#and you can hurt yourself with almost anything don’t be a fool and think people won’t get really creative

[cheekygirl2309]

20 Years of Friendship and Cons

MasterList

Chapter 2

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Readers best friend, Danneel (Mentioned) Jensen’s Kids, Clif, Jared Padalecki (Mentioned)

Warnings: Mentions of Panic Attacks, Nightmares, and a lot of tears

This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Jensen is Married in this Story but on the verge of Divorce from Danneel.

All work is my own, please don't take it or use it, Reblogs and likes are appreciated.

As we reached the green room, Clif motioned for us to enter. When we entered Jensen was sitting on the floor with back against the couch and his head between his legs trying to breathe. “Jensen it’s Y/N, you’re safe. I’m here with you. Here, breathe with me.” She placed his hand on her chest as she took a deep breath in. Jensen matched her breathing as he felt the steady beat of her heart. “You're doing great Jensen, now can you tell me 5 things you can see?” 

“You, Shannon, the door over there, the water bottles on the table, and my shoes.” You nod and smile, “Good,now 4 things you can touch.” “Your hand, the carpet, how itchy this sweater is right now, and the couch behind me.” Good, let's keep going, 3 things you can hear.” “Your voice, the people outside, and Clif in the hallway.” “Really good Jensen, we're almost done, 2 things you can smell.” Your perfume Y/N, the fresh coffee.” Jensen you're almost there, now 1 thing you can taste.” “My spearmint gum.” 

“You did amazing Jensen, how do you feel now?” “I feel okay, calmer, but I also feel like a complete fool. This never happens in public, my panic attacks happen when I'm alone or at home. I'm sorry you had to see all that, and you had to deal with it, with me,” Jensen said as he kept hitting the pillow in front of him. “Hey, look at me Jensen, it’s normal to have panic attacks, both Shannon and I have them too. That’s actually one of the reasons why Shannon and I are best friends. We both ground each other and help each other through the panic attacks. If we can be your person Jensen, we will always be here for you. You don’t need to be angry or upset with yourself Jensen for having a panic attack.” You whisper as you slowly take the pillow from him. “I just don’t understand why, I’m a good father aren’t I? Why does she want to take the kids from me?”

“Honestly, we don’t know why she’s doing this, but what we do know is that JJ, Arrow and Zeppelin have an amazing father who loves them with all his heart, and would do anything for them. Who would protect them from harm or hurt, and would drop anything that he was doing to be there for them when they needed him.” “If we had to take a guess as to why, she could be jealous of the bond you have with kids because she doesn’t have that same kind of bond.” 

“Now, do you feel okay enough to return to the stage with Jared and finish the panel?” “I think I will be okay, but can you and Shannon stay at the side of the stage? I don’t want you too far from me.” “Of course we can, Jensen we will be right there waiting for you.” “Let’s get you back to the stage,” You said as you offered him your hand, helping him up. 

About 30 minutes later the panel had finished and Jensen made his way over to us, “I have a favour to ask both of you. I don’t think I can be alone tonight. With everything going on I need someone there to make sure I don’t drown in panic attacks. Would you two be willing to stay in my room tonight? I know it’s a big ask, but Jared has his own thing tonight with Gen and the kids. I don’t want him to have to choose between me and them.”

“If it’s going to help you sleep and stay calm, then it’s not a problem, we will stay in your room tonight, right Shan?” “Yes, of course Y/N.” “Thank you both, you don’t know how much this means to me. How much this makes me feel better and gives me a sense of comfort.” “Jensen, you have been our rock for years, and we will be yours now.”

Shannon and I finished up at the convention and decided to head up to our room, to shower and put on comfortable clothes before we headed to Jensen’s room. “Y/N, this whole thing with Danneel taking the kids and leaving him, has really hurt Jensen. I have a feeling there will be more panic attacks tonight and not much sleep.” “We just need to make him comfortable and remind him that he’s safe.” “I guess we should head across the hall to Jensen’s room. Are you ready Shan?” “Ready than I’ll ever be.” Shannon says as we head across the hall.

Jensen seemed to sense us coming because he opened the door just as we reached it. “Thank you for coming and staying with me tonight. My head is not in the right space to be alone tonight. This whole thing with Danneel leaving and taking the kids has me seconding guessing everything right now. So it’s better that I have company tonight. Okay, come on in and get comfortable. We can order room service and just talk.” “That sounds like a good idea Jensen, we are here for you.” You said as you and Shannon make your way inside and set your stuff down. 

Once everyone was settled Jensen placed a room service order for a bunch of appetizers and stuff. “How did you two meet, become friends and stay friends for 20 years?” Jensen asked curiously. 

“Well, Shannon and I met after I commented on one of her fanfiction stories she wrote about you. I fell in love with it and commented and then she responded.  That led us messaging each other then later exchanging phone numbers so we could text. What really connected us was how we’ve both dealt with some of the same struggles. That’s when we realized we were meant to find each other. We’re there for each other and we became instant soul sisters. You Jensen were the main reason we met and we’ve been friends ever since. It’s been 20 years since that day.” Y/N said as she smiled with a few tears falling. “You both wrote fanfiction about me? Was it at least good?” Jensen asked with a sly smile.“Oh yeah, it got lots of views and likes,” Shannon answered.

About 20 minutes later, room service had finally arrived, “Wow Jensen this is a lot of food.” “I got enough so we could snack. I hope that’s okay.” “Yeah, it’s perfectly fine Jensen. It’s good to have variety.” As we snacked on the appetizers, Jensen’s phone started ringing. It was a FaceTime call from his kids. We sat quietly and let him answer the call. “Hey Jaybird, what’s going on? Is everything okay?” “Yeah daddy everything is okay. Arrow, Zeppy and I wanted to hear your voice. We miss you so much, and all momma has been doing is yelling at everyone. When are you coming to get us Daddy?” JJ asked with tears in her eyes. “Daddy and momma have some things to sort out before I can come and get you three. I hope it will be soon though. Daddy loves all of you to the moon and back and that will never change. I promise you that. So, how’s school going Jaybird?” “I had a big math test, but I passed it, and Amber and I have a play date tomorrow,” JJ said with a smile. “How about you two Arrow and Zeppy, what’s new?” “Zeppy and I are going to Macie’s Birthday at the Aquarium,” Arrow said while giggling. “Jaybird, I’m so proud of you for acing that math test, and Arrow and Zeppy, that sounds like so much fun. Well, my babies, daddy has to go now. I will call you tomorrow when I get done with the convention. I love you guys.” “Bye Daddy,” all the kids say. 

“The kids seemed happy Jensen. They really do love their daddy,” Shannon says with a smile. “Yeah, they seemed better than the last time I talked to them,” Jensen said with a smile. “Y/N, Shannon, I think I want to try and get some sleep. It's been a long day, if that’s okay.” “It's okay with us. Shannon and I will be in the other room if you need us.”

Shannon and I were relaxing in the other room for about 2 and a half hours, when suddenly we both heard panicked breathing. We rushed into Jensen’s room and found him sitting up on his bed holding his chest with tears running down his cheeks. “Jensen, you're safe, we are both here. Can you match my breathing? Good, you're doing it. Everything is going to be okay. Just breathe Jensen.” After a few moments Jensen had calmed down and was resting quietly. We stayed with him for the rest of the night, keeping watch and making sure he knew he was safe.

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[maybefae]

Your First Impression of Your Person

Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3

Remember, this is a general reading and it may not resonate for everyone or completely. Tarot is a tool to help guide but you are responsible for your actions and life, you choose your path.

I was leaning more towards a romantic partner that you are going to end up with that will have a significant place in your life but take it as it resonates for you.

Tips!

|Pile 1

Tarot: Eight of Swords (horizontal), Death, The High Priestess, Seven of Pentacles, Ten of Cups (horizontal), Page of Cups, Four of Pentacles, The Star (reversed), The Fool

Oracle: The Ladybug and Sweet Pea (happiness), The Chipmunk and Laurel (success), The Otter and Cattail (peace)

This person is someone that your soul has been letting you know was coming with certain signs or messages. And this could be someone you wished for, but there is a strong sense that this person was just meant to come into your life. It’s like you wished for this person and didn’t know that they were gonna come in whether you wished for them or not. I believe fate and freewill coincide together and this is one of those grey areas. 

Your person comes in either when a new chapter starts for you or this person comes in and triggers it. Whichever this new chapter is happening, there is a feeling of uncertainty and pessimistic caution - as if trust had been bruised. You almost feel like a wolf backed into a corner and someone is encroaching on your space and you’re trying to decide if they are safe or if you need to bite your way out of a situation. I don’t know if the new chapter has left you feeling a little vulnerable or if you did your little spells (writing down your persons characteristics, a letter from their POV of you, or moodboards), but it took longer than you expected so you developed a resentment of some kind. You’re skeptical of them. It’s like a “oh, now you decide to show up when I don’t want you anymore.” But you know that you still do but your own expectations have hurt you. Your person has done nothing to you.

In fact, you decide to give them a singular cup with caution to see if they can fill it because you still want them. You’re treading lightly and they realize this. They genuinely want to offer you ten full cups and you realize that quickly with how much they bring to the table. They do bring you a lot of happiness and peace, which their entrance into your life probably wasn’t anything grand. Their peaceful stroll into your life probably made you skeptical as well as angry. “But they are what you need(ed).” You probably expected something dramatic because of past people or situations and when you didn’t get that from your person, it felt unsafe. You may have some doubts and think “this wasn’t what I wished for.” But it was, deep down it was. And your wishes were a success.

I think you will be very emotional after dropping the wall finally. I think they will do something that will show you that they love you early on and it will make your walls instantly fall. There’s a feeling of guilt for being so resentful and angry towards your person and you may not know how to forgive yourself. But just know, your person says that you have nothing to be sorry for. There could be a moment when you decide to tell them this and your tears will be dried by them.

|Pile 2

Tarot: The Hierophant, The Hanged Man, Nine of Pentacles, Nine of Swords, The Empress, Ace of Wands, The Lovers, Four of Wands, The Star

Oracle:  The Eel and Iris (safety), The Boar and Pumpkin (confidence), The Snake and Fern (starting over), The Skunk and Magnolia (protection)

Before I pull the cards, I ended up shuffling face up for a moment. Your person may show you all their cards upfront so you know what they want, their boundaries, and their feelings towards you. There isn’t any pussy-footing around feelings and playing games. They are too grown for that and they take love and relationships very seriously. I had to go back and pull an oracle card I say while resetting the deck and it was The Eel and Iris card which represents safety in this deck. There are two messages here. They will leave if they don’t think you are safe. They are slimy in the way of being able to get away if you start to play with their heart, not that they are a player and wiggle in and out of your life. Absolutely not. And they offer you and your heart a lot of safety by presenting all their cards to you right away. They don’t play games. If it’s important, Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls could hold significance.  - Just from getting all these messages without pulling any cards, or just from this one oracle card, I have a very strong feeling about this message. They get to business in a very determined and sure-footed way. They are dependable.

Now that I pulled the cards, my top messages are correct. You will find their confidence very attractive because it doesn’t come off in a cocky way. Their confidence comes off just in a sure and stable way. They made it very clear to you that they find you “absolutely breathtaking” as soon as they got to talk to you (and in the same moment, they ask you on a date and your NUMBER, not your social media.) I think they will also be very attractive and not someone you expect to be attracted to you. They are very successful -  everything else in their life is in line but they don’t have a lover. They are very picky so you should feel lucky they chose you. They are looking for commitment, something serious. For some this could be marriage but if you don’t like that idea, make that clear right away because they will like how you’re sure of your wants. They will respect it, especially if you make it abundantly clear that you want something committed and long term outside of legal bindings. 

There is a lot of sexual tension in this pile. And there is a very wealthy energy coming off the both of you, especially with how formal I felt writing this. It was like I was writing a contract. 

I think that they will also let you know pretty early on that this could be a start over for them and they are giving love one more try before giving up. Maybe they could’ve given up before hand but you two got sexually involved and it led to them giving the both of you a shot. With them laying their cards on the table and you laying down yours, it creates a very stable foundation for the both of you to grow off of. This feels like a very mature energy, maybe 30s? There is a feeling of creating some sort of foundation for yourself, even it you could just be starting your foundation then.

|Pile 3

Tarot: Three of Swords, The Hierophant, Ace of Wands, Judgement, Knight of Wands, Queen of Cups, The Hermit, Nine of Cups, Temperance, Strength

Oracle: The Wolf and Rose Hip (guardianship), The Vulture and Asphodel (upheaval), The Sheep and Blackberry (devotion)

The Three of Swords instantly jumped out when I started shuffling. And before I started, the knight of cups was at the bottom…I believe your person wanted to bring your own heartbreak to light first and foremost. I don’t believe this card is part of your impression of them. This feels like a combination of their opinion of you combined with what you think of them. There’s a deep feeling of heartbreak from you but I don’t think you’ve given up on love, you really just want to finally meet the person you’ll spend your life with. The love of your life. This pile isn’t for someone seeking something temporary.

Pile 3, your person is the love of your life. They truly love you and I think that is why they wanted me to talk about you first. They come in very protectively, a wolf guarding their sheep. It’s not that you’re fragile but they have a good understanding that you are sensitive and a soft soul, which brings out their protective side. I think you welcome it because there is a feeling of instant safety you get from this person, like finally finding shelter to stand under while the rain clouds clear up. They instantly light up the passion you had for love again because they come in with the same passion, which isn’t inherently sexual either. This passion comes from a place of safety and comfort from each other, it’s like finally experiencing a love that isn’t so intense. Puppy love…maybe love that is usually experienced when you’re younger. There is a sense of them bringing back light-hearted fun, that love doesn’t have to be so taxing on your soul (and it shouldn’t be). 

