#and u keep thinking that way bc it's still easy and u tell yourself u arent a horrible person but youre still thinking that horrible way

[sapchats]

no one tells u that confronting the thoughts and beliefs u have bc they're just the thoughts and beliefs to be had is really hard actually

[nereidprinc3ss]

pretty little things

in which you can't keep hiding your stuffed animals from your boyfriend. spencer would like a formal introduction.

fluff! warnings/tags: gn!reader I think, newish established relationship, they're so cute, reader is still kinda shy around him, I'm really obsessed with this dynamic actually, implied intimacy if you decide to interpret it that way, kissing/maybe mildly suggestive a/n: this is dedicated to my friends @parfaitblogs and @gublersg1rl bc in another universe we are actually just three jellycat plushies on someone's bed which is where the inspo for this little thing came from. and thank u willow for naming your fox. ok bye love u hope u enjoy !! :D

The first time you’d shown Spencer your room, and the handful of times he’s been in it since, you very intentionally hid your stuffed animals underneath the bed. After all, you’re an adult. You have a grown up job. And you don’t need him thinking you’re some kind of freak this early into the relationship. You like him too much. 

Today, however—you didn’t have any warning. He comes over unannounced, which is all well and good, until you bring him to your bedroom so he can sit on the bed while you change from work clothes into something comfier for movie night. As soon as you open the bedroom door, you see them, lined up neatly by your pillow, and you know it’s too late. 

“Uh…”

Spencer runs into your back and takes it as an excuse to settle his hands on your hips as he peers over your shoulder. 

“What?”

You slip out of his easy hold and skitter to your bed, practically throwing yourself on the mattress and sitting unnaturally as the little beaded eyes of your friends dig into your back. Even your brightest smile doesn’t distract Spencer. He’s like a bloodhound for the truth. At least, that’s the sense you’re beginning to get. 

“What are you doing?” He tries again, eyes narrowed and closing the door carefully behind him. 

“Nothing!”

The urgency with which you say it has his eyebrows raising. Obviously delighted by the embarrassing secret he’s sure to uncover, he approaches. You lean back further even as he towers over you until you’re almost on your back and he’s folded over you, menacingly (and dizzyingly) close. This sort of position is still new-ish and has your heart pounding, even if it’s entirely playful and ostensibly innocent. 

“Nothing? Are you sure?”

You nod, still shying away from him into the pile of pillows. Without looking he reaches under you and pulls out your pink bunny. You squeak and hide your face. 

“What is this?” He laughs, and you yank it away, sitting up so he’s forced to give you some breathing room. The bunny is cradled protectively in your arms, though you try to hold it a bit more casually when you notice. 

“I said it’s nothing.”

“What about the other two behind you? The fox and the… what is that? A deer?”

“No—”

“I didn’t even know they made deer stuffed animals—”

“Spencer, stop!”

He does, at the desperate tone of voice and the way you’re still hiding from him. 

“No, no! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tease you. Don’t be embarrassed. I’m sorry.”

As usual he’s over apologetic, now sitting knee to knee with you on the mattress and leaning down to try and catch your eye. You huff and grant him some eye contact just so he doesn’t go over the edge with worry. 

“But it’s embarrassing.”

“No, it’s really not,” he laughs. “It’s cute. I can’t believe you’ve been—what, hiding them from me? This whole time? That’s like not telling me you have kids.”

“It is not like that.”

“Hm. I don’t know, I think you should probably introduce me.”

You give him a look, letting your head fall to your shoulder. “Spencer.”

“I’m serious. I’m going to be apart of their lives now. You can’t keep shoving them under the bed every time I stay the night.”

This nerd is going to be the death of you. 

Eventually, you groan reluctantly. 

“Fine. Okay, um—this one is… well—her name is Bunny. It’s not… very creative, but it’s—that’s just her name, okay?”

Spencer doesn’t react to your unjustified defensiveness—only grabs your bunny’s round little pink paw and shakes. “Enchanted.”

“Shut up.” Your face is so hot as you bury your smile and set Bunny aside, making sure she’s comfortable against the pillow before bringing out your deer. Spencer doesn’t have the shit-eating grin you were partially expecting when you glance up at him from beneath your lashes—he’s smiling, but it’s so soft. A little twisted, like he’s holding back the full extent of it for your sake. But you wouldn’t mind it at full power. It’s like he’s hiding the sun in a saucepan and the lid’s not on quite right. And he’s looking right at you. Like you’re the source of all his joy. 

A moment passes. You clear your throat and look back down. “Um—this is Bambi. ’Cause—you know.”

“I do,” Spencer agrees genially, nodding as if this were a normal conversation. “Kind of a dark thing to name your deer, though.”

“You’re judging,” you accuse balefully. He chuckles and his hand finds your knee, rubbing apologetically. 

“I’m not, I’m not! I take it back. I retract it. Continue, please.”

For a moment you only pout, but it doesn’t deter him—he simply looks at you expectantly, and now those syrupy eyes come with the added bonus of his hand on your leg. Fine. He wins. But not without a deep, tortured sigh from you while you’re grabbing your fox that makes the corner of his mouth twitch up. 

“This one is…”

The name dies on your tongue, too ridiculous to be said out loud. 

“Tell me,” Spencer pleads in that gentle voice and with those big eyes that you’d consider burning him at the stake for because that look on his face has to be witchcraft. 

“Okay but you can’t laugh,” you insist in one quick breath, giving him a serious look that he can only partially reciprocate. 

“No laughing.”

“It’s… Mr. Cuddles.”Spencer bites the inside of his cheek to keep his promise. You melt inside both from embarrassment and from the way it only further defines an already superbly sculpted bone structure. “Do not.”

Spencer scoffs at your warning. “Don’t what? I’m behaving.”

“Don’t make fun of Mr. Cuddles!”

“Does it look like I’m making fun of him?”

“Her.”

“What?”

“Her. Mr. Cuddles is a girl.”

“I see… can you explain that to me?”

“If a human person said I am a girl and I would like you to call me Mister, would you question that? Would you ask them to explain it to you?”

“I guess not.”

“Exactly. Don’t be rude.”The way Spencer is looking at you now, eyes so clear and still so full of affection, like you’ve got some sort of heavenly spotlight trained on you, lips parted as if to say something but still silent, has you forgetting your momentary confidence. You shrink. “What?”

“I just… you’re amazing.” You throw Mr. Cuddles at his chest and fall into your pile of pillows with a groan. Spencer only continues rubbing your leg. It’s very nice, actually. He’s gentle. And patient. “You don’t believe me?”

“I don’t believe you came to this conclusion just because I introduced you to my stuffed animals.”

“Not solely because of that. There are a lot of contributing factors. I mean, the stuffed animal thing helped.”

“It’s embarrassing,” you insist for the umpteenth time. 

“It’s adorable.”

Spencer pushes pillows aside and lies next to you so you’re eye to eye. It’s nice how his presence isn’t exhausting the way people sometimes are. He’s easy to exist with. He makes you enjoy existing a little more than usual. Even now. 

You raise your eyebrows and speak, cheek squished against fabric. “I’m a serious adult.”

“I know you are,” he assures with a solemn nod. 

Your eyes narrow ever so slightly. 

“Okay… well… don’t go forgetting that. I’m fun but I can also be not fun.”

“I’d love to see that.”

“No you wouldn’t. You would hate it. You’d be so scared.”

Spencer gives up on holding back a smile and moves his hand to tuck hair behind your ear. 

“You’re right. I’m already terrified. The anticipation… it’s killing me, you know?”

You’re giggling as you roll over on top of him and he roots his hand in your hair, pulling you in for a long, smiley kiss like he knew it was coming. Only when he blindly throws your stuffed friends from the bed do you pull away—just by an inch or so. 

“No respect,” you scold playfully. He kisses you again, tangling your legs and hands wandering. 

“Can I apologize later?”

You’re good with that. 

[noellefan101]

Quiet Love

Characters: Xiao, Heizou, Cyno, Wanderer, Albedo x mute!reader

Summary: You're mute, and cant talk? not a problem for your partner, they can find other ways to communicate, and honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

Warnings: mute reader, kissing, most of them dont know sign language bc i said so and it makes this more interesting, idk man

Note: i feel like i accidentally made both the char and reader mute in some of them, I've tried to fix it though, so im sorry for that (and i also messed up some other shit im just missing brain cells n´ down bad) -love you

Xiao

Whom talks with you in touches and small notes.

He had seen no problem in your absence of speaking, he likes the quiet nights that you shared with him. The sounds of nature taking over your ears, it was nice, just standing beside you and looking out to the views of Liyue. he reaches out to hold your hand, though still not accustomed to the feeling, he does it anyway. and as his hand lightly squeezes yours, he feels your own squeezing his back, as if saying 'I love you'. your quiet conversations are sweet and only for you two to know about.

He leaves notes scattered around, as you do too. ones with little messages of your schedule and plans. ones written with more love than any other person could comprehend. notes shared between you and him. notes saying 'i loved that dish, could we make it again' and a reply under, 'of course, i'll do anything for you'. it seems simple and dumb, but a nice way to talk to each other anyway.

Heizou

Who likes when you just listen to him, and let him do anything he kind of wants to since you can't talk back, but he also loves when you just draw your thoughts on paper.

He loves to talk, but mostly loves when he gets to talk to you since you always listen to him so closely. he loves when he can just drag you to to places, but of course he's nice about it (kind of) and ask you if you wanna go to that new ramen shop that opened in the outskirts of Inazuma City, which he kind of answers for you because of course you do! in which you smile at (smile at him or else...)

He likes your little drawings, and especially when its a little puzzle he has to solve so he can understand what you're saying and loves to guess wrong purpose so he can get a reaction out of you. and even has a special sketchbook, that he keeps on him at all times. he also sometimes goes trough it and just smiles at all your little drawings. remembering the time that you drew it, and all the cute little faces you made when he teased you for how bad it looked.

Cyno

Who helps you talk with small drawings in the sand and learned sign language so he could communicate with you properly.

He's often out in the desert, and from time to time takes you with him. which makes it easy to express yourself when all you need is a stick, sometimes his spear if he lets you, and sand which is already in front of you at all times. the little drawings that symbol your love, so many hearts all over the sand it would be hard to count how many times you drew them. he gave you his cape at night when you were extra cold? you drew a heart around his feet as a 'thank u, i love you', in which he cutely (your words) responded with, "i love you too" right after.

Whom learned sign language just because he felt like you were left out a little, but also learned the wrong one at first so you had to help him and learn him some signs as well. but the first thing you learned him was how to say "i love you", but didn't tell him what it meant so you could do it without him noticing just for a little while longer.

Wanderer

Who hates being touched, but makes you touch his shoulder when you need something and gifts you a book so you can write to him when needed

He, despite hating when people touch him, he cant think of many other ways you could get his attention, so he wants you to touch him when you need him. it doesn't matter if he had an extra bad day, its the best way to get his attention, so touch him all you want. it is you after all, the love of his life, he would let you do whatever you wanted to do, just tap his shoulder and give him a few signs or point at something, anything you want you'll get.

