#another one deactivated here and cant be found on ao3
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just venting
#cylas speaks#just copy pasting other people's fics into a weird document feels like stealing#but otherwise if they decide to delete their account I can lose so many favs#i know everyone has there reasons to leave tumblr and doesnt owe anyone to leave their account up or post everything on ao3 or whatever#I'm just. sad. a little.#I'm glad that one writer (literally one of the first onea i read) has theirs on ao3 and i have since downloaded my favs#one person just disappeared but idk if they had an ao3#another one deactivated here and cant be found on ao3#and then there are the ones who only have a few things up on ao3 so. you might still have some left.#worst is just when there were comfort fics lmao#sorry just venting
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Tagged by @kalutyka whom i adore - thank you very much, dear <3
1. why did you choose your url?
Laslus has been my username since I was like 8 and named my blue Uni Laslus bc I thought it was a cute name. Then it slowly became my username in every platform and now Las is my nickname with mutuals <3
2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.
Yeah! i have a study blog called @study-physics that i dont use half as much as i should. it motivates me to study and dear lord do i need motivation
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
This blog is 10 years old (so, 2011), but I previously had a harry potter blog that I created around 2009-2010 but deleted for some reason? i think maybe the kids from my middle school found about it? i cant remember sorry.
4. do you have a queue tag?
nope, i dont queue except for a few posts about specific dates. you get my insane posting schedule live :)
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
I was deep into harry potter and i wanted to find memes and art, but i was also depressed and quirky and in the early 2010s if you were quirky and depressed you came to tumblr
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
I love Loki from Loki Agent of Asgard/Young Avengers. its not that deep, sadly. When i was 16 i decided my icons would all be members of the Young Avenges (my pfp in Nyah! - a brazilian fanfic website is america chavez and my pfp at ao3 is also Loki but was Kate Bishop before) and i just never changed.
7. why did you choose your header?
I'm a scientist and sometimes i'm insane about it. I also love BDG
8. what’s your post with the most notes?
I actually ran my blog through this thing to find out. its this one about math, and its also the post im most proud of so :) this jatp shitpost is a close second tho
9. how many mutuals do you have?
I have no idea. i've been here for too long, sorry, but i have like 20-30 mutuals that i interact frequently with!
10. how many followers do you have?
2131 ! I gained a lot since I came back to the supernatural fandom (hi babes!!) but a bunch are deactivated/haven't posted in years (again, this blog is 10 years old)
11. how many people do you follow?
2518, but again a bunch are deactivated/haven't posted in years
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
yeah lmao
13. how often do you use tumblr each day?
More than i should have, i check the app a lot. i would say I'm sorry for the constant influx of reblogs, but I'm not
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?
I dont think so? I've been a master at avoiding discourse in this hellsite.
15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?
i dont reblog them. I think they are awful.
16. do you like tag games?
Yes!!! I love them so much!! pls tag me on them
17. do you like ask games?
Same, i adore them and if you send me an ask game I'll love you forever.
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
Oh, i dont know? in my head @ravingliberal and@previouslysaltyfandombrat are quite popular, maybe i just think they are cool. @driverpicksthemooseic is twitter famous, does that count? @realrollypratt is fandom famous but only in the small niche that is LWD fandom (i do think she is too cool to be my mutual tho)
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
I mean. yes. ofc i do.
20. tags?
ohh idk which one of you were already tagged but @queergoblin @fantastic-artemis @bygodstillam @the-sea-queen00 @previouslysaltyfandombrat @driverpicksthemooseic and @realrollypratt (but please feel free to answer it and tag me in it even if i didn't tag you, i love you, my memory just sucks)
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ohh okay what about Electrocution with (ugh i cant choose) Amos or Holden and/or Caught in an Explosion with Cal? 👀
Helllooo friend, thank you so much for your patience!! It’s only been like... two and a half months since you submitted this HAH I’m sorry lmao but hey, shit has really hit the fan in the past two and a half months, ya know?
(Here’s the link to the Electrocution with Amos and Holden story if anyone is looking for that one!)
So here we go! Caught in an Explosion with Cal! Which wound up approximately 2,000 words longer than I intended, so it’s going under a read more!!! The link to this story on Ao3 is at the very bottom)
Cal hit the ground running as soon as the ramp of the Mantis lowers, Merrin fast on his heels.
“The scavver ships are taking off,” Cere’s voice came over the communicator, “There’s movement in the hanger to your left, looks like villagers. We gotta take off again before these guys blow a hole in us, we’ll swing around to get you after we take out some of these ships.”
One of the scavenger ships screamed overhead as the Mantis took off, blaster bolts gouging into the cement and sending shards of rock flying into the air. Cal ducked his head and leaned forward, sprinting for the shelter of the hanger, BD-1 beeping excitedly from his shoulder.
Once inside the door, they ducked behind some crates as the ship took another pass, skimming along to fire in through the hanger door before buzzing past. It was gone for now, but they could be back in moments for another pass, so they had to act fast.
Cal peeked around the edge of the crate to investigate the group of people in the middle of the hanger towards the back wall. There were about a dozen of them, various ages and species, all haggard and exhausted looking, their clothing torn and smeared in dirt and oil. They were all gagged and hands tied, unable to free themselves but some were trying to loosen the knots on the person next to them, unable to see as they fumbled with the ropes and cables with their hands tied behind their backs.
“Cal, Scavvers on the ground coming your way!” Cere said.
“Go help the hostages,” Cal said to Merrin, “I’ll get the Scavs.”
Merrin nodded and silently slipped into the shadows, disappearing in a green mist.
Four Scavvers came blindly charging into the hanger, yelling wildly until the lead was silenced in a flurry of orange lightsaber. The body hadn’t even hit the floor before Cal dispatched the next two in the same spin, the blade slicing them both cleanly in half. He finished the move with a flourish, deactivating the secondary blade and gripping the hilt with both hands while leaping into the air to take out the last Scav in a downward slash.
Before he made contact with the Scavs helmet, his lightsaber was intercepted by the blade of a vibrosword. The impact vibrated up his arms and he staggered backwards as the Scavver pushed back hard against him. As Cal stumbled, the Scavver, a large human that towered head and shoulders over the young Jedi, swung the vibrosword at Cals head. He ducked under the attack, rolling on his shoulder to evade and get into a flanking position away from the vibrosword. As he popped to his feet again he lunged forward, driving his blade into the Scavvers torso.
The big man roared in agony, his limbs flailing at anything he could reach. Unfortunately for Cal, his head got in the way of a fist and he took a glancing blow across his temple. He fell to one knee as pain exploded in his head, his vision tilting to the side for the moment. He closed his eyes and breathed heavily, shaking his head as though that would stop his head from feeling like it would roll right off his shoulders. He could hear BD-1 trilling in his ear, but he couldn’t even focus on what the little droid was trying to say.
“Cal!” Merrin’s voice broke through and he realized she had called him several times already. She sounded panicked so Cal forced himself to his feet, opening his eyes finally as he turned towards her voice. It took a moment to focus on her. She stood over a crate, holding the lid in one hand and staring down at its contents. One of the hostages had her gag hanging around her neck, likely removed by Merrin, and she kept yelling the same thing over and over. Bomb.
“Merrin, get back!” He yelled, reaching out with the Force to grab the crate, yanking it away from her and closer to himself. From where it settled a few feet away he could see the lit up display on the face, where once there had been about ten bars were now only two and as he watched, the second line blipped out and left only one.
Calling on the Force again, he picked up the crate and with a scream of effort heaved it towards the hanger door. Just as the final line extinguished, he spun on his heel to run in the opposite direction, towards Merrin. Before he could take two steps, the bomb exploded in mid-air, the blast throwing Cal off his feet and then everything went black.
~~~
“Cal!” Merrin screamed as the Jedi was hurled through the air, limp as a rag doll when he hit the ground, shrapnel from the crate and even the ceiling of the hanger raining down around him.
She was already scrambling to his side before the dust could settle. He lay on his front, his head cradled in the crook of his elbow. The back of his leather vest was shredded, blood already seeping from too many holes to count and she could see several pieces of shrapnel that were still embedded in his skin.
“Cal!” Cere’s voice crackled over the communicator, “Whatever that explosion was, it scared off the Scavvers. Are you guys ok?”
