#and while I love turtles and we used to have one they're more expensive

[thedawningofthehour]

Okay I lied I do actually want to do something for the anniversary. (it won't be the anniversary by the time I post this but shhhhh)

It's not going to be turtle themed though. You guys remember last year when I made fun of rich people's houses? I'd like to do that again.

This...domicile comes to us from Camden, Maine, with seven bedrooms and six baths, tops out at 6,000 square feet and can be yours for a paltry two million.

They really wanted to show off that they had money for the fountain.

Also, is it just me or do rich people houses seem woefully cheap compared to regular people houses? Like, 2 mil is a lot, but if you do the math with the space and amenities they have-like, I highly doubt you could put three 2,000 sqft houses on this parcel of land and get one for 650k. Definitely not in Camden. I remember the first time we moved we looked at one house that was nearly 2 mil-for fun, even when we had money we didn't have that much money-and it was probably about half the size of this. And it was in suburban TC, not a ritzy summer colony. And had been built twenty years before, not the previous as this one was.

Plus this was 2008. The...particular economics of that year in regards to housing prices aside, two mil in 2008 is, uh...quite a bit more now.

So if you expand this picture, you'll see that there's Asian-esque map-looking things set into the wall, and Asian writing over the door. I think they're Chinese characters, but I'm not 100% certain. This entire house has a supposedly Asian theme. I have...things to say, but I'll hold off for now until I have more examples to show what I'm talking about.

Also I just can't with the stone choices. Kudos to them for actually trying to landscape though.

...

I mean, I will give them points for doing the complete inverse of a Lawyer Foyer. Those columns though. Like. When have those ever looked good outside a hotel lobby? When have they ever looked good inside a hotel lobby? How much dust does those bottoms collect? Why do they seemingly have hotel curtains as well?

Usually, columns like this are made of foam with a stone veneer, I think these are at least partially real. A lot of stuff in this house misses the 'cheap shit designed to look expensive' marker that defines McMansions, it looks genuinely decadent-it's just ugly as shit.

THEY HAVE TWO CHANDELIERS. ONE WASN'T ENOUGH FOR THEM, THEY HAD TO HAVE TWO MASSIVE CHANDELIERS TO PROVE THEIR DINGDONGS. AND THAT'S IN ADDITION TO THE FOYER CHANDELIER.

I like how they put the bar in directly next to the front door. Like they know you're going to walk in and will immediately need a drink.

Why is there this ugly gold runner everywhere? I feel like I'm in Trump Tower. Or a gourmet candy bar.

Yes I see the cabinet, no we're not going to talk about it right now. While I love seeing houses that actually have color in them, I'm just...the teal and pink is fine, but it's hard to pull off different variants of a color together. Teal and true blue, it's just...it doesn't work. And these guys have TVs on like every wall for some reason?

Mostly just including this picture to point out the safe on the floor. In the dining room. And to call attention to the weird goldish-bronze border that doesn't seem to start and end where it's supposed to.

Also, yes, these walls are entirely done in tile. It's like they wanted to do something other than the beige but couldn't decide what to go with so they just worked the kitchen tile through the rest of the house.

Speaking of the kitchen...

What

I. I don't. I. I. Why the sink-

????????!!!!

There's...I just don't. Like. You can't even pick a place to start.

The fact that they picked pretty much the busiest tile pattern known to man wouldn't have been such a big deal...if they hadn't tiled the inside and outside of the cabinets. And removed the doors to said cabinets. And hadn't picked a second, equally busy tile pattern to play against the first.

Actually, let's go back to the two tile patterns. Not only are they both way too busy to work with each other, they're both browns...but completely the opposite variants of brown. The lower pattern has more blacks and greys and even a bit of blue in it, while the border browns are warmer shades. You really can't mix warm and cool shades of the same color. It just doesn't look good.

And we have to talk about that counter. It looks somehow like the cheapest 90s shit you'd see in a roller rink or an ocean-themed Chuck E. Cheese, but also you know it cost ungodly amounts of money.

Why is it so thin? Why is the sink so deep in the island? Why is the recessed lighting lopsided?

And we're not even touching upon the floor. These people clearly did not understand feature elements. The floor, counter, and both sets of tile are all dueling for dominance, and we're the neglected child caught up in the custody battle sitting on the lawn with our bags. This kitchen was designed by someone who didn't care if god forgave them.

Oh okay, so we're just using those tiles throughout the entire house now. Fantastic.

That...counter is not beating the 90s cheese allegations.

Is it just me, or does the second chandelier look like it would clip your head on the way down?

