#another 4 dollar summer dress for my collection

[rawwithlove]

✨💗✨

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

The Love Cruise - by GleefullyCaptainSwan

Read on AO3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Or on FF

Tagging:   @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda

Chapter 5: A Kiss is Just a Kiss

Emma stood on her balcony with her eyes closed, listening to the sounds of the ocean, the faint cry of the birds flying overhead, the rush of the wind in her ears. She felt truly at peace for the first time in a long time. She wished Henry could have been there to experience this with her. She had done everything with Henry for almost 7 years now, perhaps she didn’t know who she was without him around.

“Why aren’t you in your suit.” Ruby appeared behind her with her towel in her hand. “I thought we were going to the pool to sunbathe.”

“I was actually thinking that I want to go to this art auction I saw on the patter for today.”

Ruby’s face scrunched in disgust. “Eww, an art auction sounds horribly boring and stuffy. I didn’t even think you liked art.”

“I just wanted to check it out. It’s not like we would ever have the chance to go to an art auction back home?”

“Well, you enjoy that. When you get bored, you know where to find me.” She crinkled her nose and turned to leave.

Emma laughed. “I’ll probably see you in thirty minutes.”

Emma strolled through the hallways to try and find the location of the auction. August was right when he said it was easy to get lost on the ship. She was never sure if she was on the right floor or even on the right end of the ship. If you took all the floors end to end, it would be bigger than the town she lived in.

She noticed a group of people that were dressed nicer than most of the passengers on the ship heading into one of the lounges at the end of the hallway she was in. She looked down at her sun dress and started to worry that she might be underdressed to rub elbows with people who attended art auctions.

She peered into the room, easels set up with paintings on them and perched on each of the walls. Tentatively she wandered into the room, trying to make herself blend in with the rest of the passengers who were lazily walking through the art, nodding their heads, and whispering to each other. She leaned over to read a few of the inscriptions, many of the paintings were ocean themed.

“We meet again.”

Emma yelped and grabbed her chest, turning to face the man behind her.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you. Emma, right?”

Emma nodded, “Yes.”

“Where’s your…” He looked around the room. “Boyfriend? If you were mine, I wouldn’t let you out of my sight.”

Emma swallowed, sickened by the look on his face the way he said the word mine. So possessive as if she were an object. “Walsh was it?” she deflected.

“I made enough of an impression that at least you remembered my name.” Emma smiled politely and continued walking down the rows of art, hoping he would take the hint and leave her to her thoughts. “Which piece do you plan to bid on?”

Emma walked toward her favorite painting on the back wall, it was a ship sailing into the sunset. She looked at the price tag on the painting, choking softly when she read the price. There was no way she could afford to bid on any of the paintings, and this one was at least 3 months’ salary.

“Ah good taste, that’s a beautiful painting. I actually met the artist when I was in Paris last summer.”

Emma nodded, trying to act like this was a normal conversation she would be having back home with her friends. “Which one are you interested in?”

“Ah, I’m here for the piece de resistance, the Homer.”

Emma had no idea what he was talking about, but he led her to a painting in a gold frame at the front of the room. She glanced at the price tag and paled. “Oh, um yeah it’s…why would anyone pay this much for a canvas with some paint on it?”

He chuckled beside her, “I collect art, to hang in the halls of my businesses. This one will hang in the western hall of my bank in Switzerland.”

“Wow, that’s…” Boring, elitist, not of any interest to her! “very exciting.”

“Looks like they are about to begin, I should take my seat.”

She watched him walk to the front of the room and she immediately looked for a spot near the back of to observe the process without getting in the middle of the action.

~*~

Killian stood in the shadows watching Emma as she quietly walked through the rows of paintings in the gallery room. As Captain he tried to show up to at least a few events a day that were happening aboard his ship. He did not expect to find her at this one but was pleasantly surprised when her golden hair appeared on the other side of one of the paintings he had been admiring earlier.

He observed her for a few minutes, intending to make his presence known when the man from the bar approached her. He melted into the background of the room, watching as she politely conversed with Walsh. He could tell she wasn’t interested in the man. Killian knew his type, always thinking they were the most important person in the room, looking down on those that didn’t have the means to present themselves in the same manner as they did. He hated men like Walsh. The man didn’t deserve someone the likes of Emma. He supposed it was because he was one of those people that Walsh would look down his nose at.

Killian wasn’t really interested in the art event. Many of the pieces they were auctioning off were going for thousands of dollars, if not more. A waste of hard-earned money if you asked him. The man led Emma toward the main piece at the front of the room and Killian figured that would be the one a man like Walsh was here for. It was worth millions, the perfect item to throw around his elitist status when trying to impress a woman.

His was drawn out of his thoughts as the gavel hit the podium, signaling the start of the auction. Emma wandered to the back of the room as the auction began, sitting alone in the last row. He pushed away from the wall and strolled toward her, quietly taking the seat next to her.

~*~

Emma was very confused by the auction process, wands going up and down in front of her as each piece was brought forward. The artwork she liked the most was brought to the front and she tried to listen to the fast-talking auctioneer to see how much it would sell for. A wand in the front row shot up to open the bidding at $5,000. Another wand appeared and thus it went back and forth until the wand in the front won the piece for $7,500. That was the price she paid for her yellow bug back home, a car that got her to and from work every day.

She felt someone sit next to her and she stiffened. There were so many other seats available, why did they need to interrupt her isolation?

“I didn’t take you as an art connoisseur, Swan? Are you thinking of purchasing something?”

Emma relaxed as she looked up and saw her favorite Captain (did she know any other Captains?) sitting next to her, looking extremely good looking in his uniform. “Sure, I figure if I rent out my house and move back in with my brother and don’t eat for the next few months, I can afford at least one piece.”

He chuckled softly beside her. “Perhaps your rich suitor could purchase it for you.”

She watched as he stared straight ahead, and she smiled to herself. “Jealous, Captain?”

He nodded, “Perhaps.”

Her heart was racing, she was being completely ridiculous and irresponsible right now. “This is boring.” She leaned closer to him and whispered.

“Perhaps a personal tour of my ship would be more enticing for you?”

Does it include your bedroom?  Emma mentally slapped herself for the thought. Snap out of it, Emma.

“A personal tour from the Captain, how could I say no.”

Their eyes met and she swore she saw a glint of something else hidden beneath those electric blue eyes, he stood quickly and slipped out the back door, Emma following closely behind.

She watched him intensely as he spoke reverently about every piece of the ship like it was something personal to him.

“You talk about the ship like it’s a person.”

“Aye, in a way she is. A Captain’s ship is always his mistress and she should be treated with respect.”

Emma tried to memorize the reverence on his face as he spoke, he had never heard anyone talk so eloquently about some boards and planks. She found herself wondering how he treated a woman with flesh and bones, needs, and desires.

Focus Emma.

They continued their tour, walking through the dining room she ate in twice a day toward a room with a table in the back that she had not noticed before.

“You have your own dining table?”

“It’s actually called the Captain’s table, not very original, but yes. It is used to invite VIP guests to join me at dinner a few times during the cruise, its customary and quite formal.”

“I bet you get all the best food.”

“I suppose a Captain does eat well.” He laughed, the timber of his voice playing in her ears as it was slowly becoming her favorite melody. She needed to stop staring at him like she was a 13-year-old girl with her first crush. But she quickly found that the alternative of gazing at him like he was a plate full of food and she hadn’t eaten in months was a more dangerous scenario.

They climbed the stairs which opened into a huge room, wall to floor windows, equipment littered at each station that was either blinking or moving in lines across the screen. It was overwhelming. “Wow, do you have to know how to use all of this equipment?”

“I don’t personally use it all, but I do have the capability and understanding of each station, yes.” He nodded to a portly man at the end of the bridge. “Afternoon, Officer. Emma, this is First Officer Smee, he is currently on watch.”

“Afternoon Ma’am.”

“Are you sailing the ship on your own right now?” Emma exclaimed looking around and not seeing many other people on the bridge.

Killian laughed, “Don’t share our secrets here, Emma, but most of the time the ship sails herself. I’m barely needed to sail her. It’s all in the computers now.”

“He’s being modest.” Smee interrupted. “The Captain does more than sail her, he’s in charge of everyone on board, keeps the ship running smoothly, and ensures we don’t crash her into each port.”

“Thank you, Smee. Happy to see I’ve at least impressed someone.” He turned toward Emma. “Shall I show you the controls?” Smee excused himself to allow them to wander the bridge in private.

“I have no idea how you know what all these buttons and knobs. I think this would give me anxiety being responsible for all of this.”

“Extensive training, love. They don’t let just anyone take on such precious cargo.” Her heart sped up as his eyes bore into hers. God he was gorgeous. She backed up into one of the control panels, her hand coming to rest on the counter.

“Careful love, if you push that button, you’ll take us off course.” She jumped, pulling her hand off the console and grabbing at her chest which elicited a gruff laugh from him, his eyes slipping down to her lips.

“Thank you again for the tour, I really appreciate you showing me around.” She said, her voice barely above a whisper as he continued to step closer to her.

“Aye, your gratitude is much appreciated.” His hands rested on either side of her, the heat from his body radiating against her hips. She stared at his mouth longer than she should before dragging her eyes upward to meet his. They were darker than she remembered them earlier, his pupils larger. They were locked in a moment where neither spoke and Emma wasn’t sure what she wanted to happen next, just that she didn’t want it to stop.

Before she had time to anxiously weigh her options he leaned in and captured her lips with his own. His lips were soft and warm, and she could barely contain the beating of her own heart or the way she could feel it pounding in her ears, tiny explosions of light projecting on the backs of her eyelids as she pressed forward against him. Her hands came up to rest on his chest, the crisp fabric of his uniform sliding against her palms.

Suddenly he pulled away from her, looking between them toward the floor and shaking his head. “Apologies, Miss Swan, that was inappropriate.” He stepped back and wandered toward the window, looking down at the deck below them.

She took a deep breath and approached him, admiring his profile, his jaw clenched, his eyes focused on the unaware passengers who were going about their day. “It must be a lot of pressure being responsible for so many people.”

“Aye.”

“Then we are very lucky that you’re our Captain.” She added, trying to lighten the mood which had suddenly become tense. She tried to quiet her own disappointment from his change of mood, wondering if he regretted what had just happened because of his status and the public display or because it was her.

~*~

Killian cursed himself for kissing Emma. He was the Captain of the ship and he just kissed a passenger on the bloody bridge while in uniform. He had no idea what had come over him to behave so reprehensively.

Besides that, Emma had already told him that she wasn’t here to meet a guy and then he went and kissed the woman. Of course, there was also the matter that he wasn’t interested in a relationship either, he hadn’t been with a woman since Milah had died. But suddenly standing on the bridge with Emma, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her and then he bloody well went and did it.

Idiot.

He glanced to his left to see the woman staring out at the ocean asking him about the pressure he was under in his position. God she was beautiful. He glanced away, hoping it would stop him from the irrational thought of pulling her into his arms and claiming her lips again. “I’m sure you have a vacation to get back to, I don’t want to monopolize all of your time.”

She looked up at him, their eyes meeting for mere moments but enough to cause the hairs on his arm to stand on end. He needed to get his shit together. Instead of agreeing, she brushed her hand against his sleeve, running her fingers along his stripes, something she seemed mesmerized by on their previous occasion. “I’m supposed to meet Ruby at the pool for some sunbathing.”

Images of her in a bikini laying in the sun came to mind and he coughed into his hand. “I would hate to keep you from such an important activity.”

She stepped toward him, a playful smile forming on her lips. “Deck 12, if you’re into watching…to ensure my safety.” Her tongue darted out across her bottom lip.

Was she hitting on him?

He watched her slip away down the stairs, his frozen incompetent brain never catching up with his mouth to allow for a single word in response to her.

~*~

Emma had no idea what had gotten into her. She came on this ship not wanting to hook up but damn it if she didn’t need more of Captain Killian Jones. She didn’t know exactly why he apologized for kissing her, but she was going to make sure he understood that she didn’t regret him doing it. It’s not like she was going to see him again after she got off the ship. Wasn’t she supposed to be here to have a little fun?

She knew he was interested in her or he wouldn’t have kissed her. She may not have been with a man for seven years, but she knew what desire was and what she witnessed in his eyes before he kissed her was pure need.

Emma found Ruby lying by the pool and she sat down in the chair beside her. “Where have you been? I almost gave up waiting for you.”

“Sorry, I got distracted.” She said with a smirk on her face.

Her friend pushed her sunglasses up on her head. “Distracted by who?”

“Why do you assume it’s a who? There’s a lot of things on this ship to get distracted by.”

“Because I know you. You’re flushed and you keep biting your lip. Was it Graham?”

“I’ve barely talked to him.” She shrugged.

“You don’t have to talk to him to get horny, Em.”

She put her sunglasses on and lay back. “I’m bored talking about this.”

“You’re really no fun.” She pouted.

~*~

Killian knew he should stay the hell away from deck 12, he was too worked up to watch her sunning her half naked body. He should go to his room, take a cold shower, and enjoy a nap. Instead, he found himself on deck 13, staring down into the pool below, scanning the passengers for the woman who was driving him mad.

A kiss is just a kiss, right?

When he caught sight of her, he shifted against the balcony, his body reacting immediately to seeing her laid out below him. He hadn’t even looked at another woman in three years, not since Milah. But he wanted this woman, he needed to have her, to devour her, to feel her underneath him. And now that he had tasted her, he craved more.

“See something you like?” Killian jumped, turning toward Robin’s voice.

“Must you sneak up on me?” He stood beside him, staring down below them.

“Nice view.” He smirked.

“I’m just checking in on the passengers to ensure all is well.”

“Ah, just doing your duty then?”

Killian figured the best way to answer him was to ignore the question completely. “How did it go with Regina after I left you at the bar? I’m guessing from your presence here that she didn’t injure you.”

He laughed, “Well after you ran out on us, she wasn’t too pleased to be left alone with me. But she didn’t leave either.”

“Such blazing progress.” He teased. “You’ll be married before we reach the next port, should I brush up on my officiating duties?”

~*~

“There you are.” Emma wrapped her arms around August’s waist and hugged him tightly. “I haven’t seen you all day, where have you been?”

“Oh, um, I’ve been giving the ankle a rest.”

“Visiting the med bay, again? Maybe requiring your own personal nurse?” She questioned, noticing the new bandages wrapped around his foot.

“Just how do you know Captain Jones?” He diverted with a grin.

“Well played, sir.” She turned toward their friends, “Shall we?”

They took their seats at the table, Emma noticing that they had another guest at the table tonight. Graham was sitting on the other side of Ruby, embroiled in deep conversation.

“Tell me, is it true that William once drank an entire bottle of whiskey before the end of his shift?” Belle asked her as she sat down

“I didn’t say the whole bottle.” Will interrupted Belle.

“Most likely true, he enjoys clearing me out of my good whiskey.” August laughed.

“Not all in one day, that would make me a thief.” Will’s affronted reply coming quickly.

“You are a thief.” Ruby teased.

“You stole my heart.” Belle cooed and Will stared at her. His face crumpled, conflict littering his features. She knew he liked the girl, but she was also sure that if he did have feelings toward her, he would confuse them with his pining for Ana.

She simply smiled at him at the table and waited until they returned to their rooms to approach him. Since Ruby was getting a nightcap with Graham, she used the opportunity to invite Will to escort her back to her room.

“Delivered safe and sound.” He announced as she opened her door.

“So, Belle’s nice.” She said casually.

“Oi, this was a setup, wasn’t it? You didn’t need me to walk you to your room at all.”

“Nope, I just wanted to check up on you. You’ve been spending a lot of time with her.”

“She’s nice, I like chatting with her.”

“But…” Emma pulled him into her room.

“But I feel like I’m cheating on Ana.” He whined and Emma sat down on her bed and patted the spot beside her. He grumbled but took the seat, reaching over to take his hand.

“I’m going to say something to you, and I need you to listen to me, ok?” He shook his head. “And you can’t get mad at me because what I’m about to say is said in love.”

“Get it over with.” He exhaled, rolling his eyes.

“Ana was a bitch.” She held up her hand to stop him from interrupting. “She used you for whatever she could take and then she left. She’s gone and she’s not coming back. And I think you know that, and you use it, so you don’t have to put yourself back out there, so you don’t get hurt like that again.”

His shoulders sagged. “I can’t go through that again.” He whispered. “She damn near ruined me.”

“I know.” She wrapped her arms around his waist, remembering the night Ana left. He had called her after midnight, barely about to understand a word on the phone. By the time she arrived at his apartment he was a blubbering mess, crying on her shoulder, both of them drinking through the night until they fell asleep on the sofa. He had gone through phases of anger and depression, but never acceptance. “I was there, remember? There was a lot of whiskey involved.” He chuckled, a tear spilling from his eye. “But honey, you deserve to be happy, you’re a great guy.”

“Are you trying to have sex with me right now, because I’ve never considered it, but you could convince me.”

She smacked him on the back of the head. “Don’t ruin this moment, William.”

“Ow, ya bloody brat.”

“I love you; you’ve been my best friend through everything, and I want you to be happy. But to do that you have to put yourself out there.”

“Is this lecture for me or you?”

“Hey, we’re talking about you here.”

He laughed and then reached over and pulled her against his chest, falling back onto the bed together. “I love you too.” He nuzzled into her neck, “You could still convince me, this is a really good moment.” She pulled back and shoved him away from her. “I mean, this is a great start, maybe I’d enjoy it rough coming from you.”

“Will!”

“Ok, ok, I know, you can’t handle all of this.” He stood up from the bed and turned to leave. “What’s that?” He gestured to their desk in the corner of the room and the object sitting on it. Emma paled. Sitting on the desk was the painting she had been admiring during the auction. The one that sold for $7,500 earlier today. “Who’s Walsh?” he passed her the note attached to the paining.

A painting of great beauty deserves to be owned by an equally beautiful woman.

Yours, Walsh

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Ain’t Sayin’ She’s a Gold Digger: Part 4

Pairings: Sugar Daddy!Negan x Sugar Baby!Reader

Warnings: Sugar baby relationship, swearing

Word Count: 7,963

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the four months between getting the tickets, and heading to Burning Man, Jeff added seventeen countries and almost double that in states to deal with hotels that were going through the summer with bad ratings and numbers to your travel list. And while he worked, you worked with your new, temporary Burning Man assistant and your friends to organize everything you would need. It was chosen by the group, that now included Matt and Stacy, to join Kenzie and Stacy’s usual camp, which was actually a collection of make your own camps, to get the full Burner experience, and despite the fact that you felt like you were going crazy with Kenzie, who was the other natural organizer in the group, the trip came up before you knew it.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” Jeff laughed as he finally drove his RV into Black Rock City behind the 26 foot U Haul filled with your contribution to camp- thousands of dollars worth of water, Gatorade, mini and regular sized liquor bottles, beer, snacks, granola and power bars, and a thrift store find stand up piano, that Matt was driving for you.

“Oh, it’ll be fun.” You giggled as you waved at someone Kenzie had been yelling out the U Haul window at.

“Did you forget, I’m an old man, sweetheart?” He asked with a glance over at you before turning to the right to head down to where your camp, Island Time was located.

“Did you forget that we decided you are seasoned, not old?” Kara asked as she held two of six boxes of decorations in place on the dinning room table.

“We definitely agreed on seasoned, your Majesty.” Dana called out from the back bedroom, where she was responsible for keeping the dozen solar powered coolers of ice in place. Your boyfriend groaned as your smile grew even more.

“Oh, I’m never going to let you live this down.” You giggled as you reached over and pat his thigh.

“Yea, and you’re just making me wanna call an Uber.”

“They have an airport!” Chelsea called out as she sat up from the couch, where she was holding a rope that connected the three massive shade tents, also named Costco Barns, that would make up your themed camp.

“Don’t encourage him.” You scolded as you turned in your seat to look back at her. “He will leave.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt it.” She laughed as she sat up completely, as Jeff parked the RV on the left side of your camp site, and beside the U Haul that would turn into a ‘fishing pond’ for all the snacks it held. “Alright, let’s get unpacked.” You pat Jeff’s thigh once more as the girls in the back got out to start setting up.

“Just let go, sweetheart.” You told him as he set the emergency brake. “You are allowed to take a vacation and the company won’t crumble in your absence.”

“You are the only person I would agree to this for.” He said honestly as he dropped the keys in his cup holder and picked up your hand. “I love you, (Y/N). I need you to know that.”

“I love you, too, Jeff. So, so much.”

“Are you two gunna help, or are you just gunna sit there all day?” Dana asked as she grabbed one of the decorations boxes to carry out. You muttered ‘shut up’ and gave Jeff a chaste kiss before getting out to begin the long day of work. Kate, who was the mastermind behind your camp’s theme, started directing instantly, transforming the square of desert into a tropical wonderland. 

Your group had thought of everything, from a had painted directional sign that pointed fellow Burners to coffee, the Playa, the Deep Playa, City Center, the bathrooms, and of course, the Burning Man center piece and The Temple, to a bunch of tropical themed pool rafts to be used by whomever as seats. You had a blue tarp on the ground and the dyed canvas covers above you that Chelsea had painted to look like waves, and dozens of starfish, jellyfish, and fish toys zip tied anywhere they could go so they didn’t become missiles in a dust storm. 

There were four fishing poles laid against the U Haul, which had giant handmade banners on each side to promote your camp, and they were set up for ‘fishing’ with baskets on the end of the 100 pound test line that Jeff swore would hold up for what you needed it to. And the piece de le resistance of your camp was an inflatable palm tree cooler, that would have ice cold drinks for anyone passing by that needed one, that would sit directly in front of the piano you had brought to play as yet another contribution to the Burning Man community.

“It’s perfect.” Dana said with a proud smile as you on Jeff’s shoulders, and Chelsea on Matt’s strung up the last strings of blue lights in the canopy.

“I would hope so.” Kate said with a nod. “I busted my ass to figure out this design.”

“Hey! Beach girls!” A guy called out as he rode by your camp on his bike. “Nice idea!” You all yelled thanks as Jeff kneeled down so you could climb off.

