#and yet it's repulsively fascinating that this book was so popular back then AND still gets positive reviews now

[somnesca]

Look, the writing still isn't good, but I feel less homicidal reading Marjorie Lindon's POV than Sydney's. I really think Marsh could have cut out the whole Sydney part, gone right from Holt to Marjorie, and then we would be left curious and suspicious when Sydney seems to know more than he's letting on. The Beetle retains their mystique, we're rooting for Marjorie the Girlboss now, and we have a dubious ally who may complicate matters but we don't know why.

[mangamushi]

Thoughts on Panorama of Hell

 (HINO Hideshi, 1 volume, 1984)

(warning for spoilers and disturbing topics)

In Panorama from Hell, a painter obsessed with depicting hell takes the reader on a journey to discover his life. His work, his neighborhood, his family members and family history are presented to paint a bleak and violent picture of hell on earth.

Hideshi Hino is a very big name of horror manga. Panorama of Hell is one of Hino’s most famous and acclaimed manga, and represents in many ways the quintessence of his style. When he draw Panorama, he thought it would possibly be his last horror manga (he didnt actually stop after that, though).

It displays all his favorite themes and even blatantly recycles ideas from his previous works. It is therefore is a very good entry point for anyone interested in Hino’s stuff. One the other hand, it feels a bit redundant when you are already familiar with his work, especially if you have read Lullaby from Hell, as both manga are very similar. 

As the title suggests, Panorama takes place in a hellish setting, described in great details by the main character.  He is a painter who uses his own blood to paint, and the world he lives is horrible in many ways: from his window he sees an execution platform operating non-stop, a stream full off trash and corpses runs next to his house, he lives in the smell of burning bodies because of the next-door crematorium... 

These first few chapters are so insistent on being as abhorrent as possible that I found it hard to take seriously. In the beginning it felt so exaggerated and lacking any subtlety  that it almost felt a bit comical at times, like the author was just stacking awful things on more awful things for shock value.

“his daily routine”

And it keeps escalating from there. Next, his family is introduced: cruel children with a dark sense of curiosity, a beautiful wife who seems straight out of a classic japanese horror tale (pale skin and long black hair, wearing traditional clothes...), until we go back in time to witness the story of his grand-parents and parents. 

It gradually becomes more interesting, especially the part about his family which shows deeply ingrained violence and insanity getting passed down from a generation to the next. It culminates when historical events (WWII and its aftermath, the atomic bombings) are shown, intertwining with the painter’s personal story.

Different kinds of hells complete each other (ambient with initial setting and scenery of desolation, a more personal hell with the intra-familial violence, and the wider-scale historical hell of war).

Overall, I find Hino less imaginative than  fellow “horror masters” Junji ito and Kazuo Umezu. Those two can come up with the craziest ideas, whereas Hino’s scenarios and imagery are somewhat more expected/conventional for horror. 

But perhaps the most interesting part of Panorama is the way it blurs the borders between reality and fiction. First of all, the main character, an artist who specializes in depicting horror, acts as a stand-in for Hino himself. This is fairly common in his work, his other manga Lullaby from hell even has an extremely similar character overtly present himself as Hino: 

The artist from Panorama is making his last, best painting, just like Hino who was thinking of ending his mangaka career with his strongest work.  Both the painting and the manga share the same title, “Panorama of Hell”. 

 The similarities between Hino and his main character don’t end here, and many elements of the story are actually taken from Hino’s own life: his grandfather really was a yakuza, his brother went into a coma, his father was pig farmer with a tattoo on his back...

Just like the painter, Hino grew up in the context of the direct aftermath of WWII. Both the character and the author were born in Japanese-occupied China, and were nearly killed when their family fled back to Mainland-Japan after the country’s loss. He takes inspiration from his own life and in the traumatizing things he witnessed and lived through to draw his manga. It is hard to discern what is fiction or not in the painter’s story. Many elements are obviously fantastical and folklore-ish, like the beheaded ghosts visiting the wife’s bar (this chapter feel like a tone-shift, it is much more whimsical, with the corpses happily eating their own body parts), yet the references to real historic events like the war and Hiroshima bombing still links Panorama of Hell to reality, to our world. 

The painter’s insanity makes him an unreliable narrator. Indeed, at the end of the story, the current members of the painter’s family (his wife, his daughter and son, his brother...) are revealed to have been fake all along : the wife and children are a mannequin and puppets, the brother is a pig’s corpse...

Moreover, by having the painter address the reader directly (”let me show you...”) Hino breaks the fourth wall that should separate the world of fiction from reality.

 This culminates at the very end of the book, where the painter throws an axe at the reader to kill them.

Hino’s art style is really simple and easily recognizable. The way he draws body horror and wounds isn’t very realistic, which makes the gore parts less shocking. His character’s simple, soft, deformed appearance reminds me of modeling clay or perhaps melting plastic toys.

I am even tempted to describe his style as cute. The big eyes, round features, and the way his characters are often miserable and mistreated by others...it is cute in a pitiful way.

