#and to that person going “peace and love!! just block them sister!!” literally shut up weren't you the one literally time outing me

[itstokkii]

now that im back here's a little something for the kind definitely grown up adult souls who bullied me off for a week <3

[skywalkerstyles]

Kissing Lesson pt8

Pairing: Bakugou x Fem!Readee

Warnings: angst and fluff

Katsuki helps me inside the house, taking my jacket from my shoulders. My skin vibrates when he touches me, the tension is palpable since I kissed him in the car. I wonder if he can feel it like I can. I know what I want, what I’ve always wanted and it’s him. We stand awkwardly in the hallway, each outside out respective rooms, looking at anything but each other.

“Thank you,” I mumble, I want nothing more than to run into his arms and be his for the night. He doesn’t say anything, I sigh, turning towards my room when I hear him move, and then a hand wraps around my wrist.

I turn and he cups my cheek in his hand, holding onto my wrist tightly but gently.He drags his thumb over my bottom lip, staring at me with an intensity I’ve never felt before. “Come to bed,” he whispers, “With me.” he doesn’t give me a chance to answer, his lips are on mine and he’s pulling me back into his room, I follow willingly. I don’t want to fight this anymore. His parents are asleep,Mei won’t be home, it might as well be just us in the world right now.

We fall into bed, turning to face one another. He holds my hands in his, kissing them gently. I smile, feeling safe and content.

“I could have killed him you know?” Katsuki says after a bit, he brushes my hair back from my face. “I wanted to hurt him so badly.”

“I should have listened to you.”

“Did you sleep with him?” this takes me by surprise. The way he says it, beneath the nonchalance is pain, hurt, I can hear it. I know him too well for him to hide it. I’m glad it’s dark, he can’t see me blush.

“No.” I can hear him sigh, he shifts closer to me, resting one hand on my hip, the other running through my hair softly. I love the feel of his nails against my scalp. “Have you?”

“No. I’m not into dudes,” I slap his shoulder gently, laughing at his joke.

“Not what I meant.”

“I know. I know.” he pauses, I wait for him, “Yeah. I have.”

“With who?”

“Hana Sukiyami.”

“Ew.”

“She was my first girlfriend.” I lean in closer, intrigued.

“What was it like?” I ask.

“Sex is sex when you don’t love someone. It felt good but I didn’t feel that….connection.” he says.

“Have you felt that connection with anyone else?” I press, trying not to push to hard, but I am thoroughly interested in the conversation.

“Yeah.” he doesn’t say anything else. I poke his side.

“Who?”

“Go to sleep or go to your room.”

“Not till you tell me. Please?” he runs his hand over his face, before fistiing his hand in my hair. He pushes me onto my back and presses his body against mine, over top of me. He’s looking at me again, it makes me feel so small, but in a good way.

“I feel that way when I’m with you okay. You’re the only person I’ve felt that spark with and it scares me.” I’m breathless, my heart is pounding in my chest as he releases me and sits beside me. I sit up, leaning my chin on his shoulder. He puts his face in his hands.

“Katsuki I-”

“You’ve been in our family for so long….It’s crazy because I always saw you as a sister, a friend. But lately….I don’t see you that way anymore.” he turns his head, kissing me desperately, it’s quick but it makes my thighs burn. “I see this beautiful,strong woman that I would do anything for. Be anything for. Whatever you wanted. It’s crazy. I’ve never felt that for anyone.” I press my hands to his face and bring him back to my lips, kissing him softly, hoping I can reciprocate all the things he’s just confessed to me. I begin to lay back down, pulling him with me. But he breaks away, sitting up and pressing his hand against my hip.

“What?” I ask, he shakes his head.

“I can’t….I can’t…” my stomach flips and embarrassment floods me. What the fuck? I scoff, jumping up, he reaches for me but I draw my hand back quickly.

“Don’t. I’ve been through hell tonight and I don’t need your wishy washy hot and cold shit.” I stomp towards his door before he can say anything else and quickly go to my room.

I wake up the next morning still angry, still hurt and upset. I know how I feel and I know it’s real. And I know Katsuki feels it too. It could ruin everything. Or it could be what we always dreamed it would be. I’m willing to take that chance.

There’s a note on the fridge when I go to the kitchen. Masura and Matsuki are out, And Mei’is still with Kai. I’m not sure Katsuki is home until I make my way down the hall towards the bathroom. He comes out of his bedroom, eyes red rimmed with dark circles. He stops, his breath hitching when he sees me. I try to move past him quickly.

“Y/N.” he calls after me. “Let me explain. He walks around me, blocking my way into the bathroom.

“Let me through Bakugou.” he flinches, I only call him that when I’m mad.

“Not until you listen to me.”

“Listen to what? The fact that you claim to feel all these things for me and yet you refuse to do anything about it?!”

“How do you think my family will react if they find out? You’re like a daughter, a sister!”

“But I’m not though! They might understand!”

“Have you met my sister?!” I roll my eyes, shoving him out of the way. I glare at him as we stand alone in the hallway.

“You know something? You’re a fucking idiot!” He flinches at my words. “You have someone standing in front of you, who wants nothing more than to be with you and you’re too blinded to see that!” I slam the bathroom door shut and slide down against it, breaking into sobs. I’m frustrated, I’m confused. I love him. I know I shouldn’t but I do.

I hear him sit down outside the door, his back is probably against it. I look to see his fingers slide under the door, I smile. I did that when we were kids. Whenever he was taking too long in the bathroom.

“I know I’m an idiot….but I’m scared.” he sighs, I see him wiggling his pinky. I hesitate before wrapping my own around his. “People get angry about things they don’t understand. And this is all so strange, I mean I’ve grown up with you, I’ve been there through literally everything….I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“You know me better than anyone else in this world Katsuki..besides Mei, “ I add after a moment, he chuckles. “They might be more understanding than you’re giving them credit for.”

“I don’t know.” we sit in silence for a while. A question rests on my lips.

“Katsuki?”

“Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you want me to have sex with Ash?”

“Who said I didn’t want you to?”

“I just assumed because of last night.” I hear him sigh, I can see him in my mind’s eye running his fingers through his hair, trying to find the right words.

“Because….because I couldn’t stand the idea of you being with him.” I want to push the envelope.

“Why?” I ask. “Would it bother you if I had sex with just him or anyone?” he grunts, irritation clear in his tone, I know I’m getting to him, but I need the truth. I need to hear him say it.

“I….it’s….fuckin hell….yes! Okay? Yes, in any scenario, I would try to stop you. I don’t want you to have sex with anyone.” Katsuki’s pinky squeezes mine under the door.

“You don’t want me to have sex with anyone……Except you.”

I can hear the gulp as he swallows. It’s the loudest sound in the room. I want to open the door, see the expression on his face. But I wait.

“Except me,” he says.

“When did you first realize it? That you wanted me….For more than a friend.“

"The kissing lesson. That’s when I knew I was attracted to you….the night you stayed with me was when I knew I wanted you.” I let go of him, his hand disappears from under the door. I can hear him standing. I unlock the bathroom door and push it open. His face is red, and his cheeks have tear tracks, his nose is runny. It’s endearing. I reach out, wrapping my arms around him, he clings to me, his nails digging into my waist, I don’t mind it. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles into my hair. I kiss his neck.

“Me too.” we stand there in each other’s arms, it’s comforting, I can feel the sync of our heartbeats, our breaths. I pull back to look him in the eye, he still looks scared, unsure of himself. “I don’t want to lie….But if I have to so we can be together I will.” his lips part and his eyes widen. It’s a lot. I’m willing to lie to the people who love me the most just to be with the one person who has always been a sense of peace for me.

“So we’re doing this?” I breathe a sigh of relief, happy he’s considering it and not rejecting me again. “You sure I’m not just a rebound for Ash?” I shake my head giggling.

“I settled for Ash because I couldn’t have you,” I bring my hands up to his face, pressing our foreheads together, his chest is pressed against mine, my feet are nearly on top of his. “But I want you.” he kisses me softly, methodically, running his hands up and down my back.

“I’m yours,” he mumbles against my lips, making my heart leap with triumph. “It’ll be our secret for now. Till we can find a way…... to tell everyone,” his lips trail down the side of my neck, I run my fingers through his hair, tilting my head back to give him better access. “But I’m yours. Whatever you want.” He brings his lips back to mine, I open my mouth willingly, letting his tongue slide lazily against mine. It’s perfect.

“Katsuki?” I pull away for air, he smiles at me, it’s small and affectionate, I can’t help but to smile too. He studies my face as I struggle to ask for the one thing I want from him most right now.

“What is it?” there’s concern laced in his voice. I bite my lip, his eyes flicker down to it, “I want to do that.” his voice is low, his grip on me tightening.

“I want you to make love to me,” his jaw twitches, “I want you to be my first….If you’ll have me.”

[dokifluffs]

Best Friends | Hinata, Tendo, Bokuto + Akaashi

Pairings (not really couples tho): Hinata X Reader (gender neutral), Tendo X Reader (gender neutral), and Bokuto + Akaashi X Reader (gender neutral)

Genre: best friends!! 

Author’s Note: literally not even a request but all inspired by an anonnie who said “just a thought, Hinata does this thing where he befriend quiet people and makes them talk about him. That's just how interesting he is,” so whoever you are, wherever you are anonnie, thanks 😌

Hinata: 

Being best friends with this ball of sunshine meant endless possibilities

There was never a bland day whenever it was spent with him

If you were also interested in volleyball, he would love you til the end of time. The two of you and Kageyama were a mini trio but also duos with mixed combos of you and hinata, hinata and kageyama, and kageyama and you

Tsukishima and a few others on the team couldn’t understand how you were able to stay with them for so long

You were the brains of the three of you, which amazed everyone further of how you weren’t losing your brain cells by breathing the same air/ standing by them for so long

But the antics never stopped

Hinata’s eyes were always sparkling and his mind was so open to everything

You go to taste more life and experience so many more things with Hinata’s encouragement, keeping his promise to stay by your side through it all

You went to all the games you could and cheered him on, being a beacon of recharge and happiness when things seemed the most bleak in life or during a game

One of his favorite things to go with you were go on late night meat bun runs, especially on chilly winter evenings with the sky clear, a cool breeze that nipped at your skin

Eating the hot buns went perfectly after practices

Speaking of after practices and also life outside of school, his sister loved you

She looked up to you like an older sibling and whenever you came over to his house to help him study or just hang out, she was glued to your hip which was fine to both of you

Conversations could last for hours between the two of you but he also understood the times where you just needed the world to close for a bit or if you needed a break- he would always be there for you when you were finished

Yachi and you were also super close, bonding over tutoring hinata and kageyama so they could actually be able to play in games and go to training camps and etc.

He introduced you to so many new people from all over, especially Nekoma

Kenma and You bonded really quick as well over the topic of Hinata and from there, interests and hobbies outside of volleyball and such became topics of conversation

Throughout high school til he left for South America, the two of you spent every summer together for great periods of time, it was really common for his and your family to think you two were a couple but really you two were just super close friends like siblings

Seeing him on a bigger stage, you two were still close even though you two didn’t see each other everyday but there was mutual effort being put in when it came to hanging out

You were one of his many number one supporters from practically the beginning and he was so grateful to have you in his life

Tendo: aka best boi 

You two were like partners in crime and people saw the two of you and ushijima like a trio with iconic duo mixes

At first, he held back just a bit on his sarcasm but as the two of you got closer, you two were crackheads

He loved your sense of humor and how it felt so natural for him when the two of you talked about anything- whether it be a heart to heart or a joke, anything. He felt so secure compared to his childhood

He loved how easy it was to talk to you

Meeting him around the end of middle school and the two of you going into high school together was like floating on a cloud for him

He was really able to open up and you were able to help him embrace who he was. He was no longer a monster people feared as a person, only in game as a block monster

You were one of the loudest cheerer’s for him in the crowd, always able to find you somewhere in the front row and throwing a peace sign to you with a bright smile, feeling ecstatic

Back toward the beginning, before high school, the two of you prepped for the entrance exam for Shiratorizawa at each other’s houses pretty regularly and it paid off, both doing equally well and being accepted

Lunches together were basically a must, joined in with Ushijima and sometimes other members of the team and other friends

Got somewhat distracted whenever you showed up to practices but it also gave him a little boost to show you what he could do

He was a strong player on the team and you knew it. His entire persona changed once he was on the court and seeing the opponents being blocked by Satori was like a stroke to your pride knowing that he was your best friend and he just shut the other team out

This mans a weeb too. In college, where you two also went together, alongside Ushijima, you two would frequent the bookstore pretty often, buying some mangas, getting chocolate ice cream afterward

It was like an unspoken tradition that you two go at least once a month. Though, sometimes he would go a bit more since he shared his shonen jumps with Ushi, lending it to him

Movie nights were also a thing whenever the two (three if Ushi didn’t have practice or anything too) during the weekends, but they weren’t pretty common

Horror movies didn’t feel like horror movies with the commentary Satori made as well as your add-ons that made the horror-thrillers into comedies

Although he seems like someone who teases and makes jokes often, he had one of the biggest hearts

He was always one of the first shoulders you cried on, always there and listening to you intently or just being by your side

His teases and jokes with you were always said with a light heart, meant to get just a bit under your skin

But if things ever got too far, he apologized and made sure you were okay or whoever he teased

You were one of the greatest people in his life and he didn’t want to lose you

Bokuto + Akaashi: 

Any combination of the three of you was a literal, living example of buy one get two free asjkhasdj

If Bokuto was somewhere, everyone could expect to find you and Akaashi somewhere close, If Akaashi was somewhere, bokuto and you trailed behind not to far off but he kept a close eye on you, and finally if you were somewhere, Bokuto was sure to follow with Akaashi following him

It surprised people more if one was somewhere and the other two weren’t

Since Akaashi was officially the calm, cool, collected brain of the three of you and Bokuto was the wild and crazy one with a very peculiar way of thinking and acting, you were like a perfect mix of them

To Akaashi, you were sometimes a second child like Bokuto but you were just as intellectual as he was, sometimes even more

Basically, you acted and sometimes did things like Bokuto but you had the mentality of Akaashi that was also mixed with Bokuto

You met Akaashi in your class and not too far along the way, Bokuto appeared the the three of you clicked

You were pretty impressed when you learned they were on the Fukurodani VBC together

Your praises for Bokuto and your presence during games were a blessing, especially when you saw first-hand Bokuto’s emo modes

It didn’t take you long to pick up the 37 different weaknesses after you asked Akaashi what happened during one of the sets of the recent game

You became one of the managers alongside Yukie and Kaori, quickly befriending them and it was so ideal since if no one could bring Bokuto out of his mode during the game, you were last one that could

During summers, going to the festivals and street markets were a must

Akaashi had to refrain the two of you from blowing all your money playing the vendors’ games but there was no stopping the three of you when it came to buying onigiris

Especially what was known as the golden onigiris that were only sold for a couple days while the festival was up and they are only here for a year round

As a thank you to Akaashi, you and bokuto got together to make special onigiris and going grocery shopping with bokuto, you understood what Akaashi went through

You all spent holidays together like Christmas and special events like birthdays, exchanging gifts, going out to eat, and etc.

But the three of you were all best friends, protagonists of the world and there wasn’t any force that could change that. No matter the distance, the time in between, you were all protagonists

