#and would've remained clueless probably forever and also we possibly could've drifted apart entirely idk
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hate when my parents ask about one of my friends like i never know what’s going on with anyone and i already feel terrible about my inability to keep up with any of them and it just really just piles on
#personal#like it was pure luck i found out all the huge shit going on with my one friend#just bc we hadn't talked much in a while and then we did and talked about hanging out#and i actually pushed to make it happen whereas a lot of the time if i don't hear anything i just let it go#so then we actually had a proper opportunity to catch up but i very easily could not have pushed#and would've remained clueless probably forever and also we possibly could've drifted apart entirely idk#but i'm not good at texting people unless i have a reason so in this case i'd get updates from her from time to time and stuff#but if i don't have a specific thing to ask about my brain just can't think of anything#and even then i overthink it even though it's literally talking to people who know me lol#that should not be stressful and yet#and if i get to see people in person where it would be easier to catch up it's almost always group things#so like if i don't get any one on one time with anyone then i don't get to just have a normal conversation#idk i really hate it and feel like most things are hanging by a thread bc i'm terrible at friendship#and ofc i used to not be like this i used to be a person people would come to and now it's nothing like that
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