“Damn, it’s hot.” He sighed as he sat down on one of the couple chairs you had brought. You nodded in agreement and used your already dust covered shirt to wipe off your face.

��I need a shower.”

“Get used to being dirty.” Kenzie said as she just took off her shirt and tossed it on a chair on her way over to grab a the reusable water bottle with her name on it so she could fill it up from the sink on the outside of the RV.

“So are we getting ready to open here or what?” Matt asked as he helped Chelsea dump ice from one of the solar power coolers into the palm tree cooler.

“Yea, someone throw up the fishing sign.” You said as you two pulled off your shirt and headed inside to get dressed. “I’ll go get ready.”

——

“Oh, do you know ‘Piano Man’?” A girl asked as she skipped up to your piano with a champagne slushy from a few camps down. You glanced up at her and nodded as you set down your mermaid patterned water bottle, that was currently filled with rum and coke and adjusted your shell patterned bikini top.

“I wouldn’t be a piano playing mermaid if I didn’t!” You cried as your fingers moved from playing a random melody to the newest request. You started playing over the cheers of a man, who had gotten a mini bottle of Jäger and a bag of Goldfish in his fishing pole bucket, as the girl in front of you cheered and started singing with you, and the group that had collected in your tent at some point since the sun went down. You glanced over at Jeff, who had decided months ago that he was going to be on whatever shift you were on, and gave him a slightly knowing smile, since his only job was to make sure ice was being made in the ice genies you had filling your freezer, and that the ice that was melting was draining into a new one to make more ice as needed. 

He’d spent most of his evening simply watching you, and holding up polite conversations with people that had come in to your tent and had some how slipped past Matt, and Stacy, who were on an entertainment shift with you in the main part of your camp, while Dana played ‘fish’ in the fan filled U Haul, and the other girls rode around to check out some of the rest of the camps. You couldn’t help but fall even more in love with him like you had every day for the past couple months. He was just entirely too good for you, and you didn’t ever want to be away from him.

“Alright, guys, I’m gunna take a break for a few hours.” You said when you saw Kenzie and Kara on their bikes. “Put requests in the fish bowl!”

“We’re switching out?” Matt asked as grabbed a beer from the palm tree.

“Yea, we’re gunna go burn a while.” You said as you adjusted your mermaid scales bottoms on your way over to the U Haul. You yelled your intentions to Dana, who was going to switch places with Kenzie for the second shift of fishing, and grabbed your heavily decorated with bright neon blue LED battery power lights beach cruiser.

“You know, I don’t know if I remember how to ride a bike.” Jeff said softly as he grabbed his matching, mixed color bike from next to yours.

“I’ll make sure you don’t fall or embarrass yourself, my love.” He leaned over and kissed your temple as you grabbed your alcohol filled bottle and a water filled one as well and stuck them in your basket. “Alright, let’s…”

“Hey wait!” The girl that asked you to play Piano Man said as she came running out to the road. She smiled at you and held out a pair of pills. “Thank you. For my song.”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to…”

“Take them.” She giggled as she grabbed your hand and put the two pills in your palm. “Happy Burn.” You nodded at her and looked over at Jeff with a smile.

“Just don’t think.” You said as you put a pill on your tongue, grabbed the back of his head, and kissed him roughly. You could feel him tense up the slightest bit as you pushed the pill between his lips with your tongue, but after a moment, he loosened up, and let you give him the ecstasy. 

“What kinda bad influence are you?” He laughed as you popped your pill in your mouth and followed it with a swig of your drink.

“One that you love.” You cooed as you straddled your bike and put your feet on the pedals. “You coming?”

“I guess I am.” He sighed as he got on his bike and briefly wobbled after you before he gained his confidence and pulled up to your side. “Thank you for not letting me back out.”

“Well look at it this way now.” You said as you grabbed your head lamp from the basket, switched it on, and put it on your head. “I just did ecstasy and am headed out to la Playa at prime time in Burning Man time in a bathing suit.”

“Yea, and if you walk more than five feet away from me at any point in time, I’ll take you to Europe, steal all of your things, and leave you there for a week to fend for yourself.”

“Oh, that sounds dangerous.” You teased as you pulled into the center of Black Rock City. You rode over to where a group of bikes and parked yours in the line with the rest, making sure to lock the wheel to the frame just in case someone drunkenly confused your bike with theirs.

“I don’t dance.” Jeff yelled at you over the music.

“You don’t have to.” You laughed as you laced your arm with his and pointed the farthest camp on the edge. “How about we start there and work our way down the line until the E kicks on?” With a nod, he reached out for your hand and laced his fingers with yours to walk with you. It only took about an hour for the drugs to kick in, and in that time you had been gifted a rubber bracelet for the event because you had pretty hair, a few glow stick bracelets and necklaces which made you realize you forgot yours in the RV, and more than a few shots and drinks. And as you were talking to someone about your time in Juilliard, and disagreeing with them on why your Burning Man nickname should not be ‘Keys’, you realized that Jeff was lost in his roll and the softness of your skin on the back of your neck.

“You OK?” You laughed at him when you had a moment break in the conversation.

“Why is your skin so soft?”

“Because you’re high, baby.” You laughed before saying a quick ‘see you later, come see us’ so you could hunt down your bikes before you got lost in the sensation, too.

“You’re back quick.” Dana said as you pulled up to the campsite and got off your bike.

“Yep.” Kenzie, who was sitting right next to her took one look at you before sitting up and turning to the group.

“OK, someone needs to turn the music up right now so we don’t have to hear them fuck!”

“God, you’re impossible.” You laughed as you headed in to the RV with Jeff’s hand in yours, while the people under your tent cheered for you. The second the door closed behind you, you kissed your boyfriend and walked him back to the king sized bed, closing the door only a couple seconds before your clothes hit the floor.

“Fuck, baby girl.” Jeff sighed when he got you completely undressed, and laid out on the blankets. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know, I’m honestly surprised you lasted the entire week.” You admitted to Jeff, as he held the door to room one of four suites so you and your friends could shower off and have a good night sleep before you flew home. He huffed at you as your friends all tiredly headed into their rooms beside and across the hall from you to shower and wash off the six layers of dirt and catch up the dozens of hours of missed sleep.

“That is only because I wasn’t leaving my gorgeous girlfriend alone in the desert with that many drugs, and that many naked people.” You snorted a laugh through your nose, dropped your purse on the floor just inside the door, and kicked off your shoes in opposite directions on the way to the shower. “Hey, who said you could go first?”

“I will kill you if you think you are getting in before me.” You growled as you pulled off your clothes and got into the shower. “Get in here and help me.” You whined as you stood out of the way of the shower spray and turned the water on.

“So needy.” He huffed as he stripped out of his clothes and stepped in the shower in front of you. With a content sigh, you wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your head on his chest.

“This is all I need in life anymore.” You told him as you watched dirty water wash through and around the soft hairs on his chest. You adjusted your cheek and sighed once more as he grabbed a bar of soap and washed you off in lazy circles.

“Move in with me.” Those four words made your stomach flip as you looked up at the first man that had ever made you feel worth while, and nodded your head without needing to give the proposition any thought otherwise. 

“I’m taking a long nap first.” You replied with a smirk as you laid your head back down on his chest.

“I think that can be arranged, baby girl.”

The next two weeks of your life was a complete whirlwind as you packed up all your belongings, moved across Central Park to Jeff’s Upper East Side home, and helped Chelsea move out of the four bedroom hell hole she lived in with 3 total wack jobs and a horrible landlord since she spent half the time sleeping on your couch as is, and into your old room. But just as you were getting everything settled, you caught some kind of stomach bug that turned out to be something way more serious.

Jeff stood pin straight still, and dead silent, as you both stared at the door of the hospital room you were in- a trip you made because he couldn’t take one more night of you throwing up and writhing on the bathroom floor in pain. You had no idea what he was thinking, but then again, neither did he. You were both just absolutely terrified.

“Are they OK?” You both asked the second the doctor walked into the room.

“Let’s just take a look, OK?” He said with a reassuring smile. You couldn’t bring yourself to believe him as every single drug you took in Black Rock City ran like a bad movie in your head. You reached out for Jeff at the same moment he took a step toward you, as the doc grabbed the ultrasound wand. You actually held your breath as he located the two side by side blobs and nodded his head.

“They look fine.” You exhaled forcefully and burst into fear and joy fill tears, as Jeff sat down in the chair next to you in relief. “Two healthy babies.”

“We did a lot of drugs.” Jeff said as he worried your hand between his as he stared at the monitor. “And a lot of drinking at Burning Man...” 

“And all I can say on that is get in touch with an OBGYN, and disclose everything. I won’t lie to you, there could be some consequences, but I wouldn’t worry too much about that. I’ve seen drug addicts who used everyday of their pregnancy and had perfectly functioning, otherwise healthy babies. I’d just refrain from any and all alcohol consumption and drug use.”

“Oh absolutely.” You said with a nod as you took the two photos he handed you and held the delicately in your hands. “I’ll do everything by the book.”

“Just don’t worry to much about what you did. Focus on what you can do for them now.” You nodded your head and took the paper script from him, which Jeff took from you right after. “Something to help with the nausea. And I’ll have the nurse bring in a list of some OBGYN’s in town for you as well.”

“Thank you, doc.” Jeff said with a nod as he stood up and shook the man’s hand. “We appreciate it.” With another nod, the doctor left the room to go about his day, and you looked up at the father of your children and started to cry.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know!” He shushed you softly and shook his head as he leaned down to wrap you in a hug.

“It’s ok, baby girl.” He whispered as he held you to his shoulder with his hand on the back of your head. “I’m not mad. It’s OK now. We’ll all be OK.” You nodded for a second before your stomach rolled, and you practically shoved him away to grab the vomit bag the nurse had given you to get sick in. “It’s OK.” He repeated as he gently rubbed your back and picked up the ultrasounds from your lap to look at them in complete disbelief. “We’re all gunna be alright.”

——

Jeff didn’t speak to you for three days after you got home, other than to check to see how you were feeling, and to remind you he loved you every night as you walked out of the living room to the master bedroom without him, which was unusual for him, since you usually went to bed together. On the fourth night, you got fed up with laying in his bed, waiting for the man that you had fallen head over heels in love with, the father of your children, and grabbed your pillow and the blanket to head down to the guest bedroom. You made it almost all the way to the door, when it opened toward you. Jeff stopped for a moment and looked at you with eyes full of concern, as you hiked the blankets and your pillow up a little more. 

“No.” He said simply with a shake of his head, as if it were the answer to all of your problems.

“No, you no!” You snapped back as tears welled in your eyes. “I’m going…”

“I always wanted kids.” He sighed as he stepped in front of you and pulled the blanket out of your arms to put it back on the bed. “Hillarie couldn’t conceive. And the few times she did, we miscarried before the end of the first trimester.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Do you know that fear doesn’t go away?” He asked as he walked you around to your side of the bed. “Fear that you’re going to blink and everything is going to be ripped away from you, that doesn’t just go away.” He sighed as he pulled off his shoes and carefully laid you down on the bed so he could get in behind you. As if you were China doll about to break, he scooted up behind you as close as he could, and gently wrapped his arm under yours across your chest. 

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry I’ve pulled away from you. It is absolutely not your fault, or the fact that you are pregnant. I love you so fucking much and I need you with me every fucking day for the rest of my life. And now I need our kids just as much, but I’m fucking terrified. I can’t… I can’t…”

“I’m scared too.” You whispered as you pulled his arm even closer to you. “What if I fucked them up?”

“Then we will figure it out together, baby.” He sighed as he hugged you a little tighter. “I’m sorry I pulled away. I needed a minute and I never should have taken it silently without telling you what I was doing. That was not fair to you. I’ve just never been good at handling hard life shit.” You shook your head in agreement and sniffled as your tears fell on his arms and your pillow. “I’m sorry. Forgive me…” You nodded your head and rolled over to face him, and he held you to his chest as his own tears welled in his eyes.

“Just tell me it’s gunna be OK.” You sobbed as you held on to his shirt so he wouldn’t leave when you voiced your insecurities. “Tell me I didn’t kill our babies at stupid fucking Burning Man or that they aren’t going to end up blind, or with only one limb between them….”

“No, shhh…” He tried with a shake of his head as he realized that you were dealing with different versions of his same fears about the situation. “Our babies are going to be just fine. Unless they’re boys… then we’re both screwed.”

“No, I want boys!” You whined as he leaned back enough to kiss your forehead and wipe away your tears for you.

“Then we are going to have two, healthy boys, that have all ten fingers and all ten toes each, in their right places, on the right babies. And they’re gunna be smart, and handsome, and funny, and…”

“Perfect?” He nodded his head as he moved his hand to your stomach with as big of smile as his nervous self could handle.

“They will be perfect.”

——

“OK, you understand that I’m supposed to be peacefully resting at home, right? Not looking at new houses…”

“You’ve taken over my closet.” Jeff laughed as he held the elevator door open on the fourth floor of the millionth condo you had seen in the past six week. “And it’ll only be a matter of time before you start taking over the one in the guest bedroom. Besides my place is more of a bachelor pad still. It’s not really kid friendly…”

“I know what you’re doing.” You said as you stopped in front of 4B and turned around to look at him as you put your hand on your back and cocked your eyebrow at him. You pointed at the bump that officially stuck out past your boobs and shook your head. “We made it to the second trimester. You don’t need to distract yourself...”

“But we still need a bigger house.” He chuckled as he leaned towards you to knock at the door. “One that you can decorate for our family and not my assistant for my tastes.”

“Whatever.” You huffed as you turned toward Jeff’s real estate agent, Mark. “So? Let’s hear it.”

“Four beds, three and a half baths.” Mark started as he walked backwards into the living room. “Thirty five hundred square feet, and washer and dryer in the unit.”

“Big kitchen?” You asked as you curled your lip at the hideous purple painted book shelf in the study to your left off the living room. “Eww…”

“Big kitchen.” Mark agreed as Jeff followed you around, taking mental notes about the things he would need to change for you to make this the house you wanted to start your family in since he didn’t mind one bit where he lived as long as you were there with him.

“God, who designed this place?” You asked as you turned around and looked at weird, bell shaped light on the far side of the open concept room in what had to be the dining room. “Schools?”

“7, 2, and 8 out of 10.” He said as he looked at his notebook to get the answers to the questions he knew you were going to ask since he had been working with you for a few weeks. “The building was built in 1906 and was last coded in 2019. Been on the market five days and it’s already seen three people.” You shook your head as you peaked into the half bath and the walk in pantry across the way, before heading into the absolutely gorgeous white and grey kitchen, thats only blemish was the colored cushions on the bench in the breakfast nook in the corner, and more of the same strange gold bell lamp shades. 

“This could be a play room.” Jeff said as he looked at the den that backed the kitchen.

“You have another closet back there. And the laundry room with a sink is over there.” You nodded your head and glanced down the hall that lead to the bedrooms, as Jeff came up behind you with a smirk.

“You are poker facing awful hard, baby girl.”

“Other than paint, and changing light fixtures, I love it, but I’m not telling him that.” Your love huffed and nodded his head as you walked over to look at the actual laundry room with a sink, cabinets, and counter space, and the large walk in closet.

“It also has 3-zone central AC, a humidification system, and radiant-heated floors in the bathrooms. And it has a part time doorman, a live-in super, more added storage, and a bike room. The walk score is 98, and transit is 100. Now I think is the cutest part of the house is this room right here. I know Mr. Morgan said you were having twins, and this is perfect already if they are girls, or it can be painted for boys…”

“Oh, wow.” You said as your facade slipped for only a moment when you saw the built in bookshelves on one wall, and the already built in bunk beds next to the long closet on the other. You glanced up at Jeff with a smirk you couldn’t control, and he kissed your forehead in silent confirmation.

“What are they asking?”

“$5,375,000.” Jeff whistled as you looked at the similar room across the hall, that had the same bookshelves on one wall but a small ensuite on the other wall. 

“HOA?”

“It’s a little higher than the rest.” Mark said as he followed you and Jeff through the second to last bedroom, and the bath that it shared with the room with the bunk beds. “$5,018”

“Can you give us a minute?” Jeff asked as you stepped into the last room, the master bedroom.

“You may not have enough room in this closet either, baby.”

“Finally found one you like?” You finally let your smile show, and nodded your head as you turned on the wood floors that ran through all of the bedrooms toward him. He sighed and put his hands on your hips with a small smile that made your heart melt and your stomach flip. “Do you want it?”

“Do you?” He nodded his head and searched your eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath.

“I’m gunna say the same thing I said to Hillarie when I bought our first house. This house will be our house, until the day comes when you don’t want me here anymore, which hopefully is never. But if that day comes, this house will still be yours, and our kids, for the rest their lives… unless you cheat on me, or if you attempt to steal money from me, which yes, it is possible, because I watched my ex-wife try to do it. Not saying you would, but I still need to lay the rules out…”

“Wait… you’re giving me a house?”

“No.” He chuckled as he moved his hands to the small of your back to hug you. “I’m buying us a house, that I’m going to put your name on as well, so that we both know that you and our children will always be taken care of. Because you are the real love of my life… and I need to know that you are safe.” You couldn’t help yourself but to start crying, and his smile simply grew more as he leaned down and kissed your forehead. “Wanna walk through it one more time to make sure you really love it?”

“Yes…”

“Well go on then.” He chuckled before giving you a chaste kiss. “I’m going to talk price and see if I can get them to do a short sale so we can get in here and get that purple book shelf painted…”

“Eww and change those horrid light shades, please!”

“We can find some new light shades, sweetheart.”

“Hey baby!” You called out before he could walk out of the room. “Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

“Anything for you, baby girl.” You blew him a kiss and turned to look at the small white and bronze accented bathroom, that would have to have to be redone in some actual color, before heading back over to the bedroom with the bunk beds.

“This is gunna be your room one day, babies.” You whispered as you rubbed your bump and looked down at your babies as the reality that they would never have to live the life you did growing up caught up with you. You started to cry again as you looked up at a giant giraffe stuffed animal the owners kids owned, and choked on your tears with a laugh. “God, and I promise I will never buy you two something so tacky.”

——

“OK, this is just not fucking fair.” Dana said as she walked into your new, freshly painted, co-decorated, slightly remodeled home for your gender reveal. “This place could fit my house like ten times over!”

“She looked at about a million and one to find this one.” Jeff teased as he took the giant basket she was carrying from her.

“What’s in the basket?” You asked as you pushed the front door closed and took a step toward your boyfriend, only to have him turn away and Dana step in front of you.

“You can open it later.” She laughed as she turned you around and pushed you into your living room. “Now show me around. Be a good hostess before everyone else gets here.”

“Oh, Jesus I can’t even… You’re so needy!”

“Oh, I know! It’s so hard to be a good host.” She laughed back as she followed you to the kitchen, where you had dozens of finger foods and desserts in pink and blue.

“OK, wait. You have to place your vote.” You said as you pointed to the dry erase board you had borrowed from her office. “Two boys, two girls, or one of each. And then you have to wear the beads.”

“Oh, I like it!” She said as she lifted the two strands of blue beads from around your neck. “You want boys?”

“Oh, I need boys.” You said as you held out a few dry erase markers for her to choose. “Dana, we’re girls. Do you remember how much trouble we got in to?”

“Yea, but so do boys.” She pointed out as she drew a mark under the one boy, one girl column and picked up one of each necklace.

“Yes, but boys listen to their mothers.” You reminded her as you want over and grabbed a glass of blue raspberry lemonade and a blue straw from the table of the breakfast nook. “Come on, you have to see the boy’s room.”

“What if it’s one and one?”

“Then I guess I’m just going to have to recreate the room on the other side? I don’t know. I do know that I’ve grown to hate this purplish pinkish bleck shade they had in here…”

“Oh, that’s really cool. But I see about the color, this is awful.”

“So this one shares a bathroom with the one next door. And the one across the hall has an ensuite so it’s the guest room. And our room is next to that…”

“Oh, let me see the remodel you did with that. You changed the bathroom, right?”

“OK, so first, you have to see the final product so I can show you how we changed it because the way they set this up is just asinine.”

“What did they…”

“Who makes a master bathroom five feet wide and thinks that’s OK?” You asked as you stepped into the master suite and pushed open the bathroom door. “So this wall stopped here and we pushed it out into one of the two closets the undecided room had and doubled the size. And then I added the tub because I needed it.”

“I like this color.” She said as she touched the dark teal accent wall behind the mirror.

“I used the same one on the bookshelf in the study because I liked it so much.” You said with a nod. “We also pushed this wall into the walk in because Jeff still has his closet space out here and I didn’t need that much space, so that few feet gave us just the amount of room we needed.” Dana nodded and turned toward you with a smile.

“Are you happy, (Y/N)? Like not because of the physical possessions… does he make you happy?” You smiled and nodded your head as you put your hand on your 20 week along bump.

“Dana, I’m pretty sure I would die without him in my life. I have never loved someone the way I love Jeff.” Her smile grew as she stepped forward and put her hands on either side of your stomach.

“Then I know I made the right choice in calling you back that day.” You nodded your head as Jeff called your name from outside the door, and you looked over at him with a smile.

“My mom just got here. Are you done touring?”

“Where did your beads go, mister?” You asked as you turned toward him and followed him out of your room. 

“Mom votes with me that they are both girls so I gave them to her.” He laughed as he reached out for your hand just long enough to pull you to the side to put his hand on the small of your back.

“And you know I’m going to keep giving you shit until you put them back on, Daddy.” You cooed as you grabbed two pink bead necklaces and held them out to him. “Or you can sleep on the couch, far far away from Mommy and the boys.”

“See, I like her already.”

“Thanks Mom.” Jeff laughed as he put his necklaces on and turned you around to the food covered island. “Sweetheart, this is my mom, Sandy. Mom, the love of my life, mother of daughters…”

“Sons.” You laughed as you stepped forward to the grandmother of your children. “(Y/N). It’s so nice to finally meet you, Sandy.”

“Oh, please. It’s Mom.” She said sweetly as she gestured to your bump. “May I?”

