#and you know. there aren't many of us. like 8 million. so i'm betting no one really knows much

[bookwyrminspiration]

ooh what is ayyám-i-há?

!! I would love to explain! Basically, in the Baha'i faith the calendar is split into 19 months (jalál/glory, qawl/speech, etc), and each is 19 days long. However, that doesn't add up to a complete 365/366 day solar year, it leaves 4-5 days in-between.

Those intercalary days are ayyám-i-há! To round out the year, those days are when we celebrate and come together, a time of giving, generosity, hospitality, charity, friendship etc. At my local center, every kid would bring a small gift, the adults would hide them around the biggest room there, and then we'd go on a little scavenger hunt and whatever gift you found first was yours! Got my juggling balls that way :)

It comes right before the fast, so it's a time of indulgences before that restraint. It's basically a time to be joyous and celebrate life and community and giving--the Baha'i faith highly values community and unity. There's no specific way to celebrate, and it's also open to anyone who wants to participate! Hence why I brought it up, I figured I could share a little bit of my life and background since so many others have done the same.

I could probably say more, but that's a good overview of what ayyám-i-há is :)

[amaiguri]

Wanna see the business side of story-based games?

Me! I want to! 👋 Hi, I'm Amaiguri. I'm a full time gamedev and I've released two games before and correctly predicted how much money I would make each time! Wow!

I've been considering converting the webfic I write into a story game of some kind -- a visual novel or a RPGmaker game or maybe even a walking sim? But I didn't know what I wanted to make!

This story has been THE STORY of my early adult life here -- it is SO important to me. So, while I'm a huge advocate of making whatever you want, I wanted to ensure whatever I put my effort into would be VAGUELY marketable. (Because, lemme tell you, webnovels are not marketable XD)

Before I dive in too deeply, **BIG DISCLAIMER**:

I am not a business person. I am using big, wide guestimates to make non-essential business decisions with myself. BUT I want to share my learnings with you. So, take everything I say with a grain of salt and JOIN ME on this journey:

Earlier this month, I made a post about wanting to make a visual novel. Specifically, a kinetic visual novel where you don't make choices and you just read basically. SO I've now done research into how well they sold. I used THIS website to determine how much money each of these games made (VERY loosely):

Juniper's Knot: ~$4k USD

Higurashi (The Whole Series): ~$300k USD (Averaging like 400 reviews per game and $50 for the whole bundle)

House in Fata Morgana: ~$1 million USD

I picked these out mostly because these are the small handful of kinetic novels I have actually heard about. I'm not saying there aren't other, more successful ones I haven't heard about but I figure, if I'm supposed to be representative of my target audience, I'm as good of a sample as any for this wild estimation.

Besides, Higurashi has a whole anime -- it is definitely fair to use that as an upper end -- and Juniper's Knot -- a tiny game no one has heard of -- as the lower end. (I mean, $0 is the lower end, but... you know...)

This paints a pretty stark picture, honestly. Like, this is looking at 6 to 8 years of work for... maybe a couple thousand for me? Realistically? Maybe up to $300k if I'm super lucky and go viral? And I'm not saying that isn't LIFE CHANGING money but like in the MOST MIRACULOUS scenario here, I am compensated less than my current salary for my current magnum opus. But realistically, I'm looking at maybe $1-4k if I get lucky. I'm not a horror-writer and I'm not a romance writer -- I will not have THAT feral of a fanbase XD And on top of all of that, I don't even play that many kinetic visual novels. I'm barely in my own target demo here!

Now, compare that to the numbers I ran on RPGmaker games where you just do narrative and there is very minimal gameplay:

Rakuen: 4000+ Reviews, over $100k in profits estimated

To the Moon: $8 Million in profit

A Bird Story: Definitely sold worse than To the Moon, was cheaper to make and cheaper to buy -- estimated at $397k

Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea: Dunno cuz it's free BUT its manga adaptation has 267 reviews on Amazon -- so the creator COULD have made bank on the actual game

See how much higher those are? Even when they're not as well known? And sure, the bottom is still $0 ultimately but the upper limit, with the most successful of these titles (and incidentally, the video game that convinced me to get into Game Design) is much much higher.