Others would say that he would be annoyed at you for pushing a book up to his face every hour or so, but he surprisingly he doesn't get annoyed at all and "tolerates" you pretty well. in fact he loves when you just stand there and write in your little book, he thinks its adorable when you glare at him as a sign to wait for you to finish.

Albedo

Who is normally very quiet but when he's with you he loves to talk, but of course, he loves the times when it's just you and him sitting together in silence

He could be seen as quite shy if you didnt know him well, but when around you he was the complete opposite, talking about everything he did that day, was currently doing, what plans he had ext. he loves when you just listen to him, but if you ever tried pointing at smt to ask like yk 'whats this?' he would be overjoyed and you wouldn't be able to make him shut up for hours about that one thing.

He looked at you when you had put your hand in front of his sketchbook, you looked at him sweetly before kissing his cheek, catching him by surprise. he put down his sketchbook and kissed you back on your forehead. it was just a quiet moment between you two and you wouldn't have it any other way.

thx for reading i hope your day went/goes well, luv ya-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[wolfiesmoon]

But... there's only one bed! (WB edition)

umemiya, sakura, suo, kaji x gn!reader

you're on vacation with him, but uh oh, looks like your bedroom only has ONE bed, you know what that means😘 (barely proofread btw)

look at me reusing fic concepts because i'm a lazy btch (and proud), also don't expect this to be the last time you see this fic concept (let's just say i'm cooking some things up) also i do have a longer less silly wind breaker fic in the works dont u worry guys💋

ALSO I COULD HAVE SWORN UMEMIYAS SURNAME WAS SPELT LIKE UNEMIYA WHAT???? i got hit by the mandela effect

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 Umemiya Hajime

he's, like, a little too casual about it tbh

"Oh, looks like we'll be sharing a bed. Don't worry, I don't snore!" he smiles at you like an innocent child

you're not even sure if he views this the same way you do, is it kinda like sleeping with a sibling to him?

kinda bums you out since he's your crush and all...🤕

he keeps on wondering why you look kind of down for the rest of the day but you assure him it's nothing

(he makes sure to get you ice cream as a cheer-up gift anyways)

DONT WORRY THO, when it actually comes time to sleep he gets cold feet

in a "oh my god i'm suddenly rethinking this entire up until now platonic relationship" kind of way

"What's wrong? You don't snore, so what's the hold-up?" you decided to tease him using his own words, resting your cheek in your hand and smirking at him

(on the inside you're freaking out at your boldness)

you might as well have hit him with a brick because he "suddenly remembers he forgot something in the bathroom" and has to leave for a few minutes to cool down

you do end up sleeping on the same bed but neither of you can really fall asleep, you know 😁

the friendship never feels the same after that, but that's a good thing, right?

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 Suo Hayato

"Oh, that's quite the surprise." he says with that signature smile of his, not looking bothered at all

and honestly, you wish you could say the same for yourself

you're sure that you probably look flustered in one way or another right now

(and suo being suo can definitely tell)

"Would you like to talk to the hotel staff and request another room?" he asks innocently as if he's not enjoying himself

you'd like to say you don't get flustered as often as Sakura but when Suo's involved all that kinda goes out the window because you like like him

"No, it's fine... But it's just because I don't want to trouble the staff, though." you're lying so hard rn btw

you just want to have your main character moment and sleep on the same bed as your crush and who could blame you???

"I see, you're as considerate as ever." he says calmly

WAAAY later, when the lights are already off and both of you are lying on the bed, facing away from eachother bc you're too embarrased to even breathe in the same direction as him rn😥

"You just wanted to sleep on the same bed as me, didn't you?" he asks all of a sudden and it makes you jump

you pretend to be asleep tho bc there's NO WAY you're actually answering that

"You're easy to read. It would be a bad thing in a fight, but I still like that about you."

you're glad the lights are off because you're probably making the silliest embarrased face rn

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 Kaji Ren

he nearly splits his lollipop stick in half when he sees a singular bed

initially you'd be inclined to think he's really REALLY mad considering his red face and all, but you get the feeling that he isn't all that mad after all

he turns to you and curtly says he's getting another room but before he can leave you grab his arm and drag him inside the room

"This room is completely fine, what's wrong with it?" you smile at him innocently, knowing damn well there's nothing innocent behind your words

you're getting him to sleep next to you no matter what muehehehe😈

he wants to say something back to you and you can tell he does but he just puts his headphones on and clicks his tongue instead, his way of begrudgingly agreeing to stay

mission accomplished

later, when it's time for bed, he tries to make you sleep on the bed and sleep on the floor himself but again, you're not gonna let him

he gives up surprisingly quick and falls asleep facing away from you (can't reveal the fact he's blushing hehe)

OH AND ALSO, you'd better not bring up the fact he woke up with his arms around you or you're really gonna get it😡

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 Sakura Haruka

faints and gets taken to hospital bc his head hit the floor a little too hard

ok no i'm sorry, let's be a little less silly for a just a moment🤕

he nearly faints but manages to not do that in front of you (he must stay strong!!!)

however, that doesn't mean he's faring well by any means

bro looks like steamed lobster 🦞

"Sakura?" you wave a hand in front of his face but he kinda seems unresponsive rn

he attempts to speak but all that comes out is a weird gurgling sound

and BAM now his nose is bleeding, and he didn't even need to get into a fight to get it that way

you really have that power on him💪

"S...Sakura? Seriously, are you okay?" you try to place a hand on his shoulder but he flinches away to the other side of the room

"I'LL SLEEP ON THE FLOOR." it comes out a lot less natural and a lot more choked out than he intended

you oblige his request for his own sanity and giggle to yourself about how cute he is when he's embarrased throughout the entire day

when bedtime arrives, you ask him if he's really fine with sleeping on the floor and he nods so hard you're worried his head's gonna fall off

so you begrudgingly let him ☹️

you should really be more than friends, though you're not sure if he can handle a confession considering he almost overheated just from the thought of sleeping on the same bed as you

[sinisteryanderescribe]

Hii i rlly like ur writing so could u write this?

Hanma and kazutora (seperate) with a gf that's also a valhalla member, but she's more to collecting info and pickpocketing certain things (a policemans walkie talkie to know if there are police near or something)

And she also attends meetings but keeps to herself most of the time. Also the other members are too scared to talk to her bc she always has a resting btch face, and most likely bc shes also the gf of their captains. But in reality if anyone were to talk to her she'd be the funniest and unhinged

A Soft touch in Valhalla

Charecters: Hanma Shuji / Kazutora hanemiya

Female reader

Genre: SFW, fluff, romance,

Warnings: slight possessive behaviour, mentions of trauma on kazutora’s side, slight explicit behaviour

Note : thank you so much dear! I hope this came out okey!

…………………………………………………………………………….

Hanma Shuji

Being in a dangerous gang for an average girl is very interesting indeed. Most would call you crazy for being involved in gang related activities but who knew you would find yourself dating the leader of one of the biggest and violent gangs in Tokyo Japan.

It was your boyfriend’s idea really, with his constant nagging for you to join him and be by his side, helping him with “collecting” some information or using your “gym stealth” to good use.

But really it was mostly an excuse to have you sit on his lap every meeting with a hand on your thigh to keep you from getting up no matter how much you complain to him about it. This man loves to tease and squeeze the flesh of your plump thighs.

ESPECIALLY if it’s in front of the members of his gang, it’s more of a sign of possession, warning them if they try anything funny, there will be consequences…..

It also may be another reason to show you off to kisaki, a mocking way of telling him how he “can’t get any bitches” but anyways he managed to convince kisaki to let you join. Much to his dismay Kisaki was pretty impressed by your performances.

You have a strong sense of humour, but you tend to show it in subtle ways. Hanma appreciates that you can understand him without words and has found it really easy to communicate with you. You two share a special connection, but also a quiet intensity that few others understand.

When it comes to your relationship with the other gang members, you keep most of them at arm's length. But that doesn't mean you aren't aware of their comings and goings. They definitely know they should be careful around you.

Seeing what happened to the last guy that disrespected you…..definitely taught them a lesson not to mess with anything that belongs to their leader. Yet again you still gave him some home made cookies and muffins after he apologised.

The members have a lot of respect for you. They may find your stoic exterior intimidating, but your strong and confident nature commanded respect. They know you're not someone to be crossed, but they also know that you're a valuable member of Valhalla. It sometimes upsets you how they see you as someone to fear (hanna might have something to do with it) but you try your best to use your baking as a way to make them less tense.

Hanma even reassured you of that.

"The rest of the gang members always know to watch their backs doll. You're skillful and the information you gather helps the gang stay a step ahead of their rivals ;your ability to steal important items has saved us many times. No need to worry doll face"

…………………………………………………………………………….

Kazutora Hanemiyu

It’s was quite a surprise to see Kazutora in a relationship due to his…past actions. Let alone have a girl be interested in him but some people would say they were glad. Since you would be able to control or calm him down whenever he’s on edge.

Despite the heavy demeanour you carry, you’re always open to have a nice conversation with the others, though it sometimes tends to be a challenge. (Your boyfriend’s piercing glares and menacing smiles whenever someone thinks to even come close to you doesn’t help either)

As Kazutora's girlfriend, you have developed a unique role within Valhalla. You are his trusted confidant and adviser; He shares private details about his plans and strategies with you.

He values your input. Your performances has made you a key member of the gang, and he relies on you for your advice and insights. While your responsibilities sometimes require you to keep a distance from him, you know that he will always be there when you need him.

You have developed a strong bond with both Kazutora. While you may often be overlooked, your place within Valhalla is irreplaceable.

Though life as a gang member may often be unpredictable and chaotic, one thing remains constant: your relationship with Kazutora. You have stood by each other's side through good times and bad, and have supported one another.

You have a deep and lasting bond with him knowing how his past often haunts him and gives him certain unpleasant episodes. So you always let him pull you closer whenever your around him.

Let him nuzzle your hair and neck, no matter how embarrassing it seems your sent and perfume relaxes his nerves. Also he always places small kisses on the flesh of your neck before meetings, (or rather if he’s feeling territorial he’ll bite down hard enough to leave a mark)

Kazutora's role and status within Valhalla have always made you an object of caution among the gang members. Whenever you attend meetings and gatherings, they tend to keep their distance from you. Some may even avoid eye contact with you completely, out of fear that you might lash out or react violently, given how your face is always stone cold.

Despite this cold and stoic look, you have always been friendly and welcoming whenever they approach you, and over time have built up a reputation for yourself as a welcoming and approachable figure within the gang.

However, while most of the members may be intimidated by your relationship with Kazutora, some might not. There might be those who try to form alliances with you and use your connection to Kazutora to their advantage.

Some members may not even notice you and think you're not there. Others might want to talk to you but are afraid to approach you. Overall, your relationship is a mixed bag of reactions within the gang. But regardless of the reactions, everyone knows not to mess with you, as you're someone who belongs to Kazutora.

Some cakes and snacks might change their perspective though so easing their minds with some heartwarming bakes and food would do the trick!

Look out for a jealous little kitty though…he might not like the attention you give to other men.

ESPECIALLY if it’s Hanma…

…………………………………………………………………………….

