#and. i mean. it's weird to say. but maybe the book got the kelly thing wrong. it got wrong that the one potential's name was anabellE not

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Back to an earlier point about Buffy Season 7 having way too many Potential Slayers, tbh, last night I learned that there was a Colleen and Caridad who also became full-fledged Slayers and survived the battle of the Hellmouth.

And in reading the "Chosen" novelization, I remembered the Potential "Shannon," and in Googling her, I guess she survived, as well.

I feel like when people are talking about the Potentials who survived season 7 as full Slayers, we always talk about Kennedy, Vi, Rona, and Chao-Ahn (but I think even Chao-Ahn is sometimes forgotten about), but I've never seen anyone mention Caridad, Colleen, or Shannon.

There are also some unnamed ones who made it, too:

[5sospenguinqueen]

Bedtime Stories Pt 2 | Daniel Ricciardo x Author! Reader

Summary: Daniel made a silly little comment that lost him everything. Over a year later, he tries his hardest to fix his mistakes.

Warnings: Swearing. A tiny smidge of angst but mainly fluff. Redemption for Daniel.

Female reader with various faceclaims (pics found on pinterest). Takes place in 2023. For the purpose of this, Daniel has been with AlphaTauri the whole time.

Main Masterlist

prev.

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28•05•2023

danielricciardo just posted

liked by redbullracing, YourUserName and others

danielricciardo monaco, always a delight. P11. so close to the points but racing through your streets feels like being on a podium

4,337 comments

landonorris and whose attention are we trying to grab with that sexy last pic 👀

→ danielricciardo only yours, mate 

→ User1 don’t act like you’re not dying inside because y/n liked this 

→ User2 relax, they never unfollowed each other 🙄

maxverstappen1 you’ll get them next time, mate

→ danielricciardo fancy giving me a tow?

→ maxverstappen1 never

→ User3 i love their friendship so much

User4 um, did anyone see that y/n liked and then unliked this post 

→ User5 omg yes! sis was caught stalking and we love her for it 

→ User6 i too would thirst over my ex if he looked like that 

kellypiquet we were watching the whole time

liked by danielricciardo

→ User7 what a weird comment to make?

→ User8 who’s we, kelly? 

→ User9 what does this mean? 

 

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04•06•2023

Tweet 1

User10 @ kikiki babe did you hit your head? is that why you were in the ER? they broke up

User11 @ kikiki maybe ask them to do a head scan whilst you're there 'cause ain't no way you saw here there

→ User12 literally. like why would she even be in spain right now?

Tweet 2

User11 i think we might have to apologise to @ kikiki

→ User10 can we really trust the wag page though? They did report that Lando was having a secret love child the other week..?

Tweet 3

User13 asking the real questions because she's not even hinted that she’s been writing so it’s not like she’s on a book tour or anything?

→ User14 some people are saying she could be on vacation but please, why would mother choose a holiday destination during a time that she knows is a GP?

User15 guys, guys, I think our sacrifice circle worked 

→ User16 please, please, 🕯️🕯️

User 17 how poetic would it be though if they got back together  during the spanish GP when they broke up at the spanish GP a year ago 

User18 shouldn’t you know these answers, and that she was in spain, if you're her so-called updates page

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22•08•2023

YourUserName just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and others

YourUserName some big news approaching 

6,349 comments

kellypiquet i can’t wait, my beautiful girl 

→ YourUserName thank you for being my #1 support

→ kellypiquet thank you for letting me help plan

→ User1 what does this mean? 

→ User2 miss piquet stop being so cryptic on socials 

maxverstappen1 i’m very excited 

→ YourUserName did kelly force you to write that because i could feel the excitement oozing through the screen

→ maxverstappen1 i wanted to say something worse 

→ YourUserName i hope she leaves you

→ kellypiquet behave, you two! 

→ User3 i live for max and y/n terrorising each other, even without danny ric being around to encourage it

bloomsburypublishing we look forward to the end result

User4 i’m sorry but is this a soft launch?

User5 who is that in the last slide, miss y/n?

→ User6 the inspiration behind a new romance we hope

User7 don’t be shy. tag him 

User8 soft launches have recently become my least favourite thing

charles_leclerc are you perhaps writing my next plane read

→ YourUserName depends how long the flight is 

→ User9 confirmation of a new book ya’ll!! everyone say thank you charles

User10 i like to be edged by her books, not by her hiding her man

User11 don't try and distract us with news of a new book, we wanna know who the feet belong to!

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01•09•2023

danielricciardo just posted

liked by maxverstapen1, yukitsunoda0511 and others

danielricciardo ciao a tutti. lovely sightseeing in beautiful Italy

6,445 comments

User12 you’re telling me that i’m currently in the same country as THE daniel ricciardo?

kellypiquet i’m still trying to recover from that hike

→ User13 kelly and max went on a double date with daniel and the new girl?!

→ User14 omg please be y/n. i can’t imagine kelly agreeing to it otherwise

User15 i know he's trying to distract us with his beauty but we see the last slide, daniel. we see it

pierregasly so you’re telling me that you were in milan and didn’t bother to come and see me? that’s it. i'm ending our friendship

→ danielricciardo i’m sorry, mate. i was doing more important things

→ pierregasly clearly ;)

User16 someone check on y/n, please

→ User17 babe is clearly having the time of her life in italy (yes, i'm delusional)

User18 does nobody find it odd that he’s posting a soft launch not long after y/n posted a soft launch

→ User19 i know! it’s only been three weeks since hers and he’s posting one

→ User20 i can’t decide whether they’re soft launching each other or he’s trying to make her jealous by flaunting a new relationship as well

→ User21 it HAS to be each other or i will die

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15•10•2023

lando.jpg just posted

liked by YourUserName, danielricciardo and others

lando.jpg so i attended this event… and no, it’s not mine before you all freak out

8,223 comments

charles_leclerc it was a beautiful day ❤️

alexandrasaintmleux i’m so thankful to have been a part of such wonderful memories

kellypiquet the most beautiful bride i have ever seen

maxverstappen1 this was a nicer caption than i expected from you

→ danielricciardo agreed

→ landonorris i take offence to that

User1 guys do we think kelly and max got married? they’ve both comments on this?

→ User2 yes but so did charles and alex so…

→ User3 plus, i know kelly is stunning but do we really think she would call herself the most beautiful bride in 3rd person?

georgerussell63 i’m surprised you remember much after the state you were in

→ landonorris excuse you but most of that was just pure happiness

hulkhulkenberg an amazing day

estebanocon so happy to have been a part of this

alex_albon how’s the hangover, mate

→ landonorris i didn’t drink that much!

→ georgerussell63 tell that to the bouquet that you puked on

→ landonorris i caught it so it was mine anyway

carlossainz55 beautiful photos. she’ll love those

→ User4 who’s she?!

lewishamilton🤍🩵

fernandoalo_official congratulations to the happy couple

User5 the entire grid are commenting on this post, clearly having been in attendance. who IS IT?

pierregasly c’était une belle mariée

liked by YourUserName

User6 guys, y/n’s name on socials just changed from y/l/n to ricciardo

liked by danielricciardo

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03•04•2024

YourUserName just posted with danielricciardo

liked by kellypiquet, maxverstappen1 and others

YourUserName my husband helped with this project. baby ric coming aug 2024

9,550 comments

kellypiquet you will be the most beautiful mother. i’m so honoured to be part of this with you 💕

→ YourUserName stop you’re going to make me cry. you’ll be the most perfect godmother

→ kellypiquet i still think you should've married me instead

maxverstappen1 i call godfather

→ landonorris no you don’t get to call godfather! you already got to be a groomsman

→ maxverstappen1 yeah because who helped get them back together

→ YourUserName kelly

→ danielricciardo me

→ YourUserName no, babe

danielricciardo and before you all ask, no I haven’t stopped crying since she told me

→ kellypiquet me too, dan, me too

maxverstappen1 on a serious note, i am very happy for the two of you. y/n will be a wonderful mother, and daniel, he’ll be there also

charles_leclerc i am so excited. alex keeps telling me to stop buying baby things for you guys but i just don’t listen

→ YourUserName well at least you can safely say that uncle charl bought little mcqueen’s love

→ User7 uncle charl!!!!

lewishamilton congratulations, you two. y/n looks amazing

fernandoalo_official how lovely 💚

User8 omg it WAS their wedding lando attended!!!!!

hulkhulkenberg baby ricciardo!!

pierregasly congratulations. i can’t wait to be uncle GASSLYYYYYY

alex_albon welcome baby ricciardo

→ lilymhe it’s not an alien, alex. you don’t have to greet it so formally

redbullracing we’re all so excited for the upcoming grid baby. working on a racer stroller right this minute

→ mclaren you stole our gift idea!

→ redbullracing you stole our driver!

carlossainz55 congratulations y/n and daniel 😄

mercedesamgf1 what wonderful news 🍼

landonorris i’m just so glad i can go back to calling you mum and dad without daniel wanting to drive his car into the barrier

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Please don’t hate me for this! I did say from the beginning that Part 2s would be redemption.

I’ve had this planned and written since before Part 1 was published so when half of you then asked for her to get with another driver/move on, I was like noooooo I’ve already planned their baby 😂

As always. Requests welcome. If you have requested, I promise I’m not ignoring it, it’s been added to my queue

Baby Fever Angst Series

Tag list

@bibissparkles @barcelonaloverf1life @rlalliehayes @dullypully @softtina @callsignwidow @lav3nder-haze @minkyungseokie @luvrrish @fall-bambi @evans-dejong @sadsierra2 @justdreamersdream @spookystitchery @dark-night-sky-99 @majusialikesfastcars @luckyladycreator2 @bborra @mrosales16 @reguluscrystals @tvdtw4ever @alwaysclassyeagle @gigicisneros @spanishcorndogs @thecubanator2 @goldenharrysworld @awritingtree @jxnellat @sbrn0905 @hc-dutch @buckybarnessweetheart @ironmaiden1313 @dreamercrowd @yourbane @reguluscrystals @peachiicherries @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @weekendlusting @leclercsluvs @hannannannannannah @lifeless-firefly @sinofwriting @exotic-iris13 @imperfect-paragon @dan3avocado @barcelonaloverf1life @avillagesperson @hard4ndsoft @justzluv @laneyspaulding19 @danielshoe @chocolatefanunknown @redcrescentmoons

Sorry if I missed anyone!

[hannahssimblr]

The lights are still on in the mobile, and the windows glow warm yellow through the gauzy blinds. The silence of the late evening is punctuated only by the chirping of insects in the grass, and the crunch of our feet upon it. Long weeks under the sun have left it dry and crisp underfoot, though footfall has worn it away to dust and dirt around the steps to the veranda. 

“Mister Turner, is that you there?” I jump as a voice cuts through the darkness. At first I didn’t notice anybody there, but Shane’s mother sits on a deck chair with a novel on her lap looking at me with a curious tilt of her head. A little citrine candle lights up the pages of her book and fills the air with the smell of lemons. 

“Hello Caroline,” I clear my throat, hit with a strong urge to be extremely polite, “How are you this evening?”

“I’m well, thank you,” she says, “Is this your new girlfriend?”

“No,” I glance at Clóda who is looking at anything but me. “She’s just come with me to get something of Shane’s. Um, would you mind if we go inside to get it?”

She peers at us, “Are ye all hanging about down on the beach?”

“Yeah.”

“Not getting up to anything your mother wouldn’t like to hear about I hope.”

I shake my head, “No, Caroline,” though she and I both know that she’d never tell my mother anything. All the other mothers avoid mine at the coffee shop when they see her and say things about how odd she is when they think I’m safely out of earshot, but they’re all like this, even her peers back home in Clontarf. It'd be more surprising to me if they were friendly to her.

She waves us away and goes back to her book, “Go ahead in, so, if you know what you’re looking for.”

Before I go inside Caroline stops me with a hand on mine, “C’mere to me,” she says very quietly, “Would you do me a favour when you’re in there?”

She pulls me close to her face, “Would you ever go in and ask Kelly if she wants to go and hang out with ye all?”

“Um… Kelly?”

“She’s not really mixing with the other young people, she’s on her own a lot and I think all she needs is someone like you to ask her to go out and hang about with you. She won’t listen to me when I tell her, so don’t tell her it was me who asked. I’m just worried about her cooped up in there all evening watching the telly or whatever she’s doing.”

I shrug, “Okay, if you want.”

She gives my hand a satisfactory pat, “Thank you Jude, I think it’d mean the world to her just to be asked, especially by such a nice boy as yourself.”

“Yeah, of course, no problem.”

Shane’s room is our first destination, and we set about digging half a dozen bottles from beneath his bed. I don’t know where he got these or for how long he’s hidden them here, but I don’t suppose that alcohol really goes bad, nor are we in any position to be picky about it even if it did. 

Clóda’s curiosity gets the better of her as I’m underneath the bed frame, “Who’s Kelly?” 

“Shane’s little sister,” I say quietly so that my voice doesn’t penetrate these notoriously thin walls. “I dunno what her story is. She never really talks to us.”

“Oh, well, do you think it’s a bit weird that her mam is telling you to hang out with her?”

“Yeah a bit, but let’s not tell anyone that maybe. I think it’d be embarrassing if everyone knew, don’t you?”

“Mm. Maybe.”

I swipe a layer of dust off my t-shirt and begin putting several bottles into the pockets of my cargo shorts. I work slowly and carefully so that none of them clink together and cause enough noise to raise Caroline’s suspicions. There are two left. “Do you have space for any?” Clóda looks down at her skimpy outfit with pockets that wouldn’t even fit a quarter of her own hands. “Right, never mind.” I shove them into the waistband of my shorts and head back into the hallway. 

“That’s Kelly’s room,” I whisper, and we hover awkwardly around the door for several long moments. 

I raise my fist and knock. 

A voice comes from within. “What?”

“Uh…Hi, do you-”

“Ugh! Shane. If this is about the DS, I told you it’s my turn on it today and I’m having it, so you can piss off away from my door, and-” She flings it open to see me and Clóda instead, and her face drains of colour. “Oh God.”

I don’t know what comes over me, but the sight of her there with her curly hair sticking up around her face, wearing hot pink floral matching pyjamas makes a laugh explode from me. And not one of my normal laughs, but a high pitched squawk. Her eyes boggle in horror and she blinks once. Twice before she manages; “Wha- um, I’m sorry, but what the actual hell are you doing here?”

I stuff my knuckles into my mouth, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Jesus, Kelly, I’m not, um, laughing at you really, you just looked so surprised, and… in those pyjamas and everything.”

She looks down at herself as though she can’t believe she’s even wearing them, like they’ve appeared on her body without her knowledge. She looks at Clóda then and almost turns the same colour as them. “Everything else is in the wash! God! Did Shane send you here to play another stupid prank on me?”

“No, it’s- We were here to get something but then we were uh, we were wondering if you want to come and hang out with us. We’re down on the dunes near the surf shack.”

“Why would you want me to go there?”

“I dunno, in case you wanted to. I just thought I’d be nice and ask.”

I can’t tell if she’s shocked or furious, or something in between, “I’m sorry, you’ve come here to be nice? Do you think I was born yesterday? Why do you think I would want to go anywhere with you?”

“I don’t know. If you were bored or something or if you wanted company.”

“Yeah, okay. Well I’m not that bored, thank you very much.”

“Oh yeah? Where are your friends tonight?”

She baulks. “Busy. Just like me,” and I peer into the tiny twin room behind her to see just a half empty bag of popcorn and a Nintendo DS on one of the beds. “Wow, yeah I can see that.”

“Leave me alone please.”

“Yeah, fine.”

After she slams the flimsy door in our faces I look at a shell shocked Clóda and shrug. That’s classic Kelly. She’s not been right with me since I put a frog in her hair two summers ago. 

