#and we're in the waiting room and its totally fine. shes not barking or jumping or anything just sitting politely between my feet

[snowflakeb0ttles]

god i hate when people are rude about penny 💥

[iraniq]

We're All Mad Here, Its Not a Competition!

I was peacefuly sleeping when I suddenly felt something wet on my naked belly. When I opened my eyes I saw my husband licking it and our 2 girls were laughing hysterical. I am sure this was theirs idea. After all the older is the daughter of an outcast /as he likes to call himself/ musician and the younger is the offspring of the Cloun Prince himself. They both got the pretty genes – both dark haired with the most amazing blue eyes, and by pretty I also mean crazy. He lied on the top of me and whisperd “good morning” in my ear.

-        It’s too early Madness! Besides that it’s your turn to take the monsters out. - they laughed again. 

-        Come on doll, let Daddy kiss you! - to which the girls brust out laughing even more. Which led to the younger one to fell out of bed. She got up, crying of laughter.

-        I hope you keep praying the next one to be a boy.

-        I’d rather try then pray! - he winked at me.

-        Jesus …

-        God’s busy, Love, may I help you?

-        Breakfast! - they bother screamed.

-        I have chocolates for you in my bag. – he said, waving in the bag’s direction, keeping his hungry eyes on me.

-        Madness, you can’t feed them on chocolates! – he frowned his eyebrows -  … ok I fed them on sweets too, but …

-        These are vegan chocolates!

-        Fine!

The older one is 11, she recently dyed her hair ombre, like Jared’s before. The baby is almost 5, we dyed a piece of her hair green, so she could match her father. She was at first confused, when her big sis told her Jared isn’t her father, she cried all the way to the shooting platform. But when she saw him for first time last night, green haired, pale makeup, no eyebrows and red lipstick, she was totally in love. She doesn’t even waited for him to call her; she jumped in his arms, and refused to let go. 

The girls showed up again, chewing on chocolate. Almost at the end. The younger one came to the bed, “I don’t want, it’s bad!” she yelled while throwing the chocolate at her father.

-        She ment “it’s not sweet”.

-        Mother’s orders. – he purred at them.

-        Hey! Not fair, these are yours! - “how dare he!”.

Someone knocked on the dor. J got up and went to open, grabbing the babay. She held her hands in his face, for him to lick the chocolate, as she didn’t like the lack of sweetness in it.

-        Hi ... come in. - tall blond woman followed him inside. - These are my treasures. That’s Erma - he said, squeezing the baby. - Niq and my angel wife.

-        Hi, am Margot. - she waved, shining a smile. 

-        “Hi i am Margot” - Niq mimick her, - “Hi ... i am Margot.” - she said in a zombie manner, winking and the baby laughed. – You only miss the blue scarf!

-        Hi, Alma! - I said with deviliah grin. J looked at me, knowing exactly what I just quioted.

She smiled a little disturbed.

-        They are waiting for us, some urgent meeting.

-        Sweerheart, tell them this movie is either for my husband, or for their death

She smiled again and shaked her head “goodbye” heading the door.

-        Will you please stop. - it was Jared speaking now. 

-        I can’t help myself. – I said with innocent face, waving my hands in surrender.

-        Well I don’t care, you have to manage!

-        Worry not dad, they will never suspect the innocent children. – Niq said writing “SOA” in the air.

-        No more movies for you anymore!

-        Oh, no no. - Em said putting her hands in the air and started laughing.

-        That’s my girl. - The Joker said, kissed his daughters “goodbye” and left.

-        Slick trick mom!

-        Thank you monster!

-        Sweet!

-        Come on, beasts, I’ll byu you real sweets! - I changed in leather leggings and marron shirt and we went out.

2 hours later I was at the movie set, chilling my feet in a tiny, custom made pool.

-        Jonny, gald to see you keeping my Queen happy! - he jumped over the cold touch on his shoulder. - How’s the bath, Pumpkin?

-        Perfect, wanna see my pretty feet?

-        Mmm … The Nameles City. Daddy likes!

-        Wanna snap it? - I wasn’t even finished when Niq took his phone and made the picture.

-        Me! 

-        I’ll write the caption and you will press the button.

-        Ok.

I love when the girls are plotting together!

-        Where is your God now, sweet cheeks? - J purred, brushing his nose agains mine.

-        Everytime I died, I crossed over, and little more of the Master came back with me!