[subskz]

thoughts on free use with skz?

hmm i think chan, hyunjin, and felix might be into it the most!

channie wants to make himself useful to you in any way that he can, so ofc that extends to him letting you have him at any time and any place! that kind of devotion to your pleasure has channie written all over it~ he’d be so adorable abt it too, every time you sneak your hand under the waistband of his sweatpants out of nowhere, or grab hold of his ass and tell him to bend over, he reacts so timidly, like he doesn’t know exactly where you’re going w this. even more than the arousal he feels for what’s to come, it also just makes his heart race to know he’s wanted by you the point where you’ll take him at any time of day, sometimes multiple times a day. he’ll sit there trying his hardest not to squirm as you run your hands all over his body like you’re inspecting him to see if he’ll be of good use to you, feeling up every curve and muscle, pinching his nipples and squeezing his pecs and hips and thighs as if he’s a toy on display for you. he gets so red and stuttery, asking if he’s okay for you, promising he’ll do anything you want, whimpering so sweetly over every little way you tease his body, sometimes even yelping out when you stimulate an esp sensitive spot. he’s always so responsive and easy to fluster, that’s part of what makes it so much fun. it takes everything in him not to curl into himself and shy away from all the attention…even if he jumps and jolts and makes the most embarrassing noises, he wants to be obedient above all and let you have your way w him

he’d never forget to prep himself every day that ur free use agreement is in action! he takes it very seriously bc he just wants to make you happy, to hear you praise him for being such a good little toy, always ready to be played with <3 his stamina is also pretty good, you can ride him over and over again and he’ll keep pushing himself for you however many times you see fit, even when he’s completely spent and climaxed more times than his dizzy head can count. he’d also be more than willing to do the moving himself if you get tired and order him to satisfy you instead. he’s a natural at sevice topping, even if he doesn’t always last as long as he hopes to, he’ll let you drain every last drop of him and them some (or if you really wanna make good use of him, putting a cockring on him to keep him hard for you as long as you’d like 😽) i think his favorite thing would be when you’re reading or working or watching tv and you have him on his knees eating you out while you barely even pay attention to him. when he does manage to get an affectionate headpat or “good boy” out of you, it makes him beam with pride bc he knows that he earned it by doing well! he can’t help but let cute, happy lil noises slip out each time you do, feeding off your praises that he’s so starved for and working his mouth w even more enthusiasm no matter how tired he gets. he could stay like that for hours~

you would have to be careful though bc chan may push himself too far for you sometimes. so regular checkins to make sure he's still okay, or even sometimes deciding yourself that he can't go any further is important bc he doesn’t always do what’s best for him. you don't wanna hurt him after all ㅠ on off days, he may not ask it of you, but he needs to be spoiled rotten!! even if channie is willing to do almost anything to please you, he’s a softie at heart and loves nothing more than to be looked after in the gentlest of ways, esp after exerting himself so much for you during the week. he'd even offer to let you use him in the precious few hours he has for sleep, which you can honestly turn into an excuse to just fuck him to sleep so u can be sure he gets enough rest…tricking channie into being cared for 💗 he really gets off to the idea of being like an object of your pleasure, but his shyness interferes w that sometimes, making for the most endearing reactions ever. a meek lil “ah, wh-what are you doing?” when you pull his dick out, as if he’s not half-hard for you already. or a breathless giggle when you bring your fingers up to his plush lips in the middle of a conversation, acting sheepish for a moment before eagerly taking them into his mouth. or whining softly that it’s too embarrassing when you order him to stay shirtless for you at all times, only to get wildly turned on when he feels your eyes on him across the room. bc he’s so shy, this dynamic would definitely be limited to home and private spaces—even if the idea of you taking him in public, undressing him and wrecking him for everyone to see (maybe even joining in to use him too) makes his heart positively race. it’s more of an unattainable fantasy for him, but just having you whisper things in the middle of a scene that play into that fantasy is enough to satisfy that humiliating desire in him. esp if you mixed compliments in w it, telling him how everyone would want a chance at using his pretty body~ poor channie doesn’t have it easy being the world’s shyest exhibitionist ㅠ

hyunjin wants to completely belong to you. what thrills him the most abt free use is you having control over every little detail abt him bc he’s yours and you alone know what’s best for him, especially when it comes to his pleasure <3 on days where your dynamic is in action, he loves to let you choose what he wears, how he styles himself, even what he’s allowed to say and do (w certain limits ofc, hyune can still be a lil shy sometimes) he’s tried to obey one more than one occassion when you order him to stay completely undressed for you so you can take him at any moment, but even just walking around shirtless all day got him way too embarrassed and antsy ㅠ so he prefers you picking out his outfits for him, it feels more intimate, like a secret between you and him that he carries even when walking around in public. esp when it’s clothes that give you easy access to his body~ underwear that allows you to pull his dick out without having to remove it first, baggy sweaters that you can pull off of his torso w ease or slip your hands under to feel him up, short, dainty skirts that you can flip up to expose his underwear or unzip to make fall to his ankles when he least expects it, etc. he would absolutely wear a harness or loose shibari pattern underneath his clothes too ❤️‍🔥 he gets worked up extremely easily w you, just a few touches in the right places and he’s positively melting as if he’s the one seeking out pleasure instead of you. so needless to say, his sensitivty makes it very convenient for using him whenever the urge strikes hehe he’s always ready for you

i think hyune would fantasize a lot abt u sharing him w others, but realistically he may not actually wanna do it bc the hopeless romantic in him can't be overpowered, not even by his lust. he’s too devoted to you and he takes your relationship very seriously...we all know how he feels abt even hypothetical scenarios that involve looking at ppl other than ur partner 😭 he just wants to be your perfect doll tailored just for you. all that being said, the thought of being passed around between you and a group of others admittedly still excites him in a way he can’t explain. he may even shyly confess it to you one day so you can play into the fantasy a bit—get possessive over him, ask him why you’d ever let anyone have what belongs to you, degrade him for being such a whore that even you fucking him at all hours of the day isn’t enough to satiate him. he absolutely loves when you remind him who he belongs to. tell him that his dick is all he’s good for as you ride him until he’s cum more times than he can count, tell him that he’s molded to your shape when you peg him, tell him that he only exists for your pleasure when he gives you head. it’s intense, but it makes him absolutely crazy, he loves the possessiveness aspect of this dynamic the most. he wants to be covered w your marks at all times, all over his neck, his thighs, his stomach, his chest, like he’s a canvas for you to paint red and purple as a constant reminder that you own him. also…somnophilia 🙏 he’s already such a heavy sleeper so it makes for the perfect opportunity to incorporate it into the dynamic. when he falls asleep w that specific pair of shorts on to let u know anything goes, he’ll often wake up dazed n disoriented to find your mouth all over him, or that he’s deep inside of you just seconds away from climaxing, or with your fingers stretching him open to prepare him for your strap. and ofc his personal favorite, waking up to find his face coated w drool and juices as you grind down on it, using his perfect lips to your heart’s content. all the while, ur teasing him for being so ready to be used that he doesn’t even wake up to it, he just lies there and takes it all like he was made for <3

lix is a mix of both! he loves being of service to you, and he also just loves the idea of being owned by you. aside from physical touch, i think his favorite way to show love would be acts of service, so that makes free use right up his alley~ not to mention he seems like he’d have a pretty high sex drive…dont be fooled by his innocent looks! he’d be ready to go at any hour, even more so than hyunjin 😽 he’s like your sweet lil housecat who stays home all day looking pretty, cooking and baking, and waiting for you to give him affection whenever you see fit—sometimes, even seeking you out for it. with lixie i think on certain days he’d need to be allowed to initiate w you in this dynamic, bc he can be even more itching to go than you are and constantly wants to remind you that you can take him any time you want~ he leans into the role so naturally, you’d think he was waiting for smth like this his entire life hehe. aside from cooking and doing you lil favors, he loves to give you massages. not necessarily always in a sexual manner but they can turn that way pretty quickly. he works his little hands so well, even the most innocent touches can feel so sensual, and the satisfaction that comes from releasing all that tension in your body makes it very tempting to put your pretty boy to work in a different way. before he knows it he’s lying there w his tongue hanging out as you ride his face, pawing at your thighs like he’s continuing your massage~ he likes to wear a collar on free use days to let you know that anything goes, with a cute lil tag that says his name or smth cute like “kitty” or “plaything ♡” when you hear his bell jingling around the house, you know you’re in for a very fun day

he loves when you fuck him while he’s cooking!! it excites him like nothing else that you just have to take him right there and now, and like a good toy he has to be ready to service you. he likes it when you interrupt him when he’s in the middle of anything, honestly, it’s the most thrilling part of the dynamic to him and it makes him feel so proud when he’s able to be useful to you at any given moment, bc what you want is always more important than what he’s doing. lix would definitely be the type to wear a plug all day so he can be prepped any time you want to use him, one of those cute fluffy tail plugs to be exact. he’d be very into the catboy role 🥰 when he feels you tug on his tail w one hand as the other sneaks under his apron, his brain immediately turns to mush and he bends over the counter, not even bothering to hide his lil giggles of excitement or how he grinds back against you so eagerly, begging for you to take him. he tries his best to keep cooking for as long as he can as you’re fucking him and it’s so adorable to watch him fumble w the utensils and ingredients until eventually he’s just clawing uselessly at the counter and you have to stop him so he doesnt hurt himself and just slumps against it ): like hyune i think lix might have a fantasy of being passed around between you and a group of other ppl hehe…and unlike hyunjin he’d actually be willing to try it, as long as it’s smth you’d be into too! he’d definitely only want you to share him w your friends though, probably not strangers bc he still wants to feel a lil safe and secure abt it…he’s not quite that bold yet. the thought gets him so nervous and shy but wildly turned on at the same time, being doted on and touched and put to work by so many ppl at once would be like his own personal heaven~ he wouldn’t mind being roughed up either, as long as you guys are praising him and encouraging him the whole time for being such a good toy!! hearing all the coos and murmurs of approval as he’s being fucked senseless makes him happier than anything. it would also make him absolutely crazy if you talked abt him as if he wasn’t there through it all, just making comments amongst yourselves abt what a perfect little slut he is, how well you’ve trained him, how much he likes it when he’s filled in every possible way <3 you catch him smiling so dreamily every time your friends speak fondly of him bc he just feels so good satisfying so many ppl at once, he just wants to be useful! and he does admittedly bask in all the attention a lil bit, he can’t get enough of all the hands on him. he’s definitely the type to reach out for you and gaze straight up at you while someone else is ruining him bc he still wants to feel closest to you hehe

[da-rulah]

Hi! I’m new to ur acc bc I’m not on here a lot but I have a request..a uhm..sinful request 😀 do u think u can make a story (I’m a boomer at tumblr pls don’t come after me 😭) or smth abt the papas and their k!nks with the reader ? <3 I love ur confessional series btw !! 🖤

Aww thank you my lovely! I'm so glad you enjoyed Confessional! Your wish is my command...

18+, Minors DNI! For any and all genders.

Primo

Primo is a very respectful lover, and out of all of the Emeritus clan, the most vanilla.

