that uncomfortably bounce up and down in the way too tight bra you are wearing today. No, you did absolutely nothing wrong. It’s just these disgusting people who seem to see nothing but the size of your chest.

“Why would you want to touch her? She looks like a cow”, the girl next to him comments along with an ugly laugh, making your heart sting in an instant.

“What a slut”, another voice mutters.

“Oh, I didn’t know you are out today! How are you, (y/n)?”

Your heart almost stops inside of your chest, hands beginning to tremble in an instant. No, not him. Not right here when these people are chasing you. If there’s someone you don’t want to hear those things about you, it’s Yuji Itadori.

“J-just…l-leave”, you stutter.

“Huh? But I just met you! Would you like to watch a movie with me?”

“Look, the cow brought her friends!”

“Do you think he’ll get in her pants today?”

“What a lucky bastard, I’d love to touch them just once…”

Yuji’s face drops in an instant when realizing their words are directed towards you.

“Hey, there’s no need to be rude”, he begins but gets stopped by uncontrollable laughter immediately.

You want to die right here on the spot, disappear from the surface of earth. As if being treated like this wasn’t enough, why does it have to be Yuji who witnesses it all?

“Step aside, loser. Let me handle that.”

Sukuna leans forward in his throne, thick anger rising inside of his chest. You, the one who caught his eye when he first saw you. You, with the immense powers. You, with a dangerous mind that could end wars. Who are these people to talk to you in this manner?

“Are you crazy? I definitely won’t let you out right now”, Yuji replies in an instant.

“You aren’t able to help her brat, now get lost!”

“I won’t let you-“

Enough.

“Now who exactly do you losers think you are, huh?”

That voice, that aura? Your mouth feels dry like the desert in an instant, eyes widen in pure shock. No, this is impossible, Yuji is in control over his body, this can’t be-

“With tits like yours, I would be jealous of someone gorgeous like her as well”, he spits at one of the girls following you.

“And you.”

With a swift motion, he grabs on of the guy’s wrists roughly. Just a little more pressure and it will snap.

“P-please. Don’t!”, you shout after him.

Urgh, why does your begging voice make his grip loosen in an instant, what is it about you that made him switch with this brat anyway?

“Were you really just trying to touch her chest? Thinking just because she has a big chest, you are allowed to touch her, to sexualize her, huh? You humans disgust me with your simple desires”, Sukuna continues.

“If it wasn’t for her unshakable character, I would kill every single one of you right on the spot. But for now-“

In the matter of seconds, all their arms hang in unhealthy directions, visibly broken by the sheer force of none other than Ryomen Sukuna.

You want to scream at him, want to run away, want to get away from this place. But on the other hand, a warmth fills your chest. Did the king of curses just stand up for you, protect you from their rude comments?

“Get going”, he barks at you.

“This was unnecessary”, you mumble.

“And give Yuji back.”

“You should be thankful, (y/n). They will worship you for the rest of your life.”

“No, they will be scared of you for the rest of their lives”, you clarify, hands still trembling.

“So what? Nobody gets away with insulting you over your perfect body. Especially not over the size of your chest. How ridiculous…”

You can’t believe your ears, eyes darting towards him in an instant while you turn redder than a tomato. Did he just say that you are…perfect?

“You didn’t mean that”, you breathe out.

“Oh god I’m so sorry (y/n). Did he hurt you?”, the familiar voice of Yuji cries out.

Calm down your tingling nerves, your pounding heart. Sukuna’s gone. Sukuna…stood up for you. Sukuna said you have a perfect body.

What?

“N-No”, you stumble.

How are you supposed to get over this?

Gojo Satoru

Finally. You sit in front of the bar, excited by the smell of alcohol and cheap perfume that hangs in the air. After working your ass off for what felt like an eternity, you decided to use your day off right. You put on the dress that fits you best, packed your purse and went into the first bar you’ve seen.

Damn, when was the last time you were out on your own? With all your friends being out of town for vacation, this definitely is new.

“Not bad”, you mutter to yourself, eyes roaming around people making out, heartfelt laughter and a group of women sipping on their cocktails.

A cocktail, exactly what you need today.

“Hey, I’d love to order something”, you speak out when the waiter finally comes cross you.

What a lucky day, they even have your favourite cocktail in store. You’re usually not the type of girl to go out on yourself, but these last months, you truly learnt how enjoyable time can be with yourself as your only company. You smile to yourself. Yeah, this is definitely something you could get used to.

“There you go”, the friendly male announces and places the glass filled with joy in front of your hungry eyes.

You gift him the sweetest smile you have before taking a sip. Oh, this tastes absolutely amazing.

“I’ve never seen a woman like you alone in a place like this.”

Your heart drops to the floor in an instant, hands holding onto your glass tightly. Ew, a man is certainly the last thing you want to hear right now with the bartender being the only exception. Instead of even looking his way, you just take another sip of your well-mixed cocktail, the music blasting out of the boxes might make him think you can’t hear him and leave.

Honestly, there aren’t many things that creep you out more than men approaching you. Since you’ve reached puberty and your breasts starting to grow bigger and bigger, it almost felt as if you weren’t a person anymore. With rare exceptions here and there, most of them only talked to you because of one thing:

Your boobs.

Is the man sitting next to you one of them?

“Hey, I’m talking to you, gorgeous.”

Your whole body tenses up in an instant, eyes darting towards him by the sound of his harsh voice.

“Excuse me, I’m not up for a talk”, you bite back.

While you did meet genuinely nice men and have some male friends, the one sitting next to you certainly is one of the other categories. God, how much you hate it, being looked down at and reduced to the size of your breasts. You can’t even count how many times you’ve got commented on them, how many men and women just shamelessly stared at your bust instead of your face while talking to you. It’s safe to say you have enough of all of this.

“A woman who presents what she has like that is up for a talk and far more than that. Why would you come here dressed like a slut if you don’t want me to talk to you?”

Your breath gets stuck in your throat, all thoughts vanish into thick air. This disgusting guy with his beard filled with crumbs and breath stinking like the cheapest beer is definitely up for no good. You, dressed like a slut? You wear a basic black dress, the only one your boobs didn’t fall out when trying it on. What the hell is this creep talking about?

“Just because my boobs are big doesn’t mean I’m a slut. Watch how you talk to me”, you bite back.

“I talk however I want to a bitch like you. Are you up to go somewhere more…private?”

The scene that lays itself out in front of Gojo’s eyes is hard to bear. He doesn’t even know the woman in the black dress sitting in front of the bar, let alone the guy sitting next to her. But just one look into your disgusted face is enough to know that something isn’t right. How you cross your arms in front of your chest, your eyes filled with horror, the way you scoop backwards with every word this man says. Are you okay? He shouldn’t let other people’s business bother him. Fuck, wasn’t he here to get his mind off saving everyone all the time? Nah, he should enjoy his evening, drink that new whiskey they offer, just relax and-

You aren’t even able to comprehend what is happening next to you. He stretches out his hand, ready to touch your breasts without consent when another pair of hands stops him mid-air.

“I think the lady said no. Don’t ya think it’s a little over the top to go into a bar and touch a woman’s boobs?”

His voice might sound playful, but your blood freezes inside of your veins by the power he radiates. Just one glance into his face tells you he is like no men you’ve ever met.

“I…She…She said she wanted it to!”, the crumble beard tries to defend himself.

“I said what? Are you out of your fucking mind!? I told you to leave me alone and you harassed me!”, you clarify in harsh tone.

Oh, how much you’d love to break his nose right now, to give him a taste of his own medicine. But the white-haired man seems to have the same plans.

“A guy like you wouldn’t end up with her anyway. That lady has class. And you, my friend, are just a disgusting pervert. Are you touching other women too without consent? Isn’t your first time, huh?”

With a swift motion, he begins to twist the man’s hand around itself. He whines out in pain in an instant, face twisted just like yours before when he talked you down.

“Let me go!”, he cries out in visible discomfort.

“This is what you get for treating a lady so badly. You can be glad she even looked your way.”

When he gifts you a sly grin, you can’t help but blush. What is it about this man that feels so different, so damn inviting? He seems like no other men you’ve met before. And the fact that he just called you lady…Why do your knees suddenly feel weak?

“Now repeat after me: I.am.sorry.for.disrespecting.you.”

“I will not apologize to a girl who’s dressed like a slut!”

A loud crack makes the already muted room go completely silent, the violent scream coming out of this man’s mouth when his wrist breaks like spaghetti echoing through the room.

“Wrong answer”, the white-haired man purrs.

“Hey, would you mind just taking the trash out?”, the barkeeper questions.

“Did you hear that, dirty boy? Let me show you the way!”

“Are you alright? I didn’t even notice he was harassing you. I’m so sorry”, the bartender speaks out towards you.

“Oh, it’s okay.”

You aren’t even able to give him a real answer, eyes glued on the white-haired man who carries your harasser out like trash.

Like in trance you get back on your feet and follow him out into the cool air of the night.

“Have a nice evening!”, he friendly shouts after the man who sprints down the streets like a coward, as fast away as possible.

“You definitely scared the shit out of him”, you comment.

“He definitely deserved it. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m used to shit like that”, you reply with a huff.

“But normally, they aren’t this disgusting.”

“I hate to hear that. You seem like a genuinely badass and nice person. You didn’t deserve his words.”

“Not as nice as my knight in shining armour who stopped him from touching my boobs.”

He lets out a heartfelt laughter, bright blue orbs set on you.

“Hey, what about me escorting you back home? I’m totally in the mood to beat up any other men who gets in your way.”

“Only if you let me join, though”, you challenge him.

“Definitely a deal. Hey, what’s your name?”

“(y/n)”

“(y/n), huh? Cool name, suits you right? My name’s Gojo Satoru. Nice to meet you.”

He stretches out his hand in front of you, inviting you to take it. You can’t help but smile at his sheer excitement. No, you just have to take his warm hand into yours and shake it.

“Let’s get you home, okay?”

Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz@darkstarlight82 @satoreo @luwumii @kentocalls @cheesemachine44 @maya-maya-56 @jinririz @getou0309 @ieathairs

Dividers by @saradika 🤍

[inkskinned]

i'm used to it, and how bad it is, and how often it's so bad that it rings like a bell inside of me, drowning out everything around me. and the truth is that i get frustrated with myself about it - again? we're like this still? again? it's not that i feel weak, precisely. it's just this sense almost like - i've already been pushing against this thing for years now, shouldn't i have gained more ground?

i get frustrated because i'm sick of picking up the loose ends every six months. i get frustrated because it's always this same shit, same problem - i lose myself in a matter of months; spiral out of control, lose touch with friends and loved ones. i stop taking care of myself and therapy gets hard and i let everything around me wilt and shrivel and fall off; start somehow both sleeping too much and not-enough. i panic-attack and cry in my car in a target parking lot, pulling my hair out and hurting my ribs from sobbing so hard - and later, when i'm better, i'm embarrassed because how could i let it get that far?

it feels like - i already have done this so many times. isn't there a way out of it? isn't there a point where i've just... won? that it never happens again, that i just get to be done? maybe this is weakness, i guess - that i still (so often!) succumb.

i am used to it, so i forget exactly how hard it gets. do you even know how many times i've laid in bed, exhausted, blank and numb and listless and said - i can't anymore. i just can't. i'm not even really upset. it's okay. i've been here long enough. so much of my life was beautiful.... i'm just... done.

do you know how many times i woke up and i said - i can't and put my feet on the floor and said i can't, i don't want to and took a shower and walked the dog and bought myself fresh bread and put a nice playlist on and said i really can't, there's no end to this and i went to work and i called a friend and i made myself cookies even if food tasted like ashes and decided that i really should wait for the new album from that artist i love and i thought i can't, it's not worth it and then i washed my hands and cut my hair and drank more water and wrote a poem and signed up for an art class at the local community college and said i can't, i can't, i won't do this again, and i paid my rent and let the dishes rot in the sink but still made myself eat anything fresh even if it meant overdrawing my account on a stupid bag of plums just because they looked delicious and do you know how often i closed my eyes and thought this is it i really fucking can't, something has to give and i have nothing left that it can take and then i went to bed and i got up and i fucking survived anyway

yesterday the local ice cream place opened up for the first time this season and they were giving out tiny samples of their new dairy-free options and i tried a mango sorbet. three months ago i was positive that februrary was going to be my last month on the planet. i am teaching my dog a new trick and i just discovered a new band i love. i got a plant from the clearance aisle and repotted her and she's been perking up. i made salmon for alison and we ate it in her new house with her new beautiful baby girl. my manager told me he keeps recommending my work to others just because i always include a stupid number of puns. tomorrow i'm trying a new dance class. tomorrow i'm maybe going to buy more plums.

i forget, you know? it's not some bone-deep strength or some magical power. it's that some part of me knows - i need to stay. in all of this; out of all of this - i just want to choose love.

[httpsdana]

Hiiii!!! can you write a jamal story with promt 107 where they're having an argument (he's at fault 🤭) with like HEAVY angst where jamal is lowkey being a meanie and not trying to understand readers side but ends in the cutest fluff tho (cuz can't accept sad endings 😭)

Btw FREAKING INLOVEE WITH UR WRITING UR LITERALLY SAVING THE JAMAL GIRLIES I SWEAR!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻💗💗

Also thank you in advance!!!!! 😽🩷🤍

Lost In Translation~Jamal Musiala

THANK YOU SM FOR UR SWEET MESSAGE. i hope u enjoy this one 😙🫶🏻

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players/drivers I write for

107-"please stop. you're scaring me."

She felt it from the start of the season. Jamal had said he was going to give his best this season and push himself to his limits. He promised to avoid any distractions and focus solely on football, fully committing himself. What she didn’t expect was for him to avoid her too. It made her feel like she was the distraction, rather than the support he needed.

y/n woke up every morning without Jamal by her side. Every day, she rushed to the kitchen, hoping to see him and wish him a good day.

All she wanted was to hear those three words she felt like she hadn’t heard in forever. But every morning, she was disappointed to find that he had already left without even a "good morning."

When she returned from work, Jamal still wouldn’t be home. She knew his training sessions were intense, but she also knew he couldn’t possibly be training from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.

She made him dinner every night, hoping they could share a moment together when he came home exhausted from practice. Instead, he’d arrive late at night, claiming he had been at the gym after training.

He no longer wrapped his arms around her at night. He hadn’t touched or kissed her in over two months. It felt like she was invisible to him, and she couldn’t take it anymore. She had to tell him how she felt, or she would have no choice but to let him go.

y/n sat in their living room, waiting for Jamal to come home. It was 10 p.m. After what felt like 100 episodes of her show, she finally heard his keys and the door opening. She remained seated on the couch, waiting for him. He walked into the living room, seeing her sitting there, watching TV.

“Hey,” he mumbled, dropping his bag on the couch and sitting down, keeping his distance from her.

She wanted to ask him about his day. She wanted to ask how he was feeling about the start of the season, especially given his incredible performance. But she didn’t. She just wanted to know what was going on and why he was avoiding her.

“We need to talk,” she said, looking at him intently, her voice blank and direct.

Jamal sighed, running his hands over his face, exhaustion clear in his features. “y/n, I’m tired. I just want to shower and go to sleep,” he said, already standing up to leave the room.

That’s what he always did, avoiding any conversation with her.

“No, Jamal. You’re not running away this time. We need to have a serious conversation, and you need to listen to me for once,” she said, standing up too, her voice tense with all the frustration she had been holding inside for so long.

He turned around, surprised by her outburst but clearly annoyed that he was going to have to talk. “What is it now?” he said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice weak and hurt.

“What do you mean, what’s wrong? You’re the one who said we need to talk, and now you’re asking me what’s wrong?” he snapped, his voice getting louder with each word.

“What’s wrong with us? What happened? Did I do something to upset you? Why are you avoiding me and acting like I don’t even exist in this house?” she said, her voice trembling as she fought back tears.

“Oh my god. You’re always so needy, constantly craving attention. I can’t have you clinging onto me all day, y/n. I come home every night exhausted, and all I want is to sleep. But you’re there, nagging me because you can’t survive without attention. What am I supposed to do?” he shouted bitterly, stepping closer to her.

“I’m not asking for anything crazy! Just acknowledge me. Say good morning, make me coffee before you leave, tell me you love me at least!” she yelled back, her hands dropping to her sides in defeat.

Jamal was fuming, his face red with anger. She had never seen him like this before, and it scared her. He paced around the room, his steps heavy, before kicking a vase, shattering it to pieces. y/n flinched at the sound, stepping back slightly as Jamal moved closer.

“Please stop. You’re scaring me” she whispered as he stood in front of her, his face inches from hers. It was the closest he had been to her in weeks. She could feel the heat radiating from him, but his cold expression sent chills down her spine.

Jamal didn’t seem to hear her or care. Instead, he continued hurling hurtful words.

“I come home to rest. I don’t need anyone ruining my mood before I leave for training. I don’t need anyone distracting me from having my best season. So stop with the attention-seeking and deal with it. It’s not like I’m treating you as if you’re dead,” he spat, his words cutting deep into Y/N’s heart like knives.

She fought back the tears that threatened to fall, refusing to let him see her break.

“But you are, Jamal! You don’t look at me anymore. You don’t remember anything. You’ve forgotten our date nights, and we haven’t had a Sunday date in weeks. Sunday is your rest day, but instead of spending it with me, you choose to hang out with your friends, friends you see every day at training. Why can’t you acknowledge your girlfriend, who’s doing her best to stay calm and deal with the consequences of dating a footballer?” she cried, finally letting out all the words she had been holding inside for months.

“For fuck’s sake. You just don’t get it, do you? I’m going to shower and then go to sleep. I better not hear about this childish problem you’ve made up in your head again,” he said coldly, leaving the room and heading to their bedroom.

y/n collapsed on the couch, the tears she had been holding back finally breaking free. She pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed into them, her heart aching.

She didn’t understand how Jamal had changed so much, why he had become like this. They had been dating for years, and every year he wanted to have a great season, but this was the first time he had acted this way. She felt their relationship slipping through her fingers, and she didn’t have the strength to fight anymore.

After crying for a while, exhaustion overtook her, and she wanted to sleep. But she couldn’t bring herself to sleep next to Jamal after the hurtful things he had said. She began walking to the guest room when she heard his voice behind her.

“Where are you going?” he asked, making her turn to look at him. He stood there shirtless, fresh from the shower, his hair still wet and dressed in the shorts he always wore to bed.

“To sleep in the guest room,” she replied, turning away.

“Fine, be like that,” he scoffed, and she heard the bedroom door slam behind her.

She sighed and entered the cold, empty guest room, with only a bed in the middle. Lying down, she felt as though she were on a rock.

She closed her eyes, hoping for some rest, but after tossing and turning for hours, she gave up. She sat up, running a hand over her face, wondering if Jamal was struggling to sleep too.

A part of her hoped he was awake, thinking about her, just as she was about him. But she knew he was probably fast asleep, after using "needing sleep" as an excuse to avoid their argument.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door creaking open. She looked up and saw Jamal peeking his head in to see if she was asleep. When he saw her sitting up, he entered the room slowly, standing awkwardly by the door.

“Can I... sleep next to you?” he asked nervously, avoiding her gaze and looking at the floor. When she didn’t reply, he looked up, seeing the hesitation in her eyes.

“I won’t touch you or anything. I’ll stay as far as I can,” he pleaded, his eyes begging for some rest.

y/n thought about it. She couldn’t sleep without him next to her either. “Please,” he said softly, and she finally gave in, nodding her head and moving to the far side of the bed, turning her back to him.

She felt the bed dip as Jamal lay down next to her. Even with the distance, she could feel the warmth of his body close to hers. y/n closed her eyes, hoping to finally get some sleep. As she drifted off, she felt his arm drape over her body, a small smile forming on her lips as she welcomed his warmth. She knew they would need to talk about their fight in the morning, but for now, they could rest.

Next morning, y/n had woken up by the sun that was shining in the guest room. She turned around, hoping Jamal was still next to her, but as usual, he had already left the room.

She let out a sigh, knowing he probably left to training too. She hoped he would stay and explain his hurtful words, but it seemed as if nothing happen to him last night. y/n entered the bathroom, washing her face and brushing her teeth, before going to the kitchen.

She was surprised when she saw Jamal there, his shirtless back to her as he was making breakfast. When he noticed her, he smiled at her, making her more confused. "good morning darling. I made you coffee" he pointed to the cup of coffee that was next to the coffee machine.

Jamal moves quietly around the kitchen, the sound of eggs sizzling and toast popping up from the toaster filling the silence. y/n sat on the counter, the cup of coffee next to her, arms folded, watching him, her heart heavy with the weight of the argument that’s still fresh in her mind.

He seems to be gathering his thoughts, carefully plating the breakfast before he turns to her, his expression soft but full of regret.