Hino draws lots of babies, children, and baby animals which adds to both the cuteness and the horror. It also helps that I share Hino’s fondness for insects, worms and other similar crawling creatures...

There are figures based on his works that are just too cute! 

Hino often puts animals in his stories and even merges animals and humans. He writes stories where people transform into animals (Bug Boy) or give birth to inhuman creatures ( Unusual Fetus -My Baby ). Human bodies are more often than not hosts to parasites and maggots (Mermaid in a manhole...).

In Panorama of Hell, humans are executed one after the other like livestock in a slaughterhouse, and their bodies get dumped in a stream where they mix with other dead animals. Beheaded bodies try to put animal heads on to feel complete again, and the painter’s daughter is obsessed with animal corpses that she collects and dissects.

He doesn’t use any screen tones, nor does he use a lot of crosshatching as a mean to create different shades of grey, so the jet black ink creates a stark contrast against  the white of the paper. Some pages are beautiful and esthetically pleasing in spite of the repulsive contents. Especially towards the end of the book, which depict strange surrealist imagery as the world is falling apart.

His frequent use of pitch black silhouettes reminds me of shadow play theater  (which originates from China where Hino was born), as well as of Kamishibai (street theater using paper, which was very popular in post-war Japan). 

Kamishibai originates from buddhist temples and was often used to spread buddhist teachings.

Hino makes uses of buddhist concepts and imagery in his depiction of hell. Panorama of Hell could be compared to the Hell Scroll, a famous scroll describing the Chinese Buddhist conception of hell with text and pictures. 

↑ The “Blood Lake” and “Needle Moutain” in this panel refers to two of the different kinds of hells depicted in the Hell Scroll. The blood lake is exclusively for women.

Young women are only thing that are drawn in a conventionaly beautiful way.  However, finding beauty and fascination in the most horrendous things is a central point of Hino’s body of work. His characters are either artists or collectors obsessed with what fits their strange idea of beauty (cf. Flower of Flesh and Blood, where a woman’s dismemberment is an act of creation and a research of ideal beauty in the perpetrator’s eyes).

The contrast between the solid black shadows and the untouched white of the paper can give the impression that a strong, blinding light is hitting the world. The violent light emitted from an explosion, for example. Which is fitting, giving the importance of the Hiroshima atomic bomb in the story and its repercussions that still dawn on the characters years later. It’s like the characters are constantly bathed in the harsh light of the bombings. 

The Hiroshima bomb is called a “gigantic emperor from hell”, it rules over the character’s lives, even years after it was dropped. As a child, the painters created a replica of the mushroom cloud that he worships like a god.

Panorama of Hell is a very dark and pessimistic work, displaying a world where there is no hope and nothing is spared (not even the reader, who receives the painter’s axe!). In fact, the main character was already doomed before he was even born. Indeed, he is the child of the Hiroshima bomb itself: his mother got pregnant as she was hit by a beam from the explosion. 

[takerfoxx]

Today’s fav of the day is...

GOLLUM

We all have certain “types” when it comes to our favorite characters, and quite often that preference can be traced back to a sort of patient zero character we got very attached to as children.

For me, one of the biggies is Gollum.

I loved Tolkien growing up. Still do, but back then I was obsessed. Riddles in the Dark was my favorite chapter of the Hobbit, and it really struck me how Tolkien took the time to build up this very strange, very repulsive, and yet very fascinating creature that Bilbo randomly stumbled upon while lost under a mountain as something that’s dangerous, creepy, and yet oddly sympathetic. Bilbo even ends up sparing him out of pity, despite Gollum having tried to kill him. I honestly felt bad for the creature, and wanted to know what happened to him.

When I finally got my hands on Lord of the Rings in...I don’t know, fifth, sixth grade or something, I admit that I opened up the index at the back of the books and just read all of the Gollum scenes before I read anything else, and the story never lets up from that weird mix of vile and sympathetic, someone whose state is almost entirely his own fault, and that just made it worse. He is presented as a barely controlled danger the whole way, but it never stops giving the reader reasons to feel sorry for this miserable, broken, ring-addicted creature. His dual mind is honestly a thing to behold, and he so desperately wanted the Ring back, and we know as an audience that he could not be allowed to have it, and that just made things worse. Perhaps some kind of redemption is possible, perhaps he will find peace, perhaps that glimmer of good within him will eventually triumph.

Sadly, that did not happen, and I was heartbroken at his death. However, I still came to love the rest of the books and the story as a whole.

And then the movies came out.

Had I had this blog back in the early 2000′s, it would be filled with nothing but LotR content. Those movies consumed my life for three years straight. My family and I saw each one multiple times in theaters, loaded up on merchandise, got the extended editions when they came out, and just went hard on the Tolkien. And to my delight, the filmmakers went above and beyond to bring Gollum to life. Andy Serkis’s performance was mesmerizing, from his odd speech patterns, highlighted competing personalities, and the motion-capture technology that was literally groundbreaking, making my boy easily one of the most popular parts of an incredibly popular franchise. Even those horribly bloated Hobbit movies knocked Gollum’s one scene out of the park. This sort of character could have so easily gone wrong, but he was done so right, and it certainly made me happy.