No yeah, it is straight-up Right Fucking There. Completely unnecessary too, considering the plethora of recessed lighting. And they've somehow managed to make this hallway look busy despite having absolutely nothing on the walls.

I'm putting in three photos to show that these are in fact different rooms. I'm not including the other bedroom photos because I literally don't know if they're other bedrooms or just different angles of these bedrooms, because every bedroom is decorated exactly the same.

But this is what I meant when I called this house 'Asian-esque' earlier. Now, granted, I don't know a ton about modern architecture and design trends in Asia or among Asian-Americans, so I very much might be putting my foot in my mouth here and I fully deserve the ridicule if that is the case. But to me this doesn't feel like...legitimate. This feels like someone who wants to look cultured, who considers the Far East to be exotic and elegant and would unironically use the term Oriental to describe their style. It feels like they designed this without actually understanding anything about Asian art and architecture and had no desire to learn. It doesn't feel like one thing in particular, it feels like they took elements from Japanese, Chinese, and even Indian styles and gestured vaguely to all of them because they were too scared to commit.

You know, I'll give them credit, the blue does look nicer with the brown. It doesn't look good, but nicer.

Still the same lack of cabinet doors. And the same glow-in-the-dark bathroom counter. It took me a solid few seconds to find the sink there-and then I burst out laughing when I saw it.

I don't know why, but the stone plus that golden window insert makes me think Rocky Rococo.

WHY DOES THEIR GARAGE HAVE THE GRANITE FLOORING?!!

God, this is like my grandmother and her carpeted garage. But she has an excuse in that she doesn't give a fuck what you think.

I don't know why but this is fucking hysterical to me.

Also it doesn't look like there's a...door? To the garage? In Maine? Like, even if it's a heated garage, it's still going to be cold. And it's also dirty, like, you don't want bugs and car fumes wafting into your living spaces?

I haven't even mentioned the ceiling decoration or the crown molding. Or the fact that the crowd molding, doorways, and candy bar wrapper walls are all different shades of gold. And I'd like to keep it that way.

On a side note, what is up with all the recessed lighting? Not that they have it, but doesn't it seem like...a lot? Like, I feel like they could thin them out a bit, you're practically under hospital lights. People with recessed lighting, is this normal? I've only had it in one room of one house, but I don't remember it being this...dense. (I do remember my sister and I once knocked the glass out of the baffle while playing. that's how I learned that those things get really hot)

This is like a church basement if it was also The Backrooms.

[firebirdsdaughter]

Oh!…

… I realised a good comparison for something I said in my Ryusoulger subs ramble!

When I said that I think a little bit of Banba snapping at Kou is bc he’s starting to get a little fond of the trio?

I was thinking, like, something along the same lines of his ‘You’re naive’ comments to Touwa at the start of this ep. Being harsh (and/or aggressive) to warn them away from what he perceives as inevitable hurt and betrayal.

Obvious, maybe, but I am an anxious, when I think, I must speak. DX

[writteninkat]

Red Dragon | Toji x reader

summary: Toji has his way with you after finding out about the red dragon tattoo you have on your back.

f!reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: 18+, dumbification(??), ass slapping

"It's hot today isn't it?" Kugisaki pinches her uniform with her index and thumb, flapping it to create some sort of air to try and cool down her body underneath her uniform. "Aren't you hot underneath all that turtle neck and long sleeves, sensei?"

You look up at her from your paper work, pen in between your fingers. You recall her question, taking a few moments to answer before shrugging your shoulders. "Ah, I get it now. You don't have anything else underneath, do you?" Kugisaki teases you, now her index finger is pointed at your chest as she gives you a teasing smirk.

You chuckle at her attempt but give in nonetheless, unbuttoning your uniform and peeling it off your skin to show the spaghetti strap uou have on. No, you don't feel as warm as Kugisaki, probably, but you can still handle the heat. You hand your uniform behind your chair to prevent it from getting creases.

You look around your table, frowning when you don't see any random hair ties lying around. Sighing, you take a pen and bite on it, busying your hands with rolling and putting your hair up in a bun before using the pen to secure it.

Kugisaki looks at you with sparkles in her eyes, at awe by how you just tied your hair up with a pen. "That's amazing sensei! Teach me how to do it, please?"

You smile at her, curling your finger at her, signaling her to come nearer. "Just look at how I did my hair, it's pretty easy to follow." You point up at your messy bun, a few steay hairs falling down in the front part of your face when you bend your neck down.

When Kugisaki is behind you, you feel a hand on your neck. "Woah, since when did you get this tatted?"