Bonus: Akaashi once walked in on you, Bokuto, and Kuroo having a competition with who could fit the most grapes into their mouth and he didn’t even react. he just sighed asdlkajsd 

~~~~~ Thanks for reading! Masterlist for more! Please do not repost anywhere else!

Tags (let me know if you wanna be tagged for all my haikyuu posts): @yams046  @mazey-chan  @sunboikyo00  @kara-grayson04​  @fortheloveofbakugo​ @tsumtsumsemi​ @osamuonigiri @sam-ate-giorno​​​ @1-800-wholesome​ @realityisoftendisapointing@plantisnotplant @k-eijiakaashi​ @pink-panda-pancakes​ @differentballooncollection

[copias-thrall]

I really liked the Papa III x F! S/o where the s/o was a typical shy and cute introvert, but this huge dork with those closer to her. Would it be alright if I requested the same with our dear Papa Copia (god I’m so happy to call him papa now :) )

Of course, nonny! Let’s get some sweet Papa IV up in here.

(Reference Prompt here. 😊)

Copia notices you because of your quiet nature. There are lots of Siblings that are vying for his attention and favors…and then there you are: sitting quietly during mass and reading the hymn book.

(He doesn’t have to know that you’ve been reading the same page the whole time while you admire him from out of the corner of your eyes.)

Every time he looks out, all he sees is your quiet dignity, and it speaks to him on such a personal level. While he’s grown to enjoy and embrace the showmanship of the Ghost project, he’s not a natural extrovert. So, when he sees you existing in your subdued state, he can’t help but yearn to be right there with you.

He sees you reading your book in the quad on a nice day, and he immediately pictures himself with his head in your lap as you read to him. When he spies you daydreaming in the library, he imagines what it would be like to play footsie with you under the table. As he comes across you sweeping the halls with your headphones on, he pictures giving you a homemade mixtape to listen to while you work.

Really, he wants to worm his way into the rich inner life he knows you must have.

He never does anything about it, though—in his mind you’ve been perfectly clear about your indifference to him. And he’d rather not stammer through an invitation that you’re only going to reject.

The mess hall is always a sticking point for Copia. He loves the attention—he does; it amuses him to watch the Siblings fight over who acquires his meal and who gets sits next to him. He’s still a man with an ego, and he likes it to be stroked.

But.

Some days, the whole scene just gives him a headache. On days just after an important sermon, or when he’s just back from tour, or when he’s spent the morning on a stack of paper Imperator has given him, “ASAP now, please, Papa”—it’s simply too much for him to have to be On for his admirers.

On those days, he has his Ghouls create a distraction (and Dew is always more than happy to set a fire) so that he can get in and get out with no one noticing. Then, he tries to find a quiet, out of the way place to eat his food in peace.

And that’s how he encounters you cavorting about with your friends.

You're out on the grounds because it's a fine spring day, and he can't believe that his this reserved, demure Sister is running about and chasing her fellow sister with a worm! You're laughing—not a coy titter, but a full belly laugh after you make a ribald joke about Imperator and a Brother!

Copia gapes.

You have a secret side that only your intimates know about? Well! It’s a circle he desperately wants to be a part of! (Even if he’s contractually not allowed to jest about the Seestor.) 

He imagines your laugh ringing out in his quarters as you let his babies crawl all over you (someone who doesn’t mind worms surely wouldn’t mind rats, yes?), and how you'd make him laugh with your uncouth humor. He can almost taste the domesticity.

But…he decides to stay out of sight—he doesn't want to ruin the party (which he’s sadly come to realize that, as Papa, he does quite often just by virtue of his presence)—and that’s when he realizes he actually has a hope.

You’re lying back in the grass, watching the clouds roll by, and you say,

“Hey, that one looks like a rat,” to which your friend responds, “That’s just cuz you have Popia on the brain.”

“I do not!”

“You think he’s gOrGeOUs, you want to KisS him, you want hUG him,” he singsongs.

“Shut it!” you screech as your face flushes and you throw a balled up napkin at him. 

He blocks it easily, and you lie back down with a huff.

“Whatever. He doesn’t even know I’m alive.”

Embarrassingly, the conversation shifts to how you’ve done it to yourself and if you’d just look at Copia instead of doing your best impression of a church mouse, that would be a good start.

Your face burns the whole time. I mean, having his intense focus just on you? 

You shudder. 

Surely you’d combust.

Copia bites his fist.

He could…? Have you??

***

Perhaps any of the other Papas would have been on you like white on rice…but research has always been more Copia’s thing.

Which means he spends the next few weeks slinking about like a bad spy (seriously—he might as well have on Groucho Marx glasses) trying to figure out what all your favs and interests are. 

And the Siblings are beginning to talk about it.

“He was behind a column, and I thought he was a statue,” hisses one. “He moved, and it scared the crap out of me!”

“I saw him petting the potted plants in the west corridor like a weirdo,” whispers another. “I hope Primo doesn’t hear about it!”

“I went into the broom closet to get cleaning supplies, and when I pulled the light on, he was just…standing there!” laughs someone else. “I was too surprised to be startled. He just coughed and excused himself!”

The only weird thing to you is that you seem to be the only Sibling who hasn’t witnessed Copia being adorable odd.

You often sit by that pillar to read when it’s chilly outside, and that area in the west corridor is where you sweep. Heaven!—that broom closet is next to the wash station you use! How haven’t you seen him even once?

Dew thinks this is great fun. He’s been suggesting even more ridiculous schemes (that Swiss and he giggle about back in the Ghoul dorms) for Copia to “overhear” you and your party—which Copia is taking down in earnest.

Aether thinks Copia’s being a dumbass and guesses he and the girls will have to fix this mess. Cirrus thinks Copia just needs to learn the hard way (“He’s taking advice from Dew—how does he not know better?!”), but Cumulus agrees. The two of them coral Copia into the practice space where they firmly, but gently, tell him to stop pussyfooting around and just kiss the girl already!

Copia stutters out a series of awkward rat noises before simply nodding.

“I have been procrastinating, eh?”

“You can do it, Boss.”

“Who’s the best Papa!”

Copia straightens his posture. “I am.”

***

You’re staring out the window in the classroom—woolgathering instead of dusting—when you hear a quiet throat clear behind you. You nearly jump out of your skin and hurriedly turn to make your excuses.

What you’re expecting is Sister Imperator on one of her shadow runs—but what you see is a one (1) Papa in his casual blacks (that still seem vacuum-sealed onto him) looking at you with eyes full of mirth.

It’s with great effort that you yank your eyes from his thighs up to his face.

“Oh! Your Dark Excellency, sir! I-I-I…” you stutter before composing yourself. “If you need the room…?”

A smirk turns up one side of his lips as his white eye twinkles at you.

“It is you I wish to be seeing.”

You toss the duster to the side and smooth down your habit.

“M-me?”

“Sí.”

Did you do something wrong??

You worry nervously at the sides of your habit.

“I—” Copia starts, then suddenly looks unsure. He runs his hands over his head, smoothing his thick hair back into place.

He starts again, his speech clipped and formal.

“Would you do me the honor, Sister, of joining me for dinner?”

 “I—dinner?” Like a staff dinner? Or...?

Copia blinks at you.

“I am asking you on a date.”

You blink right back.

Just you and him? Alone… 

His face turns into lines of apprehension.

“Mi scusi—perhaps I am mistaken.”

He starts to back away, and you finally find your voice.

“Wait!”

When he stops, you gulp and take a deep breath.

“I would like that, Your Dark Excellency.”

A look of relief smooths his worried expression right before he smiles at you.

“Ah…‘Papa’ is fine, Sister.”

He takes his leave of you, closing the door behind him.

You manage to hold yourself together for another moment before you let out a loud whoop and jump up and down (and unbeknownst to you, Copia is standing just outside the door, beaming).

***

Dinner went over smashingly (literally—between the nervous energy of two of you, a plate, a goblet, and a wine bottle all ended up in pieces). Copia was the perfect mix between awkward rat man and smooth Papa, and you felt comfortable enough to engage easily in conversation with him. 

You’d been a little trepidatious about after dinner (Copia certainly had not absented himself from the pleasures afforded to a Papa), but the only thing you’d done in his quarters was to meet his rats.

He’d walked you back to your room, then asked if he could kiss you. It was just a press of his lips to yours as he’d cupped your cheek, but it had felt like a promise.

The two of you end up making a perfect couple, actually. Copia, of course, respects your quiet demeanor, but it’s more than that—he understands it. The only time he singles you out is when you need to be his date to a clergy function or Abbey party—and he always gives you forewarnings for those!

On the flipside, you and he have the high capacity to be total dorks. The two of you feed off each other's humor, often being the only two in the room cracking up as you wheeze half-uttered statements at each other while the rest of the gathered looks on with pained expressions.

But neither of you care. 

You finally have your Papa, and he’s made all of his imaginings with you a reality. 

[samsonet]

Power Trip

In which Piers is an actual bad guy and does actual bad guy-things.

*

Obstruct is a dark-type move. It’s unique among dark-type moves in that it is a straightforward block. In fact, it works remarkably like the move King’s Shield. But while Aegislash is the partner of kings, Obstagoon have traditionally been seen with traitors and outcasts.

Piers made his peace long ago with being the outcast of the league. They get a heel, and he gets a nice paycheck and a region-wide audience. He’s always been more comfortable as an outsider anyway. After all, he’s from Spikemuth.

The crowd roars when Leon’s Aegislash protects itself. They jeer when Obstagoon does the same.

Not like it matters, anyway. Of course Leon wins.

The champion grins as they shake hands, praising Piers on training his Pokémon so well. There’s no use returning the compliment. He gives a strained smile and waves dismissively to the cameras as he walks off the pitch.

“Leader Piers! Why didn’t you Dynamax when Leon did?”

“Do you think your unusual battle style caused your defeat today?”

“Can you tell us about the album you’re currently working on?”

He doesn’t answer any of them. He doesn’t have to; his contract is very clear that he is only obligated to talk to reporters at press events, and only if he’s been given twenty-four hours’ notice that there will be a press event. Besides, the questions they’re asking now will just have the same answers he’s given before. He hates repeating himself.

*

Aura Wheel is a dark-type move. Or it is half the time, anyway. It’s funny. While the dark type is mostly defined by pragmatic actions, it is also associated with, well, darkness. There’s no “light” type, but if there was one, it would be electric.

Piers congratulates himself again on choosing the perfect partner for his sister.

He wants Marnie to shine. He may be biased, but he thinks she's the most amazing person on earth. She’s a good person, better than he is, and she’s a good battler, better than he is. If anyone deserves to be champion, it’s her.

But success in the league takes more than talent. It takes a willingness to follow the league’s standards, it takes well-faked enthusiasm, it takes marketability.

So Piers is more than willing to use his influence to give her an edge.

He starts with his gym trainers’ admiration of Marnie, encouraging them to cheer for her at her matches. He gives them a name: Team Yell. Soon there are others joining the fan club. Nobody complains about his directions.

Fandom is part of the spectacle of the league. Piers is the leader of Team Yell, but officially, he’s not responsible for any mild mischief a fan gets up to. He doesn’t even direct them to do much. At least, he doesn’t direct the grunts. His gym trainers, yeah, they do the important stuff.

Rose is up to something. It’s big — Piers knows this because every project the chairman takes on is. It’s shady — Piers knows this because it’s not like the man to keep his projects quiet.

He sends Team Yell around the region and does some investigating himself. Nobody questions why Piers is suddenly showing up to league meetings; they’re just happy that he is. He comes to Rose Tower when he’s invited, and he stays even after the meetings are over. He walks through the lesser-used stairways, down the closed-to-the-public halls.

That’s when he hears the name Eternatus.

Luckily for him, Macro Cosmos’ grunts don’t seem to realize the importance of secrets. From scattered conversations he figures out that there’s a great big something in Hammerlocke, under the energy plant. It’s not league-approved, but then Rose is perhaps the only man in Galar more powerful than the league.

If Piers is smart, he can find a way to use this.

So he starts spending more time in Hammerlocke. It’s fun, actually; he and Raihan are friends, and they’ve managed to make a lot of progress on their DnD campaign. They even train together sometimes, making use of Raihan’s 24/7 access to the stadium.

Being a specialist means knowing when to taunt and when to flatter.

* He’s hanging out with Raihan when the latter says, “Wanna see something?”

Of course.

Raihan slides his key card by the elevator and takes him to the bottom floor.

The basement smells of gasoline. There’s a large orb in the center of the room; this, Raihan tells him, is Eternatus. See the tubes here? That’s where Rose is going to store the energy of the Pokemon. See this gadget here, only a couple inches bigger than Raihan’s hand? It’s Rose’s plan B, meant to control the beast if it gets out of hand.

Raihan starts his explanation calmly, but as he goes into detail, a touch of hysteria enters his voice.

“All this… It’s scary, right? This thing is so powerful and we’re depending on a piece of metal to control it. Literally nobody else seems to have a problem with it. That’s weird, isn’t it? Or is it weird that I’m terrified?”

“Not weird at all, mate. I’ll admit it’s giving me the creeps, too,” he says. But his eyes are drawn to that blinking piece of metal on the table.

The control switch. Something that would reverse the power of the wishing stars and calm the monster down.

It’s not that he thinks his little sister can’t beat Leon legitimately. She definitely can. But he taught her to use dark-types, and dark-types don’t play fair if they can help it.

When Raihan’s back is turned, Piers snatches up the switch and slides it in his sleeve. It fits comfortably between his wrist and elbow. If he curls his fingers just so, he can hold it in place without being obvious.

Sorry, Leon, he thinks. It’s nothing personal.

Thief is a dark-type move, too.

*

Piers meets Leon’s brother soon after. The kid is bright, and he definitely has talent of his own. He does tend to overthink things, but Piers has seen worse flaws. The Yell grunts say that this kid made Marnie smile within five minutes of meeting her. Anyone who can do that has earned some respect in Spikemuth.

“Good job, kid. You’ve got style.”

Hop beams. “Thanks! See you later!”

Leon’s other endorsee? Well, she exists. She arrives, she wins, she leaves. Real quiet, that one.

He doesn’t see them again until the night of the semifinals, when Marnie comes to him in her version of a panic. Her friends (friends!) Gloria and Hop were waiting for Leon to meet with them, but he never showed. They’re worried. Marnie’s worried. Piers is not. He suspects he knows where Leon is, and why.

(Rose loves his speeches.)

He sends the kids on a fool’s errand with the excuse of distracting the Macro Cosmos trainers. While they’re gone, he heads up the tower himself. All it takes is a few psychic commands from Malamar to get a lift key and remove distractions.

On the top floor, Piers makes his presence known. “Hey.”

That gets Rose to shut up. Hard to monologue when there are witnesses, hm?

“Yer brother’s waitin’ for ya. You’d better go get him that dinner you promised.” He gives Rose a steady glare. “Unless I’m interruptin’ somethin’?”

The chairman smiles. “It’s alright. Leon, think about what I said.”

For most of the elevator ride down, Leon is quiet. Then he says, “Thanks for rescuing me. You’re a good friend, Piers.”

“Don’t say that. I’ve got a reputation t’ uphold.”

*

As expected, Rose’s plan goes horribly wrong. The safeguards fail; Leon is called to Hammerlocke; all of Galar gets to see just what kind of men their chairman and champion are.

Marnie’s friends try to leave the stadium. Hop is determined to help Lee, apparently, even though Leon is the unbeatable champion and Hop has nowhere near the experience or raw strength his brother does.

Piers knows he’s a bastard, but he isn’t going to let Marnie’s friends get themselves killed on a hopeless mission.

“You can’t just run off to Leon an’ leave me all alone. I’m bored. Do me a favor an’ keep me company here, yeah?”

“No!” Hop cries. “Lee needs us! We won’t let you stand in our way!”

It’s heartwarming that Hop wants to rescue his brother. Piers is sympathetic, even.

But he will not allow these kids to interfere.

“Then I think I’ll invite Team Yell along, and we'll have ourselves a bit of fun, shall we?”

[imagining-supernatural]

The Confession

Part 27 of Seventy Percent

Series Summary: When you left on your trip to Vegas, you’d planned on letting loose for one last weekend before heading back to reality and getting your affairs in order so your best friend wouldn’t be left cleaning up your mess when your cancer finally ended your life. What you hadn’t counted on was waking up married to a celebrity who has a knight-in-shining-armor complex, connections with an oncologist, and amazing insurance…

Chapter Summary:  You and Sebastian spend more time in the hospital talking

Word Count: 2,621

Warnings: Brief mentions of abortion & suicide, not an accurate timeline of medical recovery

God, you hated sleeping in hospitals. Mostly because sleep was impossible. It seemed like as soon as you finally fell asleep, a nurse was waking you to take your vitals.

“Sorry to wake you, just gotta check on some things,” a nurse you’d never seen before woke you quietly.

Seb shifted behind you, arms tightening until he was awake enough to process what was going on. He grunted something that could have resembled words, had he been more awake. As it was, he sounded like a caveman as he slipped from the bed to the chair. Once the nurse completed her quick exam, he wasted no time in returning to his place beside you, this time under the covers.

“It’s useless to try and convince you to go home and get some actual sleep in an actual bed, right?”

“Right,” he replied, curling his body around yours even more. As much as you hated to admit it, it made you feel better. Not good, because you doubted you could ever feel good about what you’d done, but having him hold you so tight seemed to calm your nerves that had begun to fray during your fight on Saturday.

Once Seb set his mind to something, you knew he didn’t give up. After all, that was what had gotten you into this predicament in the first place. Had he not set his mind to flying you out to New York to meet Doctor Helen Sharpe, you’d probably be back in Utah, living out the last few weeks of your life.

But here you were: cancer free.

And now he’d set his mind to riding out whatever your relationship with him would turn into. He found out he truth about your past and he was still here, holding you.

Maybe it was that reminder, but you found that you were able to fully relax into his arms, even going so far as to twine your fingers with his. He squeezed your hand once before he went lax at your back, falling back asleep.

“It’s like Skip-Bo on steroids,” you explained to Brenda the next day.

She sat on the other side of the table that Sebastian had acquired from somewhere in the hospital. “I haven’t played Skip-Bo in ages.”

“You’ll catch on quick. So, in my version of Nerts, everyone gets their own Rook deck. Each deck has a mark on the back to distinguish it from the others. There are no turns; everybody just goes for it.” You finished explaining the rules, then started playing. When you’d taught Seb a few months ago, it had just been the two of you and he was surprised at how much crazier it was by just adding one person.

By the time Brenda had to get back to her rounds, you’d played six hands and she was beating both you and Seb.

Shuffling your deck, you rolled your eyes. “I hate it when you teach someone a new game and they’re better at it than you are in less than an hour.”

“You literally just had brain surgery. I’m pretty sure you weren’t on your A-Game.”

“Okay, but I have a friend who refuses to play Nerts with me because he hates losing every single time, so this just feels wrong, brain surgery or not. It’s not fair at all.”

“Life ain’t fair, sweetheart.”

“Don’t I know it,” you mumbled while wrapping a rubber band around your Rook deck.

He glanced at the shut door and took a deep breath. The light-hearted atmosphere in the room dissipated. “Hey Y/N, I’ve been wondering… Your dad died in a house fire. You were at Jasmin’s house all night. How did you… How could you have…”

“How’d I do it? Kill him?” He nodded at your blunt words and you sat back, thinking of the shortest way to say it. “I got home from school and he told me that mom had been arrested for public intoxication or something and that he was going to use this time without her to, uh beat her bad genes out of me.” As if those were the genes that needed to be beaten out. “And, I don’t know. I guess I just snapped. Eliza had been gone for years, so she wouldn’t be hurt. Mom was locked up and couldn’t show up and get hurt either… So, later that night he passed out on the couch and…”

You took a deep breath and looked away from him, focusing on the door to the bathroom. You’d never said these words aloud before. Jasmin and your sister never asked how you did it. They never asked why you did it. They just took you at your word and let it be.

“I spilled the rest of his whiskey on his shirt and the couch then lit a cigarette and put it between his fingers. Grabbed my backpack and walked the few blocks to Jasmin’s house. Our neighbor reported the fire half an hour later.”

“So you didn’t kill him. Not really.”

“Indirectly,” you challenged, looking straight at him again.

“Indirectly, huh?” He sat forward in his chair, elbows on knees, and trained his eyes right on yours. “Is that how you killed the person after your dad? You said you killed someone before him and after. You consider the abortion to be the first person you killed right? So…”

You grabbed Brenda’s deck of Rook cards and started shuffling them, holding Seb’s gaze. “You seem to know more than I do, so why don’t you tell me?”

“I think you blame yourself for your mother’s death.” You flinched, finally breaking eye contact. Unfortunately, Sebastian kept talking. “And judging by that reaction, I hit the nail right on the head.”

“She loved my dad,” you whispered. “I don’t understand it, not with what he did to us, but she did. Then I killed him and… I guess she didn’t have anything left to live for.”

The hum of medical machinery and faint chatter from the hall filled the air until Sebastian processed your words. Softly, so softly, he reached across the table with an open hand and waited until you gave in and reluctantly placed your hand in his. His blue eyes seared into yours. “I wasn’t there, so I don’t know what happened. I never knew your mom, but… what if you’re looking at it the wrong way?”

“I killed my dad, and a few months later my mom killed herself. That’s not coincidence, Seb.”

“I’m not saying it is.” His agreement surprised you. “I’m just saying, maybe her motivation wasn’t love for your father.”

“Then what is it?”

“Maybe she stayed alive so long because of you. Because she wanted to protect you from him as much as she could. And as soon as he was gone… she didn’t have that responsibility. She knew you could take care of yourself and she just… couldn’t go on. And she didn’t have to go on.”

That… couldn’t be it. She wasn’t a strong person. She couldn’t have protected you from him any more than you could have stopped him.

But you hadn’t considered that side of the argument before. Either way, his death had caused hers. But, if Seb was right… Then you’d given her the peace of mind she needed to finally let go. She was a shell of a person by the end and while you wish she hadn’t died, you couldn’t blame her for it. Picking yourself up after years and years of an abusive marriage had to be so fucking difficult, and she just wasn’t strong enough.