“Absolutely!” You laughed as you reached out for her hands and pulled her a step closer. “You’ve got the soccer player down here, and the long jumper that uses my ribs as a jumping board up here. I say they have to be boys because like two nights ago, they got into what felt like a slap fight against my bladder and I feel like only boys would be that rude to their mother in the middle of the night.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” She laughed as she rubbed your bump through the knee length blue and pink splattered, off the shoulder dress that was tight against your body and had a long, loose ruffle around the top. “If they are boys, I hope for your sake they are nothing like their father because he was a wild child.”

“Oh, really!” You squealed as you refilled your cup and picked up a pink chocolate covered strawberry, while Jeff whined ‘Mom’ on his way to go get the door. “Please, I am begging you to tell me more.”

“Oh, honey I will never run out of stories about my Jeffrey. Like this one time…”

“Mom!” Jeff said as he walked back into the kitchen behind Chelsea and Kate, and couple of Jeff’s friends that you had only meet a few times before. “Don’t start!”

“Oh, I’ll start alright.” She laughed with a shake of her head. “I have to pre-warn her what she’s getting into with Morgan boys.” You laughed with her as Jeff simply shook his head and went to get the door again, and Dana quickly jumped on the train to get more stories about the father of your child with you. Since you had no representation of family, you shared your own embarrassing childhood stories as your friends and his came together to celebrate the lives you created. You played cheesy games, and ate probably way to many sweets, until Jeff’s assistant, Rebecca got there a little late with two large black balloons for Baby A and Baby B.

“OK, let’s see what the final vote is before we pop these suckers.” Jeff called out over the slight hum of voices in the living room and kitchen as he pointed to the two balloons Rebecca was putting in the arch way between the living and dining room. One of the men that worked in Jeff’s New York office, Jason, grabbed the white board for you and carried it out to the dinner table, where the presents that people had brought to make the last couple months of your pregnancy a little more enjoyable were.

“So we have eight for boy boy.” You said as you looked at all the tallies on the board. “Which is the right team, by the way…”

“Thirteen for girl girl, the winning team.” Jeff interrupted with a playful glare.

“You are are just mistaken.” You giggled. “And fourteen for both. So Baby B is the one up by my ribs, and Baby A is right now down by my left hip. So we’ll obviously start with A. Thanks, Bex.” You said as you took the balloon and a sewing needle from her. “You wanna?”

“No, pop away, my love.” Jeff said as he moved the balloon between you so that you could both be in the photos Kenzie had been taking for you all afternoon. You and your party guests counted down from three, and hesitated for only a second before hitting the black latex with the sharp tip. You cheered excitedly as blue confetti rained down on your head and floated down on your hardwood floors.

“Ok, so this one better be a girl.” Jeff mockingly complained as he took the string from you and traded it for the next balloon.

“If it is a girl, she’s a badass with the way she’s beating up on her brother.” You laughed as you handed him the pin. “But it’s gunna be another boy.”

“Wrong.” He laughed before starting the next count down. You actually held your breath, hoping in that moment that it was a girl for his sake, and you shrieked happily when the destroyed latex released its pink confetti over the blue.

“We got one of both.” You said with a smile as Jeff cupped your jaw with his hands.

“A Daddy’s girl and a Mama’s boy.” He said with a nod. “We’re both screwed.”

“Yea we are.” You laughed as you stood up on your tip toes and kissed him softly. “A boy and a girl… sorry baby, we gotta do even more painting.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh, God, is this really necessary?” You whined as you stepped in to a white and black polka dot sleeveless, halter gown to go to a charity event for one of the foundations Jeff was a part of.

“I’m sorry, but it is.” Jeff said with a nod as he pulled your dress up to your hips where you could reach it without bending over around your substantial 32 week along bump. “It’s a once a year dinner that I have to go to, and you said you wanted to go…”

“Yea, I know.” You sighed as you turned around so he could zip you up. “But I was obviously delirious, running on more sleep, and probably half the size I am now.”

“And you still look just as beautiful to me, baby.” He said sweetly to keep you calm like he usually did as he turned you around toward him with a smile. “I love you… and I know Jett and Jace are both thankful you are carrying them…”

“Yea, I know you think that.” You huffed as a small smile pulled at your cheeks. “But I think these two are ungrateful, hate monsters that can’t keep their arms and legs inside the moving vehicle.” Jeff laughed whole heartedly as he knelt down and slipped your wedge sandals on your feet for you.

“You’re almost there, baby girl. 36 weeks was your goal…”

“Just make it go faster.” You sighed as you put your cell phone on silent and handed it to him to carry so you didn’t have to bring a purse. He put it in his inside jacket pocket with your tissues (because everything made you cry now a days), your lip gloss, and a bag of goldfish in case you got hungry before dinner was served.

“Make it through dinner, and we’re one more day closer.” He said in a sing song voice as he turned you toward the door and gave you a gentle push in that direction. You grumbled at him under your breath as you adjusted your belly band under your dress, and headed down stairs. “It’ll be over before you know it, sweetheart.” He placated over your continued grumbling when your car pulled up in front the Ritz in Manhattan. With one last grumble, you lost the pout and forced a smile on your face as he and his driver, Jonathan, helped you out of the car.

“Oh, you look so big!” “When are you due?!” “Twin’s, that sounds like a lot of work!” “Oh, you have to use cloth diapers, they are so much better for the babies.” “A tiny thing like you is going to have a lot of fun pushing those babies out.”

“OK!” Jeff said quickly before you knocked the woman that was reaching out for your bump on her ass. “Let’s go find our seats and get you off your feet.”

“Why do people think it’s acceptable to touch me?”

“Because people are weird.” He laughed as he guided you around a chair that had been left pulled out.

“Jeffrey Dean!” You stopped walking as a woman stood up on the far side of the table in front of you, and Jeff’s hand gripped the back of your dress when she started walking toward you.

“Hillarie.”

“The Hillarie?” You asked with a glance back up at him. He nodded his head and rubbed your back as he cleared his throat.

“What can I do for you, Hillarie?”

“Oh, nothing, I just… oh! You’re… pregnant.” You nodded your head and put your hand on your bump as she smirked between you and her ex. “You finally caved and went with a sperm donor…”

“Good night, Hillarie…” Jeff tried as he gave you a gentle push to the right, but his ex side stepped and blocked your path.

“No, I’m sorry. That’s rude of me.” She giggled with the fakest smile you had ever seen. “You seem like a nice young thing. I bet you found a man to knock you up and went after Jeff for the money, didn’t you?”

“Excuse me?!”

“That’s enough, Hillarie!”

“I mean you are huge and, let’s face it, we both know Jeff’s sperm are way to old to be a viable option…”

“I’m sorry.” You interrupted as your whole body started to shake. “I think I missed the memo saying that your opinion about my children and their father mattered to anyone but yourself.” She cocked her eyebrow at you as you reached back for Jeff’s hand with a very forced smile. “And I’m even more sorry that you decided to cheat on him and pass up on mind blowing sex. Not that it’s any of your business, but I can promise you that he is responsible for my huge stomach. He’s responsible for making me happy, and he’s responsible for making me forget my own name every night.” Hillarie looked shocked at your retort as you stepped back the other way and up to her side with a smile. “Oh, and thank you for talking to him. Now I know I’ll go to bed wore out as we both attempt to forget you are still in Manhattan and so he can welcomingly remind me the seasoned man he is and exactly who fathered my babies.” You took a step back and smiled at her once more as the exhausted vindictiveness washed over you.

“And I’m sorry that you weren’t capable of getting pregnant. But obviously… that’s not Jeff’s fault.”

“OK, let’s go find our seats, baby girl.” Jeff said quickly as he stepped between you and his ex with an uncontrollable satisfied smirk on his face. “Good night, Hillarie.” You heard her growl behind you as you were led away, and you glanced up at Jeff for a moment. “You did fine.” He chuckled before you could even ask.

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t my place… really, they’re starting with salad.”

“Just start with the salad so you don’t rip anyone else’s head off.” He laughed as he pulled your chair out at the first table in the middle row of the room.

“And for that, I’m eating yours too.” You huffed with a smile as you put your napkin on your lap, and turned your attention to the rest of the people at the table, who were thankfully people that you knew from Jeff’s New York office that had attended your gender reveal, or would be attending your baby shower the next day. “Growing babies is tough work. Can’t be done on just greens.”

[newyorkprelawland-blog]

Fast Fashion, Slow Lawsuits: The Rise Of Copycats In The Fashion Industry

By Melanie Nolan, Skidmore College Class of 2023

February 9, 2021

On February 17th, Kim Kardashian attended the Hollywood Beauty Awards in Los Angeles wearing a vintage Theirry Mugler dress with cutouts from their 1998 haute couture Spring/Summer collection.[1] On February 18th, fast-fashion retailer Fashion Nova released the “Winning Beauty Cut Out Gown”  available for purchase on their website for $49.99. It appeared to be a nearly-exact replica of the hyper-specific vintage gown Kardashian wore the day before. Kardashian herself addressed the situation on Twitter. “Only two days ago, I was privileged enough to wear a one-of-a-kind vintage Mugler dress and in less than 24 hours it was knocked off and thrown up on a site — but it’s not for sale. You have to sign up for a waitlist because the dress hasn’t even been made to sell yet.”[2] In the span of mere hours since Kardashian was photographed in the dress, Fashion Nova had recreated it, shot it on a model, found a manufacturer, and uploaded it on their website for the public to purchase. Or did they?

Fashion watchdog Instagram account @DietPrada fired back at Kardashian. They posted a screengrab of the knockoff Muegler dress on a FashionNova model, taken days before Kardashian had even worn the piece. “Fashion Nova Mugler knockoff shot 4 days before Kim wore it on 02/18/19. Kim, you’ll never fess up to your sneaky lil collaborations, but we got all the receipts.”[3] This finding by @DietPrada raises a few questions. Not only does it call into question Kardashian’s previous statement, but it also raises questions about if Kardashian was in on this grift the whole time. If the eagle eyes of @DietPrada are correct, it means that Kardashian (or a stylist) has been tipping off FashionNova about her outfits before she wears them. If they are incorrect, it means that somehow FashionNova guessed that Kardashian was going to wear a hyper-specific vintage piece, shot it, styled it and manufactured it, all before Kardashian even wore it. Then, when Kim unveiled it on Instagram they uploaded it to their website a day later. Fans speculated in the comments about what seemed more likely. Again, Kardashian defended herself on Twitter, swearing that she had nothing to do with it, and condemned retailers like Fashion Nova for ripping off small designer’s works.[4]

To be fair, Kardashian has battled with fashion retailers about copyright before. She filed a $10 million dollar lawsuit against Missguided for using her “name and image without permission in order to generate interest in their brand and website.”[5] However, she made no move to file such action against Fashion Nova. Was that an admission of guilt? Or, was it simply because of the ties Fashion Nova already has to her sisters?[6]

The jury is still out on Kardashian, but she is hardly the only one to be caught up in copyright issues with garments. There is a complicated history with fashion’s relationship with the law, and items of clothing often wrestle with complicated questions about what can be recreated, what can’t and how to take action about those who do.

Oddly enough, the debate and the laws about fashion start mainly with a lawsuit against two cell phones companies. The case was complex, but it boils down to this: in 2011, Apple sued Samsung for “slavishly” copying its products, namely cell phones and tablets. Apple argued that due to their patents, they were entitled to Samsung’s profits, and Samsung needed to promptly stop production of their infringing products.[7] Normally, a case like this would not be such a big deal for law, specifically law about fashion. But the patent that Apple claimed Samsung was infringing on was a design patent. A design patent is very different from a utility patent. A utility patent which protects what something does. A design patent protects the way something looks.[8] By filing this lawsuit, Apple claimed that their product’s design was getting ripped off, and thus they were wronged. Apple won.

Design patents protect the functionality of an object, but they also protect decorative aspects of it as well. As Fashionista described it, “If you have a shoe that has an interesting molded or sculptural heel that doesn't have any particular special function, but is part of this otherwise functional item, the shoe might have design patent possibility.”[9] Nike is by far the king of design patents. They filed for 867 patents in 2018, which is oddly only the second-most in the company's history.[10] But Nike, as a sneaker company is the perfect fit for something like a design patent. Their products clearly serve a function, yet there are clear decorative aspects as well that are unique to the brand. Handbags are another item that bears well to design patents, and the decorative hardware can also serve as the “ornamental piece” of a functional object. However, despite these useful instances of design patents working in their favor, many brands don’t use them. Instead, they focus their efforts on protecting their trademarks.

Patents are expensive. Trademarks are cheaper. To patent the design of a shirt can be up to $6,000-$8,000 just to start. To pay to trademark a little logo in the corner is much cheaper, and it can be incorporated into overall branding as well. This is all fine and good for big brands, like the aforementioned Nike who employs (and can afford) an army of lawyers to protect their designs. But some can’t, and in the age of Instagram this has become a massive, gaping problem.

For Madeline Pendleton, it’s just another day at the office. Only, her office is her garage, and her work is her small brand, Tunnel Vision.[11] Madeline and her best friend, who she dubs an “unofficial partner” run the brand, quite literally out of her home in Eagle Rock. They do small orders and small batches, and almost all of the designs on the website are Pendleton’s own original art. “I design ethically, and thus have a significantly lower profit margin than sellers of the sweatshop-produced copy, so it stings quite a bit knowing people make more money than I do off of my own artwork by just selling copies of it”[12] Pendleton isn’t the only one struggling with this. Many small businesses are routinely burned by the fast fashion market, and struggle to make ends meet while also battling with overseas manufacturers who often rip items almost as soon as they are created. But until then, she and other countless small designers will simply have to keep working, and try to keep up.

______________________________________________________________

[1] https://www.elle.com/fashion/celebrity-style/a26390312/kim-kardashian-vintage-thierry-mugler/

[2] https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/1097903684527091712

[3] https://www.instagram.com/p/BuDB6RxlPab/

[4] https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/1097903481518616576

[5]https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr-esq/kim-kardashian-sues-style-copycat-website-using-her-image-permission-1188517

[6] https://www.fashionnova.com/collections/kylie

[7] https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/24/business/apple-samsung-patent-trial.html

[8] https://www.uspto.gov/web/offices/pac/mpep/s1502.html

[9] https://fashionista.com/2016/12/fashion-law-patent-copyright-trademark

[10] https://www.bizjournals.com/portland/news/2019/01/07/nike-continues-torrid-patent-pace.html

[11]http://www.uscannenbergmedia.com/2016/02/25/how-one-sustainable-fashion-brand-resuses-vintage-clothing/

[12]http://www.uscannenbergmedia.com/2016/02/25/how-one-sustainable-fashion-brand-resuses-vintage-clothing/

Photo Credit: VOGUE Taiwan

[yoongihoseok97]

Cookies & Kisses💋 Pt.2

.BTS Jungkook.

Summary- Jeon Jungkook is a broke college student who’s just trying to get his degree and find his place in the world but things aren’t always that easy. Especially when you’re only 21 years old and have a 4 year old daughter.

Warnings- Mentions of underage sex, brief mentions of past drug & alchol abuse. Mentions of past depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts. Quite a bit of swearing but nothing too harsh, don’t read if you’re sensitive to anything mentioned above.

Word Count- 2.9k

-

The sun was blazing down onto Seoul and the new summer heat brought about various types of people who were keen to soak up the rays before returning home. Happiness was the expression covering most people’s faces as they laughed with their friends, families played cheerfully on the different rides the park provided. Some people who clearly didn’t dress appropriately for the weather made you chuckle as they wiped the sweat off their forehead, carrying around the layers they were forced to remove by the overwhelming blaze. It was an overall pleasant day and the already red faced, excited children made you content from their innocence. How you’d wish to go back to those days where the only thing that mattered was the type of flavour ice cream you would get from the corner store.

Yet here you were. 21 years old and struggling to find a job to fit around your busy university schedule to help pay the never ending list of bills. You found peace in watching strangers live their lives, it was a weird hobby that you gained over the years but you liked to imagine what everyone else’s life was like. It sometimes got you in trouble with some of the wrong people for staring for to long but you couldn’t help being intrigued in your surroundings. You just found it fascinating how everyone had their own thoughts, family and relationships and how no two people on this planet were the same as one another yet here you all were.

The once cold metallic bench you were seated on was now covered in an uncomfortable amount of sweat which signaled that it was your time to leave if you wanted to get to your daily rehearsal on time; however a tall, tattooed man came running into the already overcrowded park with whom you assumed was his sister due to his seemingly young age caught your eye. He was probably about 20 with a muscular frame covered in a short sleeved shirt and a pair of blue denim shorts, showing off his heavily tattooed, yet toned legs that go perfectly with the black and white artwork on his arms. You smiled at the sight in front of you, he was clearly struggling to put suncream onto the young girls face as she kept moving around and eventually slid through his legs and skipped off giggling to herself as she climbed onto the slide, surprising you when the words “come play daddy” left her small mouth. Never would you have thought he was her father and you somewhat felt guilty for judging them so quickly.

Seeing the two play together so happily made you weirdly jealous of the women who got to call them her family. The young father was one of the best looking men you had even seen and his daughter was beautiful with long curly hair that complimented her small frame perfectly. You started to imagine the young girls mother, shiny brown hair, tall with big hazel eyes that never lose their shine no matter the occasion. Looking around you began searching for someone matching the image in your head however no one seemed to be taking notice of the pair. In fact a lot of people were keeping away from the young father, some were other parents shielding their children’s view of the two and others were staring down the fathers overly tattoed body. The sight made you frown, who were they to criticise someone else for what they chose to do with their body? You thought his tattoos were beautiful, they were like pieces of art placed perfectly on his skin and you couldn’t see any problem with them at all. They made him unique.

A loud buzz broke you from you gaze. Shaking your head slightly you looked down to your phone and gasped “fuck!” You exclaimed and collected your things in a hurry. You were extremely late for your rehearsal and you knew if you didn’t leave now, your professor would literally kill you. Taking one last glance at the pair in front of you, you quickly jogged towards the exit of the park, hitting yourself after getting distracted.

What you didn’t see was the young dad looking over at you when he heard you curse. Finding your panicked expression and rushed exit amusing.

-

“Youngjae, sooyoung I’ve already told you, it is a duet not a solo! You need to harmonise together!” Professor Richards shouted, waving around her sheet music from her spot on the piano. The production of the play had just started yet she was already stressed with the numerous challenges the students always seemed to provide. Deeming yourself as successful that she hadn’t noticed you were late, you slipped into the chair next to your puzzled friend.

“Why are you so late? You should have been here 20 minutes ago! You’re so lucky she didn’t notice you were gone cause she literally would have literally killed you” Luna exclaimed punching you fairly hard in the arm. You smiled sheepishly “I’m sorry I was at the park and got distracted.” She looked like she was about to ask another question but a booming voice interrupted her before she could. “Miss Y/L/N can I speak to you for a minute please” You turned your head to see your professor looking straight at you with a pleading look in her electric blue eyes. You nodded slowly before looking back at Luna who smirked and winked at you as you got up, ‘fuck’ you mouthed as you walked towards Mrs Richards.

She didn’t wait for you to catch up with her, instead walking speedily into a room just outside of the theatre that was oddly quiet despite the amount of people inside the block of classrooms. Mrs Richards got a flyer out of her bulky folder and handed it to you. ‘Grease the musical! Choreographer needed!’ Was labeled on the front in big bold letters and you looked at it confusedly, thinking your friend Carter was meant to be doing the choreography. “Carter rang me this morning, he’s broken his leg and can’t do the show.” She looked at you after sighing and sitting down on the closest chair next to her. “Since you’re my female lead I would love for you to help me in the audition process for the new choreographer.”

You sighed quietly. This is just another job to pile onto your already busy enough schedule yet you knew you couldn’t say no, especially to Mrs Richards. You and her had always been quite close due to the fact she knew you were insanely talented and she loved working with you and helping you improve. “Yeah okay, it’s not gonna take long though is it? Im really busy at the minute” you say biting your lip, scanning through the information on the sheet again. She shook her head, “No It’ll take about 3 hours, 4 at most but I really need you there Y/N.” You just smiled and thanked her, telling her you’ll see her there before bowing your head slightly in goodbye and walked out of the room to join the rest your class.

-

The deafening sound of music filled the dance studio as Jungkook tirelessly worked on his new routine. The strong stench of mixed Red Bull and sweat overpowered the room and if anyone were to enter then he was sure that they’d be paralysed by the smell. He’d been practicing since 6:30am, almost 7 hours now and Jungkook was unsure if the normally baggy material of his grey Nike shorts could stick to his skin even more then they already are. Frustrated, he turned the music off and ungraciously fell to the floor. He needed this extra credit and was willing to work long hours for it, even if it meant missing out slightly on having a social life.

His loud breathing symbolised that it was time to leave and Jungkook was beyond happy to be going home after his tense day a practice. He slowly got up and packed his things away before gulping down the last quarter of his energy drink, that he hated himself for having as they did nothing but make his teeth ache from the bucket full of sugar, and made his way back to the apartment. It was far to hot in Seoul for Jungkooks taste and he made a mental note of buying suncream for Eunha on his way to the nursery. He walked his usual root home that led him through the park where a few people were sunbathing and he smiled at the thought of picking Eunha up early and treating her to an ice cream and a play on the games at the playground.

He arrived back at home 10 minutes later, shouting a quick ‘hello’ to Hoseok who was sitting in the living room, in front of a fan, shirtless and groaning about the heat before running up the stairs and jumping in the shower. The cool water made him instantly relax his tense body and he really didn’t want to leave but he needed to be quick if he wanted to pick Eunha up and go to the park before the rush of the mass of families who had the same idea that he did, beat him in getting there first and taking all the best rides.

Slipping on a simple white t-shirt, a pair of three quarter, blue denim shorts and black & white vans, he sat down next to Hoseok and sighed as he leant back into the comfy, cotton sofa. “Fuck I literally want to stay here for the rest of my life” he said moaning quietly. Hoseok chuckled and shook his head “no way, I’d get butt cramp.” The two laughed. “What are you gonna do today?” The older male questioned as he joined Jungkook in leaning back on the sofa. “I’m about to pick up Eunha and I’m taking her to that huge park down the street.” Hoseok nodded and reached into his pocket to pull out a few dollar bills and placed them in Jungkooks hand.