But do not be mistaken... that doesn't mean he is just vanilla.

This man is a body worshipper. Every inch, every little bit of flesh he can kiss, suckle, nibble...

The man has a praise kink, but GIVING praise. He will constantly tell you how good you are, how soft you feel, how much he adores you, how good you make him feel.

Sensory deprivation. Not in a power play kind of way, in a "this will heighten your experience, cara mio," kind of way.

High heels. He just... loves you in them. The way they make your legs look longer, so pretty...

Scent kink. Man will be between your legs and taking the deepest breaths...

Cum eating. Cum swapping. Cumming on you. Cumming in you. Just CUM.

Secondo

Everyone thinks he's the filthiest little sadist, but I'm not sure he's the worst of the Papas...

Secondo is into voyeurism, and bonus points if he's watching you with another sibling of sin. (He especially loves it when you're both on your knees for him, sharing his dick)

And with his voyeurism kink, comes an exhibitionism kink. He'll let anyone watch, as long as you're into it too. And it's a strictly look, but do not touch what's his policy.

Bondage. Specifically, shibari. This man loves ropes, loves the pretty little harnesses he can put you into, strapping your limbs together to keep you pliable to him.

He doesn't mind some leather here and there too...

Pain. He likes to administer, likes to receive (sometimes...). Spanking and whips, but he's into some cock-stepping too.

With him, it's a fight for dominance. He'll growl at you and fight you back but he still takes the pain, likes the fight...

Claws. Down. His. Back.

Bite him. See what happens.

Terzo

Everything is a power play. Everything...

He's either completely dominant, or completely submissive. No inbetween.

Food kink. This man likes to feed, likes to indulge... He'll share food from his mouth to yours, he'll spit wine into your mouth, he'll smother you in the sweetest confectionaries. (inspired by @angellayercake's feeding Terzo fic... still not over it.)

As a dom, he's completely sadistic. BDSM? Yes. Going so far as to have a knife kink, even.

I said Secondo wasn't the worst of the papas...

In the same breath, when he's the sub, he is a subby little baby.

BRAT.

He's happy to give you the power, but he's not gonna make it easy for you...

This is a man who's gonna need restraining if you want to get anything done. And he wouldn't mind that...

Punishment. Chastity cages, cock slapping, spanking. He'll let you, and he'll thank you for it.

Copia

Oral. Giving. He loves to receive, of course he does, but to give it? Sathanas...

When he was Cardinal, he was certainly less confident and would prefer you took the reigns.

P R A I S E. We all know why...

He needs to know you're enjoying yourself, he needs to know he's doing it right, making you feel good...

Tickle that fucking taint.

He loves a good prostate massage. Hell, he'll even ask you to rim him, peg him, just make him lose himself.

As Papa, his confidence grew, and domming is not so difficult anymore. Mostly because he feels like it's his role now, and he should be, but he enjoys how powerful it makes him feel.

He will still want you to peg him.

Mild sensory deprivation.

TOYS. Oh my god, he loves toys. He loves using a wand on you, he loves watching you fall apart. He'll give you vibrating panties to wear through the day... But also, ride him with a prostate massager in? Oh my god, he's PUTTY in your hands.

[soleilnomoon]

Prompt: “I don’t like them; I can barely tolerate them.” for Abarai Renji. Once again, I leave it up to you what you wanna do (but maybe enemies to lovers) Yes, I might be on a little Bleach binge right now but it's okay you like it. kiss kiss

*hides face* ok, ok, ok, hear me out, let's pretend i didn't take *insert accurate length of time here* and say i wrote this in a few days. i am so sorry i took forever and ever with this but as u know i can only give u top quality work or else i'll never forgive myself. renji is.......well *motions to him* yk how that man is, he made me suffer!!!! in a good way!!! but still i suffered!!! yk how much i love enemies 2 lovers u big brained beauty 🤭 so ty baby❤️️ also this is my first renji fic and i can't belev it.

5.2k words (don't look at me, just don't), fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni, enemies 2 lovers, angst city, angst angst city biiiitch (yk the vibez babey), smut obviously, no fluff bc who do u think i am? feat. renji being a mean petty bitch (i guess that makes him a mean dom maybe yes), sub reader bc that's what i want; there's a party with alcohol, ichigo and co. make brief appearances, bathroom sex, choking (he's sf romantic), a lot of cursing bc they're grown that's why, renji is a beast when he's jealous, reader is a lil bit of a brat but lbr who wouldn't be in that situation; mutual ""unrequited"" pining, lots of tension, fingering, rough (consensual) sex, lil bit of degradation, lil bit of a size kink, lil bit of praise kink, idk there's probably more stuff but i'm so tired rn i can't think; um renji obviously comes w his own gd warning; reader is determined to not let this man win but, hello, it's renji he always comes out on top wink wink. (if u see spelling errors/mistakes no u didn't hottie)

“when i write about all of this it becomes its own kind of violence. / i retell the story as myth, as if it were my own body devoured.” — caitlin scarano & “so much of love is violence. the desire / to be split open, invaded, mangled / and made new.” — erin slaughter

HATRED X TASTES X SWEET

you’ve never been cut out for this line of work, but your insistence on eliminating all your shortcomings is commendable. brave, even. it’s something you don’t really think about unless you want to spend the night half-drunk, rambling about the things you should’ve done but never had the courage to do.

like telling a certain red-haired, bullheaded lieutenant that he’s the most ridiculous and excessively arrogant man you’ve ever come across. all in all, you’re pretty sure telling him off won’t phase him; nothing ever does, not really anyway.

at first you try politeness; your grandmother would be proud of how well you’ve learned to bite your tongue. it’s ungraceful, but you fake it well enough that others think your emotional maturity is far above theirs. little do they know, you actually have to literally bite your tongue; simply remaining silent isn’t easy for you anymore. so, when you bite, it’s with rage, months of unshed tears and accumulated spite; you bite your tongue so hard you bleed more every time.

your unsaid words bunch together — tiny soldiers determined to strike in unison without fail — and sit heavily in the back of your throat, ready to launch forward at your command.

but you never say them, and you choke more than once; an unbearable shame to carry with you as he continues to slash at your patience, thin ribbons cascading off you like confetti. you wonder if your anger will lead to your death— or if it’ll lead to his. you intend to keep all of that hidden, though, and keep reminding yourself that eventually he will tire from berating you, from talking to you as if you’re the most incompetent being in all of soul society, from looking at you like your very being disgusts him.

that’s what you tell yourself these days. you like to conveniently ignore the way his dark eyes linger on yours during meetings — you’ve noticed that people have taken to describing them as soulless, cold and critical, unimpressed at everything and anyone.

but you see him — all of him; the raw, feral, powerful and severe side that not many have the misfortune of knowing. they think they get the real version of renji whenever they deal with him, but they never do; you know that now. you doubt it’s even intentional on his part, or maybe — just maybe — he really does hate you.

to put it plainly, as you’ve told rukia and rangiku, the sixth division lieutenant has the biggest fucking chip on his shoulder. despite the walls he continues to put up to keep others from carving out a place for themselves in his life, despite the way his words roll around his mouth, clumsily coasting down the length of his tongue before they pierce the air around you with their toxicity — you’re tired of the way he purposely singles you out time and time again to point out your inadequacies without remorse.

abarai renji is also sick of dealing with you. whenever he thinks he’s found a means of scaring you off, you scurry right back more determined and more obnoxious than ever. which is rich, coming from him.

he claims you’re inconsequential, a nuisance — a pest, even — one that he intends to get rid of permanently. it’s harsh and he’s more than aware of that, but he finds that this is the most appropriate solution to his problem. he could easily ignore you; he could try to keep his comments to himself and try to be somewhat cordial whenever you cross paths. but he won’t. and he has no damn idea why.

“no, no come in, i have plenty of snacks for everyone.”

rukia’s voice is a constant in his life that he’ll always be thankful for. he watches her glide into the room, grinning at the friends she’s invited over, her laughter like soft bells that is easily recognizable even with all the conversation happening. when he feels his chest constrict, an uncomfortable, yet familiar warmth stretching over his skin, he decides to drink so that he can ignore the sensation and forget.

a feeble attempt, because he knows how this will all end — with him drunk off his ass in an even worse mood than he started.

mouth opening, renji prepares to tell rukia to get better sake, when rangiku leads you into the living room where he’s lounging comfortably. the bottle in his hand grows heavier by the second and suddenly he’s not very interested in drinking anymore. already, his foul mood from earlier returns, and every step you take only fuels his irritation; it bubbles underneath his skin, making him frown and grip the bottle tighter.

you don’t need to look at him to know that he’s glaring at you — he always is. rangiku feigns obliviousness as she encourages you to go make yourself comfortable while she fetches snacks with rukia. you stare at both of them, wide-eyed, confused — a pleading look sliding onto your face after a few moments, but they assure you both that they’ll be back shortly.

with a sigh you sit on the armchair adjacent to him, determined to just remain quiet in the hopes that he’ll just ignore you for once. sitting up straight, discomfort finds its way to the pit of your stomach, swirling around as you fidget with the bracelet around your wrist. his eyes watch your movements with an obsessiveness that startles him; there’s no reason why he should be interested in the shape of your fingers, there’s no reason why he should be interested in the way you keep brushing stray curls away from your face, and there’s no reason why he should be interested in possibly fucking you when he knows for a fact that he is absolutely uninterested in you.

his disinterest runs so deep it spoils the taste of the sake, but he takes another swig anyway. the alcohol burns as it travels swiftly down his throat, and it just so happens that you glance over at him — innocuous, an attempt to gauge his annoyance level — as his throat bobs and your mouth dries at the sight.

you turn your face away quickly, a traitorous flush crawling slowly along your skin, unjustly warming your cheeks. inhaling deeply, you do your best to will the blush away to no avail. where the hell are rukia and rangiku? surely it can’t take that long to grab snacks. you’re tempted to go find them, but you have a sinking feeling that it would turn you into a coward.

and you refuse to give that man any more ammo against you.

IT’S X (NOT) X YOU

what initially starts as a small get-together, quickly turns into a party; leave it to rangiku to liven things up, her laughter infectious and whimsical, flitting about like a persistent hummingbird as she encourages everyone to play drinking games with her. experience taught him better than to engage because despite his high tolerance, there’s really no beating rangiku when she’s on a roll.

but when you emphatically agree to play with the rest, fury rises in his chest; your audacity, it seems, knows no bounds — and, yes, he understands the hypocrisy in his critique. he just doesn’t care.

the games are every bit as simple and ridiculous as you thought they’d be, but as everyone seems to be in relatively good spirits, you play along. not normally competitive with things like this, you get into the swing of things when you win round after round.

cheers resound nearby at your success, but throughout the evening, you feel renji’s stare and do everything in your power to not give in and look back at him. a tough feat to say the least, as you are always acutely aware of his presence; and when you do happen to sneak another glance, his legs are spread and you curse under your breath for finding that attractive.

foolish, you chide, so fucking foolish.

renji sucks his teeth as he feels a heaviness in his head; groaning loudly he swirls around what little sake he has left in his glass before finishing it.

