#anna's unpopular opinions on ben solo

[benperorsolo]

Don't do the first one I messed up lmao okay so heisaki and zutara for 001, ben solo for 002 and for 003 zuko, aang, sokka, katara, toph

001. (heisaki)

when I started shipping it if I did:

I honestly don’t even remember. I usually don’t start shipping couples as I watch a show, but after when I’m looking for fanfic to distract me from my schoolwork. So sometime after finishing S1.

my thoughts:

Heisaki pretty much caters to every grossly trash thing I like in ships: enemies to lovers, preferably with some kickass woman and some super-evil looking masked dude with Secret Depths and Softness™ (I know I’m garbage okay I’ve made my peace), where Sad Angry Scary Dude is shown affection from someone who believes in their goodness more than they’re disgusted by their evil, and Strong But Soft Woman discovers tenderness and support in the unlikeliest of  places.

What makes me happy about them:

All of the above, and also the way they cycle through various identities with each other in canon, the way canon teases them as people who would make an amazing team if they weren’t pawns for organizations bigger than themselves. The way both of them are uncompromising in their work but have secret private vulnerabilities. The way both of them love the stars. 

What makes me sad about them:

The way canon bastardized Misaki in the second season into being obsessed with catching Hei because of her weird unresolved feelings for him. But not in a cool or respectful way; just in a way that made Misaki into a lovesick waif whose personality completely went out the window. 

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Mostly when Hei becomes to emotional or emotionally honest with Misaki without a lot of buildup, considering he’s been emotionally constipated for going on a decade now and for reasons that involved not dying. Likewise when Misaki turns into a damsel to be saved.

things I look for in fanfic:

Some sort of clear ideological friction between the two of them; Misaki’s discovery of the Black Reaper’s identity and/or interacting with the Black Reaper in person. 

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

No one? Hei’s other options are Amber, a ship which I find interesting as something in Hei’s past but not one I would endgame bc abusive, and Yin, who is mentally basically a child and it feels like pedophilia.

My happily ever after for them:

Haaaa the grossly indulgent Office AU. Hei becomes a contractor working with Section 4, develops a little friend/family unit with Section 4 and astronomics; he and Misaki get married; Hei reconnects with his family in China; Hei and Misaki have a little girl named Seiko and it’s gr9. Everything is beautiful and occasionally hurts but never, y’know, forever.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Hei, probably. But it could vary. They’re just about equal in height so there’s no reason one should be the big spoon over the other.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

Stargazing.

001. zutara

when I started shipping it if I did:

Don’t even remember. Sometime after finishing Book 3, I think. 

my thoughts:

Gold standard ship. The ship I keep shipping in other fandoms, just in different iterations. The ying-yang, ‘you rise with the moon, I rise with the sun’ way they complement each other, and yet at their cores are so similar: highly driven, compassionate, passionate people who are proven in battle to make a great team.

What makes me happy about them:

The way their relationship beautifully unfolded over three seasons of mortal enemies, to maybe-allies (and then would-be-ally and traitor), to allies and friends. The way each season of ATLA ends with a fight between them; the first two against each other, and the last one with each other. The way they are safe places for the other— Katara confiding to him in the crystal caves, and again about her mother in Southern Raiders; Zuko confiding to Katara about his fear of facing his uncle, and Katara’s reassurance, and then the way Zuko took Katara with her to fight Azula because he knew he needed a steadfast ally he could trust.

What makes me sad about them:

The way Bryke have insulted the ship over the years, calling it too ‘dark and mysterious’ for Nick, but then fucked up all of the canon relationships in ATLA by having their kids have extremely dysfunctional relationships with their parents, or just making the relationships straight-up dysfunctional coughMaikocough 

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

When Katara gets the Mary Sue Strong Independent Woman treatment, or when she becomes some helpless crying waif (usually Book 1 kidnapping fics, which can be good, okay, they can), and likewise when Zuko post-redemption is still a jerkass. I mean he can still be a jerk, but he’s not a jerkass.

things I look for in fanfic:

I’ll read almost anything. I like S1 fic (typically Zuko captures Katara, and Katara takes none of his shit, and then TEAMWORK HAPPENS), s2 fic where crotchety I-once-did-something-good-and-gave-myself-a-coma Zuko and Katara are forced to work together in lovehate, and post-s3 Western Air Temple fics where Zuko has to earn Katara’s forgiveness. 

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

No one lmao. I’m not a multishipper.

My happily ever after for them:

Fire Lord Zuko and Fire Lady Katara rule the Fire Nation in peace and harmony and are happy, the end.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Zuko’s the big spoon.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

Sparring.

002. Ben Solo

How I feel about this character:

ALL THE THINGS. I LOVE MY BOYFRIENDSON BEN SKYWALKER-ORGANA-SOLO.

