#and yet she's still the one who reaches out to ludger and offers comfort to him.....

[aroacettorney]

aup manhwa makes me realise that casey fully absorbed all of ludgers trauma and emotional pains during the delica arc, which essentially means she was not only carrying her own pains but also his pains as well, thus she might as well be the one who was hurt the most as the result of the delica incident. like fuckin ouch.

[secretagentfan]

Blood and Water

Chapter 6 of Lure of the Damned

Fandom: Tales of Xillia 2

Zombie AU!

Pairing: Jude/Ludger

On archive! 

New chapter is up!! Some FATHER DAUGHTER CHATS this chapter. 

     The house at the center of the orchard was much, much larger in person. Ludger half-expected to see butlers and maids dashing through the massive halls, carrying silver trays.

     It was also shockingly maintained. Someone had been keeping the place clean, and meticulously at that. The floors still shined, and the air felt light, with none of the dust and questionable smells Ludger had come to expect. It was untouched by the apocalypse.

     Jude and Ludger hesitated at the door, unsure if they should remove their footwear, but the man, woman, and Elle all strode forward confidently, leaving small dirty footprints in their wake. The woman, Muzet, was not wearing shoes at all.

     The intimidating man was carrying the corpse of the husband in a modified bridal carry, his bloody face pressed against his strong chest. Muzet was holding Isla’s corpse - swung over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

     “What are you going to do with them?” Jude asked.

     Muzet twisted her head to look behind her. Her long hair tangled with Isla’s blood-covered arm, and Jude looked away.

     “With the bodies? We’re going to study them. We have doctors of our own, you know.”

     “You’re studying the infected here?”

     “Muzet, that’s enough. We have not questioned them yet.”

     The man’s voice seemed to echo even though he was speaking neutrally, at a reasonable volume.

     “Questioned?” Ludger asked. “Did we do something wrong?”

     The man’s gaze was cutting. Ludger felt like a bug, pinned to a board; it was only a matter of time before this man got bored and started removing his legs for fun.

     As if hearing his thoughts, the man’s eyebrows raised, just slightly.

     “I have no desire to rob you of your personal liberty. If you would like to go, then you may leave, but if you choose to stay and answer questions, I will allow you and your family to stay in one of the guest rooms for the night. I trust this is a worthy exchange?”

     “We have plumbing,” Muzet spoke up. “It’s one of the few places in the world where you can get a decent shower. Trust me, we’ll make it worth your while.”

     “Why are you being nice to us?” Jude asked. The suspicion was clear in his voice.

     “Erston.”

     Jiao appeared abruptly from underneath the massive staircase. The intimidating man, Erston, Ludger assumed, didn’t look toward him but he spoke anyway. “The front gate is secured.”

     “Ah, Jiao. Perfect timing. Would you get Presa to collect this woman?”

     “Certainly.”

     Muzet tilted her head. “Why Presa?”

     “She is deceased now, but there is no reason to abuse her body by carrying her in such an undignified way,” Erston said. “She deserves to be moved with respect.”

     “Oh dear, I’d hate to be disrespectful,” Muzet simpered. “But I don’t think she minds. I believe once the soul leaves the body, the flesh is just a vessel. Is there really a point to respecting a skeleton’s house?”

     “Yes.”

     Jude exhaled, looking toward the door. He seemed to be reaching his tipping point. Ludger was getting there as well, ready to take the man up on his offer to let them go. No shower was worth this, especially when there were others outside in much worse situations.

     It was then when he noticed Wingul standing by the door. He was hidden in the shadow, but undoubtedly monitoring them both. A chill ran down Ludger’s spine.

     No matter what this Erston man said, there was no guarantee his word could be trusted. There was no promise that Wingul wouldn’t strike them down the moment they went for the door.

     Ludger nudged Jude with his shoulder, motioning to Wingul with his eyes, as Erston and Muzet debated what it meant to desecrate a human corpse. The muscles in Jude’s jaw tightened, and he nodded.