So, let’s give it up for the guy responsible for my love of pitiful, morally ambiguous characters that make us root for them having a happy ending, even if it’s questionable whether or not they deserve it.

My precious...Gollum!

[hey-hey-chan]

Supernatural!Hyunjin PT.2

Heyyyy... so i know I wasn’t going to do this... BUT I HIT 300 FOLLOWERS TODAY AND 3 IS MY FAV NUMBER SOOO! :) I couldn’t wait for 333 to drop this one :)

At first I was going to write about Jisung or Changbin cuz they’re the most popular, but I felt kinda bad cuz Hyunjin never ended up with y/n..

I hope you enjoy and this may be a lil short cuz I didn’t plan to write this and wanted to just give y’all a lil something :D

BTW this was worse than expected, i’m so sorry ; . ;

I laid in bed that night, contemplating what the wand meant and what this all meant for me and y/n. I was now in my pjs, knowing I was not going to get a blink of shuteye tonight from the active state I was just in. 

My heart was still pounding, from the wand stuff too. 

I kept thinking about how y/n looked at me and how she kept feeling me up while she thought I had broken bones. I groaned mentally. Ugh I need to stop, this is just bad. 

I shook my head, clearing my mind of weird thoughts and focusing in on the powers of the wand. It seemed to do nothing besides throw us back in the air, though it did more damage to me than y/n; she held onto the wand while I had to let go. And at that thought, I wondered if the wand actually affected her more than me. 

The next day, I was unsure what this whole disaster meant for me and y/n. I shook my head. Shut up, Hyunjin, she hates you, she thinks you’re lazy and just a pretty boy. Well, she’s not wrong- 

“Ugh!” I groaned, slamming my fist into my locker. 

“God, what’s wrong with you today? Actually everyday but today more than usual.” My friend, Seungmin had said. The shapeshifter was leaning against the wall, reading a book as usual. I sighed. 

“Nothing. Just not a lot of sleep.” Seungmin raised a brow, momentarily looking away from his book.

“Oh really? Just lack of sleep?” I nodded, and swallowed. I mean I wasn’t lying, technically. “So it’s nothing about y/n, just to be sure?” I immediately shushed him and looked around the halls for vampires or werewolves who had heightened hearing, thankfully the hall was too loud to hear anything. 

“What are you even talking about? I don’t like her pssh no!” I snorted, walking away quickly form Seungmin. He just trailed after me, not affected by my pace at all. 

“Yeah ok, I know a crush when I see one.” My mood grew dimmer when I realized what he meant. He had recently gotten himself a girlfriend, and a valkyrie at that. I can’t believe the shy nerd got himself a girlfriend before me. Me of all people. I sighed. This is why y/n doesn’t like me. 

“Whatever.” I mumbled, not in the mood to play games anymore. “She hates me.” I added. He sighed and shook his head.

“Hey now, anything could happen. I mean, one day girls can hate you, and then suddenly they like you. It’s quite fascinating at that.” 

Suddenly, as Seungmin said those words, I heard someone yell my name in a high pitched voice. 

“HYUNJIN OPPA!!!”

I heard... wait, is that y/n’s voice? I turned to look behind me, but before I could, I felt someone leap onto my back. “KYA!” I flinched at the sudden attack, but held the girl steadily in my arms. I sent a look of confusion and surprise at Seungmin while he was staring at me bug-eyed. Gosh, that guy can give advice one moment and then back out when it’s actually happening.

“Um, y/n? What are you doing?” I noticed all the stares we were getting in the hall and tried to hide what was happening. I gently set her on the ground and turned around to face her. 

But, once I saw her, she looked different. Her eyes looked somewhat glazed over, but still the same. It looked like she was set on me, and only me. Which made me somewhat happy, but a little scared. 

“Oppa, I seriously love you so much, I’m so sorry I’ve always been mean to you. I was wrong.” She ran into my arms and wrapped her arms around my torso which made me blush. 

I looked over to Seungmin, trying to give him signs of help, but he just looked as confused as I did. 

I let out a nervous laugh and slowly pulled away, trying to take in whatever phase she was in right now. I knew things would change since yesterday, but not by this much. 

“Um, y/n, what’s wrong and what’s up with this oppa and hugging stuff?” I questioned. She tilted her head like a child and laughed, a little too girly for my liking, and too creepy. 

“Huh? Don’t all guys like that? I know you do, you always have girls throwing themselves at you, and I’m so glad I finally realize that I love you too.” She smiled, but it didn’t feel genuine. I was honestly so lost at this point yet I felt my heart beating uncontrollably. 

How could this happen? Just yesterday she was acting all like she hated me and wanted me to leave. Now? She was acting like I was a prince or something. What happened to the y/n I knew who jumped away when I teased her and then came back to snap at me? What? 