There is a message of, “your patience will be rewarded.” 

They see you as an angel, pile 3. And they are merely your knight and they offer you so much devotion. I know this should be your first impression of them but I think you see this practically right away. “Light dawns on marble head.” They bring you out of the hermit phase and show you that they have all nine cups and you only need to bring your one cup so you can have the Ten of Cups together. They don’t expect anything other than your presence, you just have to show up and give them love. That’s all they expect from you and I think that comes as a surprise to you because people had expected so much of you and stripped you of it all so you were left empty. It probably took you a long time to fill your own cup again. They bring new and wanted change even though it may come with some uncomfortability from your end. 

Dividers: @inklore

[leighsartworks216]

Nyctophobia

Sylus x gn!Reader

I still have to sleep with some sort of light on at night and I was like well what would Sylus think about this. And now here we are

Warnings: hurt/comfort, crying, kissing, nyctophobia (fear of the dark), embarrassment, fear, pet names, swearing, implied sexual content, established relationship

Word Count: 2,153

Main Masterlist

Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

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You feel so fucking stupid. Not because you did something wrong or made a fool of yourself (yet), but because this dumb problem you had was so childish. Even a 10-year-old is braver than you, a literal fucking Hunter!

You pout at the nightlight on your laptop. Sylus’s black card sat on your coffee table, just waiting to be used. And yet, the thought of using a card with access to millions of dollars (perhaps billions), just to buy a nightlight, halted you in your tracks, He hadn’t even said much about anything else you’ve bought before, and what he did say usually encouraged you to buy more expensive, lavish things. Surely, he wouldn’t flinch at this at all.

But that stupid, unrelenting voice in your head made buying the light impossible.

Which sucked.

It really, really sucked.

‘Cuz every time you stay in the N109 Zone in Sylus’s manor-slash-base, your room is so dark. Being in the lawless area doesn’t help, either. All the violence and danger you’d seen walking in the streets at night painted visions of stalkers in the corner, murderers with knives under your bed, and worse, just waiting for you to close your eyes and sleep.

But you don’t want to impose on the nice atmosphere Sylus has cultivated in his home. So you sleep with the light off, clinging to your blankets and telling yourself over and over again that nobody else is in the room.

Your phone buzzing interrupts your pity party. You shut your laptop and place it on the table next to the card. It buzzes again as you pick it up.

What’s wrong, sweetie?

I’ve only seen you make that face when a plushie falls out of the claw

You look up at your window. Sure enough, Mephisto’s red eyes greet you.

Stop spying on me >:(

Fine

The mechanical crow disappears from sight. You can just barely hear his caws as he flies off back to the N109 Zone.

But my question still stands

It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it

Sweetie, if someone says not to worry about something, people are going to worry about it

Damn him for giving you a chance to tell the truth. And damn your brain for reminding you that if you tell him the truth, he’d probably laugh at you. What does he have to worry about when he sleeps anyway? He’s already a light sleeper, but he also sleeps during the day, when creeps skitter from shadow to shadow. He wouldn’t understand.

Like I said, it’s nothing

Nothing happens for a few moments. The little dots to signify he’s typing don’t even show up. You can’t help wondering what he’s doing. What he’s thinking.

Maybe he’s getting ready to start the night, getting into his car so Luke and Kieran can drive him around to his many business dealings. Or maybe he’s picking out a vinyl from his shelf, taking it from the paper casing with a delicacy only shared with you, and setting it up on his phonograph. Or maybe he’s mimicking you: sitting on the couch, staring at the phone, wondering what to say next.

The dots appear, finally.

Come to the N109 Zone, kitten

Let me cheer you up

If Mephisto was still lurking around, he’d have seen just how fast you packed your things and hopped onto your bike.

Yes, the N109 Zone is dark and scary and extremely dangerous at the best of times. Yes, you’d be forced to sleep in the dark once again. Yes, your mind would play tricks on you and you’d probably stay up all night anyway.

But Sylus is there. And you haven’t seen him for almost a week. Who could blame you for jumping at the opportunity to spend time with him now?

-

Sylus greets you at the door with an amused smirk. “You got here fast.”

You playfully glare at him, smacking his chest as you pass by. “There wasn’t any traffic,” you tease.

The manor is as dark as usual. If it’s not black, it’s dark red. If it’s not dark red, it’s the occasional white furniture or golden accent.

Sylus trails behind you as you beeline it straight to your room to drop off your stuff. He leans in the doorway as you toss your bag onto the plush bed. “You seem to be in a better mood now,” he hums.

“I always feel better when I get to see you.” You smile up at him. It’s a soft remark. Genuine. Not the usual joking, back-and-forth banter you’re usually all too happy to supply during your visits.

His expression melts into something just as tender. Just as honest. He casually pushes himself off the doorframe and crosses the few steps it takes to get to you. His hands cradle you like one of his precious antiques, tilting your face up while he cranes his neck until the world has shrunk to just this moment.

He grins. His eyes keep glancing down at your mouth. You grab onto his waist. Your fingers curl into his soft red sweater, desperate to keep him this close. His lips brush against yours, stealing the air from your lungs.

“Then let me make it worth your while.”

-

It’s still dark when you wake up. The navy blue behind the curtain carries no hint of light, reassuring your sleep-addled brain that there is still plenty of time before day.

You roll over, silk sheets caressing your bare form, fully intending to go right back to sleep. Cold air slips underneath the blanket. You shiver and pull it tighter around you. Without thinking, you reach out toward the other side of the bed. It’s too large for just one person. The bed is cold beneath your fingers, even as you reach out farther.

You blink open your eyes, blearily staring into the darkness, searching for some answer you can quite grasp yet.

What are you reaching for…?

You turn your face into your pillow, determined to ignore that strange feeling in your gut and enjoy the last hours of the night. The rich scent of bourbon and vanilla catch on the edge of your senses. It smells just like Sylus…

You open your eyes again. Where’s Sylus?

Your fingertips brush the edge of the bed as you reach out. A discordant chord of terror strikes in your heart as you quickly pull your hand back. Thoughts of something reaching out to grab you flood your mind. Your heart races, chasing off the last ounces of sleepiness from your body.

You pull the blanket even tighter around you, curling it under your feet and tucking it into your sides until you’re in a cocoon of safety. No matter how hard you strain your eyes, you can’t see anything. But in your mind, everything can see you.

You curl up into a pitiful ball.

You could get up, but you can’t. What if something grabs your ankles?

You could grab your phone, but you can’t. What if something is waiting in ambush and your phone is the bait?

You could do a thousand things to get out of this darkness. But you can’t, for a million reasons.

The door knob slowly turns. The only indication the door has opened at all is the sound of the lower edge brushing against the carpeted floor. No light comes in from the hall. It’s all pitch black. The door clicks shut.

You hold your breath.

Footsteps. Large, heavy footsteps. They don’t stomp. You’re not sure if it would be better if they did. They creep around the side of the bed.

You don’t move.

Weight shifts the mattress. Slowly. Deliberately.

Your heartbeat pounds in your ears. You strain to hear anything else.

Something slides over your blankets.

You squeeze your eyes shut so tight you see spots. You bite your lip to avoid making sound.

The something - a hand, you think - wraps around your waist.

You flinch.

Oh god, oh god, oh god. They’re gonna know you’re awake. They’re gonna cover your mouth or stab you or put a pillow over your face or-

“Kitten?”

Your body shudders as you finally let yourself breathe. You grab your pillow as you quickly sit up and swing it at the face of your lover.

“I thought you were gonna fucking kill me?!”

Sylus laughs, chucking the pillow back onto your side of the bed. You can’t see him in the dark, but your body can’t stop taking in every ounce of him that it can. His smell - the bourbon and vanilla tinged with a natural musk. His voice - that rich, lively sound of his laugh and the breaths he takes. His touch - his hand, trailing patterns over the blanket at your hip.

You crawl toward him, clinging to his chest like a koala. He’s still shirtless from your escapades. His hand slides to your back, pulling you in tighter to him. You can feel the rumble of his voice in his chest. You press your ear against him to hear more.

“Why would you think that?” he asks once he’s gathered himself.

You don’t answer. You squeeze him tighter.

“Sweetie?” The amusement is replaced with concern. His other arm wraps around you. The muscles tense with the slightest effort. He says your name.

Relief settles heavy in your bones. Tears prick at your eyes, while you remain utterly powerless to stop them. “It’s too dark,” you whimper. It’s all you can think to say.

His arms tighten around you as he rolls onto his back, pulling you on top of him like you weigh nothing. He begins playing with your hair. “Does it scare you?” he asks softly.

You nod. You pull one of your hands out from around him to wipe the tears off your face and his chest.

God, you feel so fucking pathetic.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

You don’t answer. His chest rises and falls with you on it, moving with his sigh. He pulls your hand away from your face and replaces it around him. You want to fight it. Complain about how gross it is to get all your tears on him. But he shushes you gently and you can’t find the strength to try.

“Do you want to go downstairs?”

You nod again.

The world shifts as he sits up with you. He pries you off of him so he can stand up, but he doesn’t go far. He grabs his sweater off the ground and helps you put it on. Then he goes through your dresser for some clean underwear. He helps you stand and slides them on. You don’t open your eyes. You don’t want to see the darkness. So you hold onto his shoulders. You put all your trust into him, and he refuses to betray it.

He lifts you into his arms like you’re a damn princess. Usually, he’d throw you over his shoulder, but not this time. This time he’s careful, treating you with the utmost care as he carries you down the stairs and to the living room. With a wave of his fingers, the lights turn on, black and red left in its wake.

“It’s not dark anymore,” he promises as he sits down. You keep your face safely tucked into his neck. He rests his cheek on your head. His fingers go back to your hair. His other hand rubs patterns against your bare thigh.

After a while, your terror finally dissipates completely. You can see the light shining through your closed eyelids. Feel its subtle warmth against your skin. When you find the strength to open your eyes, the warm, comfortable ambiance of Sylus’s home greets you once more.

You use the sleeve of his sweater to wipe at your face. “I’m sorry.” Your voice cracks. You cringe with embarrassment. “It’s stupid, I know.”

He hums noncommittally. “Is this what you were telling me not to worry about?” he asks instead.

You nod. “I was looking at… at nightlights,” you admit in a murmur.

“What kind?”

“Hm?” You pull back to look up at him. He lets you, meeting your gaze with a soft seriousness. “What d’you mean?”

He smirks slightly, eyebrow quirking upward. “I mean, what kind of nightlight would you like, sweetie? Fairy lights, a wall light, one of those animal-shaped ones that glows…”

You frown and look away. “You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”

“I’m asking,” he cups your cheek and guides your face to look at him, “so I can buy you one. Now, will you tell me, or do I have to buy every single nightlight on the market?”

You laugh despite yourself. “I have it pulled up on my laptop…”

He grins. “Good.” He pulls you into a chaste kiss. “Don’t hesitate to buy it next time. Or to tell me what’s wrong. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a sad kitten.”

---

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[sweetestcaptainhughes]

Is it a Dark Day? - Cole Caufield

Word Count - 1.9k

Summary - For the first time since you started dating Cole, your depression seems to be coming back to kick you in the ass. Scared of how Cole will react, you do the only logical thing and pull away.

Warnings - depression, the effects of depression, executive functioning issues, but ends in fluff.

Authors Note: This the first part of a series I plan on writing where I take one mental health issue or any type of disorder and pick a player to write about how they would react if their significant other had it. If you have any ideas for future ones or future players please send me an ask. As always thank you for reading and sorry for not posting much lately. 💜

Let me love you masterlist main masterlist

Sometimes your brain likes to remind you that you were in fact not a normal happy person. It was an act that you’ve learned to master over the years, sometimes you're such a good actor you even fool yourself. Until your brain reminds you that you are in fact an actor. Someone who plays a part, and it will happen in a flash. Feeling as if you're having a good day, and then suddenly you hear a song that reminds you of something and you start to feel that exhausted and craving your bed. Or you will be out with friends and they remind you of something they find funny but it only reminds you of how much you were struggling at the time. Although the worst one was when you don’t even know the trigger, you could have been having a great time and then suddenly you will be on your couch for the next three days rotting away. 

The worst part was this time, it’s almost like you felt the signs but ignored it. It started with the fact that it had been a stressful week at work, then you felt tired all the time, you found yourself being late to work simply because you couldn’t get yourself out of bed. Sadly, you were used to this popping up every once in while, knowing it was inevitable to get this all too familiar sadly almost welcoming feeling in your head. It’s like you had a brain fog come over and no matter what you did you couldn’t shake the feeling. But this time was different from all the others, this time you were dating the actual definition of a very hyper individual who always had some joke to say or a smile on his face. Cole was quickly becoming one of your favorite human beings but you didn’t want him to see you like this where you haven’t even taken a shower in 2 days. Cole was one of those people that radiated sunshine and it made you sink further into your couch thinking about how he would react to you right now. Again, your brain makes you think that he would judge you like others have for when your brain made you hate yourself. Thankfully, Cole was on a roadie so what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. 

Knowing that you should probably answer Cole’s messages or answer one of his many facetime calls but you just couldn’t bring yourself to. Somehow during the last couple days, your mind seemed to alter your perception of time. Thinking that Cole would still be on his roadie for at least another day. But suddenly you heard banging on your apartment door. 