“you lose again,” rukia’s voice is soft and teasing, but he’s annoyed and can’t be bothered with talking to her right now. she pats his shoulder gingerly before standing up to head to the kitchen. his mind is a mess and he blames you for it completely.

“i don’t fucking care,” he says gruffly to her retreating figure, not bothering to elevate his voice as he’s sure she heard him. and he really doesn’t care; he’s trying to tell himself to calm down, but he can’t.

the fault completely lies with you — of course it does, everything you do agitates every cell in his body. the reason is simple, and he hates that he doesn’t want to admit it — he’s so undeniably attracted to you that it pisses him off. he takes in your appearance for the twelfth time that night, admiring the softness of your cheeks, the fullness of your lips, the way you seem entirely too animated as you laugh at someone’s lame joke — and yes, he can tell it’s not funny from how your laughter dies down after a few seconds.

if he had better sense, he’d stop looking at you, but he can’t now; he might blame the sake for this later.

the intensity behind his gaze is enough to bring an inextinguishable heat along your skin. it’s only unpleasant because it travels down to your lower abdomen and brings about an agonizing ache between your thighs. at first, you do the sensible thing and ignore it; but the longer he stares, the more you want to look over, until finally you can’t take it anymore.

“i’ll be back,” you mumble to the other guests, although you doubt they hear you with how rowdy everyone is being; the noise isn’t unwelcomed, the distraction serves to mask your footsteps when you scurry from the living room to the back corridor, turning corner after corner until you find the bathroom.

a coward — that’s what you are.

you barricade yourself in there without thinking, heart pounding loud enough to disorient you. after several long minutes, you splash water on your face and take a few deep breaths.

“i can’t believe i ran away,” your voice is so soft you barely hear the words — almost as if you’re still in disbelief over the entire situation. there’s something off about renji tonight; the tension between you was more palatable and tangible than normal.

even though you feigned nonchalance as best as you could, there were so many moments where you couldn’t help but watch him too. pitiful. absolutely pitiful. there’s no excuse for it, and yet you struggle to find one anyway.

as you look at your reflection in the mirror above the sink, you try to convince yourself to head back out there. sooner or later, people will realize that you’ve gone missing — and rangiku is nosy enough and like a bloodhound when she’s drunk. your time is incredibly limited now.

there’s no reason for you to continue to avoid the inevitable, so you sigh and give yourself a small pep talk before heading back outside.

TRUTH X OR X …

renji’s mood doesn’t improve at all; in fact, it worsens the moment ichigo sits right next to him. he’s not even sure why this sets him off, but even closing his eyes and counting backwards does nothing to keep him calm.

with slight difficulty, renji grits out, “what do you want?”

undeterred, ichigo stares at renji pointedly, voice steady as he says, “you could go after her, you know.”

again, renji sucks his teeth loudly, arms folded against his chest, right leg bouncing slightly as he taps his foot on the floor. punching ichigo would be pointless, and then rukia would get involved and he doesn’t have time to deal with the fallout from that so he keeps his hands to himself.

besides, his anger is obviously misdirected right now. he knows — he knows —but he doesn’t care, so he doesn’t mince his words when he responds with, “go after who?” through his peripheral, he can see ichigo’s patience has also reached its limit.

“you’re not that stupid, so stop acting like it.”

normally, renji would take the opportunity to mes s around and argue back and forth, but he might actually fight his friend if he doesn’t walk away. so, he does; abrupt and without looking back, footsteps heavy on the hardwood floor.

maybe he just needs to change his approach with you, maybe talking things out would work in his favor; or maybe he needs to fuck you hard enough to purge you from his mind.

he lies to himself when he considers the first option, because it’s the second option that drives him to walk a little faster, head full of impossible thoughts as he wonders just how far you’d let him go.

when renji finally finds you, you’re in the middle of rebuffing the advances of an unfamiliar guest — they’re drunk, handsy, and keep oscillating between giving you cheesy pick-up lines and berating you for rejecting them. but you stand firm, and your voice is relatively loud when you tell them, “for the last fucking time, go away.”

under normal circumstances, renji would let you handle this yourself; he has no desire to play prince charming or be a knight in shining armor. you’re more than capable, and he’s seen the way you fight and argue to defend yourself — but, it’s when they place a wandering hand on your hip that he loses sight of all of that.

a brief moment passes, where your blood boils as you contemplate how best to kick their ass, but you never get the chance. a rather large shadow hovers over you both, but you already know who it is without having to look properly.

renji is a force to be reckoned with on a good day, but he’s at his fucking limit right now.

he doesn’t ask, doesn’t give any options for retreat, doesn’t say a word when he yanks them off with a brute strength that surprises even you.

now, can he really be blamed for throwing them into the neighboring wall hard enough to make a noticeable hole? and is it really his fault that the drunk can hardly walk as they clutch their broken arm while murmuring something unintelligible, something that renji takes as a sign of them wanting a repeat demonstration?

consequences be damned, he gives the drunk a lethal look before they scramble away in fear.

“loser,” he says loud enough for them to hear, but they don’t double back or even try to go toe-to-toe with the hot-headed lieutenant. you watch, half-amused and half-impressed with the unnecessary machismo, but still, you know better than to chastise him right now, especially when your heart sputters out of control from his proximity.

“…thanks,” you say, a faint flush on your cheeks, voice soft, head fuzzy when you realize that renji — aka mr. “i’ll fight you on everything any day of the week unprovoked for no reason other than to drive you crazy” — saved you. unprompted at that.

you make the mistake of looking up at him, your nerves prompting you to take a small step back when you realize that the usual hostility that renji reserves for you specifically is nowhere to be found. in its place is something more unreadable — or, rather, you don’t want to read into it for fear of being wrong.

renji steps closer, which makes you back up again until your back hits the wall and you’re no longer able to escape.

“we need to talk,” he says suddenly, but you shake your head, non-verbally objecting to the idea, curls bouncing wildly with your exaggerated movements. since he knows he’s pressed for time, he grabs your face with his large hand and stops you from moving. “that wasn’t a request.”

swallowing rusty nails would be better than dealing with your conflicting feelings over renji right now, because he’s much too close to you and now you’re forgetting why it is you hate him in the first place. ironically, he’s in the exact same position. so far, he’s acted on impulse over you more times than he can count tonight, but he supposes that’s to be expected — you are a wildcard, after all.

“what if i don’t want to.” your response is clumsy, the words tumbling one after the other. “what if i want you to leave?” you don’t actually mean that, but you throw it at him anyway, to see if maybe this was all a fluke, and maybe, just maybe he’ll remember himself and you both can go back to fighting like usual.

he considers your question, goes so far as to release your face to wrap his hand around your throat instead. your sharp inhale and parted lips tell him all he needs to know.

with a slightly raised brow, he asks, “well, do you?”

because if you do, he’ll walk away right now. but he knows what your answer will be, he just has to drag it out of you. he squeezes your neck to remind you to hurry it up, and before you can answer him properly, he places his leg in between yours, pressing close enough that you roll your hips forward while whimpering softly.

he really didn’t think any of this through, but luckily the adrenaline from it all won’t wear off anytime soon, so he’ll improvise along the way. he spent most of the night dealing with a semi-hard cock that wouldn’t listen to reason no matter how many times he tried to stop thinking about you. but now? all of that restraint goes out of the window, and before he can question it, he kisses you.

you’ve kissed plenty of people in your life — some good, most were mediocre and uninspiring — but renji actually takes your breath away. everything about him commands all your attention; from the way his lips move against yours greedily, leaving behind burning kisses that make your nipples harden underneath your clothes — to the way he thrusts his tongue in between your plush lips, licking inside of your mouth hotly, igniting an inextinguishable flame deep inside of you.

he grabs your hip with his free hand, squeezing hard, fingers digging firmly. all the irritation from earlier dissipates completely, leaving you feeling lightheaded and needy; you grind against him recklessly, arousal dampening the front of your panties, clit sensitive as it rubs against the delicate fabric. his cock presses against you — thick, long, and hard — and you wonder if this is why he’s so angry with you all the time.

was it always that simple?

if you asked the question aloud, he wouldn’t know what to tell you — it’s a combination of things, but mostly he’s an idiot; he knows that now, but likewise you’re an idiot too. you just don’t realize it yet.

it’s renji who pulls away first, lightly panting, breath warm against your lips as he releases his hold on your neck. he doesn’t know where he finds the strength to string together a coherent statement, but his voice is low and husky when he speaks. “answer my question.”

you blink at him, completely in a daze, lips slightly swollen from all the kissing. “wh-what?” you don’t remember what he asked you, and you don’t care.

“do you want me to leave?”

for some reason, you completely forgot that you told him that. you rub your lips together and run your hands along his chest. “no.” the answer comes out automatically, without hesitation, and that’s all the encouragement he needs.

“good.”

SAY X IT X LOUDER

he picks you up with ease, almost as if you weigh nothing; a small squeal spills out of you as you wrap your legs around his waist, and renji gives you a sly smile — one laced with mischief and an unspoken promise of what’s to come.

you’re back in the bathroom again, this time sitting on the counter with renji standing in between your legs. his hands coast along your curvy hips and down your thighs. he’s touching you but he’s not touching you and it’s driving you crazy.

with hurried, eager hands you both undress, and for the umpteenth time you internally curse this style of uniform; still, it doesn’t take too long before his hands are on you again, calloused palms rough and warm against your skin. he places a kiss on your jaw, then another on your neck right underneath your earlobe; each kiss he leaves behind distorts your common sense, makes you feel irrational and impatient. your hands are soft and well-practiced, stroking his stiff cock as his hips jerk forward from your touch.

he can’t remember the last time someone had him this worked up, which pisses him off a little; because that means him fucking you once won’t settle things. at that thought, renji bites your neck and your startled yelp quickly morphs into a moan when he runs his tongue along the mark. he dips his hand in between your thighs, rubbing his thick fingers against your slit. a loud banging on the door has you looking over, and you can’t remember if he bothered to lock it once you both were inside.

your attention nearly falters, but when he pinches your clit you buck your hips, a shiver shooting down your spine at the slight pain.

“eyes on me,” is all he says, seemingly annoyed that you would dare to focus your attention elsewhere, “always keep them on me.” what he means by that, he doesn’t know, but you take the command at face value and nod while swallowing. he slides a finger inside of your wet pussy, and while you initially wanted to keep quiet to avoid suspicion and to prevent anyone from intruding, but you can’t now.

“renji,” you breathe, fingers trembling as you hold onto the counter for support, he thrusts his finger in and out, quick and hard, before inserting another. you clench around him, hips rocking forward as he fingerfucks you and grinds his palm against your clit. you close your eyes and moan louder than you mean to, chest heaving, thoughts jumbled and incoherent. he scissors his fingers inside of you, but quickly removes them without prompting.

“fuck!” you open your eyes again and stare at him in disbelief. “why did you stop?”

he laughs darkly and grabs your face roughly, fingers pressing into your soft skin without remorse. “what did i tell you earlier?” everything about this situation is laughable. he gave you very specific instructions, ones he thought were easy enough for you to follow. for some reason your movements are sluggish, mind in a haze as you scramble to remember but nothing comes to mind.

as you open and close your mouth, looking every bit as adorable as you are alluring, he decides to show you a bit of kindness.