"BUT BELLE! Laura Shigihara did the music on a lot of those! You don't have Laura Shigihara!"

Ok BET! I'll hire her! The base industry rate for music per minute is $100/min. Let's suppose now she charge 10x that, cuz she's famous -- $1k/minute of music. I get her to compose a 3 minute song for $3k BUT she also brings over... say... 5% of her audience to check out my game.

That's admittedly, a high conversion rate so we'll just take 5% of Rakuen. Now, I'm imagining I'd charge like $25/copy of my game because it's gonna be like 300k words -- people pay $25 for a book of that length, so if I have art and programming also, I can do that. With just her 5% of Rakuen reviewers (21 reviewers of her 4.3k), that's like $7k USD. So, she'd probably just pay for herself and then some.

And to top all this off: I'm back in the target demo. I am ABSOLUTELY the kind of person who will play a solodev's RPGmaker game and forgive all jank and flaws and lack of gameplay if the story, art, and music are good.

That is, of course, making the assumption that I'll make good music and art 🥺🥺🥺

Now obviously, all this is WILD guestimates so like. You shouldn't make business decisions off this. I'm barely making "business" decisions -- I'm making hobby decisions. I have a full time job and I intend to keep it. BUT I think it's pretty clear where the potential money might be for me -- RPGmaker games.

Eris (Blinking): Thank you for reading!

[viintage-pearls]

Snakes only bite

Your senior prom. It's suppose to be one of the one of the greatest nights of your life. Some girls plan it more than their own wedding. The perfect accessories. The perfect shoes. The perfect dress. And of course, the perfect date.

Betty thought she had all of that. She thought she was gonna have the perfect night. And yet, she found herself crying on the floor of her bedroom.

✰✰✰

She had decided to go with Jughead Jones. Yes, he was a bad boy and known as a risk. She had always found him alluring and she always had a good time with him. So, instead of going with one of the many guys that had asked her, she decided to go with the young serpent king. Too bad it would backfire.

Around 7 o' clock,  she walked into the gym. It was decorated wall to wall with violet cloths which had white fairy lights strung along the walls. Long tables with linens that matched the walls. Each of the seven tables had about 8 chairs on each side. There was a long purple isle from the door to the stage. And there was a huge dance floor that glowed a purple color. Clearly it was decorated by miss Veronica Lodge.

Betty and Jughead decided to just meet up at the school because the only form of transportation he had was his bike. And since she didn't want to ruin her dress, she decided just to take her own car. Maybe that was her biggest mistake.

She looked all around the gym, but he was no where to be found. She asked around, but no one had seen him. She found it peculiar but decided to wait a bit. Giving him the benefit of doubt. Thinking maybe he was just a little late.

Eventually, two hours passed. People were dancing and having a great time with their dates and friends. She was trying to. But, she was getting anxious and felt pathetic waiting around for her date. But, there was a topper to the cake. And this was just the icing.

The time to crown the prom royalty. Betty was sure she had it in the bag since she was the head of the cheer team. And she did. Unfortunately, when her name was called for prom queen, her king still hadn't shown. So, she stood there. On that stage, giving the brightest of smiles even though she was only filled with doubt.

Jughead's runner up, archie andrews ending up becoming king and they shared a dance. The entire time they swirled around in circles around the dance area, her mind was somewhere else. She couldn't help but think about how she would rather be dancing with Jughead than the carrot top.

After the dance, she ran out of the gym. She ran outside and got into her car. She practically sped her way over to the Southside. She normally didn't like going into snake territory after dark, but she was pissed off. And this man better have had a good reason for standing her up.

She sped into the trailer park, surely kicking up gravel. Not that she cared, her mind was only other things. She had always liked him and she really wanted to get to know him. They were both going to new york for college next year. So they would've actually had a chance without the weight of Riverdale's civil weighing them down.

She parked in front of the grey dingy trailer. The blonde woman climbed out of the car, slamming the door behind him. Honestly, she wanted him to hear it. She wanted to hear the angry clicks of her heels. She was pissed off and with good reason. Yet, she hadn't had any clue just how upset she would be.

