#another thought: deeply ashamed of how much Harry Potter fic I read lol

[iamartemisday]

90 and 32 for Loki and your choice?

Is there really a choice? lol

Pregnancy Fic + Unexpected Virgin

...hoo boy.

Okay, so Loki decides one day to go to Midgard. No real reason why. He’s just bored.

While there, he meets some mildly interesting people, including a young woman about to graduate college named Jane Foster. She’s just escaped an incredibly painful blind date and Loki further helps her avoid the hapless human by pretending to kiss her in an alleyway. Her hot breath on his face actually makes him think of kissing her for real, but that’s a ridiculous notion. What kind of prince would he be cavorting with mortals? 

Regardless, as they talk about life and Jane’s plans for grad school, he finds himself intrigued by her. She’s highly intelligent for her species and while her grip on the Bifrost could not be more basic, if anyone was going to figure it out, he’d say it was her. 

Over the next month or so, Loki starts visiting Midgard and Jane more and more. As far as she knows, he’s another student like her home for summer break. As they grow closer, Loki thinks more and more about what it would be like to kiss her. Finally, the day comes and by Odin, can she ever kiss. 

Of course, there’s no way something like this can last. Even putting aside Loki’s greater longevity, there are so many people out there he’s pissed off. If they know a vulnerable mortal woman has caught his eye, no way they won’t take advantage.

That’s how Jane ends up a hostage of one of Loki’s many enemies. He is able to save her and kill the perpetrator, but he realizes now that their relationship can only end in pain. He knows now just how deeply in love with her he’s fallen. He loves her so much that he can find it in himself to erase every trace of him from her memory. Everything from their first meeting to the day they first kissed. He gives her one more kiss before he leaves her, pouring all his love and magic into it. Along with a wish that one day, somehow, their paths would cross again.

And so, Loki leaves her. Jane wakes up the next morning in her apartment with no recollection of her harrowing adventure or the prince she once loved. It’s as if nothing ever happened. 

Except as the days go by, Jane starts to have some odd symptoms. She’s weirdly sick in the morning and feels faint during the day. She’s moodier than usual, only wants to eat food she hates and gets random headaches.

There is an obvious answer that is also completely impossible. Jane is not ashamed to admit she’s never had sex (like it even matters how long someone waits). In fact, she hasn’t dated since that one awful blind date a few months ago (every time she thinks about it she feels sad for no reason, and she still can’t figure out why). Days later, the symptoms persist. As a joke, she buys a home pregnancy test. Not like it’s going to mean anything.

The test comes back positive.

Jane buys three more. All positive.

She goes to the doctor, who confirms it. 

Pregnant. 

Now, this is a major problem because again, Jane has never had sex. She rarely drinks and hasn’t been to a bar recently. A few guys in her department like her, but there was no way they’d ever do something like that to her. Right? 

The time frame of conception is determined. Jane recalls a day during that time when she did go to the bar, and now that she thinks about it, her memory of that week is a bit spotty...

At that point, Jane, being the determined woman she is, decides she can’t worry about what might’ve happened right now. She needs to think about what is happening. The obvious answer is abortion. That or adoption. How can she, a grad student going into astrophysics of all things, take care of a child? It’s not that she doesn’t want kids, it’s the idea never even crossed her mind because she’s just that focused on her goal. 

Now, motherhood is an actual reality. It’s still early enough for her to make an appointment at the clinic. She’s online researching, still unsure if she’s actually going to call, when she feels something. At first, she thinks she’s imagining it. She feels her stomach and there it is again. The tiniest movement. Maybe not even a movement at all. Maybe just a heartbeat...

At that moment, something fundamental within Jane changes. She closes her current web search and opens a new one on pregnancy guides and nearby baby stores.

A few months later, Jane’s daughter is born. While it’s definitely a bit on the nose given the circumstances, Jane can’t resist writing Christina on the birth certificate. 

It’s not as hard as she thought it would be. Erik and her mother are both huge helps. They immediately fall in love with the baby and watch her while Jane is at school and studying. By the time she gets her degree, Christina is five and has spent the last few years providing constant encouragement for her mother. She walks at Jane’s side during her graduation. She gets a little stuffed bear with a cap and gown while Jane gets her doctorate. 