Then, it hit me. 

“The wand.” I shook my head, angry at myself that I actually thought she was confessing to me. She looked confused and that’s when I got even angrier.

“What wand? The wand made me feel the best-” At those words, I took her hand and dragged her towards-not the office-but someone I knew who could help us. 

I pulled her to the head of spells and potions, Professor Jinyoung, the professor I idolized, but this was a serious matter. And there was no way I was going to tell the principal about how we broke curfew to investigate something that could’ve potentially been much more dangerous. 

I knocked on his office doors, since he didn’t have classes the rest of the day.

“Yes? Come in.” He said. I gulped and gained my courage before marching into his office with a girl who was clinging to my arm, and who, yesterday, was repulsed at touching me. 

“Um, Professor, I have a problem.” He looked up from his papers and saw y/n clinging on me, looking at me with googly eyes and trying to intertwine our fingers. I gently pried her fingers off and tried to avoid Prof. Jinyoung’s dropped jaw and wide eyes.

“Is that y/n? Meaning y/n who hates you?!” He whisper-shouted. I sighed.

“Does everyone know that? And yes! Help me please!” I said at the same volume. He sighed, rubbing his face. 

“Shut the door.” I did as he told.

“Hyunjin oppa, what is the scary professor going to do to me? I’m scared.” She whined, hiding her face in my chest. I couldn’t help but blush at the contact. Professor Jinyoung raised a brow but didn’t say anything at my red cheeks.

“Please tell me you haven’t gotten yourself caught up in a strong love spell.” He closed his eyes, probably praying. I smiled sheepishly and shrugged. He groaned.

“Ok, I know it looks bad but..” I sighed. “I can’t-”

“Yes you can and you must tell me so I can help you.” He crossed his arms, looking as intimidating as ever. I sighed.

“Ok, don’t get mad, but just one day, we kept hearing whispers, calling to us, the both of us. And one day a building just popped up at of nowhere and we found this found when we were investigating-”

“You guys disobeyed curfew? And went hunting for something you didn’t know-”

“I said it looks bad but the voice just kept calling and I needed to find it, we both did. And when we grabbed the wand, the power sent the both of us flying, but y/n got the heavier end of it.” I pointed to her. “And now this.” She was staring at me dreamily that I could almost laugh at her, but I felt bad that she was dealing with this. 

And she would kill me when she snapped out of it. 

“Ok, well, I need to go find some way to reverse the spell.” I nodded, but then realized his words.

“Wait, you don’t know how to reverse it!?” I almost shouted then calmed myself. He sighed and scratched his beard. 

“Hyunjin, this is some strong magic. Old magic is powerful and I’m not 100% sure this is only clean magic, there might be some dark in it. I think I know a spell to reverse it, but it needs to be taken with certain herbs to bring out the powers of the spell.” He stood up. 

“And to do this as fast as I can, I need to get going now. Please, you both just go home, love spells can make people crazy and I don’t want this to get out.” He grabbed his jacket while I sat, confused on what to do with y/n, who used to hate me and now was latched onto my shoulder.

“I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Y/n is one of my favorite students and it makes me sad to see her like this.” He shut the door, leaving me in shock and despair having to deal with this all day long.

Not that I hated her company, but the fact that she acted like she loved me when I knew she really didn’t. But I did. 

“Is he gone, oppa? The big scary guy?” I sighed. 

“Yes, he’s gone. Now let’s go back to my dorm.” I said, trying to move with her strength pinning me down. 

“Ok, I want to cuddle with you. You’ve always looked so cuddleable.” I gulped. Suddenly I realized I was bringing a girl to my dorms, and I felt nervous. 

“No cuddling, just talking. And watching movies, ok?” I stated to her, but more like for me. She pouted. 

For what seemed like forever, we finally made it to my dorm. I looked around and saw that my roommate, Mark, a warlock like me, wasn’t in the room. I sighed in relief. I had to call him though and make sure he didn’t come home and see the state y/n was in. 

“Hey what’s up?” Mark answered. I sighed, wondering how I was going to tell him. 

“Hey um-” 

“Hyunjin! Why are you calling other people when you’re with me?” Y/n whined, making my eyes bug out. I heard Mark laugh in reply. I blushed.

“Wow, the rumors were right, y/n really has the hots for you now? I can’t believe this is true.” I sighed, shaking my head. “You got lucky man.” Oh I wished that were true.

“Nah man, she got his with a love spell some girl put in her locker, now I have to take care of her.” Mark whistled softly.

“Ouch, so she doesn’t really like you?” My heart felt like it was being crushed.

“Nope, make sure that gets around. She’s gonna be super pissed when she gets out of this spell.” Mark shifted in his place.

“Definitely, I don’t want that girl to be mad at me. She’s hella scary. Now I gotta go, Haechan is mad I’m not paying attention to the movie.” I hung up and now decided on what to do with y/n. 

