#and tomorrow i'm dming another thing

[say-hi-intrepid-heroes]

todays the day !

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

Another very tiring and amazing day at MCM ! I was cosplaying as Laudna, and it only added to the experience.

We woke up at 6am because cosplay takes so much fucking time !! And we had Priority Entry, so we had to be there at 9am. Because I had the amazing experience of getting an autograph from Marisha Ray, first thing in the morning (I was the 3d in line).

Guys. Guys. We all know the CR cast are the sweetest people. I would like to announce : yes, it's true, they truly are. Marisha complimented my cosplay, and was impressed with how many hours it took me to embroider the blouse. I had time to say how inspiring CR was for me : 1st time DMing and 1st time plating D&D, 1st time cosplaying, 1st time going to a con as big as this one... She signed a lovely Laudna fanart I bought on Artist Alley, and I later went and showed it to the artist who couldn't believe that has happened. Truly an amazing experience.

And then it was already time for our shared photos with Liam and Laura. That went by extremely quickly, still they were both so nice (Liam shook hands with everyone, and Laura was emanating pure joy).

Then the Baldur's Gate pannel, then walking out in the merch area, and buying dice. Got to say my favorite thing is talking with cosplayers, just sharing a smile, sometimes a word, sometimes a conversation. I tried to talk to every other Laudna I saw, just 'cause, but I'm sure I missed some of them. There's always tomorrow !

[nebulousneuroticism]

It was very hard to wake up today. I clawed my way to consciousness slowly.

Work turned out to be pretty stressful today. Not for any good or normal reasons, either--I got an email that they had somehow lost one of my onboarding forms (from EIGHT YEARS ago), and that it was now my problem because I had to jump through a bunch of hoops to resubmit it. One of those hoops involves having another person verify my identity, and it suggested asking a friend, neighbor, spouse, or relative to help. That made me keenly aware of the fact that I have no suitable friends, neighbors, spouses, or relatives nearby. In the end, I asked my boss to meet with me tomorrow and do it, but it's still really stressing me out: it combines many of my least favorite things, like an uncomfortable social situation, a phone call, and making myself vulnerable (in a way).

Besides that, my work today was frustrating because I kept running into roadblocks that I couldn't solve. It felt like the world itself was animated by some personal grudge against me.

Anyway. I was glad when it was time to stop, but even then I had trouble unwinding. I got myself some fast food for dinner, and I played a bit of a puzzle game, but the tension didn't really start to ebb until I took a shower.

I guess even now, I'm a little tense. Tomorrow's looking pretty tough after four days of being a shut-in: I have to go to the office, do this identity verification thing, and go to D&D in the evening. At least I bowed out of DMing this week, so I don't need to prepare.

Hope I can sleep. I'll have to get up early.

[thirstyforred]

2022 summary

i don't think i remember that much of this year, I feel like only 5 things happened but lets see

i did my first big bang and wrote The Devourer of Suns, which honestly i think may be one of my better works lol

i started a new job which at first was boring, then enabled by insanity, and got very stressful, and as of this week I also lost it (I mean I'm gonna still work there for the next months, but I also have to start '23 with looking for a new job)

i got the turtle egg in Guilt Wars 2 on the first try of the event - it doesn't sound like much, but it turned to be such a major problem that the event got nerfed so I'm counting it as an achievement

i began developing solo ttrpg/card game "Escape from Rissberg" and then it went fucking nowhere, so that's another project for next year

i decided to finally read that manga where the protagonist shows his hole, and yeah, Golden Kamuy definitely changed my brain chemistry. for worse ❤️

as one of the symptoms of that insanity i wrote a bunch of drabbles about the flaming rose lads, and also acquired one new oc

there was a brief moment when i genuinely thought that someone involved in Gwent was reading my blog, but thankfully it turned out we just have a really shitty heater that's poisoning us with carbon dioxide

i started dming the witcher ttrgp game for @tcustodis, @pissedoctahedron and @eeriehowl, and it slaps

i was for the first time in warsaw with @pissedoctahedron it sure is a city in Poland 😛

i did sorta give up on Sublime, but it's still living in my head rent-free 👌‍

i did try to clean up my verse about which I plan to write, wip name Saint's Bleed Gold and I wanted to write like a legit short story, but instead I pivoted into 'trash webnovel' genre and I'm having a lot of fun. you can catch Ascendant from Saov on Tapas, Wattpad, Webnovel or Neovel, yes I'm posting it on all these sites, I'm ok i swear

overall i wrote and posted something like 50k words, which nice, I will add that to my CV that I'm gonna send tomorrow to cdpr

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary302

7/17-18/24

wednesday - thursday

tired tired tired... up too late rn.

so that means soon i sleep.