The other teachers, Gojo, Atsuya, Shoko and Toji all look up at you in sync, oblivious to the red dragon tattoo on your upper back. Everyone of them had curiosity glimmering in their eyes, especially Toji.

"Five years ago, after I graduated." You answer your student, but your eyes are on Toji who's still eyeing you.

"Did it hurt?" She asks.

You keep your gaze on Toji, your- what do you call him? Boyfriend? No, your relationship isn't really that serious with him. Then maybe a fuck buddy? That'll have to do -fuck buddy.

"I guess I liked the pain." A smirk twitches on your lips as you give Toji a teasing look, knowing full well the kind of effect you have on him. He gives you a look telling you to be careful, but you brush it off, going back to grading your students' school works.

By the time the sun sets, the school is quiet and the students have went back to their respective homes. You stay for overtime, trying to make up for the week you asked off. All one could hear inside the faculty was the sound of uour pen scribbling on paper, writing notes and pointers for your students as you correct their mistakes.

Then you hear footsteps. Shivers run up your spine at the thought that you knew exactly who they were from and where they're exactly coming from. Not long after, you feel a large presence behind you, looming over you, covering the light the moon is reflecting back inside the faculty.

"Aren't you going home, Fushiguro?" You try to play yourself off as nonchalant, leaning over to your desk to seem as if you were focused on your work when in fact your legs are squeezing together underneath the table. The smell of Toji's expensive perfuming wafting around you has your cunt dripping wet and clenching down around nothing.

You feel a finger- two fingers press against your nape. Electricity shocks you at the point where your skin and his fingers meet before shivers run down your spine when he begins dragging his fingers softly down your back, feeling over the spot where you know where your tattoo is.

"You never told me about this." Toji's deep voice resonates around the room like a dark melody, keeping you on your toes as you feel the butterflies lose themselves at the sound of it. "You never asked." You clench your jaw, holding yourself back from begging him to fuck upu right then and there.

"If you told me I would have done something about it." He runs his fingers back up on the center of your back, this time slowly running onto your shoulder, hooking his finger on the strap and pulling it off, letting it fall off your shoulder.

You turn your head to the side, looking down at his legs. "And what exactly would you have done after I told you about it?"

You're playing a dangerous game and you know it. You can practically smell the intense lust Toji's currently suppressing inside him. You know you shouldn't- not in the faculty at least, but you can't help it. He's wearing that black shirt that hugs his body perfectly, a bit tight on the biceps and chest area, giving you a good look at the effects of years of training and fighting curses. Arms that could lift you around easily, as if you weigh nothing.

It all happened so quickly- you feel Toji's arms on wither sides of your waist. He pulls you up from your seat, kicking the chair away with his foot so nothing was in between the two of you. He forces you bent over on your table, your short pencil skirt hiking up and showing off the base of your ass.

Toji's hand is on your head, fingers combed theough your hair as he forces it down on the table. His other hand runs up and down your sides, fingers following every curve. It reaches your thigh, giving it a squeeze making you moan softly.

"Oh fuck," Toji breathes out, gaze scanning over the red dragon tattoo on your back with you in this position. He has a very clear view of it and the fact that your ass is on full view has him rock hard in his pants. "I really fucked you missionary all this time when I could have had you in doggy or bent over a table like this?"

He pulls your leg up, placing it on the table to give himself better access to your dripping cunt. Your slick as traveling down your other leg as he presses two fingers against your clothed sex. You moan loudly, voice resonating around the room as you scrunch up your brows.

Toji leans in, a sadistic grin stretched across his face. "You're already so wet for me. You love having master force you down like this?" His fingers begin massaging circles on your clit, causing for moans to spill out of your mouth. Toji let's go of your head and pulls your hands together, pinning them behing your back. "Hmm? Yeah? Like it when you can't move properly like this?" He presses his fingers even deeper onto your cunt, making you throw your head back.

Toji begins licking on your neck, sucking on your sensitive skin as he listens to your moans as if they were opera music. You feel your legs begin to clench together as you near your high, your hips rocking back and forth uncontrollably. When Toji slips his fingers underneath your thin underwear, you drop your head on the table and let out a moan as your feet lift your heels, feeling your orgasm wash over you.

The fact that it's been a long and stressful day makes the orgasm even more intense- the pent up frustrations you had formthe day were just spilled over like that by two fingers and you couldn't even be more happier.

Your deep breaths replace your loud moans inside the room. You look around, feeling needier when you watch Toji lick and suck on his fingers, lapping on your juices as he looks at you dead in they eye.