     “We’ll stay.”

     “What?” Elle turned around. “Really Jude? You want to stay with these guys?”

     “Just for a little while Elle. We’ll see what they have to say.”

     The man nodded, seeming pleased with the answer. “Very well then—”

     Agria and Presa were returning down the stairs. Presa already had her arms out for Isla, who Muzet reluctantly handed over. Agria was fidgeting slightly as she looked demurely at Erston from under her eyelashes. Elle looked at Ludger as if to say ‘can you believe this?’ He shrugged.

     “Agria will show you to your rooms. We can reconvene for dinner, after you have cleaned up.”

     “What about the bodies?” Jude asked. “What are you going to do with them?”

     “That will be discussed at dinner.”

     Ludger sighed, but didn’t have it in him to argue. Jude did, but seemed to be staying mum for Ludger’s sake.

     “Lots of secrets in this house…” Elle mumbled. Ludger nodded.

     “Ludger, do you need a hand?” Jude whispered, offering his shoulder, and Ludger smiled, punching it once.

     “I’m alright for now Jude, thanks.”

     The truth was, Ludger had definitely undone the healing that had happened with all his pipe swinging, but it was nothing a little shower wouldn’t fix. Probably.

     Jude’s eyes narrowed, just slightly, as they were shown to their room.

     Agria’s voice lacked the previous night’s punch. She seemed to be going through the motions, occasionally glancing over her shoulder to see if she was being watched. There were bags under her eyes. Ludger wondered when the last time she slept was.

     “You can sleep here. This is the only room available, so get used to sharing. There’s only one bathroom too.”

     Jude raised an eyebrow. “A mansion this big and we have to share a room? What’s in the other rooms?”

     Agria made a face like Jude had just eaten something gross off the floor. “We have patients, loser.”

     “…What?”

     “Wow, you guys really don’t know anything. Figure it out-- wander around, see what happens,” Agria said, tossing her hair behind her. A devious light flashed in her empty eyes as she turned to leave.

     “Oh, and by the way, I gave you the room without hot water. That’s for earlier. Enjoy the chills, weaklings!”

     And then she was off, laughing merrily and leaving Jude and Ludger to stare at her back.

     “You don’t think this place is serving as a hospital of some kind, do you?” Jude asked.

     Ludger shrugged. “Who can say?”

     “I wanted hot water…” Elle mumbled. “What is wrong with her?”

     Ludger ruffled her hair. “It’ll still be better than a river.”

     “Everything’s better than a river, that doesn’t make it good.”

     Jude chuckled. “Why don’t you go first, Elle. You can test it out for us, and if it’s too cold—”

     “I’m not showering first. You two are gross and bloody and I don’t want to sit with you until you clean off. Jude first!”

     Elle walked into the bedroom, kicked off her shoes, and hopped onto the canopy bed like she did such things all the time.

     Jude blinked, staring at her, and Ludger grinned, sitting next to Elle on the bed.

     “You’re really sure…?” Jude asked.

     “You deserve it, you had a hard day!” Elle said.

     For a moment, the image of Jude’s face after Muzet fired her gun flashed in the back of Ludger’s head. His voice had been so desperate, his usually bright eyes dark and hopeless.

     The blood spatter had dried on his face, shirt and arms. A hard day—that was the tip of the iceberg, lately.

     “Go on, Jude,” Ludger encouraged. “Take as long as you want.”

     Jude seemed to melt at their words. The hesitant smile that spread across his face was familiar, real. Ludger felt himself relax at the sight of it.

     “Well, alright then. Thank you both.”

     He went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, and it wasn’t long before the sounds of the shower echoed through the bedroom, accompanied by Jude’s quiet hum.

     Ludger sat on the bed with Elle, looking up at the ceiling. It had been so long since he’d heard the sounds of working plumbing and sat on a bed that wasn’t covered in dust; even longer since it was a bed that had been given to him, not just taken. He sighed, long and content.