“Baby?! Open the door please.” Cole pleaded on the other side of the door. Hearing his voice shocked you to your core, part of you wanted to open the door and tackle him. Allowing yourself to feel his comforting warmth hoping that some of it would make you feel even a tiny bit better. The rest of you were screaming to pull yourself more into the hoodie that you were wearing, pulling the blankets higher up to hide your body from the world. Letting your emotions overtake you when you realized you were wearing Cole’s hoodie because you wanted him more than anything 3 days ago when you started your couch rotting. It’s funny how time can change things, because nothing could get you up now and walk 30 feet to go open your apartment door. 

Cole’s pleas and banging didn’t stop, “baby please! Tell me what I did.” he begged through the door. “y/n?” he said much softer than before, you could barely hear it from where you were hiding in your living room. “Please open up or I’m gonna use my key you gave me for emergencies.” The tears that were lightly streaming down your face now full on ugly crying. Of course that was the moment Cole decided to enter your apartment. 

Hearing the door shut behind him as he entered your apartment. “Love where are you?” he asked, before he noticed what appeared to be the shape of your body on the coach. Once Cole did notice you, it was like he was on his knees in front of the sectional in seconds, even though he was on the other side of the apartment. “Mamas you awake, my love?” he asked gently as you felt him taking his palm and rub comforting circles all down your side. As your body registered his voice and processed words and touched your silent sobs became very much more real and loud. 

“Hey shhh babygirl whats wrong?” he asked as his other hand not rubbing circles now your back went to grab the edge of the blanket. In a quiet voice Cole spoke his next words very carefully.  “Honey, baby I'm gonna remove the blanket okay.” 

His voice was telling you that he wasn’t asking but you didn’t care as you started to protest. “No no don’t” your voice started to crack “no I don’t want you to.” As you grabbed the blanket to keep it from moving. 

“Why not?” you could tell in his voice that he was feeling hurt. 

“I don’t want you to see me like this.” softly you admit not sure if your confession was more of admitting to Cole you didn’t want him to see you or confirming what your body was telling you earlier. 

His voice barely over a whisper “what? Did I hurt you? Baby you haven’t answered a single one of my texts in 2 days, I spent most of today trying to not panic as I called your phone. Please baby let me see if you're okay?” Hearing his voice on the last few words and how he seemed to be fighting his own emotions. Feeling as if your own heart broke at that moment, the last thing you wanted to do was bring Cole down with you. 

“You're gonna judge me.” you mumble, most of you knows that your thoughts are irrational but the part of your brain that’s calling the shots at the moment truly believes. 

“Never.” his voice stern. With that yoo you couldn’t help but let out a little okay. Within seconds you could feel Cole slowly pulling back the safety of your blankets. Only pulling them down enough to see your face. “Hi beautiful.” he grins at you, the relief clear not only in his voice but his face as his eyes are finally able to see you after being radio silent for 2 days. 

He moves your head so that you're looking up at him as he asks you “please tell me what’s wrong.” He moves his hands so that they are able to wipe some of the tears off your face. 

“I don’t know.” your voice squeaking. Finally letting your eyes focus on him, you see his face is full of nothing but worry. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I-” 

“You’re okay. I’m not mad, baby… I just- I want to know what’s going on in your head.” he admits, and your stomach drops at his confession. Loving Cole was one of your favorite things in your entire life, but Cole was different, he had this way of always being happy. How could someone who you have never even seen to have a frown on his face understand that your brain sometimes fights itself. Leaving you feeling as if even doing the most basic mundane task is out of reach and you don’t even know why. 

Cole has never seen you struggle with your depression and it’s a lot. On top of his busy schedule due to being in the middle of the season, trying to move up from third line or second. Somehow your brain has convinced you all in a matter of minutes that Cole doesn’t have time to sit back and watch you fight your battles. You didn’t even realize that you were lost in thought until you heard Cole’s voice again. 

“Baby” his voice is soft but loud enough for your brain to register that someone was speaking to you. 

“I- I- sometimes I just - my brain it's like it.” Struggling to say what you want to say, finding the words to describe how much you truly feel like death at the moment. 

“Is it a dark day?” he asks gently. You look at him in shock, “it’s okay to have a bad day every once in a while honey. Just please don’t push me away.” softly bending down and kissing your forehead, your body automatically chasing his lips as they leave your forehead. 

“What if it’s more than a day?” you ask.

“Then I’ll be here please just let me love you.” he asks.

“Okay.” feeling yourself caving, allowing Cole to help you, it's almost like your body felt just a sliver of lightness for the first time in days, knowing that Cole felt the same way with the smile he had on his face. 

He moved his hands so they were under your arms gently lifting you so he could lay comfortably with you on the coach. “Okay we can lay here for a little longer, then I’m gonna help you shower and get some clean sweats on alright?” 

All you can do is nod, feeling overwhelmed with the love that Cole is showing you. Cole stayed true to his words after a few minutes he picked you up and carried you to the bathroom. Balancing on the balls of his feet in front of you on the toilet seat, his hands resting in yours on your thighs.He already turned on the water to warm up “Do you want me to stay or are you gonna shower by yourself.” 

“Don’t leave.” the phrase rushing out of you, feeling scared if you didn’t get it out fast enough Cole would leave you again with nothing left but your thoughts to keep you company.

“I won’t until you tell me. We can shower together it’s okay” Finally making eye contact with him again, a giant pout on your lips looking as if you were gonna cry again. He took one of his hands that was resting with yours and took it to your face. “Hey hey you're alright. I promise. This will pass.” Finally moving his lips to yours for the first time since he came over, it was full of nothing less than the love he felt for you. He poured every single emotion into that kiss, it made you feel loved, safe, adored, cared for. Finally pulling apart you whisper a small ‘thanks.’ “Let’s get you cleaned up baby.” As he helps you undress and then quickly shedding his own clothes before helping you in the shower. He helped you wash your body and your hair, giving you little wet kisses all over your body, whispering reassuring words between the kisses. He wasn’t trying to start anything, he just wanted to show you how much he loved you when you couldn’t find anything to love about yourself. 

Cole stayed with you that night, actually his only entire weekend off. He had to go to morning skate that Monday morning since it wasn’t optional. But from that weekend on you never felt closer to Cole. He was your light even on your darkest days, and he helped you find yourself every time you felt your depression pulling you away. Every time he noticed you randomly ghosted him. Or seemed distant in your eyes like your mind was somewhere else, he would always ask you one simple question “is today a dark day?” so that he always knew how to care for his girl.

[yokumirumerafan]

Can you do one where Y/N did something like super dangerous and came back home hurt and the kny characters get super mad at Y/N and asks why they didn’t ask for help and Y/N says “I just want to be brave and strong like you”

🔥 Kyojuro Rengoku

“YOU COULD’VE BEEN KILLED!”

He’s yelling—but not out of anger. His voice cracks mid-sentence.

Grabs your shoulders and looks into your eyes.

When you whisper those words, his expression shatters.

“You already are brave, my flame. But you don’t need to prove anything by getting hurt.”

Kisses your forehead gently while wrapping you in bandages and his love.

🌊 Giyuu Tomioka

“You’re hurt. You’re bleeding.”

He’s stiff with emotion, trying not to explode.

The silence is heavy. His hands tremble while cleaning your wounds.

“Why didn’t you ask me?”

You say, “I just wanted to be brave—like you.”

He freezes, looks down. “I’m not brave. I’m just... afraid of losing people.”

Pulls you close. “Next time, I go with you.”

🦋 Shinobu Kocho

“Oh, look who returned. Battered and broken.”

Her voice is light, but her hands are tight and fast as she treats your injuries.

“Why did you go alone?”

“I wanted to be brave like you.”

Her hands stop. Her smile falters.

“You think I’m brave because I go in alone? I’m terrified, Y/N. Every single time. But I do it because I have people watching my back.”

She cups your cheek. “Please let me be one of those people for you.”

😤 Sanemi Shinazugawa

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!”

He’s full-on pacing, fists clenched.

You flinch and say your line.

And that’s when he stops.

“Brave like me?” he scoffs, eyes wide.

“You think coming back half-dead makes you strong?! You’re already strong, dumbass. You got a heart bigger than mine.”

He grumbles while awkwardly tending to you.

“Next time I’m coming. Whether you want me to or not.”

🐍 Obanai Iguro

“…You’re a fool.”

His voice is deadly quiet.

Kaburamaru is coiled anxiously around his shoulders.

You explain yourself softly.

He looks away.

“Don’t be brave like me. I’m cursed. You’re... better than that.”

But then he sighs.

“If you must go on dangerous paths... at least let me walk beside you.”

🌸 Mitsuri Kanroji

“Y/N-CHAN!! YOUR ARM!!! 😭”

She’s sobbing while wrapping you in a million bandages and hugs.

“You scared me so bad! Why did you go without me?”

You sniffle and give your reason.

She gasps.

“BUT YOU’RE ALREADY THE BRAVEST SWEETHEART I KNOW!!”

She smothers you in affection.

“Let me help next time, okay? Being strong is also about knowing when to ask for help!”

🌫️ Muichiro Tokito

“You almost died.”

He sounds calm, but there’s a tremor in his tone.

He’s kneeling next to you, inspecting each bruise with soft hands.

“I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Too late.”

You tell him you wanted to be brave like him.

He stares at you. “Bravery isn’t recklessness. You’re already stronger than you think.”

He sits beside you in silence, watching over you like a little guardian.

💎 Gyomei Himejima

He’s crying silently the whole time.

“Y/N... I thought I lost you.”

He cradles your hand in his huge, trembling ones.

You whisper your reason.

“Child... You are already brave. You face your fears with a heart full of love. That is the greatest strength of all.”

He prays for your safety—and then makes sure you never go on another mission alone again.

⚡ Tengen Uzui

“UN-FLASHY. Reckless. Almost died. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!”

He’s pacing in full panic-husband mode.

You wince, but when you tell him why, he just… stops.

“You want to be like me? Babe, I get help all the time. I don’t fight alone. I have my wives, my backup plans, my escapes.”

He kneels beside you, brushing your hair back.

“Strength isn’t about being alone. It’s about being smart and knowing who’s got your back.”

He wraps you in his arms. “I’ve got yours.”

🐗 Inosuke Hashibira

“WHAT THE HELL, Y/N?! WHY’D YOU GO WITHOUT ME?!”

This man is a WHOLE MESS.

He’s screaming, running around in a panic, not even sure how to fix your wounds.

“Y-You could’ve died, dumbass!”

You tear up, mumbling, “I just wanted to be strong like you…”

He freezes.

“Wha—?”

Then he goes red, totally panics harder.

“You—You don’t gotta do stupid stuff to be strong! Just train with me, dummy!! I’m your partner!! We’re supposed to fight together!!”

He sits beside you while aggressively holding your hand like: “You’re not going without me ever again.”

⚡ Zenitsu Agatsuma

“Y/N-CHAAAAAANNNN!!! YOU’RE BLEEDINGGGG 😭😭😭”

He’s already crying before you say anything.

He’s trying to bandage you up while having a full mental breakdown.

“You didn’t even tell me you were going!! I WOULD’VE PROTECTED YOU!!”

You quietly say your reason, and he FREEZES.

“Brave? Like me?”

He’s so stunned he stops crying.

“Y/N… I’m only brave when I’m protecting the people I love. You don’t need to go it alone. I’ll be brave for you, okay?”

He’s now glued to your side. Full-time shadow mode activated.

🐉 Tanjiro Kamado

Soft gasp “Y/N…”

He’s already tending to your wounds carefully, hands shaking slightly.

“You didn’t have to do this alone. You should’ve called for help…”

You whisper the line.

He goes absolutely still.

“You… already are strong. And brave. Bravery isn’t about getting hurt—it’s about doing the right thing even when it’s hard.”

He gently presses his forehead to yours.

“But please, next time… let me be there for you. I want to protect you, too.”

🔫 Genya Shinazugawa

“…What the hell is wrong with you?”

Bro’s pissed—but like, the panicked older brother energy kind.

“You’re an idiot. You should’ve called for help.”

You sniffle, voice cracking as you say you just wanted to be strong like him.

His breath hitches.

“…That’s dumb.”

But he’s soft now. Bandaging you up while avoiding eye contact.

“You don’t need to prove anything to me, got it?”

His voice is quieter. “If something happened to you, I’d lose it. Just… don’t go alone again. Please.”

[maplegracefour]

You - Schlatt song fic

* ˚ ✦ Song: You - dodie

Summary: A summer fling. Or was it?

Warnings: Alcohol (minor mention)

Word Count: ~1200 words

Author’s Note: This is very much a vomit on a page moment, I missed the old school 2014 ukulele music I would listen to as a teenager and this came to mind as I was listening. It’s quite choppy and maybe a bit confusing. I’m not really happy with it but enjoy it regardless if you’d like :)

I told you I was looking for some empathy

Well you fooled me

Just, a touch and a thought and I was gone

May 4th 2024, 22:46

Parties weren’t your thing. But alas, if you were going to live in LA, if only temporarily, you had to live the LA lifestyle. At least that’s what your friends said in an attempt to sell you the idea of attending. Funny how as soon as you got there, none of them were anywhere to be seen.

Working on a long-term project that had shifted your life trajectory had seemed worth it at the time, but standing on your own in the corner of some sort of ass-kissing festival seemed like hell on earth. You hadn’t even noticed a figure standing beside you until he spoke.

“You don’t look like you’re having a good time.” He murmurs, nursing a plastic cup of some mysterious liquid.

Your head turned, spinning to greet the smug smirk of JSchlatt himself. You leant back against the wall, gripping your drink a little tighter. “I’m not.” You responded, nonchalantly.

He paused, as though thinking of the exact right thing to say. “Anything I can do to change that?”

“You can answer a question.” You turned to face him, one shoulder against the wall. You two were way closer than you’d expect two people to stand and why did no one tell you that this man is so much more attractive in person? “Why does this place just feel like a massive dick measuring contest? Does anyone here have just an ounce of empathy?”

