#and you know you'll be up for another hour at least because fuckin insomnia doesn't give a shit how physically exhausted you are
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#that feeling when you have the overwhelming urge to cry#but you're staying at a friend's house#and her and her kid and her husband are all asleep#and you know you'll be up for another hour at least because fuckin insomnia doesn't give a shit how physically exhausted you are#and ofc its the Bad Hours so my brain is doing gremlin things#like making me feel self conscious and awkward and out of place#i KNOW im not! i know my friends love me!!!#but being amongst them and their families.... idk it just highlights how very very different my own life is#and i know thats not a problem either!#but like. they can relate to each other in ways I never will#the three of them are married and have kids and have their own homes#and it's just. idk. i feel so outta place. like a mismatched puzzle piece. and i hate that i feel like that but i do.#Fuck im gonna start crying & i really don't wanna do that again so im gonna go finish Artificial Condition (again) & try some crocheting#im so tired and my head still feels like shit from this afternoon#fml why cant i just be happy and enjoy myself#tbd#☉#fox thoughts#(and you three idk how often you're on tumblr anymore but if you happen across this--#IT'S NOT YOU. it's got nothing to do with anything youve said or done. you're all lovely and perfect -- my brain's just bad)
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