Merrin tapped the button on her own device. “Cere, land immediately. Cal is injured.”
She could hear Greez yelling loudly in the background, asking if he was going to be alright, but she ignored him as the human hostage that had warned her of the bomb dropped to her knees beside the Nightsister, her hands still tied behind her back.
“I’m sorry,” the hostage whispered, “Please just untie me, that is all I ask. Let me free the rest.”
Merrin hurriedly pulled the ropes off before returning her attention to Cal, unsure of what to do to help until the Mantis returned. “Where will you go?” She asked the woman, not taking her eyes off Cal’s still form.
“If the Scavvers are gone and haven’t found it, we have a ship hidden in the forest. And if they found that, another of ours was to return tomorrow.” She placed her hand on Cal’s leg, looking over the damage. “I’m sorry you got caught in this. But I thank you for saving us.”
“He is unconscious, he cannot hear you.”
“It was meant for both of you,” the woman said. Someone from the group called out to her and she dipped her head in Merrin’s direction before rejoining the others and starting to remove their bindings.
Outside, engines roared as the Mantis settled on the cement, as close to the hanger as Greez could manage, the ramp almost extending all the way to the large door. Cere was at Cals side opposite from Merrin a moment later, her hands immediately reaching for Cal’s throat to feel for a pulse and any bones out of place. She nodded to herself, finding everything to be as it should before leaning over to look at his back.
“Cal, can you hear me?”
“We need to get him to the ship,” Merrin said when there was no response from Cal.
“Yes, give me a hand.”
Cere lifted Cal’s arm, draping it over her neck as she got her hands under his chest to lift him from the ground while trying to avoid touching his back as much as possible. He groaned as his head lifted from where it had been cradled against his arm, a large red pool revealed that was already staining his sleeve. She put her hand on his chin, tilting his face towards her to inspect the wound on his temple and the blood that trickled out of it.
“Cal?” She gently tapped her fingers on his cheek. His eyes flickered weakly behind closed eyelids, but he did not rouse.
Merrin took his other arm, draping it over her own neck so he was supported between them. Cere thanked the Force that the young Jedi wasn’t significantly larger than his female companions and if they didn’t need to be so mindful of his wounds she doubted either of them would need assistance carrying him on their own.
“Let’s move,” she grunted as she looped her arm around his torso, low on his back where there were fewer visible pieces of shrapnel. “Greez! We’re going to need the table clear and get the med bag out!”
“On it!”
With Cal limp between them it took a few moments to pick their way through the debris littering the ground, but finally they made it through the door of the ship just as a pile of plasteel plates that had been on the kitchen table crashed to the couch below as Greez hastily cleared off the table. The last few cups landed in the terrarium as Cere and Merrin dragged Cal up the steps and deposited him on the table, laying him on his stomach.
“Greez, where’s that medkit?” Cere called over her shoulder as she started removing layers, revealing pale, blood streaked skin. BD-1 bounced onto the table next to Cal’s head, beeping worriedly. He looked up at Cere and extended a stim canister to her with an inquisitive trill. “Not yet, BD-1. I need to get the shrapnel out first.”
BD-1 snapped his stim compartment shut again and hunkered down to watch Cere work until two ticks later when he had to move again as Greez came barging into the kitchen with the med kit, slamming it down on the table where BD-1 had just sat.
~~~
At the noise and vibration through the table, Cal jerked awake. He tried to push himself up and his yell of surprise turned to a groan of pain as he collapsed again, his arms shaking.
“Cal! Hey kid, stay still,” Greez’s hand was on his arm and he could feel other hands on his back pushing him down onto the cold surface. He turned his head to see who was holding him down and finally relaxed when he recognized Merrin and Cere standing over him, the familiar scene of the Mantis’ kitchen behind them.
“What happened?” He asked, closing his eyes and letting his head flop onto the table again.
“Bomb hidden in a crate, you didn’t get out of the way fast enough.” Merrin said. Cal opened his eyes when he felt a hand on his face and found his own wadded up poncho being offered as a pillow, which he gratefully accepted, allowing Merrin to help him lift his head off the table and shoving it under. He tried to move his arm to hug the makeshift pillow, but stopped when the movement sent pain shooting up and down his back.
“Stop moving,” Cere said. She was digging through the medkit, laying out bacta bandages and other ointments until she produced a pair of small tweezers. “I’m sorry Cal, but this is going to hurt.”
“Just get it out-” his words turned into a scream as Cere started to dig into one of the multiple wounds on his back, fishing for the wooden shards deep in his skin. He writhed on the table, trying to get away from the pain. Merrin placed her hand on the back of his neck, gently encouraging him to stay in one place. He tried to focus on the cool touch of her skin, anything to distract himself from the agony of his back. He could feel each piece being plucked from his skin, a strangled cry tearing through his throat with each shard.
Finally the pain became too much and he let himself be dragged into the darkness again.
~~~
Everyone in the kitchen sighed in relief as the young Jedi finally went limp again, surrendering to the relatively painless realm of unconsciousness.
“Hurry, before he wakes again,” Merrin said.
“Only a couple left,” Cere nodded. “Use that cloth and start cleaning the wounds for me, we need to get his back covered as soon as possible.”
Merrin picked the cloth up and started gently wiping away the blood, cringing a bit every time the movement caused one of the many wounds to seep more red onto his pale skin.
Soon Cere was also helping her clean him up and then draping strips of bacta bandages across his back.
“Ok BD-1, your turn.” Cere said, opening her hand towards the little droid crouched on the back of the couch. He popped up and shot a stim canister into the air, where Cere snatched it as it started to fall towards the table, sinking it into Cal’s arm in one smooth motion.
Cal sighed in relief as the stimulant rushed through him and he slowly blinked his eyes open again.
He lifted his head and flexed his jaw, the muscles aching from having it pressed to the impromptu pillow and cleared his throat. “Are we done yet?”
“Yes, we’re done.” Cere placed her hand on his head, gently rubbing circles in his hair with her thumb. “Try to go back to sleep, we’ll let the bacta do it’s work for a while and then get you to bed.”
“Oh but why, this table is so comfy,” Cal said, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he closed his eyes and repositioned himself on the poncho-pillow, trying to ignore the now dull pain as his back muscles stretched. He heard Merrin snort in laughter and squinted one eye open at her where she leaned against the kitchen counter. “You all should try it, it’s great.”
“Or we’ll just keep using it as an eating surface, thanks.” Cere gently flicked him on the ear before turning to start putting things back into the medkit. “Or we will once we sterilize it about twenty times.”
“Sounds like a you problem, I didn’t put myself here,” Cal yawned and closed his eyes again.
“No one is sleeping on the table after today,” Cere raised her voice to talk over him, a laugh floating around the edge of her voice, “I’m glad you’re feeling well enough to joke, but go to sleep, Cal.”
“Yes ma’am,” he said, stifling another yawn. Seconds later he was out, lulled to sleep by the hum of the engines and quiet conversation between his little family that he had found.
Read on Ao3!
#here's a thing I wrote#thank you for the request!#Bad Things Happen Bingo#Caught in an Explosion#JFO#Jedi: Fallen Order#Cal Kestis#jfofic#Anonymous#somehow I managed to insert a read more into the message and not the reply???#this website is so broken#long post#idk how to fix the read more sorry guys ):
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if you can't breathe- chapter 7
its finally here!!! a bit longer than the other chapters! I worked really hard on this one! comments are always appreciated!
read it here on ao3
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Peter was fading in and out. At times he could feel the ghost of pain across his skin, that's when he wished to fade out, and when he did, he wished to be present again. it's been so long he's become slightly numb- at least that's what he thinks, he knows that he damaged his wrist at some point, but he can feel the pain there now, it was slightly relieved. His thoughts are mostly blurry now, if they're even there at all. He hasn't moved in, what was it? 5 days? There’s no way to tell, no light, no windows. Peter knows it's been a while. His lips are dry, lungs wheezing slightly, when he can feel pain it's almost always in his stomach.
Peter fades in again, his eyes focus slightly and he recognises the faint outline of the cell door. God how much he wished someone would walk through there at this moment. Anyone.
His brain flicks back to the last memory he had before his master left him there. He was bending down in front of him, saying- something. Peter tried to concentrate.