More seriously— I love how he’s desperate for villainy, and yet cannot achieve it no matter how hard he tries. I love that this is a character who has to pray away the Light within him. I love how even after killing his father, the Light still won’t go away. I love that he is the beloved son of one of the most loved couples in cinematic history, related in a significant way to almost everyone in the prequels, OT, and sequels. I love that he effectively flips the conflict of the original films, wherein the fallen father is saved by the goodness of his son, and now it is the fallen son who will be saved (mark my words) by his father. I love the angst inherent in watching this character, who was practically born to be a hero, do everything he can to shirk his destiny and ensure his Darkness, and yet fall short. And most of all, I love the possibility (inevitability) of his redemption. I love the idea of getting to explore what redemption looks like when you don’t die before its completion, like Anakin. I love the idea of Ben realizing that his father did save him after all; of getting to smile at his uncle again;  of getting to hug his mother again; of it hurting so much— the hurt of a healing wound, at last, and not the hurt of the Dark Side. Of Ben getting to reclaim the person he might have been, had Snoke and misfortune and his own hamartia not found him, so that he no longer has to hide behind a false name and a mask, but can finally as himself face the sun, unafraid. Ben Solo means a lot to me. Maybe the hypotheticals of his character more than what we have now. But I honestly think that my strange compassion for this fake person has made me a better person. Because, if I can sit here and rail for his redemption no matter his sins— then what excuse do I have not to try to become a better person myself?

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Rey the bae all the way.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

BenPoe/Knightpilot, especially involving them as childhood friends, and Poe having to come to terms with Ben, who he was, and who he is, after Ben defects back to the Resistance. Some of my favorite character pieces to this end are This Thing of Darkness I Acknowledge Mine and Orbital Period. Also the BenPoe fandom are pretty much the nicest people ever?

My unpopular opinion about this character:

The fact that I like him is probably an unpopular opinion. 

Okay okay my real unpopular opinion (ESSAY AHOY) is my insistence of Kylo Ren’s true name still being Ben Solo (ofc you know this is a thing with me bc you very diplomatically asked me to talk about ‘Ben Solo’ and not ‘Kylo Ren’ in your ask lmao, and you know I call him ‘Ben’ just like I call Vader ‘Anakin’— practically always, in both cases, because it’s for the same reason). Kylo Ren is a shadow archetype, an alter ego, a mask and a costume— the thing Ben is trying desperately to become and yet never will, not only because he failed so horribly at being a proper villain in TFA (going for Rey instead of the droid; not torturing the bejeezus out of Rey immediately; feeling immediate regret after killing his father, not pushing Rey off a cliff during their fight when he had the chance, and then losing to her), but because it’s just how Star Wars works. It’s the same with Anakin and Vader— as Luke says to Vader in ROTJ, ‘[Anakin] is the name of your true self; you’ve only just forgotten,’ and ultimately Luke is proven right. Throughout canon, the Dark Side is depicted as a corruption of your true self; a warping of who you really are. Your Dark Side is not your authentic self, it’s a gross imitation, and whatever you call yourself under the thrall of the Dark Side is not your true name either. This is how it functioned for Anakin/Vader in the OT; and how it was for Galen Marek/Starkiller in the EU. Your Dark Side name is your slave name. It’s just another mask; a type of verbal disassociation— another way to remove yourself from the reality of what you’re really doing and what you have become. There is also the gross, skeevy observation that Anakin was given the name Vader by Palpatine, the creep who groomed him, and it’s not a difficult leap to assume that Snoke, the creep who groomed Ben in utero, gave Ben the name Kylo Ren. It is canon that Snoke has forbidden the name ‘Ben Solo’ to be spoken by anyone in the First Order, including Ben. But who the hell knows that Kylo Ren is Ben? It’s treated as an extreme secret, and currently I’d say the number is limited to Snoke, Hux, and Ben himself. So who is Snoke really forbidding from saying the name Ben Solo? Ben. He’s forbidding Ben. He’s giving Ben a gag order on his own name— which should immediately ring your bells as being sketchy AF for OBVIOUS REASONS, including but not limited to the fact that you only forbid people from doing things you know they are in danger of doing. If Ben were really completely dead, if he were really Kylo Ren all the way down, then what is Snoke afraid of? All of this to say, it annoys the everlasting and eternal fuck out of me when I see fics or headcanons where a redeemed Ben does not go back to that name, because then to me it represents a person who is still hiding behind the verbal equivalent of a mask. It would be like a redeemed Anakin still going by the name Darth Vader. It’s watching a man stand by the name of his abuse. It stands in literal opposition of everything a true redemption symbolizes, especially in Star Wars, and it’s gross gross gross I hate it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

A REDEMPTION ARC BITCHESSS

my OTP:

Reylo. Okay technically Reyben. But yeah. More recently I’ve become obsessed with the idea of them as parents, because it would be such a beautiful capstone for them both. Rey, lonely, orphan Rey, finally having a family of her own. Rey being terrified of motherhood, because she can’t even remember her mother. Rey feeling that fierce, wolfish upwelling of maternal protectiveness for the first time and knowing she wouldn’t trade it for the world. Ben, terrified of making the mistakes his parents made with him; Ben, terrified of his past poisoning his children’s future. Ben, now a father, realizing the sort of unbreakable love that let his own father walk out on that bridge knowing he might die, and still taking the chance on his child. Ben, looking at the bundle in his arms and knowing he’d do the same. asdfghjkl;

my cross over ship:

Ben Solo x happiness, probably. I know it’s a wild concept.

a headcanon fact:

Ben is naturally good at pazaak and other gambling/card games. It’s one of the few roguish/smugglerish things he has in common with Han. Poe, Finn, and Rey always accuse him of using the Force to cheat, but he never does. During sessions of strip Pazaak (Poe’s idea), Poe, Finn, and Rey will be almost completely naked while Ben sits across the table fully clothed.

003. zuko, aang, katara, sokka, toph

1. zuko

2. aang

3. katara (tied w/ aang but just for overall character arc aang’s affects me more powerfully)

4. sokka

5. toph