He laughed, a large belly laugh. The sound was like music to your ears, much to your dismay. 

And now someone’s gonna get to know the better you

When I was supposed to

Why did it have to be you?

September 8th 2024, 15:22

It had hurt much more to leave than you ever had expected it to. Staring out the window of the long-haul flight, your mind was preoccupied. It was hard to even look back at what happened.

How could he just say nothing? How could he pretend that nothing had happened between you? Was it really all just a bit of fun?

I guess

Now the next time there’s an opportunity

I’ll tread more carefully

My heart’s running out of cellotape

October 13th 2024, 19:24

You tried dating, you tried every single app that suggested being able to build any sort of connection. Anything to fill the void inside you that he had left there.

Even if you got on with them, it just wasn’t right. You couldn’t let yourself open up, many of them fizzled away after dry texts. The ones that you had a date with, you can’t remember a single one that called you again afterwards. But you didn’t care.

After him, no one ever made you feel the same.

You know

How is it I’ve never felt that way before?

I was so sure

It wasn’t going to be you

July 2nd 2024, 10:41am

There had been no apprehension. You two slotted in together like you had known each other for years. You spent almost all your time together. Schlatt postponed his flight, telling Ted that it was to work on the podcast, or he wanted to host a couple meeting in person. But Ted knew it was to spend more time with you. 

“Hey man, where’ve you been?” Ted asked, looking up from the couch when Schlatt walked into his apartment. Schlatt waves him off, grumbling something about needing to sleep.

“It’s the middle of the day, the fuck you been doing?” Ted continued his questioning to no avail as Schlatt ignored him and walked into the spare room.

Days of hanging out, cooking you dinner and absolutely thrashing your ass at Mariokart turned into late nights, whispering about your goals and dreams. And then those whispers became sweet nothings, heavy breathing, gasps for more.

Neither of you intended it to be this way, you had insisted that you were just friends. But, that’s not the way it was, was it?

Why do all the red flags,

Just look like so much fun?

I have a habit of

Searching for the damage

To share my love

August 19th 2024, 21:59

You had started to feel more. You couldn’t help it. How could you not?

You knew it was a bad idea, confessing. You’d be gone in a couple of weeks. You had been psyching yourself up for the past few hours whilst curled up on the couch with him, limbs tangled together and a throw blanket draped over you both.

“Jay, can we talk?” You asked, pulling yourself up from his grip to sit opposite him.

He frowned, arms reached out as if you were still in them. “Uh, yeah. What’s going on?”

“I wanted to know where we stand.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“I just thought we were kinda just messin’ around.” He said, scratching the back of his head. His eyes were darting around, avoiding yours. “Nothing serious.”

“Yeah, cool.” You shook your head, a weak laugh escaping your lips.

“You sure? You seemed pretty serious for a sec there.” He said, looking you up and down.

You laughed again, a nervous habit you had as you shook your head again. “Nah, I’m okay. I just wanted to check that we were on the same page.”

I promised to be numb

But somehow you were the one

Now to unwind

Months of a good time

September 8th 2024, 14:41

You noticed the distance immediately. Schlatt went from being at your AirBnB everyday to every other day. Then it was once a week. For a couple hours a time, you would do your business and he would be out, sometimes before you had even made it out of the bed.

He didn’t even say goodbye in person when you had to fly home. 

When that flight took off, you knew that this was the end. A single summer in your life that meant everything turned into a couple months that you just wish you could forget. But he was always in the background of your mind.

People will tell me that I messed up

And it wasn’t love

And I’m secretly hoping they are right

September 16th 2024, 17:22

Confessing to your friends from home seemed like a good idea at the time but they immediately were sceptical.

Of course, it was just a classic case of a fuck-boy. It was a fling. It should have meant nothing. The next best thing will come along soon.

But something in your mind told you that it couldn’t have been. There was something more there, there had to be. You had been checking your phone almost obsessively.

Just one text. But there’s just radio silence.

Because

Whatever it was, it was wonderful

But non functional

November 22nd 2024, 02:37

Your phone was buzzing. Who the fuck would be calling you at this hour?

The screen read ‘unknown’, making you frown. It could be anyone. But you knew who you were hoping it would be. You reached over your bed, picking up the phone and clicking that little green button.

“Hello?” Your voice was raspy, throat dry.

“Did I wake you up?” Oh fuck. Oh shit fuck shit. It was him.

“Yeah.”

“Sorry.” There was silence for a moment, like he was unsure of what to say. “Could I just talk to you for a few minutes?”

I really hope I don’t love you

[stonedcoldfoxtarot]

What effect do you have on your crush?

From left to right:

Pile 1 -> Pile 2

Pile 3 -> Pile 4

Pile 1 Zazie Beetz

Tower, 4oP, 4oC, Empress, 2oP, Emperor, 9oC rev, Fool rev, 10oP, 5oW, Judgement, 6oW (Magician)

The person who was used to getting their way in relationships, being doted on and even chased by several options, had their world shaken up when they met you. This person was used to holding their cards close to their chest and acting unbothered but you entered their life and made them reconsider everything they thought they knew about love and relationships. Whatever you have done to this person has them seriously reconsidering their long-term goals and priorities when it comes to this connection. And while they might have been hesitant to give up their player ways in the past, this person is now ready to fight for this love because your connection caused them to have a major awakening to the reality of their deepest desires for their future. They see you as the ultimate prize Pile 1 and will take on the competition to win your heart, no matter what it takes.

I heard “She don’t know it yet, but that’s wifey right there” from White Chicks 🤣😩

Pile 2 Legs with boots

Hermit, 10oS rev, Judgement, 4oW, 9oS, Temperance, AoW, World (9oP)

Pile 2, you made this person feel like this is a love that is almost unreal. When you entered their life, they were in a dark or lonely place they felt they couldn’t get out of. They may have gone into a state of self-imposed isolation to get over a painful breakup or betrayal and didn't think they would ever open their heart to new love or find happiness with someone new ever again.

But you helped heal and transform this person by just being yourself and because of your presence, this person was able to close the chapter to a painful time in their life and free themselves from the pain and anxiety that held them back from truly enjoying life to the fullest. You have inspired them to work towards their hopes and goals for the future, which includes you and them being together.

Pile 3 Etch-a-Sketch

2oS, 3oP, 9oC, 5oC, Hierophant, Strength, 3oC, World, 9oS rev (10oP)

Since meeting you this person has slowly started to come out of their shell, despite being naturally stubborn, skeptical, and distrustful of others. In the past they may have been closed off to love and establishing new connections due to getting their hopes up only to be left sad and disappointed when things don’t work out. When this person cares for someone or something they tend to put their all into it but if things go south or the other party doesn’t put in the same amount of effort they tend to get discouraged and give up.

This person feels energized and uplifted when you’re around them. They feel you have opened their eyes to a world they previously feared or avoided due to anxiety and fear of rejection. They now see you as a part of their “tribe” and feel that with you by their side they can take on anything life brings.

Pile 4 When Can I See You?

2oS, 3oW rev, 10oP, 5oC, Strength, Hanged Man, 10oS, 10oC

Is your person already taken, pile 4? If yes, you might be a sneaky link or a "what if" connection that lives within someone's imagination. Whenever you are around, this person loses their train of thought and can barely think straight. Your attention makes them have thoughts of reckless abandon about leaving everything behind to run away with you for a night of unbridled passion and love making. However, they realize they would hurt a lot of people with this level of betrayal, so they hold back.

Regardless, this person still feels very moved by you and it takes a considerable amount of effort for them to hold back strong feelings of attraction and affection towards you. At times they may even refuse to look, speak or interact with you to keep their composure. Their feelings and desire for you run deep, but they know the two of you could never be so they do not pursue things further.

Thanks for reading 🔮✨

© 2023 stonedcoldfoxtarot. All rights reserved. Please do not copy, translate, edit or redistribute.

[spicymushroomz]

Mess Ups

Leander Prewett x Reader

Summary: Reader works up the courage to ask Leander Prewett out after 2 years of liking him.

Word Count: 978

Warnings: None

*NOT PROOFREAD

Authors Note: this is my first fic! Please enjoy

You had been going to Hogwarts for only 2 years, and a lot has certainly happened. But the most confusing thing of them all had to be the boy you found yourself in love with.

Leander Prewett. A tall, freckled, red-headed boy in Gryffindor. He was the prefect, and had a tendency to brag. The catch was that he messed up quite a lot. You found it quite endearing.

Your first time seeing him had been in DADA where he and Sebastian Sallow had started dueling. Leander had almost gotten a giant skull dropped on him. If not for Professor Hecat. Your first official meeting however, was in Herbology where he had volunteered to show you the chinese chomping cabbages.

He walked behind you, letting you lead the way as he complimented your dueling against Sebastian in DADA.

“That was quite the duel. It’s nice that somebody finally put Sallow in his place. I would’ve done it myself if not for Professor Hecat.” At his compliment you felt your cheeks flush.

“Thank you Leander. It was actually my first time dueling.” You replied, unable to look him in the eye.

“That’s quite impressive. I hope to see more of your dueling feats.” He said, unaware of the way your heart seemed to leap out of your chest.

That day changed many things for you. As you found yourself catching feelings and constantly seeking out Leander. You thought he was charming. You thought he was charming. His smile, his laugh. You especially loved how even if he failed he still tried again.

Your friends did not share this sentiment.

“Prewett? Really?” Asked Natty in disbelief.

Imelda nodded her head. “I have to agree with Natty. He’s a bumbling idiot, and a fool. He probably puts his shoes on the wrong foot.”

You argued back. “I think he’s dashing. So what if he messes up, don’t you think he’s just adorable?”

They simply looked at you.

You sighed. “He’s very brave. Even though he messes up, even if he’s teased, he still tries. That makes him so very valuable to me.”

You reminisced on a time in your 6th year, when a group of Gryffindors laughed at you for messing up a simple wiggenweld potion.

“What kind of idiot messes that up?” One asked.

“How can the ‘Hero of Hogwarts’ be such a dud?” said another.

You thought it was stupid that it bothered you, it shouldn’t have. You’ve fought trolls and hordes of goblins. You didn’t need the approval of some jealous Gryffindors, and yet you still found yourself crying under a tree afterwards.

Their scrutiny hurt. After all you had done for this school people still didn’t like you. It pained you.

As you sat with your knees against your chest looking at the ground, you felt someone sit next to you. It was Leander. You quickly wiped your tears, embarrassed he had found you in such a state.

“O-Oh Hello Leander.” you said nervously, glancing at him. He looked at you with furrowed brows. “What are you doing here?”

“Garreth told me what happened in potions. Don’t listen to those twats.” He said, looking at the ground in frustration.

“It’s okay. It doesn’t really matter.” You told him. Your heart fluttered at the fact he came to find you.

. “It’s not okay. How could they say that to you?” He turned to look at you. “After everything you’ve done for this school, tf they made fun of you for something as simple as a failed wiggenweld potion then there’s no hope for the rest of us.” he chuckled sadly.

“You’re very sweet.” You told him. Your mind felt lighter at his reassurance.

“I’m jealous of you, you know.” He told you candidly, cracking a cocky grin. “You took everything at Hogwarts like a fish to water. I’ve been using magic my whole life and yet I can never do anything correctly.” He smiled as he said this, but you could see his sadness. “If there’s one thing I learned, It’s that you can’t let people get to you easily.”

He patted your shoulder. “We need to get back to the castle before curfew.”

He stood up, and pulled you to your feet.

You smiled at him. “Thank you for your encouraging words, Leander. For the record, I think you’re a wonderful person.” You saw his face turn fuschia, and you let out a giggle.

Now in your 7th year, you decided you would finally work up the courage to ask him out to Hogsmeade.

It was breakfast, and you made your way over to where Leander sat at the Gryffindor table.

“Hello Leander.” You said, as you nervously fiddled with your fingers. He turned to look at you, face stuffed with toast. You giggled at the sight.

“Yes?” he said, looking at you curiously.

“Well, I-um, I’ve been in love with you since 5th year, and I just was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me later?” You waited a beat.

Leander paused.His face turning fuschia once more. It felt like the entire breakfast hall had gone quiet at this confession.

“You want to go to Hogsmeade…with me?” He asked in disbelief. You nodded your head. He stared at you blankly, unable to comprehend how anybody would want to go out with him. You started to falter. He wasn’t responding, you clearly had embarrassed him. Just as you were going to turn away he finally answered. “Yes!” he answered, a little too enthusiastically. He cleared his throat. “Ah- I mean, of course. I would have to be a fool to say no, and I am no fool.”

You felt elated. “So would 3 o’clock be okay?” You asked happily.

“That would be wonderful.” He said, still bright red.

You gleefully went back to your table, feeling this was the start of something beautiful.

——————————————————————————

I Hope you enjoyed this! It’s a bit short but I think I might do a part 2 where they go to Hogsmeade.

[yulin-pop]

⤷ ✧ The Trapped Princess of Twisted Wonderland

Fem reader

- order 80 | Series

↺ previous chapter

Ace put up that fake nice guy facade and it wasn’t convincing at all, maybe only because you knew it was fake anyway. Grim believed everything he said.

You kept a blank expression and almost wanted to run away but stayed. Things progressed the same as before. If there was anything different, you noticed he had a few people standing behind him snickering and whispering to each other.

“I haven’t introduced myself, have I? My name is Ace Trappola, my father is the Marquis from the Queendom of Roses!” He sounded very cocky, very artificial. “Don’t talk very much do you? I assume you’re a commoner.” Before you can respond, he got right to it.

“Everything about you reeks of low. You two were absolute fools back there.”

