#and when she told bonnie that story she didn't specify location and they assumed it happened in bambouche

[beneathsilverstars]

DO YOU HAVE ANY. headcanons about!! families?? outside of the party??

if not, relationships with food / cooking :]

Mira's family dynamics I talked about recently! Only child, lots of pressure to be her parents' perfect coddled baby, they loved her but couldn't love her bc they never gave her space to be herself. Let's say she has a mom and a dad, both trans. I think her parents struggled with infertility and had a previous late-term miscarriage — lots of time to desperately plan out their perfect family, and not much hope of a second child on whom to pin any of those dreams. They're so sad that she's not really in contact with them anymore, but they don't push it because they know they did something wrong, even if they don't quite get what they should've done instead.

Mira tried her best to go along with their plans and act properly as a child, but withdrew more and more as a teenager, then left at age 16. She didn't run away, and technically her parents gave their blessing, but they had a huge fight about it which had never really happened before. Sometimes Mira considers reaching out, but she feels too guilty about making her dad cry like that, and then upset that she feels guilty, etc. Easier to stay strangers.

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Isabeau we know has a huge family! I think he has three older siblings and two younger (which means he has no older child responsibility, but also no younger child attention). Let's make them up real quick! But only with initials, I can't pull out names that fast.

31 - F - rebellious, angrily resists getting parentified 30 - J - overly kind, helps raise the younger kids, stressed 27 - M - neat freak, lots of hobbies/activities 24 - Isa - quiet, allergic to bothering anyone 23 - D - very sensitive both emotionally and sensorily 21 - L - fussy baby to loud and rambunctious child

The combination of D and L was very difficult! L knocks over D's tower, D starts wailing, L starts screaming, D cries so hard they throw up, etc. Also L's favorite activity from age 2-4 was escaping the house and exploring by herself! And that's why she was the last kid.

Let's say, two moms. Decent people, and good parents for the older couple kids at first, they love kids and looove babies! But they're a bit impulsive, and very stubborn, and really started to struggle with the last two kids. They still did a pretty good job with the most urgent issues, but they just didn't have time or energy for anything that wasn't an urgent issue.

Isabeau's parents often praised him for being so easy — you never cause trouble, you take care of yourself, you're so responsible! So he never went to them when he did maybe need help. Got good at teaching himself skills and repressing difficult emotions and not taking up space. Didn't protest chores, or other people not doing their chores. Didn't invite friends over. Didn't complain. Oh, Isabeau, so self-sufficient you hardly know he's there!

He got really good at reading a room! He's seen many a tantrum and argument, and quietly learned which resolution methods worked better or worse and even usually reasoned out why. He just... never did anything with that knowledge, because stepping in to mediate involves stepping in and becoming part of that conflict. Scary! And it's not like any of his siblings would listen to him, anyway, they barely remember he exists.

For the first half of his childhood, one of his mom's siblings lived with them too, along with their two kids. The cousins were nice enough, but 2 and 5 years older than F, and kinda fed up with all the young children pestering them. Though, out of everyone Isa was the favorite of the younger of the two, because he wasn't annoying and made a useful sounding board for her schoolwork. Isa got to learn about advanced topics and sometimes receive cool trinkets! Still not a super strong relationship, but he was devastated when she reached adulthood and moved out.

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We know Odile's mom left when she was very young, I'm gonna say 1.5 years. She got past the baby period and went fuck, it's not getting easier? It's just getting different kinds of difficult? It's going to be difficult for the next 16.5 years??? And skedaddled. Odile's dad had also been ready for things to settle back into normalcy now that the baby was sleeping through the night and eating normal food, and was absolutely blindsided by his partner leaving. He got extremely depressed and relied a lot on community support to help care for Odile for the next little while.

Once Odile was walking and talking like a person, he was able to pull himself together and be there for her, and loved her so ferociously. But sometimes her laugh or something would remind him too much of her mom and he would kinda check out for the rest of the day. He hated thinking about his ex and then he'd start to hate her and then get so, so sad. Maybe even hate Odile for a moment and get even sadder. Why can't he just be content? Odile's the only light in his life, she's what makes everything worth it, why does he still wish he had her mom back instead?