“She’s nice, isn’t she?” I mutter to her as we pass through the tiny kitchen. She snorts into her elbow, and this moment seems to dissolve the tension between us, “Oh God,” She says, “Yes she’s a real delight, I definitely wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of her.” 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[fulfillingbineeds]

misfits rewatch- 1x1 thoughts & rambles

-Alisha checking out Simon in the welcome to CS scene 👀 maybe there's always been an attraction lmao

-Every time the word freak gets mentioned, it pans to Simon 😭

-When the storm hits, Simon immediately with his phone out lol

-My DVD subtitles keep putting Simon: when Nathan's talking, and it's really bugging me lol

-Shame Gary got killed. It would've been interesting to see what would play out with the others and their dynamics. I think the others would've subconsciously paired him and Kelly together cause chavs. I do think if he had gotten a power, it'd have something to do with aggression. Something where it'd affect others, but not with touch like Alisha. For example, if he got irritated or aggressive towards someone, they'd be aggressive and wouldn't stop until Gary chilled himself out. We only see a glimpse of Gary, but we know he has some anger issues. With the others, their powers sort of give them the finger towards their insecurities. So I think Gary having to learn to control his issues or risk death would be a neat storyline... I honestly have a lot of thoughts about this topic; I might make another post.

-This ep, specifically the two scenes where Kelly is trying to see if they've felt weird after the lighting, and Simon's the only one to take it seriously. When he first says something, there's a glint in Kelly's eyes, and at that moment, I feel like Kelly decided that she and Simon have a bond and wants to sort of protect him.

-When Tony's having his freakouts, especially when he's doing it outside close to the rest of them… how can they not hear him??? lol? Maybe it's just because I tend to be hyper-aware of my surroundings, but I'd be bugging from hearing it haha

-God, Alisha's snarky remarks 😫 I miss early season Alisha when she still had flavour and wasn't watered down to girlfriend

-Nathan was so unnecessarily mean to Simon in the first ep. I get it during the second day of CS 'cause Nathan wants to deflect his feelings after his mum kicked him out. This ep really sets the scene for their dynamic, Nathan taking the piss and Simon fighting back (poorly, might I add), which Nathan finds amusing, so he keeps doing it 🙄 lol

-Kelly's really is that girl. Anyone else would've been booking it home rather than warning the others. (Out of the others, I think Simon might have warned them. Curtis, too, but would only do it so he could warn Alisha)

-When everything's going down, and Curtis starts talking about travelling back in time, Simon is clearly interested in the superpower talk… but also freaked out by the possibility of getting murdered.  

-When they find Gary's body and everyone else's reaction is entirely valid, and Simon's just there like 🧍👀🧐…little freak (endearingly)

-I felt so bad for Alisha when her power got discovered. Truly one of the worst powers. Curtis was just trying to comfort her, and then the power makes the already traumatic experience even more so.

-Thank you, misfits writers, for feeling the deep need to make sure Simon has some freaky taste. Thank you 🙏

-Simon and Nathan coming up with the plan.

-Nathan still dwelling on the piss thing when they're burying the bodies lol

-My DVD doesn't have the Lonely Souls montage 😭😭😭 awful

-Iwan's eye acting is phenomenal

-Nathan's giving Simon a little lower back pat when leaving during "if anyone asks; it was a completely normal day" 👀

-"and I ask you, in this world of intolerance and prejudice, who are we? Who are we to condemn them?" Classic. Sally leaving because she's about to sob 😢 and the LOOK Simon gives Nathan after his little monologue oh my god.

-Misfits has such a phenomenal first episode.

[alfvaen]

Novel Score

It's sometime around the beginning of a month, which apparently means these days that it's time for me to do a roundup post of the books I read in the preceding month--in this case, January 2024. Once again have been keeping on top of it during the month which helps me actually produce it in a timely manner. Because I started this back in November/December, doing monthly book posts isn't a New Year's resolution, unless the resolution was just "keep doing it". I'm keeping doing it.

Book list under the cut, book-related ramblings may include spoilers for Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan series, Martha Wells's Murderbot series, Kelly Meding's Dreg City series, and maybe others. You have been warned.

Ashok Banker: Siege of Mithila, completed January 6

As mentioned previously, I am rapidly running out of books by male "diversity" slot authors in my collection. I read the first Ashok Banker book, Prince of Ayodhya, a few years earlier, and was kind of meh on it, so I wasn't sure if I would continue. But I did pick up the other one as a library discard (ah, the days when I got books and CDs as library discards…back when they used to have a sale rack in the local branch all the time, instead of saving them up for periodic bulk sales…) so I hadn't entirely given up on it. So, in not quite desperation, I turned to Siege of Mithila as my next diversity read.

The series is apparently a retelling of the Ramayana, which is some kind of important epic in India, though I can't judge if it's like "the Bible" or "King Arthur" or "The Iliad" or what, but I assume it's somewhere on that level, at least among certain cultures. My brief skimming of the Wikipedia article on the Ramayana implies that Banker is following the story pretty closely, which means that sometimes it gets a little weird plotwise, but is perhaps more revealing culturally or something. And sometimes it's a wee bit problematic…like the way that the main adversary for the first two books is Ravana, lord of the Asuras (basically demons), who rules over the southern island kingdom of Lanka (like…"Sri Lanka"?), which is populated entirely by Asuras. Which is about like if there was a fantasy series set in England where they had to fight evil demons from the western island kingdom of Eire or something. (Wait…do they have those?) One wonders if this series (or the original Ramayana) are quite as popular in Sri Lanka, then…

Anyway, we mostly follow Rama, the titular Prince of Ayodhya from the first book, and his half-brother Lakshman, but a lot of this book is also set back in the palace in Ayodhya following Rama's father the Maharaja, his three wives, and the evil (and hunchbacked--oh look, it's equating deformity with wickedness, that's awesome) witch Manthara as she and Ravana try to sabotage the kingdom from within. Rama and Lakshman end up going to Mithila instead of back to Ayodhya, and foiling a big Asura attack on the city, which comes unbelievably close to the end of the book and is not quite solved by deus ex machina, but doesn't feel particularly satisfying.

One element of the series is that some of the characters are just like ridiculously powerful sages who were like "I've been meditating for 5000 years so I'm really wise and can do anything, though I guess I should let Rama solve a few things on his own to gain some of his own wisdom". Not that this is all that different from, say, Gandalf or Merlin, of course... There are also some odd storytelling choices, like switching to a different set of characters just at a dramatic point in a different storyline, or, in one major side-quest, just skipping the ending of it and coming back to it a couple of chapters later in flashbacks. Also, one character is given important advice by a ghost which he then completely ignores (luckily other people overrule him, but it bugged me).

The book kind of feels like the second book of a trilogy, but not quite, which makes sense because apparently there are eight other books in the series, so it's not just about fighting Ravana and the Asuras. I'm on the bubble about the series, as you may have gathered, so I don't know offhand if I'll be going on.

T. Kingfisher: Clockwork Boys, completed January 9

I paced myself going through Siege of Mithila, taking seven days for it (I started on December 31st to get a little head start), so it put me a bit behind on my Goodreads challenge (100 books for the year, again). This means, time to read some shorter things! I haven't read any T. Kingfisher yet (though I have read, like, the webcomic "Digger" under her real name, Ursula Vernon, if nothing else), so I let my wife, who has read a lot of them, suggest which one I should start with, and this was the one she chose (at the time; it may have been a couple of years ago). We have it as an ebook from Kobo, which sometimes makes it a little hard to tell how long the book actually is in pages, but Goodreads claimed it was under 300 pages, so it seemed a possible three-day read.

I was, I guess, vaguely expecting a steampunk story involving two boys who were made of clockwork or something, but apparently it's more straight fantasy (not too similar to the Ramayana was far as I can tell, though, which is good because I like consecutive reads to vary in genre if at all possible) where the Clockwork Boys are the bad guys. Also, apparently this is the first of a duology, a "long book split in two" duology as opposed to "book and a sequel featuring the same characters" duology.

The characters seem somewhat interesting, though I'm not sure I'm 100% won over. Sir Caliban for some reason reminds me of both Sanderson's Kaladin and Bujold's Cazaril, but maybe it's just the similarity of names enhancing certain similarities of character. And the demons also made me think of Bujold's Penric books. Maybe the tone is a little light for me on this one. We've got the second one as an ebook too, so I'll finish it off at some point and then maybe take a look at Nettle & Bone or something.

Kelly Meding: The Night Before Dead, completed January 12

As I may have also mentioned previously, I've tried a whole lot of urban fantasy series. Many of them, my wife has enjoyed more than I have, and is all caught up on them, but most of those I'm only a few books in. (I've given up on relatively few--Jennifer Estep and Jess Haines, among others.) For whatever reason, my wife didn't like the first book in Kelly Meding's "Dreg City" series, Three Days To Dead, and this time, to be actually clever about it, I decided to read the book myself and decide if I wanted to continue on in the series before it went out of print. As it turned out, I did like the first book, and I kept reading it on my own. When the series got dropped by the publisher after four books, I even went and bought the last two books (self-published, probably print on demand) to finish the series.

So this is the last one, which is supposed to wrap up the main conflict. Our main character, Evy Stone, started out the series waking up after death in a newly-vacated body; she was part of a group that worked to deal with paranormal threats. This world has beast-form shapeshifters named "Theria", vampires, and lots of types of fey--mostly pretty usual when it comes to urban fantasy--and their existence is unknown to world at large, etc.

Thie book does seem to wrap things up well enough, at least for the main characters, though it's hard to say if all the resolutions are satisfying. Still, it was enjoyable enough. She does have a couple of other, shorter series which I can try next, since we do actually own them. (And maybe some stuff under a different name?)

Lois McMaster Bujold: Brothers In Arms, completed January 15

Next (chronologically) in the reread order, this is the one where Miles goes to Earth and discovers the existence of his clone-brother Mark (spoilers). It starts up with a level of frustration--why does Miles have to stay at the embassy, and why aren't his mercenaries getting paid?--but things mostly work out in the end. Ivan shows up again (by authorial fiat--it's a bit too much of a coincidence, really), we meet recurring character Duv Galeni, and of course Mark, as mentioned already. It's not a particular favourite, but it's pretty good. And without it, how would we get Mirror Dance, and thus Memory?

I feel like I should be able to say more about it, but I've already talked about the Vorkosigan series a lot in previous posts, and, like I said, it's not a particular favourite. I guess I could mention how the first time through the series I read them in publication order, and so this was before The Vor Game and Cetaganda… Also, although we don't see much of Earth outside of London, we do get a good look at the gigantic dikes being used to hold back the ocean, because in the intervening mumble-mumble centuries the sea levels have risen. So presumably the icecaps have melted or something, though it doesn't seem like the Gulf Stream has shut down or anything, so maybe they have managed to mitigate things somewhat. An interesting view of future Earth, anyway, without going too overboard on covering the vast majority of the planet not relevant to our immediate plot.

Seth Dickinson: The Traitor Baru Cormorant, completed January 20

Taking another book from my list of authors to try (currently stored on my pool table); I picked this one because apparently the author has a new book coming out, and I do see people talking about the character from time to time, so clearly this is a book/series that has had some staying power and cultural impact, as opposed to something obscure that apparently sank without a trace. But this is a book that my wife tried, and either didn't finish or didn't want to continue the series.

And, having finished it, I can see why. I wouldn't say that it's a bad book…but I didn't, in the end, like it. I read it all the way to the end, and I've decided I'll leave it there and not try to continue the series. And probably I won't look for other books by Dickinson either. Like Ian McDonald's Desolation Road, which I read last year, I felt, as I was reading it, that this was a book I would have liked a lot better when I was younger, but these days it just doesn't do it for me.

It has the feeling of fantasy, in that it's set in a different world from our own, and there is none of the futuristic technology that would explain this as being a colony world…but there is also little or nothing in the way of magic. A little alchemy, maybe, but I don't know that it's out of line with what you could achieve with actual drugs. No wizards, and I don't think there were supernatural creatures either. But it's fantasy-coded, and maybe there's some minor thing I'm forgetting. It's not about magic, though. It's really about colonialism, and what happens when you're sucked into the colonizer's system so far that you think that the only way to help your people is by going along with that system. And Baru Cormorant is somewhat autistic-coded, perhaps--not only is she a savant, but she seems to have trouble figuring out the motives and feelings of others. Puts too much confidence in the ability to explain everything using economics (the character and possibly also the author, quite frankly), in a way which reminds me mostly of Dave Sim's deconstruction of faith and fantasy in Cerebus: Church And State. Not sure if it counts as grimdark, but it feels like the honorable are punished for their naivety like in "A Song of Ice And Fire". I lost sympathy for the main character partway through, and never got much for anyone else either. One character I liked and hoped to see more of was (gratuitously?) killed in the middle of the book. I was forewarned of the existence of a plot twist at the end of the book, and when it came, although I wasn't completely surprised, I was disappointed, and I didn't feel that it worked.

So, yeah. Your mileage may vary, but this book did not win me over.

Charles Stross: The Annihilation Score, completed January 25

I wanted something a bit more light-hearted after the previous book, but not, apparently, too much so. Charles Stross's "Laundry Files" series is set against a backdrop of cosmic horror and the looming end of the world, but also of British governmental bureaucracy, out of which he can usually pull of a fair amount of humour, as well as humanity. The main protagonist of the series is Bob Howard (named in honour of Robert E. Howard, inventor of Conan and friend of Lovecraft), computational demonologist, and the books in turn have paid tribute to a lot of different sources--James Bond, vampires, American evangelical megachurches, and--in this book--superheroes. But also, in this book, Bob is not our narrator; instead, we get his wife, Mo, in the fallout of a scene in the previous book (which we get from her POV here) with dire implications for their relationship…which has always been kind of a three-way between Bob, Mo, and Mo's soul-eating sentient violin, and this triangle has now come to a crisis. Plus there's superheroes.

Stross notes in the introduction that he never really read American superhero comics, so he had to pick a few brains about them, but the book really isn't about American superheroes either; he references the British superhero anthology series "Temps" (which I never did manage to read, since I only managed to find the second book, but now I feel like I should check out) as contrasted with the "Wild Cards" series.

All in all it's pretty decent, with lots of witty read-aloud bits, but the pacing is odd; there's a lot of plotlines, and some of them don't seem to progress for a long time. Some of them turn out to be red herrings, I guess, but overall it doesn't gel as well as it could. We don't see much of Bob (which makes sense since this isn't his book), though Mo is a perfectly fine protagonist. I'll be fine going back to Bob for the next book. If I can ever find it.

See, apparently this is the last book in the series I own right now, and probably the next one, The Nightmare Stacks, came and went while I was behind on reading it, and now it's out of print (and possibly never had a mass-market release at all, which is still my preferred format) and seems like it'll be hard to find in any physical format. I mean, I went on a site which allows you to search indie and second-hand bookstores, and the title didn't even come up on search. I have long been resisting switching wholeheartedly over to ebooks (a transition my wife has already made), but I can see that at some point I may have to get used to the fact that ebooks are just replacing mass-market paperbacks for the cheap release format. (I still can't manage to bring myself to spend as much as $8, let alone $12 or more, for an ebook, though. Like…what am I paying for? The publishing costs are minuscule compared to physical copies, and I expect that saving to be passed on to me. I guess I don't know if the extra is being passed on to the author in a non-self-published situation, but given our current corporate hellscape I'm gonna say probably not. Note: if you think this makes me a horrible person who hates writers to make money, please remember that I am married to a writer who I would love to make enough money that I don't have to work, but the publishing industry is horrible and they're the ones that actually have the capability to allow writers to make enough money to make a living, and they're not doing it, so I don't know what to tell you. I've bought thousands of books in my life, even if I don't go out of my way to buy the most expensive ones, because that's a good way to go broke. Get off my back, person I made up for this parenthetical aside.)