You knew it was coming yet it still startled you. The people behind him began to laugh louder, than people around you stared.

Grim was getting more and more heated by the second. You wondered if you should stop him or allow him to attack. Then again, you yourself had your own magic. Crowley gave you your magic pen too…

“Who do you think you are?!” Grim shouted at him. You put your hand in front of Grim and pointed your pen at Ace.

“Grim, just don’t.”

Ace didn’t seem intimidated at all. Now that you realize, you haven’t casted a single spell. You know you’re well able to but… how do you cast magic?

“You wanna know about magic?” Deuce asked as you stared at his pen curiously.

“How does it feel when you cast it?” You asked as you touched his arm. He has to think for a minute. Casting magic came to easy to him he couldn’t put it into words.

“Hm like delivering a punch sorta. It’s different for everyone. When you cast magic, you really have to imagine what you want to do with your magic. Like if I wanted a create a whirl of wind!”

He held his pen and a gust of wind made a complete mess of your hair, nearly knocking you off your feet.

From behind you, Ace caught you by the shoulders and laughed. “Deuce, you need better control of your magic…“

You look back at the stuck up, Noble boy Ace in front of you and continued to hold out your pen.

You wouldn’t want to hurt him too much. You squint your eyes then with the flick of your pen a little wisp pops out. Ace moved to the side as it approaches close to him and it fades out quickly.

“What kind of magic was that?! You’re useless!” Grim shouts as the heart rises to your face from utter embarrassment.

“H-how embarrassing…”

“I’ll do it!”

Ace and his friends had a short moment of laughter until Grim stepped up. While they were still distracted by your embarrassing attempt at magic, Ace took the fire spell head on.

Grim’s flames were hot, you knew from experience. There was smoke shrouding his figure, unable to make heads or tails of his well being.

When it all cleared out, Ace was knocked down on his butt with Crowley standing in front of him. You could tell from his expression he was not happy.

All three of you got scolded, mainly you and Grim for trying to resort to violence. But again, Ace is to blame for not having any manners.

“Oh… what to do with you lot. I know, Trappola and you two!” He pointed at the three of you, “You will take disciplinary etiquette classes with Professor Trein everyday afterschool for a week— two weeks actually!”

You eyed Ace and saw a look of absolute outrage mixed with a hint of regret.

“But Headmage, you don’t understand—“

“We can make that three weeks, Trappola.”

He bit back his excuses and the three of you nodded your heads. The first day, haven’t even gotten to class yet, and you already found yourself in the noble definition of detention.

“You are dismissed. You best make your way on to class before you’re tardy.” You checked the time and noticed it was about two minutes before the first bell would ring.

You walked with Grim to the first class of the day, but in front of you was Ace. It’s no surprise since you’re both first years but it’s awkward… You heard him sigh to himself as he seldomly walked without all his friends.

“Will you pick up your feet?! You really are a commoner.” Ace scoffed as he turned around.

“Stop picking fights. We already know what happens then.” You said. Grim wanted to yell at him but you just nudged him with your leg and walked ahead of the noble boy.

You didn’t realize until you entered the classroom that you had the same class as him. He clearly showed his dismay and found his seat right before the first bell rang.

—

The last bell rang just the same as how the first bell did. Students filled the air with chit chat as they left their classrooms and made their way down the halls.

You didn’t realize but Ace left the classroom? He went in the opposite direction of Trein’s classroom.

“Oh boy, let’s do him a favor and go get him before he gets in bigger trouble.” Grim said without any hint of surprise.

You nearly got ran over by those tall guys from Diasomnia and almost offended a few Heartslabyul students trying to make your way in Ace’s direction. Eventually, you reached him and looked him straight in the eye to make sure he was paying attention.

“Ace, why are you skipping? You’re just gonna get in deeper trouble if you skip.” He was surrounded by all his friends. It made you nervous of the response you’d receive.

“Don’t tell me you’re actually gonna go? Skip it, nice and easy. But, maybe you common folk need it.”

Why is he such an asshole?!

His friends erupted into laughter. “Let’s go Ace, she’s really not all that important anyway.” Just like that, the group left.

Rightfully, Grim was fuming.

“The nerve of that guy! We may not know etiquette but that doesn’t mean he can be such a jerk.” Grim continued to ramble on for a while until you just stepped ahead.

“We might be late. Let’s go.”

You weren’t gonna let yourself be bothered by this. You show up just as he takes attendance of who’s there. From what you see, it’s mainly those from the country side it seems or just people who are nervous.

There is one person that stands out, Deuce Spade. You wonder if you’d have an opportunity to speak with him. Becoming friendly with Ace is impossible at the moment— but what about Deuce?

—

“Spade, is it?” You approach him and ask. You apply what you’ve learned from the lesson just then. “My name is [Name].” You decided to keep the last name out and your title, “I believe we have to the same class. You’re from Heartslabyul?”

He stammered for a bit and scratched his head. His face turned pink and he looked down as he continued to stutter endlessly.

She’s a true lady. I’m so scared what do I even say to her?!

“Dude, pull it together.” Grim mumbled at his pathetic display.

Somehow that snapped him into shape. “Yes, I am Deuce Spade. My father is Spade Baron. I’m in class 1-A just the same as you… is there anything you need?”

You shook your head. “Not at all. I just thought I’d greet my classmate.” You smiled and he flinched with his face turning a darker shade of red.

From there, you found an actual friend. You’re glad to see that Deuce didn’t change very much. What the hell happened to Ace? He’s so stuck up and irresponsible! You didn’t think he would be this different.

Ace never got in trouble for skipping etiquette classes as far as you saw. It felt weird being in Night Raven but without Ace and Deuce arguing with each other.

Deuce was uptight around you. Grim was a little bit quiet. Ace didn’t even glance at you. It wasn’t right.

“Why do you push Ace to attend when you know he’s not?” Grim asked. You got laughed at for the fifth time this week trying to make him attend the etiquette lessons.

You didn’t want to give an answer so all you did was turned around and make your way in the direction of Trein’s classroom. You were lost in thought and didn’t see the person ahead of you.

“Deuce… You saw all of that?”

He panicked at getting caught but nonetheless responded. “Ah yeah! I figured I would wait for you this time so we could walk together but I saw that and…” He went silent. “Trappola is odd. In front of his friends he’s just like that to me as well but we actually dorm together. He’s really cool when it’s just the two of us. We still don’t really know each other but…”

It makes sense. Then again Ace may hold a grudge because of the fight on the first day.

It was then when you got back to your room, you began devising a plan!

—

Strategically you make your moves. You sit down next to Deuce at lunch. You weren’t going to eat though, you needed to do homework.

You take out the paper and a pen then get to work. You kept taking small glances at Deuce.

“Ah… I’m not sure if this is the right answer.” You let out a distressed sigh.

“Oh you’re doing the worksheet from class? Let me see.” He scooted in closer. As he did that, you leaned into him slowly.

“I don’t have the textbook. Do you?”

“No not at the moment. It’s in my dorm.”

Your eyes glint at the opportunity and you turn to look at him. “Can I borrow it?”

“Oh, yeah of course. I can bring it to you tomorrow.”

“Oh I wouldn’t want to put you through the trouble. Maybe I could just drop by your dorm directly after classes to pick it up. Maybe we can study together too!”

He was hesitant but agreed. Your plan was simple, just spy on Ace and possible try to befriend him. You highly doubt the second part. But you couldn’t help but ask a quick question.

“Deuce are you engaged to anyone perchance?” Immediately, his face turned pink.

With a little bit of fear, and maybe some hope, he responded. “N-no I’m not. Why is it that you ask.”

“No reason.” You smiled at him.

Grim scoffed while eating up his lunch. They need to stop flirting in public…

Grim was getting really tired of the after school lessons on behavior. He was so ready to drop it as soon as he could but you want to keep going for some reason! Grim couldn’t understand you half of the time but it seems like you could fully understand him.

You were rather mysterious. He knew all the basic info, for the most part. You haven’t even told him what kingdom you were born in or your last name. You haven’t told anyone actually? You always cut off the teacher before they say your last name and you don’t just go throwing around your title like most people at Night Raven do.

He got a peak at the role sheet somehow. “Emprithea? What kind of last name is that.” Probably just a small family name. Maybe a line of merchants?

He was snapped back into reality when tapped in the shoulder by you. “So are you gonna study with us after school?”

“Ugh do I have to?” Grim groaned. He’s never been one for sitting down and studying. It’s not like there was a huge test coming up so he really doesn’t have to.

Lazy, yes. But it’s his decision.

—

“Please don’t mind the slight mess.” Deuce said while opening the curtains to let the sunlight in. It really didn’t look much different from the previous world really. “I don’t have another chair but I can sit on the bed.”

“Whatever is fine with me.” After getting everything situated. He offered you his chair. You declined politely and insisted you could just sit on his bed.

“You’re the guest so you should get the chair.” He tried to reason with you.

“No thank you, I prefer sitting in the bed.” You hopped up on the bed next to him and smiled at him.

You were definitely a noble lady. A refined, pretty one at that. He didn’t even need to ask to know that. Most nobles could sense he was less experienced in terms of etiquette and they didn’t look down upon him persay but just treated him differently.

But you were so sweet and kind right off the bat. You actually wanted to spend time with him. He could just be getting his hopes up but you like him a lot too…

“[Name], you’re so nice…” He quietly said in bliss.

The door opened and walked in a familiar red head with a heart on his face. He didn’t say anything but he was surprised to see you specifically.

“Shouldn’t we start studying now?” You suggested trying to ignore Ace. But this is exactly what you needed.

If you’re correct, this is the day Ace gets kicked out of Heartslabyul. He doesn’t know that the tart belongs to Riddle… Or maybe I’d be a different reason today. By now you two would’ve already been best friends.

You were trying to do your work and yet you kept glancing over at Ace in the corner of your eye. You were glad he was preoccupied with whatever he was doing because with how hard you were staring, you’d definitely get caught.

The study session with Deuce went by smoothly even though you were distracted half of the time. About 20 minutes ago, Ace walked out of the room or whatever reason.

“It’s getting a bit late, perhaps I should be heading home now. I heard your housewarden is strict on curfew rules.” You said to Deuce as you put your papers into your folder.

Deuce nodded and helped put away your things and handed it to you neatly. “Yeah, there’s a lot of punishments being handed out everyday. Since, we have to follow every one of the Queen’s Laws.” He grimaced.

You nodded, “I see…”

The two of you stood up and ended that conversation quickly as you walked out the room. Since you didn’t want to get in trouble for talking down on Heartslabyul or the Queen.

Deuce led you down the halls and rooms to the exit but it was taking a bit and you felt as if you were going in circles.

“This place is still so hard to navigate…” Deuce said under his breath, suddenly you two were in the kitchen area.

Some of students were standing around chatting, some were eating or drinking some sort of tea. One of the guys standing around called out to Deuce.

“Yo! Deuce, chillin’ with your new girl

friend or something? Don’t let the warden know. There’s probably a rule against that.”

Deuce denied, “She’s not my girlfriend!!— Wait is there really a rule against that?”

“Probably.”

While they bantered, a certain red head opened the fridge. You couldn’t help but glance over and stare. Yeah, there were three huge tarts in there!! Those did look really good honestly.

“Ace, you better not eat those tarts.” Those words fell from your mouth so casually, you covered it with your palm quickly and saw him turn his head to look at you.

He did not seem pleased. Deuce was confused— why would you speak to him so casually like he was a friend? You seemed to regret it and shrunk back.

Ace scoffed and closed the fridge, he stopped in front of you. “Stop acting like we’re friends. I don’t know who you think you are but know your place.”

This is what you get. You were acting way too friendly with him. Like when you kept pestering him to attend the disciplinary etiquette classes and just now. The idea that Ace is your closest friend is still stuck in your head.

He walks away, but purposefully bumping shoulders with you which left a bad taste in your mouth. My Ace would never act like this.

“Hold it, Trappola.” Someone said in an angry voice. You hadn’t seen him up close, somehow his presence was even more overpowering than when you first met him in the first world. “How dare you speak to Lady Emprithea that way? “Know your place” you ought to know yours!”

Riddle shouted, overtaken with rage. He casted his signature spell, the collar clamped around his neck. Everyone was staring. Staring at you, but mostly at Riddle or Ace.

Most students grimaced and stared in pity. Then began to whisper.

“Wait, Lady Emprithea? I had no idea that girl was the princess of Ramshackle Kingdom!”

“There’s royalty where ever I go… Better watch my manners.”

“Shut up or else we’re next!”

Soon Riddle turned his attention to you, instinctively Deuce backed away from you two. “I”m sorry for his rudeness. I apologize.” He suddenly got down on one knee and took your hand. He gently kisses your knuckles then looked up at you with a soft smile. “It’s good to see you, Lady [Name].”

[makemyworldworthliving]

Baby

Part 6: Take things slow.

Larissa Weems x reader

Warnings: None.

You wake up to the sound of knocking in the morning, you sit up on your elbows, eyes barely open. You check your clock, 5am. Who the fuck is waking me up at 5am? You sigh and throw on your dressing gown before heading to the front door. You open the door slightly, to see Larissa stood there, in the same clothes from the night before, make up ruined from crying. Your heart sinks and your stomach turns.

‘’What do you want?’’ You ask, barely even being able to look at her.

‘’I was worried… I tried texting and calling you all night but you didn’t respond.’’ Larissa says softly, a lump in her throat.

‘’Didn’t you think that maybe I just didn’t want to respond?’’ You reply harshly.

‘’Please Y/N… let me in so we can talk about this.’’