some good stuff w/ music today, i got to work on some stuff, another track has been exported so i can listen and see what i think about it, it certainly is a weird one, i want it to be the opener cuz i think the chorus is super catchy in a way that will surprise people, but idk about that honestly. to someone like me though, it is cute and fun. i wanna figure out vocals for that. i also figured out the issues i think with the other song re: drums/ease of understanding it/following what it does. i had to simplify one pattern a bit, make it less idk, offbeat basically.

anyway, outside that, today was errands day... i was able to get pizza too and there are leftovers. my gf was very tired today though, cuz she got in at 3 am yesterday and had to quit the job because they were like, wednesday is a mandatory day, and she was like, i can't do 7 pm to 7 am, and then they were like, well okay. and so that's that. it's not like it would have been too much longer than this anyway. i just feel bad for her cuz she was doing that so much she didn't really have time to process how draining that was for her, so she's kind of crashing today.

anyway, what else. my gf's brother is driving her mother truly coo coo bananas, it's very sad to see. i hope he will become not awful soon. obviously he won't but you know. oh and i felt cute today, at least, or mostly, it's very strange how i will oscillate but part of it really is being able to dress up, i suppose. i didn't take selfies though. idk, i should have, to document it. i feel dumb for not. isn't that so weird? the need to collect proof of feeling cute/ see if i ought to, that's so psycho generally, but the sense i missed out, i feel like i'm lying just putting it in text. something's wrong with me but it just goes too deep to really deal with. or deal with here. it's just me being crazy.

anyway, my gf is doing better now, she'll be even better tomorrow, the whole experience has made her more grateful for the kind of work she already does, she is not used to doing anything very physical, and she did way too much of it in too short a time. i've done more over my whole life but to be like, worked so hard over 4 days is majorly fucked, and it's so hot outside, this warehouse she was in had like little to no ac, probably just some swamp cooler somewhere in the massive thing. maybe i should not have encouraged her to sign up for this because it sounded so crazy and funny... but some parts of it were crazy and funny, but i can't describe those, so do your best to #imagine.

uhmm,, what else. ... too many people dming me on discord right now. it is 3 am... i want to sleep .

it's weird. everything just feels weird. i wish i were not feeling so weird. i don't know what i feel weird about. it's almost like a pregnancy. i dunno. i keep thinking about pregnancy. do i wish i could get pregnant? not really. i wish for other things. if i listed all the stuff i wished for, if i got it all, i think i'd just turn to smoke cuz it's so self negating half the time. i wish my hips were a little wider. i wish i was prettier. i wish i were what i am. i wish i weren't anything. i wish people didn't look at me. i guess people keep wishes so they can have little hypocrisies and discard them just as quick but i hold onto everything . i don't eat all of any animal, but i guess i want to eat all of myself.

why am i thinking about pregnancy though? it's weird. it's been a thing for a while in my head, never before has it been like this. i guess there's something like, can i carry anything to term? am i fertile in any way? i can't imagine myself as anything other than,.. idk, not giving, i'm not motherly certainly, i am very cold, or i think of myself as being cold but i think really i'm sort of just weird emotionally and my gf says i'm sweet and stuff anyway, i'm not giving or warm in normal ways, i think i act too immature to really be warm in a mothering way, but i am, i don't want to say productive or useful, i guess generative is the better word, doing things, i guess i've always, since knowing the word, which has been for a long time cuz i've known it since middle school i imagine, or earlier, the word gestating. i feel things inside me gestating, and have felt that, a resonant chamber inside myself too. i don't know. i don't want a womb, this isn't like, me saying the opposite of how i feel. it's just strange, that this is anything inside my head at all.

final thing before bed, it's also strange how of all people one might need to contend with as a cultural influence, lana del ray is one of them, that she is still the producer of images of what people wish they were, what they are, what they think things should be like, a weird nostalgia which doesn't refuse the present, i guess this fantasy that right now is also the past maybe. i wonder if i'm off in the same ways, or if we all are, if that nostalgic illness is something we're all dealing with. i would like to say no, because i would like to not have to think about anything mark fisher said, not out of hate just cuz i want to move on from that whole moment where everyone was so dour about the idea the past could be strung up like a corpse, carved, repurposed, material, just flatly a material basis and set of methods to dissolve/digest, put those functions to rest and see what rises once again. i also do not care for lana's music, it is weird though that even her visual aesthetic/fans of her aesthetic + pose have crept into producing images / maintaining lines to images/things i like seeing. it feels odd. also a lot of those girlblogging blogs give off such evil vibes, half the time i feel like the ways they are, are just transphobic, i feel as if i am witnessing terfs, i feel fairly certain in fact, it's just all so weirddddd.

anyway , sleepy sleeepy sleepy , so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[minzart]

Breaks door down: hello! Long time no see!