She knocked on the door and waited a bit. She began to hear a lot of steps and loud voices. She peeked into the window, completely unaware of what she was going to see. But when she did, it completely shattered any thought of them making things work in the future.

Her green orbs observed the dumpy living room. There was another woman with him. The woman's upper body was only covered by a bra. Jughead was half naked. The rest of their clothes thrown across the room, a lamp on the floor. It was clear what they had been doing. It was clear what he had rather been doing some random ass woman than going to a dance with her.

The shock, the hurt, the disappoint, the anger. It was all over her face. Her jaw clenched as she couldn't help but stare with wide eyes for a minute.

Then, he turned his head and he caught her eyes. She didn't stay around long enough to see his reaction. She just wanted to go home. She stormed back into her car. And just like that, she was gone faster than she had came.

✰✰✰

It took jughead a little longer than it should've before he decided to come  check up on her. After everything, he didn't know wether or not he should've. He had been such an asshole and he was sure that she didn't want anything to do with him after the night he had gave her. But, he gathered up all of his courage and eventually found himself riding up to her house.

His blue eyes looked up at the red and white two story dwelling. He contemplated for a moment just turning back home. But, he pushed that thought to the back of his head and found himself going up the back way. The andrews always had a ladder so he used it to get to her bedroom window.

He looked inside the pastel bedroom. He quickly spotted the girl on the floor. She still wore the beautiful lilac dress, even as she cried in a fetal position. He gulped as he felt his heart quench at the sight. He sighed before he knocked on the window.

He watched as the girl jumped a bit out of shock. She looked in his direction, anger quickly taking over her face. He watched as she stormed over, opening the window.

"Why are you here?" She asked him with a raised brow.

He looked up at her, bitting his lip. He didn't know what to say to her. He looked down before looking back up into her eyes. He couldn't help but notice her smeared mascara. "I.. I um, can i come in?" He asked her.

She scoffed a bit but gestured for him to come in. " yeah, sure whatever." She said, walking over to her mirror and pulling her hair into a bun.

Jughead nodded and climbed into her bedroom. He had been in the pink room many times before. But never Without Betty all over him. Not that he ever complained. In fact, he preferred it to her simply tolerating his presence in her bedroom.

" Soo.. What do you want, Jones?" The blonde asked him, wiping her eyes of her ruined make up.

"I just.. I wanted to tell you that i'm sorry. I should've been there. I should've been with you." He told her.

She turned around in the vanity chair, looking at him with a glare. "So, why weren't you?"

He sighed softly. He didn't have a real excuse. His best bet was the truth. "We were at the wrym. Me and my friends were hanging. And all of a sudden, this new girl came into the bar. And she came over to me. One thing led to another and." He said.

She nodded. "And you decided that you would've rather screwed her than to keep your promises. Got it."

Jughead sighed and shook his head. "No. I." He started but just sighed.

"You what?" Betty asked, standing up from the chair and looking up at him.

He looked down, he couldn't bare to meet her eyes. Instead, he watched the purple rug across her floor. His eyes traced the little purple and pink flowers.

Betty raised a brow as she watched him. She shook her head. "God dam, jughead jones. Why do you have to be such an âsshole?" She asked him. There was no response. "Why do i have to be so stupid?" She muttered as she ran her hands over her face.

Jughead glanced back up at her. "Betts.. You're not. I am. I'm sorry, okay? I'm an idiot. I just.. I didn't want to go your stupid little stereotypical northside party." He mumbled.

Betty laughed and shook her head. "You do realize how stupid that sounds? You literally asked me!"

He closed his eyes. "Yeah, well.. You knew what you were getting into when you said yes." He told her.

"Oh, really? Okay. So, now this is my fault? I should've seen it coming that instead of going to prom with me, you would've been at your trailer screwing another woman!?"

Jughead didn't know what to say. she wasn't exactly wrong. He made a promise only to break it. He knew how important this night was to her. And yet, stupid was his chosen path.

"Oh my god, elizabeth. Stop acting like there aren't a million other guys that wanted to go with you tonight. You should've went one of your preppy jocky freinds."