“I know what it's like. To wait. I waited for weeks for my friends, they ever came. And neither will yours”
The way he said it was almost soft, as if he hadn't just spent weeks terrifying the boy.
Peter blinks as he remembers, he knows it's not true, it can't be, but at this point he’s starting to doubt himself. What has it been? Three and a half months last time he heard, probably longer now, Tony wasn't looking for him, he couldn't be, the video would've been enough to assure him peter was dead.
-------------------
“I haven't seen him out if his room in a week, steve”
“I know, im trying to get him to at least have a shower but he hasn't left his bed”
“He can't keep going on like this, it's been weeks”
Tony could hear the conversation from his bedroom, his position in the bed had not moved in days. He couldn't bear it. His mind was permanently rushing with thoughts of ‘what if we found him in time, what if we found him the first day? What if they never got to him? He would still be here, living, breathing, he isn't, all because of you’
Rationally, Tony knows he shouldn't be thinking like this, that they did all that they could. But it just wasn't enough was it? They didn't get there in time, and Tony had to reassure his kid as he slowly gaped for air that would never come. Tony squeezed his eyes shut and after a full day of the thoughts circling his head, he drifted off.
Outside though, steve and nat were still talking, trying to figure out how to help the grieving father, knowing that they’ve already tried everything.
“The only thing we can do now is wait and be there for him, hope that he sorts everything out soon,” Steve said solemnly, bowing his head and walking to the kitchen, him and nat both wished they could do something, anything to help.
Steve essentially dragged tony to the kitchen the next day to get him to eat something. He didn't take no for an answer. Tony was sat on one of the kitchen bar stools, hair mussed up and clothes crooked in every way. Around the kitchen were also nat and sam, making their own breakfasts and making casual conversation (Tony couldn't see how they could talk as if they didn't watch a child die a few weeks ago).
“You know Tony, you can't keep beating yourself up about this,” Tony blinked and noticed now steve was leaning over the counter towards him and speaking in hushed tones.
“I-” tony tried to intervene
“it's not your fault, you have to accept it, that kid’s gone, we all know” steve had a sad look on his face, tony was absolutely raging. ‘that kid’?
“Peter.” he essentially spat. Steve looked surprised that he actually spoke, let alone the fact that he was angry.
“I- what?” the captain spluttered
“His name. Was peter.”
“Oh”
“And don't you dare say that it wasn't my fault, it was all of our faults, we couldn't find him in time.”
“Tony-”
“No, steve” he hissed out his name, “don't say it, it's our fault, and yes, I am aware that he is- that he isn't here anymore- im very aware of the fact, so you can keep your damn mouth shut”
Nat decided to speak up now.
“Tony , we know you’re grieving” tony growled, yet she continued “your kid- peter. He's gone, there’s nothing we can do about it now but its been months, you’ve got to move on-”
“I cant!” tonys hands found themselves yanking at his hair, making it more messed up than it already was, “don't you think ive tried? Hes always here, i cant go down to my lab without seeing his things, hes room is opposite mine for fuck’s sake. And I can't even sleep! All i see when i close my eyes is his face, as he gasps, searching for reassurances as he fucking dies! And what did we do? We watched it happen! That's what we did!” Tony's face was now covered in tears streaming down his face, not intending to stop.
Tony took one more look at the three people in front of him, before turning on his heel and leaving, heading straight to his room, throwing himself on the bed and passing out.
--------------------
“Boss, you have one new message”
“ugh, ignore it fri”
“Sir-”
“I said. Ignore it.”
“Okay boss.”
Tony was sat in his room, staring mindlessly out the window for the last, hour now? He didn't keep count. With every second sat there, he wished one more time to just forget everything.
Two minutes later, friday spoke up again.
“Boss, you have been sent one video”
Tony groaned.
“Who’s it from fri?”
“You don't have them saved in your phone sir, the video contains two people, one identified as peter parker, the video is dated from a week ago I believe-”
Tony jumped up at once, not wasting a second before running into the hallway and heading straight into the lounge where the others were, they all looked surprised at his presence.
“He sent another one” he directed the statement to steve.
“What?”
“That- that- that guy sent another video,”
“Tony calm down, what guy? The guy that took peter?” Tony didn't bother wasting a breath, already hyperventilating at the realisation, peter, his kid could be alive, very much hurt but breathing. He was reeling. He still had doubts circling in his mind, it could be an old video with a different date, or it could be his body, oh god-
“Fri, play it on the screen”
The tv screen turned over to a black screen before flicking to a frozen picture of peter- god peter- tied to a chair, that bastard of a man stood behind him. Tony stood in shock, tears building in his eyes as he processed what was in front of him. The video started playing and the man started speaking, circling peter in the chair as he did so.
“Ah, hello again mr stark, so sorry we haven't been in much contact recently, today is- the thirteenth- so about a week before ill bother sending it to you.” Peter looked up slightly, eyes glazed over, gliding over everything, never locking onto anything, “such an unlucky number isn't it? Thirteen? I never found out why, something to do with the devil. Anyway,” he clapped, making peter flinch and tony curse under his breath, the others all stood in silence, stone faced and in shock, “so stark, this child right here is finally perfect, granted it took a bit of- conditioning, we got there in the end, didn't we pet?” the guy put a hand on Peter's shoulder and his eyes grew wide, finally processing everything.
He nodded, staring straight ahead, almost in a trance.
“Yes we did, though his vocal chords did get a bit damaged, this little one cant talk properly, partly because of the shocks and also because of- well you can guess. Anyway, im finished with him now, you can come get him,``Tony opened his mouth in disbelief, the man suddenly looking bored, peter’s face not changing, “yes, I know, you can really have him back, he’s useless to me anyway, no fun anymore. So here’s what's going to happen, ill send you this video along with the location in about- a week, and when you make it here, the child will probably be dead or dying from his injuries, who am I to say?” he chuckled.
“Oh and one more thing,” peter flinched, “before I leave, ill be sure to make my last mark on him, give you something to remember him by, you know?”
Peter looked straight into the camera for a moment in shock, before it cut out. Tony called the suit to him, the rest of the team already suiting up.
--------------
The base was almost empty, FRIDAY’s scan only picking up one heat signature. Tony decided to go alone, the rest of the team waiting on the jet if he needed backup. The team were all in their gear, except from bruce, who was on standby with medical.
“Tony, are you sure about this, we’ll all be fine going in with you?” steve grabbed his arm as he was about to fly to the base.
“I'm sure, steve, trust me on this, i'll call you if i need you.”
Without another word, Tony took off in the suit, helmet flipping down and friday marking out where the heat signature was.
Granted, it took a bit of searching, but eventually tony found the room, standing just outside the door he froze for a moment. What if peeta wasn't there? What if it was someone else?
No, it had to be peter. Without another word, Tony opened the door.
It was dark in the room, Tony's suit glowed in the darkness as it shone a light around the room. Tony’s eyes landed on a body in the corner, suit retracting as he stepped forward, He raised his hand to his mouth in shock as he got a closer look at the kid.
Peter didn't seem to be badly hurt, his right arm was bent at an odd angle, making tony grimace. His left ankle seemed slightly swollen, dried blood coated nearly all of the kids bottom half. He was deathly thin, he looked more like a skeleton then anything. Tony reached forward to rest his hand on the boy’s curls but gasped when his head fell limply forward.
Tony tapped the comm, activating it.
“I-i've got him, bringing him back to the jet now, get bruce ready,”
He then deactivated it before he could hear a response from steve. He stood up and scooped peter up in his arms,careful not to hurt him any further. He let his suit guide him out of the facility and back to the jet, he only looked up when he reached the others, laying peter down in the stretcher ready for Bruce to help him. He didn't take his eyes off his kid once.
You're okay now kid
tags:
@dreamingformuses
@baloobird
@keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars
@just-the-daydreamer
@verdonafrost
@tmifangirl21
(msg me if you wanna be tagged!!)
#irondad#spiderson#Tony stark and Peter parker#whump#hostage situations#kisnapping#angst#injuries#blood#sorry not sorry#slight mention of panic attack#grief#bargianning
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One Shot- The Rising of the Wood
fSummary: Geoff gets news of his former crew-mates coming into town and needs the FAHC to prepare for that. The only problem is that they can’t find The Vagabond. They think he might have been compromised and they track his phone to see where he might be captured. Instead of finding a captured Vagabond, they find a sickeningly domestic sight.