Martha Wells: System Collapse, completed January 28

I may be the last person in my house to have read Murderbot. My wife had already read some of Martha Wells earlier books (Raksura series, I want to say) before she read the Murderbot novells, and she loved them and read them to/got our kids to read them too. I eventually scheduled one in (novellas are good when I'm behind on my Goodreads challenge) and…it was okay, I guess? And I kept reading them because, well, more novellas. Last year I read the first novel-length story, Network Effect, and I liked it somewhat better than the novellas, for whatever reason.

I had been putting off the latest one for a little while, though, partly because of my Vorkosigan reread--I generally don't like books that are too close in genre too close together, and they're both kinda space opera-ish, though quite different kinds (Murderbot's future is more corporate-dominated), but next up I'm taking a break for a Dick Francis reread, so I thought I might as well put it in now. Though I've got to say that, since we have it as a physical hardcover as opposed to the digital novella ebooks, I'm really not a big fan of the texture of the dust jacket. Like, it is physically unpleasant to touch, being just a little bit rough. But not as bad as some I'd run across in the past few years, so I don't have to, like, take off the dust jacket to read it.

In the end I didn't like it as well as Network Effect, though I did like the middle bit where Murderbot becomes a Youtube influencer. The early part of the book, Murderbot is in a bit of a depressive state and not fun to read, like the first part of "Order of The Phoenix" or something. I guess if a character is too hypercompetent then nothing challenges them, but I wasn't a big fan of the emotional arc.

Dick Francis: Forfeit, completed January 31

I remember precisely where I was when I first heard of Dick Francis. See, I went to this convention in Edmonton in the summer of 1989, "ConText '89". It was an important convention--a reader-oriented rather than media-dominated SF/Fantasy convention, for one thing, and also it resulted in the formation of the first SF/Fantasy writer's organization in Canada, currently named SF Canada. Oh, and also, I met a cute girl there (Nicole, a YA author guest from northern Alberta), started dating, fell in love, got married, had three kids, and we're still married today.

I also saw this posting for a writing course out at a place called the Black Cat Guest Ranch, in the Rockies near Hinton, and decided to go. There I met Candas Jane Dorsey (who was the instructor for the course) and several other writers, and we later formed a writers' group called The Cult of Pain which is still going to this day. Anyway, I went out for a second course there, with Nicole coming along this time (though we may not have technically been dating and didn't share a room)--I think it was in mid-February sometime--and one evening we were all hanging out in the outdoor hot tub, watching snowflakes melt over our heads, and talking about books. And Candas and Nicole started rhapsodizing about this guy named Dick Francis. I said, "Who?" And they both told me I had to go read him, like, right away.

Dick Francis, apparently, was a former steeplechase jockey turned mystery/thriller writer. Now, mysteries and thrillers were not really my thing--I was into the SF & fantasy--but I supposed I was willing to try it. I was in university and trying to read other stuff outside my comfort zone, like Thomas Hardy and The Brothers Karamazov and William S. Burroughs, so why not. Plus, I wanted my girlfriend to like me. And the first one I picked up was one that one of my roommates had lying around, called Forfeit. It was pretty decent, and I went on to others--Nicole had a copy of Nerve, and I soon started to pick up more--and eventually read almost all of them (a few proved elusive, but I tracked down a copy of Smokescreen not long ago…).

Every book was concerned in some way with horse racing, but there was a wide variety--sometimes the main character was a jockey, but sometimes that was just their side hustle, and they had another profession, or sometimes they did something else like train horses or transport horses, or paint pictures of horses, or they didn't do anything about horses but the romantic interest did… He covered a lot of different professions over his books, they were usually quite interesting, and his characters were always very well-drawn. After his wife Mary (apparently an uncredited frequent collaborator and researcher) died, there was a gap of a few years before he started writing them with his son Felix. I think I read all of those ones, but after he died and Felix started writing solo novels, I haven't really kept up on those ones.

Instead, a few years ago I decided I was going to reread all the books, in publication order, interspersed with my series rereads as I was already doing with Discworld and Star Trek books. Forfeit is his seventh published book…and when I went to look for it on my shelf, I discovered that I actually didn't own a copy, and probably never had. I had just borrowed it from my roommate, and then given it back (a rookie mistake). Was it in print? Of course not, don't be silly. I had managed to find a used copy of Smokescreen online, as I mentioned, but for Forfeit there was only more expensive trade paperbacks, or $8 ebooks. They didn't even have it at the library! Except, well, they did…but I'd have to interlibrary loan it. I went back on forth on which to try to do, and eventually went ILL, and it came in for me at the library on the 20th. So there, overpriced ebooks. (And person I made up for the earlier parenthetical aside.)

Dick Francis novels have turned to be pretty rereadable, because they're not primarily mysteries of the sort where you don't remember which of the suspects is guilty; they're mysteries where the main character has to figure out who's behind the crimes and then avoid getting killed by them. Some of it is competency porn as they use their special skills to solve problems. And some of it just because of the engaging characters, which are maybe not quite all the way there in the earlier books (the ones I've reread so far are still books from the 60s, so the female characters could be more nuanced). In Forfeit what I recalled from that first read (some 34 years ago) was that the main character was a sportswriter, it started with one of his colleagues killing himself, and his wife was disabled and bedridden. (And one exciting scene in the middle of the book in which spoilers.) Though it turned out I was conflating two suicide openings (Nerve also starts with one, a gunshot suicide on the first page, whereas Forfeit's is more falling out of a window), and the exciting scene is missing an element I was sure was there.

So that's eight books in one month, which is basically enough to keep up on my Goodreads challenge, but I also managed to squeeze in a couple more on the side track. First of all, there was my brother's book, Paths of Pollen, which came out last year; my mom went to the book launch in Toronto and brought back a signed copy for me. As one might expect, it talks about honeybees (and the time he was working on our stepfather's apiary), but covers a lot of pollen details I didn't know, about all the other bees, beetles, butterflies, insects, and other animals that also do pollination. It's a sobering look at how plants reproduce and how we're screwing it up in a lot of cases. (I hadn't realized before how much insects use pollen as food…somehow I thought they were nectar-eaters and they just picked up pollen because the plants forced them too, but I guess it makes sense that they also eat it.)

Then there was another one of the Love & Rockets ebook bundle that I've been going through. This volume, Esperanza, is around the latest stuff I read in the Love & Rockets Vol. 2 comics (which I have only read once or twice), so it's fairly unfamiliar to me. Despite it being named after Esperanza "Hopey" Glass, most of the book seems to revolve around Vivian, a.k.a. Frogmouth, a hot, buxom woman with an unfortunate voice, who both Maggie and Ray are lusting after, despite her problematic relationships with some violent criminals. Ray and Maggie do meet up again briefly; Maggie's working as an apartment superintendent, Hopey's working in a bar but trying to get into a teaching assistant job, surreal things happen with Izzy, Doyle's around as well, and we see brief glimpses of Maggie's sister Esther. It was interesting but I didn't find it altogether compelling.

With ten books for January, that means I'm really read up to 36.5 days into the year, or February 5th, so I'm a little bit ahead. I'll be taking advantage of this to start off February with a longer book, for my female diversity slot--Fonda Lee's Jade Legacy, to wrap up that series. More about that next month, of course…

[hagatha-christie]

September books, though at this point these posts are purely just for me

The bad:

Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats by TS Eliot - shocking amount of racial slurs for a children's book

Sovietistan by Erika Fatland - technically didn't finish this one. It's a shame because it was SO interesting and I enjoyed reading about Central Asia bc I know nothing, but Fatland is so rude about every single local she comes into contact with. Constant descriptions of bad teeth, people's weight, how nasty the food was, and how backwards the attitudes were. I get it's kind of a strange/unique region but it was gross to me that her narration, apart from when she discussed history of the region, was very much "wow look how weird and exotic these people are! I'm so glad I live in Norway where it's CLEAN and people aren't WEIRD." Only made it through the Turkmenistan and Kazakhstan chapters which is a shame bc this could've been great if she was just not an asshole!!!!

The okay:

Uncharted by Alli Temple - was truly expecting nothing from this Kindle Unlimited pirate adventure-romance series with a stock image cover but it was actually not bad? Fun, pulp-y plot and I finished it in about 5 hours

Cleat Cute by Meryl Wilsner - a serviceable romcom about two soccer players who fall in love. I read Wilsner's other books (one was fine and one I hated) so I feel like saying this is my favorite isn't saying much, but it was cute.

The Lost Spells by Robert MacFarlane - the draw here isn't so much the poems (but they're fine!), it's the beautiful watercolors

The good/great:

spellbook for the sabbath queen by Elisheva Fox - a really beautiful but sparse poetry collection that has stuff about identity and environment and difficult familial relationships and sexuality and Judaism. This is her first collection and it definitely feels like one, but not in a bad way. I'll def keep an eye out for more of her stuff

Ararat by Christopher Golden - a recommendation from a friend and it had some GNARLY kills but was another book that was very much My Shit. Also had a great ending

American Journal: Fifty Poems For Our Time, edited by Tracy K. Smith - a really great poetry collection especially if you're just getting into poetry and are looking for new poets. There's enough variety that there's something for everyone in there!

When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities by Chen Chen - these poems were so fucking weird that i was immediately in love. Idk what else to say other than "strange and lovely"

Rouge by Mona Awad - speaking of strange! If you're into skincare this is especially fun, I'm glad I got a facial BEFORE reading this because otherwise I would have been mildly unsettled. I love that thing Awad does when the character starts to lose it and the narration goes off the rails

Bestiary by Donika Kelly - I mean this in the best possible way, what the FUCK. "You grow. You are large./You are a 19th century poem." but also "I have never known a field as wild/as your heart." Hey Donika what if I throw up everywhere

He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker-Chan - some great characters and also a couple of plot points that were so upsetting i started laughing and then had to put the book down for the night because it was the most tragic possible thing to happen. (almost) every single character in this book is a total asshole and I love them all!!!!!!!! Maybe not technically "great" but one of those books that felt like it was written just for me.

The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros - an all time favorite I reread because I was sad. Sandra Cisneros is one of those writers that makes me feel incredibly seen and I was having a bad day so I read this in one sitting and it helped a little

[buttersbookreviews]

A Review of This is How You Fall In Love by Anika Hussain:

Hey it’s me again back with more YA! I bought a load of books in one go and never really got around to reading them.

Stats:

Entertainment: 7/10

Cringe Factor: 6/10

Yikes Factor: 0/10

Let’s get right into the plot because wow this was certainly a book

Plot:

Zara is your average machine gun Kelly loving sixthformer (for any Americans that is your education from ages 16-18) who comes from a lenient Bangladeshi household. She also has a best friend, Adnan, who she sees as a brother and nothing more - despite the whole school shipping them.

Well one night her parents start fighting because her dad hid the fact that he had diabetes, and Zara wishes for a way out. However, Adnan accidentally grants that wish when he enters a secret relationship with Cami, and in order to keep it secret, pretends that it’s actually ZARA that he is going out with. Zara is completely against this, however when she sees how happy her parents are that they’re together she decided to agree to the whole scheme.

It’s working relatively well, but Cami is getting jealous, and Zara has met someone else, a boy. His name is Yara and he’s just her type (and also plays Pokémon go because the characters in this book love Pokémon go apparently). Well things start to get complicated.

Zara’s friend who is making a documentary on love insists on using Zara and Adnan as her subject, unaware the relationship isn’t real.

Review (will contain spoilers):

Now. I’m going to start with what I liked.

This book completely subverted the whole fake dating thing at the end, and I’m very glad that she didn’t get with Adnan because it just couldn’t shake the yacky when she said she was like a brother. Props to the author.

While I myself am not Bangladeshi, I thought all the cultural references were cool, and if you were Bangladeshi I’m sure you could relate heavily to the characters (or maybe you couldn’t?)

Also, Zara was a very strong character and a compelling lead. Despite being roped into possibly the strangest scheme ever, she held strong and kept me reading even when it got super awkward (I’m looking at you ‘sucking face’). I appreciate her for that, she had good vibes. I think that’s really what you want from a main character.

Now let’s move onto the bits I didn’t like so much. Some of these are quite nitpicky but relevant nevertheless

Everyone but Zara was kind of insufferable?? Cami was whiney even though it was her idea in the first place. She sets up the whole “You can’t be seen by my dad!1!!1!1!” Thing which gave me the impression he is super abusive and keeps her on a tight leash and he’s evil incarnate… but it turns out he’s just a bit protective because she got in an abusive relationship!! I get she still has trauma from the relationship but goodness me an elaborate fake dating scheme which you don’t even like is NOT THE ANSWER!!! (Maybe she was meant to be like this?? Idk? Were we supposed to like her??)

Adnan put hoes before bros and literally compromised his best friends entire life because he really liked this girl. Zara literally lost her best friends over this and he’s just like ‘tee hee that didn’t work out’. Adnan never considered how much Zara struggled to get into relationships, and literally took over and ruined her chances anyway. Boo. You suck.

Yara? Well he was just kinda there man. He tried to be the manic pixie dream boy but in reality was just a tall Pokémon-go playing weirdo. I think the whole big reveal that he is related to Cami was interesting, but overall he felt very bland as a love interest.

Overall:

I think this book would be a lot of peoples cups of tea. If you’re into the whole fake dating thing, this is the perfect book for you, as the scheme is one of the most elaborate I’ve ever seen in a book like this. I enjoyed the main character despite her weird Machine gun Kelly obsession (I mean to each their own but seriously MGK????). I’ve got to say, I had no clue who she was gonna pick until the very end, like I was genuinely hooked. And I was still surprised!

Was the dialogue a little cringe? Yes. But it’s a YA teen book, sometimes you just have to embrace it.

Thank you for reading 🩷

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 307

Gods and Monsters

“Gods and Monsters”

Plot Description: as Sam, Mary, and Bobby look into a new clue, Nick seeks a killer from his past while Jack searches for a sense of family

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: as long as I never get visited by Michael, I’m good. But holy shit…I don’t think just about anyone would make it out of his human experiments alive

It’s still really weird to have a version of Bobby back, even if he doesn’t have the same connection with the boys

It must be eating Cas up that he can’t join the Duluth trip. But Michael sensing his presence would ruin it and it’s not like staying with Jack and Nick isn’t a necessary job

Jack has so many mannerisms from Castiel, it’s pretty adorable. You can tell Jack really looks up to him

Oh, Nick (I’m glad we got that flashback though because I definitely forgot what happened to him to say yes to Lucifer)

Oh…he’s trying to make angel-vampire hybrids (those words are not as easy to put together as vampire and pirates to make vampirates)

Dadstiel is just SO!!!!

You know, if it doesn’t exist already, how is there not a YA book about an angel and a vampire?

UMMMM, excuse me?! That…that’s not a normal human reaction. That snap is what Lucifer would have done to turn someone to dust

Michael is a fucking monster

………if there were no suspicious fingerprints found at Nick’s house after his wife and son were killed, what is the next probable thing? 😐😐😐

Oh no. Oh no, Cas….don’t listen to Nick. He doesn’t know shit about anything. Look, some angels definitely are stone cold body snatchers, but not you. You would have given Jimmy his life back (and I’m pretty sure you did at some point). It’s not your fault that you died and were pieced back together sans Jimmy

I mean…he’s not wrong that Chuck is pretty much on permanent vacation, but claiming to be akin to the new god is pretty blasphemous of Michael to say

Oh no…Michael’s perfected the hybrids

Jack was named after his grandfatherrrrrrrr

Jack having to lie about how he knew Kelly is…he’s doing it surprisingly well. It’s not a full lie to say that she basically gave him his start but he won’t dissuade her parents from thinking they knew each other from work

My heart is absolutely breaking listening to Jack talk about Kelly to her parents. He’s so sweet and earnest even while not telling them that she’s dead. It’s like they can tell they’re family…I’m in tears

I don’t like feeling this angry at Jensen’s character

Jack!! You can’t say Dean doesn’t matter. JPad could NOT carry this show. They HAVE to save Dean

Nick going after his old neighbor to try to solve his family’s murder…I think the neighbor made up the first story to cover up it being Nick (even if maybe he was possessed by a demon? Demons don’t need permission)

Oh good, at least almost nothing works to fight off the werewolf hybrids. You know, after saying Michael was Bella Swan because of his lack of personality and then him going to the vampires and then werewolves……

I trust that Michael is fully gone

YEAH…wait, fucking hell, Nick. You didn’t have to kill your old neighbor with a hammer. You’re not doing a good job of making believe you didn’t kill your family, too (also, Castiel, you had one job and you let both Jack and Nick leave the bunker)

(Megumi needed some extra attention tonight so we’re only doing one show. You know you’re having A Night when you can be looking her dead in the eyes and saying “hi my baby. hiii my babyyy,” but the moment you blink, she lunges at your face. Maybe she’ll calm down if I put on one piece)

[pippytmi]

Supercorp + Hogwarts AU + meet messy + "is that the best you can do?"

