#and. as always. I'm STILL not going to be mad at 'secret stones'. UGH kills immersion for me every. single. time.

[thecluelessdoctor]

It's rambling time

*CRAWLS OUTTA WELL WITH A COMEDICALLY LARGE BACKPACK FULL OF NOTES*

I love totk. Don't get me wrong. I love it. But HOLY HELL TO I WANNA STRANGLE WHO EVER THOUGHT 'HEY MAN LETS GET RID OF ALL THE SHEIKAH TECH OTHER THAN LIKE- TWO GUARDIANS' LIKE EXSQUEEZE ME?? MY BABIESSSS/HJ

But on a serious note, I hate the fact how not only Zelda's character development go backwards, it forced a very black and white view on Hyrule. Rauru and kingdom of Hyrule good, Ganondorf bad. Like. What??? EXSQUEEZE ME.

Okz sure, Ganondorf did murder Sonia and steal a secret stone, and attack Hyrule, but like. Let's just- also note this. If the gerudo have a similar story to the sheikah, the kingdom of Hyrule, aka Rauru forced their hand into surrender.

Though I do like the 'keep your loved ones close and your enemies closer' trope (waiting for the ship art/j)

Let me note here, I am rather young, and Botw is what introduced me into LOZ. So. I still have a lot to learn. Anyway! On ward! (Also warning spoilers for TOTK jsndhdbdbdbd)

*sits down on a grassy patch, unpacking bag*

So!! Oh brother where to I start. Let's start with Zelda first because oh my hylia does it hurt.

Ok.

So, Zelda finds out about Zonai and the thing under Hyrule castle, it's understandable that she would be curious! It was established that she was a curious person.

Anyway, she gets yeeted into the past with a TIME power?!? WHAT. I mean it would explain why it took so long for her light power to wake the fuck up, but still?? It feels so random and forced.

Also in BOTW she spends one HUNDRED years keeping a calamity from destroying hyrule, and now suddenly she can't do jack in TOTK?!? EXSQUEEZE ME. WHAT. SHE MAKES A DAGGER GO BACK IN TIME. wOw- link mastered the power in a day- (I'm sorry but I have so many link rambles)

I just MY BRAIN HURTS. also I just- what the fuck happened to the sheikah?!

Yeah we are talking about this now. Like- fuckers are forgotten by EVERYONE- what happened to the shrines?! OR THE GIANT ASS DIVINE BEASTS LIKE WHERE ARE YOU RUDANA- *SOBS* Oh yeah and let's not forget the fact the champions have been forgotten basically. And Sidon moved the statue of his dead sister to make a statue of link riding him. Don't take that out of context. Also how the fuck did they get rid of the lynel up the mountain like?! Even if link killed it for them it would come back every time- endless building there made it so it couldn't come back there-??? Didn't know monsters had manners. I just- UGH.

Ah yes back to the sheikah tech. Everyone, even the sheikah have forgotten it like bruh. Even if it was like- 8 years since BOTW still- they couldn't have suddenly found everything and got rid of the shrines???

Like- the yiga clan (yes fucks I am talking about them) the yiga clan giving up learning about the sheikah for the Zonai makes sense- because the yiga clan has the depth now- and, they didn't have as much *known* access to sheikah tech. But like- PURAH FOR EXAMPLE- WHY WOULD SHE FORGET ABOUT THE TECH SKDNDJHR- IDC HOW HOT YOU ARE IM MAD AT YOU FOR THAT!

Oh and *SIGHS* lemme talk about the sages. No no, not the ones WE know now, I mean the ones of past. I hate them. The only one I like is the one of the gorons because of that one line he says

Me too buddy, me too/j

Anyway.

I wanna fucking murder these sages. Do they all share the same brain cell??? Other than you Mineru I like you.

Wait hold on that's meme potential. SOMEONE DRAW THE SAGES HAVING THE SAME BRAINCELL/HJ

But I just

I hate them.

So much.

Now let me talk about the best characters in TOTK. Besides kogha.

Farosh, Dinraal, and Naydra.

Dear golly I love these dragons. I vibe with them.

Now it's time for my personal favorite topic

THE YIGA CLAN

I love them. And. Yeah

Though I'm very sad about the missed potential for them. Also is it just me or is almost every yiga a dude..

Idk what to say. Just. I love them. And. Kogha better come back or I will cry/J he always comes back-(I'm sorry)

And the last topic of the evening

Link.

I have

Thoughts

Uhm

Ok less about link I love him but like the fact he's so chill about the fact he doesn't have a arm and now has the arm of a furry might say smt.

But at least in BOTW impa is like 'hey you sure your ready to take on what's next and save hyrule' but now it's like 'fucker go do this this and this and go look at the funny ass paintings on the ground' like. Damn ok. ;-;

I can't tell you how much I stalled playing totk. I had such a hard time finishing regional phenomenon. It just- wasn't fun. I knew what to expect, and what was going to happen. So. Yeah.

But I did really like Rito Village. And gorons town. They basically got addicted to drugs and I am ALL FOR IT (not drugs. Don't do drugs) but the Zora's felt... Boring. I mean they felt boring in botw but it got worse. Personally I thought the gerudo were the most boring in botw which is saying something because I got to sneak through the yiga hide out and Rob Kogha. But the zora felt- basic like. Yeah. At least everything else caused you damage or made things harder- the shroud made navigation hard, snow caused damage, the meat roast made conversion harder

But the zora? The sludge just- made you slower??? Idk man.

And omg. Do Sidon and yona make me mad. YEAH, HATE ME FOR IT SIDON FANS!! like people hate yona bc she's engaged to sidon. Personally I dislike them both. Like- Sidon lost the spark that made him- him! And yona- yona is just annoying. Like fuck off mipha copy.

And oh my hylia the MUCKDROCK- I hate it. No. No I loath it. Like what the fuck are you your fucking shrimp.

And it's fight wasn't even that hard. It was just annoying. Like- colagara in my opinion was the easiest, but it was super fun. But the muchdrock? He sucked.

Also btw- before the wrap up, has anyone found the smoldering coliseum and got zants helm??? Just me? Ok :') apparently it's the ice verison of the thunder helm. Now I think there is a fire one.. hmMmmm

Anyway! That wraps up the ramble!