#antebuny's ficlets
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IRONY
(Or: my take on a post Red Robin Dick & Tim reconciliation. Because they love each other so much, and that's why it hurts).
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Tim can admit, once an alert pops up on his computer and he immediately opens up the live feed of Dick’s kitchen, that there’s some cruel, bitter irony in what he’s doing. Also quite a few broken laws, and bent morals, and some icky stuff which he would not like Dick to find out about. Inserting surveillance cameras and trackers all over your loved one’s property, after all, is Bad Sibling Behavior. After so long spent trying to be a good sibling, Tim is hardly going to admit what he’s doing to anyone else.
Because he’s stalking Dick.
Like a creepy little obsessed fan. Or a creepy villain-adjacent stalker. Like a ten-year-old Timmy Drake. He never thought he’d be doing it again as eighteen-year-old Tim Drake. Nonetheless, he stalks and tracks and surveils Dick from afar without ever talking to him. It’s like old times. Jason is even alive again. Except that instead of Tim stalking the Bats because he was a lonely little ten-year-old left to rot in a huge mansion with no concept of privacy or boundaries, he’s a less-lonely eighteen-year-old who knows far too much about Dick Grayson. Too much because far too much has gone down between them for Tim to just…talk to the guy. It’s impossible. Definitely impossible.
Tim misses the days of late night ice creams, arms resting on his head or slung over his back, trading skateboard tricks for tumbling tricks. He aches for those days with a hunger he didn’t know was possible after a childhood spent starving for affection.
But they can never go back.
Which is why Tim learns that Dick isn’t taking his meds because his surveillance equipment detected a change in behavior. Dick usually goes to his kitchen, breaks out orange juice or soda or some energy drink from the fridge, and takes his meds. Tonight he did not. Tim doesn’t know what the meds are for, he’s not that much of an invasive creep. It’s enough to know that Dick is getting treatment. And Tim doesn’t have to talk to Dick to find out how he’s doing. It’s enough to stalk him from afar to check on his well-being.
Now the question is: what can Tim do about it? He can’t ask Dick himself. That’s obviously out of the question. Dick would listen to Damian, but the brat resents Tim’s very existence, so best not try that route. Dick would listen to Jason, but Red Hood barely tolerates Tim nowadays, and Tim isn’t interested in owing him a huge favor for something he really should do himself, so not him either. Dick would maybe, maybe listen to Bruce, but that’s hit-or-miss.
Tim calls Barbara.
“I need a favor,” he says as soon as she picks up. “Are you alone?”
“Yes,” Barbara replies, immediately business-like. “What’s up?”
Tim spins around in his swivel chair. Best purchase for his lair by far. “Not cape stuff, sort of, or imminently pressing, well, it’s pressing, I just needed to make sure no one’s listening in.”
“As sure as I can ever be,” Barbara confirms dryly. Answer: there’s always a chance, in the Bats’ paranoid minds, that someone is eavesdropping. But according to Oracle, she’s in the clear, and it really doesn’t get better than that.
“So, don’t ask me how I know this,” Tim prefaces, knowing she’s about to find out about his surveillance cameras in Dick’s apartment (if she hasn’t already), “but Dick didn’t take his meds last night. I don’t know what they are, so I dunno how bad it is that he skipped, and I don’t wanna pry into your, uh, relationship with him but–”
“Dick and I aren’t talking right now,” Barbara says flatly.
So, they’re in the off-again part of their on-again, off-again relationship. Most of the time Tim is rooting for them. Sometimes he thinks they should do what he and Steph did and settle into a best friends for life relationship.
“Right.” On his next rotation, Tim catches himself on the edge of his table. He taps one hand on the clear surface and thinks of possibilities. “Do you think he would listen to B–”
“No.”
“Right.” Tim tries not to sigh and fails. “Okay, uh. Jason?”
“Jason can’t keep a secret.”
Which is sort of unfair to Jason, but keeping a secret is relative. Compared to Barbara and Tim, Jason can’t keep a secret. And Tim is not one to argue if someone’s making fun of Jason.
“Cass? No. Same problem.”
It’s against her very nature to lie. If Cass does hold a secret, it is by accident. Tim doesn’t want to leave this up to chance. This was easier when they had Alfred to mediate.
Tim starts spinning in his chair again. His room whirls past. “What about his friends? Kori or Wally or…literally any of them?”
“I don’t see,” Barbara says, “why you’re avoiding the obvious solution of asking him yourself. He’d listen to you.”
He’ll listen to you. What a heavy, crushing promise to make. You have the trust of Nightwing. Nightwing, admired by the entire superhero community. It’s true, maybe, probably. That Dick will listen to Tim. He’s mostly sure of that now, after everything. That’s the problem, really. The “after everything” part of Tim’s confidence. Their trust is not from years of steady partnership, or slowly developed siblinghood. The trust Tim has in Dick originates from months of silence, of terribly intimate understanding, of shared grief and one horrible, nausea-inducing day.