“Here, treat Eun to an ice cream or something.” The younger frowned as he glanced down at the money. “Hoseok you don’t have to I’m doing alright with money at the minute” he tried to hand the money back but he refused. “I know you are but that doesn’t mean I can’t help out a bit and treat my favorite niece to some ice cream every once in a while.” Jungkook smiled. “She’s your only niece, but thank you I really appreciate it.” He waved his hand to dismiss the comment and Jungkook patted his back, saying bye before grabbing his keys & cigarettes making his way out of the door.

The young dad has always hated taking money from the people around him. He thought if he took it, it would make him look weak and make people question if he could really raise a child as he wasn’t financially stable. The whole thing use to make him panic, so much that he himself started to question if he was really capable of raising a child. Looking back at himself a few years ago and comparing him then to where he is now, he can confidently say that he no longer has those thoughts. He had done a great job of raising his little girl for the past four years and he was awfully proud of her, saying that she’s the kindest, most beautiful girl in the world.

After walking another 10 minutes Jungkook made it to he nursery, he walked up the steps to the front entrance and pushed the buzzer on the side of the door and patiently waited for the receptionist to let him inside. The receptionist smiled once she saw who it was and flicked her straight blonde hair over her shoulder; she had always had a thing for the young dad and Jungkook was flattered,but wasn’t interested.

“Mr Jeon it’s nice to see you again! How are you?” She asked leaning forward slightly so her cleavage was on show, the gesture made Jungkook raise his eyebrow at her openness but he continued to answer her question.

“I’m great thanks Michelle, just here to pick up Eunha.” He smiled and closed one eye into a wink in a way to almost tease the blonde. Michelle blushed and looked away from the eye contact and pressed the button which allowed the doors to the school be opened. “Do you need me to show you to her classroom?” Her voice hopeful as she began to rise from her chair. The father shook his hand is dismiss “No I’m okay thanks, I’ll see you soon.” He said as he paced his way into the main school area, waving goodbye yet not waiting for her to respond.

Jungkook took his time as he walked through the bright hallways, stopping every so often to look at the children’s artwork draped along the corridors; his heart clenched with pride as he saw a piece of work with the name ‘Eunha Jeon’ written on the bottom of a drawing of a herself and Jungkook. She had made sure to draw a few of her fathers tattoos on his arms and even wrote next to the side of him “My awesome daddy!” Which continued to make Jungkook smile. He pulled out his phone and quickly checked to see if anyone was around before he snapped a shot of the family portrait and saving it as his home screen. The student carried on down the corridor and soon arrived at Eunhas class. The door was open due to the hot weather and the children were busy playing with their toys. His daughter was playing by herself in the corner of the room with a box of barbie dolls, she had recently taken an interest in playing with them after Jin had brought her one for last years Christmas and Jungkook would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it when she had forced him to play with her.

The student knocked on the door to gain the teachers attention before he walked in, she was sat at her desk looking through the plans for her lessons when Jungkook made his way over to her. “Miss Matthews? Hi” He smiled.

“Oh Mr Jeon, you here to pick Eunha up already?” She took of her glasses, stood from her seat and walked towards the father. Before he could respond a loud bang followed by a small cry gained his attention. His daughter was on the floor after obviously being pushed over and Jungkooks heart dropped. A young boy was standing above her with a smirk wedged on his face after he realised she was crying. “Eunha!” The panicked father shouted as he raced towards his little girl, not caring about the teacher calling after his name.

Jungkook immediately scooped her up into his arms and she buried her small face into the crook of his neck, tears still streaming down her face. He turned to the young boy who looked rather frightened now that Jungkook was sitting in front of him. “What on earth do you think you’re doing to my daughter?” He said trying to contain his anger as afterall, he was speaking to a child and as much as he’d like to shout and scream at him, he knew that would be an asshole move.

“I- I’m sorry sir, I didn’t mean to hurt her!” The boy spoke, looking up at his teacher for help. She shook her head and kneeled down to his height. “We saw what you did Jacob, and it wasn’t very nice! You could’ve seriously hurt Eunha.” The boy frowned at her words and gazed his eyes back to his classmate who had stopped crying now but was still sniffing into her fathers neck. “I’m sorry Eunha it won’t happen again.” Jungkook rolled his eyes at the boys statement, his apology was clearly forced and he couldn’t wait to talk to the boys parents about the situation.

“You okay Eun?” Jungkook asked as she pulled her face from his neck. Her eyes were red and puffy from the crying and his heart felt like it was being smashed to pieces. She didn’t deserve this. The young girl nodded and sniffed again. This wasn’t the afternoon Jungkook had planned. “I’m sorry about what happened Eunha, I’ll see you tomorrow okay sweetie” Miss Matthews smiled and stroked the hair out of Eunhas eyes. The dad got up from his kneeling position and began to walk out of the room, calling out a bye and a small ‘thank you’ to the teacher.

He pulled Eunha closer to his chest and kissed her forehead, “Well baby, my plan was to go to the park so we can have some fun but we don’t have to go if you’re not feeling up to it.” Jungkook suggested whilst they were walking through the school halls and her head perked up at the plan of the park. “I’m okay daddy let’s go to the park!” She wriggled happily in his arms and Jungkook laughed at her enthusiasm. He muttered a quiet ‘of course baby’ in her ear and she giggled at the warm breath on her skin and Jungkook felt all the stress leave his body when he heard the cute sounds fall out of her mouth. She was the best thing to ever happen to him and he was 100% sure of that.

[abovethemists]

This Secret is Safe - Epilogue

BANNER COURTESY OF MY GORGEOUS FRIEND @timelordthirteen!

Summary: Belle finds herself knocked up at the most inconvenient of times. If only she could stop making a mess of her life and the lives of those around her, she might find the ingredients for a happy ending. Or, Raven saw Waitress and this happened.

A/N: The year of finishing things continues! This fic was my baby for the past year and I’m so pleased with how it turned out because honestly, I wasn’t sure for a while there. Thank you so much for reading and liking and commenting and I hope you enjoy this final bit of fluff. 

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12]

Read it on AO3

The grand re-opening of the newly rebranded Colette’s Pie Shop was the talk of the town for more reasons than one.

First off, Granny’s Diner had been closed for months leaving the only places to eat out in town either the pricey Tony’s or the fish and chips stand by the wharf. The second reason was the pie. Belle hadn’t realized just how deep Storybrooke’s sweet tooth ran until Granny’s closed two months ago when renovations could no longer be done with the business operating as usual. Over that time, in addition to overseeing things at Colette’s, she’d been baking pies at home and delivering them all across town. Birthdays, holidays, or just a random Tuesday, Storybrooke wanted their pie, and Belle wouldn’t sniff at the extra income now that she technically didn’t have a job.

It had been a lot of work over the past year. Belle had to draw up a business plan to present to the bank to secure a sizable loan for the remodel and rebranding. Max had offered to loan her the money, of course, but she’d preferred to do things on her own. For the first time ever she was truly independent and she was loath to part from that independence no matter how well intentioned the help offered.

She had accepted Max’s help in another area, however. He’d recommended an excellent divorce attorney who’d managed to secure a restraining order against Gary and collected on the ten thousand dollars Gary owed him. Without a job, a a wife, or a penny to his name, Gary had been forced to move in with his parents who lived a blissfully long three hours away. She’d seen neither hide nor hair of him since the divorce finalized six months ago and Belle had high hopes of never seeing him again.

The soft opening for the pie shop was scheduled for a Friday night in July, smack in the middle of summer vacation, and a line was already queuing up a half hour before they were due to open.

Belle darted around doing last minute cleanup, Gideon balanced on one hip as he clapped his hands and giggled.

“Belle,” Ruby said, grabbing her by the shoulder. “Everything is perfect. Stop worrying.”

Ruby held her hands out for Gideon who went to her willingly and Belle heaved a sigh, wiping a hand across her brow.

“I just can’t help but feel like there’s something left to do,” she said, casting an eye around the diner. The counter had been completely replaced, all the décor done up in shades of pink and mint green. The black and white tiled floor was spotless. The brand new tables and vinyl covered retro chairs scrubbed until they gleamed. Each table had a shiny new napkin dispenser and kitschy salt and pepper shakers shaped like coffee cups. The refrigerated glass display case was filled to bursting with all of Belle’s most popular pies.

Glancing back at Ruby, Belle shrugged. “I guess we did think of everything.”

“Told you,” she said with a wink.

Belle bit her lip, the nagging feeling continuing despite Ruby's words. She'd been going non stop for so long now that she couldn't quite believe this was really it, the calm before the storm of opening.  

“Do you think this new uniform clashes with my hair?” Ariel asked, coming through from the kitchen and pulling at the full, pink skirt of her dress before smoothing down the matching gingham apron.

“You could wear the green one,” Belle pointed out. “No one said you have to wear pink.”

Ariel cocked her head at Ruby’s uniform, eyes narrowed, before giving a decisive nod.

“Trade with me,” she said, starting to pull at the zipper at her back.

Ruby rolled her eyes, setting Gideon in his high chair before starting to pull off her own uniform.

“Can you guys do that in the bathroom?” Belle asked. “The doors are going to open any minute and I don’t want my waitstaff naked in the dining room.”

“Might increase business,” Ruby quipped as she grabbed Ariel’s hand and headed to the back of the diner.

Gideon let out a loud squeal and Belle handed him his teething giraffe from inside her own apron pocket. He was cutting his top two teeth which had led to a few sleepless nights lately, on top of her already stressful days. After the opening she could use a nice, long vacation. Belle snorted a laugh. That wasn’t likely.

The bell on the door jingled merrily as someone entered the diner and Belle spun to tell them they weren’t open yet before breathing a sigh of relief.

“It’s just me,” Max said, anticipating her. “I thought I’d come by and take the little one off your hands before things get too crazy.”

“Dada!” Gideon babbled happily, reaching his pudgy arms out toward his father. Max ruffled his hair, but instead of picking up Gideon he turned back toward Belle.

“You look anxious,” he said.

Belle realized how tense she was holding her shoulders, her hands fisting the fabric of her yellow uniform skirt. It took effort to unclench her jaw and try to relax.

“Well wouldn’t you be?” she snapped, then sighed. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been a bear to live with these past few weeks.”

“Belle,” he said, taking her by the hand. “Breathe.”

She did as he instructed, taking a deep breath through her nose and exhaling through her mouth.

“You did it,” he said, tugging on her hand so she stepped closer to him. “You succeeded.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Not quite yet,” she said. “I could still fall flat on my face.”

“You won’t,” he said with an assuredness she wished she felt.

“This shop is my baby,” she said. “Born the same day as my actual baby. And it’s not just my dream, it’s my mother’s dream too. I can’t fail.”

Max glanced out the wide front windows where the line down the street was clearly visible.

“I’d say that failure is nigh on impossible. Look at that crowd! Neal said the entirety of Storybrooke High would be here tonight.”

“Well it’ll only be a success if they keep coming back.”

“And they will,” he said with a nod, pulling her close so he could kiss her gently on the lips. "You're brilliant."

Gideon chose that moment to throw his toy giraffe on the floor and Belle stooped down to retrieve it, handing it back to him and planting a kiss on his round cheek. When she turned back to Max he was sitting in one of the mint green cushioned chairs, his cane balanced across his knees and a very conspicuous looking box held in his hand.

“Oh,” she gasped, her heart lodging in her throat until intelligible speech seemed all but impossible. “Oh, please no!”

Belle gasped again, slapping a hand across her mouth.

“God, I don’t mean no no. Obviously, yes, I’ll marry you. But please, please don’t do this right now. I’m so stressed out I can’t even function and I don’t want to not remember this moment because it was smack in the middle of another big moment just…”

“Belle,” Max cut her off with a bemused smile. “Open the box.”

“What?” she asked.

He held the box aloft in one hand and Belle took it numbly. But when she popped it open there was no diamond solitaire like she’d expected.

“A key,” she said dumbly, pulling it from the satin cushioning of the box. “Are we moving?” She loved the old pink Victorian and in any case, she didn't feel up for packing up boxes any time soon.

Max snorted, standing up with the help of his cane.

“No,” he said. “Milah agreed to give me the house and she can’t go back on that now. This is a key to the library.”

Belle raised an eyebrow. “My mum’s library?”

Max nodded, reaching to take the key from her hands.

“The mayor has agreed to reopen once a suitable librarian is found. And there’s been a memorial fund set up in your mother’s name to pay for repairs.”

Belle just blinked. This was all so unexpected. She’d been focused on achieving one of her mother’s dreams that she hadn’t even thought of Colette’s other legacy, the boarded up building under the clock tower across the street.

“Mama would like that,” she said with a nod.

“Well it just makes sense,” Max said. “The library is directly across from the diner and nothing goes better with a new book than a slice of pie and a cup of coffee. It’s a symbiotic relationship. The library will benefit from the diner and vice versa.”

Belle nodded, a small smile playing across her lips at the idea of her mother’s library, the scene of her few happy childhood memories, restored to its former glory. Until she realized what she’d just done.

“You weren’t proposing,” she said flatly.

Max gave her a wry smile.

“I’m proposing we go over to the library later tonight and take a look at what we have to work with.”

Belle felt like she’d just swallowed a brick. She’d rejected, then accepted, an unintentional marriage proposal from the love of her life. It was a ridiculous thought in hindsight. They were both so recently divorced. She wouldn’t be surprised if Milah had soured Max on the entire experience. He may never want to be married again, no matter that they had a child together and had lived together for the past few months and were as committed as they could possibly be without a wedding.

“Oh, God,” Belle covered her face with her hands. “Pretend I didn’t say any of that. Of course it’s too soon and we’re both so busy and it wouldn’t make a lick of sense, not to mention Neal is still getting used to all of this. I’m such an idiot.”

“Hey, none of that,” Max said, pulling her hands away from her face and meeting her eyes. “You said yes.”

Belle rolled her eyes. “But you weren’t proposing so it doesn’t matter.”

Max shrugged. “It’s useful information to have in any case.”

Belle narrowed her eyes at him. “What does that mean?”

“It’s just nice to know you’d marry me if I ever thought to ask,” he said with a smirk “I’m not, by the way. Asking.”

Belle shoved Max by the shoulder.

“If you ever ask me for real, I promise to say no on principle,” she joked.

Max snorted a laugh, going to retrieve Gideon from the highchair.

“Mummy is a dirty liar,” he whispered against the little boy's ear. Gideon giggled, grabbing at Max’s tie as he shifted him to his hip.

“Get out of here before I throw a pie at you!” Belle called after them as Max headed for the door with Gideon.

“Don’t waste the pie,” he called back. “By the looks of that crowd, you’ll need it!”

Belle smiled, feeling much lighter than she had a few minutes ago. Ruby and Ariel returned in their swapped out uniforms and the three friends linked hands.

“Ready for this?” Ruby asked with a glance at the clock.

Belle nodded. “Colette’s is open for business.”

Later that night, after the rousing success of Colette’s Pie Shop’s soft open, Mr. Gold led Belle across the street to her mother’s library only to find it full to bursting with flowers, soft candlelight and music. And there in the middle of the New Fiction section, he got down on one knee and proposed.

And Belle went back on her promise and said yes for a second time.

[gotatext]

          whats up ! its ur local feral goblin nora ( 23, she/her, gmt ) bringing u yet another baby i dug out of the trash and vomited onto the dashboard. a fake psychic slash rodeo bull sensation studying at hendrix but born in marfa, texas. luvs wearing gingham print dresses and cowboy boots n always in loads of rings and necklaces w flowers in her hair. very into art and pornography, and particularly the combination of the two. wants to do a PHD on gender studies and female autonomy in porn (yeehaw!). this is a pinterest board. without further ado, here’s frida !

hendrix template.

( cis-female ) haven’t seen FRIDA CALHOUN around in a while. the ELIZA SCANLEN lookalike has been known to be (+) SCHOLASTIC & (+) PLUCKY, but SHE can also be (-) DOGMATIC & (-) SINGLE-MINDED. The 18 year old is a FRESHMAN majoring in GENDER STUDIES & VISUAL ART. I believe they’re living in AUDAX, but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( nora. 22. cowboy time. she/her. ) 

 aesthetics.

a red gingham print dress from your childhood that tugs at the seams and hitches at your thighs. brown cowboy boots still thick with the dirt of a marfa desert. stripper heels decorated with hello kitty stickers. a crystal ball you bought for a dollar from a one-eyed woman at a thrift store. dead flowers clinging to the braids of your hair. a rucksack permanently packed for the move. a streak of red across your lips. roller blades, cut knees, not eating your greens. smiling with a mouthful of blood. the female orgasm cut and pasted from pornhub and superimposed onto renaissance art. sweet wrappers scattered over the vinyl seats of an older man’s car. also this pic here is a big frida mood

connection to eva & did they choose her name during the watershed?

study abroad mentor. when frida moved to the netherlands to study, she was assigned a mentor to help her settle into campus life, since she was not of dutch heritage. eva was her mentor for her first few weeks of study, though they weren’t really friends. occasionally they hung out if they saw each other out at night, but they weren’t like... super close.

ok,.... so first up ! despite going to uni in amsterdam, this gal was born and raised in the ole’ U.S of A. she’s from marfa, texas. it’s a very arty place. she was surrounded by art wankers as a child and it kind of educated her to a lot of shit, but also meant she grew up p fast?? like she learned about sex and death and violence from all these art people who thot they were Freeing her Superego n makin a genius child bt rlly.... they shd hav just let her play with dirt rather than showin her artistic representations of the inside of a dead bird.

 BACKSTORY TIME.. her mother was from the wrong side of the tracks, wanted 2 go to art school and started working as an erotic dancer to pay for college but then jst.... ended up staying there. one of those girls u see in the documentaries who had Big Plans but ultimately never got to pursue them n jst got.... sucked in by the money

 frida was raised in dressing rooms surrounded by sparkly costumes and nipple pasties and leotards and the like. as a kid she’d try to trot about in her moms heels n yearned for the day she’d be able to be on stage. 

if you’ve seen pretty baby its a bit similar to tht..... her mom works in a brothel n has her quite young n the expectation is her daughter will probs end up working at the brothel too when she's old enough. no1 really expected frida to get into a good uni or anythin

frida was p much raised by the town, to be honest. most of her youth was spent scurrying about half naked in cowboy boots and glasses too big for her face. a smol feral child

as a kid used to lie about being able to see dead people bcos she thought it’d make her seem cool and interesting to other kids n it got the attention of the girls her mom worked with. but when her mom realised people were willing to actually believe a 7 year old had seen their dead scorned lover, she saw it as an opportunity to swindle some extra cash and registered her as a child psychic n started putting adds out in local papers for palm readings and tarot predictions. 

when her mom hit 30s she couldn't hack being a sex worker any more, so she set up her own fortune telling business and hired a load of the girls from the club to be fake psychics. it was sort of a fortune telling parlour slash brothel, bt they kept tht very under wraps. palm reading upstairs, handjobs downstairs. the reason why some of the women from the strip club agreed to work there was because it was a business actually run by a woman who got what was going on, n not jst someone trying to make quick cash out of old men wanking

as a child, frida was on a few tv shows in the netherlands  making psychic predictions in front of live tv audiences and attempting to reach out to the spirits of their loved ones. this con continued into her teenage years, she even did youtube videos n had minor success, though she was accused of being a cheap horoscope predicter and packed it in shortly after a twitter backlash. 

if pressed, frida still claims to have a gift, but that it's not as simple as switching a light on and off, it comes when it comes, you can't summon it, and that's how she gets out of being labelled a fraud if anyone who recognises her demands a reading.

ws street smart, but also did super well at school? quite charming as a kid and good at winning adults over because of a life growing up basically conning rich white women out of their money just by telling them stuff they wanted to hear. was moved up a grade in junior high and graduated early. attended a summer school, before choosing to study in amsterdam because of the appeal of the red light district. very interested in the lives of sex workers and the way they express themselves. is only a freshman but, is like, 50% through her degree already jst cos she’s..... super passionate about her subject getting recognised as a legitimate brand of academia

she wanted to study gender performativity in the lives of sex workers and plans to do her thesis on the porn industry. it might be because of her childhood, growing up surrounded by sex workers, but she's obsessed with it, looks at mathematical structures and symbols in porn through a lens of politics and art history. very interested in visual art.

some ?mildly amusing? facts

owns 4 tarot decks and a crystal ball she bought frm an old lady with one eye

favourite drink is cherry coke

part of a burlesque collective at hendrix university who run speakeasy nights. is trying to set up her own small-scale grassroots burlesque group in one of the more mainstream clubs along the strip bcos there’s so much money and female tourists go wild 4 it

sells nudes on twitter. whenever she gets low on cash she contacts one of the seedy old men who used to visit her mom's club to venmo her $500 in return for pictures

that girl who’s always harping on about body positivity on instagram while wearing cute underwear and looking absolutely bomb 

really good at rodeo bull riding. the club in marfa had one so as a youth she got really good at it bcos she was constantly tryin to outdo her friends on who could stay on for the longest. a video of her staying on one for like 4 minutes after downing several jager bombs went viral once.

smol baby. 5′4. wears a lot of cute summer dresses n big boots. gingham is her usual dress style, or like red plaid, n then she’ll either have big white cowboy boots with spokes on the back or the really long doc martens. also owns a lot of abba-esque gogo boots and 90s creepers. flats?? who are they. has her hair in braids a lot, and usually has flowers or feathers threaded through it to add to her whole “mystic” vibe

micro-doses acid for mild depression bcos she didn’t believe in “that CBT bullshit”, thought that therapists, like her, were jst con artists so always a bit spaced out

her flirting technique is absolutely offering to read your palm. she used to do it all the time at school its how she met most of her eighth grade boyfriends. 

volunteers at one of the local galleries but mostly just rants to old white dutch men about how cis white men have dominated art for years :/ is one of those SJW-types but only?? when it comes to art?? 

has a pet rat called popeye

takes photographs of dead animals to use in her art and often posts them side-by-side with stills of women in porn to show the shelf-life of female sex workers in a patriarchal-dominated industry or some bullshit idk

big into spoken word poetry, even if its shit. likes savage depictions of femininity

wrote a thesis on art as an act of masturbation that got published 

big into capitalism and commodity culture. loves it.

wanted plots, fucker

ppl who are also studying @ hendrix but speak english !! bcos frida finished her exams a year early at like 17 n just up and left to amsterdam cos she knew if she got in-state tuition she’d never leave texas, she came to the netherlands with like, 40 dollars and a phrase book. eva was kind of her study-abroad mentor to help her settle into amsterdam campus life

ppl she met at an inter-school maths championship competition or something really fuckin nerdy like that. she probably got entered in a spelling bee or two, she was her high school’s pride and joy until people started calling her a slut in toilet door grafiti 

hook-ups !! frida does not do relationships, she had several girlfriends as a kid but she enjoyed the thrill of the chase more than being with one person. pan, but not about befriending straight men. very much fuck-em-and-chuck-em wham-bam-thankyou-ma’am when it comes to guys. that said, if u think ur character cld get under her skin n try n change that by all means be my guest

other ppl who wld be in burlesque with her. also she goes to strip clubs n peep shows like every day, thats basically research for her, so if ur characters would be into strip clubs they might see her there

she volunteers at a few galleries, tht is also a possible place where they cld kno each other from

i feel like she’d be on student council if they had one of those. shes that kind of bitch, turning up like elle woods with a big feather pen or a light-up heart marker, slamming down some truths before upping and leaving to go for her 11am chai latte break

mayb someone she’s trying to coach into being more body confident through self-expression in burlesque.

som1 who attended the art institute in marfa for a summer n maybe knew her when she was a bit younger ??? idk

drama. angst/ horror. someone accuse her of being a fake psychic and she’ll predict your horrific untimely death

nice bike rides in amsterdam please

yea like this if u a) want to plot or b) think the self is as undefinable social construct and i will slide in ur dms to further discus ruckus  x x

[pixiealtaira]

I was tagged by @chocoholicannanymous to post the first lines of the last ten fics I wrote...on. They all were WIPs..all of them.  It might be a bit embarrassing to admit that this doesn’t even make a dent in the WIPs in progress.  Nope...not a dent.