Sequel to “FAKE” Prostitute
Word Count: 8,068
Pairings: Ryan/Jon, Geoff/Jack. Gavin/Meg, Michael/Lindsay
AO3
Life at the Fake AH Crew was going pretty normal, or at least as normal as being a part of a criminal empire could be. The crew had successfully taken down the Vagos, which was relatively easy considering that the crew was in chaos after they lost their funding. After that, the Fake AH Crew had reaffirmed their place on top of the criminal food chain of Los Santos.
The crew had time to keep their empire on top, but they had also managed to keep active personal lives. Most of the crew had managed to find time for romance. Jack and Geoff had finally found romantic comfort in each other and fell into a loving relationship. Out of pity, Ryan set Gavin up on a date with another mercenary friend of his from outside of the crew, and the relationship between Gavin and the mercenary had been going strong. Michael had begun a relationship with a member of the crew’s backup team, named Lindsay, and Jeremy had found comfort in doing his job; having no patience for romance.
As for Ryan’s romantic life, he and his fiancé, Jon Risinger, had gotten married after the FAHC had taken care of the Vagos. The crew had planned the wedding and made it in the same chaotic way that they typically seemed to make most things. The planning process had annoyed Ryan, but Jon was more amused by the nonsense than anything. The wedding went off without a hitch. The reception included a burglary of venue where the wedding was held; it was chaotic and violent as anyone would expect from the Fake AH Crew. Jon convinced Ryan to just have fun with it since it was their big day, and nobody could make Ryan go quite as soft as Jon could.
A couple years had passed since Ryan’s wedding and the crew decided that they deserved a night off from their usual shenanigans. Jack was lounging in the crew’s penthouse living room on the couch with Jeremy, watching TV. “Is there anything you wanna watch?” Jeremy asked.
“Hm,” Jack started to think. “We could watch Aquaman because I’ve heard decent things about it. But, I wanna wait for Geoff since he’s gonna wanna watch with us.”
“Where did he run off to?”
Jack shrugged. “I think he went to his office because he had a phone call.”
Jeremy nodded. “Do you want to go check on him?”
“Sounds like a good idea. Wanna go see if the other Lads want to watch a movie, too?”
“Sure,” Jeremy replied. Then he stood up and walked to the bedrooms of the other Lads.
Jack sighed and stood up. He walked out of the living room and down to Geoff’s office. He opened the door and saw that Geoff was still on the phone.
“No, no. I promise you that everything is fine with the dynamic of my crew,” he heard Geoff say into the phone.
Geoff paused to let whoever he was on the phone with speak. “Well, Jack and I started dating, but you knew that,” he continued. He paused again, “Michael and Gavin even found little girlfriends so they’re in check, in that department,” he explained, further. Then, Geoff paused again. Jack entered the office while Geoff was listening to whatever the person, he was on the phone with was saying. “Look, the Vagabond’s personal life isn’t my business to share. Yeah, I know some of what’s going on with it-” he seemed to be cut off by whoever he was on the phone with. “I promise you that everything will be in order for when you and the guys come to visit.” Geoff paused one more time and sighed, “I’ll see you soon, Burnie,” he finally said as he hung up the phone.
Geoff groaned loudly if defeat. “So, Burnie from your old crew is coming to visit?” Jack asked, startling Geoff, as he finally let him know that he had entered to room.
Geoff regained his composure. “Try the rest of the Blood Gulch Crew,” he explained.
“That crew disbanded after you left, right?”
“Yeah, we all figured it was time to do our own things. Burnie went to Liberty City, Gus went to Vice City, and Matt and Joel went to San Andreas. They figured that it would be a good time for a reunion and I guess they figured that Los Santos would be the best location for it.”
Jack nodded. “Why were you talking to Burnie about the personal lives of everyone in the crew?” Jack repeated his question.
“Well I’m not exactly sure how he found out about this but,” he paused and gulped. “He knows about the internal crew conflict we had where we were all pining for Ryan.”
“Oh,” Jack said and he blinked in surprise. “Well, Ryan got married to someone outside of our crew,” he explained. He walked over to Geoff and wrapped his arms around his waist. “And we all found love of our own.” Then, he placed a kiss on Geoff’s cheek.
Geoff smiled. “Jack, I love you.”
“I love you too. Now come on, Jeremy and I were gonna watch a movie. We were thinking about watching Aquaman.”
“As nice as that sounds, I think I’d like to talk to the crew and let them know my old crew is having a reunion and coming into town.”
Jack sighed. “Fine. I think Jeremy might have gotten the rest of the Lads to join us for movie night.”
“Perfect! I knew there was a reason I loved you.”
Jack rolled his eyes and he and Geoff walked over to the living room. They saw Jeremy and Michael sitting on the couch. “I thought you were gonna get all the Lads,” he said to Jeremy.
“I tried.” Jeremy replied.
“Gavin was being weird and his girlfriend has a job out of the country this week, so he’s Skyping her or something,” Michael added.
“Well, before we can start crew movie night, we need to have a quick meeting,” Geoff announced.
“Ugh, lame,” Jeremy complained.
“I’ll go get to the shithead,” Michael said as he got up.
“And see if you can grab Ryan while you’re up,” Geoff said.
Michael rolled his eyes and walked to Gavin’s room. He slammed the door open. “Impromptu crew meeting!” he announced.
“GAH!” Gavin yelped in shock.
“What’s wrong babe?” Gavin’s girlfriend asked.
“Sorry love, Michael startled me,” Gavin replied to his girlfriend.
“This meeting is either gonna be really important or really stupid, but Geoff wants to have it now, so you’re gonna need to wrap this call up,” Michael explained.
“I…” Gavin stuttered.
“Gavin, if you have work to do, don’t let me keep you from it. I’ll still be setting up my hit job when you get back,” Gavin’s girlfriend said.
Gavin sighed. “You’re the best,” he replied with a smile.
“I know.”
Gavin snorted, “I love you, Meg.”
“And I love you, too. Goodnight, boy.”
“Goodnight, girl,” he said as he blew Meg a kiss. Meg caught the kiss, put it on her lips, then hung up the call.
“Come on,” Michael said as he waved for Gavin to follow him.
“You know, I wouldn’t have done that if you were Skyping with Lindsay,” Gavin replied with a huff.
Michael rolled his eyes. “Lindsay works with us, so she’s probably not gonna travel across the globe as much. We have to look for Ryan so we can have whatever crew meeting Geoff’s trying to have.”
Gavin sighed in dismay and got up. He followed Michael out of the room as then went to go look for Ryan. They checked his room, but his room was empty. Then they check the B-Team room, the penthouse game room, the rest of the crews’ rooms, and the meeting board room where they normally planned their heists but there was still no Ryan.
They walked back out to the living room. “Did you guys actually look for Ryan?” Geoff asked, impatiently.
“Yeah!” Gavin exclaimed in defense.
“And he’s not in the penthouse,” Michael explained.
“Well, where the hell could he be?” Geoff asked.
“He could be in the gym, downstairs,” Jeremy suggested.
Then, Geoff got up. “Well, come on guys, let’s go get him.”
“Do we all really need to go get him?”
“Yep, if he sees all of us, he’ll know that this meeting is important.”
The crew groaned and got up out of their seats. Geoff waved them on and they all followed him downstairs to the crew’s gym.
“Ryan, we’re having a crew meeting!” Geoff called out into the gym when they got down there. The rest of the crew looked around and the gym looked relatively clear, at the moment.
“Geoff, I don’t think anyone is down here,” Gavin said.
“I’ll check the locker room to see if he’s getting ready for an evening gym set or something,” Michael volunteered.
“You do that, then,” Geoff replied. Michael nodded and ran off to the gym locker room. Suddenly, Jack’s eyes widened. Geoff noticed Jack’s face change. “Babe?”
“I just remembered that Ryan asked for tonight off,” Jack replied in embarrassment.
“Shit, he normally does something reckless when he takes ‘nights off,” Jeremy replied.
“Normally?” Geoff asked.
“Remember when he and Jon were having an argument and he asked for a night off? He came back a few days later covered in bruises and his wrists were sore. He said that he and Jon’s fight was over, but it was clear that he had to have done something stupid to fix it.”