“Hey, do you guys want to see a muggle magic trick?”

Kara doesn’t have to look up to know Alex and Kelly are exchanging glances over Nia’s head. Nia is the best witch in the fifth year hands-down, but her grasp of muggle illusions leave a lot to be desired.

“Sure…” Kelly agrees, politely but unsurely, while Alex shakes her head.

“If this is that stupid coin trick again, Nia—” she starts, but Nia is already squeezing between them on the grass, unfolding a pack of muggle playing cards.

“It is not,” Nia says. “Prepare to be amazed! Yvette says I’m really good at this one.”

“Oh, joy,” Alex mutters under her breath, which turns into a pained yelp when Kelly elbows her in the ribs.

Kara finally raises her gaze from the newspaper she’s been half-reading, fully prepared to commit to Nia’s trick, but then she catches a glimpse of dark hair and a brisk pace. It’s Lena Luthor, notorious loner, actually sitting outside by the black lake with her books.

It’s odd—Lena never sits outside. People talk; Lena doesn’t have many friends (someone even started a rumor that Lillian Luthor pays Jess, another sixth year, to hang out with Lena). In fact, the only time anyone really sees Lena is in class, or in the Slytherin common room when Jess is also there. Kara sees her even less (only when Slytherin and Gryffindor share classrooms), but that doesn’t make the hopeless crush she’s fostered on her since they were eleven any less potent.

Kelly starts clapping suddenly, reluctantly dragging Kara’s eyes from Lena (who is reading a book; Kara is wondering just what kind of book it is). “Aw, Nia, that was good!” she says. “Do it again!”

Even Alex is curiously lifting up the cards one by one, as if trying to determine the trick herself. “Did you use actual magic for this?” she asks.

“I’m just that good,” Nia brags, though the way she tries to expertly shuffle the cards right back into their box suggests otherwise; half of them spill onto the grass. “Oh man!”

“I’ve got this,” Kara says, absentmindedly reaching for her wand. “Accio—”

“Kara, no!”

Oh, that’s right, Kara thinks belatedly. My wand is broken. It had been an unfortunate event on the Quidditch pitch involving an overzealous Hufflepuff seeker (Winn is still very apologetic about it, but it can’t be helped now). Unfortunately, Kara never seems to quite remember that magic is off-limits until it can be fixed.

And even more unfortunate is the fact that her mind and her words have begun to converge; she’s thinking about the book Lena is reading while glancing at the cards, and her mouth is forming silent words, and really it’s not a surprise at all when said book rockets out of Lena’s hands and aims right for Nia’s head.

No one dies, though, nor do they have to make the unpleasant trudge to the infirmary—Kelly is far quicker than any of Kara’s botched magic, and the book explodes into nothing when she mutters a firm, “Evanesco.”

“Kelly!” Kara forgets, for a second, about the whole Nia-about-to-break-her-face thing; her heart drops to the pit of her stomach at the thought that something of Lena Luthor’s has been reduced to figurative dust. What if that book was personal? What if it was special? What if it was—

“Excuse me,” says a quiet, sudden voice, and Kara just about falls over in the grass at the sight of Lena Luthor standing there. “I think you summoned my book.”

Kelly winces. “Oh, actually—”

“I destroyed it,” Kara blurts out, because really, this is her fault and Nia still has a face so the least Kara can do is take a fall for a friend. “I’m sorry. My wand is broken, and I was trying to summon some cards, but I was looking at you and thinking about your book and it just…I’m sorry. Again. I can pay for it?” She immediately begins digging into the pockets of her robes, but all she manages to scrounge up is a broken sugar quill and a drawing on a torn sheet of paper that depicts Professor Grant as a dragon.

For a moment, all Lena does is stare down at Kara in a peculiarly quizzical way. She doesn’t seem mad or anything, just perplexed. A second later she says, “You were thinking about ‘Voyages with Vampires’ strongly enough to summon it? I don’t really enjoy Gilderoy Lockhart books myself.”

“To be fair,” Kara’s quick to defend herself, “I couldn’t read the title from this far.”

“Right. You decided you wanted to snatch my book from me because it was mine.” And just like that, the curious expression on Lena’s face drops entirely, twists into something resigned and exhausted. “Is that the best you can do? Petty little child games?”

“What? No, I would never—”

“Because last week Eve Tessmacher hit me with a furnunculus curse that was far more clever than this,” Lena all but sneers. “It’s always the pig-headed Gryffindors that aim out of their league.”

“You wanna say that again?” Alex is jumping up, her wand brandished out, and Lena glances from her to Kara to Kelly to Nia, as if just realizing how potentially outnumbered she could be.

Except, well, that’s so not the issue. Kara hastens to stand between Alex’s wand and Lena’s body, nearly knocking her sister over in the process. “No! No, I didn’t do that as a prank, I—” She pauses, feels her cheeks go hot, and then rushes out, “Ijustthinkyou’rereallypretty!”

Alex lowers her wand; Kara can tell, because Alex uses it to jab her in the ribs. “Oh, bloody hell,” Alex grumbles, and she nudges Kelly to join her. “I think that’s our cue. I’d rather study for Potions than watch this.”

Kelly obligingly drags Nia along, who looks like she wants to protest, but eventually Nia caves in—though not without trying to wink conspiringly at Kara, which doesn’t work because Nia “winks” with both eyes.

“But—” Kara watches as her friends scatter, and then she is left with the heavy, accusatory gaze of Lena Luthor. She tries to smile, but imagines her attempt is more of a wince than anything. “Did I mention that I’m sorry?”

Lena takes a step forward. She raises her chin in the air, no less guarded, but her eyes convey a tiny bit of that earlier curiosity all the same. “You’ve already had your fun, Kara Danvers,” she says. “But I will give you credit, no one has played the ‘I have a crush on you’ prank yet.”

Kara frowns. “Do people really play pranks on you so much?”

“I am the weird little sister of a boy who tried to blow up Hogwarts,” Lena all but deadpans. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re way more than Lex Luthor’s sister, and that’s just...really mean,” Kara says, words bursting out before she even pauses to rein them in. “I mean, you are so smart! Last year you saved a bunch of first years who wandered into the Forbidden Forest. A-and you never tried out for Quidditch, but sometimes you fly with Jess on the pitch and you’re so fast you could easily run circles around anyone on the Slytherin team. You’re the coolest person ever. Even when you were eleven, you—” Finally, her brain starts to catch up with her mouth, and Kara flushes hotter than she ever thought possible. “Oh, gosh. I’m sorry. I swear, I didn’t mean for that to sound…stalker-y. I only know about the first year thing because Professor Grant’s son was new that year and I was supposed to be babysitting him. And then the flying, well, sometimes I go to the pitch with Winn whenever he wants to practice—”

“Kara. You can breathe any time you want,” Lena prompts, and Kara pauses to do exactly that.

“Sorry,” Kara adds, again, after she’s let her lungs rest a bit. Her whole body feels shivery from head to toe, like she is seconds away from fainting, and honestly? She just might. “Anyway. Um. I can replace that book if you want. Or I can give you the money and you can pick out a better one, since you said you weren’t a fan? Whatever you want.”

Lena is quiet for a beat. “What were you going to say before? About when I was eleven?”

Kara bites her lip so hard she knows she will inevitably have to ask Kelly to heal it later. “Oh, that,” she says evasively. “I meant, when you were eleven, and I walked face-first into the wrong wall trying to get to platform nine and three quarters, and you didn’t even laugh at me. You just...helped me up, and promised you would walk with me to the train until I found my family again.”

“I remember,” Lena says, and her voice is softening, as is her expression. “You somehow got lost between platforms seven and eight. Your sister was furious when she caught up with us.”

“Yeah.” And Kara finds herself smiling at that memory; this time it’s a real smile, and she couldn’t stop it if she tried. “That was really nice.” She wants to mention more—how even when Lillian Luthor scowled at Kara’s hand-me-downs, Lena complimented her right away on the shirt that had once been Alex’s—but all Kara does right now is step back. “I’ve bothered you enough, I think. Will you…let me know? About the book?”

“I don’t care about the book,” Lena says, and she swallows, loud enough that Kara can hear it. “Do you mean it?”

“That you’re...nice?”

“Yes.” Lena’s cheeks are a faint pink color, and Kara’s entire mouth goes dry.

“Well, yeah,” Kara says, and in that moment—with Lena blushing, and Kara’s chest tightening—they both know that she’s confessing to so much more than thinking Lena is nice. “So. Um.” She squares her shoulders, and prepares to be brave enough to live up to the Gryffindor name: “Can I buy you something that’s not a book? Sometime? Maybe on our next trip to Hogsmeade?”

“Like a date?” Lena asks, so impossibly soft, and Kara nods.

“Exactly like a date,” Kara says, and honestly, she should demand ten points to Gryffindor herself because her voice does not waver once.

And Lena Luthor smiles, just cautious enough to show how unsure she is, but still warm enough that Kara’s heart skips a beat. “Okay,” she says. “But on one condition: I’ll handle any magic until then.”

“Deal,” Kara agrees, and it’s official; breaking her wand might have been the best thing that has ever happened to her, ever.

[stefanmikaleson1864]

Together No Matter What Part Four ! :)

A/N: I Hope everyone enjoys this If you like my work please like comment or reblog it means a lot to see interactions on my work. If you want to be tagged let me know ! Enjoy this chapter I hope it’s making sense  Taglist: @wanniiieeee​

Jay’s POV 

“Okay so Maggie and Jubal go back and talk to our witness and the chicago detectives Jay and Hailey why don’t you team up with them and Kim and Ruzek you can partner up with Tiff and Scola Sergeant Voight and Detective Atwater why don’t you both go both go over the case files and new leads with Kelly here see if the three of you can work together to find something.” Isobel said 

“Sounds good to me” Voight said. 

Isobel then got up and walked back into her office. 

Right before we all got up to leave that’s when I saw them. OA and Y/N walking into the conference room together. 

They both had this look on their face. It looked worried and determined all at the same time. 

That’s why I didn’t see her the first time. She was working on something and with OA.

 It took me by surprise to see him. I haven’t seen him in years since we discharged from the rangers. We didn’t really keep in touch after that. 

It’s just something we both wanted to forget and move on. They both walked into a room and we really couldn’t see them after that.  

I think my face had some kind of look on because it Hailey spoke up. 

“Everything okay Jay you seem a bit surprised you knew Y/N worked here.” She said 

“Wait you know Y/N” Maggie asked 

“Yeah she’s my sister I wasn’t surprised to see her I mean I am but I didn’t OA worked here” I said 

“You know OA and Y/N is your sister small world” Scola said 

“Yeah we served in the ranger’s together and Y/N’s adopted” Jay said 

“What are they doing anyways in there I mean if OA is here why isn’t he working with us” Maggie asked 

“Do you guys usually work on different cases at a time” Adam asked. 

“No that’s normal at all I don’t know what’s going on” Jubal said 

“Why wouldn’t Isobel tell you” Tiffany asked 

“I don’t know it doesn’t make any sense” Jubal said.  

“Maybe we should go ask her” Maggie said 

“No let’s just go and talk to our witness if it was something important she would have told us” Jubal said 

We all agreed and after that we got up and walked to the elevators. It was quiet and no one was really saying anything. 

We got down to the first floor then headed out to the parking lot. 

“So do the two of them work together often” Hailey asked breaking the silence. 

Jubal and Maggie just looked at each other smiling and laughing a little. Me and Hailey just looked at each other confused. 

“We all work together in the JOC  but the two of them rarely go off on their own sense Y/N’s not an agent” Maggie said 

“Nah there’s something else going on I can read it on the two of your’s faces “ I said 

“Look it’s not our place” Jubal said 

“Come on Jay’s a big boy” Hailey said laughing. 

“There dating they don’t know that we know it’s not like there out right with it but you could see in the way the look at each other” Maggie said. 

“Damn she didn’t even tell me she had a boyfriend” I said. 

Everyone laughed and it was a weird thought of my former ranger partner and my sister dating. Why the hell didn’t she tell me she was dating anyone. 

We were in the car at this point and was heading out to the witness house. Hopefully there was something there and it wasn’t a waste of trip. 

We were all know just talking pointless small talk. It was such a weird thing working down here in NYC and with the feds nonetheless. We had to do everything by the book. 

“Anything we should know going in” Maggie asked 

“This was your case before it was ours” She added. 

“Not much we got from this guy he was visiting Chicago for work at the time of victims number 2 murder said he saw a man late 40’s walking out of the victims hotel room 10 minutes before the murder” Hailey said 

“Any forensics or cameras anything besides an eyewitness statement” Jubal asked

“Nothing it was a cheap hotel known to criminals”  I said

When we rolled up to the house there was cops and people around. There was even a medical examiner at the scene. 

We got out of the car and looked at each other in confusion. 

“What the hell is going on” Maggie asked 

We walked over to one of the cops that was holding the scene. 

“Jubal Valentine ASAC with the FBI what the hell is going on here” he asked flashing his badge. 

“You guys don’t talk to each other over there at the FBI “ he said 

“What are you talking about” Jubal asked 

“Agent Zidan called this is in about an hour were just wrapping up the scene.” the cop said 

“Why were they here did they say” Maggie asked 

“No just asked us to work the scene and report back to him when we were done” the cop said 

“Who died and how long have they been dead” Hailey asked 

“Were not sure yet time of death to much decomp but his name is Tyler brooks says so on his ID and mail” the cop said 

“Thanks” Jubal said 

We all walked back to the car and got in. 

“So the only thing that makes sense is they are working this case but then that doesn’t make sense because why would they work on this on their own.” I asked 

“Yeah i mean none of this is adding up we need to talk to Isobel and the two of them” Jubal said 

We headed back to the JOC to get answers because none of this is making sense. Were not solving anything we just kept getting more questions than answers. 

Y/N’s POV

“What the hell” You said out loud. 

“What was it” OA asked in a panic. 

“The hit came back I put in a name Tyler Brooks the victim from the house he was a witness to a murder down in Chicago” I said 

“Okay what does that have to do with us” OA said 

“The murder he was witness to was the chicago case the rest of the team are actively working on” I said 

“Now here me out what if these two cases are connected and that’s the missing part were missing” I said 

“Okay now I’m confused there being as two separate cases” OA said 

“The first case the people were seen as random victims but what if there not what if there just clearing house or some way involved. What if this things run deeper than we thought” I said 

“Okay so what are we thinking here I mean why were they killed and how do they all know each other” OA asked. 

“ I can run there names and everything see if there is a connection to one another the local departments don’t got the resources we do” I said 

“Y/N this is a longshot” OA said 

“I know but is it a coincidence that one of our victims was a witness to to a murder on the chicago case We all know what Jubal says about that .” I asked 

“It could just be” OA said 

“I don’t know but my gut says it’s something” I said 

“Okay let’s do it” OA said. 