She laid down on my bed, covering herself with the blankets I wrapped around myself at night and she looked like she was ready to fall asleep at anytime. I ruffled my hair in frustration. 

“Ugh, what am I going to do?” I mumbled to myself at the dizzy girl sitting in front of me. 

“Usually when a girl gets in your bed, you’re supposed to get in with them.” She whispered like she was telling me a secret then laughed afterwards like she told me something super funny. I closed my eyes, pulling in all the willpower I had not to lay right next to her and wrap my arms around her. 

“Y/n, ok, you’re usually not like this, you usually hate me and you hate me for slacking off in our project we did together and I know the teacher got mad at you ‘cause for some reason, teachers like me, especially the female ones. And you hate that, and me, so much! Snap out of it!” She looked at me with clear eyes, not resonating with my words. She just smiled.

“You’re cute when you’re mad.” I groaned, leaning back in my chair. 

I had no idea how long I was supposed to be going with y/n torturing me like this. 

I looked up at y/n to see if she was still staring at me, but to my surprise, she was passed out. I sighed in relief. 

“Oh thank God.” 

Hours later, it became night time. I could hear the faint buzzing of my computer monitor and the slight snoring of y/n. 

Suddenly, I heard a voice whispering to me again; it was a faint voice that I knew from before. My heart started beating, not from anticipation, but from fear. 

“What the hell?” I exclaimed, while I heard a yawn from behind me. 

“Hyujinniee, sit down!” She tried pulling me down, but I was too distracted at the voice. The voice that pulled me everywhere and distracted me from getting anything done. Then, she looked at something behind me.

“Why do you have a wand in your room?” Her question made me jump and turn around. I gasped and my eyes bugged out. I screamed and actually jumped into the bed with her. She giggled and pulled me in closer, but I quickly got out of her grasp and went to grab the wand. 

“Use it, use it to fix the girl.” The wand said. At first, I wanted to grab that wand and throw it out the window, but now, I felt compelled to use it. 

“Do it, you know you can.” Before I knew it, I grasped the wand in my hand, feeling the power drag over my arms. I held in a cough and tried to grip the wand so it wouldn’t go out of control. 

“Say the words, you know them.” I felt my mind go numb and a voice unlike mine came out of my mouth and spoke foreign words in Latin. 

The wand was aimed straight at y/n and before I could process what was happening, power shot out of the wand and hit her straight in the chest. She gasped and fell to the bed. 

I threw the wand on the ground, snapping out of any trance I was in and rushed over to her. 

“Y/n!?” I shook her gently but then checked her pulse. I sighed in relief when I felt one. I sighed, laying my head on her arm, hoping she would wake up soon and be ok. 

“Please be ok, please be ok, tell me I haven’t killed anyone.” 

Soon, my prayers were answered when I felt someone grab my hair and throw me off the bed. 

“Ow-!” 

“HWANG HYUNJIN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY-” She stopped yelling at me to take in her surroundings. “W-wait...” She trailed off, realization hitting her. I tried not to smile at her confusion and misery, but I couldn’t help it. 

“The real question is, y/n, is what are you doing in my bed?” I lifted a brow, trying to make her uncomfortable, but once she looked the slightest bit of embarrassed, she gasped. 

“What?”

“The wand!” She pointed, glaring at me. “Why do you have the wand, you said to leave it at the building that disappeared! You liar!” She tried to throw something at me, but I was having just a hard day as she as. 

“Y/n, please calm down and let me explain!” I yelled, subduing her a bit. She glanced nervously around the room and sighed.

“Fine.” She choked out while I was thankful she didn’t grab at me again.

“Ok, so the wand from yesterday, you’re the only one that held onto it, right? And this morning and all day actually, you were clinging onto me for dear life because turns out, the wand actually put a spell on you to fall in love with me. And we were supposed to wait until Professor Jinyoung came back with a special mixture or something to fix you, but this wand just took over my mind and made me turn you back itself. And you are in my bed because you crawled in there yourself and tried to snuggle me.” I gave her a smug grin. 

She sat there in pure silence; I could almost hear the wheels turning in her head. But I didn’t expect her to groan so loud and lay back down.

“A love spell?? With you?!” She groaned, whispering to herself “why me.” I admit, I felt my heart break a little bit, but I knew she didn’t like me. I didn’t know why I got my hopes up. 

“Yeah, but you’re fixed now and don’t worry, the whole school still knows you hate me and that you were struck by a love spell, but don’t worry, I didn’t tell anyone but Prof. Jinyoung about the wand, everyone thinks some bratty girl pulled a dumb trick on you.” I finished bitterly, suddenly feeling like throwing something against a wall. 

She sat there, quietly again. Something she usually isn’t. 

“Are you going to leave now?” I asked her sternly, not understanding why I was so mad all of a sudden, I just felt like lashing out at whoever was in front of me, and this girl made me soft. 

She scoffed.

“Why are you yelling at me? I was under a spell all day!” She defended, getting out of my bed. I felt my blood boil and my head spin with those words.