“Think about it, okay?” Sebastian said a minute later. While you were still reeling from this new view on your past, he gently ushered you towards the recliner in the corner of the room and pulled you onto his lap. With his arms around you and Brooklyn 99 playing on his phone, it wasn’t long before your post-surgery exhaustion took over and you fell asleep.

You weren’t sure how long you were sleeping, but when you woke up, the room was darker as the sun was falling behind the skyline. Seb’s chest was rumbling under your ear as he spoke quietly into his phone

“Nah, mom, the hospital food isn’t so bad. I’m sure when Y/N wakes up, she’ll be on me to go take a shower and I’ll grab some real food on my way back.” His mom replied on the other end of the call, but you couldn’t make out any words. All that you could feel was his hand rubbing up and down your arm and his chest rising with each breath he took. “She’s doing well. Better than I expected after brain surgery… No, I’m not sugar-coating it. She’s fine, medically speaking. I swear. It’s just that some personal shit came up and it’s eating her up… Of course, I am, mom. Why do you think I haven’t gone home to shower? Yeah, love you too. I’ll let you know when we can fly out and you can finally meet her.”

He hung up and tossed his phone over onto the bed before shifted just enough to somehow curl around you even more. He pressed his lips to your hairline. “Mornin’, sweetheart.”

“Is it morning?” you rasped, throat dry. It didn’t surprise you that he knew you were awake. After all, you’d been sleeping in the same bed as him for weeks now. You knew each other’s habits well enough by now to be able to read body language.

“Evening, actually. But time doesn’t really exist in hospitals.”

“Mmm,” you agreed. This time it was you who shifted, pulling back just enough to tilt your head up to his. “How’s your mom doing?”

“Great. Excited to meet you once you’re cleared to fly.”

“Mmm,” you hummed neutrally, eyes drifting away from his face to focus on the far wall.

“And she’s gonna love you, you know that, right? Even if you told her everything, she’d love you all the same.” His finger under your chin urged your eyes back to his. “Just like I love you all the same.”

Love? Your eyes darted between both of his, looking for any sign that he was joking. Any sign that he was trying to maybe lighten the mood, but you couldn’t find any. He wasn’t acting… he wasn’t bluffing…

“Oh my god.”

The softest half-smile you’d ever seen crept onto his face seconds before he leaned down and nudged your nose with his. “You seem surprised.”

“I’m…”

Memories flashed in front of you of you and Sebastian.

Seb buying you Oreos and ice cream. His bright eyes when you agreed to stay the night with him that first time. Him defending you to the paparazzi outside the hospital. That hesitance in his eyes when he asked you to wear the ring. Flirting via Skype.

And, god, that first kiss in the elevator. It was like he was drowning and you were the bubble of air he needed to live.

“I’m…” you tried again, but once again, words failed you.

“I love you, Y/N,” he stated, practically guaranteeing that you would never again be able to form a complete sentence ever again. “I know you, I know about your past, and unless you’re hiding a secret bigger than what you’ve already told me, nothing is going to change that. Even then, probably. How I feel about you isn’t going to go away.”

“Seb, I… What?”

He chuckled, bumping your nose again. “I love you. And now I’m going to kiss you. Unless, of course, you have any objections to that.”

Objections? What sort of objections could you possibly have with his eyes looking so sincerely into yours and his arms warm around you? “I… I probably should have objections.”

“But you don’t?”

“I, uh, can’t think of anything right now.”

His grin grew and a mumbled good later, his lips were on yours.

The kiss was gentle, at first. His lips were barely brushing yours, and if it wasn’t for his thumb stroking your cheek and your heart beating hard enough to crack a rib, you wouldn’t even have classified this as a kiss.

Then he pressed closer, stealing every breath you exhaled until there wasn’t anything but him. Every kiss with Sebastian seemed to rewrite your world, but this kiss completely undid everything. All that mattered was the minty aftertaste of the gum he’d been chewing earlier, the rough callouses of his hands scratching against your cheek, and his familiar musky aftershave scent enveloping you.

Slowly, he began pulling away, leaving a trail of kisses across your cheek as he chuckled. “I think I like kissing you when you’re hooked up to a heart monitor.”

His words made you realize that the monitor was beeping much faster than it had been just moments before and you ducked your head into his neck, huffing soft laughter.

“I like that sound too,” he murmured. “Been a while since you’ve laughed.”

“Yeah,” you whispered, risking a quick kiss to his neck. He brought his hand up to curl around your head, mindful of the bandage from surgery. His simple action anchored you to him; anchored you to this moment. This moment where the outside world didn’t exist. Where it was just you and him. “You know this isn’t over, right? I’m fucked up and a kiss isn’t going to make it all better.”

“I know. But I hope you know that I’m going to be right by your side through all of it. I don’t know why I married you in Vegas, but I know why I want to stay married to you.” At his declaration, you eased your head away from his neck and looked at him. With the sincerest expression you’d ever seen, he tucked your hair behind your ear and looked right into your eyes. “I’m all in, sweetheart. I’m willing to do whatever I need to, to get you good again. I have a therapist I go to sometimes who is great. Or we could find someone else, if you don’t want to mix that. Whatever you want.”

“I went to therapy in college,” you said weakly, about to argue that it hadn’t helped.

Sebastian apparently knew where you were going and broke in. “But you didn’t talk about everything, did you?” You shook your head and he gave you a reassuring smile. “Baby, you’ve gotta talk about it. All of it.”

A deep sigh escaped your lips and you laid your head back down on his shoulder. “I know.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead just before his chin came to rest on top of your head. “We’ll figure it out later, okay?”

“Okay,” you gave in, finally acknowledging that you’d stick around in his life. That you weren’t about to run away, and that you accepted that he wasn’t about to call the cops on you or divorce you right away.

A few minutes of comfortable silence tiptoed past. Finally, you stretched and climbed off of Seb’s lap. Your muscles protested, but you pushed through. As much as you’d love to stay curled up with Sebastian all day, your bladder had different plans.

The rest of the day was spent in familiar companionship. No more deep, dark discussions took place, and you managed to keep your self-hatred and depression at bay enough to enjoy the Lord of the Rings marathon Sebastian convinced you to start with him.

You knew this moment was the eye of the hurricane. The last few days had been hell, and the next few days or weeks would likely be just as bad or even worse.

But this moment? All was calm.

He said it! He said he loves her!! She agreed to stick around! Cancer free, love acknowledged, future plans... what more can you want??

Just the Epilogue left, y’all!!

EPILOGUE: THE END

[authora97writingupdates]

Okay here's the first look at my new Harry Potter series. I'm trying to make it better than the last time.

Privet Drive was a very upscale neighborhood. Or rather, that’s how the homeowners association wanted it to be seen. They had houses of upper-middle-class proper British families. Copy and pasted houses with copy and pasted lawns, and even more copy and pasted families.

Fathers in these houses on Privet Drive often worked traditional 9-to-5 jobs. In the other cases, they worked respectable jobs. Even the retired men yet to move contributed to the community. You know, at the insistence of that community.

The mothers in each house were homebodies. They tended to their gardens. They managed their children into proper British citizens. There was the occasional wild mother that enjoyed a man’s work or disliked gardening. Or the odd father that enjoyed staying home with the children, taking a proper woman’s role in the house.

The community on Privet Drive talked about those houses. A lot. The gossip piled up alongside the letters in their mailboxes about keeping a brighter garden, or in more proper child management. All those lesser families moved out before long. Often they moved to a nearby neighborhood called DimKeep Lane.

DimKeep Lane had very little in terms of real respectable British families. As it was mostly housed by rejected Privet Drive residents, they were not copied and pasted folks. Many parents worked well enough jobs, some even very respectable even by Privet Drive. But the mother did the job, automatically making them questionable. Gardens were not a requirement, children even less so.

48 DimKeep Lane held a very unique family called the Lafayette’s. They had no garden. The family was...

That mother was...

The father Mr Lafayette was...

Oh, but who could forget those twin girls? Twins daughters that were just barely old enough for school. A pair of black-haired babbling girls who were just the cutest! Also most mysterious. At any time, the Lafayette girls were found running and playing outside.

The younger sister, Darcy, was the more bold twin. Always with dirt scrapes on her knees or elbows. Lucky for their mother that Darcy hated wearing dresses, or she would always be washing out the grass stains. Darcy often wore basic shirts and jean shorts with tiny trainers in only the brightest shades. The girl played rough with the boys, unafraid of getting hurt or of hurting others.

That’s where her elder sister came into play. Morgan Lafayette usually played with or around her sister. Morgan looked very similar- their only true outer difference being eye color and hairstyles. Morgan’s amber eyes versus Darcy’s deep indigo, Morgan’s twisted black curls and waves versus Darcy’s iron straightness. Morgan tended to dress in shirts and shorts too, occasionally deciding to wear a darker scheme.

Parents went to that child, telling her about Darcy’s antics, or about fun local parties for the family to bring food. Some parents questioned why they weren’t looking for Mr or Mrs. Lafayette before immediately forgetting that question. How confounding! Morgan pulled Darcy back from all fights, worked out peace, then threw Darcy back. Many parents were impressed at the maturity!

Morgan still got into fights. They were few and far between. Usually involved with children taller than Morgan being- to put it bluntly- assholes. Ah, to be a child again! The parents of DimKeep Lane laughed.

The girls were finally attending school. Specifically St. Grogory’s Primary School for Year 1.

The teachers were happy to accept them. Rather, they barely noticed two more children but they were happy to meet the Lafayette Twins.

Morgan and Darcy went to their first day of school with little fanfare. To be clear, fanfare happened, just not to them. Other children cried and screamed, their parents cried too. None of them wished to part ways with their parents. Some kids cried because school sounded boring.

Dudley Dursley, for example. A fat whale of a child even at age 5. He screamed and yelled about the stupid school. They wouldn’t let him watch the telly or eat candy. Petunia Dursley tried to keep his spirits up with promises of toys and his friends being there, but nothing calmed her little Diddykins down.

Her second child stayed silent just behind her. If you ever called this child her’s, Petunia’s face would shrivel like she’d eaten a bad lemon. This child was not hers nor ever would be. Little better than a freak, her nephew knew his place waiting silently behind proper respectable people.

Said boy was currently 1/10 his cousin’s size, and that’s being generous to his cousin. Clothes hung off his skin, ones that clearly had never been worn by Dudley but belonged in a rubbish bin. The glasses on his head- round and black- were already being held together by tape. His black hair was wilder than the sobbing Dudley, barely covering a giant lightning bolt-shaped scar on his head.

Harry watched the other children, curious. His aunt and uncle told him his parents died, too drunk and worthless to care for him. As he saw other children crying and their parents hugging them, Harry wondered if his parents might have done the same.

Naturally, with so little to do, Harry looked over at the collection of toys out for a distraction. He saw the two children already parted from their parents. Only a pair of twins. One playing happily with big thick building blocks, one reading a book from the shelf.

He walked over to them. Morgan glanced at him from over her book. Darcy kept playing with her blocks. Harry sat beside Morgan, peeking at her book.

“It’s about a place that has raining food.” Morgan explained. Harry tilted his head. “My book. It’s about that.”

“How?” Harry asked.

Morgan hummed, thoughtful.

“Magic.” Darcy pushed another block in place, making something like a castle.

“Or maybe science.” Morgan replied.

“Definitely magic.” Darcy argued. “I wanna have magic food!”

“No way.” Morgan dismissed. “Magic can’t make something out of nothing.”

“Then it uses water! I don’t know.” Darcy huffed. She grabbed another block.

“What do you think?” Morgan asked the new playmate.

Harry stared.

Morgan stared back. Darcy snickered. “About my book.”

“You-” Harry shifted on his spot. “You’re askin’ me?”

“Yeah. What do you think?” Morgan asked again.

Nobody ever asked Harry a question before. Usually, Harry asked the questions. The Dursley’s always yelled at him to shut up. Aunt Petunia loved to tell him to not ask questions. Nobody wanted Harry to talk more. Harry loved the feeling.

“...magic.” Harry answered. He pointed at the odd rain. “That’s spaghetti.”

“It is.” Morgan nodded. “I like spaghetti. Do you?”

“I like bowtie noodles.” Darcy cheered.

Harry shifted again.

“It’s okay to not like spaghetti. I don’t like meatballs.” Morgan assured Harry. “Darcy hates the curly kind.”

“The curly colorful kind!” Darcy corrected. “It’s different colors but not flavors! That’s stupid.”

“I like spaghetti.” Harry pointed at the picture. “Yummy.”

Morgan and Darcy smiled.

The other children stopped crying as they talked. Parents successfully distracted them with the promise of toys or friendship, or even getting one of the teachers to help distract the kindergartener. One child held out, screaming about useless school and wanting to go home.

Petunia bribed him with more sweets- something the teachers discouraged. Still, the candy got Dudley to focus on something else. He enjoyed the treat as Petunia ran off, crying herself. Oh to leave behind her precious baby!

The candy soon vanished. Dudley looked around the play area for something. He saw his best friend. He also saw his favorite person to antagonize and a bunch of toys that would suit his idea.

Morgan turned a page in her book.

“You can read?” Harry asked.

Morgan nodded. Darcy snickered again.

“Morgan reads all the time.” Darcy explained. She moved her block castle to the side, letting her add extensions. “Like a nerd.”

“What’s a nerd?” Harry asked. “Is it like a freak?” He hadn’t understood the word at all. He just knew the tone Darcy used- a disgust like when the Dursleys called him a freak.

Morgan tensed. “I’m not a freak. Reading doesn’t make me a freak, it just makes me smart. Darcy’s mad I don’t wanna play.”

“It’s why we’re here.” Darcy replied.

Morgan glared at her sister. Darcy went back to the blocks.

“No freak?” Harry asked again.

Morgan shook her head. “Do you like to read?”

Harry shrugged. “Don’t know how.”

“That’s okay.” Morgan started using her finger to follow the words. “The pictures work fine.”

Harry, for one of the first times since coming to Privet Drive, smiled.

Dudley stormed up. Piers Polkiss at his side, sneering at the two ungirly girls and the pathetic orphan boy.

“Do you mind?” Darcy asked. “We’re busy here.”

Dudley kicked the blocks down. Harry watched, frowning at another toy lost to his cousin. Morgan and Darcy stood up, glaring at the fat boy.

“Stupid!” Dudley yelled. “That’s a boy’s toy! Not one for stupid girls!”

Darcy leaned towards her sister. Harry couldn’t hear what was asked, only seeing Morgan shake her head. Darcy rolled her eyes, glaring harder.

“Okay.” Morgan sat back down. She picked up the book, showing it to Harry. “We had spaghetti on Saturday. It had long noodles and red sauce.”

On Saturday, Harry ate old crusty bread that Dudley threw away. Literally. Dudley had thrown it against the wall. Harry ate it, then cleaned up the smudge on the wall.

Darcy sat down, leaning against her sister.

Dudley got annoyed that the other children ignored him. “Hey! Gimme blocks!” He yanked a block up, throwing it at Darcy’s head.

Morgan caught it. She stared at the fat boy and his friend. Somehow, Dudley saw something that Harry did not. Something that made Dudley want to get as far away from Morgan as possible. A latent survival instinct, if you want.

Instead, Dudley grabbed another block to throw at Morgan’s head.

See, as a child, Dudley expected that Morgan would be unable to catch it. She already held another block and a book. Her arms were full. She surely could not take another item.

Morgan dropped the first block. She caught the second. All before anything touched her face.

Darcy snickered, still on Morgan’s shoulder.

Harry watched, awestruck.

Dudley went for a third block. Piers grabbed two, ready to throw at all the black-haired kids. They threw with a force that all children considered lethal.

Morgan raised the book, using its hardcover as a shield for herself and Harry. Darcy ducked behind her sister, two blocks in her hands.

Harry could hear Darcy whispering now.

“Can I do it now?” Darcy hissed.

“No.” Morgan replied another wave of blocks hit the book. “But save it for later.”

Darcy saluted.

Dudley reached over. He snatched the book out of Morgan’s hands. The book pages tore under Dudley’s grip. Dudley threw the book on the ground. For good measure, he stomped on it.

The twins stared. Harry frowned.

Darcy reached forward. She held Morgan’s shoulder, holding the girl back.

Dudley threw another block.

Harry moved, blocking the twins’ body with his own. The block hit him. Harry was horrifically used to it.

By then, the teachers finally noticed the two boys throwing blocks at defenseless children. They rushed to the aid of the smaller ones. Lucky for them, classes need to start anyway.

But that little brave act...To them, it was enough. It may not be clobbering a troll…actually yeah it kinda was- point is, it made a strong friendship between the three children.

[monsterlovinghours]

More Than I Deserve

So here is the long coming second chapter of my self insert fic. @beetlejuicebeadoll this is for you, sorry about the number of times I said I'd post and didn't.

Tw: mentions of death, suicide attempt, depression. Chapter 1 is here.

The first few weeks in his new digs had been...frustrating. She just didn't seem scared of anything. Bugs crawling on her? She laughed and swatted them off, replying that she had lived in roach infested apartments and this was nothing new. Severed head in the cupboard? Nothing more than a gasp, a press of her hand to her chest, and a "very funny!" Shadowy figure standing in her closet, doors opening and closing on their own, disembodied voices and reaching hands clawing out from the walls? Acknowledged and dismissed, as if she were observing the weather. Not a single scream. Beetlejuice tugged at his hair, growling to himself. What the fuck was this weirdo afraid of?

Finally, when she had had the audacity to laugh at a dark figure skittering across her ceiling, he appeared in her room, hands thrown above his head and scowling. "Alright, I give up. What the fuck makes you tick? What are you afraid of?"

Molly had stared at him for a moment, then shrugged, lips pressed together as if to suppress a smile. "When you know the house is haunted, it isn't scary anymore."

He opened his mouth to argue, then sighed, dropping his head in defeat. "You make a good point."

"In any case, why do you have to try and scare me? Do you want me to leave?" Her voice held notes of earnestness, genuine curiosity. "Is it the house you want?"

"No! No, I don't want your house, goddammit." He folded his arms grumpily across his chest; this wasn't how a haunting worked. "This is just how these things go. This is what I'm supposed to do."

"Why?"

Beetlejuice paused, absently tugging some loose threads from the sleeve of his blazer. It was a while before he answered, his voice still carrying that signature rasp, and yet softer somehow. Pensive. "Y'know...I don't really know anymore."

Molly stood from the chair she had been reclining on, and reached for him. Out of instinct, he drew back, looking untrustingly down at her hand, and her heart gave an odd lurch in her chest. Still, she let her fingertips graze over the back of his hand, his skin as cold and smooth as marble. "Maybe you can just, you know, live here. Well, not live." To her relief, a hint of a smile tugged at his lips. "Its okay for you to just be here. Honestly, I kind of like having you around."

He snickered. "Babes, you're so full of shit, your eyes are turning brown." His posture relaxed a bit as she laughed, and she took his hand between hers, warm palms pressing around his fingers. God, that felt nice. 

"No, really. The house doesn't feel so empty now. It's a welcome change."

Once again, he chuckled, grasping her wrist and tugging her against his side, slinging his arm over her shoulder. "You're fucking weird, kid."

It did take some adjusting; after all, there was a bit of a learning curve when it came to dead/living cohabitation. But once he stopped pushing her out of bed because he was bored and she got used to the smell of damp earth on everything, it was remarkably pleasant. He was an oddly good conversationalist, having been around for longer than she could really comprehend, and would sit cross legged in midair, gesticulating wildly, his expression animated as he told her story after story. She didn't shy away from the fact that he had killed people; but then, by now, he didn't expect her to. "You're not trying to kill me," she explained, "so what does it matter? You're a demon, I expect human lives aren't as sacred to you."

"You know, you probably shouldn't be as chill with this as you are," he joked.

"Mm. Maybe. Death doesn't really faze me anymore."

The smile on his face faded slightly. "Lose someone?"

A pause. "Everyone." She looked up at him, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "Why do you think no one ever comes by?"

All was quiet for a long, long moment. “Look, babes, I’m not that great with...y’know, human shit. Emotions.” With a sigh, he settled down beside her, legs kicked up on her coffee table. “But if you wanna talk about it, I’m listening.”

She lifted her head, a soft smile on her face that didn’t touch her eyes. “Careful, or I might think you have a heart in there somewhere.” Her gaze faraway, she spoke, her tone carefully measured and emotionless. “Where I grew up wasn’t exactly a great place. It was a small town, most people were dirt poor. We weren’t well-off, but we were comfortable enough. Grew up just fine. The neighbor kids weren’t as lucky. Their parents made meth and child abuse into an art form.” Absently, she picked at the chipping dark green nail polish on her right thumb, still gazing into the far distance. “When I was fifteen, my older sister had her high school graduation party at the house, and my whole family came. Like, the whole family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins. The whole gang. I was a little shit and didn’t want to socialize, so I snuck out and went for a walk. Didn’t feel like they’d miss me anyway. Turns out the neighbors were cooking up a big batch of fresh methamphetamine that day, and something went wrong. The explosion was so big it took out half the block. My house and everyone inside included.” She snapped her fingers. “Just like that. My whole family, vaporized.”

“Jesus, kid,” he said softly. 

“It took me five years to really process everything, you know? At first it was pandemonium. The state got involved, since I was a minor, and no one could figure out what to do with me. Too old for foster care, not old enough to live on my own. I was checked out, barely spoke to anyone, and frankly didn’t care if I lived or died, so I literally didn’t give a shit where I ended up. I floated around for a while, until I was sixteen and could legally live on my own. Turns out Mom, Dad, and both sets of grandparents named me in their wills, so I ended up inheriting quite a bit of money. I bought a shitty apartment in a shitty little town and did nothing but marinate in a delicious stew of survivor’s guilt and PTSD for four more years.” There was bitterness in her tone; he could almost taste it in his mouth. She returned to picking at her nail polish, not even attempting to look up at him. “Then I started getting my shit together. Got my GED, took online university courses and got a bachelor’s in library science. Started going to therapy, started talking to people. Got a job. I relearned how to be a person all over again. I even got a girlfriend.” At last, she looked up at him, as if challenging him to say something, or perhaps gauging his reaction to her sexuality. When his expression didn’t change, Molly lowered her head and continued.