Jughead saw a flash of hurt across her face before it descended into anger. "You're right, jones. I got asked many times. But guess what? I didn't want to go with any of them! I wanted to go with you!"

He scoffed. "Why the hêll would you want to go with me? Look at you. You live on elm street. You are valedictorian AND the leader of the cheer team. You are like literal perfection. I'm from the wrong side of the tracks. I'm the leader of a gang. Why would you wanna go with me?" He asked her.

"Because.. I don't care about that stuff. Because as much as i should, as much as i'm scolded for even looking at you, i can never get you off my mind. Last summer, spending like every day together, it was amazing. I never told you but i fell. Big time. But, i knew it would never work in this town. So when i found out that we were both gonna be in new york next year. I was hopeful for some kind of future. But they were right. My sister, my friends. They told me that you are a snake, and not just by title, you are a fück boy. The best thing you have is your poisonous bite." She muttered, wiping a tear that threatened to fall down her cheek.

He took a moment to let her rambling words sink in. She loved him. Never in his life would he thought that she would love him. Yet, he had suppressed the same feelings. Maybe that was why he asked her to the dance. But he was scared. Because he was almost certain that she would never return those feelings. So, he sabotaged things. Because it seemed easier than being shot down. He felt the guilt on his shoulders. The guilt weighed so much. If he was in water, he would've drown by now. But, he was once more brought to reality when betty said something.

"I think you need to go." Betty told him, chewing on her bottom lip.

Jughead looked up at her. He was filled with sorrow and regret. "Betts, please don't make me go." He said, his voice cracking a bit. He wasn't used to vulnerability. But, he felt like he was on the verge of tears.

Betty didn't answer him, she didn't even look at him. She turned her head away from him and refused to meet his eyes. Her jaw clenched as she tried to contain herself.

Jughead sighed, but he had got the message. He looked at her. "I'm sorry, truly." He whispered, patting her shoulder. His heart breaking with each step he took away from her.

Betty looked back at him. She grabbed his hand before he could too far. She turned him around and pulled him into a deeply passionate kiss. She cupped his cheeks as she kissed him.

Jughead breathed but kissed her back. He was confused, but he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to him. Though, before he even knew it, the kiss was over.

She pulled away from him, letting her arms fall to her side after she peeled his hands off her waist.

Jughead looked at her with utter confusion. Talk about mixed signals. "Um.. Why?"

Betty simply smiled at him. " I just want to remind you of what you could've had. What you let go. And i hope to good she was a good enough fück to let me go." The blonde told him with narrowed eyes. "Now run along, you dirty snake." She muttered.

He gulped and continued on to the window, climbing out. He watched as she slammed the window behind him. "I love you, princess." He whispered before he continued down the ladder. Perfection was his. And he let it slip through his fingers. That would forever live with him.

@riverdalepromptathon

[black-widowfics]

My most used writing Prompts:

(There's a lot)

1. "I love you... baby"

2. "God, you're adorable"

3. "Hey, cutie"

4. "I promise to love you for the rest of my life"

5. "I don't care if you're sick, catching a cold from kissing you is worth it"

6. "You are so perfect"

7. "You're the best part of me"

8. "Stay here with me. Please?"

9. "I'm speechless you're so beautiful"

10. "Aww! You're adorable"

11. "So romantic"

12. "I'll love you until the end of the universe" "haven't we been there before?"

13. "Do you need a hug?"

14. "I love you, my dearest"

15. "Come here, I need to hug you"

16. "When everything's wrong, it's you that makes it right"

17. "You're the one"

18. "Have i ever pointed out how beautiful you are? " "Yes, all the time"

19. "I'm bored" " then why don't we do something more interesting?"

20. Forehead kisses

21. Hand kisses

22. "That tickles!" Kisses

23. Kisses that make them smile

24. Breathless kisses

25. Cheek kisses

26. Nose Kisses

27. "God, i love you" Kisses

28. Kisses that end with laughter

29. Never wanting to pull away kisses

30. Multiple face kisses

31. Big, long kisses

32. Long Awaited Kisses

34. "Finally, you guys kissed" Kisses

35. Goodbye kisses

36. Kisses accompanied by happy tears

37. Kisses accompanied by sad tears

38. Kisses that get interrupted

39. Kisses to distract them from winning

40. "Just woke up" Kisses

41. Excited Kisses

42. Long awaited kisses

43. "I missed you so much" kisses

44. Sneaking up behind them and surprising them kisses

45. Kisses to help them concentrate

46. Kisses as a reward(passed a hard exam, won a game, etc)

47. "No! No! No! Wake up! Please!"