I ran each of the victims names together and waited for something to come back. I hope it wasn’t a longshot like I thought. 

Waiting seemed hard to if I was wrong and I wasted time I don’t know what I would do how I could handle it. 

We were broken out of out thoughts when Isobel came into the conference room. 

“Please tell me we got something” she asked 

“ I have a theory that the chicago cases and our cases our linked” I said 

“Why what makes you think that” She asked 

I went to tell her my theory but then Jubal interrupted us and came in. 

“I’m sorry but we need to talk to all three of you all” He said 

“Yeah come on in” Isobel said 

“We have a victim Tyler brooks was just murdered they said you two called it in” He asked. 

“Yea we just found out that connection to it’s my theory that our cases our connected” I said 

“Okay this is clear we need to all come together” Isobel said and we all left the conference room and headed to the JOC.

“Everyone listen up Y/N and OA have something they need to share” Isobel said

“We are working a case that has to do with a terrorist attack threating to attack NYC and we have a theory that our case and the Chicago case are connected” OA said speaking up. 

I put the picture of Tyler on the board in front of the room. 

“This is Tyler brooks he was murdered time of death is unknown but he is a suspect in our case and he was a witness to the chicago case we are working under the theory that the victims are all connected and apart of the terrorist attacks” I said 

“Are we sure” Maggie asked 

“It’s a theory I’m working to see if the victims had any interactions or connections that may have been overlooked” I said 

Just then Isobel got a call on her phone and her face looked shocked she didn’t say much on the phone. 

“Another victim just popped up Jasmine creed same Mo as the other victims in the chicago case” She said 

“Jasmine are you sure” I asked 

“Yeah why” Isobel said

“She was my source that lead to Tyler” I said

“Looks like your theory might have some standing” Jubal said 

“Let’s go” Voight said 

Tiff and Scola and Ruzek and Kim headed out to the scene. 

“Looks like you were right” OA whispered to me.

“ I know But no clue what the hell I’m right about” I said looking at him 

“Were figure it out no matter what is is let’s go check see if you got a hit on anything” OA said 

We went back to the conference room. Whatever is going on we need to figure it out soon. We are running out of time but this case keeps taking too many twists and turns to figure it out.

[baejax-the-great]

Copilots

Gen fic | T | 993 words | EDI & Joker | AO3

Joker drummed his fingers on the console. “You know, now that you’re unshackled, it’s a little… weird… how much you know about all of us.”

The ever-present, all-listening, all-knowing glowing chess-piece to his left shimmered as she spoke. “Why is that, Jeff?”

“Well… before you were just an annoying popup full of spyware I couldn’t delete. But now you are a… copilot, I guess. And under normal circumstances, my copilot being aware of my extranet browsing history or my private collection of vids would probably count as sexual harassment on one or both of our parts.”

Although, given Cerberus, maybe not. The Illusive Man probably had automatic programs installed to tabulate all the titles and watch times for future blackmail material on his own people. Hell, Joker wouldn’t be surprised if Miranda ran her own spyware to keep a burn book just in case.

Didn’t mean Joker was suddenly more comfortable with his fully-realized unshackled AI copilot knowing way too much about him or how his most recent viewing habits included human-robot liaisons.

“I understand your concern,” EDI said. “It is a… unique work situation. But rest assured, I have assigned no value judgment to the possession of adult-themed videos in private databases or the viewing of them during personal time. Cerberus engineers found no reason to program me with any opinion on this, and I have yet to form my own.”

Joker tried to imagine the scenario where the ship’s AI decided the Puritans had it all right and it was time to make them act accordingly. Bad, he decided. That would be bad. “Let me know how that goes,” Joker muttered.

“When you wake up to find your vid files purged of all that is unclean and wicked, you will know I have made up my mind.”

Joker turned his head slowly to stare at the chess piece.

“That was a joke.”

“Right. Right.” He just had to unshackle the AI he lived in, worked in, and accessed the world through. He could not foresee any long-term consequences of this action. Her morality was programmed in by Cerberus for Christ’s sake.

“It might interest you to know that although your collection of adult-themed videos is the most diverse on the ship, it is not the largest.”

Annoyingly, that did interest him. And make him feel maybe a little better. “Who’s got the largest?”

“Ensign Hadley.”

“Hah.” So there was someone more debauched than Joker on the bridge. At least he had that going for him. “Okay. But anyone can download a bundle of vids for the hell of it. Who’s got… the longest watch time of adult videos since coming aboard?”

“Yeomen Kelly Chambers.”

“Huh. Why does that not surprise me? I feel like that should have surprised me. Who’s got the longest watch time of cross-speciesadult videos?”

“That is also Yeomen Kelly Chambers. Though if Garrus Vakarian keeps up his current rate of viewing, he will surpass her in nine days and six hours.”

"How long have we been on the ship?"

"Ninety-eight days."

Joker whistled. That rate was... alarming. And it was a mental image Joker did not want. Unfortunately, given the diversity of Joker’s vid collection, it was one he could picture all too well. At least he had no reason to ever hobble into the weapons bay.

“But not Shepard?” he asked with a hand covering his face. He didn’t want to know the answer, he didn’t want to know the answer, he didn’t want to know—

“Commander Shepard has no adult videos saved to her private database.”

Joker swung his seat around. “I just want you to know that when you say the word ‘private,’ I mentally add air quotations to it every time.” This time he literally added the air quotations, and if the AI was impressed, the chess piece made no sign of it. Not even an extra shimmer on her. Then EDI’s assertion caught up to him. “Wait, none? Not a single porno?” He blew the air out between his teeth. Okay. Whatever. “That just means she’s better at knowing how to hide things from Cerberus than the rest of us.”

“Perhaps, but videos are played through the ship’s software or on her omnitool, both of which I have full access to, and records indicate Shepard has watched only the single video she has saved to her… personalfiles.”

“She has only one vid?” That woman just got weirder every time Joker learned anything about her. It was probably just a personal message or something, a memento—but Joker’s curiosity got the best of him. “What is it?”

“It is a fifteen-hour long compilation she purchased from a popular bootlegger located in Zakera Ward consisting entirely of elcor stand-up comedy.”

Each word hit him like a biotic kick in the teeth.

A notification started beeping on the console.

“Come on, EDI, you’re just fucking with me now.”

“Records indicate she has watched through the entirety of it six times. Various segments have been rewatched well over twenty times. Based on viewing habits, the comedian Pedok is her favorite of the seven represented in the compilation. I assure you I am not ‘fucking’ with you.”

The beeping got more urgent, and Joker called up the weather alert without looking at it. Instead, he kept his eyes on the AI that seemed intent on tormenting him.

“I have… no idea what to do with this information.”

If a glowing holo chess piece could look smug, this one looked smug. “Then we find ourselves in a similar situation regarding our shipmates’ viewing habits, Jeff. Might I suggest we turn our attention to navigating the solar storm ahead of us?”

Joker hit the controls on his chair to aim him forward again and reluctantly read the urgent weather report. “Yes, EDI,” he mumbled. Somehow, this conversation did not make him feel better. He’d probably be watching nothing but the viewport for a while.

[crazyk-imagine]

Chapter I: Grumpy Beginnings

Characters: Sulane “Sullie” Celeste, Jasner “Jas” Verbane, Carlos Garcia, Hortense “Logan” Mitchell, Kendall Knight, James Diamond, Kelly Wainwright, Gustavo Rocque, Katie Knight, Jennifer “Mama” Knight, Guitar dude

Warnings: Hijinks, Sulane gets annoyed (big surprise), the boys almost lose the once in a lifetime opportunity, Jasner reassures the boys, James gets a smidge jelly of Jasner and Sulane

Word Count: 3,899

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sulane sits in one of the cabanas beside the pool, reading her book so she can finish her book report and (hopefully) help Kelly with a few things before Gustavo gets too cranky. 

It seems as though life or the universe had other plans for her. 

"Take this and call me in the morning." 

A card blocks the paragraph she’s trying to read. 

She looks up, tilting her head looking at the male teen with a bored expression. "Does that line ever work?" She snatches the card from his hand, checking it out. "Oh, look at that. You have your phone number and email on here... good for you. You can go now." 

The teen takes her attitude with a grain of salt and smiles, liking the progress he's made (with the cute girl he's seen hanging out by the Palm Springs pool). "I don't think you actually want me too." 

"And why not? What makes you think I want to stay here talking to you?" 

"You mean besides the fact that you haven't walked away already, I'd say my odds are pretty good." 

Sulane purses her lips and crosses her arms. "Fine but if you're staying here, I have one rule, be quiet. Got it?" 

"Anything for you, your majesty." He quickly settles into the seat beside her. 

"Keep saying things like that and I'll push you in that pool." 

He turns to her, resting his head in his palm, "promise?" 

"What? You want to pinky swear? Will that make it better for you?" 

He holds his pinky up for her, “maybe.” 

Sulane rolls her eyes, "you're so childish." She interlocks her pinky with his. 

"I've been told it's one of my best qualities." 

She snatches her hand away from him, stealing her pencil back from him. "Whoever they are, lied to you." 

He nods, looking around the pool before looking back at her realizing something. "I'm Jasner." 

"Jasner? Like J-a-s-n-e-r?" 

He nods, "yep." 

She scoffs, "no wonder you're weird. You’re a part of that percentage." 

"What?" 

"Some parents name their kids with a cool name and most of the time that kid will be cool but, in your case, you've got a weird name so you're more than a little weird." 

"I'm gonna take that as a compliment." 

"Okay… Sulane." 

"No, I'm Jasner." 

She groans, "oh my god. I'm friends with an idiot." 

"So, we are friends," Jasner says with a smile dancing across his lips. 

She drops her head onto her notebook.  

S01 EP01

“You’re coming with me and Gustavo,” Kelly informs Sulane. 

The teen girl sighs. “Where are we going?” 

“Just have your things ready by the time we need to leave.” 

Sulane's brows knit together, confused by her caretaker's behavior. “Kelly, where are we going?” 

"It doesn't matter where we're going, just please be ready." 

"Why can't you tell me? I won't be mad. Promise." 

“Minnesota.” 

She nods, “yeah, I’m not going.” 

“I know you don’t want to, but it’d be really helpful if you were there.” 

“No, I’m not going.” 

“You don’t really have a choice.” 

“Why?” 

“Gustavo already got your ticket, and our room is ready.” 

“Can’t I just stay here? You two won’t even be gone that long.” 

“I’m sorry, Sulane but this is final. You're coming with us.” 

She scoffs, grabs her bag off the couch and exits the recording studio. 

-

She slams the door and collapses on a couch, releasing a dramatic sigh. “Jas, please tell me you have something I can help you with or something that'll keep me here overnight.” 

“What’s wrong? What’s Gustavo up to now?” Jasner asks. 

“He wants to go to Minnesota to find his next “star that has the fire” or whatever and I don’t want to go. You know I don't like it there.” 

“Honestly, I don’t. You barely talk about when you lived in Minnesota, to anyone much less me. I mean maybe Kelly but that’s because she’s your foster mom or caretaker. I forget what her “legal” title is.” 

“Yeah,” she grabs a pillow off the couch and screams into it before throwing her head back. “I hate this.” 

“You’ll be fine stopping whining.” 

“Says you. You’re gonna be in an audition for a new show that might not even make it anywhere.” 

“Hey!” 

“I don’t mean it like that because you suck- you don't by the way- I'm just saying, people want something else that the us "Palm Woods kids" can’t always give.” 

“Have you always been such a negative nelly?” 

“Have you always been an idiot?” 

Jasner faux glares at her. 

“I’m kidding.” Her phone buzzes. She picks up to see Gustavo and groans. “I gotta go. I'll be back later if I don't kill Gustavo." 

"Don't kill anyone!" He shouts as the door clicks shut. Jasner runs to the door, opening it, he yells down the hall, “you can do this!” 

-

“Where am I, and why am I freezing?” Gustavo shouts. 

“Minnesota,” the teen girl grumbles, standing beside Kelly (finding that she and the older woman had to take their own car to the place annoying). 

“You’re in Minnesota,” Kelly replies, nudging Sulane’s arm with her elbow. 

"What's up, Minnesota?!" Gustavo shouts to the crowd causing them to cheer even louder. "I hate all of them." 

"Yes, we know," says Kelly. 

"And the state for freezing My latte.” 

Kelly stares at the solid, frozen latte in her hand before tossing it to the side. 

“Also, I need A bigger coat." 

"If it makes you feel better, this is the last stop," Sulane informs him. 

"Well, it doesn't." 

"That attitude you have right now, is not appreciated." 

"Alright you two, that's enough. Gustavo, Focus and try not to make everybody cry. Somewhere here is your next big star. I can feel it." 

"I'm the star! What I need is a canvas with great hair that I can paint my pomp on. I need a singing block of wood that I can set on fire, so please tell me, where in, uh..." He trails off forgetting what state they're in. 

"Minnesota," the two females answer.��

"Where in Minnesota is My fire?!" 

-

Sulane cringes, covering her ears. 'I'll never get used to that.' She removes her hands from her ears when she knows it’s safe to do so. She taps Kelly's arm, "I need a break.” She stands up, pausing to ask, “I’m going to the vending machine. Do you want anything?" 

Kelly shook her head, “no but, hurry back, we’re almost done, and we’ll go back to the hotel after this.” 

“Okay.” Sulane nods at the security guards, “keep up the good work guys.” 

They gave her disgusted and bored looks. 

She shrugs, “Just remember, it’s almost over.” 

They nod, one steps in front of her, holding the door open. “Thanks, Randy. Oh, hey,” she turns around, “do either of you want anything from the vending machines?” 

They shake their heads. 

“No but thanks for the offer kid,” Randy says. 

-

James takes his sticker off, reaching for Kendall’s when the blond teen covers his, blocking his friends’ path. 

-

Sulane walks in front of the four boys but is too into her thoughts to realize who she passes by. 

-

Logan was still rocking in the chair, chewing his thumbnail. He looked up, watching the blonde girl walk by, he took his thumb out of his mouth, tilting his head, opening his mouth to all out for her before he was brought back to reality with the other three asking him what happened. “That man is Satan.” He brings his knees up and begins rocking back and forth in the chair. 

-

Sulane walks through the doors to see a tall, skinny, blond guy on the table singing, “Oh, you’re such a turd, oh yeah a giant turd, you look like a turd, and you smell like a turd.” 

She thins her lips, nodding her head, not quite sure what to think. 

Randy, the security guard runs towards the guy, pulling him off the table. 

A teen wearing a helmet jumps onto the other security guard (Sulane didn’t get a chance to catch his name) and pulls on the blond kid's arms. 

The two security guards struggle to remove the two off them while making sure Gustavo isn’t harassed. 

Two more teens join the chaotic scene on stage, clearly friends of the first two troublemakers. 

-

Sulane walks closer towards Gustavo and Kelly, pulling them out of their seats, guiding them away from the mess. She doesn’t want to be a part of this anymore than she already has. “Okay, first off,” she turns, pointing at her boss. “What did you do? And how many of them are there? There’s a limited number of security guards you hired, and it seems like they’re all a bit “preoccupied” right now.” 

“Why do you assume I did this?” Gustavo shouts. 

She raises a brow, “really? You’re Gustavo Rocque, your “thing” is yelling at everyone. Of course, I’m going to assume you did something.” 

“She’s got a point,” Kelly gives her input. 

“Now is not the time to point out my supposed flaws,” Gustavo pouts. 

“I’m just saying.” Kelly sighs when she notices how close her boss is to blowing his gasket. She turns to her daughter, “go wait in the car.” 

“Gladly.” Sulane rushes out of the room, running towards the door, exiting seconds before the security guards force the small group of guys out the building. 

-

Carlos tilts his head, wincing as he taps James' arm. 

The taller teen stares down at him. 

"Isn't that the girl that was with that mean guy?" 