So 👏👏👏 it's time we talk :)

My life is literaly 24h of pain now!

I have so many things to do, graduate high school, start studying for college (again bc no way in hell I'll pass this year) and start a new "school" (I have no idea how you guys call it) that has new subjects that I actualy care and am curious about, wich means I'm busy during all weekdays

Not to mention I'm finaly DMing a rpg every Sunday! Inspired by ffvii

Wich means~ things will change around here

I'll go back to schedule any twst ask, so I won't answer you right away like before

I'm closing the "twst yuu" tag, any asks about a Yuu that comes from another world or something like that won't be answered [yes it includes Musicaly traumatized Yuu, Deltarune Yuu, AC Yuu, those like that]. Those are most creations of anon's or other users, please do a post of it in your own blog for now own, I'm sure it will be very good on it's own

What about old asks? I'll answer them bc you didn't knew about this until today, tomorrow I'll close asks and won't say when they open again

What about asks that aren't related to twst? Those I might answer faster bc in all honestly I'm slowly but surely losing interest in twst

What about the other Aus you have [like sgs, bnp, tftu, etc]? I'll ask for you to send asks about them eventually, if you send without me having asked? I won't answer.

What about Arthuro and your twst ocs? We all have bias, and mine are those, Yes I'll still talk and answer about Arthuro, Finnian, Danna, etc.

Can I still talk about updates or something like that to you? Sure, those aren't as time consuming as AUs and those kind of things

And finaly a big THANK YOU to all of you guys who stick around after those changes!

Realy, this was, and will be, one of the few things to keep me sane in the coming years of my life

Interest changes as times move on, and I know most of you all are here bc of twst, but in all hosnest I'm losing interest to interact so much in there, will there still be things about twst? Absolutely, my obsessions don't go away they just slow down!

This is my first time interacting in a blog and a fandom, so now I'm understando a bunch of things creators do and don't do anymore, so yeah, I am not dead,a nd won't be for a long time, I just changed and hope whoever sticks around to see this little blog change as times move on likes the journey

See you guys around

-Minzi-

[horizonwalkers]

i have my first session as a dm tomorrow... its just gonna be character creation but i'm still super nervous. do you have any advice for first time dms?

First off! Take a deep breath. You’re going to do great- even if you don’t think it’s great- you will have taken the leap into DMing and that’s an awesome accomplishment.

Second off: here’s some quick tips and pieces of knowledge I’ve learned from both dming and playing that’s contributed to how I view dnd and dming.

You will have high expectations for yourself and you probably won’t meet them all the time. Regardless of whether you’re inspired by Mercer, Coville, Lee Mulligan, Hulmes, or even your home dm, you likely won’t DM anything like any of those people. You’re going to develop your own style and that takes time, go easy on yourself. 

The first rule of D&D is to have fun. Your players should be having fun, but you should also be having fun. If you’re stressed or frustrated, take a step back and figure out what the solution is. I highly encourage talking out of game to set expectations for both parties and figure out how the game can be the most fun for everyone. 

Rules are important. I might get a bit of hate for this, but the rules of dnd, especially as a DM are important. It’s important that you know them and take them into consideration when you choose to break them.

Think of the role of a DM as the facilitator. While you may have created the world and story (or tell it in the case of Prewritten Adventures) the players are the pieces that tell the story. Give them some room to play and go with the flow, but also make sure they know what your major plot beats are and that they should stay on track with them.

Specifically for character creation make sure to set the tone. If you’re running a grimdark dungeon crawl, their characters should fit the theme and it is okay to be firm with that. Creating a character, especially in a homebrew setting should be semi-collaborative. As a player, I’ve found I’ve enjoyed playing a character more when they’re properly integrated into a DM’s setting, even if I had to abandon initial ideas that excited me to get to that point.

Give yourself enough time for DM prep in between sessions, but also know that you can overprepare (I am a prime example of an overpreparer if you’ve ever seen screenshots I’ve shared of my notes). 

Check in pretty regularly with your group. See if they’re having fun and tell them if you’re having fun. If things aren’t working optimally, talk about it and figure out a solution. Whether it’s more railroading, more open world, or maybe even a bit of a change in theme, the best dnd experiences are the ones where every person is enjoying the experience.

It is also okay to try to DM and realize that maybe it isn’t for you. There are great dms, there are great players, and there are people that can do both. You’ll probably realize you have a preference once you’ve tried both. 

But most importantly: Take another deep breath. I’m sure you’ve got this :)

[static-void]

I have a chapter to read, a thing to build, a cave to de-ore, a master document to make for a campaign I'm co-dming, at least one chore to do, a character to spin around in my brain bc their session 0 is tomorrow (different campaign), another campaign to make plans for because I'm DMing that on Wednesday (very busy on the d&d front) and yet I am. idly scrolling online