“I’m really sorry,” he starts, his voice low, almost hesitant.

“I’ve been thinking about everything, and I know I shouldn’t be trying to explain why I acted the way I did, because none of it excuses what I said or how I treated you. It was wrong, and I wasn’t supposed to do any of that.” He takes a deep breath, looking down at the floor before meeting your eyes again.

“But with the new coach and the new season, there’s been so much pressure. The coach has been really strict about us not getting distracted, and I... I let that get into my head.” he said, his voice weak and unstable.

y/n doesn’t respond right away, waiting for him to continue, her gaze steady as she takes in his words.

"I thought that maybe you were a distraction," he says, shaking his head at himself.

"But that was so wrong of me. All you’ve ever done is support me. You’ve been there through everything, my ups and downs, every game, every challenge, and instead of seeing that, I pushed you away. I don’t even know why I said the things I did... I just... I took my stress out on you, and I’m so sorry for that. I know it hurt you, and I regret it more than I can say.” he stuttered, seeming nervous

Her chest tightens, emotions swirling inside her as she thinks back to how hurt she felt. But she remains silent, waiting for him to finish.

“I shouldn’t have acted like football was more important than you," he continues, stepping closer.

"Because it’s not. You’re so important to me. Honestly, most of my success, it’s because of you. You keep me grounded, and your support means everything. It’s not just my talent that’s gotten me where I am, it’s you. And I was stupid for not seeing that." he said confidently, stepping closer to her

He looks at her, his eyes full of sincerity, waiting for some kind of response. She hesitates, his words slowly sinking in.

"You really hurt me, Jamal," she says softly. "It wasn’t just about football. It was about how you made me feel like I wasn’t enough, like I was in the way." she said, her voice filled with pain.

He nods, a look of guilt flashing across his face.

"I know, and I’m going to spend every day trying to make up for it. I want to fix this. I don’t want you to ever feel that way again." he said honestly

There’s a pause before he speaks again, his voice even softer.

"I took the day off today. I thought maybe we could go for a walk, spend some time together, and get some ice cream, if you want? I just... I want to make it up to you." he hesitated, waiting for her to speak

She tries to hide the small smile tugging at her lips.

"You got me with the ice cream. I can’t say no to free ice cream." she jokes

He chuckles, though there’s still a seriousness in his gaze.

"I really am sorry. I swear to you, nothing like that will ever happen again. Football’s important, but so are you. More than that, you’re more important." he said, grabbing her hands in his

"i believe you Jamal. I hope you don't break your promise this time" she said, giving him a small smile.

He smiled back, squeezing her hands in his.

"you won't regret it i promise" he said

After breakfast, they walk side by side, hand in hand, talking and catching up on everything that’s happened since the argument.

Slowly, the tension between them begins to ease. As they sit on a park bench, ice creams in hand, y/n leans her head on his shoulder, the warmth of the moment filling the space between them.

"I missed this," she says softly, closing her eyes as she let the comfort of his presence wash over her.

"I missed it too," he murmurs, placing a gentle kiss on her head before resting his against hers.

Everything was fine now.

[moonstruckme]

could i request Scamander!Reader x Remus Lupin? Maybe they have been going on dates for a few months but turns out she knew he was a werewolf? She just didn't say anything cause she wanted to wait for him to tell her, but after a full moon, Remus got hurt like really really bad so when he wakes up the next morning he is at nursing and the reader is helping with his wounds (cause she's an scamander so she obviously should now how to fix werewolfs wounds fr)

and remus kinda freaks out because she isn't supposed to be there and starts trying to make excuses about his wounds

Thanks for requesting! I'm not a Scamander myself hehe so I had to look up some werewolf stuff but I hope this is alright :)

Remus Lupin x Scamander!reader ♡ 653 words

Remus wakes feeling like he always does after a full moon: exhausted, groggy, and so, so sore. From the brightness against his eyelids and the sounds around him, he knows he's in the infirmary. It's not uncommon, and as humiliating as the whole ordeal can be, he's glad to have Madam Pomfrey to care for him as he heals from the previous night's...events.

But when he opens his eyes, it's not Madam Pomfrey that sits at his bedside, applying some sort of paste to the gouge across his ribcage.

He must inhale or twitch in his surprise, because your attention turns to his face, your hands stilling.

"You're awake," you say, looking at Remus with eyes full of kindness and sympathy. He feels like he might vomit. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," he says, too sharply, and hurt flashes across your features. Remus' heart is pounding, but he forces himself to take a breath, muzzling his panic. Still, his voice trembles slightly as he asks, "Y/N, love, what are you doing here?"

You smile softly, and Remus knows he's forgiven. "I knew there was some dittany in the greenhouse, so I thought I'd bring some to help heal you."

"I..." Why weren't you asking more questions? You and Remus had only been dating for a few months, and you'd yet to see him in the aftermath of a transformation. He hadn't had to lie to you yet, to make up excuses for why he missed days of class every month and reappeared with new scars. "I was out with Sirius and James last night, and we got fairly wasted." He forces what he hopes is a sheepish grin, though it doesn't feel very convincing. "I took a tumble down a hill, and well..." he gestures to his torn-up torso, shrugging as if it's just further evidence of he and his friends' foolishness.

"Remus," you say, and the nausea is back, your tone far too knowing for Remus' liking, "honey, it's okay. I wanted you to be able to tell me in your own time, but after last night..." You pause, your face pinching in distress as your eyes run over his wounds, ugly and oozing. "I couldn't just not help anymore. I'm sorry."

Remus' stomach is really roiling now, his entire body caught between fight and flight as he reckons with the shock of your admission and his bafflement at your composure. "You knew?" His voice comes out accusatory, but he can hardly muster the energy to correct it. "For how long?"

"I mean, it took me a couple weeks of getting to know you to figure it out." You shrug, going back to gently pressing the dittany to his wounds. "But really, Remus, it doesn't matter to me. I only care about being able to be there for you, to help."

A couple weeks, it'd taken you to learn his secret. So you'd known for months, while Remus had fretted over hiding his headaches from you and worrying that you'd eventually see him just like this, and now here you were. Remus takes a moment to look at you, the tenderness with which you touch him, careful to avoid hurting him further, the patience in your eyes as you wait for his response.

"You really aren't afraid?" he asks. Despite years of sharing all of himself with James and Sirius, Remus finds himself nearly unable to trust it. "Disgusted? Angry with me?"

The look you give him borders on offence, though there's still that same gentle sympathy in your eyes. "Merlin, Remus, of course not. I know it can't be easy for you, and I wouldn't expect you to tell me before you're ready. It's just...another part of you." You smile a bit, and Remus can't help but return it, bewildered and feeling very much on the precipice of falling in love. "And I like all of you, so there."

[iamtired10]

once upon a sleepless night

pairing: pham hanni x fem! reader

genre: pure fluff.

warning: mention of mother insomnia and kissing.

SUMMARY: it’s one of those sleepless nights again. you’re restless, mind racing, but hanni, even though she’s exhausted from her long day, decides to tell you a whimsical fairytale to help lull you into dreamland.

you sighed as you leaned back in your chair, stretching your arms and glancing at the clock on your desk. 9:53 a.m...

“i’ve been at this for four hours straight.. still tired but not sleepy,” you muttered, rubbing your forehead as a persistent ache throbbed. regretting the 7 cups of coffee you’d downed today, you wondered what you could do. you always felt drowsy in class and needed the caffeine to stay awake.

rising from your chair, you decided a break was in order. grabbing your phone and a lollipop from the desk (a sweet gift from your best friend’s sister while you were hanging out), you settled on the couch. you turned on the tv and started scrolling through your phone.

absentmindedly munching on the lollipop, you browsed instagram, checking out the latest posts from newjeans.

**buzz! buzz!!**

a notification popped up, jolting you from your scrolling.

pham honey:

hey there, gorgeous..

the love of my life..

do you need me to bring you anything before i arrive?

your eyes widened in surprise. you paused your lollipop mid-chew, reading hanni’s message over and over.

“wait—what does she mean by 'she’s coming'?” you wondered aloud, trying to recall if she’d mentioned a visit today. nothing came to mind. she’d been swamped with idol commitments, and it had been a month since you last saw her. newjeans had just had their comeback, and they were buried in work—stages, photoshoots, and all the usual idol grind.

and you missed her. a lot.

her hugs, her kisses, her voice, her smile, her playful teasing, her jokes—everything.

you quickly tapped out a response, your excitement evident.

you:

wait you’re coming over? 

omg, you could’ve given me a heads up! 

i didn’t clean my room today 🙂💔 

and all i need right now is 

you ❤️ 

come back soon 

our plants miss you so much 

i mean, our ‘kids’ 

simpsona smith 

and flex armstrong

pham honey:

hehe i wanted to surprise you 🤭 

i’ve got a day off tomorrow

so manager unnie finally gave me the go-ahead to visit you.. yay! 

what did you mean by ‘you need me’ though? 😏 

care to explain? 😜 

and i MISS our ‘kids’ so much 😭 

have they grown up at all? 🥺 

i’m going to shower them with water and love when i get there 🤭

you:

well it’s not a surprise anymore😕

when i said i need you, i meant that i miss you so much, you silly bunny

you’re the only one who completes me

honestly i can't even put into words how much i miss you

could you hurry up a bit

so i can finally give you that big hug?

pretty please 🙏🏻

pham honey:

ooh~ 😏

someone seems extra needy for my affection today huh?

alright i’ll try to walk faster

but be patient, baby.

patience 😉

and...i’m super excited to see you.

i MISSED you too… like a ton?

i’ve been hugging my pillow at night, pretending it’s you ☹️

i can’t wait to shower you with kisses, like SO MANY kisses.

and cuddle you endlessly.

i LOVE YOU so much that it’s hard to even describe.

oh my god why are you so perfect?

you’re unbelievably perfect and i can’t believe you’re MY girlfriend, mine <3

you’re mine

oh god 🤭 i THINK I’M OBSESSED.

seriously baby... marry me 😍

you:

stop texting

and come home quickly

you walk so slowly with your short legs ☹️

and don’t you dare be late

pham honey:

wow. that’s kind of rude!

alright alright 🙄

you couldn’t help but smile as you set your phone down. “why is she so cute...” you murmured to yourself. with a sense of urgency, you mentally chastised yourself. “y/n, clean the room before she arrives!” you told yourself as you stood up, lollipop still clutched between your teeth.

you made your way to your room, determined to tidy up. the bed was reasonably clean but still a little messy. you didn’t want your perfect girlfriend, hanni pham, to see it less than immaculate. she deserved everything to be just as perfect as she was.

while humming contentedly and chewing your lollipop, you changed the bedsheets to fresh ones, making sure everything looked neat and inviting.

after you finished, you glanced at the clock. it was 9:31 p.m.

“when is she coming back...” you wondered aloud as you grabbed another lollipop from your desk, tossing the stick from the previous one into the trash. you stepped out of the room, a chuckle escaping you as you imagined hanni possibly tripping over her own feet. it was amusing but also a bit worrying.

hanni was always unpredictable. like, REALLY unpredictable.

you never knew what kind of delightful mischief she’d get up to next...

and it only made her cuter.

you loved her for it.

you loved her for exactly who she was.

you reached for your phone, which you’d left on the couch earlier. the tv’s soft hum played in the background, a distant noise in your current state of anticipation.

just as you were about to enter the final number of your password—

**ding-dong!!**

the doorbell rang loudly, making you jump slightly. “is that her?” you mumbled, the lollipop still dangling from your mouth.

“probably her,” you mused to yourself.

you made your way to the front door, fingers gripping the doorknob. you took a deep breath, peeking through the peephole to get a glimpse of the visitor.

there she was—standing outside the door, looking absolutely adorable in a hoodie...

wait a second—

IS THAT YOUR HOODIE!?

with a resigned sigh, you thought, “nothing new, she’s swiped my hoodie again…”

but she’s finally here...

why am i so nervous? you wondered, turning back to the door. slowly, you opened it. before you could even get a good look, she leapt into your arms, hugging you like a koala.

“oh my god, hanni, i can’t breathe,” you groaned, feeling her arms tighten around you. “come on, you’re squishing me.” even as you grumbled, you couldn’t deny how much you needed this.

“no way,” she mumbled into your neck. “i’ve waited a whole month to hold you again. baby, i missed you so much, like a person who’s lost something vital and can’t get through the day without it.” you stood there, unable to stop the smile spreading across your face, as you wrapped your arms around her. with your foot, you nudged the door shut and locked it.

“can you let go now?” you asked, making your way into the living room.

“uh-uh,” she shook her head, her nose buried in your scent. “why do you always smell so good?” she asked, pulling back just enough for her eyes to meet yours. she looked both exhausted and exhilarated. “i don’t use much perfume. it must just be my natural scent,” you shrugged, still chewing on your lollipop as you gently tried to pull her off the couch.

“no, don’t pull away!” she protested, pouting and crossing her arms, clearly disappointed. “you can’t just push me away after i’ve missed you so much!”

“you just came in from outside. go wash up first, you might have germs. i can’t risk catching anything—eww,” you teased, a smirk playing on your lips as you settled down on the couch opposite her. she huffed in response, turning her head away with a dramatic sigh. “seriously, how could you be so rude?” she grumbled.

“i’m just being careful, you know. can’t help it if that bruises your ego,” you teased, a smirk playing on your lips. “and let’s talk about the whole stealing thing, shall we?”

“stealing? me?” hanni raised an eyebrow, looking at you like you’d just accused her of some heinous crime. “when did i ever steal?”

you rolled your eyes, finally taking the lollipop stick out of your mouth and licking your lips. “don’t try that innocent act with me, pham. it’s not gonna work.”

she huffed dramatically. “fine! i might’ve borrowed one hoodie…”

“oh, just the one?” you crossed your arms, leaning back with a knowing grin.

“ugh, okay, fine! three hoodies!”

you shook your head, a mock-serious look on your face. “no more cuddles for you—”

“five! okay, five of your hoodies! happy now?”

you chuckled, clearly amused. “now i am. i think i'll call the cops now. imagine the headlines: ‘newjeans’ hanni caught red-handed stealing five hoodies from a fan, scandalizing her career.’”

“oh, shut up!” she pouted, crossing her arms. “i have every right to take your hoodies! i need something that smells like you when i miss you... and i even left one of my favorite hoodies with you, didn’t i?” she tried to sound indignant but it came out more like a whine.

without warning, she launched herself at you, nearly knocking you over. you caught her with a laugh, holding her close as she snuggled against you like a clingy koala.

“seriously, you’re gonna give me a heart attack one day,” you grumbled, though you couldn’t hide the smile on your face as you felt her warm breath against your neck.

“oh, please. you’re the one who was begging me to get here fast so you could hug me,” she retorted, her voice muffled against your shoulder.

you ran your fingers through her hair, a soft laugh escaping your lips. “okay, maybe i was being a little sweet... but i didn’t mean it that much.”

“liar!” she pinched your side playfully, making you yelp.

“ow, hanni!” you whined, trying to pull away, but she tightened her grip around you.

“hmm..” she looked up, her eyes meeting yours, weary and soft. “you look exhausted,” you mumbled, gently rubbing her back in slow, comforting circles. she sighed, cupping your face in her small hands. “i am... really tired... today’s practice was brutal. we recorded a new song today and... oh! you know, dani tried to moonwalk and tripped over her own feet!” she chuckled, her eyes lighting up for a moment. “haerin and i had a dance battle... but she beat me this time. minji was teasing me, as usual... and, oh! by the way, hyein told me to say hi. she misses you.” hanni rambled on, her voice a sweet melody to your ears. you couldn't help but chuckle softly as you brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

“you’re just too cute, baby... i can’t handle it,” you sighed, feeling a surge of affection wash over you. her cuteness was something that always left you both awestruck and grateful.

sometimes, you wondered what good deed you had done in life to deserve a girlfriend as wonderful as her.

“oh, shut up... i’m not that cute,” she grumbled, hiding her face in your neck, her voice muffled. “i don’t get why you and bunnies find me so adorable... you guys are too much.” she playfully hit your chest, causing you to laugh. you pulled her closer, enjoying the way she felt in your arms. “oh, my hanhan is flustered, i see. did i make you blush? yayyy!”

“l/n y/n, can you shut up... or i’ll kiss you,” she threatened, pulling back with a pout. you smirked, “oh really? but sorry, i'm busy eating my lollipop right now.” you teased, chewing the lollipop with a mischievous grin. she rolled her eyes. “is it weird that i'm jealous of that lollipop? you’re giving it more attention than me—”

“excuse me!? pham hanni, stop being so blunt!” you raised your eyebrows, feigning shock, as she crossed her arms, her expression daring. “can’t help it when you're licking that lollipop like that... it's kinda seductive.”

you felt your cheeks heat up, caught off guard by her words. “y-you're so weird...” you muttered, turning your gaze away. “don't look at me like that, you little freak.”

she chuckled at your flustered state, her fingers gently tilting your chin back toward her. “what look, darling?” she asked, raising an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at her lips. before you could respond, she reached out and popped the lollipop out of your mouth, bringing it close to her own lips. “hey, what the hell? that's mine!” you protested, but she just grinned wider.

“it must be really sweet, the way you were eating it... i want to see if it's as good as it looks...” she murmured, her voice dropping to a low, teasing whisper. your eyes widened in realization. “no! don't! that's gross, i already licked it! a little kid gave me that, and you can't just—”

“who said i was going to taste it from here?” she interrupted with a chuckle, her voice sultry and suggestive.

you froze, narrowing your eyes, trying to process her words. then it hit you.

“pham hanni, don’t you dare—”

before you could finish, she leaned in, capturing your lips with hers in a kiss that felt like she had been waiting forever for this moment.

her lips moved against yours with a hunger and intensity that left you breathless, her hands tangling in your hair as she deepened the kiss, leaving your lips swollen and red, and a few love bites on your neck as souvenirs.

just your average pham hanni behavior...

“baby, you're not sleeping?” you snapped out of your thoughts as you looked up from your notebook. you stopped writing and saw hanni lifting her head up from the bed. her hair was a bit messy, her eyes half-open, wearing one of your pajamas, looking absolutely adorable.

“ah.. i just have a few things to finish, my sweet bunny. did the lamp wake you up? sorry, i'll turn it away a bit..” you smiled, adjusting the light so it wouldn't bother her. hanni sat up with a sigh, rubbing her eyes. “what do you mean by 'a few things'? it's 2 a.m... you should be in bed too...” she yawned, clearly still half-asleep.

“can't sleep...” you admitted with a small, nervous laugh, turning your chair to face her. “did you have a nightmare or something? do you want me to cuddle you again?” you asked, getting up and moving towards her side of the bed. she reached out, grabbing your shirt sleeve and pulling you closer, wrapping her arms around your waist. “no, you're the one who should be sleeping...” she mumbled, her voice still heavy with exhaustion.

“you didn’t get much rest last night, and now you’re up again... working through the night like an owl or something,” she huffed, pressing her face against your stomach. you chuckled, patting her back gently. “baby, i can’t help it... even when i’m dead tired, i just can’t seem to fall asleep, no matter what i do...” you admitted, watching as her eyes widened slightly.

“has this been happening a lot lately?” she asked, concern evident in her tone. you nodded. she sighed, “sounds like insomnia... you’ve got insomnia, babe.”

“yeah, you could say that... but don’t sweat it.” you shrugged, rubbing the back of your neck. she scoffed, “don’t sweat it? do you even know how bad insomnia is?! it makes you tired... *yawn*... gives you poor concentration, mood swings, and increased stress or anxiety... it’s sooo bad. it can lead to health problems like heart disease, high blood pressure, and even accidents due to drowsiness...”

“oh... you’re making it sound like a big deal...” you laughed nervously, your hand gently caressing her back. "it is!” hanni insisted.

“we need to fix this.. chamomile tea, meditation, melatonin…” her voice trailed off as sleepiness tugged at her again. despite her best efforts to stay awake and worried for you, she was clearly still exhausted. all she could think about was making you chamomile tea in the morning or finding a meditation video on youtube to help you relax.

“you’re still so tired...” you tilted your head, observing her. “yes, but you’re even more tired than i am... so get in.” she sighed, letting go of your waist and scooting over to make room. “huh, what?”

“get in bed, dumbass,” she said, snuggling back under the blanket and patting the space next to her.

“uh... okay, let me just turn off the lamp...” you murmured, reaching over to turn off the light before climbing into bed beside her.

you groaned as you turned to the other side... it's been an hour now, and you still can't fall asleep. beside you, hanni was fast asleep again, clearly exhausted from her long day. you could hear the soft sounds of her breathing, occasionally mumbling something in her sleep and pulling you closer, snuggling against you.