48. "Please don't leave"

49. "... I love you"

50. "You killed someone, do you really think they'll still love you?!"

51. "They were my world, but now they're gone"

52. "I miss you so much, please come back"

53. "I know you're gone, but i feel you here"

54. "Tears are all I see without you"

55. "You're happy, with someone else. And that hurts"

56. "Just leave!"

57. "Promise me you'll live a great life, without me"

58. "I don't need you"

59. "The world is dull without you"

60. "I miss being in your arms"

61. "Get out of my life!"

62. "I don't love you anymore"

63. "Goodnight, i have always loved you "

65. "I may be dying, but please, don't cry over me"

67. "Thank you, for helping me live the greatest life i could"

68. "These tears will never stop falling"

69. "You were so perfect, but now you're gone"

70. "You were so perfect, but now you're moved on"

71. That's the way to break my heart"

72. "You're happy in someone else's arms "

73. "Take me back to the good old days "

74. Billions of people in the world, and I chose you, how stupid was that"

75. "I wish i didn't have to lose you"

76. "I wish you didn't have to lose me "

77. "I wish that could be me "

78. Character A and Character B, sworn enemies, are chosen to prepare the company Christmas Party.

79. Character A's best friend rigs the Secret Santa, because they know Character A has a crush on Character B.

80. Character A's ex will be at the A is attending. Character B poses as A's fiancée.

81. "Don't look at me, I was still dead at the time."

82. "....Aren't you a little young, to be here?"

83. Character A and Character B meet in the ER on Christmas Eve.

84. Character A can't wrap gifts to save their life. Character B is their neighbor and can help.

85. Character A vows to do something nice for a stranger. Character B is that stranger.

86. Character A and Character B both sign up for a Pen Pal project to exchange postcards.

87. Character A and Character B broke up, but now they meet at a _____ party.

88. Character A is stuck working in a coffee shop on Christmas and Character B is the lonely soul spending their whole day there.

89. Character A's little sibling/child wants to meet their favorite celebrity/writer/person for their birthday. Character B is called "birthday present".

90. Character A can't travel to see their family on Christmas, so they invite their grumpy loner neighbor Character B.

91. Character A and Character B compete in (some kind of) house decoration.

92. Character A bakes too many ______ so they share it with Character B.

93. It's Character A's first Christmas since a tragedy.

94. Character A returns to their birth-town for the holidays. Character B is their estranged childhood best friend.

95. Character A is pretending to be their friend's lover for the sake of the friend's family. Character B is said friend's sibling.

96. Character A loses a bet and has to wear_____ . Character B won the bet.

97. Character A owns a _____ store. Character B is looking for a present.

98. Character A doesn't feel the Christmas spirit but Character B, who lives above them, keeps playing Christmas carols really loud.

99. Character A overhears Character B's birthday wish and decides to fulfill it.

100. Character A was planning to leave dramatically after their confession but character B unhooked their batteries when A wasn't looking so I guess they have to talk about it now.

101. Your doomsday device didn't work but it did put me in the hospital so what are you doing in my room?

102. We've been roommates for seven years and we had a fight but you left me a note right after you moved out saying you were in love with me.

103. "If we get out of this mess you and I are going to have a serious talk about the appropriate time for emotional conversations."

104. "According to these screenshots I need to leave the country immediately."

105. Spontaneously confessed to crush while under the influence.

106. Tried to have a conversation with a cardboard cutout after surgery.

107. "That's it I'm never leaving my room again I can't live this one down."

108. Gave a brutally honest opinion and doesn't remember it.

109. "You said you had the best idea ever and then proceeded to write [extremely stupid thing] as a note to yourself."

110. "tried kissing once and it wasn't for us."