     This place was miraculous, but its mere existence was nerve-wracking. What on earth would they be expected to give in exchange for this level of comfort? What “questions” could be so important?

     “He sounds like Julius,” Elle said, nudging Ludger’s leg with her own. Her bare feet hung off the bed, and she was swinging them lightly. God, Ludger was so lucky to have her.

     “Jude?”

     “Yeah, he’s humming. Julius would always—”

     A gunshot, silence, silence, silence—Ludger shut his eyes. “I know, Elle.”

     Elle was quiet for a long moment, before Ludger felt a hand on his arm, just under his messy bandages.

     “Did doctor Jude say you were gonna be okay?”

     For a moment the air had been knocked out of him, Elle’s eyes were so calm, so normal, like she had asked him what a word meant or shared some fleeting observation. At Ludger’s silence she tightened her grip on his arm. He held back a wince.

     “He’s been looking at you funny all day. I want to know the truth.”

     A thousand different ways to lie appeared in his head, soothing and approachable. He wouldn’t have to do this, he could pretend and forget—and with enough luck, Elle would never have to know.

     But Elle had asked for the truth, and Ludger had never been lucky.

     He took her hand in his own, clearly not the answer she wanted, but to her credit she didn’t say a word, even as her lower lip started trembling.

     “I can’t remember. I didn’t see. Jude did everything he could, but these wounds on my arm,” he gestured to the bandage, “make it hard for him to see too. We just have to wait for something to happen, or not. So, for now, Elle, we don’t know.”

     Elle’s face was blank, her eyebrows slowly drawing together in confusion. Ludger waited. At times like this, he wanted to reach out and hold her more than anything in the world, but this wasn’t about what he wanted. Elle needed space to think. She needed time to process.

     The confusion gave way to horror, despair. Ludger bit his tongue to keep from trying to lie it away. She’d accept a lie now—she was still young enough. But no.

     He had tried to shield her from the world, tried to keep so many horrible things hidden from her, but that— oh, that, had only led to her calling him “Ludger”. That had only pushed her away and made her feel that she had to get stronger to support him—that she had to prove herself to be his equal.

     It had only hurt them both.

     Ludger could soften the blow as best he could, but he couldn’t keep the blow from her completely. He wouldn’t leave her with the regrets Julius left him with. He wouldn’t leave her asking why.

     Elle had to know what was happening; she deserved to know the truth, difficult or not.

     Ludger forced himself to stay calm and listen. After a moment, she spoke.

     “I don’t want this. I don’t want this at all.”

     “Elle…” Ludger swallowed over the lump in his throat. His resolve crumbled and he reached out and pulled his daughter into his lap, her arms wrapping around him as easily as they did when she was so small. He pressed his lips to her hair, searching for any words to heal this, to take this burden away from her.

     Dammit, he really hadn’t changed at all, had he? There was nothing. Nothing, except…

     “You know what Jude said when I was trying to figure out what to do?”

     Elle didn’t answer, but her grip had tightened, so he knew she was listening.

     “He said that he wasn’t giving up on me, so I shouldn’t give up either,” Ludger said. “And it made me think, that even though this…situation is scary— we don’t have to give up. We can just keep doing what we’ve been doing and try the best we can, like we always have.”

     Elle was silent.

     Ludger had been terrified of fatherhood when Lara came to him with the positive test, one foot in the hospital, the other in the apocalypse. He had been terrified that he wouldn’t know what to do, that he’d be lost, and that the world would fall apart before he gained any skills in parenting.

     Ludger had been correct, Elle was nothing like he expected, the world had gone to hell and worse. He was completely helpless, utterly unprepared for this new way of life, and yet there was absolutely nothing in the world that felt more natural than trying to make Elle smile.

     “I’m not giving up, Elle. I’m going to do everything I can to survive, and I can’t promise you forever. I don’t know what’s going to happen, and that’s scary—but I am going to make sure you are taken care of.”