I realize I tend to long first paragraphs often, so I went with between 3 and 6 lines...

Pretty much nothing as a name...so I’ll refer to it by the title of the doc.

So, with our further fluffiery...from what I worked on latest to ten back....

1) Modeling AU ---glee WIP

Santana, Rachel and Kurt were filling the condiment bottles and chatting as they watched while the group of 4 singing wait staff finished their last song. Or rather Rachel and Santana were chatting and Kurt was trying to ignore them while not letting them know he was ignoring them, or at least not letting Rachel know he was ignoring them.   He wasn’t incredibly happy with anyone that moment, although he was at a better place with Santana than with Rachel.  It could have been because he and Santana had had it out a bit earlier so the air was partially cleared, but not cleared enough for him to be helping her chat with Rachel.

2) NaNoWriMo 2017 ---- glee wip, also second part to the story above but nano wants new works...so I made it one (this year nano was a failure...ended up with too much family drama going on and the son was a senior in highschool)

Kurt Hummel trudged into the costume workshop attached to the theater department at NYU.  He wasn’t sure Rosie, who he was supposed to meet up with was even there yet, as it was ridiculous o’clock in the morning, but the back entrance door was open so he figured someone responsible was inside.

“hello?” Kurt called out.

“In the room with the sewing machines, back right hand door.” Kurt heard yelled back to him.

3) NaNoWriMo 2016 ------glee wip...again this year of nano was a failure...but that was because I was sick for most of it

The summer after Blaine’s massive meltdown and tantrum and the subsequent break-up was looking to be…difficult. Horrid. Soul crushing. Kurt saw no relief from it. There was no one to ease the feeling that somehow he was solely to blame. He had no one to talk to, really.  Artie blamed Kurt and wouldn’t give him the time of day.  He was the only one still in New York City. He hadn’t heard from Elliot or Dani since before he was bashed back in February…he remembered asking about why he hadn’t and getting a vague brushing off and then the bashing happened and then every moment was focused on Blaine again…making sure he wasn’t feeling inadequate or ignored. And no body at work spoke with him, at least not at the diner. 

4) CM-Glee cross --------Criminal minds Glee crossover WIP...I am determined to finish this and it’s companion fic...I will...at some point

If one had asked, which of course no one ever did, Spencer Reid would have actually told that anyone who’d asked that he would have rather been anywhere else than where he was.  He’d have liked to have had the opportunity to give some input, to have some options! Yes, he’d had some …issues, especially when things were dealing with teens, but it wasn’t like everyone else he worked with had always done everything exactly right each and every time either.  (Morgan and any pretty women they worked with in any way shape or form…for example. Hotch stopped Spencer from talking before he got that pointed out though.)  These weren’t even really teens, for the most part…at least not high school students. Out of the six deaths, only one was a student.  Spencer did not see the reason Hotch had stared at him the whole time he gave his lecture on not letting themselves get too emotionally involved.  Nor did he see why HE and HE alone had been left at the police station when they arrived. He was actually an agent, for Pete’s sake.

5)nanowrimo 2013 ------glee and criminal minds crossover WIP...yes you read that date right,however this ficis over 80000 words and I think could be finished quickly if I could just get past one fricking scene

After Kurt’s summer from hell, Kurt Hummel had hoped that things would be better for the school year, or at least the same things wouldn’t be bad.  He was really tired of the repetition of misery that was his life lately. However, when it came down to it, school had been going just like it had the year before.   Granted, he’d only been tossed into the dumpster once so far. (He suspected it was because he was harder to toss this year after putting on a few inches in height.)  However, the locker slams had become brutal again and slushies were still a routine.

6) why Kurt speaks fluent french ----I suck at titles. Glee WIP.  Somehow half what was written for this got lost...on some hard drive or flash drive was another 5000 to 10000 words, but I have not been able to find it so we spent a bit over the summer rewriting.

Elizabeth Hummel looked around the parking lot of Hill Side Elementary School, and wondered once again where the hill that she’d figured it was named after actually was.  It certainly wasn’t anywhere near the school.  False advertising…that ought to be a good reason not to have Kurt go to there, although she was pretty certain her husband would disagree.  Elizabeth hated the school.  She had hated it from the start, really…from the moment they got the letter in the mail that told them that due to the schools nearest them being under construction still and the next closest school being under renovation and so only being able to house half the students it generally did…her child was slated to go to Hill Side.

7) Kurtoberfest day 16 holiday recipes --- WIP, almost done, maybe, au where Finn is alive

Kurt remembers the day Finn Hudson’s career path was chosen.  Finn had come to New York to ‘hang’ with his brother and sneer at Rachel and torment Santana.  (Ok, Finn said he’d come to hang with Kurt, but he spent more time sneering at Rachel and tormenting Santana than hanging with Kurt, to the point of refusing to go site seeing to places Finn had wanted to see in favor of bugging the girls.) Kurt and Finn had been watching old comedies waiting for Rachel to get back so Finn could bug her when Kurt switched from Sister Act to Kindergarten Cop.  Finn had never seen Kindergarten Cop. Kurt was frankly dumbfounded about that fact, seriously.  Kindergarten Cop was like a staple of movie viewing.  Finn watched Kindergarten Cop with an intensity that Kurt had only ever seen him give to 45 buck steaks and a basketball ball game on TV once that Finn had bet 300 dollars on.  Finn didn’t even notice when Rachel came stomping into the loft and then left again.

8)Kurtoberfest prompt 17 harry potter au ---glee and HP crossover

When Harry Potter left Britain, and the wizarding world, he decided to run to someplace he could get lost in.  He beat dear old Voldie, he’d won the damned war for them, and all he got from it was fits from people who didn’t like how he did it…he should have used magic, not non-magical means and he certainly shouldn’t have used a snake to help…and proof of just how manipulative certain people had been in his life, which thankfully the goblins had helped him with after he proved to them he did not sign anything giving anyone means to form marriage and partnership contracts with anyone. Half the Weasley’s weren’t talking to him, and he was fine with that after finding out that Ginny had been feeding him love potions because he wasn’t responding the way she wanted and that Dumbledore had sold him off to her mom, essentially in trade for her pledging the aid of all her children to Dumbledore’s cause.   He also didn’t appreciate that Dumbledore had promised Harry’s magic to the ministry in exchange for the ministry turning a blind eye to certain things Dumbledore had done…like sealing his parents wills with no authority to do so.

9)  Severus Snape meets a Small Harry What If ----Harry PotterWIP one of like 8 with this name in my WIP folder.  This one has a big harry and a small harry and is a bit dark

As Severus Snape watched over Flitwick’s classroom, full of Gryffindor third years, he cursed the fact that the quarantine of a house also included their head of house.  He cursed the outbreak of – what was it…ah, yes… the Chicken Pox – some silly Muggle disease a first year had brought back with them after a family gathering during the short spring break which had spread through the Ravenclaws like a wildfire.

10) T and T Kurt....Glee WIP  Just how did Kurt’s tiara collection get started?

Elizabeth Hummel looked around the dressing room area of the pageant and briefly contemplated her sanity…or lack of…in getting involved with it all.  She was tired of the tantrums and whining and screaming done by both mothers and children.  Luckily her child wasn’t involved in any of that.  Her child was seated off to the side.

“Katerina Bates, please come stand by mummy.” Elizabeth called.

The child slid off the chair they were seated on and hopped over.

“Elli. Not Katerina.”

“Katerina today. You can be Elli tomorrow.”

Yeah....there were six other in that Kurtoberfest bunch being worked on, three other HP and three other CM fics..because I told myself I would finish a WIP this summer and my mind said NOPE, Will no concentrate on One. Nope Nope Nope.

Also wrote lines for beans  for Clever Jack and the Magic Beanstalk because of course the magic beans needed a whole mini scene song and dance number to themselves...of course they did.

[ammacdiaries-blog]

When In Williston....Just Don’t

First entry.  First attempt at writing a short story.  The following is a true story.  Obviously, names aren’t included.  I do welcome all feedback.  Please also share.

Here goes….

Fresh out of training, yet still in my probationary period dubbed first 120.  I began my embarquement from Seattle, Washington to Chicago, Illinois on my normal run called The Empire Builder.  The total journey would be 6-days; 3 there and 3 back.  Assigned to the Sleeper Car, I was in charge of first class services.  This entails providing services to 16 to 24 rooms with 1 to 5 passengers per room; making beds, to-go meals, luggage assist, etc.  I especially like working in the sleepers because of the direct customer contact.

This summer was proving to be an especially difficult one.  Continual track work bestowed us with countless delays.  This resulted in irritated passengers.  Still nothing I couldn’t handle.  Even as we entered Wolf Point, MT and I learned a tornado caused a freight liner to derail just ahead of us, I could still direct the mood of irritated passengers into a more positive one and keep people entertained.  

I guess I was too focused on the people and paid no attention to my arachnid homies, causing one to get especially bitter.  I asleep in my room, while Charlotte spun her web somewhere in the vicinity.  After a long day of whipping out some web, she must of developed a bad taste in her mouth.   

Through her several eyes, I can only guess she saw me as one of two things: An asshole who was keeping her trapped there, or a nice humid incubator where she could sink her teeth into a nice tender thigh.  Since Wilbur never gave her any bacon, after writing all those messages in the web, I assume she saw this as her one opportunity to get some good squealing in.  

I awoke with a burning sensation in between my legs.  Not that of a result of a great time with a complete stranger in a cheap hotel room.  But still one that would require countless antibiotics.  Where’s the fun in that?  I’m not sure whatever happened to Charlotte.  But I’m guessing after her journey to the nether regions of my southern hemisphere, she turned eight feet up and six feet under.  

Now me being me, I of course fell right back to sleep.  If the intruder alarm in my house won’t wake me up for long, chances are some heat near my hot pocket won’t wake me up either.  When I awoke though, I discovered Charlotte’s little parting gift for me.

Throughout the next several hours, I worked as normal.  Trying to ignore the pain of what started out as a pea-sized nob, and then had grown into a half-dollar sized coin.  By the night, I had started mastering the penguin waddle.  You skinny people might not get this reference.  But the penguin waddle is what us larger people do when chafing occurs in between the thighs.  As to not piss our ham hocks off any further, we keep our thighs close together and swish our hips, while keeping our legs straight in order to keep pain at a minimal.   I haven’t had to use this maneuver since my teenage years.  Luckily, it was like hopping on a bike after not being on one for a decade.  Oh the things I take pride in.

Going late into my 3-day, and still no where near Chicago, the abscess between my thighs had now grown to about 6-inches.  Still too scared to seek medical attention, I did find it in my better interest to let a crew member know just in case, you know, something worse could happen.  Despite his years of experience and vast knowledge of how Amtrak handles things, I still chose not to make management aware.  During the first 120, it was ingrained in our heads you will be fired for any mishap.  I must emphasize, this is not the case as I later learned.  

Our layover in Chicago, when on time is approximately 18-hours.  The delay from the derailment lowered that layover to approximately 4-hours.  I had planned on going to urgent care, getting an I&D, then leaving out on my return trip.  Unfortunately, I had just literally pulled a 24-hour shift, and was allotted 4-hours to do laundry, take a hot bath, nap for 1-hour and then return to work the train going back.  I was riding myself hard and putting me away wet.  

The wound had now spread from my groin to knee and was the most beautiful color of dark purple, had it not been my flesh.  Full car coming back, there would be no rest for this wicked man.  

In the distance, I heard the sound of a call light go off.  As it was lunch time, this could only mean they wanted to order their food to-go as opposed to being normal people and eating in the dining car.  Normally I wouldn’t be so irritated by such an easy request.  But my time back on this bicycle was making my ass more tender than veil.  

After collecting their order and returning with their food, I knocked on their door.  The vibrations of the knocking must of set off the richter scale because a splitting of the plates happened.  I ruptured.  The man answered the door with the biggest smile.  Those fresh burgers for him and his girlfriend had finally arrived.  And how he couldn’t wait to sink his teeth into them.

Yes he was greeted with that, but no.  There would be no smell of fresh angus beef and bacon in the air.  There would be that of the foul stench of the walking dead.  I dare not say what just happened.  We both looked at each other as if to say “What hell did you eat?”.  He knew it wasn’t him.  I knew it was me.  But he didn’t know that.  I gave him the look like it was him.  Which I hope made him believe it was his girlfriend.  Both our faces wrinkled to the point of needing an immediate injection of botox.  We still managed to exchange product for gratuity.  If they are still together, I won’t ever know.  

I was at a loss.  There was no more penguin waddle left in me.  I could only now slither like a slug to the nearest shower room and play doctor with my first aid kit.  I texted my partner in crime to let him know that an act of God had just occurred.  And thank goodness because we were approaching our next stop and I had to let passengers on and off.  There was no way I was going to help people with sappy, soupy pants on with the fragrance of that one wouldn’t even smell in a soup kitchen.  

Now seriousness was going to have to take place.  There was no further thing I could do but seek medical attention.

“Good afternoon passengers” came across over the PA system.  “Our next station stop will be Williston, North Dakota.”  

This was to be my stop.  The conductor had called for an ambulance to take me to the hospital.  I had only had about 15-minutes to pack my room, dress my wounds, dress myself and be available at the door.  Oh, and please don’t forget that I’m still only one 1-hour of sleep.  

As I stood there waiting for that next station stop, my passengers had began to cluster around the vestibule area, eager to step off the train, have that much desired cigarette, and of course witness my grand exit.  

I open the door upon arrival and before me are approximately 14 paramedics.  Not quite the paparazzi, but still very intimidating.  Then the press conference begins.

“Why is it you think you need an ambulance?” the one reporter boasted.

“I beg your pardon?”  What the hell kind of question is that?

“Why do you think you need to go to the hospital?”

Am I interviewing for a patient position, I thought.  I turned and look behind me to see my passengers just a chomping at the popcorn, anticipating what I was going to say next.  Well I’m sorry to disappoint.  But your not going to hear me say “Oh I have a compromised immune system and a wound the size of my fucking thigh just blew up in my thigh and I thought this would just be the next fun thing to do in my day.”

“I’ll be more than happy to answer that questions on our way to the hospital without an audience.”  I assertively replied.  

While dancing in the back of the ambulance to every pothole on the road, someone must have heard me say “I have ebola”, because when I got to the hospital, every person was wearing thick gowns, spit guards, and filtered masks.  I’m now so emotionally distraught, and tired, I have no idea what to do.  

I then was blessed to meet probably the only person with a brain, the PA who walked in asking why she felt she was on a movie set instead of a hospital.  As the lambs started “baaaaaaaaaahing” out their reasons, she quickly schooled them and said contact precautions as normal.  None of this additional crap is necessary.  She then looks at my wound and says “Cellulitis and possible MRSA.”  Oh Christ, I thought.  My next emotion was to cry.  Apparently this was something they didn’t know how to handle.  Well not handle so much as acknowledge.  

Because at this moment, I had learned Nurse Ratched had continued her education, becoming a doctor, my doctor and was standing before me.  “If we don’t keep you here, what is it you think you’re going to do?”

I didn't understand the question.  Yes, it was to the point.  I just didn’t see how it related to me.  “What do you mean, what am I going to do?”

“Well do you think Amtrak is going to just give you another ticket?  What are you doing to do?”

Despite Nurse Ratched’s continued education, I noticed she still somehow must have missed any courses involving bedside manner.  It feared me though that once I explained I was an employee and fully insured, how quickly her tune changed.  But that wasn’t a hill I was ready to climb.

While being admitted as an inpatient, I had understandingly fallen asleep to only be awoken by the Hospitalist, a harpy I dubbed Olga the Oger.  “Michael, we need to talk.”

I fumbled to awaken myself.  SInce my bladder felt as if to explode, this initial task was a bit easier.  “I need to use the restroom first.”

I’m not sure what kind of fetishes this harpy had, but she grabs a urinal,sits it in front of me, then sits down herself, giving me the strongest execution of poker face I had ever seen.

“Without an audience.” I commanded.  

While waiting for her to come back in the room, flapping her wings to perch in her nest, I fell back asleep.  Then again with that same shrill I heard “Michael, I said we needed to talk.”

Hold up.  What’s that?  No ma’am.  You obviously don’t know who I am.  It was at that moment my hummingbird ass was put to rest by my alligator mouth.  I couldn’t believe I had it in me.  The harpy looked down, looked at me in the eyes, then said “I am getting security.  I don’t feel safe with you in the room.”

Security must have been busy fighting the meth monsters from the emergency room.  Because she came back with no soldiers.  Which I was fine with.  I grabbed my big boy britches, apologized and proceeded our discussions.

Three more times she ran out of my room in fear.  No my friends, not from my hot temper.  But to change every order she had already written for me because she failed to find out my allergies beforehand.  I was starting to feel that Charlotte and I were going to be seeing each other again in the after life by the way things were going.

Well I survived the that 5-day stay in the hospital.  But no.  Mount Fiji had yet to be conquered.  My final night in Williston was to be at a hotel.  Work had generously called me cab to take me to the Ritz, no Discount something or other inn.

As I stand there waiting for my chariot to arrive, a strong sense of anxiety consumed me as I saw this black SUV come racing towards me.  Oh God.  This can’t be my cab.  I found placing my luggage in the back to be especially easy as the the whole back window had been busted out.  Upon entering the cab, I took notice to the several inches of dirt and dead insects upon my bench.  I especially loved that my “driver” rhythmically licked and chewed his lips as if they were two cheeseburgers from the best burger joint in town.

“Now they told me you would need a receipt.  I told them we give receipts on cards.”

Fair enough I thought.  Wait….What’s this.  Lip Licker hands me the card of a female real estate broker who specializes in short sales at Remax.  On the back of my card it says Cab Fare $17.00 and a signature.  Oh yeah.  Accounting will look at this like seeing a turd floating in a punch bowl.  

Thank Christ, I’m at the hotel!  I walk in to see the accommodations were doable.  Not the Ritz as I dreamed.  But after my week, a cardboard box set up in the middle lane of a highway in a rainstorm wouldn’t seem so disappointing.  “Sir.  We have your complimentary dinner available for you in the hallway over there.”

Dinner in the hallway?  Oh hell yeah!   Jackpot.  I couldn’t wait.  As I stand in line behind every roughneck in the state acting like vultures before 3 metal canisters, I couldn’t hardly wait to see what lottery winnings I could be consuming.  Door number one had something that I think might have been tuna.  Whatever it was, it was shredded, white, and crusty on top.  Behind door number two, chicken so oily, had I dropped it, Foghorn Leghorn would have slid straight to the Canadian Border.  Then behind door number three, corn dogs so hard, I could speer someone’s eyes out from across the room.  I figured between the preservatives, and the 600 different antibiotics running through my system, the speers would be the best way to go.

Oh let the C-Diff begin!!!!

It’s safe to assume, if I’m ever bit again, by anything, I’ll probably not wait so long to address it.  Maybe I’ll start asking for directions too.  

[btsfash]

BTS JHOPE Style/Fashion Analysis

Absolutely no one asked for this but I still DELIVERED! Also I’m a new account and I’m planning on making similar posts for the other six members as well as outfit scenarios in the future but now... to start with our Fashion King... here’s my take on how he creates his looks, styles he reaches for the most often and what to do if you want to recreate his looks! 

(warning: text/image heavy post ahead) ☆ (masterlist)

Post Contents:

1.) Introduction and main points 

2.) Accessories 

3.) Shoes 

4.) Building Hoseok inspired looks 

5.) Personal favorite airport fashion/looks he’s chosen

6.) Favorite stage fashion 

7.) How I style scenario outfits for Hoseok 

Introduction: Hoseok’s an aquarius all the way and I definitely think the curiosity/creativity of his sign is reflected in his fashion. His style has a lot of of hip hop and streetwear influence, but recently he’s been wearing a lot of more relaxed pieces in earth tones. Hobi’s favorite color has always been green and recently he’s been wearing a lot of olive green bomber jackets and shirts (likely inspired by Kanye West’s YEEZY and Kids See Ghosts collections). Just look at his hotel closet he recently showed us on vlive….