‘’What is there to talk about? Richard? Our ruined ‘date’? You really hurt me, Larissa…’’ you look down at your feet, leaning against the door slightly. She swallows hard, and leans in further to lower her voice. ‘’I was a fool, Y/N. Richard means nothing to me anymore… to be honest he didn’t mean anything to me back then. But you… you mean everything to me. And I hate myself for hurting you. I promise you, it was never my intention.’’ She reaches through the crack of the door and tilts your head up to look at her. ‘’I can’t lose you, Y/N. Please, I’ll do anything to make this right.’’

Your mind was absolutely racing. All you wanted to do was pull her into your arms, kiss her, hold her and never let her go. But your heart was still broken, and your walls were way up. You think for a moment, before slowly opening the door fully. ‘’You can come in.’’ You say softly as you let Larissa walk past you. You both sit down on your couch, you pull your dressing gown around you tighter and keep your distance from her. Larissa breathes in sharply, clearly feeling anxious. You sigh and sit up, locking your eyes with hers.

‘’Why did you invite him to sit with us?’’

Larissa pauses for a moment, thinking. ‘’I… I don’t know. I suppose I just got caught up in the moment of seeing an old friend.’’

‘’But he wasn’t just an old friend, was he? Did you… did you sleep with him?’’ Your words taste sour leaving your mouth.

You can see the anxiety and upset in Larissa’s eyes, she looks at her feet and nods slowly. ‘’A few times… but it was just sex. There was absolutely no feelings involved.’’

You feel sick thinking of another person touching Larissa. It may have been selfish, but you wanted her all to yourself. You take a moment to compose yourself.

‘’Look, I’m willing to forgive you for what happened.’’ Larissa beams with a huge smile.

‘’But’’

Her smile slowly fades.

‘’I need time. I have been hurt so much in the past and I can’t… I can’t go through that again.’’ Larissa replies with an understanding nod. ‘’So, if we’re to start seeing each other again… I want to take things slow, and to do it properly this time. You don’t get to just fuck me and then flirt with other people. If you’re in this… you’re in this with everything. Okay?’’ You’re almost shocked at how well you were able to set your boundaries, but you’re glad you did. Larissa smiles and takes your hand in hers.

‘’I promise.’’ She says. ‘’I’m all yours. We’ll take things as slow as you want, darling.’’

You can’t help but smile at how understanding she is. You move closer, and place your hand on her cheek. ‘’Let’s get this make up off shall we?’’ She nods and follows you to the bathroom. You take out some make up wipes and tell Larissa to sit on the bed in your bedroom. You follow her and gently start wiping away her tear stained make up. As you wipe away her lipstick, your eyes pause on her lips for a while longer than planned. You clear your through and move away. ‘’All better.’’ As you’re clearly away the make up wipes you can see that Larissa is tired, fighting sleep.

‘’Did you sleep at all last night?’’ You ask.

‘’No… I didn’t. I wouldn’t rest until I knew you were okay…’’ she looks at you with sleepy eyes and a tired smile. You tilt your head and smile at her. You check the clock, 6am. ‘’Let’s get some sleep, it’s still early, and I have nothing planned today.’’ You take off your dressing gown which reveals your oversized t shirt and underwear. You catch Larissa’s eyes wondering and you lift her chin up to look at you. ‘’my eyes are up here.’’ You both share a laugh and you kiss her forehead lightly. Larissa undresses herself and you find her a t shirt she can wear, it’s a little short on her, which you find adorable but won’t admit that right now. You lay down and open the covers for Larissa to slip in next to you. ‘’Can I hold you?’’ She asks, barely even awake. You simply lay in her arms, letting out a happy sigh. You knew this is where you belonged.

(Ahhh sorry this is a short one!! I’m moving house so don’t have much time at the moment 🙈)

[mollierdr2]

Harvest Moon

Summary: Short Arthur and f!reader oneshot that takes place well before the events of the game. They reunite after Y/N leaves the gang for a short while after a blowout fight with Arthur. ALSO, I know that this isn't the long one I said I was going to put out, but I'm still not happy with that one & this one feels fine. 'Tis all.

Warnings: not beta-read lol

Word Count: Roughly 2300

As you strode through the desert, shoeless, horseless, and in a tattered purple skirt, you found yourself wishing you’d elected not to rob the burly rich man from the bar.  Not only did the man catch you, but he spooked your damn horse, knocked you upside the head a few times, and left you in the middle of nowhere with no shoes, for whatever reason.  You were, for lack of a better term, worse for wear.  You were considerably thinner than you’d been in a while–a consequence of leaving the place that fed you steadily–and it had aged you slightly, making you appear to be in your 30s, which you had a certain aversion to.  Your feet hurt–the desert is not particularly kind to bare feet in the blazing sun–and you limped ever-so-slightly as you walked.  This is good, you thought.  Maybe people will think I’m crazy and choose not to approach me.

“You know, it would be easier if you had some shoes on, Y/N,” a familiar voice called, and you stopped dead in your tracks.  You were tired, no doubt, but you’d never been tired enough to hallucinate the voice of your detested lover.  The sound of horse hooves drew closer, and when they stopped, you looked up at the driver slowly, almost comically, and your heart fluttered.  You had missed him.

“Mr. Morgan,” you said, doing your utmost to sound cordial. “I’ll have you know that they was taken from me.”

“Seriously?  Not Arthur?”  He held his hand out, adding, “How the hell did that happen?” He sighed. “Come back to camp and get some damn clothes.”

“I told you I was goin’ off on my own,” you responded, crossing your arms.  “I am doin’ just fine out here; makin’ a real name for myself, you know.”

“Yeah, tryin’ to rob the owner of half the shops in town is ‘makin’ a name for yourself’, huh?  You seem to be real good at that, then.”

“Quit followin’ me around.  I don’t go botherin’ you when you need your space.”  Arthur raised an eyebrow.  “I told you I’d come back when I was ready, and I ain’t ready.”  You spat at the ground with conviction, as if to add some sort of leverage to what you’d said.  

“You’re starvin’ damn near to death, Y/N.  Come for one night, get some food in you—get some shoes—and you can leave again without a word from me.  You just… forgive me, but you look a mess.  Let Miss Grimshaw and the girls take care of you.”

“Arthur-” 

“I won’t give you no trouble, okay?  I got lookout duty tonight, so I won’t be in camp anyway… Abigail asked me to fetch you; do it for her?”  Arthur looked down at you with his big blue eyes and a fresh scar on his chin–perhaps from shaving–and you couldn’t say no.  Besides, Abigail probably did need a lady friend who wasn’t past menopause or in the midst of puberty to help her with her pregnancy struggles.  

Reluctantly, you took Arthur’s hand and allowed him to help you onto his horse, Boadicea.  “Don’t think this means I’m stayin’, Arthur Morgan,” you said, making a point not to hold on to his shoulders.  

“I’m not expectin’ anything,” he said back, gently steering the two of you back towards camp, which you’d been–though subconsciously–heading for anyway.  “Just wanted to make sure you didn’t get yourself killed, is all.”

“How thoughtful,” you mused.

“It has been quiet without you, though-”

“Where’d you get that scar? Fightin’ in bars again?” you interrupted, crossing your arms again. 

“What?”  Arthur’s pitch rose.  

“On your chin.”

“Oh, that’s from tryin’ to help John with shaving. Made a fool of myself an’ he won’t let it go.” Arthur gave Boadicea a nice pat on the shoulder and chuckled. “I suppose you have more new scars than I do, huh, Y/N?”

Feeling heat rise to your cheeks and ears, you said, “I don’t intend to speak to you for the remainder of this ride.  I have been doing my utmost to avoid you.”

Arthur hummed, laughing a little, and  steering Boadicea to the left.  “As you wish.”  

It made you mad that he thought he could tease you after everything that had transpired. He knew you weren’t ready to come back—if you were you’d have gone back on your own accord—but here he was, playing the role of the hero that he’d worked so desperately to fit into. You knew Arthur though, and you knew that no matter how good he was, he would never be the hero he tried to be. No one was a hero in this life. You were certainly no heroine, and you figured that your shared lack of heroism was what brought the two of you together in the first place; your bad would always outweigh your good, but you could make peace with the meshing morality if there was someone else who understood your plight. Someone who understood the way it felt to be so bad and good at the same time as intimately as Arthur did was hard to come by, so you found yourself flocking to him from the very beginning. It was only a matter of time before the curtain fell back and he saw how haunted you were by your past—by the wicked things that you’d inflicted upon people—and you couldn’t help but run from that. You couldn’t have the one person who understood you know how awful you truly were.

Arthur wondered, as he accompanied you back to camp, if this was really worth it. He knew he missed you—desperately—but he didn’t want to fight anymore.  He was sick of spending his days bickering with you, though he found that he missed your presence more than he disliked the arguments.  Arguing meant that you were there, at the very least.  He couldn’t stand not knowing where you were or whether or not you were safe–it was why he’d wound up this far South from Camp anyway.  

He remembered why you’d left.  It was his fault, in a way, for trying to convince you to talk about your family.  He remembered the way you shoved him, crying for him to leave you the hell alone, telling him that you hated him.  He was certain it wasn’t true, that it was a spur-of-the-moment type of thing, but it still ate at him.  There was so much he hadn’t told you yet, and he was afraid that he’d never get to tell you if you stayed gone.  He tugged slightly on the reins, taking a right turn.  He shouldn’t have pushed you, he knew that, but it irked him. He just wished you’d learned how to communicate.

You, despite your best efforts to the contrary, could not bring yourself to commit to hating Arthur.  You tried.  You gave him your best angry glare, but you felt that it was too weak.  You were exhausted anyway, too tired for anger.  You decided you’d be angry at him the next day, after you’d slept for a good 18 hours or so.  You thought back to the last time you’d seen Arthur.  You were so angry with him for trying to get you to talk about your Ma and Pa—that was none of his damn business—but now that you thought back on it, it couldn’t have been too unreasonable.  Arthur was not an unreasonable man.  He was no hero, but he was a levelheaded person. You could have at least told him about your brother, but you didn’t, for whatever reason, and you felt guilty for that.  Still, you had to remain firm in your escape.  If you didn’t force the space, you figured, you would never learn to miss him enough to open up to him.  Or you’d forget all about him and the whole thing would be over.  Either way, you had to remain firm.  If you gave up, the throbbing in your left eye would be for nothing.  Your weight loss, acceleration of aging, bankruptcy, and lack of clothes would all be for nothing, and you couldn’t have that.  It had to be for something.  

Being as tired as you were, you found it increasingly difficult to keep from leaning on Arthur.  Your eyelids were magnets, and you felt it rude to neglect such a powerful force of nature, allowing yourself to indulge a little by closing them.  Soon, you were wrapped around Arthur’s torso, head resting on his shoulder blade, and snoring loudly.  He chuckled but didn’t wake you.  He loved seeing you, perhaps the fieriest woman he’d ever met, at peace.  He sang softly to himself the rest of the way to camp, a smile plastered on his now-scarred face.  

When he slowed, you awoke.  You never woke up peacefully–it was not in your nature to–and instead found yourself pushing your body off of Boadicea, momentarily scared out of your mind.  As you hit the ground, landing rather clumsily on your wrist, you remembered what had happened before and that you had, regrettably, fallen asleep on Arthur, your current sworn enemy.  “You okay?” Arthur asked, chuckling slightly.

“I am fine, thank you,” you spat, sitting up.  You then flew to your feet, wiping the dirt off of your palms and bottom, and stomped to the center of Camp in pursuit of Abigail.  

“Y/N, it’s good to see you back,” Hosea remarked from somewhere or other, but you waved him off.  You were on a mission.  You were to find Abigail, curse her for sending Arthur after you, and then tell her all about everything that had happened in the almost month that you had been gone.  

When you located her–heavily pregnant and lounging in a chair by the fire–you beelined toward her, frowning.  “Abigail Roberts,” you angrily exclaimed, pushing through the crowd of men by the fire.  “Why did you send Arthur after me?”

Abigail, taken by surprise, looked up at you, brows raised.  “Y/N, you’re back!”

“I’m visiting,” you corrected.  “And why did you send Arthur after me?  I was doin’ just fine on my own, you know.”

Looking you up and down, a smirk spread its way across Abigail’s lips.  “Yeah, you look it.”  

“Abigail!”

“All I’m sayin’ is that you’ve looked better in your day, okay?”  She rubbed her swollen belly as she spoke.  “And I didn’t send anyone after you–I figured you’d come when it was your time.  You’re like a cat, you know.”

You frowned.  “So Arthur made that up?”

“Seein’ as how I got no idea what you’re goin’ on about, I’ll venture to say that it’s a yes,” Abigail responded, leaning back.  “Now, will you please fetch John to give me a foot massage?”

You nodded idly, looking around camp.  You did not care about wherever John was, for you were far more worried about the location of Arthur, who had seemingly lied to you about his reasoning for picking you up.  The sun had begun to set, though, and it made it significantly harder for you to find anyone.  This did not stop you, though, and you located Arthur at the Southern outskirt of camp, sitting on a large rock and writing in his journal.  

“Arthur Morgan,” you said, finger pointed.  “You lied about why you made me come back here.”  

Arthur lazily looked up, smirking.  “You wouldn’t have come if I didn’t come up with something.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t have-”

“Let me say my bit now, if that’s okay with you.”  He folded his journal, tucking it into his satchel.  You scoffed, but he started talking before you could make an ass of yourself.   “I really missed you, Y/N, more than I’ve missed anyone.  I kept goin’ back into that town to make sure you weren’t gettin’ yourself hurt or nothin’, and I hated not bein’ able to just tell you that I missed you.  I mean, you were right there, but I couldn’t do it.  After that man scared away your horse, I beat him–I mean really beat him–so he couldn’t do anything like that again.  And I know I ain’t the best at tellin’ you these things or showin’ that I love you, but-”

“You love me?”  You asked, eyes wide.  You’d never been told those words before.