Dick hates when people leave him and when people fall and he can’t catch them. People don’t usually leave Dick Grayson, but Tim left and then he fell and Dick caught him. So Dick will listen, probably, maybe, if only because he doesn’t want Tim to leave. And Tim can’t ask, knowing that they don’t have the nice, easy brotherhood they ought to, the companionship siblings should have. Knowing Dick is only listening because he wants to keep Tim around. That’s the sort of fake compassion Tim spent his life running from. It’s not empathy, it’s sympathy.
A vicious little voice that sounds like Janet Drake tells Tim that he should shut up and suck it up and accept whatever Dick gives him, because he’ll never be worthy of anything more. Tim slams his head into walls to shut that voice up. He won’t accept it. He cannot. He must not.
“You’re not talking to him, are you.” Barbara’s voice has a tinge of that shaking-your-head condescension that drives Tim up the walls. The tone that carries that undercurrent of, why are you making this so hard, Tim? As if it’s so easy. As if everything that fractured Tim and Dick’s relationship is so easily repairable.
Of course, Tim can’t explain that to Barbara. It sounds pathetic, even to himself.
“Bold words, coming from you,” Tim retorts.
Barbara sighs. “Look. At this point Damian has the best communication with Dick. And unless you have a way of tricking Damian into–huh.”
Tim, whose manipulative, stalkery little brain went in the exact same direction as hers, echoes her exclamation. “Oh. Yeah. Hm. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Unfortunately,” Barbara says, voice dry as the desert Tim was reborn in, “yes.”
The Belfry, a secret headquarters perfectly unobtrusive in Gotham’s old gothic and industrial skyline, was built by Tim and Barbara shortly after Bruce’s return. Since it’s so much newer than the Clock Tower, its inhabitants are not yet established. Where the Clock Tower houses the Birds of Prey, and Barbara’s friends in general, the Belfry sees a small but wide-ranging group of heroes coming in and out. Dick, Cass and Steph are the only other Bats to be allowed in.
Tonight, a little eleven-year-old boy crouches in the welcome darkness of one of the many nooks and crannies, dagger in his hands, and pretends with all his might that he belongs.
“…at least wrap it,” Barbara is saying as she disengages the many, many security systems and enters the many passwords to get into the Belfry.
“What’s the point?” Tim argues. “It’s not like–”
Both he and Barbara freeze. Tim raises a hand slowly to his belt. Barbara fingers one of the many buttons on her wheelchair. He gestures her to the left. They’re caught in front of the huge floor-to-ceiling windows. With ceilings as high as a warehouse (it’s a bell tower, after all), those windows are high indeed.
And then–
“Oracle. Red.” Damian emerges from the darkness like the little gremlin that he is, chin held high in his Robin uniform while he omits the Robin part of Tim’s new superhero name. “I have been here long enough that I could’ve killed both of you. How careless of you to not notice.”
Translation: Damian had been hoping to go unnoticed for longer.
“Here, where you most definitely do not have access,” Barbara points out. She wheels closer now that they know it’s just Robin.
Tim, while Damian is distracted with Barbara, sidles over to a table as stealthily as he knows how and sets down his package.
“Clearly, your security standards are in need of upgrading,” Damian sniffs. Then his eyes narrow as he notices what Tim is doing. “Drake. What is that package.”
“None of your business,” Tim snaps back immediately. He moves to cover it with his back. “Get out of here. Invites only, you weren’t invited, you know how it is.”
Damian folds his hands behind his back and raises his nose. “It is for Grayson.”
“For Christ’s–how did you know?” Barbara demands.
“You just confirmed it,” Damian replies smugly.
Barbara rolls her eyes. “Okay. Fine. It’s for Dick. Happy now?”
“No.” Damian marches up to Tim, then folds his arms, dagger and all, over his chest when Tim blocks his path to the package. “Tell me what you are giving to Grayson.”
Tim leans back against the table and folds his own arms over his chest, affecting a casual state of relaxation he absolutely does not feel. “I said, none of your business.”
In truth, there’s something so heart-breakingly ten-years-old about Damian’s behavior. His cool older brother is part of a cool group of friends with a secret hideout that Damian is not allowed into. Of course he broke into it. Damian, under all his bluster and bravado, wants to be a part of it all. He’s only human. He’s only eleven years old.
“You may be poisoning him,” Damian insists.
Tim laughs. “That’s more your wheelhouse, isn’t it?”
Seems like Damian hasn’t yet heard the saying your wheelhouse, because he scowls but doesn’t respond. Oddly enough, Tim feels worse about that than he does about the actual insult. Kids are not their parents or the secret assassin society they come from, he knows, he knows this. Yet this intellectual knowledge always flies out the window in favor of emotional responses when it comes to Damian.
“It’s not,” Barbara interrupts, before they can come to blows. “It’s just something to make him feel better, since he stopped taking his meds. Now will you leave?”
Damian scowls again, this time resembling an angry kitten more than a fearsome assassin. Not that he ever has resembled a fearsome assassin, despite all the assassination attempts. For all the pent-up resentment and bitter anger Tim has about Damian, he can’t help but find the kid a little cute.
