#and uhh. i think i'll be skipping the re-release of the third one lmao.

[witchern]

just got done seeing the re-release of sam raimi's spider-man on the big screen and now y'all are gonna hear my thoughts whether you like it or not:

the danny elfman music kicked on during the opening credits and i had full-body goosebumps before the marvel logo even came up on screen because i'm a fucking loser.

speaking of opening credits, remember when movies used to have those? i miss it. bring them back.

the upside-down kiss remains the greatest cinematic kiss of all time. don't argue with me when i'm right.

the setup and repetition of "don't tell harry." fantastique.

the cinematographyyyy. bitch. the way the camera follows spider-man swinging through traffic, up and around buildings, across the city…..i just don't get the same feeling of movement in either of the reboots. they're too clean. they're like iphone commercials. they're gross.

speaking of iphones, during the festival scene in times square there was a billboard ad for cingular and i thought about how i used to have a cingular phone and i almost committed suicide in the theater. i'm so old.

everyone calls her "aunt may" – including norman osborn, a grown-ass man. 'twas adorable.

"and i know i'm not your father—" "then stop pretending to be!" maybe i WILL kill myself in this alamo drafthouse.

watching this made me miss having regular-degular goons and scumbags in comic book movies. i'm tired of the "i want to rule the world, i want all the power" schtick. rob a bank. hijack a train. kidnap the mayor. have fun with it. you're in a comic book movie, for fuck's sake.

the balance between campy fun superhero stuff and earnest, genuine emotion was better than i remembered – and one never came at the expense of the other.

jk simmons. nothing else to add here – i just wanna remind people that he fucking crushed this role and burned it down and nobody has been able to touch it since.

on a similar note: willem dafoe. he didn't just chew the scenery – he had a fucking feast. fuck, man. he's great.

unrelated to the film-making itself, but....what exactly is the military purpose of a glider where the pilot is completely exposed? and why did it already look like a halloween machine before osborn becomes the goblin? questions i ask.

anyway, i realize you could hand-wave a lot of this as me falling for the nostalgia of it all (which i absolutely am), but also...i dunno. there's an undercurrent of sincerity to this movie that i just don't really feel in comic book movies anymore. that's probably because the current spate of comic book movies aren't even really movies anymore – they're products. they're vacuum-sealed, rubber-stamped, climate-controlled products to sell you a disney+ subscription or whatever the fuck the warner bros equivalent is (is it max? i think it's max). and every movie has an ending setup that tries to sell you on the next product, and the next, and the next...

anyway. with this first spider-man, yes it's silly at times, but this movie embraces it, warts and all. there's a well-balanced mix of goofy dialogue ("are you in or are you out?" "it's you who's out, gobbie – out of your mind!") and heartfelt moments (i mean, do i even need to say it? "with great power comes great responsibility"). i know it's a hack thing to say "they don't make movies like they used to" but.....man, they REALLY don't make movies like they used to.