“get down.” his command comes swift, his patience practically nonexistent; precum glides down the head of his thick cock, but he ignores it for the sake of teaching you a lesson. you don’t bother waiting for him to repeat himself and slide off the counter. “turn around.”

like a doll, your movements are dictated by renji with simple, short statements. nothing about that phases you, though; it’s all very exciting, so when you do turn to face the counter, you bend forward and lean over the counter. renji admires the roundness of your ass and slaps it hard.

again, you find yourself moaning loudly, without shame and not caring about the volume of your voice. surely the others won’t pay attention, as they’re still very drunk and are entertaining themselves with more games. another slap on your ass has you grabbing onto the counter again, legs shaking, arousal dripping between your thighs in anticipation. if renji doesn’t fuck you soon, you might actually die.

he knows he’s taking too damn long, but it’s much more interesting making you work for him. he rubs the tip of his cock against your puffy pussy, gliding it in between your slick folds, your moans sweetly wrapping around him once he pushes inside of you slowly. someone bangs on the door again, making you look over, anxiety quickly filling your head with unnecessary what ifs that almost command your full attention.

with narrowed eyes, renji grabs onto your hair, curls soft in his hand, and yanks hard.

“the fuck did i say earlier?”

goosebumps travel down your arms as a different kind of awareness and clarity surges through you quickly. you blink at your reflection, watching the way he towers over you, his muscles hard and defined — sculpted from years of training and dedication to honing his skills. it hits you then, what he’s really asking you.

“to,” you swallow thickly, throat dry, “to keep my eyes on you always.” you say it all in one breath, gasping when he runs his tongue along the curve of your ear. you don’t know how much more you can take, but you know if you complain, if you say anything he might stop altogether.

renji’s smile is wicked and dark, his lips graze your earlobe, voice deep and gravelly, a huskiness that wasn’t there before as he thrusts into you, burying his cock deeply.

“good girl.”

he refrains from kissing you properly, instead pushing you down so you can lean over the counter again. your mind melts from it all, and you’re panting, heart beating faster and faster as he firmly places a hand on your back.

“you’re squeezing me so tight,” he remarks thoughtfully, although you note the slight strain in his voice; as much as he tries to act like he’s not that affected by you, you know that isn’t the case at all. your pussy is every bit as enticing and heavenly as he knew it would be; he pulls back and slams his cock into you all over again, filling you completely. you try to keep watching him in the mirror, but he’s fucking you like he’s angry with himself for being so attracted to you.

and he absolutely is. it’s a truth he fought against for so long that he’s given up on denying it now. your moans drip onto his skin like caramel, sticky and sweet, and when you say his name like that — your voice going higher and higher from the ferocity of his thrusts — he nearly loses his mind.

“fuck,” he says out loud, grabbing your hip roughly, your wetness coating the length of his cock, “you’re taking me so well.” he knows you can’t really answer him, and he likes that; you’re beyond caring at this point, instead focusing on the way his cock reaches a spot that has you bouncing your ass and fucking yourself against him. normally, renji would play around and edge you in retaliation, but he’s too far gone, completely under the spell of your pretty pussy, with how soft and tight it is.

you’re not sure how you got here, but you’re drowning in ecstasy right now. he instructs you to lift your leg to rest it onto the counter, pulling out momentarily to help you position and spread your legs further apart. he plunges his cock into you again, keeping his hips closer as he gives you shorter, frenzied thrusts. your head spins and you can’t think straight, but that doesn’t matter. all you care about is the way renji is angling his hips, rolling them forward to pound into your cunt roughly, balls heavy as they smack against your ass.

“oh, oh, oh.” you swear your life flashes before your eyes, because something possesses him, his strokes shorter, brutal, and frenetic. drool slides down your chin, your voice hoarse from how loud you’ve been. you’re sure someone’s heard you by now, but you don’t care.

how can you?

with renji fucking you like this — merciless and possessive, fingers brusing your skin, almost as if he wants to make sure you’ll be as obsessed with him as he is with you — your common decency, your morals, everything that makes you you, they don’t exist.

all that’s left is this burning desire to let him have his way with you for as long as he wants. thankfully, you have enough sense to not admit that out loud; who knows what kind smugness you’ll be subjected to if renji knew.

but you’re pretty damn transparent about it, he can tell from the way you can’t stop clenching your pussy around his cock, from how your pussy makes loud, lewd squelching noises — ones that he’ll commit to memory so he can revisit them from time to time.

tears roll down your cheeks and you sob as you hold onto the counter as best as you can, back arching, hips rocking against him with a neediness you never knew you had. there’s a tightening in your stomach and your pulse skyrocketing as a flash of white practically blinds you. he watches the way your pussy keeps swallowing the length of his cock, and you finally fall over the edge, orgasm suffocating you with its intensity.

your cunt flutters around him, gummy walls soft and hypnotic, an addiction he never thought he’d have; breathing heavily, his muscles tense and renji groans something that suspiciously sounds like your name. the thought alone makes your face burn and warms your chest in a way that doesn’t make sense. and when he finally cums, he humps into you, cum thick and hot as it spills inside your pussy, mixing with your slick wetness. a completely messy affair, but he doesn’t care — it’s not his bathroom, after all.

legs trembling, you’re limp and incapable of movement, whimpering and whining until he finally pulls out of you.

renji runs a hand down his face, feeling spent but more than satisfied. suddenly his shoulders aren’t so tight and tense, and his mood is much more tolerable. you do your best to stand but almost fall — your legs are useless, turned to jelly because of the man behind you. he chuckles at that, then clears his throat once he realizes. he fully expected there to be a moment of awkwardness after, but it never comes. when he sees your face — lips bruised and swollen, face flushed, eyes glazed with a faraway look — he feels compelled to kiss you again. so, he does. it’s not sweet, nor is it tender, but it still makes your heart swell all the same. he holds you close as you wrap your arms around his neck, doing your best to keep standing, even though your legs are ready to give out.

you don’t know exactly what any of this means, but you do understand him a bit better now. he’s terrible with expressing himself, but you kind of like that about him; and maybe this isn’t the healthiest relationship, but life was uncertain and you’d take renji fucking you like it’s his last day alive over him openly hating you any day.

[smallestapplin]

Honestly all I need in life is more ingo content he's my yoinky sploinky

Could you, perchance, do a soft morning sex smut w a male reader and Ingo bc it's winter and they want to warm up?

Just them being in love and happy, maybe aftercare of making breakfast together

Thank u, I love u /p

- Tofu Anon

Oh absolutely 😩 I can’t tell you how excited I was writing this.

🔞18+Only!🔞Minors DNI🔞

Male reader with he/him pronouns and masc descriptors.

-

-

-

Ingo bites back a groan as the sunlight peeks through the curtains, shining on his face and waking him up. He squeezed his eyes together before slowly squinting, blinking the sleep from his silver eyes.

He lays there for a moment, unmoving. His frown deepens as the chill of the winter morning hits him, making him thank the dragons it’s his day off today. The sheets moving catches his attention, making him crack his eyes open to see you snuggling further into the covers.

Ingo’s frown softens at the sight, letting out an airy chuckle when you roll over, your back facing toward him as your sleeping form tries to steal more cover to get warm.

Instead of fighting for more, he curls into your back, nuzzling his face into your nape and wrapping his arm around your stomach, before getting comfortable and molding his body against yours.

“Mm….you’re cold.” You shiver at the sudden chilly contact, burying your face more into your pillow.

“Ah, I’m sorry my love, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He truly didn’t he just wanted to get warm and enjoy this calm morning with you.

You barely groan loud enough for him to hear, but you push yourself further against him, your ass slotting perfectly against his pelvis.

Ingo helps you, his hand on your hip and the other arm under you to wrap around you.

“You’re so warm. Probably because you’re a blanket thief.” He teases you, kissing your bruised neck with a chuckle. The passionate night before still lingers into the morning.

“Maybe cuddle or steal it back then.” You look behind you just to stick your tongue out at him.

“Oh, how cruel.” He kisses your cheek before nuzzling back into your neck.

You smile, finding his early morning affection to be so cute, but it’s far too cold, even with the heat on it’s chilly. An idea lights up in your head, before a smile sneakily forms on your face. Glancing down you see just how easy it would be, and he’s none the wiser.

Carefully you push your ass back, grinding against him. You listen as Ingo’s breathing shakes, the hand on your hip tightens yet he doesn’t stop you, encouraging you to continue. The arm around you moves, making you mutely squeal as Ing’s cold hand drags across your bare chest, cupping one of your pecs, and running his thumb over your perked nipple.

“You truly think you’re slick, huh?”

Ingo bites his lip to hold back his groan. You chuckle, continuing to throw your ass back against him.

“I can think of a way to warm us both up.”

He moves from your neck to lock eyes with you, his bright silver looking deeply into yours.

“My, when did my husband become so needy?”

Before you have a chance to retort his hand moves from your hip and slides into your boxers, slowly pushing them down and freeing your half-hard cock. You hiss softly as you’re greeted by the cold air even through your cozy blanket.

“Was last night not enough to satisfy you?”

You moan, airily laughing at his words as he kisses one of the many hickies he left last night.

“I could say the same for you. Such a needy man, always wanting me.”

His face was bright red, but that doesn’t stop him from pulling his boxers down, freeing his throbbing dick against your ass, and reaching to his nightstand, grabbing a half-empty bottle of lube to use.

Ingo bites back any sound as the cold lube is slathered on his cock, but it’s quick to warm up. You gasp feeling his wet dick press between your asscheeks.

He curls around you, his face in the nape of your neck.

“I’m sure this would be a satisfactory way to keep warm, do you want-“

“Ingo, please just put it in already, I can’t wait anymore.” You whine, pressing against him.

You’re still tender and stretched from last night, making it easy for him to slip inside. You let out a long whimper, before catching your breath.

“Fuck….still- still so good.” You pant, his chest pressed firmly against your back as he grinds his cock deeper into your ass.

You rock your hips, gently fucking yourself on his cock, and matching his slow movements.

“Mm…I love you. Fuck, such a pretty boy, making such pretty sounds for me.” Ingo grunts in your ear before muffling his whimpers into your skin.

His tip hits so deep inside you, softly hitting and grinding on your sweet spot over and over and over again. The pleasure fogging your mind, even with his gentle fucking it’s overwhelming, he knows just how to please you.

“Ingo…oh gods..! I love you, love you so much-ah!” You bite your lips. Drool leaked from your lips, but you couldn’t even think about it as your eyes cross.

He just keeps rocking against your prostate!

You grip the pillow under your head, trying to ground yourself and not get lost in him. Ingo isn’t fairing any better, his loud moans echoing alongside yours, you just feel so good! So warm, so snug around him, clenching every time he hits that spot inside you.

his hand on your hip slides down to grip your neglected and weeping cock, while his other wraps around you, holding you tight against him as he carefully speeds up his thrusts, hand moving in time with his movements.