(also isn’t he sweet … he unpacks and hangs up all of his clothes in the hotel room i love our tidy baby :’( !!)

Overview: before i get into more elaborate analysis of his fashion style here are some common brands, styles and color combination typically wears!

1.) color combinations he wears often: black/white/green, monochrome, black/white/red, olive green/dark brown/black or dark grey, light blue/grey/white, navy/olive green/bright green, navy/red/white 

2.) common themes in many of his outfits: teddy bear material jackets/hats, printed oversized scarves, dr martens 1460′s or 1461′s, dad sneakers, yeezy slides/waverunners, jordan 1′s, crossbody bags, backpacks, simple silver chains and pendants, kangol hats, bucket hats, sunglasses with colorful lenses, nylon windbreakers, black or green bomber jackets, light wash denim jeans, shoelaces in contrasting colors, bags/accessories made from clear material 

3.) brands he wears often: supreme, levi’s, yeezy, dr martens, balenciaga, ready made, fear of god, kids see ghosts, kaws collaborations, jordan, off-white, a cold wall, vetements, puma, chanel, gucci

Accessories: Hoseok tends to accessorize his outfits pretty heavily and frequently wears eye catching sunglasses, jewelry, belts and bags. I admire his style a lot because he can pull off very bold looks that are still true to his roots as a hip hop dancer. Basically sunglasses with colorful lenses, chain necklaces and rings all are in line with Hobi’s personal style. Unlike the other members, Hobi doesn’t have pierced ears so he usually won’t wear earrings unless they’re clip on or for a concept. His reason for not piercing them is that he “loves his ears and wants to keep the purity of them”-- WHEN WILL HE STOP BEING SO CUTE I’M SMITTEN!!! The key to Hobi’s style therefore lies in other types of accessories so here are some of his more iconic accessories/items I’ve noticed he reaches for a lot:

1.) Glasses 

Hobi tends to either reach for glasses with either a horn rimmed style or simple aviators with a thin metal frame. He’ll usually pair the former with a more clean and boyish look like with a cardigan and a tee and the latter with a more streetwear inspired look. 

2.) Sunglasses

(cr: HOPRINCE)

IMO out of everything he wears Hobi’s sunglasses are probably the most out there and set his style apart from the other members in terms of recognizability. He tends to choose sunglasses with plastic and thicker rims that usually have a designer logo on the side (frequently Off-White or Chanel). On stage he’s usually styled with sunglasses that have see through colorful lenses with thinner, metal frames. 

3.) Bags

(cr: BABY TAETAE) 

(cr: SUGA MOUNTAIN) 

(cr: Hopefully)

Hobie has a lot of different bags he takes to the airport but something I’ve noticed is that he’ll often wear a completely neutral colored outfit and then pair it with a colorful bag to top off the look. This is a good guideline to work with if you want to dress in a way that emulates his style! 

4.) Hats/Headgear 

(cr: GlossBeat)

(cr: HOPE SMILING)

(cr: FEBRUARY)

(cr: HOPEYES)

The beanies that Hobi wears are usually solid color or have minimal patterning. The hat style he seems to wear the most often are nylon bucket hats or wool bucket hats from kangol. Oftentimes if he’s wearing a bucket hat with a logo on it he’ll also match the color of the logo somewhere else in his outfit. Also, he occasionally wears visors in the summer and cutely parts his hair down the middle when he does 💚💚💚

Shoes: Hoseok’s shoes deserve their own category entirely because  Hoseok’s 100% a sneaker enthusiast and so am I. He tends to wear sneakers more often than any other type of shoe so I’ll mainly be discussing his sneaker collection and preferences here! 

1.) His current shoe rotation during the Speak Yourself tour

(source: BTS_twt)

I LOVE the shoes Hobi’s been wearing currently! On tour he brought a couple pairs of jordan 1′s (2 of the travis scott collab jordans and the “not for resale” 1′s in brick red) as well as a grey and white pair of dunks. He’s also been wearing more Louis Vuitton pieces since their menswear has taken on a more streetwear edge when they made Virgil Abloh the new creative director. In the first pic he shows us most of his shoes which include a really casual pair of LV sandals as well has some black and white dr martens 1461 oxfords. He also brought along a black and white pair of low top sneakers by XVESSEL. 

2.) Hobi’s most worn sneakers 

(cr: bts0715 on tumblr) 

These are the first few styles that came to my mind when I think about Hobi’s sneaker rotation. Hobi occasionally wears puma’s outside of ad campaigns and he wore vans in the past more often than he does currently. He tends to prefer nike/jordan brand over adidas and the most common silhouettes he wears are air force one lows (usually from the Off-White collaborations) and he wears Jordan 1′s more than any other Jordan. He also prefers more rare Jordan 1 styles that fetch high resale prices (example: the travis scott jordans and the off-white breds). His luxury sneakers tend to be the “dad” style like his Balenciaga Triple S’s and some of his Gucci sneakers. 

When looking for similar shoes to what Hobi wears I suggest either simple, white nike air force 1′s or looking for dad sneakers. I also recommend dr martens boots and oxfords. Hobi also tends to like colorful sneakers that aren’t too over the top and mostly have a neutral tone to them. He also likes sneakers in a highlighter green color paired with black or dark neutral tones! 

Building the look: something I notice Hobi’s style is that he usually keeps the color palettes of his outfits within 2-4 colors. He’ll often find pieces with small colorful accents and match them together even though they’re from different brands. I think this fit is a perfect example of how Hobi styles himself:

Even though this is an outfit he wore for a RUN!BTS challenge, I still think there a lot of takeaways here that are also in other Hobi outfits. Here Hobi took the red tones from his shoes, bag, jacket, beanie and even down to the accent color on his shirt collar to pull the look together. The green from the bag is in the same shade range as the blues and reds and he even matches the blue tones on the jacket to his jeans and shoes. I also think this look combines the three things you see in a lot of Hobi’s outfits which are usually...

1.) something cute and boyish: the striped shirt and the little beanie are a very fresh and a common look among male idols

2.) something urban or industrial: the cut of the pants makes them look like high end workwear. Hoseok tends to wear a lot of utility inspired pieces (cough cough…. his dior outfit from the speak yourself tour omg) so looking for pieces with these influences will have you dressing like our fashion king in no time.

3.) something very expensive: the members have said themselves before that Hoseok tends to have to most expensive clothes. Our multimillionare king has a gucci carry on and balenciaga sneakers here. While I wish I had $800 to drop on shoes like he does there are a lot of affordable bags and dad sneakers that can be used to achieve the same silhouettes that Hoseok has going on in his normal fits

Hobie is so matchy matchy with his outfits frequently he’ll even change the color of his shoelaces to match another color in his fit (example: the white laces on his black boots and the red laces on his jordans). To me this is really reminiscent of the types of editorials shot in Hypebeast magazine. At the end of the day Hoseok and other people who dress in a streetwear style are usually wearing outfits consisting of t shirts, sweats, hoodies and other casual items. The accessories and attention to detail are what set these looks apart from each other and in my opinion Hoseok has a really good eye for the types of minute details that can really make a streetwear fit elevated. He often mixes luxury bags, shoes and sunglasses with clothes that at face value often cost less than 200 dollars all while keeping to a very tight color palette. I think if I had to sum up Hoseok’s style I’d say he has great taste in sneakers and unconventional silhouettes and a really good eye for small details in color and fit.  

My Favorite Airport/Outfits chosen by Hoseok:

(cr: OHNEWS) I love how he rocks these black rim sunnies with an all black fit. This would be a really clean and easy look to recreate since all that’s needed is a black bomber, black jeans/a t shirt and colorful sunnies with black rims. I loved this look so much when he wore it that it was the first BTS look i ever tried to recreate :’)

(cr: Hopeyes) this look is MAJOR like you can see it’s an instance where he works with a tricolor palette and kills it. Another thing I really like here is how much this jacket reminds me of womenswear (specifically the I.AM.GIA pixie coat). I really admire that Hobi plays around with materials and silhouettes that read more feminine and unisex we love a KING who’s secure in his masculinity!!

(source: twitter) we all saw this coming but he looked amazing here and that’s facts. Also here’s one of the times he’s worn one of his famous “acorn pouch” mini bags on his waist uwu cutie

I worship his look from the boy with luv dance practice if ur reading this i���m probably crying over it right this second. he makes double denim look so effortlessly GOOD here and the pairing with the Nas tee, the jordan 1′s and the rainbow striped belt just works??? we love a fashion icon 

(cr: Hopeyes) i like this look a lot because it’s a bit unexpected from what he usually does! i love a good burberry print and the fact that it’s on a bucket hat makes it more fresh

(cr: Hope Crescent) this look is SO cute he looks so cuddly and again i love that he’s rocking a backpack that’s a bit more feminine

(source: twitter) listen….. this look is everything to me he’s so cute. the all white outfit + kangol hat + bright green bag …… (chef’s kiss) here hobi went for an almost totally white outfit with small black accents on the logos of his shirt and hat and then pulled the look together with a bright color pop. King of tricolor fits! 

(cr: Raymond Hall) hobie proving for the 2181994th time that he’s the CUTEST… I also love this look because it’s an example of Hobie’s more fresh and boyish looks he’s been wearing often these days but he still keeps it unexpected with the bag he’s carrying 

(cr: Hope Utopia) I live and breathe for this look.. his lil glasses and his big t shirt UWU i think this outfit is a good representation of the types of looks he’s been creating these days and it’s easy to recreate with things you might already own!

(cr: Hopeyes) another instance where he keeps it interesting. the lil visor with his red bangs is sososo cute

(cr: Jhopebox) this is a very quintessential Hobi fit to me. He tends to prefer nylon/windbreaker material the most and he often wears slides. 

(cr: SUGA POWDER) this look is so steazey i love how he reinterprets the yeezy boost 700′s (which u can switch out for any dark dad sneaker) in a really retro way. here he does the tricolor thing again and matches the tan of the shoe’s sole with a cap and the shades in his sunnies. i also think it’s super fashionable that the hem of his shirt hangs a lot lower than his jacket and it’s def a style note i’ve used from Hobie before 

My Favorite Stage/Schedules Outfits:

(cr: Hope Solstice & Hopeyes) I’d risk it all for fake love era Hoseok and that’s that

(cr: Dispatch) more fake love Hoseok because it was… and i cannot stress this Enough… HIS ERA… like the animal print and the leg garters with the wavy hair WHEW

YALL if you thought i was done here’s MORE fake love Hoseok because.. the damn latex gloves they put him in keep me UP at night!!! also the under cut like siR THIS IS A MCDONALDS DRIVE THROUGH

we all saw this coming but Hoseok ATE this performance at bbmas 2019

(source: inkigayo) it’s not new knowledge that this man can rock a double denim look but he looks so sweet in his boy with luv promotion fits i love them so muchhhh

tbh I loved DNA era Hoseok’s styling I love when he wears cute printed blazers/button downs that make him look like a lil rockstar :((( i think with his bright personality this type of styling suits him well also the red hair was so ❤️❤️❤️❤️

(cr: 218) we all saw this coming tbh when I was at the tour this outfit completely annihilated me. i also feel like this is a relatively easy look to recreate! if you have a utility belt, black and loose fitting pants, combat boots, belt chains and a black ribbed top then you’ve got his look 

(cr: 218) i love double denim hoseok he looked so good this day.. the cute brown hair ..... the pretty dainty necklace i’m fading goo,,db ye

(cr: 218) him onstage in those blue sunglasses hits DIFFERENT i loved this look during the tour ... also the fact that the audience’s army bombs are reflecting off the lenses n it looks like he has stars in his eyes don’t talk to me i’m cryingf

How I style scenario outfits: For everyone out there who wants to be Hoseok’s Y/N (get in line I’ve been here for a while) I tend to only pull from some aspects of that one interview from I Need U era where the members discussed their ideal type’s fashion style. Some of the main pointers I use from this interview (since it’s one of the only times to my knowledge the boys have talked about preferences about style) are these:

1.) a girl that wears feminine clothing but nothing too fancy (dislikes high heels or fancy attire)

2.) someone who has a lot of cuteness

3.) likes girls who are interested in books and who he can chill out, read and talk with (she’s a lil nerdy i guess 😳…)

Based off of this my takeaways are that Hoseok likes a more relaxed style on a girl that still has cuteness and femininity. When I make outfits for Hobi scenarios I try to incorporate more feminine styles but also combine it with the way Hoseok dresses since out of all the members his style is probably most similar to my own. I use his usual technique of matching up 2-4 key colors in different areas of the outfit to make a cohesive look. I also try and include streetwear/industrial elements since Hope wears these himself but then represent them in a feminine way.

Thank you so much for reading if you made it this far~ I hope to complete similar style posts for the other members in the near future. I mainly wrote this for personal gratification and to really roadmap out my ult’s style. I also have major post-concert depression after metlife and perhapsimisshoseokmorethananythingintheworld BUT I hope to create more BTS fashion related posts in the future xoxo please anticipate! 

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: Yume Twins Oct 18

This month, the magazine features an article on Nyanpire, and this is the months Yume Prize:

Besides Pokemon, we also got some adorable Marumofubiyori items, fitting in with the prizes from the months contest.

Nyanpire Clear File

Besides Hello Kitty, Nyanpire is another asian kitty I’ve always been crazy over; and who better to celebrate Halloween with? Especially when you have 3 cute designs!

I never really have much to say about clear files (and now is no exception) but I love how decorative it is, and I like the idea of of having one that suits the holiday, so if you did use these you could swap out another one for it if you wanted.

Like the file I previously reviewed- this one is pretty bent from being shoved into a box. But as I’ve noticed the last one has straightened up nicely and I’m pretty sure this one will too. Although out of the 3 I think this one was the worst in terms of out of box shape.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I initially didn’t plan on rating this as I didn’t have very much to say about it. But as I mentioned above, I feel like the out of box plays an important factor on these files. Maybe I’m just being nitpicky but I don’t really like the idea of using it while it’s so bent. It can be fixed no problem so it’s not a big deal- but I kind of wish the boxes were more... suited for items like these?

Also, the plastic wrapping on it was a real pain to pull off, I had to tear it apart and it annoyed me because I wanted to keep it in one piece to re-use.

Spirited Away Origami Set

Our next item is this fun set of origami papers, with an included tutorial on how to make an origami ghost like the one I made here. In the set there are 4 different papers (and I only just now realized that instead of the 4th paper I put in the packs cover image... the 4th paper is the black one on the bottom left-hand corner).

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I was a little conflicted over how to rate this one, because I think origami is pretty fun and it’s a nice way to relax after a long day or in those stressful times. The paper feels really nice and I love how detailed each one is, it’s pretty rare for me to ever see any that isn’t just plain or textured paper.

But at the same time, my little issue is that I actually am not very crazy about this paper either. I really like the cute pastel block one, but I’m not a huge fan of this movie so I feel like I’m unable to fully appreciate it. Like, I don’t see myself using it very often unless I want plain paper or really wanted to make origami and didn’t have anything else... I also kind of feel bad using the paper because of the designs.

I’m an odd duck, I know.

Cute Cat Paw Gloves

These are purrrfect if you want to dress up as a kitty for Halloween~

They also make comfortable gloves if your hands feel a bit chilly to provide enough heat without entirely making them uncomfortable. They also just make a really cute fashion accessory.

They were available in black, white, and pink (and possibly more colors). There is also a yarn string you can loop through them to keep them connected.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

As I already own a black pair I honestly would have loved to have gotten either white or pink, but I don’t hate these either. Out of all 3 pairs I have (the other color is grey btw, I got them from another box a year or two ago), I have to say that somehow these are the most comfortable pair I own. I really like wearing these whenever my fingers begin to freeze up, which happens kind of often.

Although they do tend to hinder things like using the laptop and typing...

If you would like to own a pair of these for yourself, I know there’s a handful of websites that sell these.

Kawaii Rabbit Plush

Our next item is this kawaii bunny rabbit; who I put like this this or the picture because from other angles it was kind of hard to get a good view of the details. The rabbit comes in several varieties, including this one, a pink one with a bow, a white lop-ear with a bow, white with black ears and paws, brown with white markings, and grey with white markings.

I kinda wish I got the pink one but I really like this one too. I’m not sure if she has a name so I’ll be calling her Marshmallow for now.

(also on a humorous note, they have “buttons” like pompompurrin)

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The plush is one of those marshmallow squishy plush that you can squeeze and pull, the material is very soft. I love the little details like the pom-pom mouth and blushed cheeks.

I also really like the large variety offered with these; I like the idea of friends each being able to have their own variant, it would be perfect for role play as a magical girl or something :3 Each one has its own personality.

Ghibli Cup

This is our next item, an adorable plastic cup featuring 2 of Studio Ghibli’s really popular movies, an orange Totoro cup and a yellow Jiji from Kiki’s Delivery service cup.

If you’ve been a long-time sub subscriber you might recall a smaller Totoro cup I got like this several months/a year ago back. They’re probably by the same company or something because the drawing style of the Totoro one matches mine.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I know they’re just cups, but I really like these types. they’re so adorable and fun to use. I like using cutesy plastic cups like this when I’m not in the mood for something fancy like glass. My mood often changes.

I also like that you could use these for other things, like as a rinse cup, decoration, holding pencils/stationery or other small items, plus these would be suitable for children who might just be learning how to use a cup. You can do a lot with it without worry it’ll break.

Pokemon Hand Towel Set

Set items are pretty rare, and who doesn’t love adorable Pokemon home products~?

These sets of hand towels include 2 variations. Both feature one of pikachu an eevee (who each have 2 different designs), but the third could either be Gengar or Mimikyu! I love them both so I’d have been happy with either one x3

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

So as I said, it’s rare for us to get a set of anything so it’s already pretty nice because of that. I also think the designs are really nice, and because of it being a set you could share these if you wanted :D which is always nice.

If I had anything negative to say it’d be the fact that they have visible holes from where the little plastic bits held them together. But they’re not that bad.

♡ Cutie Ranking ♡

Content - 5 out of 5. I really liked what we got! I’m a little on the fence with the Origami paper, but I don’t hate it. We got a nice variety of items we don’t often get, minus the stuffed animal anyway.

Quality - 4 out of 5. Everything is fine, but the booklet mentions that there were bonus Nyanpire stickers for Halloween that I don’t remember getting. I don’t know if it was a last-second change in decision to not include it, or if I actually was skipped. I can’t remember if I wrote them an Email about it or not. So for possibly forgetting an item I’m marking them down for quality control.

Price - ???? out of 5. I’m not really sure how I feel about it this month. I kind of want to say no, I don’t think these are items all together worth 30-35 dollars, but because of the name brands I could see why they might be.

Theme: 5 out of 5. I feel like the items are sort of a play on the theme. Like Pokemon, which are Pocket Monsters, Nyanpire is a spooky-cute series, the rabbits are meant to resemble the magic aspect as familiars/pets owned by magical beings, cat paws for costumes, Jiji is a black cat... you see where I’m going with this?

Total Rank: 8 out of 10. I really liked the box, and I like how they kinda played with the theme rather than directly aim for it. But at the same time I kind of get tired of these mainstream brands showing up in these boxes; as much as I love Pokemon and Totoro, a break would be nice.

♡ Cutie Scale ♡

1. Rabbit Plush - With the variants possible to collect and it’s charming texture and appearance, I was definitely in love with my little Marshmallow~

2. Pokemon Hand Towel Set - I like how each one has a different design/Pokemon, although I kind of wish they had made a little more variety. There’s tons of Pokemon they could have used!

3. Nyanpire File - This is perfect for the Nyanpire lovers, Halloween, kitty lovers, and goths (or if you’re like me the loli-goths x3). It makes me happy to look at~

4. Ghibli Cup - I’m so happy I got the Jiji one x3 I love kitties, plus I wasn’t too crazy about the vibrant orange Totoro cup- but I like how they both fit the fall/summer season.

5. Cat Paw Gloves - I love how they look and feel, but as I already said I have multiple pairs of them so by now the same black paws are getting a little stale...

6. Spirited Away Origami - It’s not cute, like at all. But I do like the designs on them. Alrighty, that’ll be doing it for this review. I hope you enjoyed yourself, feel free to send me a message if you have any questions about the box or various box brands I order from ;3 next up I’ll be doing the Gacha Gacha crate I just got the other day, then I’ll be returning to our regular scheduled boxes. Until next time, stay cute!

[claramcguireartistry-blog]

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4. Keep it natural with some master direction

Easygoing, straightforward, and downplayed tastefulness have been excessively stylish as of late—and the natural look is detonating in prevalence. In case you're seeking after something outdoorsy and extraordinary, make certain to bookmark Rustic Wedding Chic.

Noteworthy notice: The rural stylish is one of the most straightforward to accomplish with a little diligent work. Helpful couples should peruse DIY Bride for ravishing, simple to-do ventures.

5. Financial plan cordial assets and tips

Hoping to spare a couple of dollars so you can spend too much on your special night? Can't legitimize burning through the majority of your reserve funds on one day? You can at present have an awesome wedding with a lower spending plan! The Budget Savvy Bride has huge amounts of tips and suggestions to enable you to set aside extra cash without settling on quality.

Respectable notice: Kiss My Tulle started as a spending wedding blog and has extended to incorporate everything the straightforward millennial lady of the hour could seek after. We're talking DIY thoughts, spending agendas, and everything in the middle of to enable you to handle your wedding arranging (without going insane all the while!).

Reward: we have the deets on gathering arranging and how to ensure your wedding music is on point

Exquisite Event Entertainment has been helping couples have astonishing weddings and gatherings for quite a long time—and our accomplished Los Angeles wedding DJs and MCs can work with you and your organizer to ensure your unique day goes off easily. Get in touch with us to study our extraordinary lighting bundles, DJ administrations, and photobooths!

Best Wedding Cake Scenes in Movies

Each wedding has something that makes it a mark occasion. For one lady of the hour it could be about the dress. For the following, the most imperative angle could be the music. And after that there are the weddings that spin around the sustenance. From tidbits to appetizers, some pre-marriage ceremony put a lot of significance on what is around to eat. While you may have an incomparable steak or brilliant finger sustenances on your enormous day, there is no wedding nourishment more essential than the wedding cake.