“god... why the hell can't i sleep... i'm too tired to deal with this,” you sighed, rubbing your neck and opening your eyes. “i can't just lie here doing nothing... maybe i should get up and read a book in the living room, don’t want to wake my tired baby again...” you thought, carefully trying to get up. but as you moved, you realized hanni’s arm was still draped over you, holding you tight.

you blinked. “she's asleep... i’ll just move her hand aside... she's too sleepy to notice,” you thought as you slowly began to lift her arm off your shoulder. but you failed, accidentally jostling her awake.

“y/n-ah, what are you doing...” she murmured sleepily, her voice groggy with fatigue. you closed your eyes, silently cursing yourself for waking her up again. “uh, i need to pee...” you blurted out nervously, trying to come up with an excuse.

“huh... you've been to the bathroom like four times already... do you have diabetes too or something?” she muttered, slowly opening her eyes. “oh god, why did you give my baby all these problems...” she sighed, shaking her head.

you blinked in surprise. “no! i don't have diabetes! what the hell...” you exclaimed, and she chuckled softly. “then why do you keep running to the bathroom, huh?”

“okay, fine... i lied. i just... can’t sleep,” you admitted with a sigh, dropping your head back onto the pillow. “can’t sleep?” she whispered, pulling you closer. you nodded, feeling her warm breath on your neck. she sighed gently. “is there anything i can do to help you? do you want me to make you some chamomile tea, baby?” she offered, her voice filled with concern despite her own exhaustion.

“no, you should sleep,” you insisted, shaking your head. “but i can't sleep peacefully when you're struggling to sleep, baby. you're going to be exhausted tomorrow, and that's not good... just tell me if there's something i can do. i’m not going back to sleep if you don’t...” she said, softly caressing your cheek.

“i don’t know... but your voice calms me a lot... if you don’t mind... could you tell me a story?” you asked, snuggling closer to her. she hummed softly, her fingers gently brushing through your hair. “you want me to tell you a story... like a fairytale or something?” she asked quietly. you nodded against her shoulder.

“let me think of one, baby...” she whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as she continued to stroke your hair. “hmmm... i remember one that my grandma used to tell me when i was little...” she said, and you looked up at her, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“close your eyes and just listen, okay? don’t think about anything else, just listen. it’ll help you fall asleep...” she murmured, placing gentle kisses on each of your eyelids, making you feel even calmer.

“okay, baby. i'll just listen,” you mumbled, closing your eyes. she chuckled softly, pulling you even closer. “that’s my baby,” she whispered, her voice soothing as she began her story.

“once upon a time,” she began, her fingers gently threading through your hair, “there was a princess.”

hanni closed her eyes, letting her imagination bring the story to life as she spoke, her voice a soft, soothing hum that blended with the quiet of the night.

“this princess lived in a beautiful kingdom, where everything seemed perfect and peaceful. but despite all the beauty around her, the princess felt a deep unhappiness inside.”

“why was she unhappy?” you asked, curiosity getting the better of you.

“babe, you said you wouldn't talk,” hanni teased, pausing her hand in your hair for a moment before continuing. “but well, the princess was unhappy because, although she had everything she could ever wish for, she was lonely. she had a kingdom and all the luxuries one could imagine, but she had no one to truly share them with, no one who genuinely cared for her.”

“she had her parents, of course," hanni went on, her fingers resuming their gentle, calming motion through your hair. “but it wasn't the kind of connection she was yearning for.”

she paused, her voice her voice dropping to a softer, more intimate tone.

"then, one day, the princess met a knight..."

"the knight came into her life like a breath of fresh air..." hanni murmured, her voice soft and dreamlike. "he was unlike any other man in the kingdom.. he wasn't interested in her wealth or her title.. he treated her with kindness and respect.. not as a princess, but as a person.."

hanni smiled at the thought of the knight, her fingers tracing lightly along your jaw.

“the princess was captivated by this new person in her life...” she continued in a whisper, her touch tender and affectionate. “she found herself drawn to him in ways she couldn't explain.. maybe it was his courage, his loyalty, or just the way he saw her for who she truly was...”

“as time went on, the princess and the knight grew closer...” hanni said, her voice now a soft murmur, almost like a lullaby. “they spent time together, sharing their thoughts and dreams.. learning more about each other with every passing day...”

her hand moved gently down to rest on your chest, feeling the steady rhythm of your heartbeat.

"as they got to know each other, the princess realized she was falling in love with the knight.." hanni whispered, her hand drifting down to rest lightly on your stomach. "he was everything she had ever dreamed of and more.. and to her surprise and delight, she discovered that he felt the same way about her.."

"time passed, and their love only grew stronger.." hanni continued, her soft, melodic voice drawing you deeper into a state of calm and peace.

"they were blissfully happy, cherishing every moment they could spend together.." she murmured, her fingers gently tracing along your skin, soothing you further.

"but the princess' parents... they didn't approve of their love.. they had other plans for her.. they wanted her to marry someone of higher rank.. someone who could bring more power and wealth to the kingdom.."

"they forbade their relationship.." hanni said, her voice tinged with a note of sorrow. "they wanted the princess to marry a suitor who would benefit the kingdom politically, not a humble knight.."

"the knight and the princess were heartbroken.." hanni whispered, her hand stilling for a moment on your hip. "they tried to reason with her parents, but it was in vain.. her parents were determined to marry her off to someone else.."

"but the knight knew he couldn't just give up.." hanni continued, her voice firmer now, filled with quiet determination. "he didn't care about status or wealth.. he loved the princess, and he was resolved to find a way to be with her.."

“so he went to the king and boldly asked for the princess's hand in marriage.. the king was furious and refused, but seeing the knight's determination, he set a challenge.. if the knight could complete three impossible tasks, then he could marry the princess,” hanni explained.

as hanni continued the story, her voice calm and soothing, you began to feel drowsy.. her storytelling was comforting, her gentle caresses on your hair making your eyelids feel heavy.

"the knight, with the unicorn's horn in his possession, presented himself before the king, having completed all three tasks.." hanni murmured, her hand now tracing soft patterns on your arm. "seeing that the knight had succeeded, the king had no choice but to honor his promise and allow the knight to marry the princess.."

"and then they live happily ever after...." you mumbled sleepily, a small smile tugging at your lips.

hanni chuckled at your sleepy comment, her hand continuing to gently run through your hair.

"yes... it's a classic fairy tale.. the knight overcomes all obstacles, wins the princess's heart, and they live happily ever after.." she whispered, her voice carrying a hint of playful amusement.

“thank you... han... for the story and for everything... i love you... so much...” you sighed, feeling yourself drifting off, the world fading away.

“anytime, my love... good night.. sweet dreams, and remember to dream of me, okay?"

a/n: i really enjoyed writing this, and i hope it brought you some joy too. thanks so much for reading, and have a wonderful day or night! :)) (i need a hanni fr...)

[mapiforpresident]

32 with Lucy, but completely platonic? so where r is a younger player that just needs some support and Lucy wants to help

nws if you don’t want to do platonic stuff :)

"Why won't you let me in?"

Lucy Bronze x reader (platonic)

warnings: homesickness

summary: You feel homesick after moving to Barcelona

Barcelona had been your dream club since you first started playing football. You grew up wearing the jerseys and watching as many games as you could. That was why, as soon as you received an offer from them, you said yes immediately. You knew leaving Arsenal and saying goodbye to all your teammates would be incredibly difficult, but you could not turn down an offer from Barcelona.

You felt fine the first couple of weeks after you left your home country of England. It had almost felt like going off to another tournament and that you would be back soon. However, after two months, the novelty started to wear off, and you began to feel homesick. You didn't want to worry any of your teammates, especially your English teammates, who you knew would be very concerned if they knew how you were feeling. Lucy had always sort of taken you under her wing, and she did no different at Barcelona. However, now that she was in a newer relationship with Ona, she spent less time with you than she would have liked, and you didn't want to feel like a burden to her.

You had just approached the training grounds in your club-provided car, ready to make your way into training, but you didn't have your usual enthusiasm and energy. Once you stepped onto the grounds, you realized Lucy had been waiting for you by the door, which made you smile a little bit.

"Hey kid, you ready for another day of me running circles around you?" Lucy ruffled your hair a bit as you led the way to the locker room.

"You wish you could keep up with me; you're practically ancient at this point." You opened the locker room door as a bunch of teammates turned to greet you.

"You are getting older, amor; you can't keep up with us younger ones anymore," Ona said as she came and kissed Lucy on the cheek. Lucy playfully frowned but allowed Ona to pull her towards her cubby to get ready. Just like that, you were back to being alone in your thoughts and feeling homesick. You wanted to text Leah, but you didn't want to bother her, knowing she was busy with her own recovery and training, so you kept all your emotions bottled inside.

Throughout training, your teammates were confused why you weren't acting like yourself. Normally, you were off joking with Pina and Patri or getting babied by Ale or Lucy, but instead, you mostly kept to yourself, even partnering up with Ingrid, which Mapi wasn't happy about because you knew she wouldn't ask you any questions.

"You okay, kid? You're not getting sick or anything, are you? You seem exhausted and stuff," Lucy asked as she approached you with a water bottle during a break in training.

"All good, just thinking about how many times I'm going to nutmeg you during the next drill." Lucy gave you a look after you said this, like she knew you were lying, but before she could respond, Ale called out to you, claiming she wanted you on her team for the 5v5.

The rest of practice, Lucy kept an eye on you, realizing more and more how weird you were acting, even saying no to Mapi asking to take you to get ice cream after practice, which you had never done before. She continued to not-so-subtly ask you questions about what's wrong, including if you had gotten enough sleep or if someone had broken up with you, although she had told you that you weren't allowed to date for another ten years anyway. You kept brushing her questions off, claiming that you just needed a nap when you got home, not wanting her to see you break down or be vulnerable, especially in front of the whole team.

Practice had finally ended, and you were thankful you had avoided the questions well enough for Lucy not to drag you back to her apartment, although she knew you didn't like going over there anyway after you caught her and Ona doing not-so-child-friendly things on the couch. You had just packed up all your things, ready to make a beeline to your car and go home so you could finally cry and let all your emotions out and then hopefully take a nap. Just as you were about to grab the last of your things from your cubby to head to your car, you got an Instagram notification. Leah had posted a selfie with a couple of your old Arsenal teammates with the caption "Best teammates in the world. Love playing alongside you guys every day." Normally, you would like it and think it's cute and message Leah about how she was so soft and cheesy, but today it was your final straw.

Your face dropped immediately, and you don't know why, but you bolted out of the room until you got to a secluded hallway where you thought no one would find you, and you just broke down. Sobs racked your body as you wanted nothing more than to be back in your home country with your childhood team. You knew the language, you knew the people, everything was easy and predictable. What you didn't know is that Lucy saw the entire thing from how your face dropped to how you had sprinted out the door. She quickly followed you, knowing you shouldn't be alone right now.

What she saw when she found you broke her heart. She had never seen you look so small and dejected. You were sniffling, now curled in on yourself and slightly rocking.

You glanced up, startled by her sudden presence.

As Lucy approached you, she could see the frustration etched on your face, the weight of uncertainty heavy in your eyes. She stopped in front of you, noticing the way you seemed to be wrestling with something internally.

"Talk to me, bubs," Lucy whispered as she sat down next to you and started to rub your back lightly, something she knew comforted you greatly.

"It's nothing, I'm okay. I think I just need a good nap."

"This is clearly not nothing. You know I won't judge you for anything you say. Do you want me to call Leah?" Lucy said as she continued to rub your back soothingly.

"No, please don't bother her, seriously. It's really not that big of a deal, and you know how worried she gets."

Lucy could sense your reluctance to open up, but she wasn't about to let you push her away. She knew you needed someone to lean on, even if you didn't realize it yourself.

"Hey, it's okay to not be okay," Lucy said gently, her voice filled with understanding. "You don't have to carry this burden alone. We're teammates, we're friends, and we're here for each other."

You continued to just sit there and shake your head, thinking Lucy will just think less of you if she knew you were making all this fuss over just being homesick.

"Why won't you let me in, bubs? It's just me. Let me help you. I'll even come to your apartment, and you can beat me at Mario Kart again." You let out a soft chuckle at this, which made Lucy relax a little bit.

"I... I don't know if I can do this," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm new here, and I just... I feel like I'm drowning, like I don't belong."

"I'm homesick, and all this change was new and exciting at first, but I miss home."

"Oh, bubs, why didn't you say anything sooner? It's completely okay to feel homesick. Barcelona can be a lot. There are so many new people, two new languages, a new style of play. It's completely normal to miss all the things that feel normal and familiar."

"How about this," Lucy continued, her tone gentle yet determined. "I'll call Keira, and she can meet us at your apartment. We'll cook a full English meal, and we can even Facetime Leah and Georgia. We'll have a Lionesses night, just like old times. How does that sound?"

A sense of relief washed over you, knowing that Lucy was there to support you through the tough moments. You nodded gratefully, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"Incredible," you whispered, gratitude swelling within you. "Thank you, Lucy. For everything."

With Lucy by your side, ready to help you navigate the challenges of adapting to a new life in Barcelona, you finally felt a glimmer of optimism for the future. And as you leaned into her comforting embrace, you knew that no matter how far from home you were, you had found a true friend in Lucy.

[scarlethexelove]

Hi! Request you ask? Well, what do you think about Wanda x Natasha x Reader being in a relationship but after a while Nat and Wands are slightly ignoring R, which makes her question their relationship. Wanda and Nat are doing that because R was on a long mission and they fell into a routine without R.

I Don't Even Know You Anymore

The image is not mine.

Pairing: WandaNat x Reader, Bucky x Reader (Siblings)

Word Count: 3904

Warnings: Angsty for sure, break ups, allusion to depression, I guess suicidal tendencies, Gun shots, bloody injuries, I guess no happy ending just an open ending. I'm not sure what else.

Part 2 What About Now?

A/n: this one got out of hand. I did not expect to write almost 4k words. But I hope you enjoy. I normally don't leave it with a none happy ending but this one felt like it needed it. If anyone comes up with other warnings I should add please let me know. I hope you all enjoy.

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN

Your body aches as you wait for the quinjet door to open. Excited to be home after being gone for 3 months. Also being excited to see both of your girlfriends smiling faces. You weren’t able to talk to them because this mission was covert. It was just you and Clint for 6 months, but it was finally over. 

The door opens and as you look around. You're disappointed when you see no one waiting. You expected your girlfriends to be waiting for you when you got back. You haven’t been able to talk to them because the mission was covert. Only weekly check-ins with Fury were done which would be relayed to the team. This was to keep you and Clint safe. So it was sad when you returned and the two people you wanted to see the most weren’t there waiting for you.

As your demeanor deflates, Clint places a hand on your shoulder. “Maybe they had a mission or maybe Fury didn’t tell them we would be home today. Don’t worry Y/n/n.” Clint smiled reassuring you. You don’t know how he knows what you are thinking because he has always been able to read you like an open book. “Yeah, yeah you're right I’m just overthinking it.” You give him a weak smile. Something deep down is still nagging you. 

You both make your way into the compound. If your girlfriends aren’t around then you want to be able to go take a nice long hot shower and take a nap. You are exhausted and just need some small comforts. But as you make your way through the common area you are shocked and hurt to see your girlfriends sitting on the couch and the rest of the team surrounding them in chairs. 

Your brother Bucky is sitting across from them. When he notices you he jumps up and comes over and about squeezes you to death. “Hey sis!” Bucky exclaims. “Hey Buck.” You pat at his back hoping he will let you down, which thankfully he does. So that is when you turn your attention to the redhead and brunette sitting in front of you.

“Hi Nat. Hi Wands. I’ve missed you both.” You give them a gentle smile. Up until this point they really hadn’t given you a second thought. You were feeling hurt but hopefully it is just a big misunderstanding. ‘Hey Y/n.” Natasha greets you. But the fact that she used your name and not a pet name stung a bit. Wanda only gave you a gentle smile but you didn’t feel that it was genuine.    

“I-I’m going to go take a shower and take a nap if either of you would like to join me.” You say hoping that maybe the way they are treating you is just all in your head and they just are shocked to see you back. “We were just about to start a movie. So you go ahead and do that. You look pretty rough and in need of that.” Wanda finally says to you. “O-oh ok. Enjoy your movie.” You respond hurt hoping that no one notices the wavering of your voice. 

You ignore the looks you are getting from the team. They all give you a look of pity and you hate it. So you quickly make your way out of the room. You miss the look of anger on your brother's face towards the two women. He can see your hurt as you make your exit. You don’t want to stick around where you are clearly not wanted. 

Once you make your way into your shared bedroom and straight into the bathroom. You strip your grimy suit off and toss it into the hamper before turning on the water and stepping into the nice hot shower. You let the water rush over you, rinsing all the tension and hurt away. A few tears slipping down your face and into the drain. 

After standing there for a few minutes you finally look around for your soap, shampoo, and conditioner but they are all missing. Maybe you ran out before you left and forgot to replace them. It has been 6 months and that sounds like something you would do. So you use Wanda’s shampoo and conditioner and Natasha’s body wash. 

Once you feel adequately clean you step out of the shower drying off and walking into the bedroom. You see your favorite hoodie of Natasha’s and slip it on. Before climbing into bed and curling up. You see your bear that Wanda had gotten you one time when you were sick strewn almost off the bed. You grab it and wrap your arms around it. Within minutes you are passed out in the bed. Your heart is heavy and your mind confused.  

When you groggily wake up you look at the time and it is already 9pm. You slept most of the day. Your stomach roars with hunger so you listen as you crawl out of bed. You grab a pair of sweatpants and throw those on before heading out towards the kitchen. In your sleepy state you hadn’t even noticed that you were carrying around the teddy bear in your arms. You chuckle to yourself before setting it down on the counter going to make yourself some food. 

You whip up something to eat before sitting down at the counter. You slowly eat your food. The compound is quiet as you eat alone. Once you have finished eating you clean up your dishes and put them all away before making your way back towards your room to get more sleep. 

As you get to the door you are shocked when you find it locked and you can’t get in. You try and knock but get no response, but that is when you hear it. Your enhanced hearing picks up on Wanda’s moans and Natasha’s grunts. They get louder with each passing second that you stand there shocked. You feel your heart shatter in your chest. You weren’t just overthinking that they were giving you the cold shoulder. They were just waiting for you to leave them alone to lock you out. To seemingly break up with you. 

Tears start streaming down your face, a small sob escaping your lips. A door clicks open, you turn and see your brother looking at you. But all you can do is run. He tries to call after you but you run to your old room. The one that you had before you moved in with Natasha and Wanda. You slam the door shut and lock it before letting your back hit the door. You slowly sink to the floor sobbing and clutching the bear in your arms. 

That is when you notice the room. It is filled with most of your things. You had been so exhausted when you got back that you hadn’t realized that your things were missing from your shared bedroom. Your sobs become uncontrollable as you curl up in a ball in front of the door. You can hear your brother banging on the door to let him in but you don’t move. You can’t move. You're frozen in place like all those years with Hydra. You were nothing again. 

And that is where you stay locked in your room for most of the day sleeping the day away. Only coming out at night when everyone is asleep. Bucky occasionally stays up just so he can see how you are. You don’t say much but you let him be around and he is grateful for that. Sometimes you catch Steve in the early morning when he gets up for his run and you're heading to bed. He always gives you a sad smile. You can’t stand the look of pity in his eyes and you don’t want to see it from the rest of the team either. 

What you don’t notice is that Natasha and Wanda have also been watching you in the morning. They realize that they took it too far but they don’t know how to fix it. They still love you deeply and hate themselves for how they treated you. 

But Bucky sees them. You’re already in your room as he walks by the two women. He only scowls at them. He would love to do more but as much as wants to he knows that you would not forgive him. No matter what they did to you, you still care about them. 

You're startled awake when you hear FRIDAY speaking. “Miss.Barnes you are requested for a mission immediately.” “Do I have to go?” You mumble taking your pillow and covering your head. “Yes Miss.Barnes Fury has assigned you to a rescue mission. The quinjet leaves in 15 minutes.” FRIDAY informs you. “FRIDAY who else is on the mission?” You question scared that you may have to see the two women. “Mr.Barnes and Mr.Rogers will be accompanying you.” You let out a sigh of relief hearing that it will be your brother and Steve who you see as another brother. 

You get up and quickly take a shower. It has been a few days, you haven’t had the energy to bring yourself to do it. Once you are done you slip on your suit. Not completely surprised that it doesn’t exactly fit. You have lost weight due to rarely eating. Only eating enough to survive. So it hangs loose on you but you don’t have time to care. 

You make your way out to the quinjet and join the two men standing there. You have been wearing baggy clothes so the two can see just how terrible you look. But they don’t dare say anything. They love you but they know never to push you into something you don’t want to talk about or do. 

