#and while he's kinkier than a knotted string he's out of practice

[elizabethemerald]

Bruce woke up with the sound of two other people breathing next to him. He kept himself still and his breathing even as he tried to analyze his situation. He was definitely between two other warm bodies, both with their arms wrapped tightly around him.

While he wasn't wholly unfamiliar with a menage a trois from his wild playboy days prior to adopting Dick, his nights were never actually as wild as the paparazzi liked to pretend, and it had been a long time since he was willing to risk the safety of his kids by bringing multiple partners to his bed.

"It's ok, baby, we've got you." A deep voice murmured in his ear as the person to his left pulled him closer, then the arms across his chest tensed. "Wait, you're not Danny? Sam, wake up."

The person to his right, Sam apparently, snorted as she roused, and sat up a little to look him over. Bruce risked opening his eyes, he was trapped between two people, tangled in sheets and in a completely unknown situation, even with all his training this would be a bad situation if he had to fight his way out.

"He looks like Danny, Tucker, is he overshadowed?" Sam asked.

Sam was pale, with a black faux-hawk and purple eyes. She was completely naked and wasn't shy about her body. Tucker had dark skin and black hair. He had his hair styled in long dreads with multiple golden charms clasped to the locks. Bruce watched as his eyes flashed gold for a second before a sensation like sand gently pouring over his skin swept across his body.

"Oh, body swap. Looks like this soul is from a different dimension." Tucker said, declaring such an absurd situation with such certainty that Bruce could only guess that they had experienced something like this before. "Is your name still Danny in your universe?"

"My name is Bruce, Bruce Wayne." Bruce said, finally speaking and sitting up.

"Oh! Danny's alternate is rich!" Sam said with a cheer as she stood up and walked over to the closet. "Listen to that posh diction."

Bruce averted his eyes from his alternate's partner and looked ready to deny it when Tucker patted his shoulder.

"Don't worry, Bruce. Sam knows rich people. Her parents were millionaires." He whispered the last like it was a secret. "We've handled this sort of thing before, so we'll get you all sorted out and back in your proper body in no time."

Bruce jumped as an electrical charged arced across his body, he turned, ready to defend himself and he found Sam once more standing next to him, a small taser in her hand. Some how he hadn't even heard her approach.

"Sorry about that, our Danny's got some powers that we don't want you to hurt yourself with. That just disables them for a few hours." She had a sharp grin and still hadn't put on any clothes.

"You keep something to disable your partner in your closet?" Bruce couldn't help the question. Sam's smile grew even sharper, bordering on inhuman at the question.

"Of course! How else am I supposed to have him bound and begging before me?"

.

Danny had a sense when something strange was going on. It wasn't his ghost sense, or even from his accident. If anything it was a family trait. Jack and Maddie used it to find ghosts and haunted locations long before their tech could actually pick up on ecto, Jazz used to suss out when Danny had lied to her about eating his vegetables, and Danny used it whenever he had to work with the non ghostly members of the Infinite Realms. There was just this tingling in the back of his mind that told him that everything was not as it seemed.

So when he walked into the dinning room to find it full of Bruce Wayne's kids who all looked at him with concern then pretended everything was fine, that sense started going off. As they all began clearly speaking in different coded phrases while subtly (though not subtly enough) checking in on him, the sense grew even stronger.

Finally Danny set his fork down after eating some of the delicious breakfast that Alfred had prepared for him and looked around the room. All of Bruce's kids tensed and looked like they were trying to pretend that they weren't readying for a fight. He let himself smile at all of them.

"So it's clear this alternate gets up to some kind of weirdness." Danny said, his smile widening as the others tried to parse his words. "Now I don't need to know everything, its not my business, but I would like you all to know, that I am an alternate version of your father from a different dimension and I've dealt with some weirdness myself. I'm certain my partners are already working on getting everybody back in their proper bodies."

It was clear the others hadn't expected him to just come out and admit that he was body swapped, but just as clear that they had all figured out he wasn't their father. He wondered what gave him away, but let it go as he picked his fork back up and continued eating for a few more bites. When the silent conversations that were happening across the table started to grow panicked he spoke up again.

"Is there some where you would like me to wait where there aren't any secrets until my partners get this situation sorted? You are of course more than welcome to continue to observe me for any suspicious behavior, though I would like to get to know my alternate's children if you would allow me."

Danny smiled as the heated (yet silent) debate once more sprung into existence. He stood and allowed Alfred to lead him to a sitting room with a large TV. He relaxed into one of the stupidly comfortable couches rich people could afford. He had wanted to take a vacation for a while, might as well make the most of the time he had.

Super short dp x dc idea

Danny is an Alternative Universe version of bruce Wayne. They get switched through some hijinks and Danny is trying to be Bruce-like and just trying to act like a Good Dad to these children his alternate self has amassed (holy shit). Like, He's doing his best to attend school plays and parent-teachers conferences (because Alfred still reminds Bruce of all of them even if he says he can't make it) and is doing no batman stuff (because Danny is unaware there is even such thing as batman stuff).

Meanwhile, the children are 100% sure Bruce is a) possessed b) concussed c) hypnotized d) any and all of the above.