#anonnn i don't have much time but i hope what i wrote makes sense

[theharrowing]

Omg!! I'm the Blue Boy anon (the one that reread it for 3 times!!). I'm so glad you replied hehe. If you don't mind, I want to share my thoughts and insights:

1. After re reading Boy Blue, I wonder if Tae's jealousy (on y/n's refusal to tell him the truth about her first kiss w/yoongi) was real or not. On my 2nd read, I was so sure it was planned but on my 3rd, I'm not so sure anymore since Tae's goal imo is to trap y/n in his (and whoever else is his cronies') life

2. I am convinced that y/n having her phone back is 100% planned. I just KNEW in my heart something was wrong the first time I read it; like aint no way the guy with intense posessiveness can just.... give y/n's phone back

3. Yoongi's depressed episodes after running away with y/n must be his erraticness / anxiety being separated from Tae. I just can't see it any other way, and I am convinced jimin and jhope is on it, maybe on different levels than yoongi but i KNOW these bitched sus af.

4. I love how all the smut scenes with y/n has this aura of almost anxiety. Like just the way you write it; idk how to explain it. On the other hand, sex scenes in Collateral is a relief like- it's almost calming (?) Despite the mafia life because yoongi and namjoon are tender and soft and sweet and loyal (also jk!). Idk how you did it but every sex scenes in boy blue made me feel like y/n is walking towards doom (and was i right!)

5. I hope i dont over analyze it too much, but I think at some point I understood why y/n is tae's "target". I think it was when she felt very down and sort of reflected on herself that she didnt really have anyone else, except for Tae. I just felt that... y/n is also the type of person that could easily be lured in / trapped in someone's world--she was fine with JK and her 1 (one) best friend. I feel pity but also this sense of inevitableness on her part. Idk if its intentional but I sense it that way.

I AM SO SORRY I ENDED UP WRITING TOO MUCH. YOU DONT HAVE TO RESPONSE TO ALL THESE POINTS I JUST WANT TO SHARE!!

Fun question: did y/n ever had a chance against Tae and people like Tae? I have a gut feeling that she'd probably end up in similar situations, with varying degrees (ie having a controlling partner)

ANONNN HELLO HELLO HELLO WELCOME BACK!!! 😍💙🥰

going to tuck this under a read more because of spoilers hehe.

1. the "jealousy" of mc liking Yoongi is meant to feel hard to determine and, when i wrote the scenes, i imagined Taehyung was jealous often. because he wanted to have more control over the situation. like, Yoongi making a move was definitely planned, but Taehyung keeping the screen grabs from the recordings of them in the hallways was a sign of his jealousy, in part because he couldn't see what really happened. he would have been less angry if they had kissed on camera where he could judge every little detail about it, you know?

2. Taehyung definitely found a way to break her screen, and he absolutely gave it back to her with software on it to track what she was doing. this was even before Yoongi was in the picture at all, like he was already being really possessive.

3. you're right about Yoongi's erratic behavior, but Hoseok and Jimin are completely innocent!!! they didn't know Taehyung before and Yoongi wouldn't have been able to confide about someone like him. even he at least has the moral compass to know that they would be too kind to accept a man like Taehyung. when Yoongi is not really around in the final chapter, he's with Taehyung, making sure he's ok, etc. and this is part of why Yoongi more or less allows mc to confide in/get close to Hoseok. i imagine a part of him even wants her to choose Hoseok because it allows a clean break to happen where Yoongi doesn't see her continue to get hurt and he and Taehyung can keep each other all to themselves (until White Lies, of course, hehe.) Yoongi saw mc absolutely lose her shit in the basement, and there is a part of him that actually does feel really bad about it.

4. the smut scenes with Taehyung absolutely have a sense of anxiety. there's even one scene (maybe the second time they have sex?) where mc is overwhelmed and telling him to stop and he doesn't. and i don't know how many people picked up on that, but i think only one or two people have commented on it. i'm glad the collateral smut scenes don't feel the same way (maybe with the exception of chapter 20 haha) i want them to feel comforting and happy.

part of the boy blue smut scenes that i really tried to nail home without coming out and saying it, was that Taehyung had spent so much time watching how Jungkook fucked her that he was able to perform exactly the way she likes. so, for that reason alone, it should feel uncomfortable, because he should not know exactly what she likes. usually, people enjoy discovering that together and he is just going in and doing it exactly to her specifications.

5. Taehyung definitely went after mc because she was vulnerable and naïve. and also kind of to fuck with Jungkook (Seokjin's little brother.)

i think that if boy blue mc had never met Taehyung, she would not have ended up in such a shit situation. she was already on her way to reading red flags of behavior she found intolerable (Jungkook being jealous) and if she had ended up fucking around with Hana sooner, their fight probably would have never happened (but maybe Hana would have found some other reason to be angry with her, idk.) she was kind of just stuck in the unfortunate circumstance of thinking Taehyung was a good guy because she was not yet over how much the relationship with Jungkook began to wear her down. and it took her too long to realize what Taehyung was up to because he had been studying her for so long that he was able to remain several steps ahead.

but idk, she was naïve and inexperienced, but i hate to say "she would have been in a shitty situation regardless" even about a fictional character because it feels like victim blaming, you know? like, Taehyung was just too advanced in his games but nobody else would have been able to get away with what he did, if that makes sense.

okay haha i have also once again written too much, but i hope this helps!!!! feel free to keep the conversation going if you have more questions/comments!!!