“Well, yeah… I guess I never told you, huh?”

Tears spilled onto your cheeks and you found yourself in the same place you’d been a month before–crying, truly vulnerable in front of a man who wanted to know and love you.  This time, though, you wouldn’t tuck tail and run.  “Arthur, I-”

“You don’t gotta say nothin’, Y/N-”

“No, I just… it’s just… no one’s ever said they love me before,” you mumbled, staring at the ground.  “Not even my Mama.”

“Well, I do, Y/N,” Arthur reassured, putting his left hand on your shoulder and wiping a stray tear with the other hand.  “And I’m sorry if that scares you away because I know you don’t like lots of emotions or anything, but it’s the truth.  I love you.”

You crumpled into Arthur’s embrace, digging your face into his warm, strong chest.  You’d missed this–being in his arms–and though you were scared, you were pretty sure that you loved him too.  The chip on your shoulder melted.  It didn’t matter how long you’d left because you were back and you were, for perhaps the first time in your life, loved, and that was more than you’d ever thought to be imaginable.  Sniffling, you nestled closer, wrapping your arms around his waist.  He wrapped his arms around your weakened, starving torso, holding you tight.  You couldn’t say it out loud yet, not after the pain you’d endured growing up, but you were at least aware of the fact that you loved Arthur Morgan and you could no longer pretend it wasn’t the truth because he loved you too.  He loved you.  

You knew you’d be able to tell him soon enough.

You wanted to dance and scream it from the rooftops–Arthur Morgan loved you and he was willing to wait on you to be ready to be with him.  He was the first person to openly love you, and nothing else mattered.  “Arthur,” you said, looking up at him.

“Hm?”

“Let’s go dance together, real proper, like rich folks do.”  You smiled, pulling away.  Arthur nodded, letting you lead him to the music at the hub of Camp.  Abigail still sat at the center, waiting on her foot massage from John, but seeing the way you and Arthur were together, arm in arm, she decided it was a lost cause.  You were smitten.  Twitterpated, even.  She just wanted her damn feet to feel better.  

“John Marston,” she called, tipping her head backwards towards their shared tent.  “Come give me a foot massage!”

“Yes, ma’am,” he called back, hurrying to her aid.  

Camp was camp again, illuminated brilliantly by a beautiful full moon, and backed with Javier’s soft plucking on his guitar.  It was like out of a book, you decided, as you danced and dipped and twirled in Arthur’s arms.  It was perfect. Softly, too quiet to hear, you whispered, “I love you too.”

[corleonewrites]

La Vérité

AU: Anatomy of a Fall (2023)

Vincent Renzi x Original Female Character fanfic.

Summary: Two people connected by the same past. Two lawyers. And one tangled case which brought them back together again, giving them the opportunity to sort out their feelings towards each other, no matter how painful memories are to both of them can be.

Chapter 2. Nocturne No. 8 In D Flat Major

______________________________________________________________

Underground train was running fast, taking me to my destination: to the café, which was situated in the heart of Paris, right in the Place Vendôme, to meet Vincent. Chopin’s compositions in headphones were passing my ears by without notification as memories started to pop up in my head. I didn’t want to fall into them, but I couldn’t help it just how couldn’t delete old conversation with Vincent from my messengers. It was a habit of mine to reread them from time to time, making me hurt once again.

______________________________________________________________

“Have you heard that there’s going to be teachers exchange this year, Camille?” – asked Loise, a friend of mine when we studied at Université Paris 1 Panthéon-Sorbonne.

It was the final year of master’s studies. I just turned 24 and looked forward to finish studying and start new chapter in life after my graduation. At that time, I wanted to make a pause in studies after receiving my master’s diploma and return to them to get PhD in a couple of years later.

Nothing was extraordinary in exchanging teachers and tutors, as it happened during my BA studies and I myself had one year study exchange and lived in London for final year during receiving bachelor degree.

“And I’ve heard from Estella that he’s quite handsome”, continued Loise, “She saw him in the corridor, he was asking for our lecture room.”

“Oh, please, you’re only thinking about these kinds of things when our exams and degree essays are soon”, I rolled my eyes, taking pens and notebook with student book out from my bag. Sometimes it was pissing me off when everyone was talking only about boys. And yes, sometimes I was jealous for my friends who actually was in relationships, but at that time I concentrated only on my studies.

“And she’s not the only one who thinks the same way! Helene and Annie think that he’s handsome too!”, finished Loise when the door to the lecture’s room opened and the man entered the room: slim figure in grey jacket and black turtleneck, slightly tousled grey hair, and blue-green eyes which caught my attention. I must admit that he was handsome indeed, but at that time I just sat on my desk and opened the notebook, giving to the man zero cunning affair-like attention whatsoever.

Meanwhile, almost every girl in my group, and there weren’t many of them, got all their eyes on him and I felt embarrassed because of it.

“Good morning, class”, the man said and placed his bag on the desk’s chair, “My name is Vincent Renzi and I’ll be your tutor and mentor for this whole study year of your final studies.”, Vincent said and turned to the chalkboard to write his name on it.

I wrote his name in my copybook and looked at him once again, this time paying close attention to what he was about to say to us. How good was his handwriting. I could say it definitely when I looked at the chalkboard with Vincent Renzi name on it.

“I know that we don’t have a lot of time for fooling around, because your final essays are about to be written, but because I don’t know you at all I’m offering you one task for today’s class: take a piece of paper and write a small essay about you. It can be anything you like: why did you decide to study law, what was your favourite subject at school, what’s your favourite colour, just anything”, he smiled a little when he heard how students laughed at his offer cheerfully, “And if you don’t want to write about yourself – write an essay about something you like or want to discuss. Or don’t write at all, and do what you want, but just be quiet.”, he sat on his desk, “You can take your time, you have it until lunchbreak”, Vincent finished and opened his small red notebook and started making notes.

“I’ve told you he is cute”, Loise whispered to me, smirking, but I just rolled my eyes.

“Oh, stop it, Loise, and start writing”.

______________________________________________________________

“Pyramides Station”, the voice of the underground train informed me. It was my stop.

Trying not to fall into the memories completely, I excited the underground. The street was quiet and snowy. Crossing through the traffic lights and crowds of people who were shopping gifts for Noёl, I was getting closer and closer to my final destination.

I asked myself all the time if I was sure that I wanted to take new case, believing ahead that it’d be as tough as my recent one was, when I promised myself to relax and have couple of days off before starting a new one. But at the same time some thoughts were eating me: that I would miss something very great but very emotional and life-changing if I wouldn’t agree.

This uncertainty was in the air when I finally reached the café and opened the door immediately finding a very familiar man, who was sitting in the left corner, near big windows: same slim figure, his same slightly tousled grey hair which now was covering his eyes a little as he was writing something in the small red book, a cup of black coffee was standing nearby. He heard the sound of my footsteps and raised his head up and smiled with a slightly surprised look on his face when I wanted to fall into the ground, and my legs felt like they weighed a ton.

“I’m so happy you could come, Camille”, - his voice was soft and soothing as it was when I’ve heard him for the first time, years ago.

“To be honest, I wasn’t sure that I’d be here at all”, I replied dryly and ordered the cup of coffee as the waiter approached our table, “I’m still thinking about your question and I need to know the details before I’ll make the final decision”

He paused a little, probably astonished by my reply. His gaze quickly ran from my eyes to my hands, which were lighting a cigarette in my mouth.

“Of course, I understand you”, he said and moved closer to me

“Also, I still have the question: why did you write me? You could pick someone else, your colleagues, or another student from my class if you’re this kind of a picky person”, I exhaled the smoke of my cigarette”

Vincent laughed a little, when my heart started to beat faster once again.

“But you’re one of the most successful lawyers in Paris, right? And you’re free”

“Free in what way?”

“I heard you’ve just won the hearing. Congratulations, by the way, I’ve heard it was a tough one”

I smirked “Ah, that’s what’re you talking about. I got you, Vincent. And thanks, it was indeed very hard. Anyways, we’re here not to discuss my successful work, right? What’s the case that you’re working on?”

And Vincent began his story about the tangled and strange case on which he just started to work on, when all the details were still unknown and complicated.

______________________________________________________________

“What were you writing about?”, Vincent suddenly appeared behind my back when I just finished writing my essay about law in cinema.

He picked my paper, when I raised my glance at him looking unemotional.

“You told us to write about anything we like. Here’s my essay about law in cinematography”

“She’s François Truffaut of our class”, Jean-Louis, my classmate and future co-worker said out loud and some of students started to laugh. I just turned back and gave them the look, when Vincent looked at them, then back at me with cunning glance, and placed my papers back on the table.

“Well, at least I now know that with mademoiselle Cadieux I can talk about films and she has a very good taste in them”

I looked at my tutor once again, because I wasn’t sure if he was mocking me or talking seriously, but he wasn’t laughing at all. And in that exact moment I understood that it’d be a very unforgettable final year of my master studies.

______________________________________________________________

“It sounds tricky”, I played with a spoon in my empty cup of coffee, trying to place all the information about the case in order inside my head, “It honestly looks very bad, especially with the fact that your client isn’t French. The law for foreigners is way harder and with the accusations that she has, it looks lost in advance”

The café started to be filled with people who came to have their weekend brunch or just a cup of coffee, couples and friends were laughing. Me and Vincent were still sitting at the same table near the big window. The snow just stopped.

“I know, but I’m sure that this case can be won and that she’s innocent. Well, at least she looks like one.”, sighed Vincent, finishing smoking his cigarette, “And the whole process is taking place in a town near Alps, I just got from there to take all papers and documents that I needed with me, I’m heading there tonight. So, if you make up your mind, Camille, I’ll help with you with accommodation”

“Many thanks, Vince, but I’m not a little girl, I can sort these kinds of things by myself”, it was really irritating sometimes when he was treating me like a small girl, he was always like that, “I’m not sure neither about the case nor about your client, but I love taking risks, so, I’m up for it”, and before Vincent tried to say something else, I finished, “And let’s just make it straight, I’ll help you out and this will be only work-related talks, nothing more than that”

Vincent looked straight into my eyes as he was trying to read my thoughts which were screaming for my loneliness and how much I missed him but hated him at the same time.

“You didn’t change a bit, Camille. You were always a cold-hearted strong and mysterious woman from when I saw you for the first time”, he tried to hide his little smile, but I saw it, pretending that I didn’t and smoked the rest of my cigarette.

For other people I looked serious and cold-hearted, and I tried to convinced myself the same way, and it worked really well during my work. But no one knew that sometimes I cried in the night when I couldn’t keep my emotions inside me no more. No one knew about my weakness. Not even Vincent and he was one of my closest people who I used to know.

______________________________________________________________

La Vérité masterlist

[weirdkpopgirl]

Warmth | Jisung Imagine #2

Title: Warmth

Genre: Hurt/comfort, a little fluff

Warnings: mention of poor mental health, touches on depression and anxiety a little bit, no breakdowns this time though.

Word Count: 951

Author's Note: First off, I'm so sorry for how inactive I've been lately. I have some pending fics for Mark and Haechan that I've been working on over the past two months now. I'm honestly not sure when they'll be posted. I still wanted to post something this week, so here's a little comfort story for Jisung. On a side note, I've been meaning to show more Park Jisung appreciation. Despite him being the youngest member of his group, he has a lot of maturity that I admire. Anyway, thank you for reading ^ - ^

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You let out a heavy exhale, tearing your attention away from the book in your lap to gaze out the window. The storm from earlier in the evening had settled a bit. Now the rain drops were falling in a soothing, rhythmic pattern. Typically, you found these kinds of nights to be quite peaceful. Particularly when you were nestled in the corner of your sofa, snuggled underneath a soft blanket with a book in the gentle glow of your dimly lit living room.

Yet, the gloomy cloud in your mind quietly returned, preventing you from fully enjoying this precious alone time. That’s when you knew things were getting bad again. When sleep was out of the question, and even your favorite book couldn’t block out the dark thoughts entirely. All the nice days full of smiles and laughter from the past month seemed to be bulldozed over by life’s reminder of your misery.

This time, it was the news of your brother cheating on his wife of five years. After last year, you didn’t think things could get worse after your parents finalized their divorce. And it took a hard slap of reality to make you realize what fool you were to believe that. Now the confirmed fact of how broken your family was, you’ve never felt more alone.

Just when you were being drowned by those depressing thoughts, the phone on the coffee table vibrated. Your heart raced when you saw the message notification from Jisung. 

“I’m here, can you come out to meet me?” 

You hesitated for a moment, wondering what drove your boyfriend to come here at 11:12 pm. But you forced yourself up off the couch and made your way outside your apartment. Once the front door was pushed open, you were met with the sight of Jisung standing in the pouring rain. The tall boy was drenched from head to toe, his dark hair plastered to his forehead, and his clothes stuck to his skinny body.

“Jisung…what are you doing here?” You asked, bewildered. A part of you wanted to scold him for not bringing an umbrella. 

The boy’s eyes dropped down to his feet in embarrassment. “I couldn’t sleep back at the dorm, and I don’t know…I had this weird feeling that something was wrong based on the last time we talked.”

A lump formed in your throat as you listened to him go on about how it’s been a long time since you’ve gotten to see each other in person, and how he just had to make sure you were okay. The young male’s thoughtfulness didn’t fail to touch you.

“Are you okay though?” He asked after a short pause, gently pulling you in closer.