Your eyes roll back while a weak cry leaves your throat.

“O-oh Ingo! You’re- M’gonna cum!” Your free hand moves behind you, threading your fingers through his silver hair to pull his face up.

You slam your lips against him in a wet, messy kiss. Muffling your cries with him.

You arch your back, pressing your ass firmly back onto him as your cum coats his hand and the bed sheets. He can feel your warmth covering his hand, feel your dick twitching and your well-loved hole clenching around him, it’s driving him crazy.

He can’t stop the wail that leaves him as he fucks your ass full of his thick spent. You whimper at the feeling, it’s so hot and filling you to the brim.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, my precious husband.” Ingo lavishes gentle kisses slowly on your shoulder, neck, and cheek.

You chuckle at the ticklish feeling.

“We should really get up.” You sigh, but can’t top the laugh from bubbling over when Ingo groans.

It’s usually the other way around.

“Please, stay in bed a moment more, let me go make you some breakfast and then we will get you cleaned up.”

You tremble as he carefully slides his cock out of you, and fixes both of your boxers before he gets up.

“I’ll have to thank whatever force gave me such a sweet man like you.”

Ingo’s face is dusted pink, but that doesn’t stop him from kissing you one last time.

“It should be me thanking whatever brought you into my life. No, if I may, I have to make my handsome man some breakfast.”

He fixes the blanket around you just so you’ll stay warm before he takes his leave.

How did you get so lucky?

[nknoxe-n]

hellooo!!! I saw ur bllk match up event and couldn't resist :3

Im 5'7" and a girl! I have long black hair w tan skin. I'm an intp and love anime, manga, and art (drawing and making kandi!!!). I'm a bit quiet at first and very shy when it comes to romance, but once I know someone I'm a yapper.... I'm quite unhinged over text and can honestly make... interesting jokes. I'm kinda insecure about my looks/ body, but I'm trying to be more positive:)

As for my style, I'm sort of getting into alt/ scene, but I also like y2k and grunge/ fairy grunge.

Some animes/shows/media I like include sk8 the infinity, moriarty the patriot, honkai star rail, and link click.

Another thing I like doing is martial arts/ fighting. I wanna compete one day :p

As for what I look for in a partner, I want someone who is relaxed and not too possessive. I also want someone who will let me have my freedom and alone time, since i need to recharge. My love language is quality time/physical touch (it's a tie between the two honestly). I'd also like someone who can make me laugh and have similar interests so we can talk and possibly bond over them! I'm also kinda into cocky guys/ ones that tease u lololol. But they should obviously respect my boundaries. Also I'd like someone who's a bit calmer than me bc (like I said) if I like you I can get kinda loud.... someone to balance me out, but can still tolerate me if that makes sense.

Anyways, that's all for my request!

Your Blue Lock Matchup: Otoya Eita

Hey there! After reviewing your submission, I believe Otoya Eita would be an ideal match for you. Otoya fits perfectly with your need for a balance of freedom and affection, as he’s someone who respects personal space while also making sure you're never bored. He’s a laid-back and easy-going guy, which makes him ideal for someone who needs their alone time to recharge but still wants someone to share their moments with. Otoya isn’t the type to be overly clingy or possessive, and he can appreciate when you need some space to be yourself.

Your playful, “unhinged” sense of humour and love for making interesting jokes would definitely catch Otoya’s attention. He has a silly side to him too, so he’d match your teasing energy in a way that would keep the banter fun... buuut he' also says skibidi toilet and genuinely thinks it's funny, so there is that. He knows how to dish out a playful jab, but he’s also very aware of when it’s time to dial it down, thankfully. He has decent people skills, even if he tries to be all 'cool and mysterious' he'll whine like a child if you don't say 'I love you' back in text or just send him an 'ily' he won't hesitate to call you demanding you say it if he's alone.

Otoya’s a bit more relaxed and calm than you, which fits the dynamic you’re looking for. He can handle your more energetic moments without ever stifling your energy, in fact, if you start talking about something he likes he will match your yap. He’s so into the fact you know martial arts, especially with his whole 'ninja' persona, and he's literally on his knees begging you to teach him anything. Also, Otoya won't tell you, but he thinks the fact that you can fight is super hot.

He's a little fiend at heart and will honestly love watching anime with you, but he has to be touching you, which goes with your love language of physical touch. He's really cliché though, *sigh* he wants to lay his head in your lap or stomach mostly because it's easy access to wrap his arms around you while looking at the TV.

[sungtaro]

to my beloved mutuals who contributed to the big birthday project spearheaded by millie i truly can't tell you how special and loved you all made me feel 🥹 it really means so much that all of you would take the time to share such thoughtful and lovely things. now that i have had all day to process and time to sit down to thank all of you ... let's gaaaur 😎

roro! @sunghanbin thank you always for your kind words and for seeing in me what i can only believe is the warmth reflected back from what you put out into the world 💖 i'm glad you've stood by me from my filtering nct era to my full on nctzenization without even batting a lash, even if my bias reveal was unexpected 🤭 #thanks_jaehyun

vianey! @souladies thank you so much for taking the time to wish me well and contribute to this. you are such an integral presence in my tumblr experience, i am always so happy to see your creations in my tag after a long stretch of not being here, and in so many ways it's you who always makes me feel welcome back 🥹

aweks! @awek-s my sweet bean, i hope you know i'm always cheering for you! i wish for a world where everyone can feel seen, heard, and supported by their healthcare team - i know it's far from the reality, but i'll always work hard to be at least be that nurse myself. you are so important to the world and to me, pls don't forget it 💖

rosie! @kimjiwoong I MISS U first of all and thank you so much for adding your love to the mix 💖 i cannot remember the day we first talked but that's probably because it's just felt like you've always been here, and i'm always excited to see you 🥹

lili! @ninqz my little crabby ... thank you for taking the time to contribute to this (and make me a gifset!) when i know it's been a hard and busy semester. thank you for always entertaining my random fun facts and for thinking they're fun in the first place ahbgjha and i hope we'll get to catch up more soon 💖

brina! @aquablues my babieeee and of course my little sibling 4ever (4brina). i'm so proud of you and learn a lot from the way you live so true to yourself. honored to be a virtual big sister and excited to see where life keeps taking u !! my love will be in that cargo pants pocket every step 😎

lulu! @fushigojos as you know i am always so fond of u ! even if we aren't living txt comeback to txt comeback together anymore . i'm glad we both feel the same 'forever-friend' kind of love. i'll always be in your corner !! 💖

sofi! @yeofi thank you for always caring about me and sticking around since the beginning of it all! no matter how busy we may get or how hard both of us are working (sometimes too hard) we always have each other's back 💖

miha! @jaebeomtual i got emotional for real 😭 thank you for being so generous with your love, i'm someone who i think struggles with putting affection into words and you make it look so easy while still feeling so genuine and managing to make me laugh at the same time as i am like my heart is going to burst rn . i'm so grateful to call you loml and hope you know how much positivity and peace and laughter i get from you.

aléks! @possession1981 one day we will hang out irl and it will be the easiest and best time ever. i'm always here for you and so glad that you trust me and that i can be like a big sister to you when you need it 💖 i always admire you and am so grateful for our friendship!

rachel! @gnanii my ate 💖 though we are definitely different, i think that's what makes us strong. i think i've said it before but i always have had a hard time letting people take care of me, and yet you manage to make me feel so taken care of in a way that's easy. thank you for being willing to travel for me, for sharing the pain of teumeism with me, for every jae selfie you make sure i see bc we all know i don't get weverse notifications, for sharing the highs and lows of real life as well as kpop, and for being the amazing friend and person you are. can't wait until we see each other again 🤗

mary! @dongkwan so weird to tag you in a tumblr post when we spend all the time just texting each other lol but i have to give you a shoutout for somehow managing not to tell me that this was being plotted. i'm so glad that i decided to get into kpop, immediately told you about it, and for how much it's continued to bring us together ever since. looking forward to embarrassing myself at omega x with you soon 💖

meg! @hozierbyrne what can i say really ... thank you for everything you did to help make this happen. you are a wizard of making me feel special and listened to all the time but it never ceases to lift me up regardless. i read all the things you think about me as a friend and i'm like no way, that's you! but i think it goes to show that we really are aligned in what we look for in a friendship, which is probably also why it's felt like we've been friends for decades instead of whenever things escalated on tumblr to the point of me being like sure i will get on a plane and share a bed with this person i've never met , . and i'm glad we keep getting on planes and i'm so excited for when you'll get on one to see me here. i promise to have the best, most cancelable powerpoint yet ready to present to you 💖 love u

millie! @berryjaellie clears throat what the heck this was so unbelievably lovely of you i can't believe you even considered for half a second that i wouldn't like it. i loved it !!! thank you for taking so much time to consider all of these Things About Me and talking to people about them and then putting it all together in this incredibly thoughtful, detailed, super cute package that i cannot stop staring at and have shared with my parents + irl friends because of how much it meant to me. and of course for everything you yourself had to share and say. ever since the first time you said something along the lines of 'not just a friend like you, but you as a friend' i really have started thinking more in that way and using that because it really makes a difference and i want you to know that i'm just as glad to have not a friend like you, but you as a friend. i laughed, i cried, i felt so treasured as i looked through this (multiple times) and that's all you and your thoughtfulness. thank you for being the first to wish me a happy birthday in the most powerful, loving way. it, and you, mean so much to me 💖

[nerdlvr]

hiiii aggy!!!! hows school & work? 🩷 hopefully its not too stressful/hard on u, but i’m sure that whatever it is, u got this! 😆 rmb to hydrate urself!!!!!! and stay safe ☝🏻

today’s tmi is…i think i just absolutely BOMBED a national exam. not even an internal exam but a nationwide one (i think its like the equivalent of SATs???) that’s gna like more or less determine where i’m going to go for my next stage of education…sigh 😭 where i’m from the grade boundary for an A1 (i think like an A+??? im from asia!!!) in math is 90%++ and we have 2 papers, so i sat for the 1st paper today and there were so many different responses from people saying it was super easy to super hard and now im so worried bc my some of my answers were def wrong and i didn’t think it was easy as some of my batchmates were saying 😕 im so cooked and i still have exams all the way until nov 11…

hope ur day’s going better than mine bby 💕

- 🥟 anon

hiii my cutie dumpling! school and work is okay now that i've finished the harder stuff, thank you for the support babe ur love keeps me going <333

i am thankful everyday that the SATs were optional during the time i was applying to college (cause of COVID)

i think you did as best as you could babe and that's what matters. i feel like i always get into my head after an exam when i hear my classmates say it was easy or when they tell me they put different answers than me, but i believe in you bae I know you did well (we're manifesting this together)

exam season is the worst don't forget to take care of yourself and find time to eat and rest, you can't do well unless you're happy and healthy! i believe in you dumpling you got this!

also a side note i hate that exams like that determine our whole lives like when you get a job no one asks about your exam scores like let me get my education so i can work why are you stressing me with 6 papers and ten exams like HOW IS THIS HELPING ME.