The next few years are a bit hectic. Jane tries to give Christina as much stability as possible. They live in one place for a few years while Jane teaches at the university and builds up goodwill with the staff in order to get the grant money she needs to fund her research. Her efforts finally pay off when Christina is about to turn nine. Jane sets up her lab in New Mexico and they move there for the summer. They might stay longer depending on what Jane finds, but she doesn’t tell Christina that just yet. She’s already complaining about how boring Puente Antiguo is.

To entertain herself, Christina reads and writes about all sorts of fun adventures she could be having. She’s never showed her mom this, or anyone for that matter, but she has a few strange little talents no one else seems to have. For example, she can sometimes move things around without touching them. One time, she swears she turned a mean kid’s hair blue when he was bullying her and her friends. Snakes seem to really like her. She can’t talk to them like Harry Potter, but they do follow her sometimes. There are tons of snakes in New Mexico, but she’s not too bothered by it. They all seem pretty nice.

Soon Darcy arrives and she more or less bonds with her new boss’s kid. When some guy in town starts hassling Darcy, Christina asks one of her snake friends to make him go away and the guy never comes back. Another guy makes fun of Jane on the street, calling her a crackpot. He rather suddenly trips over nothing and knocks a few of his teeth out. 

Jane does notice a lot of this stuff, but not once does she think to connect it to her innocent daughter. Meanwhile, Christina is well aware that she’s the one doing this. Somehow or other, she does have powers no one else has, and she’s starting to realize just how strong those powers might be.

It all comes to a head with the arrival of Thor. Jane went out with Darcy and Erik to watch for an incoming storm. Christina had to stay home, as this could be dangerous. So, of course, she snuck along in the back hidden under a blanket. She’s right there when Thor falls from the sky. Terrified that they’re all about to die, Christina unleashes a HUGE wave of magic. Big enough to disrupt the bifrost and send Thor flying into a nearby rock formation. He hits his head hard, and as he is now human. this is not an insignificant injury.

In fact, when they get to the hospital, the poor stranger has already slipped into a coma. Jane is left to comfort her hysterical daughter who won’t stop blaming herself for what happened, She finally admits the truth about her powers to Jane and demonstrates by summoning a pen from the nurse’s station. Jane is shocked and has no idea what to do. Christina interprets this as her mother being scared of her and runs away. Jane chases after her. By the time she turns the corner, Christina is gone. Jane searches the entire hospital, but her little girl is nowhere to be found.

Now comes Loki. He’s been pretty out of it ever since losing Jane. Though it’s been close to a decade on Earth, that barely feels like a week to him. Now Thor has been banished, he has some truly uncomfortable questions to ask Odin about his origins, and to top it all off, one of his old enemies has just randomly appeared with a little girl in tow.

(NOTE: I honestly have no idea who the enemy would be. If I actually wrote this I’d just figure it out later)

His enemy mocks him for growing soft and not protecting his progeny like he should have. Loki has no idea what the hell this guy is talking about until he gets a better look at the girl. Her midnight black hair, terrified blue eyes, that face just like a younger Jane.

Jane...

He hadn’t looked in on her since he left. He just couldn’t bring himself to. Now he wishes to all his ancestors that he had. The enemy issues a challenge, daring him to come and save his newfound daughter. He disappears with Christina, and try as he might, Loki can’t trace where they’ve gone. He has a few ideas, but he’s going to need some help.

And he’s going to need to correct some old mistakes as well.

At the hospital, the police have arrived and are searching for the missing girl. Jane curls up in the waiting room, thinking of everything that led them to this point. If only she hadn’t accepted the grant money. If only she’d gone somewhere else to search for bridges. If only she’d paid enough attention to her own fucking child to know that she was literally psychic. Or magic. Or something!

While she cries, a shadow appears over her. When Jane looks up, a tall man with dark hair and eyes like Christina is watching her.

It all comes flooding back.

She remembers Loki. She remembers their kiss, that monster thing that kidnapped her. Loki saved her, and then he told her they’d never see each other again. Then she woke up at home as if from a dream and it was like he never existed at all.

But he had. She knew now that she had, and she had a daughter to prove it.

Which still begs the question of how. She knows now that they definitely didn’t have sex. Loki’s theory is that his magic somehow infused with latent abilities within Jane herself (she might actually have a small percentage of Asgardian in her) and created a child born of them both. It’s a tenuous idea at best, but it’s all he has right now, and who even cares how Christina was conceived. Point is, she exists and she’s been kidnapped and Thor is in a freaking coma now and can’t help them. Time to gear up and save their kid!