“Exactly! Because you were under a spell all day and nothing you said to me meant anything! You don’t care about me, like me or anything, you actually think the opposite of that; you despise me and think I’m some arrogant pretty boy. And what hurts the most is I wanted it to be true.” I covered my mouth at the words I blurted. 

“What is happening to me?” I whispered. Somehow, I think I gained courage from the wand. Soon her eyebrows furrowed and she focused on the wand behind me.

“Did it put you under a love spell too, shit Hyunjin, this stuff is dangerous, I can’t believe you would-”

“No.” I said. She took a step back. 

“What?”

“No, I’m not under a love spell or whatever, I’m serious, more serious than I’ve ever been in my life.”

“That’s not much-”

“Shut up, ok? I’m going to try and be romantic now.” She scoffed, but I could see a blush creep in on her cheeks. 

“Hyunjin-” I softly quieted her by taking a step closer.

“I meant all those words y/n and I know I’m getting mad at you, but really I’m made at myself for believing your words and somewhat enjoying your close proximity, but I want more now. I want the real you, I want you to like me for who I really am. And I want you to know that I love you for who you really are.” I whispered those last few sentences, getting closer to her, closer than I’ve ever been before. 

I bent down to her level and inched my lips closer. I saw her lick her lips which got me excited to just capture her lips. 

“Is this ok?” I mumbled, making sure she wasn’t uncomfortable, but once I felt her slowly about to bob her head, I heard a knock on the door. We quickly jumped apart, breaking the mood.

I growled and flung it open. 

“What?!” I yelled, but quickly apologized once I saw my professor. “Oh, um, hi Professor Jinyoung. Um...” I trailed off once he entered the room.

He raised a brow when y/n waved to him, smiling widely as she usually does. 

“She’s better now.” He stated. I nodded and then frowned.

“Oh yea, um sorry about that um...” I scratched the back of my neck, feeling awkward talking to my teacher when I still felt chills from y/n’s lips being so close to mine. He then crossed his arms.

“It’s fine, but was I interrupting something?” I turned red and looked at the ground. I heard y/n cough too. 

“Um, I’ll be going now. See you tomorrow Hyunjin!” She called out, scurrying past the both of us. Then, I realized her words and smiled widely.

“Did she just say she was going to see me tomorrow? YES!” I said pumping my fists in the air. I heard my professor but I didn’t care. I finally had a chance with the girl who I thought hated me.

“Sigh, young love. We’ve all been there.”

[ginevrafangirl]

Initialization

Warnings : Torture and Death of an OC

She knocks quietly at the door to a chamber.

"Come in!" says a hoarse voice.

And she does. He is sitting on a cot, bare-chested, healing some wounds. She gasps.

"What happened to you?" she asks, her voice full of concern.

He looks at her for a moment, then answers, "Initialization. To be fully considered as part of the pack, even as the alpha, you need to go through it. And since they are werewolves, it can get… a bit rough at times."

She feels a wave of concern for this man go through her, even though she only met him a few hours ago.

Rodolphus and Bella were flooing to her Uncle's house, Number 12 Grimmauld Place, when something went wrong and they were spit out the wrong grate. The floo network had undergone an unexpected malfunction and all traffic was jammed. The engaged couple had no choice but to wait in the big, dirty mansion till it got up and running. There were anti-apparition wards on it, an indicator that it was inhabited, so they set off to find their unwitting hosts.

The host, it turned out, was a muscular man, with matted hair, rotting, yet sharp teeth, and keen yellow eyes. His nails were covered in grime, and smelled of blood and fleas. Being quite familiar with the smell herself, she immediately warmed to the man who introduced himself as Fenrir Greyback. Bella had heard of the werewolf; he bit his victims early, and manipulated them throughout childhood to hate the government and all civilized society. She didn't care much for civilized society either, finding balls, galas and tea parties a complete waste of time.

After a quick chat, Fenrir had graciously agreed to host them till the Floo network was up and running again. He told them a little more about him, that he lived in here with his pack, and that he had a special experiment underway. Then he'd stopped, like an idea had popped into his head. He said that since they were there, he could unveil it then. He led them to his dungeon where there sat a huge cauldron full of a black, bubbling potion. He then assembled his entire pack, and added the final ingredient before their very eyes, the potion rose and swirled around a black tornado, slowly taking the shape of a man.

That man is currently sitting on a cot in the dungeon with scratch marks all over his torso.

Deciding to be bold, she walks into the room.

"Can I help you with that?" she asks, softly.

Another pause later, he nods. "Thank you."

Taking out her own wand, she mutters a few incantations she remembers from her sisters that heal broken skin and bruises. Andy had always loved learning healing, and even though she thought it was useless, she had obliged to learn a few basic spells. She twists her wand in the shape of a tear of the phoenix, one of the most powerful healers. His chest glows brightly for a few seconds before dimming, looking as good as new. She smiled for a second before gracefully seating herself next to the half-naked man.