James watches as the blonde teen struggles to get in the car. "I think so, why?" 

"There's something about her. I feel like I know her from somewhere." 

"I think you've taken one too many hits to the head." 

"Why?" 

"You think you know a hot girl." 

Carlos scoffs, "whatever dude." 

-

“No,” Sulane disagrees right away. “No way.” 

“I came here looking for my fire and I found it,” Gustavo says. “You can either stay here in the car or come inside with us.” 

“I’d rather get frost bite,” Sulane crosses her arms. 

The owner of Rocque records bites his tongue to prevent him from lashing out at the young girl. 

Kelly intervenes, “okay, what if we stop by the hotel and-” 

“There’s no time!” 

“Do you really want to stay in the car?” 

“I’m not going in there.” 

“Okay.” The older woman sighs, “be careful.” 

She nods. 

-

“So, Barnes?” Sulane leans over the seat, sticking her head through the divider, “how have you been? The kids good.” 

Barnes, the driver turns around giving her a questionable look. 

“Alright, I hear you. I won’t bother you anymore.” 

She lays across the side furthest away from the Knight household and puts on her headphones, the one and only nice gift her mother ever got her before her accident. 

-

A rapid knocking alerts her, she sits up to find a shivering Gustavo and Kelly. 

She scoots to the other side, “don’t help them, Barnes!” She pushes the window button down, letting it roll down about an inch. “What do you two want?” 

“Let us in!” 

“That’s not the kind of attitude I, as a growing young person, needs to be around.” 

“This is my limo! Let me in!” 

“Can I get a password?” 

“The password is… LET ME IN BEFORE I BREAK THE DOOR!” 

“Okay,” she shrugs, opening the door. The two quickly get in, crossing their arms, hoping to get warm faster. “So, how was it?” 

“I’m getting more than one dog.” 

She groans, “not another boy band.” 

Kelly wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her in closer. “This is just cruel.” 

“What?” 

“You’re using me for warmth.” 

“… no, I’m not.”

- 

“Do I have to stay here until they arrive?” 

“Yes,” says Gustavo. 

“I have school.” 

“You have the day off. I can’t handle teenagers by myself.” 

She looks over at Kelly, who rolls her eyes. “But you have Kelly to help you.” 

“It’s Kelly.” 

“Hey! She is amazing. Do not say anything bad about her... I need a break," Sulane says, looking at Kelly before storming out of the room. 

Kelly answers the phone and they’re quick to head to the supermarket. 

-

“I’m staying in here.” 

“Not again,” Gustavo complains, stepping out of the car, Kelly exits behind him. “Come-” the car door slams in his face. 

“I’ll deal with her later, let’s talk to them,” Kelly directs her boss in the (future) bands direction. 

-

“Well?” Gustavo asks. 

Kendall nods, “okay, I’ll go to L.A. With you and record some demos if… you take my buds and make us a singing group.” 

“Dude!” Carlos adds removing his helmut. 

Logan pulls his soda away from his mouth, muttering, “cold up my nose. Cold up my nose.” 

“Well, you guys said you would go,” the (wanna be) hockey player says. 

“I-I’m sorry. Are you trying to make a deal with me?” Gustavo asks, for clarification. “I make the deals.” 

The blond teen shrugs, “if you want me, you have to take all of us.” 

Gustavo laughs, “have you even heard your friends sing? Oh, that’s right. They can’t.” 

“Well, I’m no mega-producer like you, but I know they sing better than dogs,” Kendall points to the ripped-out page of old magazine James is holding, “and you can turn them into stars, right?” 

The music producer reaches for it and snatches it from his hands, “is this supposed to sway me? I’m Gustavo Rocque. I’m amazing.” He lowers his voice, “I’m amazing. And if you think for one second that I’m so desperate because of two or twenty-two cities that I haven’t been able to find anybody, you can think again, because there is no way, no way Gustavo Rocque is takin’ the four dogs from Minnesota to Los Angeles to make them stars. It’s never gonna happen. Never!” 

“So, we have a deal,” Kendall says. 

“Yep.”  

~ Do you want to ride in a big limousine? ~

The boys started boot camp because Griffin needs a fully functioning band in three days. 

Gustavo turns off the boom box, “okay. So, it’s been an hour and…” 

Kelly interrupts him, “what happened to Mr. X?” 

The boys start explaining what happened. 

Gustavo doesn’t like the sound of any of it and begins shaking. 

Kelly lets out a whimper as she reaches for the soundproof headphones, putting them on before he loses it. 

-

“Should we go check on them?” Jasner asks, his voice echoing through the air vents. 

Sulane shakes her head, “nope.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“If we go, will you stop and get out of the air vents.” 

“Yes, to the stopping. I’m still not so sure about the air vents. It’s really fun up here.” 

She stops at the door, shaking her head, “yeah, I’m not going.” 

“Oh, man.” 

-

Sulane removes her headphones, watching as the boys she grew up with wallow in- whatever it is they have going on. She can’t take it anymore. She pushes the flap of the cabana out of her way, marching towards the fighting group of boys. 

Katie steps up and pushes them in, bringing Sulane down with them. 

The blonde swims to the edge, hauling herself out of the pool with the help of Jasner. 

The two walk away before anyone realizes it was her. 

-

Sulane walks out of her room, meeting Jasner in the hall. 

The two venture down to the pool area for their nightly hangout. 

“Sullie,” Katie squeals, running over to her, wrapping her arms around her waist. 

The blonde girl chuckles, “hey, squirt. Sorry, I might have gotten you a little wet.” 

Katie pulls away and sighs, “I thought you would have forgotten about that.” 

“How could I?” 

“You didn’t talk to us so, I thought you forgot about us.” 

“Ask them.” 

The young sister furrows her brows, wanting to ask her what she means when she finds that Sulane is gone. 

Katie and her mom make their way down to the pool area. 

-

“You what’s funny. We didn’t even get a change to sing together,” Kendall says. Carlos chuckles. 

Sulane rolls her eyes, marching over to the four. 

“Sullie, wait. What are you doing?” Jasner whispers, following her. 

She stops in front of them, “you guys,” she points to the four, “are jerks and idiots.” 

“Sullie?!” 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me. But you four, are idiots.” 

“You think you can just walk over here and call us idiots?” Kendall asks. 

“Yeah, because you are. You clearly fought to bring everyone here because this was, technically James’ dream but you all came here non the less and now you’re about to throw it all away and for what?” 

“You don’t understand-” Logan tries to explain. 

She shakes her head, “no, you don’t. What made you want to do this?” 

“James,” Kendall shrugs. 

“Wrong. What is the one song you can all bond over? The one song that lets you be yourself.” She sighs, “what’s the song that started it all?” 

The boys’ glance at one another. 

“Come on, you know there’s that one song that made this happen.” 

Kendall looks back to his boys and starts singing the classic, “oh, you’re such a turd. Oh, yeah, a giant turd. And you look like a turn, and you smell like a turd.” 

The corner of her lips twitch, she’s quick to prevent the smile from stretching across her lips. 

Jasner begins clapping. 

Sulane turns, placing her hand on his, “no.” She turns back towards the boys, “this is it. This is the spark you’ve needed. Let’s do it again.” 

“Oh, you’re such a turd. Oh, yeah, a giant turd. And you look like a turd, and you smell like a turd. Oh, you’re such a turd. Oh, yeah, a giant turd. And you look like a turd and you…” 

James hops up onto the bench, finishing the song on a strong note, “smell like a turd.” 

Jasner looks at Sulane, “now?” 

She nods, “now.” 

The two of them start clapping, everyone else at the pool area joins in. 

James hops off the bench. 

The boys all laugh, finally enjoying themselves and what they came here to do. 

“There you go. That- that is the fire Gustavo was looking for.” 

They look around, watching as everyone (human and animal) continue clapping for them. 

“She’s got a point, you know,” says Jasner. 

“We should do this. You guys were right. I really think we should do this,” Kendall tells his buddies. 

“How? We got fired, remember?” Logan adds. 

“We didn’t get fired.” He looks around to find Logan and Sulane giving him a look. “I mean, we got fired but the problem is we didn’t try our best.” 

“I tried my best.” 

“We know, James. We know.” 

“So, what are you four gonna do?” Sulane asks, finding herself curious as to how this will play out. 

“We’re gonna need some music, something a little inspirational.” 

“I know how we can do this.” 

“Shut up, Jas.” 

“No,” he shakes his head. “Guitar dude.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Got something a little inspirational?” 

Guitar dude plays a little something. 

Jasner gives him a thumbs up, “awesome. What’s it gonna be? Dump the puck or big time rush?” 

Carlos narrows his eyes at the teen, “how’d you know we play hockey?” 

“I like to travel via air vent and you guys are loud.” 

“Ignore him. What’s your choice?” asks Sulane. 

One by one the boys stand up, saying, “big time rush.” 

-

Gustavo and Kendall stand in front of one another. 

“Well?” The producer asks. 

“Okay, we’ll do it your way. NO goofing off, no pillow fights, and no questions for the next two days,” Kendall tells him.  

“Okay. “Girl Time” from the top,” Gustavo instructs. 

“Except for that. We really don’t wanna sing “Girl Time”.” 

“Oh, let me guess. You have a better idea. Well let’s… Let’s hear it. Let’s hear the dogs’ better song title.” 

“Big time rush,” the blonde answers, pushing her through the boys to stand in front of her boss. 

The boys explain what the song is about. 

“I,” Gustavo extends the letter, “like it also but why is the weird one here?” he points to Jasner. 

“We’ve talked about this.” 

“Now I can’t say my thoughts out loud?” 

Sulane shakes her head, “no.” 

“This is my studio and I’ll so what I want.” He points to the four, “you dogs, in the booth.” 

-

Gustavo settles behind the desk, “okay, “big time rush” from the top. Only, this time, let’s try not to make me want to choke you.” 

The boys start singing.

~ Ah, ah, oh, ohh ~

“What do you think, Griffin?” Sulane asks. 

“Don’t call me by my first name but, I like ‘em, and the board’s gonna love ‘em. You got three months to make your demos. I told you the boy band was back,” Griffin smacks Gustavo’s cheek. 

Sulane tilts her head with her brows knit together, she raises her hand, “actually, I did… because you asked me.” 

No one says anything. 

“I have to go,” Griffin stands up, “my pants are cold.” 

“Is he going to go warm up his pants?” Jasner asks. 

She shrugs, “I don’t know but, it wouldn’t surprise me. He’s weird.” 

“I’m weird.” 

“Weirder than you.” 

“Ew.” 

She groans, shaking her head. 

“Guess who’s stayin’ in L.A.” 

The, now, boy band let out shocked noises. “Yes!” “Yes!” “Ha ha ha!” 

“Stop cheering,” Gustavo instructs. “If you thought the last three days were hard, wait till you see the next three months. Carlos still can’t sing; Logan still can’t dance, and I still can’t stand James.” 

“We’ll work on it,” Kendall reassures him. 

“Okay, now you can celebrate.” 

“Yeah!” 

“Oh, and one more thing. My little assistant here,” the producer points to Sulane, “will be the one to help you dogs better than Kelly or me. If you have questions, ask her.” 

“Yeah,” she nods, “wait- what?” Sulane chases after her boss who high tails it out of the studio. “You can’t be serious! Gustavo get back here!” 

-

The boy’s shoulders deflate, they look as if they’ve been tossed to the side by their favorite person. 

“I- uh- I’m sure things will get better,” Jasner tries to reassure them after stepping into the room. 

“How can you be so sure?” asks Carlos. 

“If she was willing to help you even though, something clearly happened, I’d say your odds of being on her good side again are pretty high.” 

“Do you honestly think that?” Kendall questions him. 

Jasner nods, “yep. Oh, by the way, I’m Jasner,” he holds his hand out for the others to shake. 

“Jasner?” They repeat. 

“Yeah, it’s like an off-brand version of Jasper but instead of a “p” it’s the letter “n”. My parents wanted to give me a cool name in hopes of me being cool.” 

They nod and let out a quiet, “oh.” 

“It didn’t work out so well for them but, who knows. Maybe I’ll finally get my big break as an actor.” 

“You’re here to do acting?” Logan asks, curious as to who this guy is that seems to know the new Sullie. 

“Yep.” 

James seems to have finally found his voice (again), “are you any good?” “I’d like to think so.” 

James glances him up and down, wondering how Jasner could have become friends his Sullie his friend Sullie.    

Previously: Prologue // Continue: Chapter II

[fuck-customers]

(tw ableism, racism)

i never complained about this guy on here but i finally talked to the store lead about this awful guy i work with! said guy, we'll call him don which of course isnt his actual name, is so annoying. for the record, i helped train him, so its not like he's been here for long time. less than a year. anyway, don thinks he's smarter and better than everyone else. he knows everything and everyone else is wrong if they disagree with what he's saying. he's always talking about people behind their backs, and complaining about how no one does their job right, but i guess he does. he's also always spewing some bs about "you should work for satisfaction not money" (girl why are you here then? you hate this job) and "if you really want something you'll get it because you'll do anything for it" and other classist bullshit.

he'll complain about two of our coworkers specifically, who we'll call gina and ben. gina is an older woman, and don is always talking about how she leaves the register to make coffee every hour (gas station, coffee is made every two hours or as needed) and is always away doing something even if there's a line. he also has made some weird comments about the old men who come in and talk to her. he talks about ben the most though, saying he doesnt do anything, he's always disappearing (which, yeah, he does sometimes, but usually i can track him down because i know what he's doing) and calling off (which he used to do, but now he calls off only occasionally, and is definitely not the worst offender in terms of calling off all the time). its also worth noting that ben and gina have been here for years, through multiple managers and store leads and rounds of employees. now, when don and i are at the register, don is usually occupied with stocking cigarettes and the other nicotine products up there, and its nice to have that stuff done, but that means i am the only one ringing people out. even if theres a line. so if someone else leaves him alone at the register, its a problem, but if he leaves me alone, its fine. another thing about ben he doesnt like is his tattoos. ben is a young guy with a ton of tattoos, including face tattoos, and some piercings. don doesn't like that. he was talking about this the other day to me, and he was saying how "businesss shouldn't hire people with tattoos, i wouldn't" (when I told the store lead he said "but there are professionals with tattoos?"), and first off, this is a gas station honey. what i said to don was, "I don't know, I still think those people deserve to eat." he replies, "I don't." i don't know what to say to that.

he also doesn't like me I don't think. we were talking about stuff we have to do, and got on the topic of outside trash, and I said, "Yeah, if I could do outside trash I would, but because of my hand I can't lift the pump trash lids." i have an ongoing issue with my left hand that we think is tendonitis but we aren't sure, and basically i can't put any pressure on any part of my thumb/that part of my palm. to lift the pump trash lids, you have to push inward on the sides with your palm and lift up. obviously i cant do that. but i can lift propane tanks because that's mostly on my fingers. he tells me, "man, i wish i had a brace i could just put in when i didn't want to do something."

my man the other day i sat down on the floor to look for something and i thought it was healed but as soon as i leaned on it i fell because of how much it hurt. I've tried to do pump trash with it, it made it worse.

going back in time, he said something to me that i didn't think much of at the time. he looked up and saod "that's who you remind me of!" and said my voice sounded like his ex girlfriend's. at first i was like okay. whatever. but he mentioned it again later in a way that infuriated me and im about to tell you why.

so, he was going off about "how you should only eat between these times of the day" (directed at me because i mentioned my breakfast that morning? my dude i get up at six for this shift.) and then going off about circadian rhythms and how theres a single set one (which is not true!) and i mentioned that one if the symptoms of adhd is having a circadian rhythm thats out of sync (he knows i have adhd). and then he starts going off about how "no its not, tell me that when its in a medical book" (girl? maybe look at one that isnt outdated) and then that adhd is overdiagnosed (untrue and also a googleable statistic) and pretty much implying that i was just saying i had it to be special and not have to do things, which infuriated me because thats what everyone says about it and what ive been told my whole life, to the point my mom literally had to threaten several schools with legal action because they would not follow my IEP, and then when i said "hey, I'm the one living with this, you aren't," he said "kelly! kelly! you sound so much like her! you're just kelly to me!"

obviously that's kind of a fucked up thing to say.

some other things i hate about this man is that he gets really aggressive when he's frustrated. one day he started slamming things down as he was stocking. he even does it in front of customers! also, as a cherry on top, he was talking to our coworker, and found out she had a lot of black friends, and called her a [n word] lover.

i also know that im not the only person who has problems with him. literally no one likes him. he's always complaining that someone else isnt doing their job right and "if *I* were the manager" and stuff like that. it might be worth mentioning that i only complained because someone suggested i do. i was just going to tough it out for a while since im going back to school soon and will only be dealing with him once a month

one of my coworkers gave me her number if i ever wanted to talk about it, and the store lead said he would try to talk to him (without mentioning me), and this definitely wasn't okay for him to be doing, so we'll see how this goes. also, i think the store lead kept me in the office talking with him (about school and the pandemic and other stuff) for an hour ish so that i wouldn't have to deal with him, since don leaves after an hour of me being there during the week (but we have six hours together on the weekend) so that was nice.

sorry for the long ask. tldr this guys just an all around asshole who doesnt shut up and thinks he's superior to everyone else but my other coworkers are nice people

[super-unpredictable98]

Hero's Confession | Misfits

Pairing: Nathan x Lydia (OC - Hard Candy’ verse) Word Count: around 1 k Warning: Strong language, mention of death

(Masterlist)

"Si, can I borrow your notebook just for a second? I forgot I need to send an email to approve the merch design," I groaned as we finished our drinks after having dinner at Simon's place, it was a double date kind of thing with Alisha and Nathan. "If I don't send it by midnight, my manager's gonna kill me."