     The front of Ludger’s shirt was wet. He gently pulled Elle’s face out from his chest, and wiped her eyes, waiting, listening.

     “I won’t give up,” she mumbled, after a long moment. Her voice was heavy with tears, but growing in confidence. “I won’t give up either. I promise.”

     Ludger linked their pinkies together. “I promise too. No giving up.”

     The shower stopped. Somewhere in the bathroom, Jude sneezed and it echoed a bit. Elle pulled out of Ludger’s hold and wiped her face on one of the blankets. Ludger rubbed the back of his neck as the door opened, filling the room with the fresh clean smell of shampoo.

     Jude was dressed in a fresh t-shirt and pajama pants, all black. He had a small white towel around his neck. His bangs were surprisingly long, almost hanging in front of his eyes in a relaxed shaggy look, as opposed to the spikes Ludger had grown used to.

     “Sorry I took so long, the water was nicer than I expected, and it looks like there’s a change of clothes laid out for all of us. I don’t know how they got our sizes so quickly…” Jude trailed off, seeing Elle’s face. “Is everything alright?”

     “I’m fine!” Elle blurted, all but shoving Ludger off the bed. “It’s Ludger’s turn now!”

     “Okay, okay…” Ludger acquiesced. Really, he wanted to stay, make sure she was okay, answer any questions she had and—ugh. Shower. Fine. He nudged Jude as he passed him. “She knows everything now. If you don’t mind, could you keep an eye on her? Answer questions?”

     Understanding passed across Jude’s face, softening his features, as he looked at the now-sulking girl on the bed. “Of course.”

     “Thank you, Jude.”

     The shower fit the rest of the house, impossibly clean and decadent. There was an all-black set of pajamas laid out for him as well, alongside a long black shirt that Ludger assumed Erston had intended for Elle to wear as a dress. Shampoo, conditioner, towels… Jude’s medical bag sat open on the counter beside a roll of gauze.

     A small note had been set next to the gauze, with a white pill.

     The handwriting was cute, surprisingly neat.

     Ludger-

     This is a painkiller. Please take it.

     Clean your wounds and use the full roll of gauze.  

     There was more text underneath it, but Jude had crossed it out, and replaced it with one line:

     Your health is important.

     -Jude  

     This guy…Almost bitten and still thinking about Ludger.

     He held the small note in his hands for a second, fighting back the urge to laugh that Jude had…signed it, of all things, but mainly he just felt lighter. The pressure on his shoulders had subtly lifted, like water evaporating from a wide, clear lake on a summer morning.

     That is, until he noticed his reflection in the mirror. He looked like shit, plain and simple. Paler than usual, his undershirt and hands had dried copper-red, sweat and Elle’s tears leaving dark splotches on his chest. With a sigh, he undressed, examining the bruising on his chest and stomach.

     It would just have to heal, like everything else.

     Popping the pill in his mouth, he turned on the shower. He dodged the freezing spray, peeling the old bandages away from his scabbing skin and tossing them into the overly decorated trashcan.

     Ludger once again, felt drastically unprepared for whatever he was going to have to pay for this—but at least he would be facing it clean. He angled himself, careful to keep the water from his wounds for the moment.

     Medicine was hard to come by, especially painkillers. Showers near impossible. To have both was unheard of.

     Even cold, the water was everything Ludger had dreamed about for months. It felt like peace.

     If he missed one thing the most, since the collapse of the world, it was feeling clean. For ten years now it had felt like everyone and everything had been covered in a fine layer of grime, dirt, and blood. To be able to scrub and wash that away? It was a fucking holiday.

     He shut his eyes, face in the spray, and tried not to think. It became easier, when he turned, and started cleaning the blood and dirt from his wounds. He bit his tongue, knowing sound carried, and leaned against the wall for support.

     The shower ran red, and Ludger shut his eyes from that too, breathing in nothing but the clean mint smell of the shampoo.

     It was still the best he’d felt all week.