Not going to go into too much detail here as I’ve already written way too much. Basically, Loki teaches Jane to harness the magic within. She already knows a few knife tricks from self-defense classes, so Loki gives her a new knife that never dulls and is virtually indestructible. When she’s ready, they strike out to find their daughter in the enemy’s secret hideout. At some point, Thor wakes up and rushes to help his brother. His willingness to go to a far off planet and fight to the death for a child he’s never met makes him worth of Mjolnir again at just the right time. Loki and Jane rescue their little girl, who instinctively knows her father the moment she sees him. The enemy is defeated and now they’re free to start over and live as the family they were always meant to be. 

[chloehl10]

I was tagged by the lovely @pocketsunshineharry​, thank you so much, love!

All answers should be about works published in 2018. (Skip any questions you don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can answer them if they want.)

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3:  29. Oops. Lol

2. Word count posted for the year:  

1,725,628. That’s 1.7 million words. I have no excuse.

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting):

A Lot Of Fight Left In Me You Bring Me Home Wonder How I Ever Made It Through Don’t You Remember? I Got Me An Appetite Tell Me That You Want Me Tonight Piece by Piece Hallelujah You’re Home Lucky Ones To Carry Love (I Can Show You How To) Slow Dance I Will Answer All Your Wishes You’ve Got This Spell On Me Look How Far We’ve Come My Baby Baby, Honey It’s Coming Home You’re My Only Hope Right Here Waiting Remedy I Knew You Were Waiting For Me With The Strength To Carry On Baby We Could Be Enough Lost Without You We’ve Already Won Feels Like Christmas  Let Me Be Your Star Made From Love Fairytale of New York You Were Made To Be Mine (wip)

4. Fandoms I wrote for:

One Direction 5. Pairings:

Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson 6. Story with the most

Kudos: You Were Made To Be Mine (wip) - 2,125 / Let Me Be Your Star (complete) -  1,177 Bookmarks:  You Were Made To Be Mine (wip) - 532 / Lucky Ones (complete) - 403 Comments: You Were Made To Be Mine (wip) - 3,111 / Let Me Be Your Star (complete) - 1,212

9. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

There’s two. You Were Made To Be Mine because I love it, and I think I’ve really created a world for these two characters, and Jacob is just one of my favourite characters I’ve ever written. Also Let Me Be Your Star. This was written on a whim after something on Twitter, and it’s just been so well received. I was proud of how accurately I wrote Louis, even before we saw on him on X Factor, and I’m just really proud of how it all went.

Oh and I have to mention my first long fic A Lot of Fight Left In Me. My heart and soul went into that story, and I love it so much. And Piece by Piece, this fic will always be so special to me.

10. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

I don’t want to say. I do have one, and in a way, I am tempted to orphan it. But hey.

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing:

This was hard. I’m going for this from YWMTBM chapter 56. “Lou….” Harry shuffled their bodies until his own legs were out in front of him, Louis’ body against his, silence broken by only Louis’ sobs, and Harry’s breaths. “Louis… you know it’s okay to not be okay, right? It’s not a weakness, sweetheart… you’re just, you’re just human.. Don’t ever be ashamed of hurting because I want to be the one you turn to… not the one you run away from, yeah? I want to share your burdens, wipe away your tears… hold you when you cry. Because I love you, Louis… so much, you have no idea how much.”

“Harry, I-”

“No, it’s my turn. Listen to me, please?” Louis nodded, more tears falling as Harry started to speak. He didn’t know if there was anything Harry could say to change his mind about this. No pretty words to fix it.

“You need to trust that I’m not going to run away when things get a little bit tough. Because I’m not, not now, not ever. You’ve been pushing me away, Louis, so fucking hard, and it hurt so bad because you wouldn’t let me in when all I wanted to do was help. I just want to be there for you-”

“But you nearly weren’t-” Louis whispered, the words falling from his lips. “You nearly left me, Harry… I… you nearly died, and you nearly left me. I had to listen to a doctor tell me that they didn't know if you were ever gonna wake up. I was nearly alone again, like before. I’ve never been so scared, Harry. I can’t bear the thought of you being taken away from me. I don’t want you to leave. It’s been easier to push you away, knowing that you would leave by your own free will, than losing you any other way.”