"Go ahead, it's on the bed, I think," Simon pointed.

"Isn't it weird t'have your sister sit on the same spot you two shagged on?" Nathan commented with his usual subtle humour. 

"Can you not?" Alisha rolled her eyes. 

"Well, if that was the case, I s'pose Barry wouldn't be able t'sit anywhere when he comes over to ours, y'know what I mean?" he barked a laugh.

"Remind me again why we invited you?" Simon joked.

"I'm your brother-in-law, can't get rid of me! We're family!" Nathan leaned over him, obnoxiously showing he had absolutely no notion of personal space. "Your dad loves me already..."

"The worst part is that he would actually love you, Lyddie got his horrible taste, poor thing," Si pushed him away.

Meanwhile, I could barely hear their conversation, I was looking at the designs for my shirts, jumpers, keychains, hats, posters, and all that. They were lovely, I was very proud of what the design team was able to come up with.

I sent the dreaded email greenlighting everything and asking for a sample of each item as soon as they were ready so I could make sure they were good quality. My night was going amazing, Nathan made some very interesting promises while the others were in the kitchen and things were looking up.

Just as I was about to shut the notebook off though, something caught my attention. Before anyone says it... I know! I shouldn't be going through my brother's stuff, but what is a sibling for if not to go through your stuff? It's my God given right to snoop around as a younger sister (well, technically older, but still younger).

It was a video, it seemed to have been recorded in 2009, right around the time we were all serving our hours. I made sure the others were entertained enough by something else and opened it, keeping the volume as low as possible. 

"She stood here just yesterday," Simon was crying in the video, sobbing in his room and it was dark. "Sally."

Okay, maybe I shouldn't be watching this, I thought to myself, but it was impossible to look away, I just couldn't. It hurt so bad to see my brother so sad, I guess I never really stopped to think about how her death affected him. 

Killing someone wasn't easy, I did it indirectly and it still haunts me sometimes, imagine killing someone you thought you loved and loved you back? 

Before I knew it, I was crying too. Dad used to say when we were kids: Simon can never cry without Blossom starting too. I hated to see him sad ever since I first understood what sadness was, so that video broke my heart. I guess he kept it just in case someone ever finds the bodies, which was even worse.

Part of me really missed those times, the community service, spending our days together getting into unimaginable adventures in our super-powered comic book fantasy, defeating villains like we were playing a game. 

And I miss my silly boyfriend Nathan with the Community Blowback on his jumpsuit, trying to figure out his power. And I miss the time Kelly never had her hair down. And I miss teaching my students in my tiny flat and imagining how my career would be. And I miss Simon, all awkward, not yet knowing what he was capable of, with that silly emo hair, and shirt buttoned all the way up, in his room with that silly space-themed wallpaper I chose for him when I was three.

But seeing him like that, suffering, made me stop wishing we could go back. He was happy now, he was loved and smiling way more than I've ever seen before. He's like a flower that finally bloomed. I guess glow-ups are a thing in our family.

"If this comes out, I want you to tell them I killed Tony, and Gary," he looked straight at the camera. "I want whoever sees this to know I'm not a psycho, I'm not a weirdo. I do things for a reason, I did it for a reason. I did it for you, my friends. I did it for my friends."

I stared at the screen for a minute unable to move, my tears drying on their own. Si was a hero, he always has been even when he didn't know it. He was gonna take the fall for all of us, he killed the first woman he ever had a connection with because of us. I never admired him more than I did when I realized it. 

"SIMON!" I put the computer aside and ran into his arms, crying on his shoulder like I used to do when mum would tell me no.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" he gently stroked my back, looking at Nathan as if expecting an answer, but my husband simply shrugged, equally confused.

"You're not a psycho or a weirdo, you're my hero," I managed to say.

"Stop lyin' t'your brother, that's not nice," Nate teased.

"What are you talking about?" Alisha asked, slightly worried.

"I saw the video, he was gonna confess to the murders so we wouldn't get arrested," I explained. "And you didn't even know I was your sister."

"Aw, Lyds," Simon squeezed me with a chuckle, not at all the reaction I was expecting. "But you were my friend, you were the first person to talk to me, to give me a chance. I never felt like I belonged until I met you lot."

"Y'were goin' to jail for me?" Nathan's eyes grew wide.

"For all of you, not you specifically-"

"I knew y'loved me, Barry, but I didn't know it was that much!" he cried dramatically.

"Cut it out, I didn't mean it like that."

"You're also my best friend! I love you too, Barry!"

"Please don't, you loved me once and it was horrible!" 

"What d'you mean? I'm an incredibly skilled lover, ask your sister!" Nathan huffed.

"But seriously, thank you," I murmured. "You really are my hero."

Tag List: @seanfalco @holidayspirits @salvador-daley @firstpersonnarrator

[scribblingfangirl]

WITH LOVE, THE GOSTS | Julie and The Phantoms - Part Three

.•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•.

Author’s Note: I decided that this fic trilogy occurs a year after the season one final, making Julie and Y/N almost (or already) 17. Also… this part turned out waaay longer than expected. Which is why there is going to be a fourth part because I have one last idea but didn’t want to rush to write it. And to think this all started because of a rushed (haha) 1k Oneshot. I should really start to write more spontaneously, it seems like good things come out of it. Anyway, Enjoy! :D

Songs mentioned in this chapter (in this order): Now or Never & Wake Up by JaTP | Don't Stop Me Now by Queen | Rude by MAGIC! | Don’t Laugh At Me by Mark Wills | Don’t You Worry ’Bout a Thing by Tori Kelly | Still Learning by Halsey | Ayo Technology by 50 Cent | My version of My Name Is Luke by Trevor Wilson | Let’s Forget About It by Lisa Loeb | Let's Just Get Naked Lyrics by Joan Osborne | Hey by Pixies

word count: ~ 3.9k

summary: Even after meeting the boys they still aren’t tired of helping you out and they each have their own little ways to do it.

warnings:  // (english is not my first language, not beta-read)

| PART ONE | PART TWO |

.•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•.

Knowing that ghosts existed was an absurd feeling (even though you had always believed or hoped that there was more out there than just this world, especially with all those planets that had been discovered by NASA), but knowing that there were three certain ghosts that liked you enough to kindly haunt you, well… that was just plain unimaginable somehow. Yet, still less anxiety awakening than you expected. 

After Julie let you meet the guys for the first time you thought you were prepared to accept that you would not be able to talk to them unless they played something (after all, you had Flynn to groan about that), but the occasional giggle from Julie and her glances into nothing still sent chills down your spine.

So you started to always look around very suspiciously whenever you were over at her house and make obscene hand movements just to be sure that the boys would move before you walked somewhere or sat down (which just earned chuckles from Flynn and annoyed sighs from Julie - “Just because you can’t see them, doesn’t mean they can’t see you. They know where you are, so please stop, or else my dad will call your parents and send you to Dr Turner as well.” The boys found it hilarious and liked to imitate you whenever they came too close to you.) 

The boys also still kept doing little things for you, just not so in secret anymore (though… Reggie was never one for subtlety). Whenever you seemed to have had a bad day (or whenever they just wanted to make you smile) you knew you could count on them having something prepared for you. 

You soon discovered that anything related to food (which sometimes were extremely odd and bizarre combinations) was Luke’s doing (except for pizza and meatballs, according to Julie that was always Reggie). And you knew it was Alex whenever it was something more calm and soothing, yet sometimes a little bit clumsy. And whenever it was blatantly obvious and/or slightly weird (in a good way!) it was Reggie. 

Well, no. Not always in a good way. One time you came back from school and your whole room was filled with glitter and butterflies and a small note with a little ‘Sorry!’ on it was pinned to your desk - cleaning that had been a pain in the a-. But you couldn’t be angry at Reggie, even though you weren’t quite sure what his ultimate goal would have been. 

Speaking of REGGIE...

All those helpful little deeds and nice gestures were always done within the limits of your house (mostly room) or Julie’s house and the studio, which is why you almost let out a loud yelp when suddenly during a math test your pen started to move on his own, filling out the empty space (because yes, you hadn’t been doing very much other than staring helplessly at the paper in front of you). Quickly you grabbed the pen as well (loosely and while trying to ignore the fact that you were practically holding hands with one of the guys) so that nobody would see a floating pen as you did a few weeks ago at Christmas.

From the corners of your eyes, you saw Julie slightly move her head towards you, as if she was listening to you - or rather someone right beside or behind you. ‘Of course. I can’t see them, so the only way to help me is by physically grabbing the pen, but Julie can hear and see them, so they (whoever this is - because let’s be honest, none of the guys really looks like a math genius) only have to tell her the corrects solutions and how to get there. My money’s on Alex.’

You were kind of shocked, and weirdly proud when Julie came up to you after class and said: “Reggie’s not so questionable after all, huh?” (Though… you should’ve guessed it, you did say subtlety wasn’t Reggie’s strong suit.) So you just giggled and shook your head while leaving some of your books in your locker (alongside the fact that Reggie was probably almost (if not!) hugging you from behind - you shuddered at that thought, it’s not like you were already awkward around living boys your age, no need to add ghosts to that list!)

A week later you and Julie entered the studio with blank faces and hanging shoulders. Julie threw a weak little wave towards the piano and sighed while you threw the blankets and snacks you were holding carelessly on the ground and let yourself fall face-first onto the couch, not being able to hide your smile anymore.

“We got our math exams back… yes the one Reggie helped us with.”

You couldn’t see what Julie was doing, but you heard her gasp and whisper “No! Reggie…” after a while. Then she was standing beside you, nudging your shoulder and willing you to sit up, but you didn’t bulge, needing a few more seconds to wipe the smile off your face again.

Faking to disgruntledly accept defeat as Julie’s nudges got stronger (the couch was really comfortable, you totally understood Luke now) you sat up and looked at Julie. “Who’s going to tell them?” you said with a heavy voice and felt how the couch dipped beside you. Raising your eyebrows you quickly glanced to the side (obviously not seeing anybody or anything) and looked back at Julie questioningly. 

She nodded, telling you that it was indeed Reggie and gave you the okay to drop the bomb.

You sighed as you turned back around, facing the wall on the other side of the studio and hoped that Reggie would ignore the fact that you were probably talking to his ear or something. “So Reggie… the help you gave us on the math final? Well…,” you couldn’t keep your face straight any longer and jumped onto the couch, “WE ACED IT! I WOULD HUG YOU IF YOU WEREN’T MADE OUT OF CUTE AIR!” (Okay… maybe there was a little bit too much serotonin involved.)

Julie added smiling, “And I’m happy to announce that due to my good grades my father allowed Julie and The Phantoms to play at the upcoming Summer Music Festival!”

A guitar riff filled the studio, followed by a short drum intro and with a ‘puff!’ the boys appeared in front of you, beaming and glowing at the news. Reggie even threw a wink at you when you smiled back and said: “Thank you!”

Don't look down 'Cause we're still rising Up right now And even if we hit the ground We'll still fly Keep dreaming like we'll live forever But live it like it's now or never!

This allowed LUKE…

The music festival was an experience you would never forget. You were very happy Ray managed to persuade your parents to let you accompany Julie (sadly Flynn had no such luck). Not only did you turn 17 and the boys made sure to have the whole crowd sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to you (as soon as you were back home you would add an extra point to your to-do: ‘find out how to kill ghosts a second time’), but the boys rocked the stage and Julie stood up taller and shined brighter than ever before. 

Gone (yet not forgotten) were the painful shocks and the fear of never performing again and the serenity of the guys was visible. 

It was the last night of the music festival when Julie got the phone call from her father. He would come by to get her the next morning and they would drive directly to visit other family members and spend the rest of the summer holidays there. 

Of course, Julie was excited to see her cousins and aunts and uncles again, but she also felt bad to leave you to drive back alone (you had come with your car jam-packed with all the necessary equipment you needed and that wasn’t provided by the festival).

“Don’t worry! It’s only a four-hour drive! I’ve got good music, podcasts and audiobooks to keep me company and back home Flynn will be waiting. It sadly looks like I’m going to survive without you.” 

Early the next morning Julie and some newfound fans of Julie and The Phantoms helped you load the equipment into your car and you said goodbye to Julie. Expecting the boys to just directly puff back to Los Feliz you didn’t waste any time and entered your car, connected your phone with the stereo and started to blast your favourite Broadway musicals.

You must’ve been on the road for half an hour when suddenly the playlist stopped and ‘Wake Up’ started to play.

So wake that spirit, spirit!

Confused you scrunched up your nose and touched the touch screen displaying the music system, trying to change it back to your playlist. But instead, the music changed yet again.

(Don't stop me now) 'Cause I'm having a good time (Don't stop me now) Yes, I'm havin' a good time I don't want to stop at all

“What the hell?” you muttered, staring at your stereo for a quick second before focusing back on the road, “Why you always going crazy on me dude?”

Once again the music switched.

Why you gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human too?

It took you a hot minute to understand what was going on and then you couldn’t stop laughing. 

Don't laugh at me, don't call me names Don't get your pleasure from my pain

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you said mockingly, looking at the empty passenger seat, guessing that that’s where your invisible friend was sitting. “Your pain? I’m not the one who is able to puff wherever and whenever their heart desires and who sneaks up on innocent people.”

Silence. 

“For what it’s worth. I’m sorry. I really am. It’s not like you choose this life, you deserved better than this. But I’m really glad I was able to get to know you. I’m really thankful for the light and happiness you brought back into Julie’s life.”

Don't you worry 'bout a thing

But I'm still learnin' to

using technology

You laughed. “Impressive skills nevertheless. Knowing three fitting songs and then changing them at the right time? Let me guess, Luke? Because I don’t think all of you three would fit into my tiny car full of musical equipment.”

At first, there was no music yet again, but then the slow melody of a (for you) well-known song flooded your car. It was the one Trevor Wilson song you never understood until you met the boys, the one song that was so totally different to his usual rock sound (except for the refrains, which, as you later would find out, were parts of the original lyrics Luke wrote for his version of the song).