Snap here to see 10 Best Wedding Cake Movie Scenes

Wedding cakes nowadays can cost upward of $1,000. They can be robed in fondant or decorated with genuine blossoms. Maybe they are a transcending heap of cupcakes or smaller than expected cakes. Regardless of how you cut it, the wedding cake is one thing individuals remember — and it isn't a direct result of the taste. The wedding cake is something beyond a dessert shop masterpiece, it is an ordeal the whole wedding gathering recollects, regardless of whether the lady of the hour and man of the hour softly feed each other chomps or crush it in their cherished's face. That individual association with the sweet is the reason we recall any film scene that includes a wedding cake.

In films, wedding cakes will in general take the spotlight. They can sing, much like the lovable cake from Muppets Take Manhattan, or be flung over the room in a rambunctious sustenance battle. The cake might be too wonderful to even think about ignoring, much like the fabulous elephant cake in Rachel Getting Married. The thing is, a wedding cake is something to recollect, be it, in actuality, or in the motion pictures. Look at these exemplary true to life cake scenes that you unquestionably always remembered.

Tips for Handling 5 Wedding-Day Disasters

Nobody needs to hear the words wedding and calamity in a similar sentence—particularly when it's your own wedding that is being discussed. While genuine catastrophes are fortunately uncommon, littler disasters are not bad, but at the same time not enough to blow anyone's mind even with the best arranged weddings.

As a portion of LA's busiest wedding DJ's, we've seen a lot of bloopers, and we would say, the strongest couples not just have an extraordinary disposition toward the unforeseen, yet in addition are furnished with strategies to guarantee any disasters don't escape hand. To enable you to ride out harsh spots in your big day, we've assembled a rundown of tips for how to deal with wedding accidents.

Imagine a scenario where: It's falling down in buckets on my open air wedding.

While a stormy wedding day isn't excessively likely in LA, each savvy couple has a Plan B, even in radiant California. It's a smart thought to lease a tent for an outside wedding—at any rate, it'll give your visitors an obscure spot to chill. You may even need mutiple; for example, in the event that you have live performers, they may require a secured territory to play.

Another thought? In the event that the conjecture isn't looking extraordinary, incorporate a reasonable umbrella on every visitor's seat as a cute gift. On the off chance that it downpours, everybody has an individual haven, and your picture taker will get some truly cool Mary Poppins-esque shots.

Most importantly, it is key for you as the lady of the hour and man of the hour to stay cheery about a blustery function, and your visitor will stick to this same pattern. Since there's literally nothing you can do to change the climate, simply unwind, have a decent giggle about it, and appreciate the magnificence of the compelling force of nature—that is the thing that the couples highlighted in this NY Times article did, and the wet climate wound up being an affectionate memory for them. (Clue: read the entire article for progressively extraordinary thoughts for what to do in the event that it downpours at your wedding).

Consider the possibility that: I have a closet breakdown on the move floor.

Stains, tears, runs, broken heels, popped ties, and even feathered creature crap on a lapel are reasonable worries for any lady of the hour or lucky man. With regards to fixing closet breakdowns, there's not a viable alternative for being readied. Prior to your big day, collect a "medical aid unit" with things, for example,

Additionally, toss in some bandages, moleskin, and moment ice packs, just on the off chance that you or an individual from your wedding party experiences a cut, rankle, or a face-plant into the move floor.

Any move floor disasters can likewise be moderated by an ace wedding DJ, who will realize exactly what to state—and play by occupy the group—in most any circumstance.

So in the event that you or a visitor does to be sure have a humiliating minute, basically grin, snicker, and proceed onward. Almost certainly, everybody will understand, and the less dramatization you make out of it, the more rapidly individuals will proceed onward to the following thing, similar to a line dance or eating cake!

Imagine a scenario in which: I stumble on my dress when I stroll down the passageway.

For the most part, the most ideal approach to approach any incident is with cleverness—and that is never more valid than with regards to a slip or outing. Dismiss it and continue. For somewhat viewpoint, look at this story: one couple's picture taker truly fell through the ice, and he continued shooting the entire time. It's a quite sure thing that any lurches you take will be inconsequential in correlation.

Consider the possibility that: I wake up with seasonal influenza on my big day.

Becoming ill on your big day is the most exceedingly terrible! While you can't absolutely kill the opportunity that you'll contract the muck, you can take measures to forestall ailment and guarantee your insusceptible framework is working in best structure for your wedding and special first night.

Paving the way to the day, take insusceptible boosting nutrients and enhancements, drink a lot of water, and get your 8 hours of rest each night. On the off chance that conceivable, abstain from spending too much time in swarmed open spots, and if your sister asks you to keep an eye on wheezing baby, this is one time when it's legitimate to state no. In the event that you do wake up on your big day feeling off, ensure you have some OTC cures in your purse—ibuprofen, Pepto, decongestant, and so forth.— to give some help after all other options have been exhausted should you need it.

Imagine a scenario where: my playlist goes haywire and the chicken move stalls out on rehash.

On the off chance that one thing can cut down the vibe of a wedding gathering, it's terrible music, or an absence of music totally. Luckily, this accident is practically 100% avoidable. Skirt the DIY playlist and contract an accomplished, proficient DJ to deal with your music. Additionally, ensure the DJ you pick has their own demonstrated reinforcement framework if there should arise an occurrence of crisis for one less thing to stress over.

Last useful tidbits

In the event that you do wind up getting fatigued in spite of doing your best to be a trooper, don't be excessively hard on yourself. It's

[young58kappel-blog]

Shamed By Wedding Photographer At Engagement Shoot

San Diego professional photographer, Cary Pennington supplies photography for weddings, portraits, professional headshots and serves San Diego, Rancho Santa Fe, Solana Beach, Del Mar, La Jolla, Encinitas, Orange County and Los Angeles, 2017 all rights scheduled. The professional photographers have currently bought all of the products they will require for your wedding event, paid second shooters, assistants, purchased travel, hung out in conferences with you, planned timelines, booked your date, and denied other wedding events for that date- loosing out on countless dollars in income. How it works is that the knowledgeable photographer will quote the client ₤ 600- ₤ 1000. I like wedding events since I get to witness filled with loving, pleased, and grateful minutes in between couples, between family and friends. Do not count out an Individual who is not noted as a Professional Wedding Event Photographer. Choose what type of package you desire from the beginning and stick with it. Excellent wedding event photographers will be very in advance with what they are charging you. Thank-you for sharing Lauren and sorry to hear of your experience ... regretfully it is not the first time we have actually heard it or seen it. This is frequently why couples look at having Rock-The-Dress (Trash-The-Dress without always trashing the dress) as a method to have additional photos in their collection. Does your photographer understand ways to keep things on time throughout the day? The Professional photographer will own the copyright rights in all images developed and shall have the exclusive right to make reproductions. " Blatantly steals cash from you all while holding your pictures ransom," a user named Andrew composed in an evaluation of the Moldovans' wedding event shoot. A lot of photo and video specialists base part of their charges on travel time to, from and between locations, however, if asked, will frequently approve discounts if you're having your wedding and reception in the exact same place, or if your websites are close to one another. Excellent article on an important subject for photographers and small business owners. Basic wedding event picture bundles under $500 may consist of 1-4 hours of protection by one photographer, evidence in an online or difficult cover album, and a minimal number of prints or printable images on a CD or DVD. I LIKE being at the Salt Lake Temple as it was where I was sealed myself, and to my 3 fantastic little young boys. Start by thinking of what sort of wedding photos you enjoy to take a look at. Do you like the idea of having beautiful wedding event photos that could pass for fine art? Likewise for Canadians (most likely), if the contract states that the customer will appoint the copyright back to the professional photographer in exchange for a lower up-front rate, then that's what will take place. Professional photographer will not be held accountable for compromised occasion coverage due to disturbance from other celebrations, consisting of late arrivals by members of the wedding event celebration or their guests. Alon David photography Studio offers Wedding event Photography WorldWide services in areas all around the world including: San Diego, La Jolla, Carlsbad, Los Angeles, San Clemente, Cabos San Lucas Mexico, Hawaii, Orange County, Irvine, San Francisco, New York, Chula Vista Jewish Wedding Photography in San Diego and Los Angeles Wedding event Professional photographer Contact us for more information about wedding photography in San Diego or for your location wedding and worldwide weddings. The Wedding photography San Diego is the kind of wedding event photography that not only catches the images and the moods, however it likewise catches the deep conventional worths as well.

I have on a number of occasions taken photos at wedding events, and was provided compliments that some of my pictures were better than exactly what the pros shot. While some will have basic rates, oftentimes the nj wedding event photographer will enable you to negotiate their services. Besides photos of people, photos of inanimate items are also taken at wedding events. In this installment we will be covering: Concerns to Ask Your Photographer. Engagement images aren't as extravagant as your wedding event photos so do not stress about setting up a pricey photoshoot if you don't have the means. Let us catch every precious among those wedding memories throughout your day. Wedding dates in late spring, summer season, or early fall are frequently scheduled solid lots of months ahead of time for quality photographers.

So we connected to wedding professional photographer Alisha Siegel to obtain the questions she believes every client should ask before they book with her Here's exactly what she needed to say. Months back ago in a post one photographer said you should shoot as lots of wedding events as you might totally free to obtain the experience. There are 2 professional photographers who both have a wedding event photography bundle that cost $4,000. The ideas above for an effective wedding event professional photographer agreement are just a start. For now, though, let's continue being the type of professional photographers we would want to hire ourselves, and hope that the professional photographers hiding behind non-disparagement provisions keep driving business our way. If a photographers images suck, but they are costly- don't employ them. I'm proudly based with Washington DC Wedding professional photographers, however offered for commission at any destination. link You need to feel comfortable welcoming the professional photographer "backstage." As a wedding photographer, I frequently get invited to see the most intimate parts of the big day that are typically not noticeable to most visitors and even household. Add those into the agreement to offer clearness if you offer extra services for your wedding event customers. We like our Friday night date nights, turning strangers into buddies, discovering terrific restaurants, exploring brand-new communities, our two Maine Coons, and great time with family and friends. In this blog, we'll look specifically at questions you can ask your clients through surveys to generate material for wedding event blogs. For simply $500 more, an additional photographer would take pictures, potentially doubling the number of images you'll ultimately get. Keep in mind, your pictures will be among the most enduring aspects of your wedding event - you'll wish to make sure you find the ideal photographer to catch those valuable memories for you. Unveiled Wedding Photography is among San Diego's the majority of extremely sought after shop wedding studios. I do not suggest somebody photographing a wedding event without A MINIMUM OF 3 years of studio experience and an excellent understanding of the science and art of photography - this is naturally if your wish to EARN the title of expert photographer and not be a hacker our entire life. Experts bring along a large range of skills and experiences that have prepared them to be at their best on your big day. Our photographers will develop a strategy with you prior to your wedding and then direct this plan on your day making it feel uncomplicated and enabling you to take pleasure in every minute. There are different routines like Seven Assures of Indian Marriage which are called as 'Saat Pheras 7' and are performed on the day of wedding. Hawaiianpix is found on the island of Oahu, simply beyond the bustle of Honolulu. Pictures by Duggan (consisting of an album) start at $6,900; wedding movies start at $4,550; photos by associates begin at $3,950. Videography and same-day edit videos are some typical add-ons on packages. You should anticipate to pay, on average, 50% to 100%+ more when choosing well-experienced professionals, designer labels, popular occasion places, distinct or custom-made products and services.

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 9/3/21: SHANG-CHI, CINDERELLA, WORTH, MOGUL MOWGLI, YAKUZA PRINCESS, YEAR OF THE EVERLASTING STORM, and More

There’s only one new wide release this week but I’m not gonna say this movie title five times, because it’s so freakin’ long, that I can only really say it once. But it’s a good one! There’s also so many limited releases that as always, I just couldn’t get to all of them. (Word of warning: This column was finished under the influence of Churches' excellent new record, Screen Violence.)

Marvel Studios’ second movie of 2021, SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS (Marvel/Disney) stars Simu Liu as the “Master of Kung-Fu” from the comics, making his very first appearance in any live-action form that I know of. I have to say that I loved the comics as a kid and was truly bummed when I sold my whole collection, knowing that a lot of the great run of the comics from the ‘70s and ‘80s that have never been reprinted. That being said, this is Marvel’s first solo character introduction going all the way back to Brie Larson as Captain Marvel back in March, 2019, and before that, you’d have to go back November, 2016 for Doctor Strange, since Black Panther was introduced in Captain America: Winter Soldier.

Shang-Chi is directed by Destin Daniel Cretton, who broke onto the scene with indie films like I Am Not a Hipster and the better-received Short Term 12, which also introduced much of the world to Larson, and then the two of them made an adaptation of The Glass House. Cretton then directed Michael B. Jordan, and again, Larson, in Just Mercy for Warner Bros., which grossed $36 million in early 2020 but never quite achieved the Oscar hopes some were expecting. Still, all that work with Larson paid off, because it got him a meeting with Kevin Feige and Marvel for him to pitch this.

Granted, Simu Liu is a bit of an unknown quantity, having not made too many movies and being best known for the sitcom, Kim’s Convenience. On the other hand, his co-star Awkwafina has been building quite an impressive career from her roles in the 2018 hits, Crazy Rich Asians and Ocean’s 8, plus her starring role in the indie, The Farewell, for which she won a Golden Globe (but really should have gotten an Oscar nomination). She’s taken that success to put it into her Comedy Central show, Nora from Queens, while also providing her voice for lots of animated movies, including this year’s Disney animated movie, Raya and the Last Dragon. Most who have seen the movie early have mentioned that her comic chemistry with Lu has stolen the movie and oddly, her “best friend” character Katy seems to be heading towards a larger part in the MCU.

If we look at movies based around characters who received solo films before appearing anywhere else in the MCU, we get the aforementioned Captain Marvel movie, which had an insane $153 million opening weekend, doing even better than the Distinguished Competition’s own solo female movie, Wonder Woman, even though the latter was definitely better known. Captain Marvel ended up grossing over $400 million domestic and over a billion worldwide. The Doctor Strange movie that preceded it, starring Benedict Cumberbatch, didn’t do quite well but still opened with $85 million and made $232 million domestic. A year earlier, Marvel Studios’ attempt to make Ant-Man a thing led to one of their bigger disappointments with that opening with “just” $57 million and grossing $180 million domestic. (That also cost $30 million less than Doctor Strange and $45 million less than Captain Marvel, but when you get to those budgets over $100 million, every dollar counts to making back that budget.)

As with many MCU movies, Shang-Chi has been receiving rave reviews with a strong 92% on Rotten Tomatoes from over 140 reviews (at this writing). My review of this is over at Below the Line, and I loved it, too. The big selling point for Shang-Chi is that like Black Panther was to African-Americans, this character is to Asian-Americans, being able to see the first Marvel movie starring an Asian-American, as well as a mostly Asian cast that includes the great Tony Leung and Michelle Yeoh (who also starred in Crazy Rich Asians).

There are a few factors to bear in mind, and not just the COVID Delta variant one that we’ve been hearing so much about -- there’s no denying that things are getting worse, and hopefully this can be quelled before there’s another shutdown. This weekend is the four-day weekend with Labor Day on Monday, which has never been a great weekend at the movies, partially because schools have either started or are about to start and people just stop going to movies, despite there having been plenty of early September hits like Warner Bros’ It. September is definitely a new month for Marvel to release a movie, but with all the delays due to COVID, it’s a good (I’m not gonna use the term “experiment) to see if Marvel really can withstand the proverbial 12-month release calendar rather than their movies needing to be released over the summer or holidays or any other month.

Unlike the recent Black Widow, which had a substantial $80 million opening, Shang-Chi is not being released simultaneously on Disney+ via Premier Access, which presumably will mean more people will have to go see the movie in theaters during its 45-day run before heading home, but the question really is “Will they?” Besides Crazy Rich Asians, which did incredibly well among non-Asians, there haven’t been a ton of movies with Asian casts that have done well just due to the fact -- I mean, look at the recent Snake Eyes from Paramount Pictures. It didn’t get nearly as good reviews, but it’s another superhero movie with a mostly Asian cast, and that community didn’t get behind it at all. Maybe we can say the same about Raya but that also was released much earlier in the pandemic.

With that in mind, I do think Shang-Chi is good for a four-day opening between $53 million and $57 million, although I don’t think we can expect this to have the same impact as a Marvel movie with a well-known character or actor in the lead.

This weekend’s four-day box office should look something like this:

1. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (Marvel/Disney) - $55.6 million N/A

2. Candyman (Universal) - $13.2 million -40%

3. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $11 million -16%

4. Paw Patrol: The Movie (Paramount) - $7 million +6%

5. Jungle Cruise (Walt Disney Pictures) - $4.5 million -10%

6. Don’t Breathe 2 (Sony/Screen Gems) - $2 million -30%

7. Respect (MGM) - $1.8 million -20%

8. The Suicide Squad (Warner Bros.) - $1.3 million -35%

9. The Protégé (Lionsgate) - $1.4 million -43%

10. The Night House (Searchlight) - $800k -39%

Hitting Amazon Prime Video on Friday (as well as select theaters in New York and L.A.) is Kay Cannon’s musical CINDERELLA (Amazon), which was originally going to be released theatrically by Sony Pictures in January, but it then became one of the first movies to have its production be shut down by COVID, so everything was delayed, and then Sony just decided to sell it off to Amazon, but considering everything going on, that may have been the wise choice, since I have a feeling more people will see this on Amazon then would have gone out to theaters with COVID, school starting, etc. Either way, you can read my interview with Kay Cannon over at Below the Line.

The movie stars pop star Camila Cabello In the title role of the musical was the brainchild of James Corden, who is no stranger to musicals. In fact, he seems to appear in almost every single one, or is that me? The nice thing is that you already know the story, as that hasn’t changed much, although Cannon definitely gives it a more modern spin in terms of Ella being far more feisty and a truly modern woman despite living in times where women aren’t allowed to do their own thing. Ella wants to be a designer, and she’s already making progress as she sews beautiful dresses in the basement where she’s kept by her stepmother (Idina Menzel) and taunted by her stepsisters (Maddie Baillio and Charlotte Spencer). One day, she meets the Prince Robert (Nicholas Galzitine) in the woods and has such an effect on him that he decides to hold a ball and invite all the women in the land in order to find a princess.

Like I said, pretty much the same story that we’ve seen in so many adaptations and quite a few musicals, and really, what probably will stand out more than anything is how talented Cabello is, considering that this is her first acting role in a major feature, and she kills it. I wouldn’t say that I love all the song choices, but I did love most of the arrangements, and there are so many great standout moments like “Shining Star” performed by Billy Porter as Cinderella’s “Fab G” (replacing and gender-switching her Fairy Godmother) and Menzel’s performance of her own song she wrote for the movie is a definite showstopper.

Obviously, casting the likes of Menzel and Porter means you have a couple ringers, but Minnie Driver is also great and even Pierce Brosnan kind of makes up for his horrific singing performance in Mamma Mia! This time, he gets something more in his range. And James Corden is in it, but it's such a small role that even those who truly hate him don't have enough time to do so.

It’s probably a cliché to say that this Cinderella won’t be for everyone, and I’m sure many critics had their knives out for it sight unseen. Personally, I know tons of fans of musicals and movies like Into the Woods, and yes, the Pitch Perfect movies, who will really enjoy what Kay Cannon and her talented cast and crew have done with the story. Kay Cannon’s Cinderella is a movie that’s more about fun entertainment than anything particularly cerebral, and in days like these, maybe that’s all that is needed sometimes.

There's a ton of other interesting indie films out this week… some of them are even good!

A movie that many (hopefully) will view with interest is Bassam Tariq’s MOGUL MOWGLI (Strand Releasing), co-written by and starring Riz Ahmed, which premiered all the way back at the Berlin Film Festival in February 2020. Besides it being of interest due to Ahmed’s presence, Tariq is also rumored to be directing the new Blade movie for Marvel Studios, starring Mahershala Ali, so many will (hopefully) be checking out this movie for that reason alone. (It certainly grabbed my interest.)

In the movie, Ahmed plays Zaheer who raps under the pseudonym of Zed, but he’s a Pakistani living in London at odds with his parents and the Muslim traditions put upon him. Just as he’s about to go on a major tour that could give his career a much-needed push, he suddenly loses the ability to walk and is diagnosed with a muscular disease that will involve stem cell therapy.

Okay, yes, this is another movie involving Ahmed as a performer who is hit by a debilitating condition much like his Oscar-nominated turn in Sound of Metal, but this is a very different movie that also deals with culture and religion and other things that just had much of an impact on me. Zaheer is told by his doctor that after the procedure, he would be unable to have kids, so he should freeze his sperm, and there’s a scene that I personally experienced when I was told the same before my stem cell transplant.

As much as this is very much a family drama, there’s also an interesting almost horror element to Mogul Mowgli as Zameer is constantly being plagued by hallucinations and nightmares, but there’s also some light humor in the fact that his main competition, another Pakistani rapper named “RPG,” is a bit of an idiot. But this really is Ahmed’s show, and heck, I might go so far to say that I think Ahmed’s performance in this movie is even better than his performance in Sound of Metal if you can believe that.

Mogul Mowgli proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that Riz Ahmed’s Oscar nomination was no fluke. He is clearly one of the best actors we have today, and he also shows that lacking the right material, he’s just going to write his own. It's opening at New York's Film Forum on Friday, and I'm not sure where else.

Brazilian filmmaker Vicente Amorim’s action-thriller YAKUZA PRINCESS (Magnet) -- which has played a couple recent genre festivals like Fantasia in Montreal -- really should be my kind of movie. Based on the Manga of the same name, it’s set in Sao Paulo, Brazil, where I used to live as a kid, believe it or not, but it’s also one of the largest Japanese communities outside Japan. In this environment comes newcomer Masumi as Akemi, who was orphaned as a child and left in Sao Paulo, but she later learns she’s the heiress to the Yakuza crime syndicate. She ends up meeting a badly scarred-up stranger with amnesia (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) who believes an ancient katana sword might bind their fates.