“I know he told me why he asked for the night off, tonight, but I can’t, for the life of me, remember why,” Jack added.
“Fuck…” Geoff trailed off
“He’s not in the locker room,” Michael said as he ran back to the crew.
“Apparently, we forgot that Ryan asked for the night off, tonight, but we can’t remember why he asked for off,” Geoff explained.
“Damn, the Vagabond could be causing mayhem anywhere.”
“I can track his crew phone to get a location on him,” Gavin offered.
“Great. Let’s go back upstairs and find our Vagabond,” Geoff commanded the rest of the crew. They all nodded and followed Geoff back upstairs.
Once the crew got back upstairs, Gavin dashed back to his room. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” Michael called after him.
“TO TRACK RYAN’S PHONE, LIKE I SAID,” Gavin yelled back.
The crew followed Gavin’s voice back to his room. They found him hard at work on his computer. “What do you have?” Geoff asked.
“Well, you put a tacker chip in every time you get us new phone. I’m the one in charge of deactivating the trackers when the phones get disposed of. Ryan’s tracker chip is still active so I can find his phone, and probably find him, as well,” Gavin explained.
“Well?” Geoff nervously replied.
“Patience, Geoffrey,” he said as he continued to pull up the right programs to track Ryan’s phone. After a few minutes he was able to pull up to the location of the phone. “And there we have it,” he announced.
Everyone looked at the phone location that was displayed on the computer. “Wait, is that Rockford Hills?” Jeremy asked.
“It appears so.”
“What the hell is Ryan’s phone doing in a residential area?” Michael asked.
“No idea.”
“We have safe houses in that area. You never know if some other smalltime crew has a safe house there and they pissed Ryan off or something,” Geoff speculated.
“Hm,” Gavin started. He plugged the address of the building the phone was located in into his security disabling program that he had originally made to use for heists, but the building didn’t seem to have any electronic security to speak of. “This particular house doesn’t seem to have any electronic security system, so it won’t cause any unnecessary commotion if we silently break in.”
“Perfect, let’s go save us a Vagabond,” Geoff announced. The Lads nodded and ran out of the room. Jack’s eyebrows furrowed. “Jack?” he asked.
“Something about this break-in here doesn’t feel right. What if this house just belongs to Ryan as his place of residence outside of crew life?” Jack said.
“That sounds ridiculous.”
“He does have a husband that he may want to share a typical domestic life with outside of the criminal world with.”
“Did you forget that his husband is also a criminal who’s heavily involved in the Los Santos underground, so I doubt they have any sort of domestic life. Now come on,” Geoff argued as he rushed out of the room. Jack sighed in defeat and followed behind him.
45 minutes later, they pulled up in front of the house were Ryan’s phone had been located. Jack looked out the window of the truck they all piled into. “It doesn’t look like anybody’s home,” he pointed out.
“That’s probably what they want you to think,” Michael argued from the back of the truck.
“Let’s get up to the front door,” Geoff said.
“I’ll pick the lock.” Gavin offered.
“I’m glad we’re trying to do this quietly, I’m still a bit sad that we had to give up movie night for this,” Jeremy said.
“Let’s go,” Geoff said as he opened his door and got out of the truck. The rest of the Lads followed suit. Jack loudly sighed before he got out of the truck. By the time Jack caught up to the crew, Gavin had successfully picked the lock. “Ready? One, two,” then Geoff slammed the door open. “FREEZE!” he yelled.
The crew didn’t hear anything at first, but then they heard the sound of a dog barking. “Is an attack dog coming after us or,” Jeremy tried to ask, but is cut off by the sound of a giant St. Bernard barreling towards him. The dog tackled him to the ground and began slobbering him with kisses.
The crew of the pulled out their guns to shoot the dog. At the sound of the guns cocking, the dog climbed off of Jeremy and began whining. “Wait a minute,” Jack said. He felt up the wall and found a light switch. He flipped the lights on and found that they were in what looked like a completely normal entrance hallway.
“You guys can put your guns down for the moment, he,” Jeremy paused and saw the dog tag on the dog’s neck and read its name. “I mean, she, didn’t actually hurt me. She just scared me and gave me a bunch of kisses,” he explained to the crew as he got up and shut the front door. The dog sat down and wagged her tail, wildly.
“Not a very good guard dog,” Michael said. Jeremy shrugged and gave the dog a gentle pat.
“Come on, let’s go find who’s captured Ryan and where they’re keeping him,” Geoff said. The crew nodded and went off to explore the house.
While walking through the living room, Gavin heard a strange rumbling coming from a fluffy lump on the couch that didn’t quite look like a pillow. He went over to inspect the oddly shaped lump. As soon as he touched the lump, a cat’s head popped up. “Oh, hello,” he greeted the cat. The cat got up, stretched, and began to sniff Gavin’s hand. The cat began to rub against Gavin’s hand. “Well, aren’t you a friendly one,” he cooed.
Jack walked into the living room and saw that Gavin was distracted by the cat. “Gavin, I thought you were trying to find Ryan,” he said.
“I was, but then, Mister,” Gavin paused to check the cat’s collar to find its name, “Vernon, here decided to be lovely company.”
Jack sighed, “You know, I’m not so sure that the Vagabond is in any trouble, here,” he said.
“Why do you feel that?”
“This feels too domestic for that,” he admitted.
“Do you really thing Ryan would be okay with a peaceful domestic life?”
“There are clearly more sides to Ryan than he’s willing to show us, and I think he still wouldn’t want us to know about things after the whole pining fiasco.”
“Maybe you’re right. Even though, I thought we earned his trust back.”
“He may trust us, again, but that wouldn’t mean he’d comfortable showing us everything.”
“I suppose…” Gavin trailed off.
“I found a torture chamber here!” Michael called out from down the hall.
“Really?” Jack asked in surprise.
“Yeah, but it was really weird,” Michael said as he walked in the living room. “It didn’t It’s super clean in there, like it smelled like Febreze. The slings and gangs to hold and silence victims still is super colorful and tacky. There were no knives, only oddly shaped vibration devices, and there was a first aid kit. Who the fuck keeps a first aid kit in a torture chamber?!”
Jack raised an eyebrow. “That sounds really weird for a torture chamber.”
“Guys, I found Ryan’s crew phone but no Ryan,” Jeremy said as he walked back into the living room.
“Where did you find it?” Gavin asked.
“In the master bedroom. on a side table, charging, which is a really weird place to keep a hostage’s phone.”
“That is… kinda odd,” Gavin said.
“Maybe Ryan’s not being captured here…”
“He might not actually be captured at-” Jack was cut off by the sound of the garage door opening. “Shit,”
“Let’s hide by the door into the house from there, so we can jump them by surprise,” Michael suggested.
“Maybe we don’t,” Jack started to say, but he saw that the Lads had already left. He sighed and walked to the area where the Lads were hiding. “I’m not sure this is a good idea,” he said to the Lads.
“Nonsense, this is-” Gavin was interrupted by the door opening.
Ryan and Jon walked into the house dress in business casual outfits and everybody’s jaws dropped. “Thank you for the wonderful dinner,” Jon sweetly said to Ryan.
Ryan smirked. “The evening’s not over yet,” he said smugly.
“Oh?” Jon replied with a devious smirk. Suddenly the dog came trotting into the hallway where they were standing. “Oh hello, deary,” he greeted the dog and gave her a quick pet.
Ryan leaned down to pet the dog. “Oh, darling Clarice, Papa is trying have some fun with Daddy,” Ryan said as he stood back up and pulled Jon into a kiss. The dog blinked and walked over to the side.
Ryan’s tongue entered Jon’s mouth and Jon blinked in surprise. He quickly decided to go along with it and his tongue invaded Ryan’s mouth, in return. Ryan reached up and began to unbutton the button’s on Jon’s dress shirt. Jon pulled away. “Eager, aren’t we?” Jon teased.
“I’m not sorry for being eager to please my beautiful husband.”
“Wouldn’t you rather do this in our bedroom?”
“It’s our house, we can fuck in any room we want to.”
“Well then, Jon said as he smirked and pulled Ryan back into a kiss. They two of them went back to making out. Ryan continued to unbutton Jon’s shirt while Jon began undoing Ryan’s belt.