You settle into the seat as the quinjet takes off. “So does anyone want to fill me in on what is going on?” You question. “Hydra has taken a group of scientists and doctors hostage. We need to rescue them before they are forced to do something for hydra. This is a time sensitive and top priority mission.” Steve tells you before you guys go over the game plan of your roles during the mission. 

Once you land you all have to split up. It is unknown where they are being held and the place is so large that in order to do it quickly and efficiently you have to split up. You pull your gun and head off to the right side of the building. Taking out Hydra agents left and right. Keeping up communication with your brother and Steve as you clear each section you were tasked to search. 

As you make your way down the hall you appear into a room. You see about fifteen Hydra agents and also the hostages. You press on your com. “I found the hostages but also about fifteen Hydra agents.” You whisper. “Y/n wait for backup we will be there in a few minutes.” Steve informs you. “I’m going in.” You ignore Steve’s orders. “Y/n/n you need to wait for backup.” Bucky tried to keep you from doing something stupid. “I can take them.” You tell them. Both of them keep trying to convince you to wait for them. It started to frustrate you so you pulled out your coms and stepped on it. 

You rush in and you’re able to take down ten of the Hydra agents, but then they are able to start overwhelming you. The remaining five were able to overtake you. One was able to get you down on your knees. One agent kneed you in the jaw almost causing you to bite off your tongue. You have blood in your mouth before you're completely knocked down. They don’t stop the beating there. They start kicking you. Several kicks to the head have you disoriented and barely conscious. 

One rolls you on your back as you spit some blood out. You can barely see but you can make out the silhouette of a gun. Just before he is about to discharge his weapon you can hear the distinct whooshing sound of Steve’s shield. It barely misses the man as he gets a shot off but it is enough for him to miss his main target, your head. The bullet hits your shoulder making you cry out. Before Steve can get another throw off the man is able to get off three more shots. Two hitting you in the lower stomach and one in your upper stomach lower chest area. 

All you can do is whimper in pain as you’re sure that the last one hit your lung. You can hear Steve taking out the remaining agents. As he does the door slams open and you hear Bucky yell out for you and that is the last thing that you remember. He sees you in a puddle of blood barely moving as he falls down next to you. He puts his hands over your wounds trying to stop the bleeding. One of the hostages comes over to you. “I’m a doctor, I can help.” So he and Bucky get to work on stabilizing you and being able to move you. 

They are able to get you out of there with the hostages. Once everyone is on the quinjet and it has taken off the doctor does everything he can to keep you alive long enough to get you to the compound so that you get the help that is needed. On the journey back you flatlined three times but the doctor was able to get you back each time. Luckily they keep blood for each avengers blood type on the quinjets in case of emergencies. 

Once the quinjet lands the doors are quickly opened and the team of doctors waiting move in and take you straight into surgery in hopes of saving your life. Bucky and Steve make their way into the waiting room where the other avengers are waiting. Everyone has a somber look on their face. The team was notified that someone was injured badly but they weren’t informed who. As they see the two men they know that it was you who was hurt. 

Seconds later the door to the waiting room slams open. Wanda and Natasha come running through the door. They look around and spot Bucky and Steve and their hearts drop. They know it was you. You were the one who was hurt and could possibly not make it though. The team was told it was bad and that whoever was hurt may not make it through. 

“W-what happened?” Wanda stuttered out tears in her eyes. Bucky quickly moves towards them and points at them. “This is your fault. Both of you. Get the fuck out of here before I make you.” Bucky yells at them. Natasha steps in front of Wanda and gets closer to Bucky. “We aren’t leaving.” She stands her ground. “If it wasn’t for you two she would be fine. You broke her. You broke my sister. You don’t deserve to be here.” Tears prick at Bucky’s eyes. After everything that you and him had been through you don’t deserve this. “She didn’t care about her safety. She ran in there without backup because she didn’t care to live anymore. She became reckless, no care if she lived or died. If my sister dies it will be all your fault and I could never forgive you. Now get the hell out of here before I make you!” Bucky continues to yell at the women. Natasha stands stoic but Wanda pulls her to leave. Not wanting to upset the room. 

They exit the room together. Natasha is doing everything she can to keep herself together and not break down. The door swings open and Clint steps out after the two. Natasha turns to him and she sees the disappointed look in his eyes. “I-” Clink cuts her off, raising his hand. “Natasha you are my best friend but Bucky is right about some things. What you two did to her was wrong. If you wanted to end things you should have done it the right way but you two were cowards. You truly broke her and even I’m not sure I forgive you for that right now. I still love you but you need to get your shit together.” Clint says giving Natasha and Wanda a reality check on just how much they fucked up. “I still love her.” Natasha whispered tears shining in her eyes. “Well if you do then you need to work on that. God forbid she doesn’t die in there and she actually agrees to even see you let alone forgive you you have a lot of work to do. She didn’t deserve any of that and you don’t deserve her. She was too good for you. If she does by miracle make it through you fix it. Both of you.” Clint finishes before turning to head back into the waiting room. “She was too good for either of us, we didn't deserve her.” Wanda says as she cries holding back a sob. Clint stops with his hand on the door. “I hope you both have the chance to fix this.” Was the last thing he said before entering the room again. 

Bucky never let Wanda and Natasha be around you. You have been in the hospital for a month now but you still haven’t woken up. Everyone was happy you were alive but still scared. They don’t know if there is going to be any long term effects if you wake up. The two women sneak in to see you late at night when the rest of the team is asleep. Sometimes Bucky is sleeping in your room so they stay outside. It breaks their hearts to see you like this. All the tubes sticking out of you and your unmoving form in the bed. They can really see how fragile you look laying in the bed. It is obvious to them that you had lost weight and not just from being in the hospital but because of them. They vow that they will spend the rest of their lives trying to make it better and to get you back. 

Another month passes with no changes. The women have been able to spend the nights with you since Bucky was sent on a mission. He fought to stay but Fury gave him no choice. Tonight is like every other night. Both women are sitting and reading listening to the steady rhythm of your heart beat. It is comforting to them to hear that your heart is still beating that you are still here with them.  

But this night is different from the others. They are startled to hear a groan coming from the bed. Both of them drop their books, not caring as they tumble to the floor. “Detka?” Wanda questions. Your throat burns and you feel groggy. It is hard to open your eyes or even open your mouth. You hear the words but your brain is sluggish and takes a minute to register. Once your brain catches up to the words you try and respond. “N-no-not y-your d-det-detka” Your voice is hoarse and you stutter your words. “Y/n/n don’t speak.” Natasha tells you. Your eyes finally blinking open to look at the women who are staring at you with joy and concern etched into their faces. 

Natasha gets up and quickly fills a cup with water and puts a straw in it. “Drink this.” You want to refuse her but your burning throat tells you to do what you are told. She holds the straw to your lips and you hesitantly take it and sip the water. The water hurts your sore throat at first but soon soothes it. You quickly start to suck it down not realizing how thirsty you were until you had the water. “Slow down detka you will make yourself sick.” Natasha tells you. You slow down to a stop knowing that she is right. 

“S-stop ca-calling me that.” The stutter is getting better and you still croak out your words but you sound slightly better than before. The women look at you sadly but nod in understanding. “W-why are y-you here?” You ask the women. They look between each other and back to you. “We love you Y/n.” Wanda tells you. “And we just want to help and take care of you. Y/n/n you have been in a coma for 2 months.” Natasha adds. You're shocked to hear how long you had been out for but you scoff at the rest. That hurts your throat but you ignore it. 

Your body has mostly healed in the two months that you have been out. The only question was if you would ever wake up and would you still be you. No one could know but they can see that you are still there. You may have a stutter but you're alive and talking and that is all that matters at the moment. 

“W-wh-why?” There are tears in your eyes when you look at the women. Begging for the explanation that you never got the one you thought you never wanted. Natasha sighs and looks down, not able to look you in the eye. She tries to take your hand but you flinch away. “We were hurt when you were gone so long. That is no excuse for what we did. We still love you. We fell into our own routine. We never meant for it to go this far. To hurt you this much. You don’t have to forgive us, but we will do everything in our power to prove to you that we are sorry. What we did to you was wrong.�� Natasha sniffles and finally looks at you with tears in her eyes. “I never deserved your love.” 

As much as you were hurt by them, her words broke your heart. “You are too good for us.” Wanda adds tears streaming down her face. “Y-you di-did. I-I-I” The stuttering is frustrating you. “L-love you.” You finish. “B-but I-I do-don’t know i-if I c-can for-forgive you.” You cry as you say the words. You love them with all your heart but they hurt you. They threw your relationship away because they were hurt. Hurt over something you can’t control. Over the job that you all share. 

Both women cry but nod. “We understand.” Wanda tells you. She reaches out for your hand and this time you let her hold it. Natasha follows suit. You three are crying even if it is hard, this was needed. As you calm down you speak again. “I-I ne-need time. Pl-please g-go.” The women understand. Each kissing your cheeks before letting go of your hands. Natasha hits the call button before they both make their exit before the team of doctors rush to your side. 

The doctors rush in and are surprised to see you awake and concerned to see you crying. The women watched from outside the door hiding from plain sight. They don’t know if they will ever have you back but they will try with all their power to get you back. They just hope they can show you how sorry they are.

[poisonlove]

Can I have a request!? Jenna Ortega x Fem!Readder

"so.. you're just going to.. give up on me." "that is NOT what i meant-" "you're not willing to fight for me either. i think it's pretty clear, Y/n."

Credits to: urfriendlywriter

-Thank you!

FIGHT | j.o

Pairing: Jenna Ortega X reader

Status: request

Warning: fluffy

The distance was becoming difficult to bear.

Jenna was in Romania for the filming of 'Wednesday,' and our relationship was feeling the strain. Her messages were becoming rarer, and our calls, though filled with love, were always too brief.

I was in Italy, far from her, and the emptiness I felt was growing each day.

My eyes were fixed on the screen of my phone, waiting for Jenna's response: would she be up for a Skype video call?I nervously bit my lower lip, palms sweating. I wanted to see her and talk to her about... us. I don't want to seem selfish; I know how hard she's working, often late into the night... but is it too much to ask for a simple good morning every now and then?

I was even considering the idea of taking a break, not because I don't love her, but maybe it would be one less thing for her to worry about.

Jen❤️Call

I quickly skimmed my girlfriend's message and tapped on the Skype icon, calling Jenna.

After three rings, Jenna picked up.

Jenna's tired face appeared on the screen. "Hey, Amore" she said with a smile, "how are you?"

I looked sadly into her sleep-deprived eyes, feeling a wave of guilt wash over me.

I'm a horrible person.

I tried to smile, but the worry was evident in my eyes. "Hi Jen," I replied, forcing the corners of my lips into a smile.

"Everything okay, Amore?" Jenna responded with concern, likely noticing my obviously fake smile.

Of course she noticed, she's an actress.

"I can't wait to come home and hold you," she added, looking at me with total admiration, her brown eyes sparkling uniquely. I played with my fingers, looking down at my legs feeling the weight of the words I needed to say.

I took a deep breath.

"Jenna, we need to talk about how things are going between us," I said, wanting to get to the point.

I felt my heart pounding in my chest, every word charged with tension.

Jenna immediately noticed the seriousness in my voice. Her smile faded.

"What's wrong? Did I say something wrong?" I looked up and saw her expression change from happy to deeply troubled, her teeth biting her lower lip forcefully.

"No, you didn't say anything wrong," I replied, trying to stay calm despite the anxiety growing inside me."It's just that... it feels like we're drifting further apart. Your messages are rare, and the calls, as lovely as they are, are too short. I feel neglected," I timidly confessed, feeling my voice tremble.

Jenna sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"I know, and I'm sorry. The work here is grueling, and I try to make time for us, but it's not enough." Her smile returned, but it was forced. "Three more months and I'll be with you," she said calmly, her tone hopeful but tinged with despair.

"It's not just about time, Jenna," I continued, tears welling up behind my eyes. "It's that I feel like I'm not a priority to you anymore." I confessed, feeling the knot in my throat tighten.

Jenna looked at me with genuine concern.

"Don't say that. You're the most important thing to me," she said, looking at me sadly, her eyes watery. I could see the pain reflected in her eyes, and it broke my heart.

Jenna hates seeing me cry; it makes her sad.

"Then why don't you show it?" I snapped, my voice trembling with emotion. "I love you, Jenna, but I can't keep feeling this alone," I said angrily, sadness mixing with the rest of my emotions.

Jenna clenched her fists, frustration evident on her face.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is for me? I've been working for hours, learning scripts, shooting grueling scenes. I'm exhausted!" Jenna looked at me with anger, gritting her teeth. I could see the fatigue and frustration building up inside her like a volcano about to erupt.

"It's never enough for you, is it? You always want more," she said with frustration, her voice cracking.

Ouch. I felt her words like a stab in the gut.

"I don't deny that," I retorted, "but I can't ignore feeling neglected. Even a simple message once in a while would make a difference." I suggested, feeling the anxiety grow inside me as I noticed the change in atmosphere between us.

Jenna's anger soon gave way to sadness, and a strange look came over her eyes.

"So... are you... giving up on me?" she asked, her voice filled with pain. I could sense the fear behind her words, a fear that resonated within me too.

Her words hit me like a punch to the stomach.

"That's not what I meant-"

"Then are you willing to fight for us?" she interrupted, frustration and desperation in her voice. "Or are you going to leave me?"

I took a moment to gather my thoughts, feeling the tension rise.

"Jenna, I want to fight for us, but I can't do it alone. I need you to be willing to do the same. We can't make it if we don't both put in the effort. I love you, but I need to feel closer to you even when we're apart. We can find a balance, I'm sure of it, but it takes both of us." I felt tears running down my cheeks, every word filled with hope and fear.

Jenna remained silent, analyzing my words. Her gaze was intense, as if she was trying to understand every nuance of what I had said.

"You're right," she finally said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. I sighed loudly, finding her adorable, my heart lighter seeing her so vulnerable.

The sound of someone knocking on her door made me raise an eyebrow in confusion.

I looked at the screen, trying to figure out what was happening.

Jenna sighed and looked towards the door, irritated. "Coming!" she said to whoever was on the other side. "Damn persistence," she muttered softly before looking back at me with a big smile.

She muted the video call.

Jenna stood up from her desk chair, revealing her casual attire: an oversized T-shirt and a pair of shorts I had lent her for the trip. My heart swelled with tenderness seeing her wear something of mine, making me smile like an idiot.

As she walked away, I glanced at her trailer curiously. The walls were adorned with photos of us together, taken in happy moments. A plush toy I had won for her on our first date rested next to her pillow. There were work notes scattered on the table, highlighted scripts, and a half-empty coffee mug. The atmosphere was a mix of chaos and warmth, a perfect reflection of her current life.

Jenna returned to the computer, a strange look on her face. She seemed worried, as if something had troubled her.

"Everything okay?" I asked with concern.

Jenna unmuted and looked at me guiltily.

"It was Emma; she said Tim urgently wanted to see us," she said calmly.

I sighed loudly, feeling frustration grow.

"Go, I love you," I said with a small smile on my lips.

Even though I wanted to talk to her more.

Jenna widened her smile and blew a kiss to the camera. "Love you more," she said, smiling broadly, winking at me before ending the call.

I was alone again, the feeling of emptiness returning to fill the room. I looked at the dark screen, trying to process the conflicting emotions inside me. I felt relieved for having spoken up but still worried about what the future held for us.

But I realized it was time to make a drastic decision.

(...)

With the suitcase gripped tightly in my hands, I made my way towards the filming location accompanied by Percy, Jenna's best friend who had volunteered to come with me to ensure everything went smoothly.

As I navigated through the bustling security crowd on set, I reflected on how I had come to make this decision. I had chosen to take the flight to Romania because I felt a deep need to see Jenna. The long weeks of separation had intensified my desire to embrace her again, to feel her presence beside me.

The journey had been an ordeal, with its complications and unexpected expenses, but nothing could stop me. I felt that this gesture was important not only for the two of us but also for the future of our relationship. I was determined to show Jenna how much she meant to me, how much I was willing to do for us.

"I have to admit, it's a bit more challenging to get in here than I thought," I commented with a sigh of frustration as we made our way through the security crowd on set.

Percy nodded with a sympathetic smile.

"I figured. But you know, this is a big surprise you're giving Jenna. She'll be over the moon."

"I really hope so," I replied as Percy offered silent support while we continued to walk.

"Thank you so much for coming to meet me at the entrance and for avoiding the security questions by saying you were with me."

"Don't mention it," Percy replied with a nod.

"We're on the same team."

We exchanged a knowing smile as we continued to make our way through the set, searching for the spot where Jenna was filming.

There was utter chaos.

Cameras moved with precision, people walked frantically to coordinate everything, and Tim Burton's authoritative voice gave directives from behind the scenes.

As we advanced, I noticed Emma sitting in front of a makeup artist, focused as she was being prepared for her scene. With a glance, she gestured with her free hand to indicate where Jenna was.

"I'm going to get ready," Percy said with an apologetic smile, and I nodded weakly.

I left the suitcase in a corner.

Jenna, dressed as Wednesday, was in the middle of the forest on set, with a stern and concentrated look as she tried to get into character. However, her eyes seemed veiled with a subtle sadness. She scanned her surroundings, trying to focus despite the distractions.

Meanwhile, Tim Burton intervened from a distance with his authoritative voice.

"No, Jenna, you need to smile in this scene! Look at your uncle!" he said, trying to guide her performance and set the right atmosphere for the shot.

Jenna sighed loudly, visibly upset by the director's request. "Let's try again," she said determinedly to her crew, preparing for another attempt to capture the required emotion.

As the crew organized for the new take, Jenna finally spotted my figure among the actors and crew present on set.

Her face suddenly lit up with a radiant smile, momentarily forgetting the scene's tensions and focusing all her attention on me.My heart raced at the sight of that genuine smile.

Our gazes met, and time seemed to stand still as Jenna hurried towards me.

"Y/n!" Jenna exclaimed loudly, her voice echoing through the trees on set as she ran towards me.

"STOP!" Tim shouted, and Jenna continues to run "who is y/n?" The producer asked one of his colleagues

Without hesitation, Jenna caught up to me and hugged me tightly like a koala, holding me affectionately and lovingly. I felt the warmth of her body against mine, and my heart filled with joy at her closeness.

"You're really here," Jenna whispered emotionally against my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

Jenna began to cry.

The brunette held the embrace with a strength that conveyed all her love and gratitude. Her tears, warm and salty, began to silently trickle down her cheeks as emotion overwhelmed her.I felt her heart beating strongly against my chest, her breath hitched with the intensity of her emotions.

I stroked her hair, trying to comfort her as she continued to cry.

"I'm here, Jenna," I whispered softly, holding her even closer. "I'm here with you, forever."

Jenna said nothing, but her embrace spoke volumes for her.

It was an embrace that meant more than a thousand words, expressing all our love, our struggle, and our resilience.We remained wrapped in each other's arms, in the silence of the forest on set, while the world around us continued to turn. It was a moment of pure vulnerability and reconnection, a moment we would both cherish in our hearts forever.

It was clear that those tears were tears of joy, gratitude, overcoming fear, and rediscovered love. In that moment, all that mattered was that we were together, embraced and united, ready to face whatever destiny had in store for us.

When Jenna lifted her face from my neck, her eyes shone with renewed intensity. Without saying a word, she began to kiss my face tenderly, leaving a mark of affection on every inch of skin she could reach.

Then, with a sigh full of love, her kisses became more intense and deep, ending on my lips with a passion that reflected her gratitude and the joy of having me close again.Our kisses grew more intense, conveying all the passion accumulated during our separation. I felt the warmth of her body against mine, as my hands gently caressed her back. Jenna responded with the same ardor, as if she wanted to completely merge with me.

Time seemed suspended as we lost ourselves in our embraces and kisses.

Then, slowly, we pulled apart, holding hands and looking into each other's eyes with an intensity that spoke louder than any words.

"Y/N," Jenna whispered, her breath still ragged with emotion. "I've missed you so much. I've wanted you so much."

My lips curved into a tender smile. "I've missed you too, Jenna. You don't know how much I've longed for this moment, to feel you close to me again."Jenna pulled me even closer, as if she wanted to make sure I was really there with her.

"I love you so much," she said sincerely, her brown eyes shining with love.

"I love you more than words can say," I replied firmly, squeezing her hand against my heart. "And I'm here to fight for us, for as long as it takes."

Jenna nodded slowly, a tear of happiness sliding down her cheek.

"Thank you for not giving up on me," she said, her voice moved. "I promise I'll always be here for you."

We embraced again, our hearts beating in unison. In that moment, I knew we were stronger together, ready to face any challenge that came our way.

I would never give up on Jenna, never.

[dalsofile]

trust?