111. We make out at parties and clubs so other folks will leave us alone.

112. "Of course I'm in their lap where else am I going to sit?"

113. Their constantly orbiting around each other.

114. "just because YOUR friends aren't affectionate doesn't mean that there's a problem with US".

115. platonic cuddle puddle.

116. Not so platonic cuddle puddle.

117. "So what we go on friend dates, don't make it weird."

118. Always carries the other's favorite snacks.

119. "I thought I told you to stop calling me 'Your Majesty'."

120. "Lower you weapons!"

121. "I...I am not worthy of this crown."

122. "People are fighting– dying for their kingdom! What kind of Ruler would I be if I didn't join them at the front lines?"

123. "You know I am a prince/princess/royal, right?" "Well yes-" "Then do me a favor and stop telling me what to do."

124. "Since when do you know how to wield a sword?"

125. "Go! If this kingdom goes down, then I will go down with it as it's Ruler"

126. "All the fine silks and perfumes in the world won't mask what a pompous jerk you are."

127. "After all this time, you still don't trust me?"

128. "Get me out of this dress!"

129. "Why so serious, Your Highness?"

130. "How does a walk through the gardens sound?"

131. "I do believe I've proven that you are more than a mere guard to me, ______."

132. "This kingdom cannot go on without you! Please, it's time for you to take your rightful place at the throne."

133. "Your Majesty, is that blood on your dress?"

134. "Walk with me, please. I can't stand another second in that room with their intoxicating pride and old perfumes."

135. "At ease, _____, I know I'm safe with you by my side."

136. "I see we're back to 'Your Highness'. "

137. "A moment with you is far more exciting than a lifetime of cheap conversations and corsets."

138. "...is that my crown you're wearing?"

139. "Promise you'll come back to me." "As long as you promise to wait for me."

140. "Let go of me– that is an order!"

141. "Forgive me, my love."

142. "No, no, it looks far better on you than it does me."

143."This is the part where I kiss the extremely beautiful princess, right?"

144. "how could I ever love someone else?"

145. I'm dancing with my demons

146.I just can't imagine how you could be okay now that I'm gone

147. "I wanna fall wide awake"

148. "You tell me it's alright but its not!"

149. "Tell me I'm forgiven... please."

150. "Nobody can save me"

151. "I don't wanna let you down"

152. "Only I can save me"

153. "There's no getting through to you"

154. "You say I can't understand"

155. "When you leave me, where do you go?"

156. "I'm just talking to myself"

157. "Can't you hear me calling you home?"

158. "You keep running like the sky is falling"

159. "I've got a long way to go and a long memory."

160. "If my armor breaks I'll fuse it back together"

161. "Please just don't give up on me"

162. "I know the words we said"

163. "This is not black and white"

164. "I was not mad at you"

165. "If you ever felt invisible, I won't let you feel that now"

166. "You just wanna know you're being heard"

167. "I don't like my mind right now"

168. "There's comfort in the panic"

169. "I drive myself crazy"

170. "Why is everything so heavy?"

171." I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me"

172. "I know I'm not the center of the universe"

173. "I only halfway apologize"

174. "I'll be sorry for now"

175. "Sometimes things refuse to go the way we planned"

176. "There will be a day that you will understand"

177. "After a while you may forget"

178. "I never wanted to say goodbye"

179. "I've never been higher than I was that night"

180. "Now I remember"

181. "I don't know what I want"

182. "Were there signs I ignored?"

183. "Can I help you not to hurt anymore?"

184. "Who cares if one more light goes out in a sky of a million stars?" "I do"

185. "You're angry, and you should be"

186. "It's not fair"

187. "You're gonna hurt someone"

188. "Watch the friends you keep."

189. "Sharp edges have consequences"

190. "Every scar is a story I can tell"

191. "I loved you like a house of cards, and let it fall apart"

192. "It made me who I am"

193. "We all fall down"

194. "We live somehow"

195. "I can't live without you."

196. "You're the only one for me."

197. "I've never loved anyone the way I love you."

198. "The things you do to me..."

199. "You're too good to me."

200. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

201. "You're the most beautiful person I know."