“She lived upstate, about a two hour drive away. We met online through a literature forum.”

“Pff. Nerd.”

Molly gave a soft huff of something close to laughter. “We hit it off, I took a leap and asked her out, and we dated long distance for two years. She was the first person I was ever in love with, the only person I’d gotten close to since my family died. Then around Christmas on the third year of our relationship, she was driving down to see me...and she hit black ice and went off the road. Killed instantly. I found out about it two days later because her brother found me on Facebook. Her parents...they didn’t know she was a lesbian. They would have made her life hell if they knew. I couldn’t even attend her funeral.” Once she stopped talking, the house seemed unnaturally silent, as if even small sounds were muffled under the weight of her suffering. “After that, I just kind of...shut off again. I figured I was cursed or something, that I wasn’t meant to be around people. I bought this house, found a job editing online articles, and that is the story of how I ended up being the town recluse at the ripe old age of twenty-eight.”

He was quiet; what could he possibly say? Throughout his long, long existence, he had seen worse things than the life she had described to him...but not many, and not by much. There hadn’t been a single human interaction in the time he’d been here, he hadn’t seen her leave the house except to take the trash to the curb once a week. Yet, she seemed...stable. At peace with it all somehow. There was a current of strength running through her, of fire-tested resilience that he begrudgingly admired. Beetlejuice glanced down at her and saw that she was staring expectantly up at him, as if waiting to see what he was going to say. With an easy smirk, he knocked her shoulder with his. “So...you’re into the ladies, huh?”

Molly was silent for a moment, then burst out laughing, awkwardly swinging her fist to land a glancing blow on his chest. “Really, you dick? I bare my soul, my whole tragic life story, and the only thing you take away is that I’m into girls?!”

Chortling, he dodged her second swing easily, darting forward to perch on the edge of the coffee table. “Can’t help having a one-track mind, babes. That explains why you haven’t fallen for my roguish charms yet.”

Scoffing good-naturedly, she relaxed back into the couch; he was relieved to see her posture ease, her body more relaxed after a break in the tension. “Oh, is that what you call it? Besides, what makes you think I’m only into girls, slick?”

He raised an eyebrow, all but leering at her. “Swinging for both teams, doll? I won’t lie...that’s pretty fucking hot.” He could practically hear her eyes rolling, but she laughed softly. It was quiet for a moment, then he reached for her hand. Ever since she had taken his in her own, he had slowly been testing the boundaries of how much touch she allowed. Hand-holding was fine, a casual arm slung over her shoulder was tolerated, but anything beyond that and she would flinch and ease away. Though, knowing what he knew now of her past, touch must be something she was unused to. Now, as easy as anything, his fingers meshed between hers, squeezing softly and holding back a sigh at the hot press of her living skin against his. “Hey, uh...thanks for telling me. Family shit isn’t easy to deal with.”

A beat, and then she squeezed back. "Thanks for listening." She smiled. "You know, for being a demon...you're pretty nice to me."

"Yeah? Well, don't read into it, babes, I'm just trying to get in your pants."

His eyes followed her as she laughed and stood, lingering with her hand in his for a moment before letting go and padding barefoot into the kitchen, a strange expression creasing his brow when her back was turned. Slowly, at the very roots, the tiniest flush of pink tinged his hair. This wasn't how hauntings were supposed to go. The dead were not supposed to feel, especially for the living. This was unnatural, topsy-turvy, wrong in every way, but even so, he was grateful that she had decided to try that summoning spell; after observing her in his time here and learning about her usual practice (what she called "green magic"), he knew now how outside the norm such a dark spell was. Yet she had called him, said his name with no hesitation. Hell, she had all but put out a welcome mat. For him. The pink in his hair slowly began to spread upwards as the barest hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth; not a smirk, a grin, or a disingenuous lopsided curl of the lip, but a genuine smile. Perhaps just being here wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[theladylovingcrow]

New Places, Friendly Faces Part 3 (Sanny)

https://theladylovingcrow.tumblr.com/post/189298208331/new-places-friendly-faces-part-2-sanny

Author (As known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Deviantart and Wattpad, @sammy_bluebells - Instagram, @imacrowcawcaw - main Tumblr, @theladylovingcrow - writing/art Tumblr, @insannywestan - Sanny shipping Tumblr

Fandom: Greta Van Fleet

Pairing: Sam Kiszka/Danny Wagner (Sanny), lil bit of Danny/Ronnie but he's quickly swept away with Sam

Length: about 2.3k

Warnings/Tags: Alternate Universe, Diner AU, No band AU, fluff, some angst, awkwardness, first dates, you know the ones where person A's date is failing and person B comes and sits with them, sorry i forgot what its called but that, hand holding, flirting, Sanny

Summary: Danny was nervous; he had been building up the courage for *weeks* to arrange a date, and now.... He wasn't quite sure what to think of the situation he found himself in. The night certainly wasn't going as he had expected it to - and his emotions had never ridden a roller coaster this fast. Hell, the beautiful angel holding his hand wasn't even the one he had arranged to meet 2 hours ago.

Author's Notes: Yep! I've officially adopted an every Monday post schedule for this, so that's cool! Just an fyi about the ending of this chapter, I'm so sorry to disappoint of you're hoping for a magical portal but that's not it (that wpuld have been cool but this is a mundane story)

https://theladylovingcrow.tumblr.com/post/189298208331/new-places-friendly-faces-part-2-sanny

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"Right... well, I'm officially off duty once I ring you up, so why don't you two get out of here and have some fun."

Danny fished into his pocket one handed, finding his wallet. He tried to open it and get a ten out while still holding on to Sam, but it was pretty difficult so he was forced to let go in order to pay. He thought it was a little overly dramatic of his heart, but it literally stopped beating out of disappointment for a second. God. He was already completely whipped.

Sam stood up and grabbed the keys, going back to his other table to put on his coat while Danny got his change back from Ronnie. She, now sitting at the table with her other brothers, waved them goodbye as they exited the cozy diner, stepping out into the frigid snow.

Sam immediately grabbed Danny's hand back, putting both of them in his pocket as he started to walk around the back of the building to the employee's section of the parking lot.

Sam suddenly stopped, turning to look at Danny. "Shit, wait, how did you come here? Do you have a car?"

"Uhh, my mom dropped me off."

Sam nodded and kept walking. Danny, for some reason, didn't want to leave it at that - Sam didn't seem overly judgemental, but he wanted to show that he wasn't a completely helpless dork.

"Usually I get her car on the weekends," he continued, "but she had some thing to attend over in North Star and she couldn't get a ride. She brought me here and gave me money for the bus to take home."

"Hey, well, now you don't have to take the bus!"

Sam grinned at him, unlocking the door to his sister's car and opening it for Danny. He smiled to himself and ducked his head, getting in. Fuck whatever societal expectations - not like they really applied to gay couples anyways - he loved to be treated sweetly, too.

Starting the ignition and carefully backing out of the parking space, Sam laughed, loud and happy. Danny looked at him curiously.

"Oh my god, I just picked up a total hottie and we're going on a rendezvous in my sister's car! This is crazy!"

Danny laughed, too, amazed at the situation. Like, holy shit, he was in this guy's (sister's) car that he had met less than an hour ago and they were on their way to who knew where. And he didn't even care! Never in his life had Danny been less concerned about the future; his music, his golfing, school, the world at large, none of it mattered when Sam was sitting next to him, singing along to Jimi Hendrix and looking absolutely stunning in the passing lamplight.

They drove for a time, speeding past cozy houses and dense acres of trees that outlined the starlit sky. Sam didn't seem to have a destination in mind any time soon, and Danny didn't really care if the car never stopped driving. The radio started to fuzz out as the got further into the woods, and nothing but an old talk show was coming in, so Sam had Danny put in his Clapton CD he'd left in Ronnie's car.

"I was looking for that! Figured I'd left it in here, but I don't get the car as often now that she's working more."

Danny nodded, enjoying hearing these little bits about Sam's siblings. It always interested him - learning small facts about people and getting glimpses into their lives, even more so when he was very interested in that person themselves, too.

"So, Ronnie is older than you, right?"

"Yeah, yeah she's a year older than me, she just started taking some classes at the adult school in Saginaw. She's been working at Gerald's for awhile, but she gets adult hours, now, which is good because we like to stay out late and go see her," Sam laughed.

"Oh, that's cool. What about your brothers, the twins? Are they your only other siblings?"

"Yes, fortunately. I don't know how Mom and Dad handled us, we're all within three years of each other. What about you, are you an only child?"

Danny had been right, they were all close in age. Four kids, two of them twins! He still couldn't wrap his head around how that could possibly work out for the parents, but they all seemed to be nice people and clearly got along well. It was pretty nice, actually, having a (potential) boyfriend with a good relationship with his family - Danny knew that it might of been a slightly unfair dating requirement, but he wanted someone who loved their family as much as he did.

"I have a younger sister, she's a freshman at Frankenmuth High. I'm a senior, by the way."

"Wait, what? Me too! I wonder why I've never seen you if we go to the same school. How have I never noticed you before?" Sam exclaimed, making a sharp turn and pulling off of the paved road onto a dirt track.

Danny contemplated that, too. How one Earth had he never seen Sam if they went to the same fucking school? Sam was, like, *magnetic* or something, it didn't make any sense.

Sam interrupted him, not meaning to, as he was about to speak. "Alright, we're here. Sorry, continue," he grinned at Danny, looking sheepish at cutting him off. Danny smiled in return, telling him it was alright.

They got out of the car, shutting the doors gently so as not to disturb the peaceful nighttime forest, and also not to dent Ronnie's car.

Danny resumed what he was saying as Sam led him around to the trunk and started rooting around. "About not seeing me at school, well, you didn't have a reason to until now. I mean, it's not like a lot of people know me, I don't have many friends and I kinda tend to stay to the side."

"I can't imagine how you don't have tons of people hanging off of you," Sam said, looking up at Danny with his foxy eyes glinting in the moonlight. (That was cheesy, Danny knew - but his eyes were beautiful) "Like, the only explanation I can come up with as to why you don't have half of the school constantly begging you to notice *them* is because everyone is crazy."

He blushed and grinned, enjoying the feeling of being the one flirted with for once. It was beyond comprehensible for Danny as to why Sam seemed so taken by *him*, but it wasn't something he wanted to give up anytime soon if he could help it, confusion or not.

"Wow, you are a smooth talker, aren't you?"

Sam snorted. "Hardly. I'm telling you what I honestly think, and it's this: I've known you for maybe two hours, and you are the kindest, sweetest, smartest, most beautiful person I've ever met. Past maybe my mother, but that's different. You deserve all the friends in the world, and you could have any boy or girl you choose, I'm sure."

"Well, I'm choosing you," Danny said, blushing and grabbing Sam's hand. He didn't know what it was, but he was being particularly mushy today. Luckily, Sam seemed to really like it.

Sam led him away from the car after locking it up, one arm carrying a briefcase looking container, and the other's hand holding Danny's. They walked through the light snowfall and under heavy bows of trees, going along a path Danny couldn't see but that, apparently, Sam knew well.

Danny had the quick thought that Sam was going to murder him, and maybe he shouldn't ignore his survival instincts, but he decided that Sam would *never* kill him. He also asked, though, just to be sure.

"Are you planning on killing me out here?"

Sam laughed his donkey bray, swinging their hands and taking another slight turn around a large tree. "No, I don't think I'd be able to physically overpower you, you're probably way stronger than I am."

"Oh, yeah? But what about a gun? What's in the box, Sammy?"

Danny was grinning inside, though externally he blocked it so that his facade wouldn't slip. Sam stopped and stood in front of him.

"I'll show you what's in the box!" Sam said, holding it up in front of his crotch like that SNL sketch.

"Ooh, my favorite!" Danny wiggled his brows, staring at the box where, right behind it, was Sam's dick. They both laughed, faces rosy and eyes crinkled.

Danny was glad that he had chosen Sam over Ronnie, not only for the fact that Sam actually liked him back, but that he got along so well with him. Even if the romance was a bust, he could tell that they would be very good friends, the connection was that immediate. And, he liked the idea of being best friends with a guy and then also getting to fuck his brains out at the end of the day.

'I'm getting ahead of myself, he said he has standards.'

'*No*, he said that he won't fuck you in his sister's car, but he wants to.'

"Sam, dude, where are we going? What are we doing out here, like, really?" He choked out, dying to know and also hoping that the plans included at least a kiss.

Danny hadn't been this desperate to kiss someone in- possibly forever, really. He didn't know why he was so intent on getting Sam's lips on him (though, he supposed he did: like, *look* at Sam's mouth). It wasn't like himself to be this out of control - albeit on his own head - but Sam had this effect on him.

Logically, Danny knew that if Sam wanted to go slower he would totally respect that choice and not even be put out about it, he liked just being with Sam that much. But, a kiss.... He wanted just a taste, in case this was the only date he got to have with Sam.

"We're almost there, and then I'll show you," Sam said quietly.

They continued walking, going up a gentle slope and then around a giant boulder. When they came around the other side, Danny saw that the rock had been obscuring a pristinely white, snow covered clearing. All around them, flakes fell softly from the sky, some decorating the trees, and others landing on their heads.

Sam turned to look at him, grinning. "Isn't it pretty? I feel like, whenever I come here, I've entered another dimension or something."

Danny nodded, his breath nearly taken away by the delicate magic of the moment. Well, it wasn't completely perfect - his nose was running, his gloveless hands were both freezing and clammy in Sam's, and he had no fucking clue where he was - but Sam was so, so beautiful in this place he had brought them to.

They stood and stared at the scene, taking in everything, from the stars peaking out from in between the clouds to the feel of their thumbs rubbing back and forth over each other's knuckles.

After a few minutes of silence, Sam broke it, speaking softly, "This is one of my favorite places on Earth to be. We come here during all seasons, but there's just something more.... *special*, I guess, when everything is pure and damp and quiet."

"It's really nice, I can see why you like to bring people here."

"Actually," Sam paused, looking shyly at Danny, "I've never taken anyone else. As far as I can tell, my family are the only people who know about it."

"Really? I- thank you so much for bringing me to such a special spot for you," he gasped, grinning back at Sam's little smile.

Danny was floored, absolutely amazed with this moment in his life. Sam had, for reasons he couldn't understand but figured he'd better stop worrying about, taken him to a place that no one else had been to. It was an intimate, deeply trusting gesture that he'd made, and Danny received it full-heartedly. The scenery felt sacred, now, in a way that he couldn't quite describe but that filled him with content.

"This really does mean a lot, that you're letting me view your spot. I don't know how to say thank you enough for trusting me with this- can I, maybe, take you somewhere special to me next time?"

He was shooting his shot, and praying to whatever deity felt nearest in this winter forest that it would hit it's mark. Sam had decided to take him here right after meeting him, so it *would* work, right? Danny really fucking hoped that it did, and that he hadn't ruined the relationship they were building. It was newly born and a little confusing, but in a good way; they were already fused together somehow, a connection running through them to make it seem like they'd known each other for years instead if hours.

"I'll go anywhere you wanna take me," Sam answered. He looked aware of how cliche what hed said was, but he also didnt seem to care. Damny was internally screaming with joy. "I wasn't sure where I was driving, at first, but I ended up on the path here, and it felt right. You being here feels nice and right."

Danny was smiling openly, happiness on display. He swung their hands and looked up at the sky, where the snow clouds where starting to clear, the last of the flakes finishing their journey to the ground. Sam leaned into him slightly, a pleasurable warmth permeating into Danny's body through the many layers of their clothing.

"This is perfect! I was hoping the clouds would clear up, cause this wouldnt really be much fun without it. Now, c'mon, let me show you the inside."

Danny was completely confused, again. "The inside?"

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@satans-helper @okietrish @karrotkate @lazingonsunday @lantern-inthenight @ryetheruler @oblvions @bigthighsandstupidguys @mountainofthesunn

[elementric]

WAKE UP CALL

So I had a sit down with myself and was wondering and daydreaming as I always do.  Either I’m with my phone talking to my best friends, as I just have a few. I can literally count down all my friends on one hand, as I always think it is very unnecessary having lots of people or friends around. However, as I’m not right now on my phone, I most probably making or listening to music. My strange affection to music and the never-ending desire to listen to it - insanity.  Yes, I don’t watch movies nor I watch series if you ask yourself right now.  Neither, or less apart of proceeding with my normal daily routine due to the fucked up lockdown. I had an insight within me, I was wondering on this particular day;

Us as humans why are we constantly so sad and why don’t we refuse the sadness in order to be happy. As the clear opposite of sadness is happiness and so vice versa. 

So I dived deeper into the thought, I came to the conclusion that most of the time, it is a matter of being stuck in the past and considering that the future will be exactly the same without even realising the present. To be honest, in the time when I thought about it, I been again catching myself in the spam of going back into my depressive and suicidal behavior. Feeling worthless and ugly, feeling I would just deserve shit as I’m shit. 

So I lied down in bed, it felt as someone sat on my chest and someone else just squeezed my stomach, I was screaming internally at myself to shut up and moved around in bed. “Worthless, so worthless you are, never someone will love you, as you can’t even love yourself” my Ego shouted at me, as my ego is getting very satisfied when I’m down and depressed because then mostly I do very reckless things when this happens or better what my ego is used to be doing, for example begging for attention, begging for approval. I couldn’t feel anymore, numb everything around me was numb like me. I could just feel how everything turns darker around me in my head in my heart. Only my Soul, just my soul shacked me and tried to shut up my ego, like a mother protecting her child. 

Very important to understand, my soul is me, my soul is the being I am and I did so much hard work to clear Karma to clear old patterns and to clear pain within me and fall in love with the host my soul has decided for this lifetime. 

It sounds so strange when I say oh I’m not a body, I’m a soul. Which is totally a fact, how would you otherwise function, the body the material body has just what 02 chromosomes more as a potato so the physical body is nothing else as an upgraded potato if you ask me. So I would never want to consider me being some sort of a body, I consider me more as a soul which has a body.  

I’m a soul, hosted in a human body. 

Anyway, so what happened to me, of course, I was in pain with myself, suffering in my own safe place which is  my bed with all the demons around me laughing at me and my ego like the King of the world the king of my world laughing the hardest and loudest, of course.  I decided to stand up from bed it was 4 a.m in the morning and walked around in the apartment. I had to throw up as I felt so horrible, in one second I thought I die or something like that. I brushed my teeth and made myself a coffee.

 I sat down, took a deep breath and realized; 

All that I feel, all that is going on within me, is not me, it is not the present me. It is not the woman who fought herself to a self-confident, aware, beautiful creation of mother earth. I realised very quickly that what is bothering me is the past, the past is bothering me, understanding in this situation as well; I have met an incredible man, he is gold, gold is next to him worthless, that great he is. To add on back in 2017 - 2018 I was in an extremely abusive relationship where I got shattered in pieces, mid of 2018 I had the courage to leave this guy I left different as I entered. I was disturbed, scared and full of anxiety; Can someone just imagine how much strength it took to pull my shit together, while my parents separating, my sister in war with me and no real friends? But there I was again refusing to give up and fought myself and fixed myself to the point where I’m right now. Pretty obviously, I would never allow anything or anyone to break me down, because just I know what took to stand on both feet strong my ground. 

Ok, let me come to the point, I realised at this point while having my morning coffee that the past is what makes me feel like how I feel right now. Used to the idea that anyway - man ain't shit, man will hurt and all man are the same. But this time, I took myself together refusing my toxic experiences to take over me and stood up for myself and said;  Try me this time motherfucking Ego, try me this time motherfucking past. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely thankful for my past as the past made me be me and I would not change one single bit of it. So I left to my car and drove up to the mountains, I live in the land of the desert so it is piss hot! But I wanted to be around the mountains, I wanted nature because I know there I find my peace. So I reached the hidden place my best friend and I always go to, to chill and get drunk (FUCKING LOL). I walked up the about million stairs to reach the bridge which connects two mountains and to overlook this beautiful scenery of crystal blue water and sandy warm looking rocks. I set down and started to meditate, I knew I was not alone as the spirits which live there tried to connect to me, in some weird point, they wanted to calm me too, my soul was crying and begging me to pull myself together, so no wonder why those spirits tried to help.  After an hour of meditating, I left-back and then turned to see my best friend, because that mofucker is my best fucking friend he understands me. On the way to my best friend, I felt something tickeling my face and it was a spider. I freaked out for a second, but I realised this little thing is a sign from the universe, maybe from the mountain spirits? The spider is a sign to keep moving forward. Anyway, I reached my best friends place had a chittychat and left back home. 

What I want to say overall, it is ok to feel sad and it is totally ok to be a bit depressed and even more, it is ok to feel scared that might the entire world want to harm you. 