[positivelypositive]

Hihihi ! First of all wanna say I love ur page sm ty for posting ur personal motivational messages!! They are always so comforting. <333

I just wanted to rant about my major, since I’m in college and that’s like my whole life right now haha.. I keep struggling with getting bad grades (not failing, but not amazing enough to go to a good graduate school in the future). Even though it’s very common since I’m a STEM major in a fairly tough school/major, it doesn’t stop me from feeling like a failure and that I’ll never get better.. I know that I need to just keep taking steps to improve myself and my grades, but it’s so especially hard when my friends in the class are really complacent, settling for the bad grades and not trying to be creative with ways to improve themselves. They choose to be lazy instead and deal with the consequences by dropping a class or a minor that isn’t easy (relatively). I have one other friend in my major who is as motivated as me to do really well, but she isn’t doing the same minor that I’m aiming to do — so we don’t have those classes in common to relate with and help/motivate each other on. So if I’m struggling in the classes for my minor, I know my friends won’t be much help because they’re probably struggling more than me ! Or if they aren’t, they just aren’t as helpful in explaining things because they don’t have an intuitive grasp on it if that makes sense, and would rather just give me their answers.

Anyways, it’s just an overall frustrating experience, but I saw that u were accepting rants hahaha and I kinda needed to get this off my chest. What would u do in my situation? Try to maybe make some new friends? It’s hard because I try to avoid people with big egos (bc they’re annoying 😭 but sometimes they end up being the smartest/most motivated…) but I could also try going out of my comfort zone to meet new ppl, but I also have social anxiety so it’s scary hahahha

Much love 💕

hey anon,

thank you for your kind words! i'm so glad you took up my offer to rant and shared freely. lastly, i'm sorry if i'm getting back to you late. i have been away from my account for a little while and only saw this today.

now, on to what you shared- i want to begin by telling you how proud i am of you. you want to do better even when those surrounding you are complacent. that takes serious motivation. you're awesome!

as for not having someone to motivate you to do even better- i'm in a field where none of my friends or family had any experience so i was a loner for most of my career. eventually, i found people to share with but i understand where you're coming from.

i think youtube used to and still helps me the most. try to look up efficient study methods for your specific subjects or course type. now, it can get overwhelming because youtubers have their on-camera, pretty lives in extreme order.

what you want to do is start small. maybe pick one idea that you see common amongst a few videos and try implementing that. see if it works and then keep adding slowly.

remember to not overdo it. perfection is overrated and for a sincere person as yourself, it can quickly turn demotivating.

take care of yourself anon. you sound like a very pleasant person. feel free to drop by for another rant, anytime. sending you warmth and positive vibes ✨

[cosmicdream222]

but how can we access those other versions if we are just experiencing this one version? its kind of lame honestly like ik i could do better and shouldve tried harder at education but it isnt for me or this version of reality i dont belong or fit in like everythings about being someone you arent and even if theres songs telling you to love yourself be yourself society never truly accepts the real you cause its always telling women they should wear makeup then it tells women that they dont need makeup so which is it that we are to believe? its likr theres someone or something external that keeps telling folk how they should and shouldnt live what they can or cant do with their own damned lives. thats what i hate most about society that it seems to make it so complex that we cant truly be happy even if we want too and whats to say that id actually be happier in those other versions of reality?

i mightve done worse at something or not even remotely tried my best or had worse situations. with manifesting its always about having to have a goal and a desire but what if we have neither a goal nor a desire bc of the way things are in the world? like u see the wars going on and just think whats the point or you see people still struggling to get good pay and im like why bother myself? society doesnt make it easy to exist itself and it doesnt even acknowledge the real issues anyway so no ones accountable for the way things turned out to be. so we probs just keep seeing the same situations throughout different years and it doesnt really improve.

One again dude, none of that stuff matters! You gotta stop complaining about society. This is like an escape room, remember? It’s like you’re playing Resident Evil, complaining about how you hate zombies and how horrible it is. Of course it is, it’s programmed to be that way! If you don’t like it, play a different game!

The “how” of course is the tricky part. None of us were told how, and we’ve been programmed the opposite since birth. That’s part of the game, part of the puzzle of the escape room. We’re lucky now to have the internet and social media, so this information has been spreading faster than ever. But still, everyone is just shooting in the dark and creating methods based on their own personal experiences.

Really the only thing you need to do is know you can do it and intend to do it. People that learned how to shift as kids (or who have mastered it already) describe it as simple as that. The methods are just for convincing the human brain that tells us it’s not possible.

[taegularities]

Rid you're crazyyyyyyyyyyy

just finished cmi11 IM FUCKING CRYING holy shit that was so good oh god

first of all the conversation between oc and her mom made me cry so hard- it hit home for me, as a girlie with mommy issues, that part felt so real to me. Oc's courage to stand up for herself like that and tell her how much she hurt her own daughter is something i dont have in me. It broke my fucking heart, that yearning feeling, i cant believe you put that specific feeling into words rid [are u part of the mommy issues community as well🧐 or are u just that amazing, a true fucking artist (i saw that anon calling you the beyonce of ff and i agree 100%)] idk how to describe my feelings rn, that part definitely left a mark in my heart, ill never forget it

second the domesticity in these two dorks oh my goddddd they're driving me crazy, theyre so cute and in love and im in love with them and i want to cry bc i want what they have but bc irl men suck the hopeless romantic in me is gonna have to live through fanfics for the rest of my life and that makes me fucking miserable but bless the fanfic gods like you that keep my soul alive, idk what id do without you

lastly that scareeeeee oh god like i knew itd be a negative but it had my heart beating out of my ass (idk if thats a phrase) but the way they handled it oh god, the emotionsssssss the fears and insecurities, just reminded me that theyre human, even if theyre the most fucking adorable characters ever, theyre still human and i loved seeing such nuance. You really are doing an amazing job rid, not only writing the story, scenes and dialogue, but also the way you write these characters in such depth, its so fucking refreshing to see.

i want to kiss your beatiful head that holds your beautiful brain, seriously ive never ever been so enchanted by a piece of writing before (and i read so much fanfiction its like an addiction) you are by far my strongest fix. For real tho, your writing, and particularly cmi has touched me deeply and I'll never ever forget it. So thank you

Rest assured and stop doubting yourself bc youre seriously incredible and so fucking talented. Now rest up and take care of yourself, i imagine its not easy to birth such work (i mean 36k you monster, i loved every second of it but damn girl take a break before you burn your brain out) but no srsly i hope youre eating well, sleeping well and doing things that make you happy and relaxed. You deserve all the best of this world rid🫂🩷

sincerely ~ 🐼✒️anon

panda hi hello oh my gosh, sorry for being late, but you mentioned so many important things, so i wanted to take my time HELLO!! never stop sending these lovely af reviews 🥺

i know... she really is inspiring bc the courage to stand up against someone you feared for so long is admirable. i'm part of both the mommy and daddy issues community even though it's gotten a lot better lol like i wonder why it's such a recurring theme in my fics 🤣 i'm so sorry you could relate to oc :( but i'm glad you liked the scene so much.

and ahhh the domesticity 🤧 it's been so so fun and relaxing to write!! real life romance can be hard to find, yeah :') so i guess writing these scenes and chapters has been extra cathartic (although it drives me crazy, too — the next chapter has been making me so jejfhdjjsgd), but here's to finding a cmi jk irl soon :') much more to come!!!🕯️

the scare was one hell of a ride 🥺 i cried a lot!! and even i have been realising lately that i sometimes try to make my characters flawless, but that's actually not what i wanna go for. i always snap out of it and then try to make them flawed bc they're human, and i think the cmi couple, despite how endearing they are, is definitely vv flawed :') thank you for pointing that out 🥺

your strongest fix?? girl PLEASE ILL CRY 😭💔 i love you so much, you're so sweet for saying that and seeing me in such a way, pls i want you here forever <3 i rested a lot after cmi11! but ngl, cmi11.5 almost burned me out ksjdhehd gonna rest even more after that hehe. tyssssm, i hope you're well and healthy and i appreciate you so much for your kindness, reassurances and love for this series/me. love you so much 🤍

[hard--headed--woman]

i feel kinda messed up rn bc before i got with my ex i had been convinced by the trans community that i was nonbinary and went by them/them for ages.

but my ex was a conservative controlling male basically and started calling me by she/her and my deadname even while i was telling him not too. (but obviously not for radfem reasons lol) eventually during the relationship i got into radfem theory and it was ur post about why a lot of women identify as nonbinary that actually started me thinking about it and i realised it pretty much described exactly me.

issue is, because my ex was so controlling and a lot of people would probably classify him as absuive, i still hate being called by she/her and my 'deadname' by anyone i know. now i just associate it with a control tactic and a way to make me feel shitty. on the other hand, i feel like im betraying my own beliefs and that i should try find a way to reconnect with those identifiers, but bc the wound is so fresh rn it was a far from easy

sorry that this is so long, i'm just kinda wondering if u have any advice, and i've just been considering how many other women probably try to identify out of being female because of trauma related reasons.

Hey, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me about it! I hope I will be able to help you a little bit!

First of all, please don't feel guilty for not liking being called by your "deadname" or referred to as "she/her". You've identified as non binary for ages, so you got used to it, and because of the abusive relationship you went through (sorry for that by the way, it's terrible and I hope you're doing better), this name and these pronouns remind you of your traumas, of the abuse you suffered, and make you feel bad. This is normal, you're not betraying any beliefs or any cause, it's is a human reaction and you're not doing anything wrong. I think most radfems would agree with me on that. No one can blame you so don't blame yourself.

Before anything else, I'll say that if you really can't hear that name and these pronouns, no matter how hard you try, don't force yourself. Maybe it's not what I should say but at the end of the day, if you try for a long time to accept this name and the female pronouns, and it doesn't work, no one would blame you for deciding to keep using your "new" name (or picking another one) and the they/them pronouns.

Now about your problem in itself. Well it might sound obvious but the best way to reconcile yourself with your name and female pronouns is to heal from your traumas due to this shitty relationship. Talk about it, for example to your friends or family, tell them how you feel, go out, focus on your hobbies and the things you like, meet new people if you feel like it, go to therapy if it helps, find a way to express your feelings... Do everything you need to do to feel better and move on. Step by step. It might take some time but you'll get there!

Same for your name and your pronouns. Do it step by step. Use them for yourself in your head first, or in writing. Try a diminutive of your "deadname" first, or going back to the full name again. Ask just one person to use she/her for you first, so you can get used to it again, and then ask more people to do the same thing. Talk with people who never had to call you they/them or by your other name, they will call you she/her and use your "deadname", it might help you a bit. In your head, try to distance this name and these pronouns from the abuse in itself, try to associate it with beautiful things and memories, or with your beliefs (like, "letting peoole use this name for me would be a feminist act", etc...). Step by step! I am sure you'll get there <3

As you said, the wounds are still fresh, it's normal that you need time. It will perhaps take some time but you will heal and you'll be able to hear your name and pronouns again, I know it. There's no hurry! Take your time. It's already amazing of you to learn radfem beliefs and become gender critical after years of identifying as non binary (and I am proud to have played a role in this haha!).

Have a good day and feel free to send me another ask/to dm me if you need/want <3