Like I said, this should be my kind of movie, because I love Yakuza films and crime films set in the world of Japanese crime, and as I said, I lived in Brazil, so that country still hold a place in my heart. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of amazing Yakuza films from the great Takashi Miike, and this one is just so erratic in terms of pacing and tone that it really took me quite some time to really get into it.

Unfortunately, this movie at its core feels like another Kill Bill wannabe where Amorim relies so much on being super-stylish and throwing in lots of fast editing to make up for the lack of originality or any real substance.

The writing in the movie isn’t great, at least at first, but it’s also far too obvious how new and green Masumi is as an actor, because she delivers her lines and swordplay with very little charisma, and Rhys Meyers isn’t much better. In fact, the film’s best parts are the ones in Japanese, but that’s in the second half where the movie slows down considerably. There is the expected amount of gory swordplay and people being shot in the head, but there’s also way too much unnecessary exposition, much of it in bad English.

There’s just no way around that this is a movie that tries to jump on a genre bandwagon that has been handled so much better by Japanese filmmakers, while this just fails to keep the viewer interested beyond its soundtrack and the score by Lucas Marcier and Fabiano Krieger, which is pretty fantastic. Sure, it’s pretty violent and gory, but at times, it relies too much on viewers really only being on board for that. Other times, it feels like a patchwork of elements that don’t necessarily work together but also feels so derivative of so many better films.

Essentially, Yakuza Princess is yet another overly stylish action movie that’s better when everyone is fighting rather than talking. I had a hard time staying interested, and I’m not sure if that would have been exacerbated if I saw this on the big screen vs. a screener. Unfortunately, you'll only get to see on the big screen in certain regions, because it's mainly being released VOD.

Hitting Netflix on Friday after a week at New York’s Paris Theater is Sara Colangelo’s drama WORTH (Netflix), starring Michael Keaton, Stanley Tucci, and Amy Ryan, which premiered all the way back in January 2020 at the Sundance Film Festival. In the movie, Keaton plays Kenneth Feinberg, an opera loving lawyer and college professor who is commissioned to start the 9/11 Victim Compensation Fund, which has to come up with the amount of money that the families of those who died in the terrorist attacks will receive.

As you can probably expect, this movie is a laugh a minute… no, I’m kidding, this is a well-written and acted, but also often rather dry drama that’s about a serous topic, but it also feels like it comes so late after 9/11 that it doesn’t feel as relevant anymore, even with the anniversary coming up soon.

The movie is very much a spotlight for Keaton, who sports a heavy Massachusetts accent but still delivers a solid performance as the man with the unenviable task of trying to calculate the payouts for the people who lost loved ones in the 9/11 attacks. But Keaton doesn’t just deliver himself, he also brings out the best from everyone else in the cast, not too surprising from Ryan or Tucci, but there are also lots of pleasant surprises, including Shunori Ramathan and some of the actors playing the people who lost family members.

More than anything else, the movie is very much about the excellent script by Max Borenstein (who mostly has written a bunch of Godzilla and King Kong movies, oddly enough), and in that sense, it reminds me of Tom McCarthy’s Spotlight or the recent The Report, which are both solid movies but also very dialogue-driven ensemble dramas. Colangelo does a fine job with the film's pacing, which much have been a difficult task.

The only real problem with Worth is that it's so filled with crying and drama it's pretty hard to take for two hours straight. Basically, it’s one of those very good movies that you really have to be in the right headspace to get through it.

Michelle Civata's THE GATEWAY (Lionsgate) is a crime-thriller set in rural St. Louis with Shea Whigham playing Parker, a social worker who is trying to protect his client, a single mother (Olivia Munn) with a young daughter, whose husband was just paroled from jail with a drugdealer (Frank Grillo) trying to get him back on the payroll.

I wasn't sure about this one at least as it started, even with such a solid cast, which includes Bruce Dern as Park's estranged father, and it certainly started out a bit erratic with some scenes and characters working better than others. What works in the movie's favor is Whigham is such a good actor who rarely gets juicy roles like this one where he can be at the center of the story, and The Gateway shows that maybe this shouldn't be.

Despite a woman as director and co-writer, the whole thing comes off as fairly macho, clearly influenced by filmmakers like Scorses, but the fact that there's heart and real characters at the center of the movie that doesn't offer some degree of action -- gunfights, car chases and such -- does make The Gateway far better than it could have been.

Unfortunately, things start to fall a bit in the last act, although there are some great scenes between Whigham and Dern, and I generally like what the movie is trying to say about family. Because of that, The Gateway ends up being a decent indie crime thriller that doesn't veer too far from others but gives Wigham a long-deserved leading role to show his stuff.

The Gateway will open in select theaters, and be available via Apple TV and other digital platforms Friday and then be available on DVD and Blu-ray on Tuesday, September 7.

Sean King O’Grady’s thriller WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING (IFC Midnight) stars Sierra McCormick as teenager Melissa, who ends up trapped with her family in a house after trying to shelter from a storm… and boy, did this movie remind me of this awful recent movie called John and the Hole that IFC released last month. And this one really isn’t much better, despite starring great actors like Vinessa Shaw and Pat Healy.

Honestly, I have no idea why anyone would read the script by Max Booth III (based on his own novella, no less) and think, “Boy, this would make an interesting movie,” but this is the age we live in where everyone is trying to make something cool and woke for the kiddies, and in this case that comes in the form of Melissa’s goth girlfriend Amy (Lisette Alexis) who shows up (in flashback) as so that they can do some incantations which may be causing all the weirdness. It’s as if the filmmakers thought that throwing in a bit of The Craft might save it.

I probably was most disappointed by Healy, since I’m such a fan of his work, but he isn’t given much to do except rant and rave and yell a lot, and he really comes off like an asshole, which is not a great look for him.

O’Grady throws all sorts of things at the family like a not particularly scary stupid looking rattlesnake that has them screaming horribly and some kind of… werewolf or something? (I don’t know ‘cause we never see it. We just see its tongue which Melissa rips out.) Honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen worse acting, which just makes the family even more annoying.

With a really stupid premise that is barely able to carry a movie, if you’re gonna call your movie We Need to Do Something, then for EFF’s sake, DO SOMETHING! Man, this movie frustrated the hell out of me.

Also out on Friday is the anthology film, YEAR OF THE EVERLASTING STORM (NEON), which features an amazing roster of filmmakers, including David Lowery, director of the recent The Green Knight, Jafar Panahi, Anthony Chen, Laura Poitras (CITIZEN4), Apichatpong Weerasethakul, and others, taking a semi-documentary approach to share their thoughts on living in a pandemic… I watched the Panahi and Chen segments but never got to the rest, but if I do, I'll add my thoughts on the film as a whole when I have a chance. The movie opens at the IFC Center in New York this Friday and then in Los Angeles at the Laemlle Royal next Friday.

I wasn’t able to get to Safy Nebbou’s WHO YOU THINK I AM (Cohen Media), based on the best-selling novel from Camille Laurens, but it stars the great Juliette Binoche, a single mom and middle-aged professor who is ghosted her 20-something lover so she creates a fake Facebook profile for 24-year-old avatar named “Clara” who is friended by her ex’s roommate. This opens at the Quad Cinema in New York on Friday as well as in L.A. at the Landmark, and I hope to get to watch it soon.

Another movie I’ve been looking forward to seeing since it premiered at Sundance but just haven’t found the time is Lyle Mitchell Corbine Jr.’s WILD INDIAN (Vertical), starring the great Michael Greyeyes as a native American man who decades earlier covered up a classmate's murder, but now has to deal with a man who wants vengeance for the secret he's trying to keep as he tries to protect his wife (Kate Bosworth) and boss (Jesse Eisenberg) from that secret. Sounds pretty amazing and man, I wish I could just fit in more movies with everything I have going on right now.

Chad Michael Murray plays the title role in Daniel Farrands' TED BUNDY: AMERICAN BOOGIEMAN (Voltage/Dark Star PIctures), which hits VOD and DVD this Friday, but unlike last week's No Man of God, which deals with Bundy already in prison, it deals with Bundy still on the prowl and the law enforcement agents who eventually brought him down including detective Kathleen McChesney (Holland Roden) and rookie FBI profiler Robert Ressler (Jake Hays). I haven't had a chance to watch this yet, but it would have been nice if they released the two movies in chronological order, no?

A great doc that played at the Tribeca Festival a couple months back and will hit Showtime this Friday is Sacha Jenkins’ BITCHIN’: THE SOUND AND FURY OF RICK JAMES (Showtime), an absolutely fascinating look at the controversial funk and soul star whose catchy dance music of the '70s led to drugs and worse offenses in subsequent years. This is a fantastic doc that I wish I could watch again, but I don't have Showtime. Waugh waugh...

Others that came out this week or weekend:

AFTERLIFE OF THE PARTY (Netflix)

STEEL SONG (Gravitas Ventures)

SAVING PARADISE (Vertical)

Next week, the new horror movie from James Wan, Malignant, as well as Paul Schrader's The Card Counter, which I think might be going wide next week, too.

[aboutpatrick]

Project 2: Art Interview

For my art interview, I decided to interview my good friend Yianni Binaris. He is a sophomore studying fashion design at Syracuse University. He is one of three males in his whole major. He started fashion design when he got to school and became so good at it that he was invited to represent Syracuse University at New York Fashion Week in NYC. Here’s what he had to say about the world of fashion design and what he wants to do in the future. 

1. What made you decide to go into fashion design?

Um, I got into fashion because when I was younger all I wanted to do was design. I would draw on anything and design whatever and like from that I got into sneakers. Sneakers got me into clothing and the next thing I know I’m here. So I guess it was just a real effect of art. 

2. Do you have any experience in fashion prior to this?

No. I didn’t even know how to sow. Which was definitely a big wake up call when I got here. It was hard especially the first semester because everyone, for the most part, knew how to sow. Everyone was kind of familiar making pieces. And I was just sitting there and I was like Woah. I was considering transferring out of the program. Once I taught myself how to, things went well. 

3. How long have you been working on fashion design?

For about two years.

4. What is it like to be one of the only men in the fashion design program?

One of three males in the program. 17 kids in total. I went to New York Fashion Week. I was the only male there. I guess in today’s society becoming more equal, it's defiantly like interesting it's like I’m the minority now but if anything it's kind of cool cause I’m this underdog. So I have the advantage in a way, that I’m the underdog so no one sees and no one is watching and no one expects this kid to do something that will stand out. It helps me ten times better. I think being an underdog makes it easier.  

5. How long does it take to make a product?

For example for the fashion show, I did last semester for FABS, which is this on-campus fashion show. I completed 16 pieces in total. 2 being dresses. For that at least I was doing this whenever I had free time. Any moment I had I would do like ten minutes on the pieces. For the most part, I spent around like 20 hours maybe a little more on that whole collection for the show. Each bag usually takes around an hour to do from start to finish, an hour and a half maybe to make sure it's a perfect perfect piece. But I know the fastest I’ve done was thirty minutes. Maybe less which was a test result. 

6. And what was that for?

It was just for fun. I wanted to see how fast I could do it. It took me thirty minutes

7. Where do you get the materials for products?

When I first started I was just buying fabric from fabric stores. Honestly, the start to go nothing crazy. And then once I got back to school for my second year, my professor gave me all his scrap materials. And that started getting me thinking more about being sustainable. And what I been trying to do is just using scraps. So for my last clutch, I did with Pop Cycle in Syracuse, all the bags use scrap materials. Little to no purchases made for the materials, everything was just scraps that I found in rooms, around the warehouse where the old fabric was. I had a lot of stuff from Italy that was supposed to be thrown out, leathers that were from Spain collecting dust in a furniture store I collected it. Just anything I can get.

8. What is the process like to make the pieces?

Right now I’m working on pieces that are for the next fashion show which I’m planning on doing in April and for the show the theme is sustainability. I started to see what I wanted to do with sustainability. Cause that’s such a big topic. You can either do a dress out of bottle caps or like taking ur old fabric. Instead, I wanted to go with a different approach making everything wrong but in a way right. I took a kitchen carpet and then turned it into a skirt with buttons. Once I figured out the ideas I started creating new ones. Like I found ripped bags and tuned it into a skirt. Everything around me I used and using my environment to make stuff. Then from there, I make patterns. So I take paper and I trace out what the piece is going to make a sample out of some cheap fabric and once it's all good I make the real piece. For the bag at least I would make random bags and would take my best ideas from the bags and mix and matching the pieces to see which one looks best.

9. How did you start selling clothes?

For my bags, I sold them through Instagram and word of mouth. And that’s just because I was really educated on how to sell stuff. So I would tell people to post my bags on their Instagram and I would give them a free bag that cost me 10 dollars to make but I would sell them for 50. So I was making money that way and it came to be that in the following weeks I was getting random DMs from people asking if they could buy my stuff. It was awesome. 

10. Have you had any challenges so far, if so what were they and how did you face them?

I would say definitely the choice. In the beginning, I was questioning if this industry was for me. Because I was struggling with the major. Then I figured out that it takes time and work and you can’t bullshit. You got to just do the work and put in the time. Then towards the end of my freshman year, I was reading books about fashion. I read four books about different things. One was a military general about being on top of shit, the other book was on menswear, a book on bags and then a book on sales and business. I did this on purpose so I can prepare for my challenges and not struggle. I guess the challenges I faced were all problem-solving stuff and I was able to educate myself. 

11. How do you stand out in a saturated market such as fashion?

I think I stand out because I’m not doing what everyone else is doing. I’m a firm believer in not following every designer on Instagram. When I design stuff I don’t go on Instagram I don’t get inspiration from the internet.    I literally take whats around me and just be like I want to design something based on what u wearing. And then tomorrow I would go back and be like “ I really liked that white strap on Patrick’s jacket let me do something like that. Rather than going on Instagram and being like last week I saw this same design let me also do that. Because then what are u doing? You’re doing nothing. We are at a time where I feel like everything in fashion has done already.  It's just how u take what has been done and make it new and what is new is up to you to figure out. 

12. What is the purpose behind your brand?

My brand is Treeasun. And I started in the summer of 2019 because I wasn’t trying to make money, I wanted people’s opinions on my brands. Cause you send a picture of your pieces to your friends. They are your friends so they will always say “ Oh it looks great” but that’s not what I needed. You got to get honest opinions, the brutal stuff. At first, I started giving the bags out and seeing what people liked. Then once I figured out what people actually liked. I took that into consideration, tweaked some stuff and started selling them right away. The first month I sold I think 15 of the bags broke and I fixed them and gave them right back. It was a learning experience to see what worked and what didn’t work. It was really just throwing a bunch of stuff out there and seeing what the people like.  

13. How do you balance practicing fashion with your other obligations, do you allocate a certain amount of time each week to working on a project out of class? If so, how much time a week do you allocate?

It's funny cause I enjoy it a lot so I get carried away and I end up doing it all day. Like Saturday I was working on a dress due for Monday, then I had a photoshop, which I had to direct, then I had to do other stuff. But I enjoy that type of stuff, but at the same time, it's still a shit ton of work. When I get back to my room I literally don’t do anything. I need ten minutes to get my mind off things and then I’m back to regular programming. In order to do all this designing, I need a break. Especially during Christmas break I literally stayed in my room and played video games and really took my mind off things. It helped me have a fresh mind for new better ideas. 

14. Do you have a favorite piece you have designed, if so what is and why is it your favorite?

This piece I did base off this designer named Geoffrey Beene and it was super difficult to make. Even my professor was questioning if I really wanted to do it. Because usually dresses are like 8 pieces of fabric but this dress was about 42-52 pieces. The dress was all curves so it made for the sowing process to be much difficult than any normal dress. I was like I wanted to do this, it's cool. I took the whole theme and design to like a different perspective rather than taking Geoffrey Beene and looking at his designs and copying his designs. I decided to see what he likes and the things he did as a person like how all he wanted was to play with people’s minds. So I decided to go the unconventional look and made a dress based off of scuba diving. I have this new project coming up that might be my favorite. It's a corvette jacket. I like my clothes to help people stand out.

15. Do you see yourself trying to continue with your brand when you are out of school or do you see yourself getting another job in fashion?

I see myself getting another job because I want the experience before I start my own thing. I want to learn as much as I can before I start my design or company. I also want to meet as many people in the industry before I expand on my ideas and share them with the world. 

16. If you could give advice to anyone trying to start a business similar to yours or go into fashion design, what would it be?

I say just shoot at your designs. You’re always going to be figuring out what’s good and what’s not. I feel like at the end of the day just do it. Who cares what people think just be yourself and do your thing. 

17. If you weren’t studying Fashion Design what would you be studying?

I actually came to school to study business but I didn’t get in. But fashion design was my back up. I was going to play it safe by being a business major because my dad is in business so it was probably the best option. 

Yianni Binaris is a second-year fashion design student, who before coming to Syracuse did not even know how to thread a needle. However, in the past two years that has quickly changed. Despite Yianni being only one of three guys in the fashion design program at Syracuse, he is a major representative and has even gotten to experience New York Fashion Week. Over his time in the program, Yianni has dedicated an immense amount of time to improving his skills and in doing so he has been able to sell some of his personality made merchandise known under the brand name Treeasun. Yianni is passionate about continuing with fashion after graduation and growing his brand and skills over the next two years. 

[recipereruns]

#TBT Recipe - ‘Perfect Skate Night When You Go to Skate King with Your Christian Friend’

By the time I was seven I was an accomplished driveway and garage roller skater, but I’d yet to go to a rink. I started with blue plastic skates with laces that you fit over your shoe like a plastic Birkenstock with wheels. After I outgrew those, I moved on to the metal adjustable ‘skate’ that covered your shoe – like a shoe store foot measuring device with wheels.

I wanted boot skates, with a pom-pom. For my seventh birthday, I almost got my wish. I picked up a very heavy box and thought, ‘Jesus Christ, this better not be another rock painting kit from my Canadian relatives.’  I ripped open the paper and saw on the box that it was a pair of white boot skates with blue laces!  They did have metal wheels rendering them bullshit on the wet asphalt of the Pacific Northwets (NOT a typo). So I spent hours in the garage skating round I and round in circles  to Grease, Xanadu and oddly, Jim Croce.

Then one day one of my classmates invited me to join her family for their Christian youth group at Skate King! Finally, I was going to skate in an actual rink in stakes with rubber wheels worn by hundreds of other people before me!  Plus, I would get to hang out with a group of these elusive Christians. My Christian friend was a tow head blond with an entirely blond family that I found fascinating. Coming from an all Catholic family with largely dark coloring, I deduced, as only a six year old could, that distinction between  Christians’ and Catholics is based on hair color.

In my mind, Christians were a bright, bubbly group that did things like Sunday school for kids and  roller skating on a school night. When Catholics a bunch of bored, dark haired people suffered through MASS from cradle to the grave PLUS and an additional hour of after school religious education called CCD and rewarded with a circle of particle board placed on your tongue.

I spent all week planning my Christian Skate Night outfit. As an homage to a Linda Ronstadt album, I dressed in a blue satin jacket and jeans with a roller skate with practical  laces on the butt. Meth Mom, on hiatus, was entertaining our old friend and former meth runner, the Avon Lady.   Not sure what to do with their hands, they anxiously cross-stitched as they reminisced about near-busts, near deaths and ‘all those missing teeth!’ When the Roller Skating Christians came to pick me up, Meth Mom goes to her purse and sees she has no cash to give me. The Avon Lady gives me a $10 bill as she and Meth Mom chuckle about all the cash they USED to have.

Skate King was a magical place with carpet covered benches, seizure inducing lights and an endless supply of concession for purchase. I was not given any directives with the money I had brought, but it was burning a hole in my roller skate clad pocket, so I treated me and my Christian friend to a cotton candy. Then a soda. Then a spin around the rink to ‘Heart of Glass’ followed by French fries. Then more cotton candy. Then it got dark and a slow song came on --- and there we people holding hands and skating.  

In subsequent years, the couples skate or “Snowball’ as this 1980’s mating ritual was called in our region, would illicit a Pavlovian panic as soon as the lights dimmed and ‘Endless Love’ started to play.  The girls would line up against the walls like chattel while the boys would skate around the middle and ‘point’ at the girl they wanted to skate with.  I would wait, palms sweating, hair frizzing for my crush to ask me to skate, when in the end it was going to be one of my little brother’s friends. F*&k my life.

For that evening, our focus was on candy. We took that slow song break to change the dollars into quarters and spend the rest of the Avon Lady’s money on about $4 worth of sour balls and other vending machine treats.  Soon the Christians gathered us up to take my Catholic ass home.  

I left thinking Skate King was my favorite place on earth; my favorite pastime, favorite songs and unlimited treats! Later I learned, when Meth Mom asked me for Avon Lady’s change that apparently I was NOT to have spent all on candy. I also later learned, that the distinction between Catholics and Christians was NOT about hair color! Meth Mom further explained that all Catholics are Christians but not all Christians are Catholics.

BLOW. MY. MIND. I was actually a Christian?!?!  Where the hell was our Skate Night, Catholics??

Sadly, the legendary Skate King closed several years back, here is the recipe for a perfect skate night!

INGREDIENTS:

Blue satin jacket

Jeans with a roller skate with practical laces on the butt pocket

1 Christian friend

1 Christian friend’s family

$10 from your family’s old drug runner

DIRECTIONS:

Take your skates to the round carpet covered seat/bench thing to put them on.

Skate around on the carpet marveling at how much more fun it is than your garage.

Have a minor freak out when ‘Grease’ comes on and rush to the floor.

Marvel again at how much easier this is than scraping over asphalt with metal wheel.

Get cotton candy and a drink.

Skate to Donna Summer.

Buy yourself and your Christian friend some fries and more soda.

Stand by and harshly judge the ‘Snowball’, no doubt created by the patriarchy, wondering why the hell girls can’t be the ones to skate around and point?

Keep this going all through your childhood before you have  grown a chest that is the equivalent weight of a Mr. T jewelry collection, and you can no longer balance on wheels.