But you know what is not ok? Feeding your ego that this is the "only" truth,  numbing your soul that this is the only way. Depressions are hard to battle and just I know how long it took me to realise what is the best way out for me, first I always refused medications and I thank my Mom big time for it. So what helped me is to allow the feelings and just forcing myself to do tasks, getting a routine (It isn’t necessary working for everyone) 

Next thing panic attacks, good Lord somewhere above or beyond what all it took me to find the perfect way out of it. (Try to counting down all you are blessings or what you are thankful for even it is "I'm thankful for my shoe or sock", it helps, it helped me also the same method can be used for anxiety attacks). 

Overall the hardest of all ego demons are the suicide thoughts, the one which makes you think if I’m dead everything would be just better, but I kinda have really bad news overall your 02 more chromosome potato body dies but your soul is immortal and bad karma will be transferred into the next life, even if you don’t believe so but apparently that's a side fact. So basically to understand the soul is who you are, brain - ego - I am  - is not who you are. (Let this sink in and take your time for it)

We all got hurt so badly, we all experienced losses some of us might get bullied in school at work and some of us might live with different forms of harassment, assault, or even abusive. 

If you are in school and you know that those stupid fucks could not accept you because the way you are, trust me YOU ARE SPECIAL THOSE FUCKERS ARE JUST a copy past of the society expected from them. But once you are home dress up like you want, makeup yourself how you want don’t hesitate. I created a Tumblr block to live my true self and I prove you that not even one single follower knows me personally. I took the decision because, sister/brother same, I feel like you, not understood by the world who is close to me.

When you are in a work environment who is toxic then think of looking for a new job, no regrets, trust in the process - STRAIGHT TALK - If you want to find a new job you will find one. When you are suffering a toxic relationship and you can’t leave then breathe deep in and allow yourself to gather all the strength it needs to leave, I know how it feels and trust me your friends and/or family is there no matter what.  When you are sick then remember that you will be healthy again, when you are suffering a mental disorder understand that it is your ego ruling you and it is ok. I guess the worst thing nowadays what is happening in our society is that there is no more acknowledgement and just comperazim without realising the beauty within us. No one tells anybody anymore - WELL DONE -  I'M PROUD OF YOU - even if just a small baby steps forward. And trust me it makes me sick! Because I just can't understand what is so hard in order to acknowledge the great process, basically every step forward is a step in the right direction. So if no one acknowledge you, start acknowledge yourself. FUCK WHAT PEOPLE SAY. 

I just want to say that the way you are made is the way you supposed to be and there is no harm in embracing it. Just keep in front of you always; even if this seems the end but it isn't, trust the process and trust the inner voice inside you. Keep in your mind - this too shall pass.

I kinda just sank into my words and hope that some of you will be really inspired by it and seek out for help, not from me but maybe from friends and family. I just want every single person to understand that there is nothing wrong with you, you are unique the way you are. Numb yourself of the ego, numb yourself away from bad people and open your ears to the kind words of your soul. 

I hope that one day the light will shine through your eyes so bright that all that sickos out there will be blinded. 

If no one said that today, if I might don’t know you, the only answer in this life is Love. Not love from humans to human it is Love for everything. Being in Love with the world with the life and with your soul and 02 more chromosome potato body. 

Elementric - Mind 

[yodawgiherd]

Candyman

Rating : M

>>> Read on AO3<<<

Originally, I wanted to do something altogether different here, but then ch. 116 happened and few people I follow went insane over Eren's abs (not that I blame them, boy’s a snack).

So, I made this instead :D

Enjoy!

Levi almost forgot how good it felt, with the recent weeks spent buried in annoying paperwork. The rush of a fight, the strain of body, the way his senses sharpened, and mind cleared, one singular goal remaining in his mind. To win, to defeat whoever was on the opposite side of the ring, who just happened to be his sister. Mikasa’s lips were thinly pressed together, with sweat beading on her forehead, a proof that she was taking this duel as seriously as Levi was. She always took her opponents seriously, no matter who they were, and Levi thought that it’s surely a very good trait to have. After all, you never truly knew who you’re fighting. She was keeping her distance, trying, testing, hoping to find a way through her brother’s defense, but it was perfect so far. Levi might not have much tournament experience himself, but he had an amazing talent and years of hard work behind his moves, and when he gave it his all, he was an amazing fighter. Then again, so was Mikasa. The hits landing were fast, and strong, shaking Levi’s body, but he kept his hands up, searching for the true moment to strike. Patient, and silent, like a wolf, waiting for his moment to bite. And as on cue, he got one.

The footwork was easy to miss, but he knew Mikasa like the back of his hand, or he liked to think that he did, the years they trained together giving him insight into her fighting style no one else will ever have. The tiny step back, the spacing and preparation, it gave him a very short notice of the high kick that was coming, but still, it was a heads up, and he took full advantage of it. The plan was simple. Block the kick, push her leg away to upset her balance, and step closer in order to fully abuse the hole in her defense. Bracing himself, Levi took a wide stance, expecting the inevitable. The kick landed like a thunder into his block, the sheer strength alone making him stumble a few steps backwards. Okay, he was right about his prediction but simply underestimated the power of the attack, as he was now the one reeling backwards, unable to do anything but prevent himself from falling on his ass.

“Damn, you actually caught that.”, Mikasa had a surprise written all over her face, hands dropping to indicate that she was ready to take a breather. One that they both desperately needed. “I was sure that I had you this time.”

“Too slow.”, he gritted through clenched teeth, working his shoulders before the stiffness had a chance to set it. Fuck but that last hit stung. Luckily Mikasa didn’t seem to notice his struggle, casually drying her sweaty face with a towel.

It was amazing seeing her grow like she did, both as a person and as a fighter, and Levi couldn’t help but feel a sense of achievement, watching her now. Back then, when she first came to him, she was broken, shattered, without a goal in life or any guidance that could show her any. It was Levi, no one else, that picked up the pieces and melded them back together, made her into the successful young woman that Mikasa is today. Sure, he made some blunders along the way, but who wouldn’t. And if she was just a hair’s breadth away from beating his ass, then so be it. What trainer wouldn’t take pride in his trainee’s strength. Through the years, Levi molded a champion, and while he of course knew that Mikasa’s hard work and dedication was essential to becoming who she is today, he allowed himself to be selfish for a minute. It felt good.

“I missed this you know.”, she said, interrupting his self-praise.

“Missed what?”

“Fighting all-out, really sparring, I couldn’t do it ever since An… ehm.. I mean, couldn’t do it for a long time.”

It was rather obvious what she wanted to say originally, but Levi was not the type to rip open an old wound. He had enough of those himself.

“What, Eren isn’t up to the task?”, he asked instead, trying to ease the tension. Successfully, since Mikasa chuckled.

“Oh, you know him, he’s doing his best.”, Eren was strong, that was for sure, and after helping her train for years at this point, more than an adequate opponent, but the likes of Levi or Mikasa were still a class above him. Must be the Ackerman genes. “Give him a few more years and maybe he’ll get there.”

“Indeed, I can totally imagine you two clashing for the title of an MMA champion.”, Levi snorted, “You’d probably start making out or some shit.”

Mikasa didn’t even have the decency to blush.

“That’s possible. Fighting always gets us…. hmm… excited.”

“Yo, keep the details, I don’t need to hear them.”

“As you wish brother dear.”, taking a measured sip of water, Mikasa stretched, groaning in satisfaction at the pleasurable soreness of her muscles. The talk about Eren however did make her remember something, so putting her bottle down, she got Levi’s attention by clearing her throat.

“What?”, he blurted.

“You never told me; how did your talk with Petra go?”

“So, you know her name huh?”

Mikasa shrugged.

“Well she was at the party, so we talked for a few minutes.”

“It was okay. I explained to her why I had to make such an exit from college, and she seemed to understand. We’re cool now.”

“Cool? Just cool?”

He narrowed his eyes at her smirking expression.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Petra, Hange… You know, out of all the people I know I never imagined you being in a love triangle.”

The casualness of her tone, the smirk, everything about the way she pronounced the accusation made Levi’s blood boil. Hey, he loved the girl, but what did she know?

“What? What triangle? There’s no fucking triangle. Shut up.”

“So defensive…”, Mikasa clicked her tongue, the smile remaining, “I wonder why…”

“I said shut up.”, throwing the towel over the ropes again, he took his fighting stance, nodding at his smirking sister. “Get ready brat.”

Mimicking his movements, Mikasa fell into her own, a bit more relaxed stance, nodding right back at him.

“Bring it on, midget.”

And soon thoughts about anything else but the sparring disappeared from their minds, as the thrill of a fight overwhelmed them once again.

Of course that Eren talked big, coming home from work, the classic rant that he’s not tired at all, while his lids were literally dropping, and that they can do something together, no problem. But Mikasa saw the same behavior on a number of occasions already, so she suggested watching a movie, something relaxing after a taxing day. Sounds good, doesn’t it. Exactly as she predicted, Eren fell asleep about five minutes after they sat together on the couch, head dropping back. She waited for a moment, to see if he perhaps wont wake up after a short nap, but judging from the sounds he was making and the overall stiffness of his body, Eren was done for the day.

Turning the tv off, and gathering his considerable bulk in her arms, she couldn’t help but grunt as his full weight settled in her embrace. Normally she had no problems with carrying him, but today’s workout was especially taxing, and that combined with the sparring against Levi, who wasn’t holding back at all, exhausted her more than she anticipated. Eren was broad shouldered, tall, and the muscle mass she helped him build herself came back to haunt her now, weighing down at Mikasa heavily. Yet it wouldn’t be Mikasa Ackerman if she backed down from a challenge. Pressing her lips together in determination, she braved the journey up the stairs to the bedroom, not letting out another sound, lest it doesn’t wake Eren up. Successfully finishing her escort mission, she carefully laid him to the bed, diving in after too, ready to call it a night. Or so she thought.

For reasons unknown to her, sleep just avoided Mikasa, making her roll left and right, unable to find any rest. It didn’t make sense. She was dog tired, exhaustion deep in her bones, but still, her eyes couldn’t remain closed. Sighing, she turned on the other side again, restless eyes sliding over Eren, who was understandably obvious to her trouble, lost in whatever dream he was having. Out of options, Mikasa decided that she just might as well watch him sleep for a while, that might inspire her body to finally snap out of it and do the same. With one hand behind his head, facing the ceiling, Eren was the picture of peacefulness, his features completely still. Usually, Eren was the one watching her sleep, and while Mikasa found it kinda creepy at the start, the soft looks and touches grew on her, and a few times she even only pretended to be asleep so she could bask in his loving gaze. Well, since she can’t sleep, she might as well try that too.

Shuffling a bit closer, Mikasa leaned in, inspecting Eren’s face from up close. He always had a pretty face, nice to look at, although it was different, now that the most dominant part of it, his blazing green eyes, were hidden beneath heavy lids. Tracing the shape of his chin, Mikasa couldn’t hold in a soft giggle when her fingertips encountered a very short stubble. Eren really needed to shave in the morning. Over the neck and down, she took her time in admiring the rise and fall of his broad chest, still remembering how skinny he was when they first met. Lot of hard work on Eren’s part, but the results were rather mouthwatering. Before meeting him, Mikasa never saw muscles as something nice to look at. Society doesn’t really judge female beauty by how distinct her abdominals are, does it. They were functional, allowed her to be faster, to hit stronger, to last longer during her workouts, they weren’t an aesthetic. But then Eren and his fascination with Mikasa’s midriff came around, and suddenly she found herself reevaluating her beliefs. What did it matter what others wanted, if her boyfriend could spend literally minutes just tracing the outlines of her abs, grinning like a child who got a new toy.

And now, years down the road, Mikasa was the one staring at Eren’s stomach, feeling her excitement spark upon seeing the subtle movements of his core. Maybe he had a point. Biting her bottom lip, she slowly dragged the cover lower, exposing more and more of the very nicely outlined abdominals. Splaying her fingers on the warm tanned skin, careful not to put too much pressure on him, Mikasa did what Eren always enjoyed, and started tracing the shapes of each individual part with the tip of her finger. It felt funny, and admittedly even a bit exciting, because damn it but her fiancé was hot. Realizing that it was partly her doing too, as she was the one who pushed him to go to the gym with her in the first place, Mikasa decided that it’s time to enjoy the spoils, and dived in with a renewed vigor. Poking and prodding, fully engaged in her task, Mikasa didn’t even notice how Eren’s eyebrows furrowed, and the little groan of discomfort that followed, but he didn’t wake. Just as she was running out of ideas of what to do, another thought struck her. There was one more thing that Eren loved doing to her stomach, one that he arguably enjoyed even more than just touching it. Risking a quick look up, making sure that he was still sleeping, Mikasa leaned even closer, and after a moment’s hesitation pressed her lips against the abs. Wasn’t the first time she was kissing this area, that was for sure, but she’s never done it before with Eren sleeping, and it gave her a rush of adrenaline. It felt like she was doing something forbidden, but who doesn’t want to be the bad girl from time to time. Bold, she stuck her tongue out, licking a broad stripe along the muscles, and that seemed to finally cross the line, because above her, certain someone cleared his throat, making her look up.

“So… uh…. Do I want to know what you’re doing?”

Eren’s gaze was half sleepy, half surprised, as he was looking down at her with total confusion on his face. Slowly, Mikasa hid her tongue back inside her mouth, trying to find any explanation for her actions. But she came up blank.

“Nothing?”, she tried.

“Well, it did look like you were licking me from my perspective.”

“Nah…”

“Right…..”

The irony was so thick in his reply that it was enough to make Mikasa snap.

“And what if I did?”, even with her cheeks coloring, she held his gaze without flinching, “You have your mouth on me all the time, maybe I wanted to get a taste too!”

Lame excuse, really, but it’s not like she had any better one.

“I do, don’t I…”, Eren seemed to be thinking about her statement for a second, but when he looked back at her, his eyes had a new kind of fire inside them. One that Mikasa knew very well. With a twist and flip, she was on her back before she realized it, with Eren looming over her, a huge grin spread on his lips.

“Now that you mention it,”, his lips were close, and Mikasa thought that he’s going to kiss her, but then he moved past, whispering into her ear instead, “I think that I’ll go for a midnight snack.”

In her disheveled state, Mikasa was just about to ask him if he can make her something to eat too, but then she noticed the way he sliddered down her body, littering kisses everywhere, and it finally clicked for her what kind of a snack he had in mind.

“I love that you wear those tiny tank tops to bed.”, he murmured, lips brushing Mikasa’s defined abdominals as he spoke, reversing the position he found himself in after waking up, “Leaves the best parts uncovered.”

Mikasa was just about to inform him that she knows very well that he likes them, and it’s partly the reason why she is wearing them in the first place, but Eren was on a mission, so her explanation got cut off because he moved fast, kissing his way between her legs, to the place where she wanted him the most. Eren took it slow, teasing her, enjoying the way she arched against him, the way the heels of her feet pressed against his back, desperate, needy for his attention. He loved making her come undone, both because he genuinely enjoyed pleasing her, but also because knowing that he has the power to make Mikasa Ackerman, the undefeated queen of the ring, who always beat him so effortlessly when they sparred, the overall toughest and strongest woman he knew, trash helplessly beneath him and sob his name, begging for release, one that he allowed her only when he had his fill, was quite an ego boost. Only when the last tremors of her finish began leaving Mikasa’s body, Eren made his way back up, coming to stop in front of her flushed face.

“You want to sleep now?”

To Eren’s surprise however, Mikasa shook her head, pulling him closer and pressing her lips to his, while wrapping her legs around his waist.

“Make love to me.”, she whispered in between the kisses, a certain need in her voice that Eren was more than happy to fulfill. Pressing his forehead to hers, Eren slowly pushed in, in completely no rush, watching her lids flutter and mouth drop a bit open as he filled her.

The activity had a certain intimacy in it, one that couldn’t he found anywhere else. There were no toys, no bindings, no roleplaying, no costumes, just them, pure and raw, as close as they physically could be. Sure, there were much better positions to reach deeper, to do it faster with more strength, a better angle, but like this, staring into each other’s eyes, this was exactly what they needed right now, and it was more than good enough. When Mikasa came, it wasn’t with a scream, but a choked gasp, followed by a long exhale, her walls collapsing around Eren’s shaft to squeeze it, the stimulation overwhelming. Three thrusts later, he was done, breathing heavily into her chest, where he fell for the moment being. It was rather comfortable resting place, made even better when her slender fingers began to comb through his long hair.

Minutes later, when their bodies calmed, Mikasa tapped Eren’s shoulder, making him look up at her.

“What’s up?”

“Can we talk?”

“Sure thing babe.”, rolling to the side, Eren groaned as his back hit the mattress, turning to his side after to get a better look at his lover, peeking at him over the rim of the covers. “What about?”

“I’ve been… thinking lately.”, seeing how quickly he began answering that, she held up a finger, “And if you’ll say that stupid “You can do that?” joke, you can look for a new girlfriend.”

Eren zipped his mouth. Uninterrupted, Mikasa continued.

“I’ve been trying to figure out, what are our limits?”

His brows furrowed in confusion.

“Limits of what?”

“Well, you know…”, her cheeks were already red from the physical activity, but somehow they managed to get a shade deeper, “vegan steaks.”

“I… I’m not sure I understand…”

“It’s just, we’ve done some really crazy stuff together, and we keep digging deeper and deeper, so I just find myself wondering, when do we call it quits? Lately, I’ve been spending basically every evening tied up, and it doesn’t matter if its shibari or the bed cuffs, in costume, or in some play. I’ve had the collar on me so much that I almost forgot to take it off before going out this morning!”, the memory was still embarrassing, especially when Mikasa imagined what would Levi say if she turned up at the gym wearing a leather collar around her neck. But somehow, for reasons she didn’t quite understand, the thought of it was also just a little bit… hot?

“That would be funny.”, Eren grumbled, earning a judging look from her.

“You know that some people do that, don’t you? Wear stuff like collars publicly, and… other things.”

He just shrugged, not sure how to react to that.

“So where is our limit? Am I going to start wearing a collar around my neck 24/7? Am I going to live in a cage here? Are you going to take me out for walks on a leash or something?”, worst of all, even just thinking about this, Mikasa could feel the familiar excitement smoking in the pit of her stomach. Oh lord, if she was already this far gone, what could even help her? Dropping her voice lower, she sighed. “Will I need to be tied up to even get aroused in the future? Or spanked? What is going to happen to us?”

Eren seemed to ponder over her outburst for a few seconds, working his jaw, but after that, he simply shook his head.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”, Mikasa looked up, arching an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I’m saying. Look Miki, all these roleplays and stuff, they are amazing, but the most important part of it is just you, nothing else. I can’t even imagine doing things like that with anyone else.”, reaching out, he ran his hand over her upper arm, “We can do what we want as long as we both want to try it, but you never have to fear that I’ll try pushing anything onto you that you’re not comfortable with. Ever.”

“So it’s okay with you if we just drop the act and just go at it like this?”, blinking her greys at him, Mikasa felt like she could melt in that warm look that Eren was giving her, “Sometimes I just don’t want to be hardcore fucked, sometimes I just want to, you know, make love.”

“Please,”, he snorted, “The day when I’ll say no to that will be the day I die.”

She grinned back feeling the insecurities thaw inside her heart.

“Have I told you that you’re awfully sweet from time to time?”

“Of course. My friends call me sugar candy man.”

“No they don’t.”

“True. But they could.”

Chuckling, Mikasa wrapped her arms around him, feeling Eren return the hug as she buried her face into his chest, the sleep finally washing over her body.

“I know I’m sweet, but please don’t lick me again.”, he whispered into her ear just as she was going under, smiling when she groaned against his skin.

Perhaps for that reason, Mikasa’s dreams were filled with abs made of different types of candy, which tasted pretty good when she tried them. All things considered, it was quite an enjoyable one, as far as dreams go.

[owl-girl04]

My take on Defenders of Tomorrow

So, the Voltron fandom is nuts, but I heard about this reboot thing and then I kinda loved the idea. I read some cute headcannons and ideas and things (not a lot, mind you, so if I get something wrong I’m so sorry) and this just popped into my head. Moral of the story is that I got this idea, typed it out, and if I get any good feedback I might continue this.

So without further ado, my version of when Leandro and Akira first met:

Leandro wasn’t even having a good night to begin with. He had waited for an hour for his date to arrive at his favorite restaurant, only for them to not show up. Sure, they were in the midst of a Hignua invasion and take-over, but that didn’t mean people could just forget about their love lives.

He vowed that he was going to forget her, and revved the engine on his hoverbike, flying through an intersection. His short brown hair fluttered around his goggles, longer in the front than the back. Usually, he sported a suggestive smile, but now his face was set with lines. Now, he was mostly angry.

He was making his way towards one of the many occupied parts of the city, where his house was located. The day the Hignua ships appeared in the upper atmosphere, everyone on planet Direx knew something was wrong. Visitors were a normal part of their lives, since their entire planet was home to one of the most modern cities in the universe. Sprawling on and on for thousands of miles, the entire city was unnamed, but there were multiple sectors within it. The only warning the planet had that these ships were not a peaceful people, was an odd, static message that the president’s office had released the day before. Leandro hadn’t really been paying attention, he never did to any of the intergalactic wars anymore.