-        Mmmm … - “damn this sound”!

-        Also I put some salt in my tiny see.

-        Salt, gathered from the tears of thousand angels.

-        Ha! - “guess who’s tagging along” 

-        Are you finished with each other? – Niq was already fed up with our shit - Me and the baby are hungry…

-        But you just ate! - I yelled disappointed. I was fat as a child and everyone were laughing at me, letting my children suffer the same, wasn’t gonna happen even if I have to burn the whole world ... twice!

-        … for crime, mother. Chill! Em, tell your dad how much we wanna see the world burn! - the baby unzipped her gold-purple bag and took out a batman stuffed toy and started shaking it, with a mad face.

-        Aww, my babies! - J yelles, pretending he is whipping a tear off his face.

-        Don’t forget they got their prerfect mother’s genes.

He looked at me, with the brightest smile he got and said in low voice.

-        I married well!

We staid there for couple of hours observing the film making. There was this scene where our beloved King was kicking Batman. The scene was a blast! He did very well, from the first shoot, but the victim, wasn’t as good as the Clown, so they had to try again. The second time was even better! After the director yelled “cut!” we stand still, applauding on our Prince, and he bowed at us. In the process he didn’t miss to “accidentally” show his naked chest. I just put my hand on my heart, apparently on the wrong side because Em sighed, and Niq fixed the position of my hand. He just laughed … hysterically.

It was couple of hours before the sunset, when the filming was done, they were gonna take 5h. break before continuing on filming. Past by rushed a familiar figure – Catwoman.

-        Hey, monster … - I whispered to Niq.

-        I saw, I am on it! – she sneaked behind the lady. She was all dressed up in black latex black suit, a whip for a tale, like the comic books. She was peacefully talking with Margot. Niq sneaked only inches away from her year. – Woof! – she barked at her; the poor woman jumped so high, she split her coffee all over Margot, almost tripped, when landed on the ground and yelled, like she was dying.

-        Her father’s daughter! – I proudly stated.

-        WTF?! … It’s not funny you know!

-        Hey, pussy cat! … Careful how you talk to my princess! – he waved his hand against her, petting the little monster’s head. – My good, good girl! – he said kissing her, leaving red lip prints on her cheeks. She smiled like the devil and came back to me.

-        I am proud! – the baby stated and handed her a dessert.

-        It’s for you, beast.

-        Yes, I was saving it for after midnight, but you earned it!

-        Aww, you are so cute …

-        Mother! Don’t! We cannot show weakness.

-        Yes, you are right! – I wiped the tears in my eyes, so discreet, no one noticed what happened.

The Joker was talking to his assistant, apparently she did something wrong, again. Poor creature, he was constantly yelling at her. His main assistant took a day of, personal matters, and now she was here, not knowing what to do, I was secretly helping her, but she was always managing to piss him off. No idea how.

He signaled Frost to come to him, he said something, then both of them looked at us, and then kept talking. In couple of minutes, Frost disappears, and The Clown Prince of Crime headed our direction.

-        Baby girl, Daddy is preparing a sweet surprise for you! – “the purring again, this man is killing me!”

-        For which one? – Niq asked.

-        Princess, I was talking to your mother! – he said piching the bridge of his nose.

-        Aaaa … then why don’t you say it like this! – he just let a sigh, and I chuckled.

-        Learn your names!

-        Pick one name for your pet, please, Mister!

-        Come on ladies, you can join my little … Charm?

-        Thank God! – I sighed in relief.

-        Thank god, we sleep in another room.

-        Shush! People here are not ok with the fact that little kids know where babied came from! – I rushed her to shut up.

-        Yeah, that’s why MTV’s most watched show is “Teen Mom”!

-        You are not gonna be teen mom, princess!

-        Me?

-        You too, peach! No!

-        Ugh, you are so boring!

-        Yes! I am not ok, with my babies, having babies of their own! It’s your mother’s job! – as he said this he squeezed my as.

-        Hey!

-        Get a room!

-        Oh my God! … Em! You are officially heading adulthood now!

-        If you are ready, Daddy will take you all tree princesses to a ride!

The purple Lamborghini was delivered just in time, by Frost, so we can all get in.

We settled in. Niq sat in me, we both buckled up with the seat belt. Em sat in her father’s lap, she is still small enough to fit without bothering him while driving. He took a little shaped object from his coat, and handed it to me.