Nayeon discovers that her girlfriend, Y/N, has been hiding a serious illness, leading to a painful confrontation that threatens to break their relationship apart.

tags :: angst, illness, arguments

wc :: 1,571

cast :: nayeon, y/n

song :: waiting room - pheobe bridgers

Nayeon stands in the kitchen, her hands moving with practiced ease as she prepares dinner. The familiar sounds of sizzling vegetables and the rhythmic chop of the knife do little to calm the growing unease in her chest. You’re late—again. It’s been happening more frequently, and Nayeon can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.

She glances at the clock, her worry deepening. Over an hour has passed since you were supposed to be home. Her phone sits silent on the counter, no response to the texts she’s sent. Anxiety gnaws at her, and she tries to push it down, telling herself that you’re just caught up at work, as usual. But a part of her knows that’s not the full truth.

Something has been off for months. She’s noticed it in the way you’ve been distant, the way your laughter doesn’t quite reach your eyes anymore. You’ve been coming home late, your face pale and tired, the dark circles under your eyes growing more prominent. Every time she tries to ask, you brush it off, claiming it’s just stress. But Nayeon knows you better than that.

The front door creaks open, and she feels a mix of relief and dread. She turns off the stove and moves to the entrance, forcing a smile as you step inside. You look exhausted, your shoulders slumped and your skin pale, as if all the life has been drained out of you.

“Hey, you’re home,” Nayeon says, trying to keep her voice light, though it trembles with worry. “I was starting to get worried.”

You offer a weak smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. “Sorry, got held up at work.”

Nayeon studies your face, her heart aching at how tired you look. She steps closer, reaching out to touch your cheek, hoping to offer some comfort, but you flinch away before she can make contact. The small movement stabs at her heart, a confirmation of the distance that’s grown between you.

“What’s going on?” Nayeon asks softly, her voice filled with concern.

“Nothing,” you reply quickly, too quickly, as you move past her towards the bedroom. “I just need to change.”

She follows you, her worry growing with every step. “You’ve been acting strange for weeks. You’re always tired, you’re late, and you never tell me where you’ve been. I’m worried about you.”

You pause in the doorway of the bedroom, your back to her. “I told you, I’m just stressed. Work’s been a lot.”

Nayeon hears the fatigue in your voice, but it doesn’t explain everything. “I know work is hard, but this feels different,” she says, her voice trembling. “I feel like you’re hiding something from me.”

You don’t respond, and the silence is deafening. Nayeon’s heart pounds in her chest as she waits, hoping for some kind of reassurance. But when you don’t say anything, the fear she’s been trying to suppress bubbles to the surface.

“Please, don’t shut me out,” she whispers, taking a step closer, her voice pleading.

Your shoulders tense, and for a moment, Nayeon thinks you might finally open up. But then you sigh, shaking your head.

“I’m not hiding anything,” you say, your voice flat. “I’m just tired, Nayeon. Can we drop it?”

Her heart sinks at your words. She wants to believe you, but the emptiness in your eyes tells her something else entirely. She nods slowly, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“Okay,” she murmurs, though it feels like a lie. “I’ll go finish dinner.”

You don’t say anything as you walk into the bedroom, closing the door behind you. Nayeon stands there for a moment, staring at the closed door, feeling the weight of everything unsaid between you.

As she turns to head back to the kitchen, something catches her eye. Your bag is lying on the floor, half-open, with a small bottle of pills peeking out. Nayeon hesitates, guilt pricking at her conscience as she considers going through your things. But the worry in her chest pushes her forward.

She kneels down and gently pulls the bag open, her breath catching when she sees the bottle of pills. Her hands tremble as she picks it up, turning it over to read the label. It’s a prescription she’s never seen before, and the name of the medication sends a chill down her spine.

She’s not a doctor, but she recognizes the name. The drug is used to treat a serious, chronic illness—something much more than just stress or fatigue. Her heart races as she tries to process what she’s seeing. You’ve been taking these pills, hiding them from her, hiding your illness.

“Y/N?” Nayeon calls out, her voice trembling with a mix of fear and anger.

The bedroom door opens, and you step out, your face going pale as you see the bottle in her hand.

“Nayeon, I can explain—”

“Explain?” Her voice shakes, tears welling up in her eyes. “Explain what? That you’ve been sick this whole time and didn’t tell me? That you’ve been hiding it from me?”

Your face crumples, guilt and regret etched in every line. “I didn’t want you to worry,” you say, your voice breaking. “I didn’t want to burden you with—”

“Burden me?” Nayeon’s voice rises, the anger taking over as she steps closer to you, her grip tightening on the pill bottle. “How could you think that? We’re supposed to be in this together. You don’t get to decide what I can or can’t handle. You don’t get to shut me out like this.”

Tears begin to stream down your face as you shake your head, looking more broken than she’s ever seen you. “I didn’t want you to see me like this. I didn’t want you to feel trapped, like you had to take care of me. I thought I could handle it on my own.”

“Well, you can’t!” The words burst out of her, her voice cracking under the weight of her emotions. “You’re not handling it, Y/N. You’re falling apart, and I’m watching you slip away from me, and I don’t even know why!”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your voice so small, so full of pain. “I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t enough, Y/N.” Nayeon’s voice shakes, the hurt and betrayal cutting deep. “You lied to me. You made me feel like I was going crazy, like I was imagining things. And now... now I don’t even know if I can trust you.”

The room falls into a heavy silence, the air thick with the weight of her words. You look at her, your face crumpling as the reality of what you’ve done sinks in.

“Nayeon, please,” you beg, reaching out to her, desperate to bridge the gap between you. But she takes a step back, shaking her head, her heart breaking at the sight of you so vulnerable, so lost.

“No,” she says, her voice firm even as tears blur her vision. “You don’t get to ask me to forgive you right now. You don’t get to make this okay. Not after what you’ve done.”

Your hand falls back to your side, and you swallow hard, tears streaming down your face. “I... I didn’t know what else to do. I was scared.”

“We could have been scared together,” she whispers, her voice barely holding together. “But now... now I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

The words hit you like a physical blow, and you almost collapse under the weight of them. The room is suffocating, filled with nothing but the sound of your ragged breaths and the unbearable tension hanging between you.

“I think you should go,” Nayeon finally says, her voice hollow, devoid of the love that once filled it. The words feel foreign on her tongue, but she can’t see another way out of the spiral you’re both trapped in.

Your breath hitches, your eyes widening with a fresh wave of panic. “Nayeon, please...”

“Just go,” she repeats, turning her back on you, unable to bear the sight of your shattered expression. “I need some time to think.”

You don’t move at first, as if frozen in place by the realization that you’ve truly hurt her, that you might have lost her. But then you take a shaky breath, forcing your legs to carry you toward the door. Each step is heavy, filled with regret and sorrow that you both know will linger long after tonight.

You reach the door, your hand grasping the handle as if it’s the only thing keeping you upright. You turn back one last time, hoping—praying—that she’ll stop you, that she’ll say something, anything, to make this right. But Nayeon stands with her back to you, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

With a sob of your own, you open the door and step out into the cold night. The door closes behind you, the sound echoing in your heart like the finality of something precious slipping away.

You walk away, the cool night air biting at your skin as tears stream down your face. You thought you were protecting her, sparing her the pain of knowing, but all you’ve done is push her away. The love of your life, the one person you thought you could protect by keeping your illness a secret, is now out of reach.

As you wander aimlessly, your thoughts a whirlwind of regret and anguish, you can’t help but wonder if you’ve lost

[gojos-fr-bae]

Stood up

Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader

Genre: angst to fluff

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Cursing

Three hours.

You waited at that damn restaurant for three excruciating hours receiving a pitiful look from the waitress and you just couldn't handle it anymore.

Your precious boyfriend had let you sit there and feel embarrassment flood you every time you caught someone staring at you before whispering to their date.

He couldn't even bother bother to text or call nor reply to your texts or answer your calls. And as if this all isn't bad enough this wasn't the first but fourth time that month and you couldn't take it anymore.

It's been so long you two spent time together. He always arrived home when you were already asleep and left before you could wake. You were the only one even tying to keep you two together and you were so, so exhausted. You couldn't keep giving your everything to someone and receiving nothing in return, after all you're only human.

And so, driven by pain, you ignored your tears and painful sobs escaping your chest as you packed all your belongings and wrote one last letter to your soon to be former lover.

It hurt you so much to leave knowing you may never love anyone the way you love him, but you had to do this for your own sake and if that meant walking out that front door and not turning back then so be it.

~

It had been a week since you left the house you shared with the love of your life and you had received nothing but silence from his end, and yet today you woke up to 45 missed calls and so many messages from the bastard but you couldn't bring yourself to open them. You knew that if you listened to even one of the voicemails he left your resolve would crumble considering the texts you also received from his students begging you to speak to him and talking about how much of a mess he is.

You were scrolling through their messages when you barely heard the gentle knocking on the door over the rain outside. You had been staying at your friend's that night and as far as you were aware she was spending the night at her boyfriend's so you had no idea who'd be at the door.

You got up, groaning from the headache your crying had caused and began walking towards the door. You opened the door, breath catching at seeing Gojo standing on the other side of the door. He looked up at you and his eyes began tearing up. They were swollen, red and had bags, his cheeks sunken in slightly. It felt like a dagger was jabbed into your heart and was being twisted. You couldn't bare to see him looking so broken.

"H-hi" he whispered, looking at his feet and fidgeting with the hem of his shirt so that you don't see him breaking or hear how his voice cracks.

"Hi"

"May I- umm, may I c-co-come in?" this time you heard how his voice wavered."

"Goj-"

"Please, d-don't call me that"

"Come in" You said, finally noticing how much he was shivering, his hair and clothes soaked.

"Satoru, did you, walk here?"

"Walk, stand outside the building trying to gain the confidence to enter what's the difference?"

"Oh no, I'm so sorry let me get you some spare clothes, I hope I have something that can fit-"

"No no, that won't be necessary I don't plan on staying long."

"Well in that case uhm... how can I help you?"

There was a heavy silence between you two as you stood in the doorway, waiting for him to respond.

"P-please" he croaked, tears beginning to fall down his face, "Please take me back"

"Satoru don't-"

"I'm so, so sorry. I'm such a pathetic and useless boyfriend and It's completely my fault that we split up because I stood you up and hurt you and I know I don't deserve to be forgiven but I'm begging sugar cube please, I can't live without you"

"Satoru you constantly disregarded me and our relationship. You never spoke to me, constantly stood me up and never even bothered to apologise ONCE, It's like you never even loved me in the first place!" You shouted, feeling your tears begin to blur your vision.

"I know and I'm sorry! I feel like and absolute piece of shit but I LOVE YOU Y/N! I love you so much it hurts, I love you so much I almost have a heart attack whenever you smile! And I love you because you are the only one who ever made me feel like that, only one who ever told me that I would be ok who ever held me when I cried, no one else but you!"

"Even if you do I can't keep carrying this relationship alone Satoru! I can't be at peace unless I leave"

"BUT YOU PROMISED!! YOU PROMISED NEVER TO ABANDON ME! PROMISED TO NEVER BREAK MY HEART AND I BELIEVED YOU! I STILL DO SO PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!" You were both sobbing now.

"Satoru, even if I said yes, I know I would never be your first priori-"

"I quit!" He pressed out quickly, looking up to meet your eyes and lacing your hands in his.

"Wh-what"

"I quit at Jujutsu tech immediately after reading your letter a-and I realised that you were right. You were right about everything! I had neglected and mistreated you so much when you deserved none of it and I'm sorry."

You were stunned. flabbergasted even. You knew how important Gojo was to the Jujutsu world and so did he. You were pretty sure that the world would fall into chaos, he was the only person keeping things in balance. And he quit...for you"

"Satoru-"

"Before you say anything, don't worry about money. I already have tons and once I'm head of the clan it practically doubles so I can spoil you the way you deserve to be"

"Goj-"

"And I promise I'll work harder to make you happy. I know I really don't deserve it because I'm a worthless piece of-"

"SATORU GOJO WILL YOU LET ME SPEAK!"

"Yes ma'am" he said, almost in a whisper.

"Did you really quit for me?"

"Yes"

"Do you really love me? "

"More than breathing"

"And are you really going to change?"

"Anything for you"

"Then if we give this one more shot things will really be different?"

"Yes"

"Okay, then let's do it, I mean what's the worst that could happen?"

His face lit up up before he pulled you into a bone crushing hug, burying his head in the crook of your neck.

"Thank you so much, I love you"

"I love you more sweetheart"

"Eh, doubt it"

Yay

© gojos-fr-bae

[kisses4sarang]

Bittersweet

Karina x reader (angst)

_________________________________________

You had always known being with Karina would come with challenges. She had warned you from the start, her voice trembling as she admitted, “My life isn’t just mine anymore. If you’re with me, you’ll have to share me with the world.”

You thought you could handle it. At first, the stolen moments and quiet nights together felt like your own little rebellion against the universe. But as her fame grew, the weight of the secrecy pressed down on you both.

Tonight was one of those nights.

Karina had just returned home after weeks of back-to-back schedules. You sat in the dark living room, the faint hum of the city filtering through the windows. She slipped inside quietly, her shoulders slumped with exhaustion.

“Y/N,” she whispered, dropping her bag by the door.

You stood, your chest tightening. “You’re late. Again.”

“I know, I—”

“You promised you’d be here,” you cut her off, trying to keep your voice steady. “I made dinner, Karina. It’s cold now.”

Her eyes, tired yet apologetic, searched yours. “I didn’t mean to. My schedule ran late, and—”

“It always does,” you snapped. The frustration you had buried for months bubbled to the surface. “Do you even know how lonely it’s been? Waiting for you, wondering if you’ll even remember I exist?”

Karina flinched at your words. “That’s not fair. You know how much this career means to me.”

“And what about us?” you countered, your voice breaking. “Do we mean anything to you anymore?”

Her silence was deafening.

You took a shaky breath, your heart aching as tears pricked your eyes. “I don’t think I can do this anymore, Karina. I love you, but… I feel like I’m fighting for something you’ve already let go of.”

“No!” she said, stepping closer. Her hands trembled as she reached for yours. “Y/N, don’t say that. I—I know I’ve been distant, but it doesn’t mean I don’t care. I just… I don’t know how to balance everything.”

Her confession softened your anger but didn’t erase the hurt. “I don’t want to be a secret anymore, Karina. I don’t want to be the only one fighting to make this work.”

Karina’s tears finally spilled over. “I never wanted to hurt you. I thought I could protect you by keeping us hidden, but… I see now that I’ve only pushed you away.”

You stood there, the weight of her words filling the silence. For the first time in months, you saw the vulnerability behind her polished idol image—the fear of losing you.

“I don’t know if we can fix this,” you said quietly.

“We can,” Karina whispered, her voice trembling with desperation. “Please, Y/N. I’ll do better. I’ll find a way. Just… don’t give up on us.”

Her plea broke through your walls. You wanted to believe her, to give her—and your love—a second chance.

_________________________________________

[redocity]

Hiii i love your writing!! Currently keeping me alive 😩 im begging for some angst hurt to comfort. Maybe something involving abby but ultimately a happy ending?

MOVING ON - E.BUCKLEY

buck was finally taking the step to move out of abby’s apartment, except it’s not exactly that easy.

WARNINGS: buck has a minor breakdown oops, minor abby slander, happy ending

buck x fem!reader II hurt/comfort Il 2.3k Il requests open!

a/n: thank you for the request! і love writing angsty stuff

₊ ⊹ masterlist!!

Buck had finally decided that he’d had enough.

He wasn’t going to wait for Abby to come home anymore. He needed to move on. It’d been almost five months since she’d left, and five months of the team trying to convince him she wasn’t coming back.

He’d given up trying to convince them all that their relationship was just ‘unconventional’ by now, and after a particularly lonely Friday night he decided it was time to make a move.

"Can you believe it? After five months? I’m finally moving out of her apartment." Buck lugs a half filled cardboard box over to the dining table, dropping it down with a thud.

“I’m proud’a you,” You tap his shoulder with your hand as an indication for him to move, laughing with a roll of your eyes. “Glad you actually got to this point,”

He makes no resistance to your silent instruction, shifting to lean his back against a clear area of the table and watching as you rifle through the box to properly organise his horrible packing job. "I know you were all sick of me moaning about her. I still can’t believe she just up and left me like that."

“It was definitely a dick move, but if we’re being honest here she didn’t deserve you anyway,” You wave off his unspoken apology for talking your ear off for the last few months with your hand.

“I just thought we were really something you know? Then she up and leaves out of nowhere,” Buck sighs. He was sick of her, he was sick of the fact she’d left him with nothing but a half-arsed explanation and an empty promise of them staying in touch.

But sometimes he can’t help but reminisce on how she used to make him feel and believe that maybe she really was going to come home. “She was supposed to be the one, I can’t believe I was so stupid."

“Unfortunately Buck,” You reach over the table to grab the packing tape, it making a harsh noise as you rip off a piece to tape the - now neatly organised - box. “That how real dating works,”

"No, this wasn’t ‘real’ dating. Real dating doesn’t involve her leaving after she said I could move in, she didn’t even say a real goodbye, I had to find out that she wasn’t coming back from an Instagram post of her kissing some random guy in Thailand." Buck’s voice plainly displayed his emotional exhaustion.

He didn’t want to think about Abby anymore, but it was just so hard to get her out of his head when he really thought that their relationship was going somewhere.

“Head up mister,” You tap your middle and index fingers against the underside of his chin with a sigh. “There’s plenty more fish in the sea,”

Buck laughed exasperatedly. He hated that quote, it always felt so insincere. Then again that was probably because he’s used it so many times in the past when turning down his previous hookups who wanted a more serious relationship.

Now he was on the other end of it, and it just felt ironic.

“You just don’t get it, we were a perfect match for each other,” Buck exhales dramatically, turning his head up to the ceiling. "She was beautiful. She was kind. She was smart. Our sex life was perfect, she was exactly who I was looking for but she left. She just up and left."

“It happens unfortunately,” You shrug your shoulders slightly. “Especially with someone who was dealing with so many personal issues like she was,” You give up on your organising for now as you entertain Buck’s want to get everything off his chest.

“Looks like you finally got a taste of your own medicine hey?” Your attempt at lightening the mood a little is met by a roll of Buck’s eyes and a sigh.

You had a point to an extent, he’d never really dealt with a real breakup before even though he’d been with plenty of other women. "What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Everyone’s gotta experience heartbreak at some point, it’s part of your character development,” You mirror the way he’s leaning against the dining table yourself, pressing your lower back against the wood with your arms crossed.

"I don’t think I needed that character development," Buck sighed once again, "I wish I wasn’t experiencing it right now. I just wish she’d call me or even send me something, anything. Tell me she’s not coming back properly you know?"

He’d probably try to convince her into a long distance relationship if she did call him. But he wasn’t going to tell you that part. He was supposed to be moving on.

“I deleted her number from your phone so… she’s not going to,”

“You did what?” You could hear the immediate hurt in Buck’s tone at your confession, demonstrated further by the way his eyes turned to you in astonishment. “Why would you do that?”

“Because, you are trying to physically move on,” You gesture towards the cardboard boxes that are littered around the apartment containing Buck’s belongings. “But you haven’t mentally moved on, you need both otherwise you’re gonna crash,”

Buck hated that you were right.

You were always right.

You always knew what was best for him when he didn’t even realise what was best for himself.

"I hate that all you do is say the right things at the right time."

“It’s a talent of mine,” You nudge him gently with a smile, again trying to lift up the mood a little.

Sometimes he hated that you were so kind too.

Some twisted part of him wished that you would do something wrong, that you would say the wrong thing and give him an excuse to let out all of his pent up frustration without feeling bad about it afterwards.

But you never did. And he didn’t know whether it was a blessing or a curse.

Then he started thinking about Abby again, of course he did. She was like a parasite that had burrowed a little cavity in his brain and wouldn’t leave no matter how many times he hit himself over the head.

He’d never had a truly vulnerable conversation with her when they were together. Not without the sole focus being on her or her mother’s health. He couldn’t remember a conversation that they’d had that was actually about his problems.

He couldn’t hate her for that. Of course not. She was going through a lot. But it really put into perspective who was the primary giver of their relationship. And it’s starting to make him question whether it was authentic in the first place.

Did she see it as a proper relationship like he did? Or was she using it as a distraction from all of the stress she had looking after her mother all the time?

He didn’t even realise he was tearing up until a drop of water hit the back of his hand.

“Are you alright?” You turned your head towards him after noticing how he’d gone quiet, his head lowered to a point where you couldn’t fully see the expression on his face.

“I don’t know-” His words said one thing, but the way he shook his head said something else. He was very clearly not okay.

“Buck…” You sigh softly at his tone, sounding a little forced as if he was scared of his voice breaking halfway through his sentence.

“Can I have a hug? Please?” He asked his question hesitantly, no longer trying to hide the wavering in his tone. He felt stupid for feeling like this over something that was seemingly so trivial to him in the past, but right now he didn’t feel like doing anything but crying until he physically couldn’t anymore.