“What the fuck,” Michael murmured.
Suddenly, Geoff ran up to the scene with his gun raised. “I know you have the Vagabond’s weapons, so where the fuck are you keeping him, you sick…” Geoff paused his rant when he realized that the crew that had captured the Vagabond was really just Ryan and Jon being intimate.
Jon heard Geoff’s yells and he pulled away from his kiss with Ryan to looked over at Geoff. “Oh… I didn’t know we were expecting guests, tonight,” he said, shyly, as his flushed in embarrassment.
Ryan looked over and saw Geoff, as well. His eyebrows furrowed and his face began to grow red, in anger. “We… weren’t…” he growled.
Geoff gulped. “Geoff, maybe we should get out of here…” Michael whispered up to Geoff.
Ryan heard Michael’s whisper and his scowl grew deeper. “There’s more of you?!” he shouted in anger. The rest of the crew got up from their hiding place behind the doorway and revealed themselves. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!” he screamed.
Jon rubbed Ryan’s shoulder to try to get him to relax. “Calm down, dear. I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for this,” he said.
“Well, I’ve got a question. Why the hell weren’t you keeping your crew phone on you?!” Geoff exclaimed.
“Tonight, is a special night for Jon and I, so I asked for tonight off! I thought you would at least respect that!” Ryan shouted.
“Deciding that it was date night for you and your husband shouldn’t make you ignore crew business, I thought you were better than that!”
Jacks eyes widened in realization as he suddenly reminded of why Ryan had really asked for the night off. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, Rye. We shouldn’t have done this to you, tonight.”
“Jack?” Gavin asked.
“I just remembered the real reason he asked for the night off.”
“Yeah, to have date night with his husband,” Michael said.
“IT’S THE SECOND ANNIVERSARY OF JON AND I’S MARRIAGE, YOU INSENSITIVE PRICK!” Ryan yelled.
The crew’s eyes widened in horror; their faces flushed in shame. “Shit… I feel like a dick, now…” Jeremy said.
“That’s because you were.”
“Fuck, now even I feel bad,” Geoff admitted.
“You all should feel ashamed of yourselves for breaking into Jon and I’s home on our anniversary!”
“I’m sorry… It’s just that I have a big event coming up that I need the crew, and especially you, to be prepared for…”
“Well, I’m not sure I’m willing to deal with this, right now!”
“But…”
“NO!”
“Honey,” Jon said to get Ryan’s attention. “I think you should hear them out. Take care of business with them so that they’ll leave sooner and we can go back to what we were doing.”
“I,” Ryan started to argue, but Jon brushed his palm against one of Ryan’s cheeks and smooched the other. Ryan’s scowl turned into a soft smile. Then he sighed in defeat and focused his attention back on his crew. “Geoff and Jack can follow me to my office to discuss things. Lads can come back too if they’re needed. And let’s get this done quick because I want you to get the hell out of my house, ASAP!”
“It might be a good idea to all get together and just talk about it, all at once,” Jack said.
“Does it have something to with your old crew?” Jeremy asked.
“How did you,”
“I heard you on the phone with someone talking about Blood Gulch Crew, while Michael and I were walking back to the living room. Don’t know what you were talking about but this whole situation the we’ve just had has been a bit much, for me.”
“I wanna pet the fluffy kitty, again,” Gavin said.
“If the rest of the Lads want a break, then so do I,” Michael said, next.
Geoff and Jack sighed in defeat. “Fine. Ryan, show us where your office is so we can discuss upcoming events,” Geoff said.
Ryan nodded. He led Geoff and Jack out of the entryway and to his office and the dog followed them out. Jon rolled his eyes and sighed. He would never understand the ridiculousness of the Fake AH Crew, but knew Ryan loved his crew, even with their poor timing for things.
“So… how did you get Ryan to just calm down like that?” Jeremy asked.
Jon glanced down at the old engagement ring Ryan had given him three years ago that he still liked to wear and smiled. “You could say I have him wrapped around my finger,” he replied.
“It’s pretty impressive. He’s so terrifying to the world, but he seems to go all ooey-gooey for you,” Michael said.
“He wasn’t always like that around me. The first time we met involved him threatening to kill me.”
“Wait, he wanted to kill you?”
Jon nodded in confirmation.
“And you still kept him around?” Gavin asked.
“And it was the best decision of my life.”
“There has got to be a story of him wanting to murder you, then falling in love with you,” Jeremy said.
“Come to the living room with me and I’ll tell you the story of how Ryan and I met and eventually got together,” Jon said as he motioned for the Lads to follow him.
They walked to the living room and the Lads settled on the couch. Jon sat in a lounge chair by the couch. “Okay, this is the story of how Ryan and I,” Jon was interrupted by the murpping of the fluffy cat. The cat hopped up onto Gavin’s lap and started purring.
“Daw, I think your cat likes me,” Gavin cooed.
Jon smiled. “Vernon is a very friendly cat. And Clarice, the St. Bernard that’s been flopping around, is also a very friendly dog. I’ll talk a little bit about them after the end of the story.”
“Are you gonna tell the story, because now, even I’m curious,” Michael said.
Jon clapped his hands together. “So, this is the story of how the Vagabond and the Rismonger fell in love.
The criminal world was turned upside-down in 2008. One of the members of the most notorious crews in the country, the Blood Gulch Crew, had split from their ranks to go start his on crew in Los Santos. After that member left the crew, the rest of the crew split apart.
The Rismonger had been an avid follower of the Blood Gulch Crew, keeping the fear of that crew alive with his new and rumors of the chaos that they caused. But with the crew broken up, the Rismonger felt like his rumor mill had no fuel to go on. Sure, there were other mafias, crews, and criminal empires out there to spread news about, but none of them were quite as fun as the Blood Gulch Crew had been. He needed to come up with an idea of how to keep in rumor mill turning.
The Rismonger thought that maybe it would be a good idea to follow the former Blood Gulch Crew member, “Grif,” to Los Santos to see how that new crew venture was treating him and to see if it was actually successful. Luckily, it had been a success for “Grif,” or “Kingpin” or “Ramsey” as he was now calling himself. “Kingpin” had managed to pull together a driver, a demolitions expert, a sniper, and a hacker who had previously worked a bit with him in his old crew. They called themselves the Fake AH Crew and they caused chaos all over Los Santos, giving the Rismonger plenty of rumor material to work with.
Of course, the Fake AH Crew had hired additional gunmen to assist with their heists. The additional hire that caught the Rismonger’s attention was a mercenary called the Vagabond. The man wore a black leather jacket with silver stripes on the sleeves and blue shoulders, black jeans and boots, and a vinyl skull mask. The mask was supposedly considered scary to the people the Vagabond tortured, but the Rismonger thought the mask sounded tacky. If the Vagabond wore a cheap mask to try and scare his victims, then he clearly shouldn’t be taken seriously. And Rismonger was determined to let the underground of Los Santos know that the Vagabond was a big phony and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
Rismonger spread rumors questioning the legitimacy of the Vagabond, going out of his way to try and ruin his reputation. The Vagabond, of course, got word of this and couldn’t let it slide. Though his personal hacking skills weren’t the most refined, after a few months, he was able to hack into the Rismonger’s rumor blog and trace the location of his computer. The Rismonger noticed he had been traced and prepared to fight back if necessary.
On evening, the Rismonger was typing up a blog talking about how fake the Vagabond’s skull mask looked when the door of his apartment busted open. There was a loud roar of anger coming from whomever had broken in and the intruder stalked in, searching for Rismonger. Rismonger gulped, he had been expecting this. He grabbed his gun and pointed it at the door to his office.
“RISEMONGER!!!!” the intruder yelled. They ran into the office, gun pointed at the Rismonger. The Vagabond had finally found him.
“So, you finally found me, trying to prove you’re not a big phony. It’s almost cute,” the Rismonger taunted.
“You’re a fool to run your mouth when you know absolutely nothing!”
“You’re all for theatrics. Who besides a child would even be afraid of a vinyl skull mask, like you have? Keep your Halloween costumes saved for October!”