But despite his stubborn drive to simply ignore the invaders and continue with his life, he soon realized that would not be the case. His sector, named Hilford, and nicknamed Hickyford, was one of the first taken over by the Hignua.

As Leandro neared the next stoplight, he slowed, before coming to a halt. As far as the eye could see, traffic was stopped dead in front of him. He sighed through his nose, looking for any way around the jam. His eyes lit up at one of the many simple, dirty back alleys that was located between towering buildings. Pulling off the road, and sparking some indignant words from pedestrians he sped into the alley. Just as he had guessed, it ran perpendicular to his road for about a mile, since the buildings it was squeezed between were so large.

Picking his way slowly around piles of trash and one lonely, lost hobo, he began making his way towards the distant street. He was just passing the halfway point when a dark shape came rushing out from behind the nearest dumpster. The thing -a person, Leandro realized- tackled him hard, causing both of them to hit the opposite wall and slide to the ground.

“Don’t move. Or I’ll stab you,” the person warned.

Leandro couldn’t conjure the energy to be too worried. Muggings in this part of the planet were common, and he carried two guns for this specific scenario. Now if he could just reach them…

“No man, no stabbing needed, really,” he announced, casually raising his hands in an ‘I’m innocent’ sort of way. His guns were camouflaged on either side of his legs, their holsters hidden by his baggy blue jacket.

His assailant stood, and unsheathed a sword from their belt. In the dim light of the alleyway, Leandro could see he was unquestionably masculine. His shoulder length hair was inky black and tied back, providing a clear view of his sharp features and violet eyes. He was wearing a cropped red jacket, and the sleeves were slightly too long, so they bunched at his wrists.

Leandro couldn’t help but admire the man as he took the opportunity to stand up. He reprimanded himself as he did so. Now was the time to focus, and not on how cute his attacker was.

“I said, don’t move.”

“Yeah, yeah, anyways, I’m Leandro, by the way, and would you mind telling me why you tackled me off my bike?” He was chatting now just to make noise, and hopefully distract the man… his fingers twitched towards his jacket.

“I don’t care who you are, I just need your ride,” the man shot back, forceful, but a little breathless. He began to back up towards the bike, and Leandro’s attention caught on a symbol etched onto his blade.

“Oh hey! You’re a rebel! You might know my sister then, have you ever heard of a Venus?” Leandro began to fumble in his pocket, not for his gun now, but something else.

“Is that like a sort of alien? And how did you know about the Notlov Coalition?”

He had stopped moving, and Leandro flashed him his famous smile, knowing he had caught his attention, “Nah, Venus’s my sister, she works with your group on other planets. My entire family does, actually, but most of them are retired- Aha! Found it!”

He held up a picture of him and his sister in her resistance uniform, the Notlov Coalition symbol proudly displayed on her chest. A pair of guns, very similar to his, hung from her belt, and she was rolling her eyes at the camera.

“So, does that mean you work with the resistance?”

“No, I’m the family disappointment,” he joked, but there was no smile, “Aaanyways, I may not be an actual rebel, but I owe it to my sister to give you a ride, if that’s what you need.”

The rebel’s eyes narrowed, suspicion written clear across his face, but he nodded.

“Fine. If you can get me to where I want to go, then hurry up. But keep quiet and don’t ask questions.”

“Yes sirree,” Leandro agreed, jogging over to his bike and restarting the engine.

The rebel climbed into the one seat behind him, and Leandro noticed he kept his sword unsheathed.

“So, I know you said no questions, but I have two. Where am I headed and can I get your number?”

The rebel rolled his eyes, “To the Hignua concentration camps on the east side of Florencent.”

Leandro sighed at the implied answer of his second question, before forcing a cocky grin onto his face, “Fine, then hold on.”

He careened out of the alley and felt a small jolt in his stomach when a pair of muscular arms wrapped around his waist.

“You’re a terrible driver!” his passenger shouted as they whipped around a particularly tight corner. As Leandro had predicted, all the traffic from the last block had completely disappeared.

“Like you could do any better!” he yelled back

“I could actually, I’m literally a rebel fighter pilot.”

“Then what are you doing on the ground?”

“I’m rescuing my friends.”

At the rebel’s tone, Leandro risked a glance back. His passenger’s face was full of cold determination.

“They must really mean a lot to you- hey wait! I don’t even know your name!”

Leandro could practically hear the eye roll that was coming from behind him but nonetheless-

“Akira, my name’s Akira.”

“Well then, the hot and broody rebel fighter pilot has a name to go with his personality.” Again, Leandro glanced behind him, and this time he saw Akira’s face go bright red.

“Just, just shut up and drive, Leandro.”

[army-author]

jimin scenario | countdown

❝ Your soulmate watch is set to go off on the same day that you meet BTS with your little sister... ❞

➸ prompt: My little sibling wants to meet their favourite idol for Christmas. You’re their “present”

➸ pairing: jimin x reader

➸ requested by @sunshinepizzas | 3.8k words | fluff, soulmate au

Why that date? Why not any other date?

That date is set to be special for you – it’s the day that your soulmate watch will stop counting down the hours, minutes, seconds until your fateful meeting with the person you’ll love for the rest of your life, determined before you were born, set aside for you by the fates that pull stars and move seas. But it’s also a special date for your sister – it’s the day that her favourite group will be visiting your city for a fan meet, and you, being the amazing sibling you are, have managed to get her tickets.

Which means that the day you have being dreaming of for so long won’t be spent as you had planned, sitting on a park bench, smiling and sipping on a bubble tea while you read a classic novel, ready to impress your soulmate with how cultured you are.

Instead, you’ll be stuck queuing with your sister while she waits to shake hands with her idols. All as a part of her Christmas present from you. You have given up your special day, because BTS decided they just have to arrive in the city on the same day that your soulmate watch will fall off your wrist, with a beep, signalling you’ve locked eyes with the love of your life.

When you had first ordered the tickets you hadn’t realised the importance of the date, but as it gets closer and you do the maths, you figure out that it’ll be on the same day, at the same time that you’re destined to fall head over heels.

“You should be excited,” your sister tells you when you explain your stress to her, “You’ll get to meet your soulmate and BTS on the same day!” And then her eyes go bright and glassy as she falls into day-dreaming. “Someone in BTS might even be your soulmate!”

You can’t help but snort. “If fate knows what it’s doing, it won’t match me with an idol. Can you imagine dating someone with their schedule? Someone who has as many fangirls and boys as they do?”

“Yeah… just imagine…” you sister sighs dreamily, and you see it’s pointless trying to talk sense into her. As nice as it is to imagine it, having an idol as your soulmate would be nothing but a pain.

You just have to hope that you can get through the fan meet quickly and escape to (in your opinion) the most important meeting of your life.

Your watch clicks down another hour.

18 days 16 hours 59 minutes 2 seconds until you meet the one.

♡♡♡

The night before the fan meet you’re almost sick with nerves and your sister is almost sick with excitement.

“I can’t believe we’re going to meet them tomorrow!” she cries, practically bouncing off the walls of your room, while you try to wash off your make-up and get ready in peace.

You aren’t in the mood for her fangirling, not when all you can think about is your fateful meeting, the moment when your watch will click free from your wrist, indicating that you’ve just locked eyes with your soulmate. What if they don’t like you? What if you don’t like them? What if fate screws up, and screws you over?

But your sister, not stuck inside your head, and not hearing your barrage of worried thoughts, is pulling out her phone to show you more videos. “You need to learn their names if you’re coming with me.”

“I can learn them tomorrow,” you tell her, “It’s called a meet for a reason. They can introduce themselves then!”

“No way!” Your sister shoves her phone in your face, “Millions of fans would die for a chance to meet these boys. If you’re going to have that sort of attitude, why don’t you give your ticket away to someone who wants it?”

You bite back the retort that you would love nothing more than that - to be free and ready to meet your soulmate without the added stress. But you can’t say this to her, not when her face is practically glowing with excitement as she pushes her phone towards you. This was your idea from the beginning, you had wanted to make her Christmas special, and you were going to go through with it, even if it killed you. Because that’s what good siblings do.

So, you took the phone from her as she explained, “This is one of their most recent MVs.”

You frown down at the screen, as she explains, “It’s called DNA.”

A whistling starts up and a boy appears on screen, with his brown bangs falling into his eyes. You’ve seen him before – on the posters around your sister’s room. “That’s Jungkook,” she tells you, pausing the video so you can appreciate his looks, “He’s the youngest of the group, but all of the other members are scared of him because he’s so strong. He’s a singer, but he’s also really good at dancing, and can also rap. Actually, he’s talented at everything. He’s amazing!” At this rate, going through the MV will take all night. You nod your head along, trying your best to concentrate, although all the information your sister is pouring on you is draining out of your ears as soon as it enters.

As the music continues playing and the group starts dancing, you try your best to concentrate on each boy when your sister points them out, but your eyes are always drawn to the boy with the sparkly jacket, his dazzling clothes catching your attention.

“Who’s the blonde one?” you ask, before your sister can get to him, and her eyes gleam.

“Have you chosen your bias already?”

You’re not even sure what a bias is, but you blush at the insinuation that you’ve taken a special interest. At this rate, your sister will wear you down, spotting your weakness and trying her hardest to push you into becoming a fan as well.

“No way,” you say, “I just like his jacket.”

Your sister pauses on the blonde boy you mentioned, now in a white and red jumper, one long earring dangling from his ear. From behind the screen, his eyes bore into your very core, leaving you shivering.

“That’s Park Jimin,” she tells you, “He’s a singer, and a dancer, and he’s adorable. And he also has abs.”

You don’t know why this information is necessary, but you can’t help blushing as she wiggles her eyebrows at you. “Wanna see a video of him taking off his shirt?”

“What? No! I’m not a perv like you,” you complain, giving her leg a push with your socked foot.

“Well… I don’t know… you seemed interested in him… I just though it might be something you were into…”

“If you don’t shut up about his abs right now I will kick you out of my room.”

“Okay, okay…” she rolls her eyes, and returns to the MV pointing out the rest of the members. As the screen fades to black, she starts talking about the other MVs she wants to show you, but it’s getting late, and you know you have a long bus ride to get to the fan meet tomorrow, so you send her off to bed, telling her she needs some good sleep to get rid of the bags under her eyes if she wants to look good for her idols.

On your watch, your clock keeps counting:

17 hours 50 minutes and 31 seconds.

♡♡♡

The bus ride is more stressful than you expected. First, you bought yourself a cup of coffee at the shop beside the bus stop, but then didn’t have time to finish it before the bus pulled up, so you had tried getting on with it in hand, and then spilled all the change from your pockets while trying to pay the driver. After that, the coffee got rattled about in its cup on the twisty streets, and ended up splashing over your jumper. Now you’re trying to rub at the splattered stains on your sleeve, whining to your sister about how bad this will look to your soulmate, because first impressions matter, all while your watch counts down:

4 hours 19 minutes 28 seconds.

“Relax, it’s fine,” she soothes, “Just roll up your sleeves and you won’t even see it.” With her duties of calming you down out of the way, she goes back to talking about BTS, explaining their personalities and their talents. You know she’s excited to meet her idols, but you’re tired of hearing her babbling on.

It’s a relief to finally get off the bus and dump the guilty coffee cup in the bin, before you pull up the directions on your phone to get you to the fan meet. One glance at the phone clock before the directions flash up on screen reminded you of how little time you have.

2 hours 3 minutes 59 seconds.

Your stomach drops, and you try to concentrate on the directions, rather than the ticking at your wrist. It takes you a few wrong turns, and a lot of backtracking through alleys, before you finally arrive at the building, where a line is already forming outside.

“This is it!” Your sister clutches your arm, her voice reaching an octave you didn’t think it was possible for human ears to hear. Dogs’ ears maybe. But not human ears.

Your sister is already dragging you across to the line, where she starts bouncing on her toes as the line slowly slithers forward.

“I can’t believe this is actually happening,” she squeaks, “Pinch me!”

You reach across to give her arm a nip.

“I didn’t mean literally!” She rubs at the point you hurt, pouting. Her scowl can’t last for long though, and soon she’s smiling again as the line keeps creeping closer to the doors. After what feels like forever, the men at the entrance are checking your tickets and pointing you ahead. Your sister glances behind to you, with wide eyes, as she steps inside. You follow after, and even though you’re not a fan yourself, you can almost taste the excitement in the air, enough to let it affect you, stirring up butterflies in your belly.

From here you can see the table where the seven boys are sitting. The heads of the fans block your vision of the members themselves, but you know they’re there from the snapping of cameras flashing in that direction.

There’s still a long queue left to go, and you can’t help but glance at your watch as you continue on:

1 hour 47 minutes 35 seconds.

That’s too little time. You won’t get out of here before your watch drops off. Does that mean that your soulmate is somewhere in here? You glance around the fans close by, a group of girls with a lot merch, BTS on their hats and t-shirts, and a shy-looking boy behind you, holding a plush similar to the one your sister has been asking for, a pink bunny rabbit with thick eyebrows.

Then you remember that you won’t actually see your soulmate until the moment your watch snaps off and your look into their eyes. You shouldn’t try to seek them out before then.

You keep waiting, your feet getting more and more sore, and your brain getting more and more jumbled as your watch keeps ticking.

At last there’s only one girl ahead of your sister. BTS is right beside you, and your sister’s breathing has started getting faster.

“Deep breaths,” you remind her, “I’m not catching you if you faint.”

“I won’t faint,” she retorts, but her face is so pale and her breath so hitched that you’re not sure you believe her. You watch her carefully as she takes wobbly steps towards the first boy, who, if you can remember correctly, is called Yoongi. Then it’s your turn to step forward, and you’re nodding hello yourself, handing him the album your sister asked you to get signed. He smiles wide, showing pink gums, and you mumble hello, feeling awkward posing as a fan when you don’t even know their names. Maybe he will take your relative silence as a sign of shyness, rather than a sign that you barely know who he is.

You continue down the line of boys in jagged silence, nodding hello, and pushing the album towards them for signing, all while your mood gets darker and darker - feeling as if you’re letting your sister (and BTS) down with your quietness.

The last boy you come to is Jimin, the one who caught your eyes in the MV. His golden skin and fair hair looks all the more dazzling in person, like the shine of city lights in a window, and as you shuffle forward to sit down in front of him, you suddenly find yourself unable to meet his eyes. You feel hot and cold at the same time, shivering and sweating as he holds out a delicate hand for you to shake, fingers feeling cool like glass against your own. You stare determinedly down at the table as he signs your sister’s album, suddenly self-conscious of your barely made-up face and the coffee stains on your sleeve.

But Jimin himself seems distracted. His hand keeps rubbing at the watch on his wrist, his own countdown for his soulmate, and his conversation is minimal as you wait for the allotted time to pass before the organisers wave you on so the boy behind you can have his turn.

Blushing and embarrassed, you hurry off the stage, checking with panic down to your wrist:

59 minutes 44 seconds.

You’ve gone down from hours to minutes. It’s going to happen soon. In a daze, partly from Jimin’s beauty, and partly from the closeness of your soulmate, whoever they are, you let your sister drag you back to the seats where you’ll sit for the rest of the fan meet, listening as the boys talk.

From one of the back rows, you’re much more comfortable watching Jimin where he can’t look back. Seeing him up close is too intense, an assault on all senses with his intoxicating cologne, his brilliant face, his smooth skin. He’s too much. You understand your sister’s love now.

Beside you, she flops down in her seat, completely overwhelmed. “That was amazing!” she sighs happily, before she picks herself up, and breathes, “I actually touched their hands. All seven of them…”

“So did I, and every other person in this room,” you remind her.

“Stop ruining this for me,” she snaps, “It was special, okay?”

Before you can tease her anymore, the boys begin to address the audience, and your sister presses her finger to her lips, asking you to be silent, as she drinks up all the words dropped from the boys’ lips.

You sit back, still uncomfortable, despite the cushy seats, and check your watch again:

40 minutes 2 seconds

Not much time left. You wonder if you should leave the room when the countdown reaches a certain point. There’ll be more of a chance of meeting your soulmate outside. None of the people around you are showing signs of dragging their eyes away from BTS anytime soon; there’s no way you’re making eye contact with any of them, locking gazes so your watch can fall off.

As the countdown continues, you keep shifting in your seat, getting more and more restless.

29 minutes 40 seconds.

Less than half an hour now. Should you leave? Should you stay? You glance at the people around you, at the girls filming BTS to your left, and the group of friends giggling to your right. None of them looking how you expected your soulmate to look.

You should leave.

You should stay.

Your watch keeps counting down, and BTS keep talking.

12 minutes 9 seconds.

You decide that you’ll leave at ten minutes.

That will give you ten minutes to escape out into the street, ten minutes to see the ocean of possibilities wandering the city, waiting for fate to swoop down and do its thing.

Still BTS go on, their words blending together in your brain.

But then there’s a pause on stage, as one of the managers steps up, and mumbles something to the boy closest to the edge, who you believe is Jin. He nods his head, before moving over to whisper in Jimin’s ear. All while this is going on, the ones you identify as Hoseok and Yoongi keep on talking, distracting from the disturbance behind them.

With a nod, Jimin goes across to the manager who ushers him off stage. You have no time to wonder what’s going on, if Jimin is ill or in trouble as he disappears from your view – it’s ten minutes to go, clock showing:

10 minutes 0 seconds.

You need to go.

Whispering an apology to your sister, you tell her you need to visit the bathroom, before slipping past the seats and heading for the glowing green rescue that the exit sign offers.

You just hope fate knows what it’s doing as you pull open the doors and rush out into the freedom of the now empty lobby, dashing through the double doors to the outside world. You’re out in the streets, where a hundred possible soulmates pass by, all hurrying on with their own lives. Who will crash into yours?

8 minutes 20 seconds.

Now all you have left to do is to wait.

You stand by the wall, trying to fix your hair, and look as good as you can after a stressful day, and a cup of coffee dumping itself on you. Your fingers keep fiddling with your sleeves, brushing at the spots of cappuccino that still show up on the soft fabric.

7 minutes 4 seconds.

A ruckus starts up just down the street from you, and your eyes dart over, wondering what’s going on.

You can see a bodyguard moving through the crowd, and wonder if it’s one of BTS’s bodyguards.

5 minutes 16 seconds.

You should wait where you are, hold out for your soulmate, but curiosity is dragging your feet forward, to see what’s going on.

4 minutes 59 seconds.

You stand up on tip toes to see through the crowd and spot a head of blonde hair. Park Jimin.

What’s he doing out here? Why isn’t he back inside with the rest of his group?

You struggle forward, eyes greedy to catch one glimpse of that face you were too shy to look at when you met him.

3 minutes 32 seconds.

You realise that you should go back to your spot by the wall and wait for your soulmate. What if the crowd holds you back from seeing them? But as you struggle against the bodies, you realise your mistake. You can’t go back, can’t fight the sway of these people, wherever they go you go. You have no choice now, feet moving without your permission as bodies press on all sides.

2 minutes 11 seconds.

You hear the girls beside you gossiping: “I heard that Jimin’s set to find his soulmate today!”

“That would explain why they’re trying to get him out of here.”

“Imagine if one of his fans is his soulmate! I’d die of jealousy!”

“Do you think if I tampered with my watch and forced if off at the same time his comes off he’d think I was his soulmate?”

1 minute 48 seconds.

You need to get away. But as you struggle, you find yourself moving closer and closer to the inner circle where Jimin is being accompanied back to one of the cars. You can see him through the crowd clearly now, catching a view of his retreating back. His hand is clutched to the watch at his wrist.

59 seconds.

You cry out as you’re pressed on all sides, stumbling forward. You try to turn around. You wonder if your soulmate is here in this crowd. Where? Your eyes graze the faces all around you, no one looking your way, no one really seeing you.

30 seconds.

Your soulmate is close. Where?

10 seconds.

Your body is pushed forward, towards the bodyguard and Jimin. Where?

9 seconds.

You fall closer, wobbling out of the crowd to crash into the black of the guard’s suit.

8 seconds.

He turns back to give you a warning, telling you to get away.

7 seconds.

You try to apologise, holding up your hands to him.

6 seconds.

Jimin turns to ask the guard what’s wrong.

5 seconds.

You keep on trying to apologise, talking to the blank wall of the bodyguard, who’s stopped listening.

4 seconds.

No time to apologise.

3 seconds.

Your soulmate is close by.

2 seconds.

Let fate get it right.

1 second.

Your wild eyes fly around the crowd. Who is it? Who? Who? Who?

A pair of dark eyes catches your own.

0 seconds.

With a beeping your watch slips off your wrist, and clatters to the pavement.

The crowd takes a step back, as the people around you realise what’s going on.

Your eyes drink in the face of the man supposed to be your soulmate. Golden skin and fair hair. Park Jimin.

No way this is happening.

Before the crowds around you can start an uproar over their idol getting paired off, the bodyguard is grabbing your shoulder firmly and pulling you towards the car, pushing you and Jimin inside.

His voice is gruff. “Jimin, you need to go back to the fan meet soon. This will be all over social media, and we’ll need to figure out what to do about it… but for now, just talk with each other.” His serious tone softens for a split second. “Enjoy it. The moment you meet your soulmate will stick with you forever.”

Then he’s slamming the car door on you, leaving you and Jimin in the privacy of the backseat to try and sort out the thousands of emotions spinning around your head.