He felt even stupider acting like this in front of you of all people. You’d dealt with enough of his baggage already, and he didn’t want to do to you what Abby had done to him in essentially using you as a human diary.

You don’t hesitate in your answer at all. “C’mere,”

You barely even open your arms before the space is filled by Buck, his head hidden against the shoulder of your t-shirt to hide his expression from you.

You lean your weight fully against the edge of the table as you envelop him into a hug, rubbing your hand up and down his back in your best attempt at physically soothing him as he lets out a soft cry into your shoulder.

A fully grown man crying into the arms of someone half his size because he couldn’t handle a breakup. Who would’ve thought?

The longer you held him the less he felt like he had to be embarrassed about it. Somebody had his back, and he didn’t ever want that to end.

“You’re gonna be alright,” The hand that wasn’t gently rubbing soothing lines over his back cupped the back of his neck, holding his head securely against your shoulder.

You knew he was going to break down eventually. You were just glad he had someone present during it.

"Thank you," Buck whispered to you as he began to calm down, "Thank you so much."

Embracing you felt like home, the first time in a long time that he’d felt like he had support. Like he could be himself.

He didn’t want to move, didn’t want to let go, and for the first time in a while he felt as if everything would be okay.

“Don’t mention it,” You make no move to pull away from the hug once he’s calm enough to speak to you again, content to wait until Buck was comfortable enough to pull away in his own time.

He didn’t seem like he was going to let go any time soon.

“Can we just stay like this forever?” Buck’s voice is muffled against your shoulder as he speaks, and he links his arms together behind your waist. “That would be nice,”

You laugh shortly at the question, your shoulders shaking slightly as you do and in turn jostling Buck slightly in your arms. “I think my legs would give out after a while, you’re heavy you know,”

"They’d get stronger eventually," Buck muttered, "We could work out together. I could train you."

Buck was enjoying this more than he wanted to admit but, as usual, his mouth spoke before his brain had a chance to control it. He was just glad that you hadn’t actually pulled away yet.

“You can’t train me to do anything if you won’t let go,”You continue to laugh softly at his proposition as your hand scratches gently at the hairs at nape of his neck.

“You can just hold me then,” He drops the idea almost immediately under the favour of staying securely in your arms.

He’d never hugged any of his friends like this before, although he supposes he’s never actually wanted to. But here he is nonetheless, and it was probably the most comfortable he’d ever been in his life.

He just wanted to stay in the little cocoon your arms provided him away from reality for the rest of his life, maybe longer than that. The only question was whether you’d entertain his idea of abandoning everything productive you were supposed to be doing so that he could satiate his desire to stay exactly where he was.

“Not standing up,” You shake your head against the side of his with a small chuckle. “My legs are already starting to hurt,”

“On the couch then? We can watch that movie you were talking about,”

“We still have packing to finish Buckley,”

“Tomorrow,” Buck shakes his head as he makes a move to separate himself from you, although not fully as his hands still lay carefully positioned on your sides. “I genuinely cannot do any more packing today,”

You raise an eyebrow at him and he tilts his head at you with a sigh. “Come on, humour me here I’m emotionally vulnerable,”

He slips one of his hands towards your wrist and gives it a small tug, his grip loose enough that if you wanted to pull your arm away from him you could do so with minimal effort. You don’t of course, allowing him to tug you forward until you’re not leaning against the table any more, your weight fully supported on your feet. “We can watch that movie, order a pizza and I can wallow in my emotions for a few hours until I’m mentally fit to continue packing,”

“Sounds like you’re just trying to procrastinate,” You furrow your eyebrows accusingly, but the smile on your face betrays your feigned scolding, just grateful that he was sound enough to joke about his own misery now that he’d actually had the chance to vent his emotions.

“Oh I definitely am,” Buck’s smile mirrors yours emphatically, and he starts towards the living room with your wrist in his hand so you’re ‘forced’ to follow him. “I hate packing, it’s boring and everyone always tells me I’m doing it wrong,”

[libraryofloveletters]

Almost Isn't Always

Ruben Dias x Fem!Reader

Warnings: break ups, hidden relationships, one side of the story left untold, erling tries to shield him from the heartbreak, made up stats for a CL game, john is on 'ruben watch', alcohol and the consumption of, drunk texts/calls, drunk ruben, unspoken feelings equals heart break, blame is low-key on ruben, real madrid warning for those who don't like them lmao and a bit of reader x jude.

Word Count: 3.7k

Author's Note: per @themandaloriansdiaries request, she asked me to break her heart last night so here you go, I hope I make all of you upset in the best way possible <3

---

"Look," Erling turns his phone towards the man next to him, John leans over to see what was on the screen; Y/N L/N - Ex-Girlfriend of Man City Player, Ruben Dias, spotted out with another player.

The headline was garage and yet, John found himself taking the phone from Erling to scroll through the article. There are photos of you from your recent vacation, you're cuddled up with a guy but the photos aren't clear enough to make out who the player was, or if it was even a player.

"It's nonsense," John hands the phone back to Erling. "They just broke up, it's barely been six months. I don't think she's moved on already."

Erling locks his phone when he sees Ruben come into the locker room, his eyes shifting to the two of them and the sudden halt into their conversation doesn't go unnoticed by the defender.

"What's nonsense ?" He asks, dropping his towel on his seat as he looks for his shirt.

Erling shook his head, looking away but John didn't have the heart to lie to Ruben. He knew Ruben wouldn't lie to him if he was in that situation; he was always straightforward with people, it's only fair that John returns the gesture.

He takes the phone from the blonde, unlocking it and handing it over to Ruben. The Portuguese player scrolls through the article, pausing on what John can only assume was the photos of you and the other guy. Erling looks at John, who looks between him and Ruben, waiting for their teammate to say something.

"Is it true?" Ruben asks, finally handing the phone back over to John. His friend shrugs, "I don't think so. Y/n wouldn't do that to you."

"But you're not together anymore," Erling blurts, giving Ruben an apologetic look after his words as John glares at him, a look that says are you serious.

Ruben shrugs it off, pulling his shirt over his head. He picks up his bag, "heading out already?" Erling asks him.

"Yeah, training's got me exhausted." He fibs, grabbing his hoodie and his phone. "I'll see you guys later." He waves to his teammates before stepping out. He can hear John asking Erling why he would even say something like that before he turned, walking away from the locker room.

Ruben was pissed; he shouldn't be but he was.

He knew Erling was right, you weren't together and you didn't owe him anything but still, it hurts if it's true.

His knuckles are white from how tightly he's gripping the steering wheel, he doesn't even register the blistering feeling until he pulls into the driveway. His phone was in the cupholder and he couldn't help himself; picking it up and opening Instagram.

Carefully, he types your user into the search bar. He's met with a photo of you smiling on the couch as your profile picture; a picture he took. Ruben had unfollowed you after the breakup, he felt it would be best for him to detach himself from you and focus on his career rather than the heartbreak he was going through.

Nothing's changed since the last time he was on your page; there's the addition of a photo dump from your trip to Spain with your best friend but he goes through the photos, zooming up like Jack had shown him since before, trying to find a glimpse of this mystery man. The likes and comments were useless, there's nothing of importance in there. Just the usual set of people, your best friends, the girlfriends of the man city players, a few of his teammates - by few, it's just Erling and Jack.

A part of him wants to message you, to see how you are, to find out if there's any substance behind the photos he saw but he stops himself.

He knows he can't, that's just creepy. No need to be the stalker ex- boyfriend.

--

They've won their game the day before and they're off for the next 3 days; Jack's birthday just so happened to be the day after the match they just played, and he figured what's better than a party for his teammates to unwind a bit?

Music was blaring through the speakers, food all over the counters, liquor bottles between; there's a game of beer pong being played on their dining room table.

Ruben found his way to the kitchen, pulling a red solo glass from the stack before filling it halfway with some clear liquor - he wasn't exactly able to read the label at the moment. He poured what he assumed was some kind of juice into the cup before walking- wobbling- his way over to the bench in the hallway and having a seat.

He takes a sip of the contents in the glass, between the sour taste of the cranberry juice and burning of the liquor, his head spun for the millionth time that evening.

The phone buzzed in his pocket, he saw someone had replied to the story he posted for Jack's birthday but he got sidetracked by the thought of you. He holds the cup by the rim between his teeth as he searches for your number.

It's right where he left it.

He hits the message button, the chat opening. It's blank; he deleted everything he had of you - something he often regretted.

So he makes it his mission to fill it back up.

From Ruben: hi

From Ruben: y/nnnnnnn

From Ruben: hi y/n :)))))))))))

From Ruben: its jadks birthday where r u

From Ruben: miss yoou

The three little bubbles pop up in the bottom left corner, Ruben stops typing and waits for your message.

To Ruben: I know it's Jack's birthday.

From Ruben: fid u tell him happy birthdays

To Ruben: I did.

To Ruben: are you okay, rubes?

The nickname warms his heart, the sliver of hope he held felt as if it had purpose now.

From Ruben: yes are you coming to jaclk's party

To Ruben: I'm not.

From Ruben: why mot it's his birthday u should be herre

To Ruben: I'm not home, Ruben.

From Ruben: so coem home

To Ruben: I'm not in the country.

Ruben stares at the text, the anger bubbling up in him again. His fingers moving quickly over the keyboard as he types the next message.

From Ruben: so you're wit hyour new man? hwo could u do that to me? to us

The three bubbles appear in the left corner again but then they disappear, instead your face pops up. You're calling him.

Ruben panics for a second, unsure if he should answer but he does. "Hello?" He says, the phone pressed to his ear and a finger pressed over his other so he can hear you.

"Hi Ruben, are you okay?"

"Yes, why?" He spat, you can hear the anger in his voice. "Your messages are all weird, you're spelling words wrong. Are you drunk?"

"So what if I am? You don't control me, y/n."

"I know that," you tell him, rolling your eyes. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay but clearly you are."

Ruben feels bad, he shouldn't have spoken to you like that. "Wait y/n, I'm-" "I have to go, Ruben." You cut him off, "take care of yourself." Was the last thing you said to him before hanging up.

He's sitting in the hallway, slouched against the wall as he sips on the watered down, sour cup of warm liquor and he can't help but feel sorry for himself. How did he end up here? Ruben had everything; an amazing career, a wonderful girlfriend who loved and supported him through everything. He can't seem to figure out where he went wrong.

Someone appears in front of him and he looks up, squinting as he looks at the man. John sighs, taking the cup from his friend and smelling it.

"Mate," he grimaces at the smell alone. "How many of these did you have?"

"I don't know," Ruben admits to him. John, too, was wondering how Ruben ended up in this situation.

He helps his friend up, holding him by the arm as he walks him down the hall to the guest room. John puts him to sit down, moving the trash can from the bathroom to by the bed. Ruben's eyes were fluttering shut, the liquor finally kicking his ass. John pulls Ruben's shoes off, setting them beside the bed.

John pats Ruben's face, he opens his eyes a bit; "why'd you have to text her?" He asks him and Ruben's brows furrow. "Wh- what?"

"Nothing," John shakes his head, "call for me if you need anything," he says, leaving Ruben to sleep it off.

---

Etihad Stadium; the home of Manchester City and the stadium for today's game.

They were playing a Champions League match against Real Madrid. The boys were hyper focused on winning this game, just as they had done with the previous game.

Ruben was distracted, everyone could see that; everyone but Ruben.

In some ways, he knew this wasn't good for him. Obsessing over you when you've clearly moved on with your life, it's not good for him, it's not good for you.

As he made his way down to the locker room, a glimpse of a woman caught his eye in passing; long hair, the same complexion as you - surely you wouldn't be there. Especially not in a Real Madrid jersey; you always told him white wasn't your colour. Plus, the Madrid players were wearing their away jerseys, which were black.

Ruben convinces himself that he's seeing things, quickly making his way down the stairs and through the hallway to get ready.

"Yeah man, she looks good - happy." Jack says, pulling his socks down a bit. Erling nods, "I thought so too."

"Who looks good?" Ruben asks his teammates, starting to get ready for the game. Jack shares a glance with Erling before the taller blonde speaks.

"Jack saw y/n the other morning."

Ruben freezes; his heart feels as if it's going to jump out of his chest. "You saw.. y/n?" He looks at Jack, the man nods. "Yeah, she was at the bakery, getting coffee with- "

"With who?"

"Her sister," Jack answers quickly, not wanting to tell Ruben who he actually saw you with.

"Does she still overflow her cup with whipped cream?" Ruben smiles to himself at the memory of you.

Jack hums, dropping the topic. The last thing they needed was Ruben falling into a spiral right now.

It was too late, all of the things were adding up in his head, Ruben connected the dots one by one as he got dressed; you had gone to Spain on vacation and then you got spotted with a footballer. You aren't in the country for Jack's birthday and now he thinks he's seen a woman in a Real Madrid jersey, here, today, when they play Real Madrid, who looks like your carbon copy.

"Are you listening?" John nudged his leg when Pep walked in, the man started briefing them before the match. Ruben pushes the thoughts away, trying to focus on what Pep was saying.

It's a short walk to the tunnel, the boys head out into the pitch and Ruben finds himself looking at the away section, wondering if he'd spot you up there.

The match was brutal; Madrid kept them on their toes, as was expected, the entire match. A goal from Kevin at 42' put them up 1-0 over their opponents going into the half. Coming back at 56' was a goal from Jude which equaled the match. Finally, in the 87th minute, Ruben scores and they manage to run out the clock without going into overtime.

Nothing beats this feeling; a win at home was one of the best feelings you could have as a player. They were riding a high so to speak as they walked off the pitch. Most of the guys headed up to see their families that had come to the game and Ruben was going up to say hello to John's kids who had come to see their dad play.

He ended up hanging out John and the kids for a bit, holding the little man on his lap as they chatted.

Across the room he can see Jack with Sasha and the woman he spotted earlier. He's seeing her from the back, her hair covering the name on her back but he could make out the number; 5.

5 belonged to one player, their newest addition; Jude Bellingham.

Ruben felt sick when the woman turned; the smile on her face was one he had grown to love and still does, the same smile he used to wake up to, the same one he dreams about every night.

Your head tipped back, nose scrunched up as you laughed at what Jack said. You smiled at them, turning when you see John's daughter shouting for auntie y/n.

John tried to stop her but it was too late, she came running towards you and you excused yourself from the couple, bending down to hug the little girl. You held her hand as she walked you over to her dad so you could see her little brother.

"He's adorable." You smile at John, your hand on his shoulder as you admire the baby that Ruben held. You avoided your ex boyfriend's gaze, speaking to John and his little girl.

John glances at the baby, "do you want to hold him?"

"Could I?" You smiled, sitting next to John.

The man glances at his friend, John gets up to take the boy from him but Ruben stands, carefully making his way over to you and handing the boy over to you, arms tangled together as he slowly moves his hands away when you hold the baby. "Awh," you cooed, fixing his little Man City jersey. "Don't tell me it says Stones on the back," you glanced at John.

The words come out without him even thinking; "not like it would say Dias," John laughs. You can't help but look in the direction of Ruben, the man was already walking away and over to Erling who was a few feet away.

By the time Ruben looks back over at you, you were cuddled up on the couch with John's children, something that was a norm when you two dated as you would often babysit them. John took a photo of the three of you, you and his daughter giggling over something the baby did.

Ruben was so focused on you that he hadn't noticed the man that's walking towards Erling. "Mate!" He called, his hand stretched out towards his friend. Erling grins, pulling Jude into a hug. "Missed you man! How are you?"

"Good good, I mean, we lost but you know.. how are you?"

"Been good, can't complain." Erling tells him and Jude glances at Ruben. "Hey," he nods at the other man, Ruben looks over at him, nodding back.

Ruben's eyes follow Jude's steps over to you, the man standing behind the couch before he leans down to kiss your head. You lean back, smiling at him before he reaches over and rubs the baby's hand, the man walking around to say hello to John; he always forgets they know each other. John looks over in the direction of his friend, you can't help but look as well.

He was already walking away; the same nauseous feeling that you got when you left him resurfaced and all you wanted to do was leave, leave as fast as you could.

You stand up, carefully passing the baby back to John, giving him a quick hug before saying goodbye to his daughter. You and Jude were off for the evening, you stopped for him to say hello to a few of his teammates from the national team; all of them asking when you're coming back for a visit and you promised them soon before you two finally managed to leave.

---

The smell of baked goods and coffee welcomed you, the door of the bakery shut behind you. It was fairly empty, a few people scattered through the place as you stood in line, waiting to order.

After you order, you move to the side to wait. Your phone buzzes, it's your boyfriend.

From Jude: will you get the chocolate cookie I like?

To Jude: ordered 4 of them, that's enough?

From Jude: don't tell coach if I eat all three.

You smile, slipping your phone back into your pocket before the bell on the door chimes. You glance over your shoulder to see the one person you had been trying to avoid since you came home.

Ruben's eyes meet yours and you look away. The two of you end up standing beside each other after he orders, the awkward tension building by the second and you can't take it anymore.

Your eyes are fixed on the floor, waiting until the woman calls your number and passes the bag over to you. You can't get out of there fast enough but you stopped just outside the door to fix your coat.

Before you can walk off, someone calls for you; the same someone you tried so hard to forget.

Ruben stood across from you when you turned around, the two of you looking at each other. You sigh, unsure why you even stopped but you didn't have the heart to walk away from him.

You did it once and it almost killed you. You can't do it again, not so soon at least.

"Why didn't you tell me you were home?" He asks. Him referring to Manchester as your home angered you. It was your home but he had no right to say it like that, like he was your home.

You bite back the urge to roll your eyes, "I didn't know I needed to update you on my whereabouts."

"You don't," he says, "but we're friends, aren't we, y/n?"

You scoff, shrugging. "I don't know, Ruben."

The silence falls over the two of you again. It was late, the streets were fairly empty except for the occasional car passing by. Ruben stood that, as if he was thinking what to say next.

Just as you go to turn, he speaks; "Why Jude?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why'd you choose him?"

You cannot believe the audacity of this man. After everything, he still felt like he could question your choices. You sighed, rolling your eyes this time. "I don't need to explain my choices to you, Ruben."

He repeats himself, "you don't, but I'm curious."

"If you're so curious," you start, shoving your hands into your pockets, the handle of the bag loops around your wrist. "Jude's good to me. He makes time for me, he loves me, Ruben. He never makes me feel like I'm a burden to him."

"You say that as if I made you feel like you were a burden, y/n."

"You did, Rubes." You tell him, the nickname that once held love now tied the harsh sentence up with a bow. "I understand that you had just moved to the team and you wanted to focus on that and your career but you neglected me. When I did ask you for some time, which was very rare because I knew you were busy, you made it feel like spending time with your girlfriend, with me, was a chore; a burden."

Ruben stood there, unsure what to say as he listened to you tear into him.

"It wasn't fair for me to stay somewhere where I knew I wasn't going to be valued the way I should. I'm not saying you didn't love me, Ruben, but you and I both know there were a lot of things wrong with our relationship. You never loved me the way I loved you."

You looked at the man, you could see the sadness across his expression and as much as it broke your heart to see him like that, he deserved to know how you felt.

"Jude never does that to me, Ruben. He treats me with respect and he loves me, I know he does. It's obvious, I don't have to read between the lines like I did with you."

It felt like a weight was off your shoulders now that you finally told him how you felt. For a long time after your break up, you held a resentment towards him and you finally let go.

It felt good to be free of that, of him.

"I didn't-" he starts but you stop him, "I have to go." You move your hands from your pocket to hold the bag properly, "the pastries are getting cold."

"Okay," was all he said before you turned and walked the other way.

When you arrived back at the hotel, Jude was in the shower. The bathroom door left slightly ajar, you could hear his humming over the running shower and you smiled to yourself.

You hang your coat over the back of the chair, next plugging your phone to charge before unpacking the boxes from the bag.

"I didn't hear you come in," Jude says, stepping out of the bathroom. Your boyfriend presses a kiss to your cheek, reaching around you to snag a chocolate cookie from the box.

You smile, "you were in the shower, I figured you would be done soon and I was right." The man nods, sitting on the couch with the towel around his waist, eating his cookie. You pick out a donut, taking a bite before closing the box. You were about to join Jude on the couch when your phone buzzed.

Reaching over, you pick it up to see who it was.

From Ruben: I'm sorry, y/n.

From Ruben: I really am.

"Who is it babe?" Jude leaned back on the couch, looking at you. You set the phone down, walking over to him. "Jack. He said Sasha wanted to have lunch before we head home."

"It'd be nice," Jude smiles at you, his arm around your shoulders when you sit next to him. "Tell him yeah then."

"I will," you nod, "later."

