#and under these fuckass circumstances i won't be. because i'm not getting this fuckass degree because i keep getting stripped of
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i don't even hate research i think this house my parents just deplete me
#like you're gonna bring me into existence and then berate me for being hurt and struggling and then struggling more when you keep#yelling at me and simultaneously telling me i should be able to do everything and i have it so good And listing off all my mistakes and#character defects and saying it's all my fault and also i make you so stressed you're gonna kill yourself. and also that i should leave if#this is not good enough for me#how am i supposed to react. with joy and confidence? how the fuck am i supposed to conjure up power like for real from where#I'm very sad about your abusive marriage mom. very sorry for you i ache every minute of every day#but since. get this#i am your child. since i am your child i am not responsible for you... rather it's been the other way around for a lot of my life#so if me being insecure and unhappy makes you unhappy maybe stop screaming in my face that it's my fault#(in addition to your unhappiness which is also my fault). because it has not made me a better person or easier to handle for the last like#decade. just a suggestion though i'm not an expert#and under these fuckass circumstances i won't be. because i'm not getting this fuckass degree because i keep getting stripped of#what i could be#but i'm climbing out on god i'm climbing out right now#i think. i'll try#kata.txt
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