I sing to remember the stories that used to be But I don’t write to create what could have been And as I scream words into the darkness around me They come out like a dying whisper

The kindest thing to do is to silence them and let them die To unleash my heartfelt sorrow into the sky  And diminish the will to fight That pulses like fire and screams with pain through my veins

But life’s not always beautiful, it’s rare So I’mma chase it, watch you make it

Don’t need to introduce himself You will want to know his name Pushing your foundations down  He is here to stay

Don’t call him a breeze when he’s a hurricane Don’t call him a tremble when he’s an earthquake Don’t call him an inconvenience Please just say his name

Leaving lyrics in my hands That I swallow like pills Like hurtful words, they rip and claw And press painfully against my chest

But no matter how painful they are I will soak them up, thinking of our hopes and wishes And as each word pushes a new pulse through my veins I keep staring out on the grave of our shared space of mind

Life’s not always beautiful, but it’s rare So I’mma chase it, watch you make it

Don’t need to introduce himself You will want to know his name Pushing your foundations down  He is here to stay

Don’t call him a spark when he’s a lightning bolt Don’t call him a flicker when he’s a raging flame Don’t you dare to underestimate him Please just say his name

But even when the word flood finally comes to an end Fidgeting hands remind me of music never played

I owe him my voice I owe him my sound

So I give him this time I give him this space To sing it out loud To let him declare And let me be proud

What’s his name? (His name is Luke!) What’s his name? (His name is Luke!) What’s his name? (His name is Luke!)

How long do we say his name? (Until we explode!)

My name is Luke! (Tell your friends!)

Tears were rolling down your cheeks, the song now more emotional than ever before. You couldn’t imagine how this song must affect Luke. Thinking that his bandmate abandoned him (which honestly… he kind of did, only mentioning him in one song, not giving any money to their parents and so on) up until he heard the song for the first time.

“Luke…”

Forget about it Let's forget about it

The ensuing silence wasn’t awkward. You hummed along to the music Luke selected, sometimes it were old classics (probably his favourites), other times it seemed to be random newer hits he probably never heard before mixed with some songs from your favourite playlists.

It was nearing midday and your stomach made itself known. As if on cue a road sign hinted at a diner just up ahead. Setting the blinker you pulled into the parking lot a few moments later.

“I hope you don’t mind. I know home’s only like an hour away, but...” you began to trail off, not knowing where to look at and your stomach finished your sentence. And before you were able to grab the door handle it sprung wide open. 

“Uh, what a gentleman. Thank you very much.”

The meal was over in a flash and once more you realised how much the boys actually knew about you without having actually interacted with you (perks of seeing other people without being seen themselves?). 

It’s like Luke could read your wishes just from your facial expressions. Whenever you needed salt or pepper they were right there. Whenever something was too salty or had too much pepper on your drink was being pushed closer to your side. And when you accidentally spilt something and needed more napkins they magically appeared.

When you then spotted a cute little guitar keychain that reminded you of Luke that was being sold as a souvenir at the check-out it was suddenly safely tucked into your back pocket (though that was really really risky, and while you did not condone it you couldn’t really stop a ghost).

Back in your car, you didn’t even bother to turn on the stereo, knowing that Luke would take over as soon as your hands were on the steering wheel again. 

However, a glance to your right presented you with a map of your surroundings, a big x hastily drawn over the Silverwood Lake in San Bernardino, which was basically just around the corner.

“You want to go swimming? We- I just ate! And my bathing suit is somewhere under that mountain of equipment on the backseat.”

Let's just get naked, just for a laugh Let's just get naked It's a trip and a half

You laughed at that, rolling your eyes and shaking your head, before stowing the map away and turning on the car. “I guess catching Reggie in the shower isn’t enough anymore?”

Hey!

“You started making it weird buddy.”

It had started to rain when you finally pulled up in your driveway, but you couldn’t be bothered to rush inside, enjoying the feeling of the cooling wetness on your skin.

“Look at that,” you said to nobody in particular, not knowing if Luke was still around or if he puffed back to the garage, “I didn’t even need to go swimming after all.”

He was. Sitting in the passenger seat, face on his arms while he leaned on the open car window, he watched you dance in the rain with a smile on his face. He was glad he decided to stick around and keep you company on that road trip. You gave him the courage to listen to My Name Is Luke for the first time (and getting to see you smile while showing off his impressive music knowledge was a bonus too). Because without knowing, you were doing little deeds for the boys too.

And made ALEX…

Whoever wrote that “Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain”-quote totally forgot to mention how dangerous small summer storms can be. 

Well sure, it might have been your fault for staying out for too long and deciding to let the sun that came out a little bit later dry you instead of changing into fresh and dry clothes, but whatever happened happened and you got sick. (It’s not like you had anything better to do during the last few days of your summer holidays, right?) 

Flynn had been a great friend and hung out almost daily at your house, playing board games, watching movies or tv or even just discussing upcoming Julie and The Phantoms possibilities with you. But your dearest little helper had been Alex.

The blond drummer had turned into the tall brother you never had but always wanted (focus on tall because the age thing with ghosts is seriously confusing) even if he was invisible to you 100% of the time. You had the same interests and were able to bond without actually having to say any words, little gestures and reciprocations on your side were more than enough.

Julie had come up with an easy solution and had bought you some of those sound buzzers (like the ones that dogs and cats use to communicate with their owners) and recorded some simple words and phrases the boys liked to use on them. Now the boys just had to press them to be able to communicate with you without having to use pen and paper or Julie herself (sure your parents were a little bit weary and confused, but you said it was for a longer school research project and that shut them up).

Now, feeling way better than during the last few days, but still very tired, you were sitting in your bed, not really focused on the tv show (or was it a movie?) that was playing on your computer. You had been contemplating and mentally preparing yourself to get something to eat and to drink for the past 15 minutes, but the thoughts alone were exhausting and binding you to the bed. Just then a tray with a water bottle, meds and a fruit bowl floated into your room. 

Suddenly wide awake and full of energy you clumsily jumped out of your bed and grabbed the tray, throwing a quick glance out of the door to see if your parents were around and slammed the door shut, wincing at the loud sound and hoping that Alex had walked out of the way (not that it would have hurt him, but you know - rude).

“Rude.” 

See? He thought the same. (Julie had to specifically add this word for Alex.) 

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. But I would like not to get murdered or have Sam and Dean Winchester on my back because my parents think I’m possessed and need to be exorcised.”

“Me.”

“You what?”

“Me.”

“Alex… I need more context.”

“I do. Me.”

You just blinked blankly at the sound buzzers, trying to piece together what Alex was trying to say.

“Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. M-”

“THAT’S ENOUGH Y/N! WHATEVER THAT SCHOOL PROJECT IS, TELL IT I HEARD IT AND I DON’T CARE WHAT IT WANTS!” you heard your father's scream come muffled through the door.

The audience laughter from sitcoms filled your room and you groaned, grabbing a pillow and smashing it against your face.

Faintly you heard the telltale sound of a pen scribbling something on paper and when you peeked from behind the pillow a note was floating in the air in front of you. “You mean exorcise ME! You would be the one surviving!” 

“What? Oh my god… yeah okay, YOU get exorcised… same thing. Both aren’t allowed to happen. Forgive my fever brain.”

“No.”

“Fork you, Alex.”

“No.”

“I have Carlos on speed-dial, I’m sure he already came up with other methods to get rid of ghosts other than the salt thing. He already told me that he’s sorry and that he thinks I might get haunted by you too with the amount of time I spend at their house.” 

“No. Food.”

Confused at that topic change it took you a few seconds to answer. “What?” Looking around your gaze landed on the tray that you had deposited on your desk. “Oh right! Boy, I completely forgot how thirsty and hungry I am. Did I say thank you? Fang u!” you mumbled with your mouth full of fruit. 

“No. Food.”

You swallowed down your food and took a big gulp of water. “Yes Alex, thank you. I am eating. You see? Here I am, here’s the food. The food is here and now whoops - ifs gan!”

You could basically feel the annoyance radiating from the ghost and weren’t really shocked when the pen started to scribble something down again.

“No! Argh!” He really wrote Argh… that dork really wrote Argh! “You can be worse than Reggie sometimes, but you do it on purpose and I’m just sorry for Reggie. A) Carlos thinks he got rid of us by making a french dip and B) You’re awfully lively for a supposedly sick person. I might need to use the buzzers more and see what other reactions I can provoke from your parents.”

Crumbling the note in your hands you thought ‘Challenge accepted’. “You know what? I think I’mma go back on Reggie’s offer and actually let him introduce me to Wilbur. He might know some stuff I could use to blackmail you. And you’re right! I feel much better, just very tired, but that’s nothing a little bit of fresh air can’t fix! Toodles!” 

You left your room, leaving a flabbergasted ghost behind who had lost his snapback with the number of times he had been combing through his hair with his hands. And while angrily pressing a pink buzzer, the buzzer wasn't the only thing that screamed “WILLIAM!” after the girl. (That was another important sound Alex wanted to have recorded.)

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Taglist: @sunsetcurvej​​ @ifilwtmfc​

[ambiguousdisorderken]

help! a thought a thought!

s13: cas comes back from the empty without his grace and jack is very much a baby.

cas promised kelly he'd look after him, but despite all those parenting books qnd online forums, looking after a nephil is no easy task, curiously more so when it comes to jack's human wants and needs. he sees the winchesters’ intent tohelp, but jack is his charge, and cas is going to protect and look after this kid with his own limited resources even if it kills him. in return, he gets apologetic and compassionate looks from both the brothers, but dean's gaze is also... stern? no, serious. it's as if he's holding back.

cas feels judged.

at the end of one such days in which jack is being extremely... difficult, cas all but collapses. funny how an angel of the lord who once led heavenly armies and would annihilate on command like a good soldier has been brought to the brink of tears by an adorable chubby-cheeked infant with a penchant for making cas feel guilty for arguably being the worst parental figure in the whole of history. well, surely not as bad as abraham or ivan vasilyevich. cas would never harm a single blond hair on jack’s precious little head, but he’s not a good.

he's so immersed in his own frustration that he doesn't notice the door opening or the familiar weight of steps across the bedroom. he does notice the sudden shadow, and he definitely notices when jack's being taken from him by a pair of hands he rebuilt himself with the utmost care, never suspecting how he'd yearn for their touch years down the line.

dean is good with kids. he had to be. right now though, with jack? he doesn't have to be good, but he is, he's excellent. obviously better than castiel, since in less than a couple minutes jack’s long-winded on-and-off tantrum morphed into silence and then giggles. jack's actually delighted, toothless smile and happy squeals and little fists thrown in the air.

'how did you...?' cas asks stunned, wiping from his eyes the treacherous evidence of his failed parenting.

dean raises an eyebrow, but turns his face when jack's tiny hand pets his jaw. dean makes faces then, his beautiful features contorting into expressions cas had never seen. jack, laughs and curls up against dean's chest, face hiding in the junction between his neck and chin.

jack closes his red-rimmed eyes and sighs contentedly.

'dude. babies are all about vibes, man. they can sense shit, and you being all stressed out was not helping.'

cas looks down at his hands and feels every ounce of his inadequacy being maximized to stand as tall as the chrysler building.

'i... thought it'd be easier, dean. i try, i do. but jack... of course it's not his fault, that’s not what i’m saying. it's mine. he doesn't seem happy with me, and he obviously does not like me.'

dean stops rocking jack and sits on the bed next to cas, his face schooled into that expression cas has seen but can't tell the meaning of.

this time dean doesn't hold back though.

'one, that's a load of bullcrap. kid loves you. you're his dad, remember?' it's weird being admonished by dean on this particular subject, but if anyone would know about raising kids, that'd dean. he continues, 'which brings me to point number two. cas, babies are not easy. no parent has it all figured out, no matter how many books you read or how old you are. it's totally normal to hit a few bumps in the road, trust me.'

cas sighs, relieved by dean's soothing words of wisdom.

but cas' self-doubt must be a thousand-headed beast, experience has taught him many things, and right now that means he knows, from experience, that he's most likely to mess things up with jack as soon as dean hands him back.

he misses his powers. if he were still an angel he'd be able to bond with jack through their grace, and they’d have a more meaningful connection. or not.

dean, wonderful as he is, is only a human, and in less than five minutes he got jack wrapped around his finger. maybe even all “juiced-up” cas would be just as lacking.

'i wish i had your nurturing skills' cas confesses.

dean clears his throat.

'you have them' he says.

cas looks up and meets dean's determined yet nervous eyes. confused, cas clarifies, 'no, i meant i wish i could-'

dean cuts in, 'i know what you meant, cas. but i meant you have, uh, my... "nurturing skills" or whatever. because you have me. okay, cas? you have me.'

'oh?'

cas hopes, he does. but he isn't good at articulating his feelings when it comes to dean. perhaps cas learned it from him. after all, once he used to be able to declare his thoughts without flinching or feeling apprehensions of any kind.

but, when it comes to dean, he's afraid of saying the wrong thing, of saying too much.

dean continues, making what he can with cas' poor response, 'if you want, of course. and i mean... you're doing great with the little rugrat, cas, but normal babies are a handful and jack's half freaking angel. i know it's tough, and i don't like seeing you all...' he waves in cas' direction. baby-stained rumpled clothes and face worn, dark circles under the eyes are apparently not a very good look on him. he shouldn't be offended, but it still stings a bit, knowing he's doing a bad enough that his whole body is living proof of it.

'dean, you don't have to,' he replies.

'but i want to,' dean says without skipping a beat.

jack sighs happily.

'let me take care of him. with you.' his green eyes search into cas', his pitch slightly higher and his tone pleading, 'just let me help you, cas. please. we' re a - a good team, you and i. we've gone through shit must people can't even begin to imagine, so i think we can do this' his shoulder bumps gently against cas' arm. 'watcha' say, pal. wanna raise a baby together?'

cas stares back in shock, failing to taper down his burgeoning hope. but dean cannot mean what cas wants him to mean. it's not like that with them. they're friends. best friends. but do best friends raise kids together? he shouldn't poke at this.. thing, but the need to know is overpowers his better judgment, so his next words could very well be the last ones he uttered before getting his heart irreparably torn to shreds.

'i thought only couples raised children together, dean.'

dean huffs and rolls his eyes, 'that nuclear family crap is a big fat lie, cas. white picket-fence propaganda. there are many types of families in the world. not everyone gets to have a mom who lives long enough to raise her children or a dad who gives a fuck if his kids ate, consumed by a piss-poor avenger complex.'

of course. he should've known. absorbed by his own selfish wants, dean's complicated upbringing slipped from cas' mind, and now he's made the conversation awkward if dean's hesitancy is any indication to go by.

cas stays silent.

'but,' dean starts, his cheeks are colored red and he blinks twice then once again, keeping watery eyes at bay. 'we could do that too, cas. if that's.. if you'd, um, like that. you and me and this little one.'

dreaming. cas must be dreaming.

'like a family?' he asks suspiciously.

'like a family' dean says guarded.

but.

and because he needs to be sure, and dean probably didn't realize the very non-platonic implication of his statement, he asks 'like a... couple?'

'yes' the word is breathed out with pleasure and dean smiles at him warmly and openly, and he looks so beautiful like this, sitting on cas' bed with a sleepy jack safely tucked against his body.

'okay' cas says, because he doesn't know the etiquette for this specific scenario, and besides, they have to keep their voices low and their movements subtle if they want to keep jack from stirring awake.

'alright' dean says. then dean turns to whisper something in jack's ear, but the words are easily carried across what little space rests between them.

'heard that, baby? i’m gonna take good care of you and your daddy from now on.'

so, they take care of jack together. cas' parenting skills improve rather quickly, dean's natural instincts are lifesavers, and every day the three of them become happier and better rested. endless nights of cuddling will do that to you. in short, dean and cas raise their baby like a couple, and, with jack, they are, in every sense of the word, a family.