202. "Stay with me... please."

203. "Nothing has ever felt so right."

204. "You don't know how much you do for me just by being there."

205. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

206. "No matter what anyone says, I'll cherish you forever."

207. "You make it so easy to love you."

208. "I want to hold you and never let go."

209. "Kiss me."

210. "My only wish is to see you happy."

211. "You make me a better person."

212. "I love you more than words can express."

213. "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just wish you had kept yours to yourself."

214. "I don't know how to tell you this, but yelling at someone to, stop panicking, isn't going to stop them from panicking."

215. "It's not your fault. Sometimes you can do everything right, and things will still go wrong.... This just happened to be one of those times."

216. ".....I'm going to pretend I didn't see that."

217. "Why am I the one who always ends up getting targeted by the creep of the week?!"

218. "Fuck.... I knew I should have bought those light up sneakers."

219. "None of this, seems healthy."

220. "....Should I be concerned?"

221. "I said pass it to me, not 'throw it in my general direction'!"

222. "It is my deep pleasure, to inform you that I am not the one in charge here."

223. "Quick! You hide the equipment, I'll hide the grenades!"

224. "Should I call someone for you?"

225. "Did you take anything?"

226. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

227. "When was the last time you ate anything?"

228. "Can you walk?"

229. "How do you think this will all end?"

230. "Do you need an ambulance?"

231. "Where you crying?"

232. "Should someone help you get home?"

233. "Do you know where you are?"

234. "Can you tell me your name?"

235. "Where do you want me to take you to?"

236. "Do you need my help?"

237. "How do you feel now?"

238. "Can I do anything that would make it better?"

239. "Do you want my jacket?"

240. "Can you let me see your eyes?"

241. "Should I stay a bit longer?"

242. "Will you be alright?"

243. "Do you have someone who can look after you?”

244. “An interesting crossover”

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Alex: candy don't even know what to handle

Candy: mom foiled our kidnapping plans once again but then she got them kidnapped in the first place because we fell in her trap to get it done?!? Ugh. I need to be more like mom!

Alex: she didn't say it like that before, she called you a bitch, old hag, dumb ass, double crosser, traitor, submarine ship silencer. Everything but Good. Nice to see you there Candy.

Me: i love my kids streaming up like an old steamshuo. Means they're getting somewhere in life

Candy: you always tell us we've arrived!

Me: then you go somewhere after you do

Candy under her breath like all soft: bitch

Me: where your husband at? Should you not be having sex someplace?

Candy: sure so I can get pregnant again to have a kid smarter than me

Me: you're hard to trick candy, I had to work with criminals and allow them to create crimes in order to trick my own children.

Candy mutters random shit.

Me: but for real when is it the last time I did that?

Alex: never babe. You never let the world go to shit so bad

Candy: im trying not to laugh but even the tree went Uhhh

Tree: let me calculate again. Yeah never. So yeah This is pretty amazing.

Me: im pretty sure i got something in your drawer to confuse the rest of your victkms

Candy: in 1988, 19987, 2003, 2019

Me: 2016, 2017 and 2018?

Candy: Yeah "just give up Candy all will be alright. We don't need to continue kidnapping anyone."

Me: Unless we want to. Look in your drawer.

Candy: ok fine! But you aren't negotiating their release this time! Alex is! Besides dad you need practice.

Me: i know. He was really cheap huh. Especially since he was paying his own tree and dad and kids

Alex: i should had realized that at some point but i Didn't. I never realized the point or who the kidnappers were. I was lost as Hell. Until i realized it was some,exotic shit for her birthday. Babe you better watch out. Were gonna kidnap you soon. Im almost positive

Tabitha: If we like you.

Me: lock me in a puzzle box

Alex: that you designed no less and back trick us again next thing we know we're kidnapped and we're liking it and you tell us we have to decide what to do. Stay or not

Me: no im forced to tell you I'm kidnapped due to fear and then that I'm the kidnapper and it's your job to figure out which If either I am.

Alex: you know the answer. Babe don't. Babe, don't please im gonna cry.

Ivanka: why what's the answer?

Alex: im writing down not kidnapped on my paper.