His sudden clinginess took you by surprise. Not many people saw this side of him, not even his members. The two of you locked eyes and in that moment, you could see he was trying to hide just how exhausted he was. Jisung didn’t need to say anything for you to know the stress of his work was beginning to pile up again, making him feel like he was carrying the weight of the world.

You almost didn’t want to let Jisung know about the whirlwind of emotions you’ve been experiencing. But you couldn’t lie to him, knowing he had walked all the way here to check on you. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Your voice trembled as you spoke. “Everything is falling apart.”

Your teeth sank into your lower lip, to keep the tears from escaping. But the way Jisung was looking at you made it difficult. His hand practically covered the side of your face when he cupped it.

“I’m here for you, (Y/n)-ah.” He almost whispered. His deep voice sounded so reassuring at times like this.

As he spoke you felt all the emotions you’ve tried to bury, surge through your body. You couldn’t find the right words or actions to express it. All you knew was that you needed Jisung right now, more than ever. Then as if he read your mind, he leaned in and kissed you without warning.

As Jisung’s lips met yours, the rain began to fall harder, creating a soft pattering sound that filled the air around you. You could feel the cold wetness seep through the thin gray long-sleeve you were wearing. But neither of you cared. The warmth radiating from the kiss was enough.

The kiss was full of longing and comfort, leaving you breathless. But the way his lips pressed gently against yours, the way he held you so securely, it all made you feel like the world stopped for a moment. 

Your hands gripped the collar of his hoodie as you gathered the bravery to kiss him harder. The turmoil of your family situation and the pain you’ve indefinitely been holding in temporarily faded away.

Both of you were gasping for breath, but you remained in one another’s embrace. He offered you a soft smile. “Whatever is going on right now, we’re going to get through it together Jagiya.”

You glanced up at him, your heart swelled up with gratitude and admiration. For the first time in a while, you let out a small laugh.

“I love you so much, Park Jisung.”

He leaned down to place another kiss on your lips. “Not as much as I love you.”

Despite the rain continuing to fall around you, this moment of intimacy meant so much. This was life’s reminder that no matter how heavy the storm may be, you had Park Jisung, and he had you. This knowledge left both of you with a sense of warmth. Nothing could break the bond you two shared.

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[lilmissnatcat24]

what im writing is literally destroying my life but i do it anyway, it's a living

major turn left spoilers below the cut

“I wanted to let you know that you weren’t meant to get caught in the crossfire,” Saren said. His voice was soft, as if he were speaking to someone on their deathbed. 

“That doesn’t offer too much consolation.” 

“You should be…” his voice trailed off as he tutted to himself, as if the very thought of offering his pity was a mild disappointment. 

“It doesn’t matter what I should be doing, to your masters’ logic. We’re all going to get zapped into nothingness, anyway. Why should I have a few more weeks of freedom when I could just die intact today?” 

“That isn’t how you should think,” Saren said, his voice dropping down to a hiss. “You shouldn’t need to think. The Reapers offer solace, a warmth in an otherwise cold and meaningless galaxy. Think of all we can accomplish if we worked with Them together. They’ve promised me asylum from the coming invasion, I’m sure you’d be spared if I asked. Their most loyal servants, we could be. Doesn’t that sound good? The ability to change the fabrics of the galaxy to align with you? How are you not tempted?” 

“And then what?” Shepard spat back. “Their need for organic bodies will run out at some point. Could be a few decades, could be a few months. What will become of us when we’ve all but sold our souls to the great metal devil in the sky?” 

You misunderstand. You never even tried! Think, Delia, think!” 

“Only those close to me get to call me by my real name--” 

“And why is that? Because the name Delia brings about too many sore memories? Your time in a gang back on Earth, an orphan biotic groomed to do the bidding of a madman--” 

“Don’t for a second pretend you know anything about my life--” 

“What if They could take that all away? All of the pain, all of the hurt? What if you were a fresh template, a newborn babe to begin life anew? You could even have your memories washed of this place. They can give that to you, you know. And They will, but you could choose to ascend first. They reward those loyal to Their cause. We could be loyal… together.” 

Shepard squinted up at Saren. The way the light framed around his face gave him the appearance of a halo, the most terrifying angel she’d ever seen. His eyes, violet daggers, shined with a brightness she had never seen before. It was almost as if he was a kid again, brimming with the type of enthusiasm that had yet to be dampened by the world around him. 

“Is that what you told Nihlus Kyrik, before you shot him in the head?” 

The light drained from Saren’s face. “Nihlus was a fool. He was given a chance to ascend. He chose the dishonor of a mortal’s death. A stain on his legacy.” 

“Why do you even care to convert people?” Shepard asked. “You said it yourself, the Reapers can indoctrinate whoever they want. Why are you even making the effort?” 

Saren looked her up and down, his head cocking to the side, as if her presence confused him. He walked forward and grasped her jaw in his geth arm. Shepard willed for herself to not show fear, but her teeth clattered and it was impossible for them to stop. She braced herself for the pain that would follow, the sweet embrace of unconsciousness… 

Saren wiped the blood from her face. His touch was gentle, as if all of a sudden he was afraid he was going to hurt her, like she was made of glass. All Shepard could do was stare at him, her brows furrowed together in puzzlement. She almost felt the urge to lean into his touch, the first friendly set of fingers on her skin in however long she was chained in this room, tortured mercilessly. 

[comandersprings]

On Deaf Ears

Note: I want to thank a friend of mine for helping me come up with the title. They go by x_They_Who_Remain_x on AO3 (you can find this fic there too) and their writing is awesome, please go check them out!

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,148

Summary: Kieran calls out Carmine for having bonded with Ogerpon behind his back. Carmine tries to reason with Kieran and make him see she meant no harm. Looks like neither is getting the other.

• • • • • • •

“You sure are lively for someone with an upset stomach!” Carmine complained as she strode behind her brother, trying to catch up with him.

Kieran had been acting off even before boarding the plane that would take them both back to Unova. He refused to come out and bid farewell to Juliana under a claim of dealing with an upset stomach. Carmine thought nothing of it because she knew her little brother would sometimes eat too many sweets, so it was only natural that his stomach hurt if he did. It wasn’t the first time it happened, either.

However, his behavior during the plane trip made Carmine think that wasn’t the actual reason why Kieran didn’t say goodbye to his new friend. To begin with, when his stomach hurt, Kieran would sort of curl into a ball, yet he was sitting perfectly fine in his seat. He also avoided eye contact with his sister, his eyes always fixated either on the floor or on the window next to him. 

Kieran was awfully silent too. Despite his shy nature, he always had something to talk about when it came to Carmine. After all, she is one of the people he trusts the most, along with their grandparents. Carmine tried to get a conversation going at several points during the flight, but her brother would only respond with monosyllables or—even worse—not respond at all.

So there she was now, trying to find out what was actually wrong with her brother before he entered his room. She had a feeling he wouldn’t leave it for the rest of the day and if they were to talk, it had to be now.

“You can’t keep giving me the silent treatment forever, you know?” Carmine was walking closer to Kieran now, but they were also getting closer to his room.

The boy only looked ahead of him and tried to pretend that his sister wasn’t there, but her constant nagging was making that harder with every passing second. She should know why he was acting that way. To Kieran, while Juliana committed the greatest offense, Carmine was to blame, too. He didn’t want anything to do with his sister at the moment, but it appeared to him that she didn’t get that.

A few seconds later, the siblings finally reached Kieran’s room. The boy took the key out of his pocket and opened the door. 

Seeing how her brother wasn’t going to say anything, Carmine got serious. She folded her arms across her chest. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or what?” the girl insisted. Kieran crossed the threshold and tried to close the door, but Carmine put her foot in the way. “I swear I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s up.”

Kieran clenched his jaw. He wanted to tell her to leave him alone, but he knew that’d be useless. Instead, he just stood aside so his sister could walk into the room. He didn’t bother restraining himself when closing the door, slamming it shut before standing in front of it in a not-so-subtle invitation for Carmine to leave as soon as possible.

“You know I don’t buy the ‘upset stomach’ thing, right?” Carmine rested her hands on her hips. “Although I’ll admit you almost fooled me.”

Kieran exhaled and shook his head. “I’m too tired for this. Just come see me later.”

“No, I won’t wait until later. I’m tired too, but I don’t think I’ll be able to rest until you tell me the truth about—”

“You’re talking about telling the truth?” the boy glared at his sister. “Maybe you should apply that to yourself first.”

“I knew it.” Carmine’s gaze flicked upward. “All this is because I didn’t tell you that Juliana and I met Ogerpon, isn’t it?”

“It’s not just because of that.” Kieran approached Carmine with an almost defying stance. “You knew Juliana wanted to keep Ogerpon to herself and you let it happen. I’d even say you made sure it happened,” Kieran accused while pointing a finger at his sister.

“Hey, stop right there!” Carmine raised her hands. “We were just helping Ogerpon retrieve all of her masks. It’s not my fault she and Juliana ended up bonding.”

“Don’t talk as if you didn’t bond with Ogerpon, too!” the boy turned around to hide the way his chin trembled. “You excluded me from that experience despite knowing full well how much I always wanted to befriend her.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” Carmine leaned back. “I didn’t know things would turn out like that, so don’t blame me for any of it.” 

Kieran faced his sister again. This time, his eyes were glossy. “But you could have done something to stop it.”

“Stop what?” the girl spread out her hands. “What did you want me to do, handcuff Juliana to a radiator so she didn’t catch Ogerpon?”

“Don’t try to be funny!” her brother clenched his hands. “You clearly have no idea how hurt I am by all this.”

“And you have no idea how hurt I am from seeing you act this way,” Carmine retorted. She crossed her arms once again. “Trust me, I do understand your frustration, but things don’t always go the way we want them to. You must accept that.”

Kieran’s whole body tensed up as he heard her words, but Carmine didn’t take notice of that until she was done talking. She also noticed the way he stared at her: it was a hard, cold glare. Carmine had never seen that look in her brother’s eyes and she took a step backward without realizing.

“So what you’re telling me is to just deal with it, right?” the boy questioned, his tone just as stony as the look in his eyes. “If that’s what you think I should do, then… Leave.”

Carmine couldn’t believe she was in such a situation. She was the one clenching her hands now. “Do you realize how irrational you’re being now? This is not like y—”

“Leave. Now.” Kieran cut her off as he pointed at the door with a sharp movement.

His sister raised her hands and went silent. She walked past him and shot him one last, worried glance before opening the door. Carmine intended to close it herself, but she suddenly felt Kieran yank on the doorknob from the other side and slam the door shut so harshly that the glass in a nearby window trembled. 

The girl still stood in front of the door as the bang of it being closed echoed on her mind. Kieran was already too deep into his anger and disappointment. It was clear he wasn’t open to listening to others, but she wasn’t going to abandon her brother. Getting through him would be difficult, but Carmine would find a way. Damn right she would find a way. She wasn’t the older sister for nothing.

[neonmoonn]

You were my first everything. You were my first real everything. So I don’t know any better. But I’m not your first. I’m not your first anything.

I couldn’t do to you any of the things you have done to me because you truly meant something to me. I had a donor and I could have said “fuck you” and continued trying for a baby right after our break up, but I couldn’t. I didn’t even want to break up in the first place. And I truly saw you being that person for me. The person who I spend the rest of my life with. The person I marry. The person I have kids with. I couldn’t try for a baby because you weren’t there. But wow, was I such a fool to think you’d feel the same for me.

No, you have never felt the same for me. It’s why you so easily have removed me from your life and it’s why you and I both know you can go the rest of your life without me. I wasn’t the one for you. I was never going to make you happy. If I truly meant something to you, we would be together right now preparing for a baby. But no. You couldn’t even stomach the thought of us being together again.

I asked you to just tell me we’d never be together again so I could just hear it from you. But it doesn’t matter. I know we aren’t going to be together again. I can’t see at any point where that would actually happen again. You won’t even see me. You’ve talked to me this entire time like I’m such an inconvenience. And I keep trying. Because I truly love you. Like a true, deep genuine love. And the reason we didn’t work out is because of your exs. You chose your exs over a future with me. And I’m not saying choose in a way where it’s me or them. But when it came down to it, them being in your life was better than me. Making them happy and content was better than fixing anything with me. Like why did we even date at the beginning? Why even get your divorce when she meant more to you than me? Why bring me back to Arizona when she meant more to you than me? Why trouble yourself with years of this when you knew it was never going to be me?

Yeah, I’m hurt. Man I’m so fucking hurt. Everyday I’m hurt. I hate living in this town. I’m afraid to do anything because I’m afraid to run into any of you guys. I’m afraid to run into you knowing you don’t want to see me. And yet, I still miss you. I still love you. And I don’t know what that says about me. Maybe I’m just stupid. Maybe I’ve lost my mind.

It hurts a lot to have these feelings for someone who couldn’t give a shit about me. But I would have been there. I would have taken care of you. You wouldn’t have to be alone in this because I’d be right by your side. I’m sorry that you don’t want that though. I’m sorry it’s now such a horrible thought to think about being with me again.

You already made it clear I’m not the one for you. Which means that there is someone out there for me. Someone who will love me and take care of my heart. Someone who will want to see me and laugh with me. Someone who will want to be my wife and have kids with me. Someone who won’t run or attack when things get hard. Someone who will want to go through the bad because they wouldn’t want to be doing it with anyone else. You didn’t want to be that someone even though I so badly wanted you to be. Love isn’t some insanely difficult thing, it’s two people choosing each other because life is hard. It’s too people choosing each other because they made each other feel loved. It’s two people choosing each other. I wanted you in every possible way a person can want someone. I wanted you for almost eight years of my life. My entire twenties has been spent with you. I have loved you with everything I have, good bad and ugly. I hate that I wasn’t worth it to you. I hate that you didn’t feel the same for me.