Where do you start? What do you even say? How do you begin this?

Jimin picks up, the only way he can, by sticking out a hand, “You might already know this, but my name’s Park Jimin. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

You glance up to the dark eyes you were so nervous to meet less than an hour ago, the eyes that heralded the end of your attachment to your watch, and the beginning of your attachment to him. And seeing his smile, cheeks scrunching up, eyes softening - it makes it all okay.

The crowd of disappointed fans outside. The tumult this will cause. The difficulty of it all.

Jimin’s smile promises that all will be okay.

And you chose to believe him.

♡ END ♡

Author’s note: I love love LOVE soulmate aus! They’re always so much fun!!

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

[cwombw]

isn’t life great?

below cut.

void-Yesterday at 11:25 PM

wtf do you even have to say to me

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:26 PM

I just, if youre this upset with riley for doing then we need to talk about this so you understand

void-Yesterday at 11:27 PM

im ALLOWED to be hurt that he thinks i can NEVER be trusted AGAIN for no apparent reasonif you cant recognize that then WOW

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:27 PM

He doesn't think thatHe blocked people he's know for years

void-Yesterday at 11:27 PM

then WHY the MCFUCK did he block me and why are you saying i should just shut up about it and get over iti cared about him damnit i say him as my own fucking childyoure not who i thought you were lmfao

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:28 PM

He's just really scared right now, youre allowed to be upset but try to underastand

void-Yesterday at 11:28 PM

im done tbh?i blocked him back.its what he wants anyway

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:29 PM

if you feel that's what you want. he's just scared and hiding from everything

void-Yesterday at 11:29 PM

and yet hes still in dandys friendchat.

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:30 PM

He left active chats right off the bat and then got scred people would hate him and stoped

void-Yesterday at 11:30 PM

whatever then.too bad star came home im this close to self harmingim  going to talk to her and hope shecan calm me down from a meltdown

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:31 PM

I just, he's literally dying rn, please try to understandAnd please stay safe

void-Yesterday at 11:31 PM

you also need to understand that others are having similar reactions due to his actions just now

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:33 PM

youre having a heart problem? you were so upset you had a heart attack last night? I'm sorry but I dont think this is comperable

void-Yesterday at 11:33 PM

i meant the goddamn breakdown thing

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:34 PM

I'm sorry i misunderstoodHe jsut doesnt want anyone to see him die

void-Yesterday at 11:39 PM

i f he wants to push everybody away and ruin every good friendship he had and also ruin the dnd kin thing, fine. im not going to open my arms to him anymore.i dont hate him.but the wanting nothing to do eith each other thing is mutual now.

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:40 PM

i hope you understand that i stand with him on this. he just doesnt want to hurt people if he actually dies

void-Yesterday at 11:41 PM

if he actually diesso if he doesnt, what. hes gonna be like "heyyy.. fingerguns sorry that i ruined all my friendships, amde people hate me, and made people panic" i dont play ehadgames like that and i refuse to do that with him.plus, idk. iunno. maybe it should be our choice if we want to stick with him even if hes on his death bed?by doing this its hurting more than watching hiom die

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:43 PM

He's in the hospital and they said things arent looking good. he's terrifiyed and I think you should remember hes only 16. he's just scared as any dying kid would be

void-Yesterday at 11:44 PM

.. so wait. let me get this straight . he decided to. block. every single one of his online friends, out of fear of hurting them. but he didnt try to distance himself from his irl ones, even though it should be thje same fear that drove him to block everybody online in the first place.iwhatnothis boils down to paranoia and distrustwhy exactly, does he  let his irl friends care for him but wont let his online ones do the same

ArchaicArcade-Yesterday at 11:45 PM

It;s easier to block people you don't know in personI just, I cant do this. hes a scared kin and that's all there is to it

void-Yesterday at 11:46 PM

okim dropping itfeel free to block mefigure you want nothing to do with me anymore eitherJune 8, 2018

ArchaicArcade-Today at 12:01 AM

no it's just I need a bit

ArchaicArcade-Today at 8:34 AM

I'm sorry to say this but I've know Riley way longer and well, I choose him over you. I feel terrible but I need to side with my best friend here

void-Today at 11:56 AM

there shouldnt even be a side but okay. i had a feeling y'all weren't telling the truth. because i forgot last night but now i remember that he certainly did not block everybody he was friends with online and the chat in gov kin is evident as such, since people there could still message him.

you all have fun lying now. but i want you both to remember that i would have gone above and beyond for the both of you because i trusted you, cared about you, and loved you.thanks for ripping away a part of my life.

--

s/o-Today at 7:48 AM

Fuck meRiley is the rat talking to lou

s/o-Today at 11:01 AM

Let me know if you are okay.

void-Today at 11:59 AM

.....wow.

s/o-Today at 11:59 AM

He shared our entire dm

s/o-Today at 12:00 PM

God me too

void-Today at 12:01 PM

you know i have a feeling all their friends were in on it and he didnt even have a heart attack last night

--

s/o- you know I never had a grudge against you, and I wasn't in a good place either when you were in my life. please leave me out of your mouth and i'll continue leaving you out of mine. Don't dis GAK either, it's a quiet kin family. -Lex's "live in" partner.

s/o- also I'm carful about the ages of the people I talk too, and that "flirting with a minor thing" not sure who that was at all? I'm sure it had something to do with the nonsense in KK. Anyway last message I will send unless you choose to respond. Yesterday at 4:53 AM

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches the minor was jeremie diioscuri and the offending behavior was via discord in a mutuals server that he had created Yesterday at 2:26 PM s/o- Now i know what you are talking about. I was mislead about his age. But I also never flirted with him. I sent him an NSFW meme once and his little friends started making wild accusations of me. And I do feel bad for offending him, but I didn't know he was a minor.

s/o- That is also how I personally got kicked from KK. I kicked Alex from KK the previous night because it was behaving destructively Today at 7:44 AM

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches thats not an accusation thats straight up telling the truth

s/o- Talking about trans stuff? I was literally complaing about tucking. I also really feel stabbed in the back right now. You think you know someone

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches you... knew who? look idk what you deem appropriate to talk to minors about but maybe it differs for us

s/o- i don't think a trans vent between two trans people is inappropriate if he was squicked by that he could've told me lol. not go sharing a private convo with you. (and i'm not blaming you for that)

agenderdad420/mystery peaches i will say that there is often an inherent power dynamic between older and younger members that maybe made him more uncomfortable

s/o- you know i can take the blame if I fucked up. I hope you know that I've changed a ton since KK. and since I your drama with Lex started. All I want is to be a good person and contribute something to my fellow kinnies.\

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches honestly i havent really kept up w either you or alex since that point, but i dont doubt you can take accountability for your actions.

agenderdad420/mysterypeaches i just hope that there is change that goes along w acknowledgement and perhaps there has been

s/o- I don't speak for lex. But i just want peace Today at 9:21 AM

agenderdad420 fair

--

s/o - Today at 7:49 AM Apparently riley is the one talking to the person who made my callout Do you have a problem with me arcade? 

ArchaicArcade - Today at 8:07 AM no 

s/o - Today at 8:16 AM I guess i squicked him with something i said 

ArchaicArcade - Today at 8:17 AM i guess 

s/o - Today at 8:19 AM My brain: hes sick because of you 

s/o - Today at 12:02 PM I know you have your reasons  for what you guys are doing. But I hope Riley knows how deep he cut me. I would've given you both the moon.

--

not only have these people caused me to have a severe anxiety attack, they caused my partner the same, as well as many others who weren’t even a part of this.

they have caused me to feel suicidal and paranoid, to want to self harm

as for agenderdad420/mysterypeaches, they have sent me anon hate before, accused me of being racist for my neopronouns (all while saying they’re not against neopronouns, lol), and blew up at me for dropping them after they told me they didn’t like that i was trying to set boundaries for my borderline behaviors with them, and that i was confiding in them everything that was going on with me at the time (which was heavily toxic and depressing towards me) they have used language against me that is ableist and abuse apologetic in nature and their claims otherwise are blatant lies.

i had previously published the majority of the anon hate before deleting it from my blog after a while due to discomfort of having drama on my blog.

they have taken to stalking me to find out more past drama about me, as well as taking false anecdotes from others who claim my s/o has been inappropriate with minors to the point of grooming them, which is 1000000000000000% untrue and taken greatly out of context and skewed into something that never happened.

talking about trans issues isn’t grooming, sending a nsfw meme to a person who my s/o believed to be an adult isn’t grooming.

these people are pure evil and have been planning this for a long time from what i’ve gathered.

they are dangerous and unpleasant and will apparently stop at nothing to obtain their goal, whatever it actually is. as evident as one of them faked a heart attack and may have faked an entire condition.

update 7/17/2018

after speaking to rileys sister who he abused for a good part of their life, as well as ruined it and made their mom send them to live with their aunt, i’ve since learned that this is serial abusive behavior and he has also physically beat his younger siblings, is a pathological liar, and everything i’ve thus learned about him 100% fits his m/o.

he can try all he wants to pretend that he got better and has improved but all i see if that he got better methods.

faking a heart attack in order to call my gf a pedophile for talking about trans issues is fucking despicable.

another thing i’ve discovered is that he did in fact assault the person who he says assaulted him 

and the fact he freaked out over a poorly written callout like that, no offense to the victim is kinda funny and really telling. if he was innocent then why bother mentioning anything? i dont think that many people saw it.

i’ve also learned that archaicarcade, aka julien/julian (and plenty of other past names) also has a past of fucking people over very quickly into friendships and relationships and changing their name and other information in order to hide their past.

in fact.. riley hangs out with a lot of weird people, including somebody who was brainwashed by their older brother to be transphobic, and julien, whos relationship with the minors he surrounds himself with is suspect at best.

he also keeps company with a jehovah’s witness, which i shouldn’t have to explain how problematic that is.

my current thoughts about this is that riley while not innocent at all may be being groomed by julien is who also grooming others with help from his other adult buddies they all hang with. i have no sympathy for riley though after what occurred, whatsoever.

just 10-20 minutes ago somebody on a sockpuppet from wilson, north carolina sent me hate after checking out this callout post for riley, this is the screenshot i took

i’ve since blocked and reported the sockpuppet, even if this doesnt belong to riley, its clearly from one of his brainwashed supporters. amazing that a month later they still want to start shit. but this? this is pathetic.

look riley and co. i, my gf, my bf, my other bf, and all my friends know the truth. you’re fucking liars and fakes and abusive and groom people. do the universe a favor and go to long term therapy or maybe just never go online ever again with any device, anytime, anywhere, ever. and in fact hole yoruself up in your homes and never speak to anybody ever again because you clearly can’t help yourselves from finding new targets to fuck with.

emotional terrorism at its finest.

[fly-with-our-beautiful-wing-blog]

BTS in a Zombie Apocalypse

Reaction: How the boys react / adapt to the zombie apocalypse 

A/N: I don’t wish harm on any of the members especially not Namjoon who I kinda singled out in the AU a lot ;-; sorry Nams. Also I speak about the military a lot cause I think any country would fight this with their military as harshly as possible. 

Jin: 

When it starts: I think that he’d be watching the news when the zombie apocalypse happens. Of course the group would be on tour, busily working their schedules and trying to remain level headed through out the whole ordeal when the virus “cows disease” becomes a topic. Through out the past couple of weeks people had been coming down with the illness which leads to extreme dehydration, death, and hunger. And most importantly; it’s extremely contagious. 

However it wouldn’t seem like that big of a deal until the next morning when there’s a knock on the boy’s hotel room door and Jin (who’s already awake) goes over to see who it is. it’d be their manager and he’d look deathly pale and nervous. 

Without a seconds worth of hesitation Jin would let their manager in, asking what’s wrong and if he’s okay before he sees the traces of blood on his managers arm, his hand holding the bloodied spot tightly. 

“Someone bit me,’ Is all his manager is able to say before he collapses over, heart not beating anymore. 

With a piercing scream, Jin would back away, not knowing what to say or do other than call for the other boys to come quickly since their manager is literally dead in front of him. 

“What’s wrong?” Yoongi would ask just as the supposedly dead manager’s hands start twitching back to life. 

Adapting: After escaping from their turned manager, the boys would have just enough time to get out of the hotel room, grab the younger members and get out. They’d run down to the garage unit where their bus is and then, Jin, knowing how to drive would get them out of there as quickly as he could. 

Driving for who knows how long, the boys would eventually find themselves in a more remote area of Korea where they could settle down essentially and build a base camp, joining other survivors who had the same idea. Through team work and the will to survive they’re able to build a whole community and eventually work towards learning the way to cure the ravage illness that destroyed their country. 

However, I can imagine Jin being possibly a little sad since his parents most likely didn’t make it out along with the rest of the family. He has his brothers, but it’s still not the same.

Yoongi: 

When it starts: It was in the middle of the night when the sirens went off across Seoul. The sirens had spooked Yoongi awake, his first though thinking they were going to be bombed or something. 

“This is an important message. There have been numerous terrorist attacks against our country. All citizens must stay inside. All citizens must not open their doors for strangers. Call police if there is anyone outside that you can see that looks ill or in danger. Do not bring attention to yourself. I repeat, do not bring attention to yourself.”

The message played loudly and sudden screams of those who were on the streets from late night drinking were loud and abundant. 

“Yoongi?” Jin asked quietly through the darkness, the older male also awake as he started to stand up, worried about the messages they were hearing. 

“Let’s go lock the door and windows,” the shorter replied as he began to get out of bed. 

The other members, all but Jeongukk were beginning to exit their bedrooms, wondering what all the commotion was as they too had heard the announcements. 

“Keep the lights off,” Namjoon said to Jimin just before the younger could turn them on. 

Quickly, Yoongi made his way to their door, making sure to lock it and looking through the peep whole when there were a few bangs heard down the hallway. Out of the side, Yoongi could some people running? There were some shouts coming from out their with a sound that was almost like a growl type thing not too far behind.

The person who was running was no all of a sudden in front of their door, banging loudly and screaming for help. And yoongi, was frozen. He stood their and watched as this person, this thing, comes running and tackles the man to to the ground, tearing and biting at his jugular in a vicious manner that was horrendous enough to make Yoongi come back to reality. 

“We need to block the door,” He said as he began moving to their shelf that was dedicated to all their shoes. 

He didn’t know what was going on, but it was evident that it wasn’t good. 

Adapting: Yoongi shuddered from the cold air that was drifting in his direction. Him and the other six members had almost all made it out of their hotel safely, making it to the roof as they waited for a rescue helicopter. The only one who hadn’t made it was Namjoon who’d thrown him and one of the infected off the roof in order to protect the rest of the members. But from that, the others had managed to survive. 

“Coffee?” Soekjin asked softly as he found his way over to the younger member, sitting beside him as the looked out at the night sky. 

The six of them were currently at a military base just outside of Seoul. Only one of the member, Taehyung had actually been reunited with his family so far, so it was a matter of waiting for the current moment to see what would happen.

“No thanks,” Yoogni sighed as he shifted to the side to give Seokjin some room. “Just thinking.” 

“About Nams?” 

“Yeah.”

“It’ll get better okay?” the older said softly. 

 And Yoongi wasn’t sure if it actually would. 

Hoseok: 

When it starts: They were on a plane when the zombie apocalypse started. Flying to America for their upcoming concert in LA when there was a sudden burst of turbulence and the buckle your seatbelt sign came up. 

“Attention passengers, because of airport disturbance we’re going to be making a detour to a different landing dock. Please remain seated until we say so.”

The announcement was in English and quickly the members were trying to have Rapmon explain what was being said. 

“We won’t be landing in LA apparently,” Namjoon replied to the other before he went back to sleeping, trying to get some shut eye before they had a week of no sleep. 

“Okay,” Hoseok replied before he too went to sleep and let the plane land where the pilot suited best. 

Adapting; When they plane had landed in the middle of an abandoned field in Kansas, the boys were shocked to say the least. They’d been watching the news on the little TV’s that were provided in the plane and had seen the total amount of chaos that was happening world wide right before they emergency landed. 

“Alright, stick with me and the other managers since we’ll be able to communicate,” Namjoon had told them when they started to make their way around.

When a few weeks passed however and Hoseok realized that they didn’t have any way back to Korea or let alone, back to where they needed to be, it’d felt like his world had crashed a little. 

Of course, he’d tried getting ahold of his sister and mother right off the bat, saying that he was okay. But from what he heard, the contagious disease was even more rapidly spreading there than it was in America, and after the first week, he couldn’t get ahold of his family anymore. Everything just went to voicemail. 

“Hey hyung,” Hoseok said one morning at the base they were staying at. They were lucky enough to be able to pull some strings and stay within one of the underground military bases in America even though they weren’t American. “Do you think we’ll ever make it back?” 

Yoongi shook his head as he started walking down one of the many hallways that led to all different sorts of rooms, “I don’t know dude.” 

“What about the group?” 

“What about us?” 

“You think we’ll be okay?” 

It was during sensitive moments like that Hoseok’s never ending happiness seemed to run out. 

“Yeah,” Yoongi said with a soft smile as he looked at the younger, “And if you want to know something maybe a little cool... I was able to get a hold of my brother today.” 

“Perfect! Where is he?” 

“At the base just outside of Busan, they’ll be relocating so he said he’d look for your sister.” 

And with that small amount of hope, Hoseok’s smile returned. 

Hoseok biased and I suck at his ;-;

Namjoon:

When it starts: Namjoon was off on one of his very few vacations. He’d been trying to spend time with his mother, taking her out to Jeju island and showing her around for the fun of it since he loved spending time with his parents. It was there, though that the older was witness to a cruel scene of a woman being attacked by an older man. 

“Hold on a second,” Namjoon said softly, stopped in his tracks as he put his arm out, stopping his mother from walking forward before he bolted towards the scene and grabbing the deranged male before ripping him off the now bloodied woman. 

Everything then seemed to be in slow motion for Namjoon as he was able to throw the chubbier male to the side and look down at the motionless girl that layed on the floor. Her neck and chest ripped apart and her ear was missing on the right side. It was enough to make the older puke on the spot. Disgustingly sad. 

“he just attacked her!” A person screamed as Namjoon’s mother walked over to her son, tears springing to her eyes from the shock of such a nice peaceful day turning so sour so quick. 

“Are you okay Joonie?” She asked as she patted his back, concern shown throughout her features. It was then that the dead women they were standing next to grabbed onto his mother, pulling her leg down and bitting harshly into the flesh which made his mom scream out from the pain. 

Adapting: After Namjoon had carried his mother away from the scene, trying to escape as best as he could from the danger, his mother as well, had turned. It’d been terrible, a mother trying to kill her own son. And for a moment, Namjoon almost let her. He didn’t have it in him to fight her off and instead resorted to pushing her undead body into a closet and locking it from the outside, wailing at everything had happened. He felt hurt and scared and didn’t know what to do. He wanted his mom. 

Later on, when the military had stormed through the island, essentially killing anything that moved and taking the few survivors they deemed healthy, Namjoon was then safe. Or so he thought. He’d gone to base near Japan where a medic team declared they might have some sources and ideas of what was going on, but truly, nothing was clear. 

That was why, him, as a survivor had been forced into becoming a lab rat essentially for the virus along with other citizens. 

“You should be proud,” one of the doctors had said when they were injecting small traces of the virus into him. “You’ll make history, you could be known as a hero to Korea.” 

Namjoon stayed silent. He’d been at the base for nearly three months and had witnessed terrible things in the time being. Been fed basically nothing. Been kept alone with nothing. Had been told nothing. 

He was alone in the world right now and hoped that if any of his family was alive or any of the members had made it out, that they weren’t in the same situation as him. 

“Are you sure that I would be? Or are you talking about yourself?” the younger retorted as he hissed at the needle going into his arm. There was a moment of silence between the shot and the doctor talking once more, a numb feeling rising up in his arm as the seconds ticked by. 

“We’re going to inject you with the virus and then and antidote to possibly erase the effects.” the doctor explained before his pushed Namjoon back against the paper lined bed, “It’s just a short nap okay?” 

It was around this time Namjoon knew there was no way out of his situation. He was going to die, he knew it. He’d seen it happen to the rest. No antidote had been discovered yet. So he let his eyes close and he relaxed and breathed in the clean air and rubbed his hands together one more time, thinking about all he’d achieved and how his mother, just minutes before everything had turned bad had been telling him how proud she was. And then, just like that, his consciousness slipped. 

“Mom?” Was the last thing he said before his body went motionless and was pronounced dead. 