Ivanka: so she's the kidnapper.

Alex: im writing no to that

Me: you can tell it Alex

Alex: saving your mom from death. Neither. A completely different thing under a disguise of a game.

Shante: and you think I'm gonna post it?

Me: doesn't all evil believe it's stronger than me?

Shante: but why give them a head start

Me: because then it's fun

Alex: babe. Quit im laughing

Shante: okay i think i get you. I will allow it to post

Tree: YESSSSSS! ALRIGHT YAY.

Alex: what the fuck does he have to do with it?

Me: idk I just know the side of innocence

Tree: my turn to control evil. Its my turn to keep the world safe! I'm a real bad ass Jackie Chan! Middle School Style

Alex: you plan this without me?

Me: you're the one that liked scorpions and i got stung

Alex: unh unh unh unh unh. You did it didn't you. Solved the world's problems with and without love. You did the hate phase. Woah. I never did one of those before. I always wanted to.

Me: you're welcome in advance then

Alex: oh shit! She mother fucking did it! Solved the world's problems! Candy! Eat something man!

Tababatha: I was just thinking mom went to the store and the world changed overnight. For so many people. Millions and Billions. We were told the truth in,her old school ways. I'll do anything for you even,if it's my fault I'll fix it and now they say Irs the ending

Tabitha: i should had known about that with the calander. Sorry about that guys, you may go now. Unclone. Mom didn't need as much help as I thought.

Candy: thank you mom.

Me: of course.

Candy: did she not say you're welcome? Whars next? Who drew a turtle on my paper and said it's me?

We all know tree. Hes too fun, just enough.

Me: a turtle always takes its home with him. Home is where the heart is kid, and you drag it along no matter where it is you go.

Candy: well thank you mom

Me: you're welcome.

Alex: Cruz is all "i just woke up to a fucking miracle." All his mechanics drive his cars. Never him. He,rarely drives.

Me: we can have team racing then, 6 months of the year split. Then it will run the same score it does now but a better ending

Alex: are you shifting me? You know that is illegal and were not supposed to do that?

Me: and the races I said last night we will add 10 to and so your team can run relay.

Alex: two?! We are gonna get 2 prizes?? 1 individual and 1 team?

Me: yeah baby.

Alex: fuck yeah. You want my birthday happy or what?

Me: it's been awhile since i gave anyone presents. So yeah. And Happy Birthday Chandler

Chandler: it's gone. Its all over. Its his now

Me: yeah he don't matter. Its all about the babies he always says

Alex: remember Clifford? I didn't want a dog. You did. Those 2 boys. I wanted them but you wanted them more. You see Chandler, a dad's love really goes deeper than the ends of the Earth. 2 universes or 2 planets. That's why i got you a dog even though she said no and she did. Remember I said that to you? And you said it better be the biggest dog in the world. Those weren't my birthdays we were laughing about. They were yours. You got whatever you wanted. The world's biggest boy. Shaquille

Shaquille: i was that boy. You wanted to save me Chandler.

Candy: I see dad

Alex: You wanted to help your mom save this world. Just yourself. You and you alone and your mom. You get your wish i mean that. That's why you were born to Jesse. Only you were able treat your mom right enough to be able to win with her, no one else.

Candy: mom did you even say I can't have a dog?

Me: i said we saved people not animals and i didn't have time for anything but people. In fact I saw on your Insta you had dogs I didn't know about for years and i said to myself, "who said she could have dogs? May be her dad. Probably. Although she's all grown now i bet he would. To spite me" why would I say that stupid shit If it was not true!!

Candy: oh my God mom. I remember you saying that and I thought "oh my god here it is what? 8 billion yesrs later and I'm still in trouble" and i even asked "mom is it alright I have dogs?"

Me: and I said "what? Oh my God of course as long as you take care of them. Are you taking care of them? You are aren't you?"

Alex: 2019! And it broke my heart!

Candy: and i said "I'm such a dork! I am taking care of them!"

Me: and i said it doesn't mean you're a dork. Taking care of them means you're a good person. A good human especially when you're so busy with work and travel and all you have to do.

Alex: we're gonna have dog races, i know. I know i am.