#and though there are ways I've managed to trap down on things irl without too much anxiety. I am indeed noticing it in other ways though

[notachair]

I hate that even when I may feel like things have been going something well* for a moment (*relatively, in some aspects), that there's this... gripping terror of possibility or ect. that will bother me otherwise. Like can I be allowed to not feel dread for something? This time around it, specifically, is at fault for me sleeping late in the morning or struggling to sleep. Like yesterday? I was sleepy, I'd been sleepy and I'd barely slept cause I had to wake early. But there I was continuously flinching myself awake cause it wouldn't stop bombarding me. Came back around to again deliberately use melatonin to drag myself through the sleeping-in period with barely a thought.