"How do you know so much?" she asks.

He quirks an eyebrow. "About?"

She shrugs, "Everything. The way you talked to me at lunch, and the ease with which you use magic isn't something I would expect from a man generated out of a potion four hours ago. Everything. You seem… very well informed. When we talked at lunch, we talked about politics, values, and the future of the Wizarding World. Now, you are very familiar with the inner workings of a werewolf pack. Seeing as you were just generated out of a potion, I am a little surprised at your worldliness. Were books part of the ingredients?"

He laughs, before saying, "Didn't Fenrir tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

He smiles tentatively, saying. "I haven't been completely generated out of a potion. The potion was made from my remains."

Shock. Revulsion. Horror. Those are all things she should be feeling right now. Instead, she is intrigued, asking, "Your remains? So you were…dead?"

"Not entirely. I chose to end my life so I could change myself. But all that has ended is simply my physical appearance. My memory remains untouched… I had some dirty Muggle blood in me, and in my features. That was unacceptable. So, I decided to rearrange myself." he says, his voice still slightly hoarse yet suddenly chilly. 

She is surprised to hear of his disdain for Muggles. It is becoming more and more popular to embrace these useless nitwits, and she is glad a few vestiges of sense still remain.

"Interesting," she mutters. She has been against such filth since the beginning, hate and repulsion that was partially filtered down from her parents, partially all her own. She knows she is right, but having someone else share your belief always makes you feel validated.

"Tell me more about you, before." This time her voice is louder.

"Before I became this?" he asked coldly.

She nodded. "I am very interested in finding more out about you. You seem like a very righteous man, and I am curious as to what motivates you, what drives you."

He smiles, and his face looks even more… distorted. It fascinates Bella to no end. When he smiles, his dull skin brightens, in a stark contrast to the rest of his body. A hint of his yellow teeth peek from his lips, and… even a dimple graces his left cheek.

"I lead a simple life. All I want is to purify all magical bloodlines. By any means possible. Too long have we wizards, gifted with such power, downplayed our abilities for Muggles. We do not need them. Not even as slaves, as we have house-elves for that. They have absolutely no purpose other than impeding our lives from embracing our abilities and not being afraid of the Statue of Secrecy. The purer the blood, the stronger the magic." He speaks with confidence, head held high. In that moment, he shines. The dirty dungeon is not a very glamorous place, filled with cobwebs and dust, but in that moment, Bella feels like she is witnessing the birth of a glorious revolution.

Another chill runs through her. This time, it is triggered by the assertiveness of the wizard before her. To have survived death proves he is a remarkably skilled and resilient sorcerer, and his ambition lights a similar desire within her to help him. He had just expressed what she had been feeling for a long time. That fire of conviction she had let go of after her engagement, comes back with a vengeance. She is eager to fight; to fight for what she believes in.

She lets her eyes trace his features. He does not look human. Gleaming scarlet eyes, pale skin, smooth scalp, hints of a long nose, lips that are drained of all colour. No, he is not human. He is a God.

"May I?" his questions shakes her out of her thoughts. He is pointing at a thin black piece of cloth behind her. He wants to get dressed.

Silently she hands him the fabric, which he wears with fluid movements.

"I am pleased to know what you think of me," he says, once dressed.

She is startled. "I did not say a word."

He smiles that inhumane smile again and remarks, "Yet I know you think of me as a God."

Her breath catches in her throat. "I have never met a Legilimens that could break through my barriers." She has been trained since a young age to bar inquisitive idiots from her mind. Her parents warned her how many powerful wizards were skilled Legilimens and desired to bring down the Black family for doing what they believe in. "You must be truly formidable."

"I am., he says with utter certainty. "Your barriers were the strongest I have ever come across. What is your family name?"

"Black. I was Bellatrix Black, daughter of Cygnus Black."

For a split second, she sees a flicker of surprise in his scarlet eyes.

"Black? Well it seems I stumbled upon a member of the purest family of all," he says, sounding interested.

She rushes at the opportunity, eager to please "Our family motto is 'Toujours Pur'. I have a sister who married into the Malfoy family."

"The Malfoys are one of my most loyal supporters. If you were to join me, you would have very useful ties."

She stops for a second. "J-Join you?"

His gaze sharpens. "Yes. Join me. You would be doing your family and yourself a great favor. I would be pleased to have both your husband-to-be and you to join me. We would make a formidable team, bringing vengeance on our enemies and letting nothing stop us from our goal. And when we inevitably win, you will be rewarded most of all for believing early on."

Suddenly, she remembers Rodolphus, having a chat with Fenrir in the lounge. Feeling guilty, she widens the gap between her and the man before her. Rodolphus. Her family wants him for her. And she is already promised to him. She is a woman of honour. She cannot be swayed by annoyingly attractive super wizards.

He seems to sense her change in mood. He inches forward. "You would be…invaluable to me."