The Vagabond roared and ran at the Rismonger. The Rismonger was quick and tried to get out of Vagabond’s reach, but the Vagabond was able to catch the Rismonger and slammed him against the wall, making the Rismonger drop his gun. As the Vagabond was pulling the Rismonger up, he was able to grab the skull mask and rip it off the Vagabond, revealing his real face. The Vagabond roared in anger as he pulled the Rismonger away and slammed him against the wall, again.
“Now, I’m going to make your death especially more gruesome,” the Vagabond growled as he pressed his gun against the Rismonger’s temple.
The Rismonger looked up at the Vagabond and blinked. The Vagabond had black hair, pulled back in short ponytail. He also had a strong jaw, a sharp nose, and piercing blue eyes. Overall, he was actually very handsome. An idea of how to get out of he could possibly get out of this situation quickly popped into the Rismonger’s mind.
“You know, a scowl doesn’t suit you,” the Rismonger said with a confident smirk.
The Vagabond’s eyebrows furrowed deeper. “You choose to continue to make fun of me before you die?!”
“I don’t know if I’m actually gonna die here.”
“OF COURSE, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!!”
“I’m going to try something try something before you, ‘kill me,” Jon said. Then, he reached up with his free hand as grabbed the Vagabond’s chin. The Vagabond tried to get the Rismonger’s hand away, but it was too difficult since both of his hands were full. The Vagabond blinked in shock when the Rismonger pulled his head forward and pulled him into a deep kiss.
Ryan felt the movement of the Rismonger’s tongue in his mouth, feeling the foreign tongue explore his mouth. It had been years since someone had kissed him like that. He wasn’t sure if it had really been that long since he had kissed someone like that, or the kiss was just that magical.
The Rismonger pulled away and coughed. “I’m sorry that I did that…” the Rismonger apologized.
“Huh?” the Vagabond asked, still reeling in shock from the kiss.
“Kissing you without your consent was completely wrong of me and I shouldn’t have done it. If you want to kill me now, you would be completely justified.”
“I…” the Vagabond stuttered. He dropped his gun and touched his lips. He had to figure out if the kiss had really been that good. “Kiss me, again,” he commanded.
“What?” the Rismonger asked, blinking in surprise.
“Kiss me. Again.”
The Rismonger gulped and pulled the Vagabond back in for another kiss. His tongue entered the Vagabond’s mouth while the Vagabond’s entered his. He tried to explore new areas of the mouth that he hadn’t ventured to yet. The Vagabond’s tongue had a whole new place to explore. The Vagabond dropped the Rismonger and grabbed the shoulders of the Rismonger’s jacket and pulled him out of it. In response, the Rismonger unzipped the Vagabond’s jacket and tried to work him out of it. The Vagabond pulled away and quickly got out of his jacket. He came right back in and started making out with the Rismonger, again.
The Rismonger stuck his hands on the Vagabond’s butt and started groping it. The Vagabond started to palm at the Rismonger’s crotch when the Rismonger pulled his hands from the Vagabond’s butt and broke the kiss. “I think I know where this is going,” he said.
“Do you?”
“I think the bedroom would be a better place for this.”
“I’m not sure where your bedroom is, so you’re gonna have to lead the way,” the Vagabond replied in a gravelly voice.
The Rismonger gave a confident smirk. He grabbing the Vagabond by the collar and pulling him to his bedroom. When they got there, he pushed the Vagabond onto the bed and began rummaging through his dresser for supli-
“So, your old crew knows about how you all were pining for me when Jon and I got engaged, and now they’re all coming to visit and they want to see if I’m still loyal to you?” Ryan asked as he, Geoff and Jack walked into the room, interrupting Jon’s story.
“That’s basically it,” Geoff replied.
“It shouldn’t be that hard unless our actions tonight ruined that,” Jack said.
Ryan pinched that bridge of his nose. “I don’t know why I deal with you sometimes… but my loyalty remains,” he replied.
“You do it you because you still like them, most days,” Jon interjected. Ryan opened his mouth to argue, then closed it and sighed.
“By the way, were you the one spread rumors about the whole ‘pining debacle’?” he asked Jon.
“What!? No! we talked about that. I promised not to spread that information around as long you still liked your crew!”
Geoff thought back to the thing he may have said to Burnie and his face flushed in embarrassment. “Yeah… I, uh, may have accidently said something to him about that whole thing at some point while we were planning your wedding…” he admitted.
“You’re a fucking idiot, sometimes, you know that?” Ryan asked in annoyance. Geoff sheepishly shrugged.
“Jon has been telling us the story of how you two got together,” Michael said to try and turn the conversation back to a pleasant place.
“Oh?”
“And I was just about to get to the part about our first sexual encounter,” Jon said.
Ryan’s face flushed in embarrassment. “Actually, could you not talk about that?” Ryan asked.
“How come you want me to leave that out?”
“I’m… not comfortable with the crew knowing about our sex life.”
“Alright, sure.”
“Aw, I was curious to know about it,” Gavin whined.
“I’m not. I walked in on you guys after you two got engaged. And I know Ryan being a bottom was probably a one-time thing, but I don’t really want to know about the rest of it.”
Ryan gulped, him being a bottom was actually more regular then he was willing to admit to his crew. “Actually,” Jon began to say.
“NOPE!” Ryan yelled.
“Alright, point taken.”
“So, now that I know about the situation, would you guys please get out of my house?”
“Daw Rye-bread, but I wanted to hear more of the Jon and your getting together story,” Gavin whined.
Ryan thought about it. He knew that Gavin and possibly the rest of the lads would keep asking him about it if he didn’t let Jon finished, so he figured that it would just be easier to let him finish. He went over and sat on the arm of Jon’s chair. “Fine. But when Jon’s done, you all need to get the fuck out,” he said.
“Cool.”
“So, can you fill us in on what we missed so far?” Geoff asked.
“Basically, Jon was spreading bullshit rumors about the Vagabond being a phony. Vagabond got mad and went to kill him. Jon kissed him to try and escape death. Ryan liked the kiss and they started making out. I think it turned into sex, I think,” Michael explained.
“It did,” Jon said to confirm.
“Hm,” Jack replied and nodded in understanding.
“I’m going to continue now, okay?”
“Alright,” Geoff said with a nod.
“But, please skip to the post-sex scene,” Ryan said.
“Okay, honey,” Jon replied.
Both the Rismonger and the Vagabond sat up in bed after they had finished their rounds sex. They had had sex well into the early morning. The Vagabond was out of breath after having some of the best sex he had had in a very long time; it had been enjoyable since he decided to relinquish control. Rismonger had much more stamina than the Vagabond, so he was still able to breath steadily.
The Rismonger pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He lit one so he could smoke. He offered the box to the Vagabond so he could take one if he wanted. The Vagabond took a moment for his breath to even out, then he took one. The Rismonger lit his lighter and offered the flame to the Vagabond. “Thanks,” he said as he lit his cigarette.
The Rismonger took a drag of his cigarette. “Well, that was fun,” he said.
“I…” The Vagabond started to say. He took a deep breath. “That did not go as planned…”
“You know, your cigarette is gonna burn out if you don’t smoke it,” the Rismonger said. The Vagabond started to smoke the cigarette he had been offered. “I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did.”
The Vagabond had enjoyed that a little more than he was willing to admit. He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth. “It wasn’t bad. But just so you know, I’m not much of a one-night stand kind of guy,” he replied.
“Well, I’m not much of a relationship kind of guy, if that was what you were insinuating.”
“I was just hoping to get to know you better, but I could just come back here to try and kill you, again.”
“No, please don’t. Look,” the Rismonger started to say. Ten, he put out his cigarette. “Normally my rumors are based on fact, but my Vagabond ones were more based on me thinking that the skull mask was childish. I now see that you can be very intimidating. And even though how you were in bed doesn’t seem to reflect that, I now know I shouldn’t lie to the world about something I knew so little about.”
“I’m assuming that was an apology of sorts.”
“It was.”
“Well, apology accepted,” the Vagabond replied. He took one last drag of his cigarette before he snuffed it out.
The Rismonger nodded. “But if you do want to get to know the real me, I’m going to want to get to know the real you.”
“That can be arranged.”
“Let’s start with names, then. I’ll start. Hello, my name is Jon Risinger,” the Rismonger said as he offered his hand to shake.
The Vagabond looked at his hand and took a deep breath. “… Ryan Haywood,” the Vagabond introduced himself as he shook Jon’s hand.