---

taglist: @thesnailus @alwaysclassyeagle @lettersfromvenus @mehrmonga @callsignvenus @kmc1989 @valentinehrts @pulpfixion @ironmaiden1313 @candacels

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[theonottsbxtch]

NO TIME TO DIE PT.2 | OP81

an: imma just drop this off and run in the other direction, might have to mute my notifs after this SORRY

summary: a continuation of the skyfall series, following a peaceful few months away from the world they were so used to, they were found again. this time neither of them knew what could happen.

wc: 5.6k

part one

The guards dragged her out of the lab, rough hands gripping her arms as they led her back through the compound. But as her body moved on autopilot, her mind was somewhere else, racing through everything that had just happened. The prototype. Oscar. The syringe. Lando’s chilling words echoed in her head, twisting like a knife in her chest.

Neural reboot.

But even in the chaos, she hadn’t hesitated. The moment Lando had distracted everyone with his attack on Oscar, she’d slipped the prototype into her pocket. She didn’t even know if it was worth it anymore. What good was retrieving some tech if she couldn’t save Oscar from what had been done to him?

They shoved her into the back of a van, her heart pounding with a mix of fear and fury. She needed to get back to Toto, needed answers, and most of all, she needed to figure out how to undo what they’d done to Oscar.

Hours later, when the van door finally opened, she was hauled out and escorted into another sterile, concrete building—Toto’ base of operations. The guards said nothing as they led her through narrow hallways, finally depositing her in a dimly lit office where Toto waited, sitting casually behind a desk, sipping a glass of whiskey.

He glanced up as she was pushed inside, his eyes sweeping over her with a calm, almost bored expression. He waved the guards away, motioning for her to sit.

She ignored the chair, standing tall despite the exhaustion weighing on her. “I got it,” she said, her voice hard. She pulled the small device from her pocket and tossed it onto his desk.

Toto leaned forward, eyeing the prototype with mild interest before picking it up, turning it over in his hand. “Well done,” he said with a nod of approval. “I knew you wouldn’t let me down.”

Her fists clenched at her sides, her blood boiling at his casual tone. “Where’s Oscar?” she demanded, her voice sharp. “What did they do to him?”

Toto set the device down and leaned back in his chair, swirling the amber liquid in his glass. “Oscar is… complicated. He’s Zak’s property now. The neural reboot—well, that’s out of my control.”

Her heart sank, but the fire in her chest burned hotter. “You promised us both. You said we’d get out of this together.”

Toto raised an eyebrow, unperturbed by her rising anger. “I said I’d protect you. And I have. Oscar… he’s not my responsibility anymore.”

She took a step forward, her eyes blazing. “You promised, Toto! You said we could have a clean slate. Both of us.”

He set his glass down, his expression hardening slightly. “That was before Oscar became a liability. He’s not the same man anymore—he’s a weapon. And weapons have a way of becoming dangerous if left unchecked.”

Her breath caught in her throat. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Toto wasn’t just abandoning Oscar—he was writing him off, turning him into another disposable asset. Her hands shook with rage, but she held herself together, barely.

“You knew,” she said, her voice low, venomous. “You knew what Lando would do. You let it happen.”

Toto didn’t deny it. Instead, he sighed, leaning forward with a condescending look. “Oscar was always going to be a problem. His ties to you… well, they’ve clouded his judgement. Zak saw the opportunity to bring him back into the fold. I couldn’t stop that.”

She shook her head, disbelief flooding her chest. “You’re a coward. You used us. You set this all up so Zak could take him, didn’t you?”

His eyes narrowed, but he remained calm. “I did what needed to be done. And I got the prototype, didn’t I? You’re still alive, which is more than I can say for most of Zak’s targets.”

She clenched her fists, her mind racing. She wanted to scream at him, to tear apart the office in a fit of rage, but she knew it wouldn’t help. Toto wasn’t the type to be swayed by emotions. He only cared about results.

But she wasn’t about to let Oscar slip away. Not like this.

“I’m not leaving him behind,” she said through gritted teeth, her voice shaking with determination. “I’ll find a way to fix him, to get him back.”

Toto chuckled, shaking his head. “Fix him? You really think there’s a way to reverse what Zak’s done? You’re more naïve than I thought.”

“I don’t care what you think,” she spat, taking a step closer to him. “You promised, Toto. You owe us this.”

For a moment, Toto was silent, his gaze steady on hers. Then he leaned back in his chair, considering her words. There was a long pause, the tension thickening in the air between them.

Finally, he let out a slow breath. “Fine. You want to save Oscar? I’ll give you a chance.”

Her heart leaped, but she didn’t let her guard down. There was always a catch.

“But understand this,” Toto continued, his voice colder now. “If you fail, if Oscar becomes a threat to me, or to the mission… I won’t hesitate to neutralise him. You’ll be on your own, and you won’t get another chance.”

She nodded, her jaw tight. “I’ll take it. But if you try to cross me again, Toto, I won’t hesitate to take you down.”

A flicker of amusement passed over his face. “Noted. Now, get some rest. You’ll need it.”

She turned and walked out of the office, her mind already spinning with plans, strategies, anything that might give her the edge she needed to save Oscar. She wasn’t going to let him become another one of Zak’s weapons. No matter what it took.

She knew the day was coming. Every instinct screamed it—the mission, the inevitable confrontation. Oscar would be out there, somewhere, doing what he’d been programmed to do. The man she loved had been turned into a weapon, a soldier with no past, no future—just orders.

Every day since she’d left Toto’ office had been the same. The weight of knowing that Oscar was gone, at least for now, drove her. She couldn’t afford to be weak, not when the stakes were so high. She had to be better, faster, stronger than ever before.

For weeks, she trained with Lewis and George. They’d been through hell together before, but this time it felt different. This time, it was personal.

The sound of fists hitting pads echoed through the training facility. She moved with ruthless precision, her punches quick and controlled, sweat dripping down her face as she drove Lewis backward. He held up the pads, his jaw clenched in focus, blocking every hit as she attacked, relentless.

“Come on, hit harder,” Lewis grunted, his voice muffled behind the padding.

She growled, her muscles burning, and launched another flurry of punches. Her fists ached, but she pushed through it, her mind sharpening with every blow.

Lewis absorbed her hits with practised ease, but he couldn’t hide the strain in his voice. “You’re going to burn out before the mission even starts if you keep this up.”

She ignored him, her breath ragged as she drove her fist forward again. She couldn’t afford to slow down. Not now.

Behind her, George was watching from the edge of the mat, arms crossed, his brow furrowed in concern. “You’re gonna kill yourself at this rate,” he called out. “Take a break.”

She shot him a glare. “I don’t have time for breaks.”

Lewis dropped his hands, stepping back as she readied for another hit. “This isn’t just about getting stronger, you know. You can’t out-punch the situation with Oscar.”

Her jaw clenched at the mention of his name. “I know that,” she snapped, her fists still raised. “But I need to be ready. I need to be—”

“Ready for what?” Lewis interrupted, lowering the pads entirely now. “To fight him? To save him? You don’t even know what state he’ll be in when we find him.”

She froze, her hands still hovering in the air. The reality of it hit her like a cold wave—she had no idea what Oscar would be like when she saw him again. Would he remember her? Would he still be the man who’d saved her all those months ago, or would he be nothing but Zak’s puppet?

“I have to be ready for anything,” she said quietly, lowering her hands slowly. Her voice trembled slightly, and she hated it. “I won’t let him destroy himself. Or us.”

Lewis’ expression softened, but George stepped forward, his voice cutting through the tension. “We all know what Oscar meant to you. But if it comes to it, if he’s beyond saving—”

“Don’t.” Her voice was sharp, cutting him off. She turned to George, her eyes fierce. “He’s not beyond saving. I’ll get him back.”

George sighed but didn’t argue. They both knew that Oscar’s conditioning might be too far gone, that whatever had been injected into him could have erased everything he was. But she couldn’t let herself think like that. Not yet.

Lewis stepped closer, wiping sweat from his brow. “You’re not alone in this, you know. We’re with you. Whatever happens, we’ll handle it together.”

She nodded, though the knot in her stomach didn’t loosen. She appreciated Lewis’ words, but deep down, she knew that when it came to Oscar, it would be on her. No one else could understand the connection they had, the bond that had formed despite everything that had tried to pull them apart.

“Thanks,” she muttered, turning back to the centre of the mat. “But I still need to be ready.”

Lewis gave her a knowing look but picked up the pads again without protest. “Alright. Let’s keep going, then.”

She fell into rhythm again, her body moving with a familiar grace. This time, the punches were smoother, more calculated. Each strike was a reminder of what she was fighting for, not just who.

George circled around her, calling out orders. “Tighter stance, quicker follow-through. You won’t get a second chance in the field.”

She adjusted, her movements becoming sharper, her breath steadier. She knew she couldn’t rely on raw power to get through this. It was about control, about being precise in every move. If Oscar came at her like the soldier Zak had turned him into, she would need every edge she could get.

Hours later, after the sun had dipped below the horizon, she found herself alone in the facility, her body exhausted but her mind still racing. The gym was quiet now, the hum of the fluorescent lights the only sound. She stood in front of a punching bag, her hands wrapped, her fists aching, but she kept throwing punches, one after another.

She couldn’t stop picturing him—Oscar, standing on the opposite side of a battlefield, cold, unrecognisable. His eyes, once so full of warmth, now distant and empty.

Her fist slammed into the bag, harder this time, sending a sharp sting up her arm. She let out a breath, stepping back, and pressed a hand to her forehead.

I have to get him back.

But deep down, fear gnawed at her. What if she couldn’t? What if Oscar was gone, truly lost to whatever conditioning Zak had done to him?

She closed her eyes, trying to shake the thought. She couldn’t afford doubt. Not now. Not with the mission looming.

The next morning, she was back in the training room with Lewis and George, ready for another round. They didn’t question her drive anymore, and they didn’t hold back.

George threw a kick toward her midsection, and she blocked it with quick precision, countering with a low strike to his ribs. He grunted, stepping back, but didn’t relent.

“Good,” he muttered, circling her. “But stay focused. You’re still too emotional. It’ll get you killed.”

She wiped sweat from her brow, panting, and nodded. He was right. She had to be in control. Her emotions were her greatest strength, but also her greatest weakness. If she let them cloud her judgement in the field, she’d lose more than just a fight.

And if she wasn’t ready when she saw Oscar again—if she wasn’t in control—she could lose him for good.

And then before she had known it, the day had come.

She stood in the dimly lit briefing room, her heart pounding in her chest, as Toto paced in front of the projection screen. The map of Zak’s base flickered behind him, but her mind was barely focused on the layout. All she could think about was him.

Oscar would be there. She could feel it in her bones.

Lewis and George sat beside her, silent but alert. The air in the room was thick with tension—everyone knew what was at stake. Everyone knew the weight of this mission wasn’t just about Zak’s base. It was about facing the person she loved, the person she might have to fight.

Toto stopped pacing and turned to face the team, his expression cold and calculating as always. He was all business now, no trace of the promises he’d made weeks ago lingering in his eyes.

“Alright, listen up,” he said, his voice sharp. “This is it. We’ve confirmed Zak’s location, and it’s exactly where we thought. His base is in a remote industrial complex, heavily guarded, but vulnerable. The mission is simple: infiltrate the compound, steal the intel Zak’s been hoarding, and get out.”

He glanced at her, his gaze lingering for a second longer than usual. She knew what he was about to say next, and the knot in her stomach tightened.

“Oscar will be there,” Toto continued, confirming her worst fear. “He’s been stationed as part of Zak’s inner circle. Expect him to be leading security. And I’m telling you now—if you come face to face with him, you cannot let your emotions get in the way.”

She clenched her fists in her lap, trying to steady her breath. Toto knew exactly what he was asking of her.

“Zak has reconditioned him,” Toto added, his voice matter-of-fact. “He’s not the man you knew. If you hesitate, if you falter for even a second, he will kill you.”

Lewis shifted beside her, his jaw tight. He knew what this meant to her. George gave her a sidelong glance, his eyes full of unspoken concern.

She forced herself to meet Toto’ gaze, her voice steady even though her insides churned. “What’s the extraction point?”

Toto turned back to the map, tapping the screen where a small, isolated building was marked. “Here. We’ll enter through the north gate, but the extraction point is in the southeast corner of the complex. Once you’ve secured the intel, you’ll have a five-minute window to get out before reinforcements flood the area.”

Her mind raced, already running through the plan, visualising every step of the mission. But no matter how much she tried to focus on the technical details, her thoughts kept drifting to Oscar.

Would he recognise her? Would there be anything left of the man she loved behind those cold, trained eyes?

“Any questions?” Toto asked, his tone curt. He was already moving toward the door, clearly ready to leave them to prepare.

She stood, her legs feeling heavier than they should, but her resolve never wavered. “None.”

Toto paused for a moment, his eyes locking onto hers with something almost resembling sympathy. Almost. “Remember what I said. You can’t afford to let emotions cloud your judgement. Get the job done, or you won’t survive. Neither will Oscar.”

The words hit her hard, but she didn’t flinch. She nodded once, then turned to follow Lewis and George out of the room, the weight of the mission settling on her shoulders like a lead blanket.

The van rumbled along the deserted road, heading straight toward the dark silhouette of Zak’s base in the distance. They were in full gear now, dressed head to toe in black, their weapons and equipment strapped securely to their bodies.

The tension was palpable, the quiet hum of the van only amplifying the intensity of the moment. George sat across from her, checking over his rifle, his face set in stone. Lewis leaned against the wall, his gaze flickering toward her every now and then.

“You ready for this?” Lewis asked, his voice low, almost cautious.

She nodded, her hands resting in her lap, fingers flexing out of instinct. “I have to be.”

They all knew what was coming. No amount of training could fully prepare her for what she might face once they breached the compound, but she had no choice. This wasn’t just another mission. It was personal.

As the van rolled to a stop, the back doors were thrown open, and they were met by the biting cold night air. The base loomed ahead of them, a maze of concrete walls and guard towers. She could see the faint glow of security lights in the distance, the occasional shadow of a guard passing by.

Toto’ voice crackled through her earpiece. “Go in quiet. We don’t want them knowing we’re here until it’s too late.”

She slipped out of the van, her boots hitting the ground soundlessly. Lewis and George were right behind her, moving in sync as they approached the north gate. She kept her breathing steady, her heart pounding in her ears as they crept through the shadows.

They made quick work of the first security checkpoint, taking down two guards silently before breaching the gate. The inside of the compound was a labyrinth of narrow alleyways and industrial buildings, all eerily quiet.

As they moved deeper into the base, her pulse quickened. Every step brought them closer to the heart of the operation. Closer to Oscar.

George led them through a side entrance into one of the main buildings, his movements swift and precise. She followed, her senses on high alert, every noise around them setting her nerves on edge.

They slipped into the shadows, ducking behind crates and machinery as they made their way to the server room where the intel was stored. George hacked into the door panel with practised ease, and within seconds, the door slid open with a soft hiss.

“Let’s move,” he whispered, leading the way inside.

They entered the room, a dimly lit space filled with rows of servers humming quietly. She moved to the far wall, retrieving the encrypted data chip from a console just as planned.

But something felt off. Too quiet.

As soon as the chip was secured, the lights overhead flickered, then shut off completely, plunging them into darkness.

A voice crackled through the earpiece. Toto. “Get out. Now. They know you’re there.”

Her breath caught, but she didn’t hesitate. “Let’s go,” she ordered, already heading back toward the door.

But the moment they stepped outside, the air shifted. She felt it before she saw him.

Her heart stopped.

Oscar stood in the clearing ahead of them, his silhouette unmistakable against the cold night air. He was dressed in tactical gear, his posture rigid, his eyes locked on hers. A scar going across his right eye.

For a moment, the world seemed to freeze. Everything around her—the mission, the guards, the base—faded into the background. All she could see was him.

But his eyes were different. Cold. Empty.

“Oscar…” she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper.

He didn’t respond. Didn’t move.

Behind her, she heard Lewis mutter a curse under his breath, his weapon raised. But she couldn’t tear her eyes away from Oscar.

She took a step forward, her heart aching in her chest. “Oscar, it’s me.”

Still nothing.

Her mind raced, but she couldn’t afford to lose control now. She couldn’t afford to let her emotions take over.

But as she took another step closer, she saw him move—his hand reaching for the weapon strapped to his side.

Her breath caught in her throat, and before she could react, he drew it, pointing the barrel directly at her.

Her breath caught in her throat, heart pounding as Oscar stood before her, his weapon trained on her like a stranger, not the man she once knew. She clenched her fists, forcing herself to push down the wave of emotion crashing over her.

“Okay,” she whispered, her voice steady even though everything inside her was breaking. “We’re doing this.”

She launched herself toward him, closing the gap between them in an instant. His response was automatic, mechanical, as he sidestepped her first strike, his hand shooting out to block her next move. His speed hadn’t dulled; if anything, it was sharper, more calculated. But so was she.

They exchanged a flurry of blows, the sounds of their strikes echoing off the cold walls of the base. She fought with everything she had, trying to break through to him, hoping for some flicker of recognition in his eyes. But all she saw was the soldier Zak had turned him into.

He blocked her roundhouse kick, grabbing her leg and twisting her off balance. She hit the ground hard but rolled quickly to her feet, her breath coming fast. This wasn’t Oscar. Not the man who had held her in his arms, who had risked everything for her. This was someone else, someone controlled, and she needed to snap him out of it—if that was even possible.

“Come on, Oscar,” she gasped, dodging another strike as he swung at her. “Fight it. I know you’re still in there.”

He didn’t hesitate. His fist connected with her ribs, sending a sharp pain through her side, but she gritted her teeth and kept moving. Every blow was harder than the last, more precise. He wasn’t holding back.

She heard Lewis and George behind her, moving toward the exit. Their voices echoed through the earpieces, tense and urgent. “We need to go, now! Reinforcements are on their way. We’ve got maybe two minutes before this place is crawling with guards.”

She barely registered the warning, her focus entirely on Oscar. She had to stop him, had to end this before the reinforcements arrived—or they’d all be dead.

Oscar advanced, his expression unreadable as he swung again, a brutal uppercut aimed at her jaw. She ducked just in time, her muscles screaming with exhaustion. He was stronger than she remembered, faster. And she was running out of options.

“Dammit, Oscar!” she growled, grabbing his arm and twisting it behind him. He fought back immediately, breaking free of her hold with terrifying ease. He spun, catching her by the throat and slamming her into the metal wall behind them.

Her vision swam for a moment, the edges blurring, but she forced herself to stay focused. She had to finish this.

With a burst of strength, she kicked off the wall, using the momentum to break his grip. She twisted in midair, slamming her knee into his chest, knocking him backward. But he didn’t falter. He came at her again, relentless, emotionless.

It was like fighting a machine.

Her heart ached, but she pushed it aside. She couldn’t afford to think of him as Oscar right now. He was the enemy.

She blocked his next strike, then, with a surge of adrenaline, she grabbed the back of his head and drove his face into the cold, unforgiving metal wall.

The sound of the impact echoed through the room, and for a moment, everything went still.

Oscar crumpled to the ground, unconscious.

Her breath came in ragged gasps, her body trembling from the intensity of the fight. She stared down at him, her chest tight with a mix of relief and horror. He was out cold. She hadn’t meant to hit him that hard, but she hadn’t had a choice.

“Shit,” Lewis breathed, rushing over to her side. George was right behind him, his eyes darting between her and Oscar’s unmoving form.

For a second, none of them spoke, the weight of what had just happened hanging in the air. They could hear the distant sounds of guards, the reinforcements closing in.

“What do we do?” George asked, his voice low, uncertain. “We don’t have time. We need to go, now.”

She looked down at Oscar, her heart in her throat. This was it. This was the man she’d fought so hard for—the man who’d saved her, the man she loved. And now he was lying unconscious at her feet, a weapon in Zak’s hands. If they left him here, he’d be lost forever. But if they took him, it could compromise everything.

Lewis looked at her, his jaw set. “We’ll take him with us.”

She blinked, surprised, her voice hoarse. “You’re serious?”

Lewis nodded, already moving toward Oscar’s prone form. “We don’t leave people behind. Especially not him. If there’s a chance we can get him back, we take it.”

George hesitated for a moment, glancing at the door where the guards’ footsteps were growing louder. Then, with a resigned sigh, he moved to help.

They hoisted Oscar’s limp body between them, slinging his arms over their shoulders as they began to move quickly toward the extraction point. She followed, her mind racing, every nerve in her body on high alert.

The plan was unravelling fast. The mission was compromised, the reinforcements were closing in, and now they had Oscar with them—a ticking time bomb they didn’t fully understand.

But she couldn’t leave him. Not like this.

They moved quickly through the base, weaving through the narrow corridors, dodging guards and patrols as the alarms blared overhead. Her heart raced as they reached the exit, the cold night air hitting her like a slap to the face. The extraction point was just ahead, the van idling in the distance.