-        To match me Doll!

A opened it, and it was a lipstick, the same like his, but brand new.

-        Did you stole it?

-        Borrow! I borrowed it, learn the damn language woman!

-        Fine, fine! Breathe!

He inhale some air, and breathed out loudly, which sounded more like a roar. The girls giggled. He buckled up his seat belt too, fixing the little beast in his hands.

-        Stay still darling!

-        Why you call mom baby girl, but not us?

-        Why … why? Well … because your sweet ass mommy is a bigger baby then you are!

-        What’s “sweet ass”?

-        Grown up stuff! – I rushed to answer … “He better not explain this 5 years old daughter, or I’ll kill him!”

-        This … yes, it’s grown up thing, but you are a big girl, aren’t you?

-        I am 5!

-        Yes, cupcake, you are! So … you know how old ladies have this ugly butts.

-        Yes …

-        And your mom have a butt like a … - he made a circle like shape with his hands, figuring out what to say, so it won’t sound dirty.

-        Yes, I know it’s this shape, I have seen mom’s but! – the baby blurred out.

-        Aw, you have … so this is “sweet ass”, when it’s having this shape!

-        Like the Catwoman?

-        Aww … touché! – Niq laughed. And I rolled my eyes.

-        No! Shush, princess. No cupcake, the Catwoman is old, and her clothes make her ass looked like this, mommy had the sweet ass even when she’s naked.

-        Oh … you’ve seen mom naked

-        Jesus …

-        I told ya he is busy Baby Girl, Daddy’s here, if you need something.

-        Yes, I need you to change the subject! Please …

-        So, if you have seen mommy naked, why there isn’t any baby?

-        There isn’t any baby, for fuck’s sake!

-        We know, mom, chill!

-        Well don’t “chill” me! You were the one who told your 4 years old sister where babies come from. She was scared to pee for days.

-        Shush! – he raised his voice, covering the baby’s ears!

-        Well, you were very good at explaining it to me, but very awkward too, so I figured it out I’d be better at explaining her ... as a child to child!

-        Yeah you did well …

-        We're all Mad here, darling its not a competition … – J started …

-        You say so …

-        Shush girls, Daddy’s gonna get a headache! – he said dramatically massaging his temple.

-        Ha! The next time you might learn when to shut up!

-        Don’t talk to me like this woman! – he yelled and the girls froze.

-        Listen … - I was already pissed – you can wave your pathetic … “toy” somewhere else, if you want to be bitching orders, go to your blond slut, and if you freaking dare to raise your voice on me again, your mother will be with a child less! Got it!

He blinked several times, surprised of my reaction, I am mostly peaceful person, sometimes sarcastic and rude, but I barely raise my voice, never yelling, but for my kids, I’ll cross all lines!

-        Listen, Baby Girl … - he was calm now, almost whispering in low voice - … Daddy didn’t meant to hurt your feelings.

-        Go on … - the girls were silent as the death.

-        Forgive me Little One!

-        Fine … because I can’t resist your smile.

He smiled again! A huge grin, tilting his head left and right.

-        Put on the lipstick girls, and put a smile on these faces! … Any last words.

-        Please don’t make me believe …

-        Believe … ?

-        That I can walk on water … I prefer being alive! – he just smiled, this huge creepy but at the same time sexy smile, licking his lips; no answer. The girls stared at each other and giggled.

After we finished, me and the girls had the same devilish painted smile as the King himself! He started the car and hit the gas pedal. The Lamborghini literally flew ahead, the “Purple Lamborghini” song was pumping through the speakers, we were screaming, because he was driving way to fast. It wasn’t that scary, although we trusted our Madness. It was kinda scary, but mostly thrilling. At some point the road came to an end.

-        Madness … Madness … Building!

He swing the wheel, and the car slipped on the huge space, starting to drift in circle. He continued drifting around, we were all screaming in joy, the tires were starting to smoke, and the music was almost loud enough to muffle our screams. Almost! My nails were pinned to the leather of the seat, and Niq was squeezing the life out of me. Only Em and The Prince were heaving fun, she was with her eyes closed, enjoying the ride.

-        Oh my god!

-        What?

-        Look … - Margot pointed at the purple spinning car, smoke and loud music were the only thing visible now!

-        And? – Will asked.

-        It’s him!