“It’s nice to meet you, Ryan.”
“You as well, Jon.”
“By the way, I have a little tip for you. If you ever get in a situation where someone rips off your mask, again, you might want to give yourself extra identity protection over your real face. Face paint underneath might be a good idea.”
“I like that idea. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” Ryan replied with a smile.
Jon returned the smile. “I believe this is the beginning of a beautiful ‘Friends with Benefits,” he said.
“Friends with Benefits,” Ryan replied in agreement.
And so, Ryan Haywood and Jon Risinger began a platonic physical relationship. This continued for the next eight months. Over the course of those eight months, Jon and Ryan got to know each other and became platonic friends who happened to have sex with one-another. Over the course of those eight months, the two of them began to grow feeling that were less than platonic for each other, though neither one of them was quite sure how to admit that to the other.
Eight months after the relationship began, Ryan was offered a fulltime job as a part of the Fake AH Crew. This was big new since the Fake AH Crew was the most powerful crew in Los Santos. The Vagabond’s infamy grew exponentially after the Rismonger stopped trying to destroy his reputation, the Rismonger even created rumors that made fear of the Vagabond grow even more.
To celebrate the Vagabond joining the Fake AH Crew, Jon and Ryan had a very special session of sex. Jon even let Ryan to-
“NOPE! YOU ARE NOT TELLING THEM ABOUT US FUCKING!” Ryan shouted.
“But that time would have lined up more with,” Jon started to argue.
“STILL NO!”
“Fine,” Jon replied with a sigh.
“Geez Ryan, why do you care so much about keeping your sex life a secret. The rest of us are pretty open about ours,” Michael said.
“I wouldn’t show you all my face for years, why the hell would I be comfortable talking about my sex life?!”
“Are you going to get to you and Ryan starting to date, soon?” Jeremy asked.
“I was just about to,” Jon replied.
“Can we please hurry this up?” Geoff asked.
Jon nodded and began to tell the story, again.
Jon and Ryan finished up their rounds of sex for the night. Ryan decided that since he had just received a steady job in a crew, it would be a good chance to ask Jon out on a date. He knew that Jon was not all that interested in romantic relationships, but the romantic feelings were going to eat away at Ryan if he didn’t say something. The most he could hope for was that it didn’t damage the, ‘Friends with Benefits,’ relationship that he and Jon shared, too much
Jon pulled out his usual pack of cigarettes to have his “post sex,” smoke. He offered the pack to Ryan. “No thanks,” Ryan said. Jon blinked in surprise, normally Ryan would smoke with him. Had he decided that no longer enjoyed smoking with him anymore? Jon shrugged, trying to play off the paranoid thought, and went for his lighter to light his cigarette. “Actually, could you not smoke yet? I have something I would like to talk to you about and I don’t want you to be distracted.” Jon gulped. Was Ryan ending what they had together? He thought he had been subtle about his crush on him. Had Ryan figured out that he had a crush on him and was rejecting him?
Ryan took a deep breath. “When we first started this ��Friends with Benefits’ relationship, you had said that you weren’t the type of person who did romantic relationships. I wasn’t sure I actually could do romance either, but emotions that I thought I had suppressed, long ago, resurfaced. Emotions I hadn’t had since I was young. I didn’t know how to respond, but I’m not sure suppressing them, again, would be very easy if I wanted to continue what we have.” Jon looked at Ryan in confusion, what exactly was he talking about? “Jon, you’ve helped me out so much and I believe I’ve fallen for you,” Ryan said as he began to blush.
Jon’s jaw dropped in surprise, he had not been expecting that. “Look, I’m sorry my emotions started flaring up. I’m not used to it. But If I never said anything, they would eat me alive,” Ryan started saying, nervously. “Dammit, I probably ruined everything. We can just pretend that I never said anything and continue having casual sex like we normally do, because this sex if some of the most pleasurable fun I’ve ever had. Fucking dammit, Haywood, you’re just making it wors-” he was cut off by Jon slamming his lips on to his.
Ryan was taken by surprise, he had not expected this kind of reaction. “You’re an idiot, you know that?” Jon asked.
“I…” Ryan stuttered.
“Because I seemed to have fallen for you, as well. I was just too scared to say anything.”
Ryan thought about how to respond for a moment. “So, I have a crush on you and you have a crush on me?” he asked for clarification.
“That seem to be the case,” Jon replied with a smile.
“Oh! So… would you like to go on a date, sometime?”
“I would like that, very much.”
“Excellent,” Ryan said as he began to grin.
“So, is there anything else that you’d like to do tonight?”
“Would it be to forward to ask if we could cuddle?”
Jon snorted. “Ryan, we’ve been fucking for eight months, I think cuddling is pretty tame in comparison.”
“I was just worried about the romantic implications of,” Ryan paused as Jon snuggled in close to him.
“You know, despite having chiseled abs,” he paused to yawn, “you’re pretty easy to… cuddle up to…” Jon finished saying as he started to doze off.
Ryan blinked and gave Jon a fond smile. He leaned closer into Jon and started petting his hair.
“THAT WAS BLOODY ADORABLE!” Gavin shouted. Ryan and Jon looked at each other with fond admiration.
“Would not have expected something as sickeningly sweet as that,” Geoff said.
Ryan looked back up at Geoff. “This changes nothing about me nor the fear I bring to Los Santos.”
“I don’t know man, I might not be able to take you as seriously, now that I know you’re a doting husband,” Michael teased.
“Talk like that is gonna get you animal carcasses in your bed!” Clarice walked into the room and sat down at Jon’s feet. She looked up at Ryan with sad eyes. “Not you, you idiot. I love you, too much,” Ryan said as he gently pet the top of the dog’s head.
Jeremy looked up. “Oh yeah! I just remembered that Jon said he was gonna talk about how you got your pets.”
“Oh, that actually not as interesting as it may seem. We got Vernon right after we got engaged and we got Clarice when we got this house, about a year and a half ago.”
“It’s still pretty cute, seeing your cute little domestic family. Or at least as much of a domestic life as a mercenary and an informant can get,” Jack replied.
“Speaking of domestic life, I think it’s about time that you all leave,” Ryan said.
“But we were just started to fit into your domesticity,” Geoff complained.
“I mean…” Jon started to say when Ryan leaned down and whispered a request into his ear. Jon blushed when he heard Ryan’s request. He looked back up at Ryan and nodded. “We’d like to get back to our anniversary time, so we’d like to say good bye, the sooner the better.”
“But your couch is super comfy,” Michael argued.
“And Vernon likes my lap, it’d be a crime to move him,” Gavin added his argument.
Ryan groaned. “Oh, for the love of… YOU ALL RUDELY INTERRUPTED JON AND I WHEN WE WERE ABOUT TO START FUCKING, EARLIER, AND WE’D LIKE TO GO HAVE KINKY ANNIVERSARY SEX!!!” Ryan yelled.
The crew began blushing furiously. “I think it’s time to go,” Jack quickly said.
“I agree, we should leave immediately,” Jeremy replied, just as quickly. The rest of the crew nodded in agreement and rushed to the front door.
“We can plan for Blood Gulch Crew, tomorrow afternoon, but we’d like you to leave, now,” Ryan called out as the crew was exited the house.
“Got it!” Geoff called back as he slammed the front door.
“So… that was a thing…” Gavin awkwardly said.
“And, let’s pretend it never happened,” Geoff replied.
“Done,” Michael replied.
“Let’s just go back to the penthouse.”
“… Is it too late for movie night when we get back?” Jeremy asked. Geoff and the Lads groaned in response.
Jack looked at his watch. It was 11:36 pm. “I think you might be the only one still up for movie night, Lil’ J,” he said.
Jeremy sighed in defeat. “Fine, let’s just go back to the penthouse and try to forget tonight.”
Everyone thought about what had just occurred and shivered. “I’m going to bed,” Geoff said.
“Me too,” Gavin replied.
Everyone nodded and piled back into the truck that they had arrived in. They now understood that there were many sides to the Vagabond, and those sides were never something for the crew to understand. The violent mercenary was allowed to have his peace, but the crew never wanted to think about what that peace entailed. No matter what, he was still loyal to the Fake AH Crew and he was going to help the make sure Blood Gulch Crew’s visit went smoothly. And that’s all that mattered.
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