“Let’s move!” George urged, his breath laboured from carrying Oscar.

They sprinted toward the van, her eyes flicking back to Oscar every few seconds, anxiety gnawing at her. What if he woke up? What if he turned on them again?

But there was no time to think. The guards were closing in, and they were running out of time.

They reached the van, and Lewis and George quickly loaded Oscar into the back, securing him with restraints just in case. She climbed in after them, her hands shaking as she slammed the doors shut.

The van peeled out of the compound, speeding down the dirt road as the alarms grew fainter in the distance. She leaned back against the wall, her chest heaving, adrenaline still coursing through her veins.

For a moment, everything was quiet.

She looked over at Oscar, his head resting against the side of the van, his face bruised and bloodied from the fight. Her heart ached as she watched him, the man she loved now a ghost of himself.

“We did it,” Lewis said, his voice breathless but triumphant. “We got the intel, and we got him.”

But her mind was already racing ahead, the weight of what was to come settling in.

They had Oscar. But now, they had to figure out how to bring him back.

A few hours later, she sat slumped against the wall outside the medical room, her arms wrapped around her knees, eyes burning from exhaustion. The sterile lights overhead hummed quietly, casting an eerie glow over the otherwise darkened corridor. She hadn't moved since they’d brought Oscar in, refusing to leave his side, even if it meant waiting in silence.

Inside, they were doing what they could to stabilise him, to fix whatever Zak had done to him. But all she could think about was the fight, the coldness in his eyes, and the moment she’d slammed his face into the wall.

She kept replaying it, every brutal second. And now, she was terrified that they’d lost him for good.

Footsteps echoed down the hall, and she glanced up to see Toto approaching. Even he looked concerned, the usual hardened expression on his face softened by something almost resembling empathy. He stopped in front of her, arms crossed over his chest.

"You should get some sleep," Toto said, his voice gentler than usual. "You've been up for hours."

She shook her head, her voice hoarse. "I can’t. Not until I know he's okay."

Toto sighed, running a hand through his hair. For a moment, he looked like he might argue, but then he just nodded. "I know you’re worried, but sitting out here won’t change anything. The doctors will update you if there’s any progress."

"I need to be here when he wakes up," she whispered, her gaze fixed on the door to the medical room. "I need to be the first person he sees."

Toto watched her for a long moment, his face unreadable. Then, without another word, he turned and walked away, leaving her alone with her thoughts once more.

Time dragged on, each passing minute feeling like an eternity. The sound of her own heartbeat filled her ears as she waited, her mind racing with a mix of hope and dread.

Finally, after what felt like hours, the door to the medical room slid open. One of the doctors stepped out, looking weary but composed.

“You can see him now,” the doctor said, her voice low. “But be careful. He’s still not fully stabilised. There’s a chance he might not recognise you, or he could react unpredictably. If anything happens, press the emergency button.”

She nodded, swallowing hard as she stood up on shaky legs. She wasn’t afraid of Oscar, not really. But the thought of him not knowing her, or worse, hurting her again—it twisted something deep inside her.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed the door open and stepped inside.

The room was dim, the only light coming from the soft glow of the medical monitors that surrounded the bed. Oscar lay there, his face pale, his body still, except for the steady rise and fall of his chest. He was strapped down, restraints holding him in place in case he woke up disoriented.

Her heart ached at the sight of him like this—vulnerable, broken. This wasn’t the Oscar she knew. But she had to believe that somewhere inside him, the man she loved was still there.

She stepped closer to the bed, her fingers trembling as she reached out toward him. “Oscar?” she whispered softly, her voice shaking. “It’s me. I’m here.”

For a moment, nothing happened. His face remained impassive, his eyes closed.

Then, slowly, his eyelids fluttered open.

Her breath caught in her throat as his gaze locked onto hers. There was something there, something familiar—recognition, maybe? For a split second, she thought she saw the old Oscar in those dark eyes.

“Oscar,” she whispered again, taking a cautious step closer to the bed. “It’s okay. You’re safe now.”

His expression softened, and her heart lifted with a flicker of hope. He knew her. He had to. She took another step forward, her hand hovering just above his, ready to make contact.

But in an instant, everything changed.

His eyes darkened, a flash of something cold and dangerous taking over. Before she could react, his hand shot up, grabbing her by the throat with lightning speed.

She gasped, her fingers clawing at his wrist as he squeezed tighter, her lungs burning for air. Panic surged through her as she tried to pull free, but his grip was ironclad, his strength far greater than hers.

“Oscar—” she choked, struggling to speak, but he wasn’t listening. His face was twisted with rage, his eyes blank, devoid of any recognition.

Her vision blurred as the room started to spin. Desperation took over, and with her free hand, she fumbled for the emergency button on the wall. She pressed it just as her knees buckled beneath her.

Within seconds, the door burst open, and Lewis and George rushed in.

“Fuck, Oscar!” Lewis shouted as they lunged toward the bed.

George grabbed Oscar’s arm, prying his fingers off her throat with force. Lewis pulled her back, away from Oscar’s reach, as she collapsed against him, gasping for air. Her throat throbbed, the bruises already forming under her skin.

Oscar thrashed against the restraints, his eyes wild, but George tightened the straps, holding him down as the doctors rushed in to sedate him.

She stumbled back, her entire body trembling. Tears blurred her vision, and she didn’t even realise she was crying until she felt the wetness on her cheeks. Lewis held her upright, his grip steady but gentle.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Lewis murmured, his voice soft but strained. “You’re safe now.”

But she didn’t feel safe. All she felt was a deep, hollow ache in her chest as she stared at Oscar, now unconscious again, his face peaceful in sleep.

The man she loved was still trapped inside that body, and she had no idea how to get him back.

She sank to the floor, her knees hitting the cold tiles, as the tears came harder. George knelt beside her, resting a hand on her shoulder, but it did little to soothe the storm raging inside her.

“He didn’t know,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “He didn’t know it was me.”

Lewis exchanged a glance with George, both of them grim-faced.

“We’ll figure it out,” Lewis said quietly, but even he didn’t sound convinced.

She wiped at her eyes, trying to pull herself together. But as she looked at Oscar, strapped down, broken, the weight of what had happened pressed down on her like a crushing force.

She had to believe he could come back to her. She had to. But right now, it felt like that hope was slipping further and further away.

part three

[queenimmadolla]

hey i have a req for the penny verse!! if u want can u possibly do penny gets her period and like starts freaking out and only eddie’s home so he’s like “uh- i’ll go get some pads” if u want to ofc!!! i love ur writing <33

five months later and i was finally able to get to this one. sorry about the wait and i hope i did it just! this was also definitely influenced by me finally having seen Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.

rockstar!eddie manip by the talented @themunsonator5000!

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫

(dad!rockstar!eddie munson x mom!reader) *but like you're not even in this*

summary: Your daughter gets her first period while you’re away and only Eddie is home. Somehow, she ends up comforting him.

warnings: lots of sentiment, brief (and i mean brief) mention of an oc side character death, angst, fluff, some hurt and whole lot of comforting. and of course mentions of periods.

𝗮/𝗻: 𝗲𝗱𝗱𝗶𝗲'𝘀 𝗮 𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗸𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁, 𝗴𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂! more dad!eddie here.

Eddie let out a sigh as he collapsed back onto the couch, body nearly sinking into it.

  The house was finally quiet. He wasn’t sure if he liked that or not. Felt foreign to him, especially in the new house.

  He glanced around the living room, brown eyes lingering on a few empty boxes that had yet to be broken down from the move.

  It was a big change, moving from Hawkins to California and he was well aware there wasn’t a single member of his family that was feeling completely positive about the experience. He could tell you were trying to be, for his sake and for the kids, but leaving behind all your friends was difficult. Even Eddie was struggling, despite Jeff, Gareth and Anthony being close by.

  Corroded Coffin had picked up quite a bit of traction and a loyal fanbase that was stemming into a borderline crazed one. The demand for more performances and appearances was high. Eddie never thought they’d ever reach this level, had dreamed of it once but after he found out you were pregnant with Penny, he didn’t care for the dream anymore. He preferred his reality, his family.

  Then the kids got older and you always encouraged him to keep playing so they did, and it happened. It wasn’t instant, overnight, or even close in years but they’d finally reached the point where the members were rarely in Hawkins. It had been the source of a lot of tension in your relationship, the hardest thing the two of you had ever gone though. You hated that he wasn’t around much and so did Eddie, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. Contracts had been signed and the ink had already dried.

  The fighting had been exhausting, at one point it felt as though the two of you lost each other and that had been terrifying. 

  And his kids—his babies. He was missing out on his babies growing up and it broke his fucking heart. Wayne appeared indifferent, but Eddie knew he cared and Penny was like you, always trying to seem okay and put together but she was hiding stuff from him—no scary secrets or rebellion, she was hiding her feelings.

  When you found out you were pregnant again, in the midst of all the fighting and distance, it had been the final straw for Eddie. He wasn’t about to let his family slip between his fingers. 

  The moment a show ended, and he didn’t have another the following day, he was rushing off stage to shower, throwing some inconspicuous clothes on to keep the invasive cameras from recognizing him, before he was on the next flight to Indiana. It didn’t matter if he only got to be there sporadically, he was there every. single. chance. he got.

  And when Maple was born during one of their concerts, Gareth was subbing in for lead vocals while he was holding your hand in the delivery room.

  It took time, love and a lot of nurturing but things got better. Then, you’d brought up moving to California. Most of Corroded Coffin’s appearances were based in the area which meant you and the kids would be closer to him, able to see him nearly every day if he wasn’t doing press or touring.

  You were extending the olive branch. 

  In truth, he hadn’t wanted to agree immediately, knew he’d be leaving Wayne behind (the old man said he wasn’t meant for city life, that he’d stay and have a place for his grandkids to visit and he couldn’t leave behind the women he loved, both of them now resting in the same cemetery), as well as your shared friends and the friends Penny and Wayne had made. It was a lot to leave. 

  In the end, you were willing to leave everything if it meant you’d never have to leave Eddie, never have to break your family. So, the boxes had been packed and labeled, goodbyes had been exchanged (Penny had cried when little Winnie, Megan and Margot Harrington, hadn’t wanted to let her go and Wayne had exchanged a heartfelt hug with his namesake, who was his favorite person to be around) and all your friends and family had been left waving goodbye to you from the rearview mirror.

  Yeah. Everyone was adjusting.

  Which led to today. Wayne had a field trip to the zoo, which he didn’t want to go on because of how new he was and his lack of friends. You’d been planning on taking the baby and going with him (the only way he’d agree to go) until Penny came down with something last night, complaining about not feeling good which meant you’d have to stay home with her. 

  If Eddie’s family was making sacrifices for him, then he was more than willing to make a sacrifice on behalf of Ari, his publicist, and canceled an interview he hadn’t even wanted to do in the first place. The guys were also happy to stay home, so it was a win. You took Wayne on his field trip, because Eddie couldn’t go anywhere without some dick with a camera following him around, and Eddie stayed home with Penny and Maple.

  Only, Penny locked herself away in her room and either Eddie was really out of practice or Maple just had a difficult time bonding with him because she would not stop wailing and shrieking. She had more teeth breaching her gums, and Eddie had tried everything he could to sooth her, everything he’d used with Penny and Wayne; frozen teething toys, massaged over the area of her gums, baby orajel, cuddles, she just fought him every time. 

  The only reason she’d gone down was because of how hard she’d been crying, little body shaking and trembling as she shrieked as loud as her little lungs would allow her to, tears streaming down her face and continuously pooling in her eyes. She’d worn herself out.

  Big moment of defeat for him, he’d felt guilty ever since he put her in her crib, wiping the wet trails from her face. Even in sleep, she didn’t look at peace.

  He could play to sold out arenas, had played a five hour concert in Madison Square fucking Garden, but he couldn’t sooth his baby, couldn’t take his son to the zoo and his oldest barely talked to him. 

  The life of a Rockstar.

  With a heavy sigh, Eddie reached to his side for the remote to the television. When his palm met the fabric of the cushions, he let out a more aggressive sigh, rising so he could take the couch apart in his search for that damn remote even though he knew it would somehow pop up in the most conspicuous place, though he’d last left it on that fucking cushion.

  He’d just lifted one large cushion when he heard a high pitched shriek.

  “MOM!”

  Penny.

  Eddie dropped the cushion as he ran upstairs towards her room. When he burst through the door, head whipping around, he still couldn’t find her. Then he noticed the light coming from under her bathroom door and rushed forward.

  “Penny?!” He called out, aggressively twisting the knob but it didn’t budge. He got desperate and shouldered the door, ready to break it down in an instant if she didn’t answer, “Penny, are you okay?!”

  “I need mom!” She called through the door.

  “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” He kept trying the knob, eager to just yank it off and get to his little girl.

  Had she slipped and fallen? Thrown up? Should he call an ambulance–no, fuck that, they’d be too slow, he’d grab Penny and the baby and take her himself.

  “NO! I’m fine, I just–I need mom.” Penny sounded closer, and Eddie felt a little relieved to know she wasn’t injured. But why didn’t she want him?

  “I can help, sweet pea! Your tummy upset? I can make some soup! Or-or I can go get you what you need!”

  “The only thing I need is mom.” She was right on the other side of the door now. 

  Eddie sighed, forehead dropping against his side of the bathroom door in defeat. Of course she didn’t want to talk to him. “Well, mom isn’t here right now. So. I guess you're stuck with me.”

  Alright, maybe Eddie had been expecting her to take pity on him but she didn’t.

  The door remained closed and she stayed silent so with a heavy heart, Eddie settled against the wall opposite of the door. He’d be there for her when she decided to come out.

  It took about ten minutes before he heard the door unlock and it opened slowly, just her head poking out in his exact direction, as if she’d known he’d still be there. Her big brown eyes were vulnerable, eyebrows slightly furrowed–she was nervous.

  “I’m bleeding.” She said it so softly, it had Eddie scrambling up and towards her. She backed into the bathroom to allow him in, but when he looked her over, he didn’t see any injuries. She was just fidgeting, playing with her fingers. It was when she glanced up at him and then nervously to the toilet bowl that it clicked for him.

  Penny had her first period. 

  “Oh, shit.”

  “Dad!”

  “Sorry, sorry! I just–wow, uh, first…”

  “Period, dad. I got my period!” She rolled her eyes and Eddie just nodded, head moving like a bobble head.

  “I know! I know! Trust me, I know what a period is. I’m just–you caught me off guard, I mean your mom said–.” And then Eddie recalled exactly what you said, “Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

  Eddie ran from her bathroom, towards the master bedroom. Sure enough, a peak under one of your shared bathroom cabinets produced a box of pads, unopened. 

  “Yes.” He hissed, snatching it from its place before he ran back to her room. Penny hadn’t moved from her spot, eyes widening as he offered her the box and wiped the hair out of his face.

  “Here. Your mom got you these, she said–she uh, had a feeling you’d, you know, start soon.”

  Penny took the box from his hands, glancing down at them in wonder. 

  Eddie watched her, heart clenching for some reason he couldn’t quite explain. 

  “Pretty big moment, huh?” He broke the silence with a soft chuckle, clearing his rapidly tightening throat.

  It turned out to be the right thing to say, she angled her head up to beam at him. 

  “I can’t believe I got it, everyone else has it but I didn’t think I would!” 

  Penny was excited about it, you’d explained to him that she would be when she first got her period, because Eddie knew how much you hated yours (unless you thought you were pregnant–then it was suddenly your best friend who you missed dearly). It would be a big moment for her, a right of passage in girlhood or something. Or at least one that tampon and pad companies established. 

  “So it is a big moment,” Eddie reiterated, blinking hard.

  “Yeah, I–dad, are you crying?”

  Eddie kept blinking, shaking his head as his vision blurred and he sniffled, “No. Why would I be crying? I’m not crying, my little girl has a period. That’s it. Nothing to cry over.”

  “Dad…” She started before she placed the box on the tile and hugged his waist.

  That’s when Eddie actually started crying, bending over to wrap his arms around her shoulders. He held her like that for a few moments, pressing a few kisses to the top of her head.

  It seemed like she was trying to comfort him because she didn’t pull away, just let him hold her until eventually he realized she’d need to actually use one of those pads.

  “You know how to work those, right?” He asked, standing straight though his hands remained on her shoulders as her arms went back to her sides.

  “I know how to use them, dad, some of the girls at school showed me theirs.” She laughed out, “I still can’t believe I got it!”

  “Is that why you didn’t go to school?” He asked and she got quiet, shifting her weight and toeing the grout before she looked up at him, eyes clouded with guilt.

  “Shanti’s having a sleepover tonight and if I went to school, they’d know I’m not sick.” She admitted and Eddie frowned.

  “I was actually talking about cramps, but she didn't invite you?”

  Penny went back to avoiding his gaze and walked over to the bathroom wall, resting her back against it so she could slide to the floor and pull her knees to her chest. Eddie immediately joined her, one knee up and the other leg spread out. She was finally talking to him, he didn’t want it to end.

  “She invited me, but they’re just gonna talk about their periods and boys and stuff. And I didn’t have my period so I didn’t want to go.”

  “Oh, I see,” Eddie didn’t want to talk about the subject of boys and stuff, he’d put that off for years if he could. “You could go now, you’ve got your period.”

  “I don’t know,” she put her chin on the top of her knees, and Eddie stared at her, still so amazed at how much she looked like you. “I don’t know if they really like me. I’m trying really hard, but it doesn’t feel easy, doesn’t feel natural.”

  “I know how you feel,” he muttered and when she glared at him from the corner of his eyes for daring to try to relate to a girl in the sixth grade, he started rambling, “Sometimes, you know, you feel like you’ve got to try hard to get people to talk to you and sometimes you feel like they’re not happy with you so you try harder, and then you can’t tell if they like you or if they like how hard you’re trying or how desperate you are to be with them and wanting them to spend time with you or if you’re just annoying them. And they feel bad for you.”

  Eddie stared at the large mirror across from the pair, at his reflection and soaked in the truth of it all. He could relate to Penny a little too much.

  His head lulled to the side, catching her eyes as she watched him.

  “But she invited you, baby. If you ask me, I think they want to be your friends. Maybe it doesn’t feel natural because you’re scared to stop trying so hard.”

  She considered his statement, pursing her lips. 

  “Maybe you’re right. Can I even go? You’re not mad at me for lying?”

  Eddie huffed out a breathy laugh, hand reaching over to stroke over her curls, “About this? No. I’m just glad you told me. You can go if you want, okay?”

  She nodded, and Eddie withdrew his hands as she stretched her legs out, figuring the conversation was over. He felt a little better about their relationship–she hadn’t iced him out after all. 

  Penny moved onto her knees, ready to push herself up and Eddie was about to do the same thing when she got his attention. 

  “Uhm, daddy?”

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “I think the people you’re talking about moved from Hawkins over here because they want to be with you, too. All the time. You don’t have to try so hard, ‘cause we love you a lot. Maple’s just a big cry baby.”

  There was no way Eddie could deny the water at his lower lash line or the two large tears that trailed down his cheeks. “C’mere.”

  Penny wrapped her arms around his shoulders as Eddie hugged her to him tightly, eyes squeezing shut as the two ton weight that had been pressing on his heart was lifted by a little girl barely half his size.

  “I love you, daddy.” She whispered, squeezing him back. Ediie could feel something wet pressing against his neck and he realized she was crying, too. The last time he’d seen her cry was when they said goodbye to everyone in Hawkins. Eddie inhaled a shaky breath as he responded, a hand moving to cradle the back of her head.

  “I love you, too, baby. I love you all so much.” 

  They held each other until she pulled away, wiping at her face. 

  “I have to put on a pad, daddy.”

  “Oh, right. Yeah. I’ll give you some privacy.” Eddie pushed himself up, stretching his arms up and relishing in the sensation.

  “Can we watch The Wild Thornberrys after?”

  “Of course, baby.” That was the children’s show Flea always bragged about being on. Dude had so many movie roles, it was insane. 

  Eddie was about to leave the bathroom, doorknob in his hand to close it behind him when she stopped him again, “And daddy, if you want to spend time with me, you can always take me to the Spice Girls concert.”

  Eddie smirked, amused with the innocent act she was playing, eyelashes batting and making her eyes appear even wider.

  “I’ll think about it.”

  While Penny finished up, Eddie checked in on Maple–who was awake and waiting for him, pacifier in her mouth and little arms outstretched the moment he came into view.  His little mini-me (out of all of his kids, she looked the most like Eddie) cuddled up to him as soon as he picked her up, cheek resting on his shoulder.

  Then he went in search of the house phone so he could call Ari and get tickets for the next Spiceworld show.

(Penny ended up finding the remote for the TV on the arm of the loveseat where Eddie had not left it.)