You follow his hand as it reaches on the waistline of his sweatpants, pulling it down along with his briefs to let his cock spring out. It's red, it's hard, precum is oozing from its tip and you want nothing more than to drop to your knees and lap it up until Toji is fucking your throat.

"You're going to help me with this, or princess." Toji says, his tone sounding more of an order rather than a request and you gladly submit to him. He enters a finger in your hole, a second one immediately following after making you moan out his name loudly. He pumps them in a few times before curling them, the pads of his two calloused fingers pressing and rubbing against the particular part inside your cavern that has your eyes widening as well as your mouth.

"Ah- oh! Oh god!" Your toes curl at the feeling of Toji massaging that area, "Fuck! Toji! Toji please just fuck me now!" You yell, tears brimming your eyes as spit dribbles down the side of your mouth at the feeling of extreme pleasure.

"You're not cumming until you call me by the name we agreed on." He presses against the area even more andall you ever want in the moment is to cum on his fingers. "What's my name, princess?" He whispers into your ear.

"Sir!"

Toji thrusts his fingers inside you relentlessly, pressing on the exact same spot again and again until you're cumming hard around his fingers, cunt clenching around his digits as you rock your hips into circles while riding out your orgasm.

A while ago you didn't mention once that you were feeling hot, but now you feel as if your body is on fire. Toji once again brings his fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean before grabbing onto your hair and pulling your head closer to his.

"I'm going to fuck you now, really really hard." He whispers into your ear and without warning, thrusts his entire length inside you. A gargled moan slips out of your lips in shock and he pushes you back onto the table, eyes on your tattoo as he pounds into you rigorously. You hear his sac slapping against your skin creating such lewd noises when paired with your uncontrolled moans.

He keeps your arms behind your back with one had as the other slaps red hand marks on your ass, his thrusts slowly going even faster with ever slap. Your moans are on and off- in sync with his thrusts.

You can feel yourself slowly losing to darkness as your body grows limp, your drool continues to deip down your mouth and your eyes slowly rolling to the back of your head.

Toji squeezes your face, forcing you to look at your laptop's black screen which served as a mirror. "Look at yourself as I fuck you dumb. You like having my cock inside you like this, hmm? Yeah you like it." His face contorts into a snarl as his thrusts become even harsher by the second.

"That tattoo on your back had me bothered all day princess. Hope all that teasing was worth it." He growls into your ear and all you can do is nod, nod at everything he says.

To be honest, you have no idea what else is going on today. All you can ever feel is his cock ramming inside you and its tip continuously abusing your g-spot again and again and again. You feel a know tighten inside you as you let out a long moan, arching your back even more as you lean your head back to Toji's shoulder.

"Fuck I can feel you tightening around me. Ready to cum a third time tonight, princess?" He growls into your ear, his free hand finding its way on my tummy as he feels himself ramming inside me. Toji can feel his tip poking against your lower stomach's skin, letting him know just how deep he is inside you.

"S-sir! Sir! I'm cumming!" You yell, letting yourself get pushed back down onto the table as Toji thrusts into you at an incredible speed, showing off his stamina after years of hard work and fighting. "That's right, cum on my cock princess. You deserve it."

You do as told, your toes are curling, a long moan slips between your tongue as your eyes roll to the back of your head. Toji's cock- it feels too good inside you, especially right now when he's nearing his high and his thrusts are turning sloppier and sloppier until he reaches his high and pulls out, cumming all over your ass and back. He watches as his load reaches all the way up your tattoo, covering some of the intricate details.

The room is filled with your ragged breaths as you two calm down from your highs. You feel your slick run down your inner thighs as Toji's cum on your back begins to feel uncomfortable as it dries up.

Toji pushes himself off of you, tucking his dick back inside his pants. He pulls one of your drawers open and takes out the tissues you keep in their. All while pressing you down on the desk, he cleans you up, wiping off all the slick and cum all over your body. Once he finishes, he softly pulls you up and sits you on your desk. You flinch at the feeling of your ass on the table, it hurts.

Toji presses kisses all over you- your face, neck, shoulders, arms and especially your lips. He then continues to burrow his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent as he realizes it really helps him calm down.

"Shower at my place so I can massage you right after." He says, his tone different this time. It sounds like more of a request rather than an order.

"I'd rather not let one of my students know his dad just fucked me dumb." You joke, eyes scanning all over Toji's nonchalant expression.

"That wasn't a request." He says.

Okay maybe his tone isn't that different from before.

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