“I didn't want to leave… you have to know I never would have wanted that, Lou...” Harry was crying again now, reliving those awful memories, things he’d pushed deep down long ago, realising with horror that Louis had never moved on, had never really talked about how he felt when Harry had had his accident… how he’d nearly lost his husband. “But I’m here now, yeah? I don’t want to leave you, Louis. I want to grow old with you, and hold your hand every single day. I want to wake up to your beautiful blue eyes, and I want to share your pain, and your hurt. I want you to trust me, to let me do that for you.”

“You were there for me when I had my accident. You were my rock. You kept me going when I wanted to give up. When the physio was too much, I just wanted to give in, but you made me strong, Louis. You encouraged me… you believed in me. But now it’s my turn. It’s my turn to support you, to believe in you, like I promised when I married you. Please let me be there for you-” Harry’s voice cracked on the last word, meeting Louis’ eyes.

All Louis could see was honesty and love. There was a sincerity in Harry’s words that he just believed, and finally, he reached down, watching as his smaller hand sat on Harry’s, their fingers mingling gently, cautiously, as if they were afraid to touch. Louis bent his fingers, letting Harry clasp his hand in return. What seemed like such a small step seemed enormous to Louis, but he knew Harry was the only person he would ever want to be vulnerable with.

Despite everything… despite how hard Louis had tried to push him away, Harry wasn’t going anywhere. Harry loved him, and he loved Harry, more than he could ever say. He looked back into the eyes of his husband, the one who loved him in spite of his faults, who loved him because of them. Harry didn't see a broken man who he needed to fix. He just saw his Louis. Louis’ bottom lip wobbled as he stared deep into Harry’s eyes, as if he were looking into his soul, seeing the other half of himself.

12. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

Some of the comments I get make me want to cry, honestly. I’m not sure people know how much leaving a comment on AO3 means to authors. I’d be hard pressed to find just one, but anything where people can relate to my writing in their real life is always very touching. Here’s one that moved me deeply recently from my christmas fic Feels Like Christmas:

“Im not gonna lie, I had to take breaks reading this because it was SO SAD in parts, in between being so beautiful.Harry was just like an angel of Christmas in this and your Louis seemed, to me, to be VERY realistic. I can't imagine how losing Jay has affected him in general but especially on his birthday and at Christmas. She was such a beautiful mum and it still breaks my heart to read of her. The cemetery scene was perfection but heart-breakingly sad.I loved Harry delivering treats to the "neighbour" who turned out to be Louis. I wish I had a Harry :)Your writing was so sensory - which is something considering I'm Australian and rarely seen snow lol But the smells, sights etc of Christmas were just amazing.Terrific job, loved it :)“

13. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I went through a period of getting negative comments on YWMTBM and that was very hard to push through and tell the story I wanted to tell. But I did, and I am proud I did, because I write for me and that’s the most important thing. I have a story to finish, and I’m determined to. I also found the scenes in the middle of YWMTBM very hard and emotional, and I got caught up in Louis’ mindset for a while, which was very tough.

14. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: I wrote a section of YWMTBM where Louis was struggling a lot with his mental health, and I surprised myself by delving into a subject like that. It was quite different for me, but I hope I did it justice, and that people could understand Louis’ actions. Also I wrote an mpreg birth scene which I never expected to do lol.

15. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I feel my writing as a whole got better, I got more confident, and I was more able to craft stories.

16. How do you hope to grow next year:

To not take on so much lol, although I love writing so much.

17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

I’ve worked so much with @thecompasspointstohome​, one of my closest friends and she’s so much of an inspiration to me, no matter how much she ignores that I tell her that. She’s amazing, and my work would be a mess without her. I am forever grateful to have her.

18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Yes, a bit of a sad one. A child in my class in battling leukaemia at the moment, and he was the inspiration behind Mia and her story in A Lot Of Fight Left In Me. He still has his down days, but he’s an amazingly strong child and I hope he has the ending that Mia, Olly, Louis and Harry have in that story. 

19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write for you. That’s the most important thing I’ve found.

20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

My BDSM fic, and my Harry Potter exchange fic. I also have my fic for the Fanworks for Charity to write, as well as updating YWMTBM. I also have a few other stories in the works so wait and see :) Oh, and my tearjerker fic which I’ve been teasing forever on Twitter, oops...

21. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read.

Anyone who wants to do it, please do so!