~~~~~~

A/N: okay I didn’t expect to make namjoon’s so sad ;-; In fact.... I was gonna make that one Jimin’s but he’s soooo smol I just didn’t have it in me. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed!!! The Maknae line will be up tomorrow or maybe Wednesday !

[allthatwehear]

for the archives

I know that 2020 was a bad year for us all (at least, presumably), and I’m not kidding when I say that on December 31st, 2019, something dropped in the pit of my stomach, and I felt deeply afraid of what was to come.

I’d spent new years by myself in the big, hill-top, slightly raggedy house I’d been living in all summer. There were talks of venturing to the snow-clad cabin for new years with some school friends, but I couldn’t get work off. 

It started poorly, and it certainly ended poorly. But the nagging sensation carried into the New Year. And I mean this wasn’t just like a “since I had a bad New Year’s Eve it’s going to be a bad year” type of feeling. This was like, a total wave of darkness; like that night I was in the house and all the lights were off, and I was stumbling around blind, hands outstretched, wondering why I felt such doom and complete and total fear. Waiting for the light to be flicked back on but it stayed dark the whole year. The whole year. 

There was a similar instinct amongst my family the evening-prior to when my first sis died. I do believe there is something somewhat biological, animalistic about us humans – these psychic, predictive washings that come over us.

Regardless - I’ve been learning to listen to myself. Because, since that New Years I have been uncharacteristically predictive; my senses are so keen. Since I have taught myself to listen, I know now when there is a situation that is bad for me. I can feel it. I can.

And I felt it, that night, into the day. Nineteen days into the new year, I was on my first flight home from Seattle to Colorado, to see my oldest sibling in the hospital. Their tumor (Juge goes by they/them) had grown significantly. It was causing head aches, dizziness, weakness. Radiation wasn’t working. Something wasn’t working anymore.

I am sitting on my bed in a beautiful room with a sliding glass door, palm trees swaying outside. There’s rain coming and I can smell it in my room. I just moved to California. I mean i packed my car in a little over 40 minutes, and drove to southern California, to move in with my mom and her husband Daniel. And as I am in this place of unfamiliar peace & surroundings of love -- I mean, Seattle fucking pushed me out -- a year later, after Juge’s death, and I’m coming to process what happened to me.

here is my process, if you would like to read it. i dunno why you people like to, sometimes. you’ve got me thinking about writing a book about grief, or maybe my experiences. but that seems like freaking dog poop, who would read that -- lol.

i’ve been staring at my eyes in my twin mirrors in this foreign, new bedroom -- it’s all rushing back -- almost like i’m living it all over again because i hadn’t yet had a moment to let it all wash over me -- all.

woosh.

now that i am not in survival mode (ask me why seattle was harsh, i’ll tell you.) it feels like I am again -- sleeping on that blow up bed in maddie (my other sister’s) office room. I am again walking the white halls of the hospital. I’m sitting on Juge’s plush bed, making Juge laugh. I liked to do that, because humor is sometimes the only thing I know how to do, when Juge is sitting there, looking so sick. they were easy to make laugh, too. and their laugh -- oh, so sweet. high-pitched and cute; their eyes crinkle up like mine do: mine and juge’s “eyes smile” when we smile.

at this time last year, i was flying back and forth to the hospital (during school, in-person school, yeah,) I was flying with my head down on the airplane, nudged in between two people and unable to have the freedom to cry, so all I could do was hide my face. wait for the nightmare to be over. numbly listen to mom talk & answer my questions in the car ride “home”. to be honest, it already felt like i was being driven to a funeral and juge hadn’t died yet. to be honest, I wish that maybe I was. I wished that I was just being driven to the end of it all, not have to go through the visible/death part of it all.

Post-Death

my best school friend from Seattle wouldn’t talk to me on my birthday. I was told I was having emotional breakdowns “an unreasonably frequent amount of times” (don’t worry this person is blocked on instagram -- now -- ) by another. and once housesitting, I stared into an empty sink with a knife near my wrist -- for an entire day, just staring. 

I lost so many people. so so, so so many. it wasn’t just juge. it was friends, who made pivotal imprints on my time in Seattle; so much so that being there feels like a stomach ache, a place I had to learn to “reclaim” and quickly (and yet for survival) create my own personal associations. “rewrite history” -- the history of betrayals, and deep harms.

how can one person endure so much loss? I ask myself that every. fucking. day.

I don’t know why you left me, if you’re reading this. maybe my situation scared you. but I hope you do know that leaving someone when they just lost someone, if you were a friend of mine, is not quite fathomable. and i hope that if you were ever given the choice -- if you reincarnated, built a time machine and went back, you’d change your mind and do it differently. if you find that one of your own -- well, i used to be one of your own -- if you find that someone in your life loses someone soon, i hope that you will stand by them. that’s all I’ll say in that regard. but i wish you never left.

it’s flooding back to me. i’m reading old journal entries and they’re an old Sarah saying “how are you still alive?!”. i guess i moved to california and i’m looking to put those old pieces back together.

but the stabs -- the stab wounds are still there. and they’re blaring into my eyes like a bright sun (eyelids, red) and though they’re shut tightly I still see visions, imprints, moments of ordering a quesadilla at the hospital but that was the last thing I ate before Juge died; of actually sitting down, politely, at a table at a coffee shop right after the phone call with my mom that “you gotta come home” and did homework; flashbacks of... oh my god, did this happen to me...? did i really go through this, last year...? 

oh yeah. i did. 

you lose so much more than the person you lost. you lose your mind. you lose your energy. you lose your memory & your ability to navigate your life. you lose parts of yourself that you loved. you lose friends. you lose family. you don’t actually just lose the person. there is a lot tangled into grief.

and i’ve learned that you very quickly get used to losing things. 

I guess i process when i move. i’ve been dancing a lot. i’ve been processing with some really beautiful, really wise, really incredibly wicked friends who I am blessed to have are quite a few years older than me -- i’d say this is helpful for me though, at least where i am mentally (or where grief takes you to mentally, sometimes). i’ve been processing through meditation. i’ve been allowing myself to invest in new parts; let the old rust and slow their gears, and the new... is exciting. she is different, but she is becoming *whole*. 

i’m learning that walking away is easier and attachments are meant to be lost sometimes and literally every single person in this universe has something so deep and treasuring to teach you in life -- oh, it is lovely. i cannot express my gratitude for the things i have learned from gorgeous, stellar social-justice fighting, art loving, delightful, supportive, accepting loves who god !!!!!! somebody gave me to meet; to cup chin and say “you’re worth it, you’re worth it, my dear”. 

i have found new purpose and meaning for life. and that is literally, that sometimes life doesn’t have meaning. 

this is she. she living in california. signing off. 

(if you are struggling with grief, in any form, there is an amazing account that’s brought me a lot of comfort. @griefuncovered and @grief.is.a.river are lovely.)