-        I know, that’s Mister J’s car … - he said with sarcasm.

-        No, I mean yes, but he is there with them …

-        The kids?

-        Yes …

-        What the fuck is wrong with him! Is this man mad?

-        Yes, he is! – Jim a.k.a. “Frost” answered with rather cold voice.

-        Yes, I can see this, but we are talking children there! I am calling …

-        Who? – Margot screamed.

-        … someone! The Director, the security …

-        Oh, you don’t want to do this man. – Jim continues.

-        Why, because he will keep on pranking me? I am not scared of him!

-        No, I mean, he is nuts, but the rest are mad, like seriously mad, especially his wife, she can kill you only with a glance. And the kids … I am sure the Devil is afraid of them too, she trained them, she is European, these people are dangerous. I mean it. Better not interfere in this, or pranking will be your least problem.

He said this with rather bitter, not like a threat, more like a warning. Will and Margot stayed silent and kept staring at the spinning car. At this point all of the cast and crew were at the parking loot, watching the insane show. After a few minutes he drove back, past them, spin the car one more time and stopped in front of them. The car door opened. Niq jumped out, Em followed form the opposite side of the car.

-        Fuck! I want again! – the monster cheered.

-        After I die please … - I crawl on 4 legs out of the car. – Did someone saw my insides?

-        You puke them somewhere at the turns.

-        I know … - I was still sitting on 4 legs, everything was spinning, I think I was ready to puke, when I suddenly felt a loud and heavy slap on my ass, I almost kissed the ground.

-        Mmmrrrr … how I love this tight ass of yours! – he purred in my ear, helping me get up. I felt like a toy in his hands. He hugged me tight, preventing me from falling again. But in the same time his other hand was squeezing my butt. I chuckled.

-        Shush! – he ordered.

-        Yes, sir! – I mumbled back.

The crew gathered around and asked the girls if they were all right. They said it was fun, sadly over. They proudly showed their shaking hands. “Excitement overload”- they said. Some of the team mates yelled at J, about how reckless this was, how dangerous, with the kids inside the car. He doesn’t even bother to listen, just unbuttoned his shirt even more, and walked past them. I  hissed at them, apparently louder then I expected because they stepped back, and shut up.

-        Yeah, you are not that brave now … fight me, losers. – I mumbled, everything was still a blur, I felt like I was drunk. – You all suck and you know it! You can’t even act properly in your damn movie … Should I remind you because of whom people wanted, noo they demanded an extended cut? Not you “heroes”! – I made air quotes at heroes. And J held my waist to keep me standing. They were all silent. – Take me love, my body is ready. You can fuck me if you want, I don’t care – “what did I just said?”- no … scratch this last one, I care … - I hugged him and licked his face. – take me now!

-        You are yelling, mom!

-        Oh …

-        Don’t listen to her, Baby Girl. Daddy’s happy.

-        Maybe he will be more … after he saves me from the terror of my panties! – I whispered in his ear.

-        I’ll also save you from your sanity! – he smiled and carried me to his room. Still in costume and character.

We took a shower and were fast in bed. It was a long and crazy day. Better than we hoped. We wanted to visit The Clown at work for quite a while. It was amazing and thrilling. His acting skills are indeed beyond reason. We were all in pajamas, well the kids. I put on one of Madness’s shirts, not even bothered to see which one. My head was still spinning. I lied in the middle. The girls were on my left. Snuggling in the huge blanket. It was a cool night. My King dropped himself on the right side. Sliding me to himself, he covered my face with rather gentle kisses. Unlike out little adventure at the elevator. We send the kids up the stairs. He almost fucked me in there, not that I complained of what he did. The only thing I was mad about is that I didn’t put a dress. It would’ve been a lot better in the small moving room, enough time till the 5-th floor.

-        How’s my baby? – he slip his hand under my shirt, to tickle my belly.

-        There’s no baby here!

-        Say Princess, does your mother talks to the cups again?

-        Nope, no cups, for now! … If your are gonna put one there tho, better tell us now, before we find the perfect sleeping positions!

-        We leave?

-        No my little peach, Daddy want’s to cuddle with all of his princesses … what King would I  be without you?

We all received a “good night” kiss and fell asleep!

_______________________________

@diyunho @rhina988 @nikkitasevoli @auntiemama1 @wolfgirl1074 @lovermrjoker @live-for-me-puddin