Pobody's nerfect though and he did pretty well! Odile was a fairly cranky toddler because she just couldn't do all of the things that she so desperately wanted to be able to do (also trauma), but once she got past those first 5 years of constant developmental leaps, she mellowed out a lot. So she didn't mind hanging out and coloring or reading a book by herself while her dad was "taking a nap" (staring at the ceiling fighting his inner demons). And she love love loved all the things he did with her, reading and gardening and especially shopping — she got to write the grocery list and count out the money and everything! She got cranky-frustrated again as a teen, on top of increasingly complex feelings about her mom and realizing her dad is depressed as fuck, but they had a strong enough bond to make it through that phase okay.

At some point in her 20s Odile made him go to therapy! It helped, and so did anti-depressants. He even started dating again eventually and now has a nice husband, who Odile was quite wary of at first and generally not interested in getting to know. She's glad her dad is happier now, though! I think he's still alive during ISAT, but getting fairly old since he and his wife were a bit on the older side when Odile was born.

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Bonnie is 11 years old during canon and Pétronille is 20; she ran away from home when Bonnie was 4 and she was freshly 14. She saw that their parents were starting to treat Bonnie the way they treated her, now that they were a full kid instead of a useless toddler, and she got them the fuck out of there!

(cw for the next paragraph: abusive parents, person who is both abusive and mentally ill and abused)

Nille is bipolar with psychotic symptoms, and I've been going back and forth on this but I'm gonna say yes it runs in the family and her mom was bipolar as well. She didn't really give a shit about her kids, she had them because that's what you do! She made Nille do most of the housekeeping, and help with her schemes to turn their lives around for real this time: surely if I perfect this recipe I can open a restaurant, surely if we rearrange the furniture I'll stop hating this house, surely if I buy and wear the right necklace my partner will love me again, etc. The second baby was an attempt to fix her relationship, and while she'd thought baby Nille was cute and had enjoyed the intense new baby-mom relationship, she got sick of baby Bonnie even faster and foisted their care onto Nille. Their dad was worse! He bonded with the person he did because he knew she'd be totally reliant on him, and he had kids because he wanted more people to control. Mom sometimes tried to stand up for the kids, but always quickly gave up and withdrew more or turned on them instead.

So! Nille stole her mom's jewelry, put Bonnie in a wheelbarrow and walked as far as she could. She ended up in Bambouche. She started working for a trio who fished and ran a shop/restaurant; she prepared the fish and washed dishes and other odd jobs, and she was allowed to bring Bonnie with her. Some people offered to take the two of them in, or babysit Bonnie, but she did not trust like that. So everyone just quietly patronized that shop a little extra so the trio could afford to do things like say "oh no I bought this huge bag of the wrong kind of rice, can't just serve a different kind, but I don't want it, guess I'll throw it away unless you could use it..?"

Eventually she started trusting her neighbors enough to directly accept leftovers and hand-me-downs, let Bonnie play at their houses, etc. Right in time for her bipolar disorder to really hit! She tried so hard to keep forcing herself through the motions for Bonnie, but one day she went into work manically ranting about how she was going to destroy Bonnie's life just like her parents did hers and her bosses were like woah there! They closed shop for the day to focus on checking on Bonnie and making sure they had babysitting arranged, finding Nille a therapist, and reassuring Nille that Bonnie was safe, and everyone will help make sure that Bonnie stays safe, and she can get help too so she can keep being a great gaurdian.

By pre-canon she is on anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers and knows a fuckton of coping mechanisms! She fishes now and sells her catches herself, and while she works Bonnie goes to school and runs around the village with the other kids and pesters travelers for stories and whatnot.

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I don't have super solid headcanons for Siffrin's family yet because it makes me soo sad to imagine their family missing them or not-missing them or obliterated. So I'm trying to let myself just leave it open so I can practice the skill of "deciding on worldbuilding facts as they become relevant to your story instead of typing out an entire bible first". But let's say he had three parents and two siblings, which is pretty standard for the island, and lots of cousins and family friends. Someone or other is holding a huge cookout at least twice a week, and, and Siffrin was a really kind-but-mischievious older sibling and, bwahhhh 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

He sailed off for a couple hours at age 15 because his baba's super strict about everyone trying a bite of every food every time, yes even if you're sure you hate it it's important to be a good example for the younger kids and who knows maybe you'll like it this time! So Siffrin ran off to prove that he was basically an adult and not actually beholden to their rules, and they should appreciate his presence and take him seriously instead of treating him like a clueless baby.

:(