(The thing is, back before everything, Tim really wanted a little sibling. Back before everything, Tim used to dream about Jason coming back).
(Isn’t it funny how the universe keeps giving Tim what he wants just to spite him?)
“Fine.” Damian glares at both of them in turn. “Since both of you are so incompetent in taking care of Grayson, I will do it.”
And he sweeps out of the Belfry with all the righteous fury that an eleven-year-old can muster.
Tim and Barbara finally make eye contact after Barbara ensures, using the Belfry’s surveillance cameras, that Damian has exited the building for good. Then they both burst into laughter. The rafters ring with the force of it, pealing like the bells on Sunday morning. Barbara slaps her knee. Tim leans back on the table, hands clasped over his stomach, and shakes.
“I can’t believe,” Barbara says, once she’s calmed down enough to get a proper sentence out, “that we just tricked a kid into doing our dirty work for us.”
“Hey, if it works,” Tim says, voice full of mirth.
He easily identifies himself as an adult despite only recently turning eighteen. It is impossible to feel like a child, he reasons, after waking up in the desert. After running Wayne Industries, however briefly. After striking out on his own. After everything.
Perhaps that’s why he gets along so well with Barbara these days. She understands that he is not a kid anymore, even if she wasn’t there for everything. Dick, on the other hand, still sees Tim as the kid he was. (As Robin). As the Before Everything Tim Drake that the real Tim is getting so very tired of thinking about. So what if he misses all of it, the good and the ugly? That’s just the nostalgia speaking. That’s just part of growing up. Tim had to grow up fast, so he did. He did what he had to do and he won’t let himself regret it.
#tim drake#barbara gordon#damian wayne#dick grayson#my fanfiction#my writing#antebuny's ficlets#batfam#batman#red robin#robin#might actually turn this one into a full fic
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fairy godmother wwx masterpost
first meeting
lwj's problem
gossip
(The AU where wwx is top fairy godmother facing his most difficult client: a stubborn lwj).
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Field trips with wwx is so good oh my goshhhhh😭 I really hope Lan Zhan confesses in the final chapter whenever that will be (ahem). Thank you for taking the time to write and share your work with us❤️
😭why does no one believe me when I say I’ll finish before April
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Another preview/update of Field Trips with Wei Wuxian for those interested
Don't tell my friend but this scene is already three times longer than my estimate and I'm still not done...
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“Good morning,” Lan Xichen says.
“Haughagh gah,” says Wei Wuxian. “I mean. Good morning, Sect Leader Lan.”
Lan Xichen is smiling pleasantly again. Wei Wuxian thinks maybe he should stop, that way Wei Wuxian would know when his smiles are real. Nevertheless, they bow at each other politely, and Wei Wuxian belatedly remembers to feel self-conscious about his inappropriate attire. But it’s too late to pull up his hair into anything respectable, or fix his rumpled robes, so he gives up caring.
“We’ve scheduled a weekly appointment with our doctors for you,” Lan Xichen says.
Wei Wuxian blinks. “Now?”
“Healer Lan Mingxia isn’t available for very long,” Lan Xichen replies. “She has a long list of patients to see.”
“Then I wouldn’t want to bother her,” Wei Wuxian says smoothly. He wonders if it’s not too late to just turn around and go back to sleep. He probably would do it, too, if it were anyone but the sect leader.
“I must insist,” Lan Xichen says, still smiling. It feels like a threat.
Wei Wuxian is starting to think that sending their sect leader out as a glorified errand boy is not a sign of respect.
“I’m not injured or sick,” Wei Wuxian says. “Surely her other patients need her more.”
“It will not take long,” Lan Xichen responds. “It’s only a checkup.”
Wei Wuxian can feel his smile starting to wear thin. “If this is about my demonic cultivation, then Sect Leader Lan should know that I will not be giving it up.”
“That is a concern,” Lan Xichen admits. “However, Wangji tells me that you have picked up spiritual cultivation again.”
Wei Wuxian represses the urge to break something. He wants to say that he’s not here to have his every move reported by a network of Lans, but that is more or less what he’s here for. He wants to admit that he would’ve practiced with Lan Zhan, spent hours with him, even if he knew that Lan Zhan was only doing it to report back to his elders. Lan Zhan would’ve told him, if he asked; he doesn’t lie. It’s just that I came to practice with you feels like it should be a lie.
Somehow, Wei Wuxian manages to swallow all of that down. “Yes?”
“That’s good to hear,” Lan Xichen says, smiling widely. “I am sure with the help of our doctors, you can recover fully.” He gestures with one white sleeve. “Walk with me.”
Seeing no other choice, Wei Wuxian does so.
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Update on Field Trips with Wei Wuxian:
I’ve upped the word count for the remaining scenes because HOW AM I SO BAD AT PREDICTING
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I love your tracker and is it available online?
Update on Field Trips with Wei Wuxian:
I’ve upped the word count for the remaining scenes because HOW AM I SO BAD AT IT
#antebuny's ficlets#that tracker!#like i know i can probably make my journal like that#but you have a box where you can draw something#i love it!
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