She is paralyzed; elated at the thought this man is talking to her in such a suggestive manner. She feels completely drawn in. As he inches closer, her mind draws up justifications for the deed she is about to commit. Who is she? Cattle? She will not be promised to anyone. Her whole life she listened to her family. It is time she does something for herself. Besides, no one expects Rodolphus to be faithful. Why should she?

He keeps moving closer to her till their faces are only inches apart.

"You have already shown your magical skill by healing me," he whispers. "I want to see what else you can do."

She closes her eyes, completely swept away by the charm of the man. At this point, he could ask anything of her, and she would oblige. He however, makes no further move. After realizing that, she opens her eyes again.

"What do you want to me do?"

He licks his lips. "Joining me requires certain… parameters. Mudbloods and filthy Muggles will be eradicated. Show me what you would do to them. Show me how much pain you can bring scum. Can you bring them to their knees? Can you make them beg? Can you torture them to hell and back without any aggressive behavior from them?"

Her heart beats wildly. Her hands are trembling. Her eyes are bright, excited. "Bring me a target, and I will."

He backs away, and pulls up his sleeve. For the first time, she notices a giant red snake tattoo on his forearm, coming out of a skull. She feels incredibly aroused at the thought of being branded like cattle by this dream of a wizard, even though she had just objected to the same treatment from her parents and from Rodolphus. He presses one long pale finger to it and it burns black.

"What is that?" she asks.

"A method of communication between me and my… friends," he answers. 

No later than a minute later, Fenrir rushes through the door. "You called?"

The man looks at him and commands, "Bring me your least useful beast."

Fenrir looks uncertain for a second, but the harsh look sent him cowering to find him.

Bella guesses why that command had been so specific. She will kill the beast, and prove herself to be worthy to join the formidable wizard beside her.

"What about Rodolphus? How shall he prove himself?" she asks.

He glances at her, saying. "He doesn't need to. I am convinced a formidable witch such as yourself would have been promised to an equally formidable wizard."

She laughs. "Oh no. My family decided he was a perfect suitor based on his stellar bloodlines, and he is a great wizard, but he comes nowhere close to me. To put it into perspective, the most creative curse he can come up with is Diffindo, because he loves seeing blood spurt from his victims. He can barely hold the Cruciatus for a minute. I have for twenty."

He is barred from replying by the arrival of a pale, thin and undernourished girl.

"I'm Astrid. Fenrir said you asked for me."

Bella turns to face her. "Oh hello, Astrid. Why don't you come in?" her voice is a perfect mix of friendliness and charm.

And she does, slightly timidly. The girl settles herself in a chair as Bella silently locks and wards the door to prevent the noises from going out. She doesn't seem to notice.

"You are really pretty, Astrid," says Bella, standing up from the cot and walking towards her prey, twirling her wand between her fingers.

"Erm…thanks?" she says uncertainly.

Leaning in, just as the wizard had done a small while ago, her voice changes. "That wasn't a compliment." And with that, she slashes her wand across the girls face and makes several deep cuts along her nose, lips and forehead. The gashes start bleeding heavily as she shouts in pain.

"Not so pretty anymore, are you?" mocks Bella. When Astrid doesn't answer, she gets angry and inflicts a few more cuts on her body.

The girl is crying, trying to shield herself with her hands, but it was useless. No one was safe from Bellatrix. Not the girl who had dared to make fun of her at Hogwarts, or the boys who called her names behind her back, and especially not the innocent bystander to any evil thing she planned in public. Do not even get her started on all the Ministry officials that tried to restrain her that one time.

Seemingly getting bored from the blood, Bella dials it up a notch with her specialty, "Crucio!"

The girl starts screaming and writhing, only kept in place by the metal constraints that Bella had conjured.

A manic smile spreads across the face of the dark haired woman as she listens to the screams. Bella feels a rush through her body, an exhilaration that nothing else could provide. She remembers her excitement when her parents taught her the curse. Cissy and Andy had also learnt it with her, but she was the best at it, took the most pleasure. Cissy had done well, Andy had barely passed, but she, she excelled at it. Her favorite time is probably the current moment, but beside that, it would have been the time she accidentally drove a First-Year insane after challenging herself to keep it up as long as possible.

She lifts the curse and turns to the wizard, an eyebrow raised.

He looks at her, his lips stretched in a smile, gleaming eyes. "Finish it."

Her grin broadens. "With pleasure."

She then turns back to her panting victim with a flourish and waits till the girl looks her right in the eye. "Avada Kedavra."

The green light shoots from her wand, hitting the girl who immediately goes limp.

"Well done." She hears him say. Bella faces him again as he continues. "You are truly a find. Worthy of my mission. You shall receive my mark."

She bows her head slightly in gratefulness. "What can I call you?"

"Whatever you like, Bella," he says in that high voice of his.

"Thank you… my Lord."

A twitch of his lips betrays his stoic expression as his lifts his wand and engraves the skull and snake into her skin. "Mordsmordre!"

A/N: I am a reserve for the QLFC on FF and this is my entry for Round 6. The prompt is ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’